that was more than i used to have okay

3

dylan: whose all coming out this weekend anyways? isn’t it a small ass cabin? 

levi: that’s why we bring tents dipshit, enjoy the fresh air look at some trees i don’t know. 

elf: yeah it’ll be fun! we can look at the stars and shit dyl. i’ll even share a tent with you (;

dylan: okay ;-; 

miles: still who all is coming? all we really have is fox’s truck and the jeep. 

levi: other than us i think alice and june are coming. there might be a few others to-

elf: i think zeus mentioned he might stop out with nico but he’ll probably just jack someones car before riding with us.

sylvie: june’s coming…?

miles: it’ll be fine, we’ll have a good weekend.

elf: have you guys taken that chem test yet? my body is not ready i should have studied more-

Okay let’s get one thing straight. Yes, I know Jake has more screen time than the other love interests. Yes, his idol scene was bigger. And this is not cool, yes, the other love interests should have more screen time as well because this is a game for all of us and all our li should have big scenes (I could explain that Jake’s story is essential for the plot and that his idol scene actually showed us what would Rourke do to our MCs if he won so that was a massive lead but you wouldn’t listen to me so I’m just gonna rant). That DOESN’T give the right TO ANY OF YOU to freaking hate on a character OR his fans. Yes you are allowed to not like so much or even dislike a character or criticise about the amount of screen time he gets and you are entitled to your own opinion because we can’t like the same things. But your hate is affecting people. Your hate will not make more screen time for your faves. Instead of hating on Jake and send awful texts to his fans, why don’t you spam pb for your faves, without hating on others? Don’t make it look like we are responsible because he gets more lines. You have the right to dislike him and WE have the freaking RIGHT to love him, make posts for him, show our love for him. You have a problem with that? Make your own posts and show your love for your faves instead of just judging a character. We are not immature or racists or bad or idiots because we have picked him as a LI. Show your love for your characters without hating on others because the hate you give will neither give your faves more time nor will make you better people. It just creates drama and sadness.

In other words… take your fucking hate and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

PS. A little inspirational Aleister to all of my Jake stans out there, you are all great and ILY.

anonymous asked:

Let me just say I wish there was a suicide trigger warning on the entirety of V's route. I wish I'd had this warning before I started, or something that also could've helped would be a pause function: let us pause the game and come back to it when we can handle more. But I just wanted to warn anyone else who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, please take care of yourself, your mental health is more important than completing a game perfectly♡♡♡

I think a trigger warning would’ve been vv helpful but I think a pause button would defeat the whole real time mechanic of the game. Also, missing a few chatrooms to get some sleep is perfectly okay! Some of my friends look exhausted from having to wake up for them

Disgusting Lies { 8&39 }; D O K Y E O M

[ lee seokmin x reader ]

word count: 771
genre: angst
a/n: listen to don’t wanna cry while reading. this one isn’t requested, seokmin was the only one who doesn’t have reqs/writings so im making this for him my lil ball of sunshine altho this was angst hahaha. i hope y'all like it ! p.s. okay this is not so so so emotional but i cried wow

The verbal fights, arguments over stupid little things, excuses of not seeing each other anymore, cancellation of karaoke dates, silent and cold treatments, and the absence of saying the ‘i love you’s’ were more than enough for the both of us. I know that at some point, this relationship has to end. That there’s nothing but acceptance. 

So when he called me last night after two months, I knew it was the time for us to give up. How was it going to end? Is it going to end? Or we’re still going to fight even when there’s nothing to fight anymore?

He was sitting on the floor of his terrace, arms loosely wrapped around his knees and his eyes wandering on the view outside. I slowly approached, sitting across from him. To my surprise, he looked miserable. In my expectations, he should’ve prepared himself for this moment, but his facial expression right now was completely different from what I thought. Tear stains were visible on his cheeks. His eyes puffy from what I assumed that he didn’t sleep last night. I felt the tears slowly forming my eyes as I continued to stare at the man I love.

I was entirely focused on his soul that I didn’t even hear a song playing from his phone beside his foot. 

You remind me of this song.” He tried stating but his voice ended up cracking. His voice made my heart crumple. “I’m sure we both know why we’re here.” 

“We’d be really stupid if we don’t.” I said, trying to lighten up the mood but didn’t work. “Seokmin,” I called. “Why did we end up like this? How did we end up here?” I asked, forcing myself not to spill the tears.

“I was going to ask the same question, Y/N.” He softly replied, still not looking at me. 

“I can’t find myself anymore, Min. I can’t find my old self. The one that has the same happiness as yours.” My voice trembling.

“That’s probably why I can’t find myself too. I guess I’ve given it to you, and you gave yours to me, and we both lost it. So now, we are nothing.” He said. “We can still fix this, right?”

I love him. Everything about him. I love his voice whether he’s singing or just speaking, his laugh, his face twenty four seven, his dishes, and the whole nine yards. I still love him. And I know I always will. But I know that this is not going to work anymore. And I only want the best for him.

Because I know this has to end, I have to say the words I never thought I would say to him. “I don’t love you anymore.” I whispered.

And with what I said made his gaze turn to me. For the first time in two months, I finally laid my eyes on his. “No, no..” He said to himself, shaking his said repeatedly. “No, Y/N. You’re kidding, right? You’re not getting the point! I asked you to be here so we can fix this!” He said, his voice now full of emotions. He crawled closer to me to hold my hand but I pulled it away when I felt his fingertips brush against my skin. Even his touch was breaking me.

“Seokmin, can’t you see? This is not healthy anymore! I don’t love you!” I stopped myself from not throwing up from the disgusting lies I told him.

Your words are empty! I know you will never say that to me! You only want this break up because you think it’s the best for me!” His tears were flowing like river. “Y/N, I’d be more miserable without you.” He cried.

“You handled it for the past two months. I’m sure you can live without me for the rest of your life.” I softly stated. My guts were slowly twisting from my lies. I couldn’t handle the sight of him crying. I found myself standing up and opening the door to his room but I felt a pair of cold hands gripped my legs.

“Y/N, please. I love you.” He cried out loud, begging for me to stay. But I couldn’t. My presence ruins his life.

“I’m sure you do.” I said one last time before stepping in his room, his grip losing from my legs just like his presence vanishing from my life. I closed the door behind me and broke into tears. “I love you too.”

Jack, I know you hear this a lot, but you’ve helped me so much.

You’ve helped me like myself more than I did a year ago. You’ve inspired me to be more confident with a lot of things, myself included, but that’s still a struggle sometimes, but it’s okay because I have you there to motivate me to try harder everyday.

You can’t cure my social anxiety, I know that, but you motivate and inspire me to try harder. So, thank you for that.

It used to be so easy for people to not expect much from me growing up because I would never speak up in school, I didn’t wanna mess up and sound stupid, so I didn’t speak. I thought it was honestly helping me. People just labeled me as “the quiet girl”.

But, now, I have you. You tell me you believe in me, that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. That’s what I’ve always needed to hear, so thank you for saying those things. You’ve literally helped me through so much, and I’ll never be able to repay you for that.

Just…thank you. :)

So if Evan is “around ten years older than us,” that would make him around 27, which would mean that Kentin, who’s at most 17, is hanging out with somebody who’s almost thirty.

Okay, it would make more sense for him to be maybe around 5 years older than the high school characters of the game. Still!

My fiance’s 27. I’m 25. I would never hang out with a minor who isn’t related to me! That’s way too weird! I have almost nothing in common with a kid who’s still in high school aside from fandoms maybe!

Some kid’s problem with money: “My job isn’t paying me enough! I’ll never have the car of my dreams at this rate!”

My problem with money: “I had to sell video games to buy my prescription meds.” (True story, until I got insured. We weren’t making enough so we were in debt with our landlord for half of a year.)

NO KID CAN (or should) BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THAT!

EVAN, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH TEENAGERS?!

Source Engine’s vertex weight limit is bothering me.

Source engine has a limit to the number of weights you can have assigned to a single bone.  This limit is three.What this means is that, if you want to have more than four different bones independently move a single vertex, you’re going to have to use a better game engine.

This isn’t a complete barrier as a bone will move all the bones that are beneath it in bone hierarchy.  If you remember the arm example I gave from my previous post, what this means is that, despite the three-weight limit, the shoulder bone can still move vertexes in the fingers that would otherwise only be assigned to the finger bones.  This is because moving a bone will move any and all bones under it in hierarchy, and thus move the vertexes assigned to it.  The skin over your knuckle is only “assigned” to the bones for your fingers, but since moving your wrist or elbow moves those bones, the skin moves along with it.  

This is exactly what you want when creating limbs or tentacles or anything long and meaty.



*ahem*


Anyway.

Where this doesn’t work great is in instances where you need smooth gradients of weights over a large plate or “flat” area.  Like cloth.  Which is exactly where I run into issues.  This is going to be really hard to explain simply without spending the time to create examples.

Go back to math class.  Remember gridpaper?  Imagine you have a sheet of large-square grid paper.  At each point where the axis lines cross over (the vertex points), assign up to three numbers.  Each of these numbers have to add up to 1.0.  Any less and you get phantom “implicit” bones inserted by Blender. Any more and you get fucky weights. 

Each of those numbers represents a “weight” assigned to a bone.  A weight of 1 will move the vertex 1:1 with the bone. A weight of 0.5 will move it 1:2 with each bone.  

If you want to move the entire grid paper, you just assign one number to each vertex: 1.0

Now let’s say that one bone assigned to everything has four child bones, each spaced about the paper with the root at the middle like the ‘5′ side of a six sided dice.  You want the middle ‘root’ bone to move the whole thing, and each of the other child bones to merely morph a corner to the paper.  Well, since the four child bones are, well, child bones - below the root in hierarchy - as long as all vertex weights are assigned to either the root or any of the child bones, and the weights on each vertex all add up to 1, moving the root will move the entire sheet 1:1, exactly what we want.

Now, if you want to morph a corner, you want the weights to be very heavy for the bone in that corner, but you want it to gradually weaken as you get away from that bone.  In this case, the vertexes directly on or around the bone may be assigned 1.0 to that bone, but as you move away, you will start seeing vertex weights like [0.8,0.1,0.1] or [0.5,0.25,0.25] and so on and so forth.  

Think about the weights for the vertexes at the middle point between two corners. That being the vertexes if you follow along the edge of the paper to the exact middle between two corners.  You don’t want it to move exactly 1:1 with either bone - you want both to move it, but perhaps only weakly.  Remember, you want it to flex like paper.  So one thing you could do is assign say 0.25 of the vertex to each bone, and the 0.5 remainder to the root.  In this case, each bone will move the vertex 1:4 with the bone, while the root will still move it 1:1 as explained above.

Now place a new child bone under the root bone at that point.  Now you could go 0.5 to that bone, and 0.25 to the others and still be good.  Assuming you’re still with me, that’s essentially how vertex weights work for 3d modelling, only with the graph paper being a sculpt of n-gons.

Now, the limitation.  If you want a smooth transition between two bones, you need to gradually shift the weights when going between vertexes.  The more vertexes inbetween, and the slighter the weight shifts, the smoother it will be as long as you’re not taking up more space (e.g., using graph paper that’s the same physical size, but with much smaller squares on it).

However, when dealing with cloth, especially with cloth of unusual shapes, you will quickly start running into issues where the only way to have a smooth transition between the various bones is to have more than three weights.

Here is the weights for one of the bones in my Quarian hood:

Blue in this case means a weight of 0 on the selected bone (or “vertex group” in this case, but when exporting to source, they’re functionally identical, so I’ll just keep using bone) and the warmer it gets, the higher the weight.  1.0 is red.

Following the color gradients, you can see how the weights are smooth on and off.  Now let’s say I wanted to create a new bone that manipulated this area of the hood circled in punk right here:

It’s important to know what other bones are there, so I’ve highlighted the “spine” of the hood.  Each bone is a child of the other one, with bone ‘1′ being the root.  Moving 1 moves 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.  Moving 4 only moves 4 and 5.

So let’s  make our new bone a child of bone 4, named bone ‘4A’.  In order to get it to work right, we need it to have a smooth transition, both from bone 4, but also bones 3 and bones 5.

Each of these vertexes are already assigned three weights.  If I create bone ‘4A’ in the center of the pink circle, I simply just replace the weight assignments for bone 4 for those vertexes with bone 4A.  That keeps the smooth transition vertically, but now we have an issue with the transition to and from bone 4.  No matter what we do here, moving bone 4 will still work fine, however, unless we’re willing to deal with a sharp and sudden weight gradient between 4A and 4, there’s no way to set this up with only three bones.

The problems only get worse if you repeat this along the vertical axis, for hypothetical bones 3A, 2A, 1A, and 5A.  Essentially, to do that, which is exactly what I need to be able to do, I would need to be able to work with up to six weight assignments. 

And since I’m limited to three, I’m pretty sure I’m SOL on this one.


This is why it’s best to use flexes or shapekeys when working with faces.  Because so many “bones” need to be able to work with a given vertex, and since flexes don’t have this limit, flexes are used for faces.  However, if I were to create flexes for the hood in this manner, I would be sacrificing a lot of customization for the morphing of the hood in poses or animation.  With bones, you can manipulate a certain area in 3D space and with rotation.  With flexes, you have to key in each axis of movement or rotation to achieve the same flexibility, and then you’d still be limited by the ends of each flex.


so yeah.

foomp

Assuming I can’t find a workaround, I’m going to have to create some limited flexes. :////

(( Okay! So, I am really sorry about the lack of activity! I really want to get good grades but the stress makes me not want to do anything as soon as I have free time =v=“ 

I think when it comes to drawing, I might spend more time on my main blog doinng my comic than on my ask blogs, I need to force myself into being motivated!

I also need rest but dffhkdhfk that’s no reason for sleeping for two days straight like I used to

I just woke up so I am not sure this post is really what I wanted to say, I might delete or rewrite it once I’m a bit more awake

Thank you all! I hope you will have a nice week!! ))

petrichordiak  asked:

can i hear more about the class you hijacked? (this doesnt have to be private)

I actually got out of bed just so I could go full rant about this on my  computer, so y’all buckle up (thank you for giving me this opportunity lololol)

Okay, so this happened about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. I’m gonna go ahead and make this one public for the benefit of those that didn’t follow me back then, if that’s cool.

Let me preface this by saying that I had taken literally every one of the professor’s classes before then. Partly because they were the only anthropology style class the uni offered, and partly because halfway through the second class I realized that literally everything was the same, except the books, which we never used. Even the assignments were the same, and I had perfected a system of how to do those quickly, easily, and last-minute, lol. So it was pretty much the definition of an easy A, and the prof liked me bc I was nice, actually listened to her even though I’d heard it all before, and didn’t rat her ass out for not actually teaching what she was supposed to, lol.

I should’ve known right there.

So when there was an opportunity to take a Native Americans in North America class with her, I jumped on it. I needed the hours, I obviously knew a lot on the subject already, and it would be another easy a, if history was anything to go by. 

It became one of the most frustrating classes I have ever taken.

As always, the class started the same as the others. We started out learning about vocab and models. NBD, we’d get to specifics eventually, right?

Now there are about 16 to 18 weeks in your average semester.

By week 6 we had yet to learn anything about Native history. She’d assigned some reading about the moundbuilder’s archeological sites, but nothing about the modern day. Maybe she was just taking it slow, I thought, though I was bothered by her only talking about Natives in the past tense. But she’d told me in the first class I’d taken with her (years ago by now) that she was enrolled Native, so I didn’t call it out immediately. 

We get to week 8, halfway through the semester, she hadn’t covered anything. No mention of treaties, modern movements for civil rights, AIM (American Indian Movement), the illegal overthrow of Hawai’i, buffalo kill offs, smallpox blankets, Chicago museum’s bullshit, NAGPRA (a law protecting grave sites and demanding the return of remains to their Nation by museums and sites, if the Nation will accept them (sometimes they allow the remains to be housed by the museum bc they’re typically more secure there, but that’s very rare)) beyond how it affected archeologists, the different regions, the language families, ghost dance, the flooding of lands by companies illegally, human zoos, RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS, THE FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS, NOTHING.

Like your 4th grade history segment, as racist as it probably was, probably was more informative than this bitch was being, okay? And I was getting mad. Y’all know me. Native activism is a huge part of my life, and has been for years. Students were being allowed to say really racist shit unchecked. The prof wasn’t teaching jack. Misinformation was being spread, even by the prof.

It felt like even in a class dedicated to us, we didn’t matter. Our history didn’t matter. 

I was fed up.

Then, she pissed me the absolute fuck off. She proceeded to spend the rest of the class talking about South America.

Now, our Indigenous family below the equator absolutely deserve to be discussed. They have so many issues that really, really need to be boosted and respected. We do not raise their voices often enough. But this was a class specifically about North America, and her reasoning for making it otherwise was racist in so many ways.

First, she changed the curriculum outside of its scope because she was “MORE INTERESTED IN SOUTH AMERICA, AND WOULD HAVE TO DO RESEARCH TO TALK ABOUT” the issues I was publicly demanding to know when she would cover. As if her personal interest and ignorance were more important than our lives. 

(side note, it turns out she was lying about being enrolled and Native. Her white supremacist brother (not even kidding) had said that a Cherokee woman chief in Minnesota or some shit had enrolled them. I asked her if she meant Wilma Mankiller, the first modern female Cherokee chief. She said no, it was someone else, and in the late nineties, after Wilma would’ve no longer been Chief. I publicly called her out, and even another student jumped in to help, because there was no other woman Chief then, and there was no recognized Nation that far North. Her white supremacist brother had lied bc he felt othered while working near the Din’e on a job site, bc they didn’t include his racist ass, lol. So she’d lied her way into being allowed to teach a class she didn’t even know or care about. So at this point, I was fucking done with her, lol)

She also was showing us old propaganda films, and literally every group she discussed was being painted as ignorant, warlike savages by her and the materials. She even defended a man that intentionally exposed Indigenous peoples with no immunity to certain diseases to said diseases ‘just to see what would happen.’ She recommended his books, including ‘Noble Savages’ to us. I shouldn’t have to explain why that’s racist, lmao.

All of this is to say that I was VERY fed up, she (and the class) was VERY racist, and she was going down.

Then her foolish self decided to assign a massive project where we were supposed to ‘teach the class’ about a Native subject (y i k e s, esp. since the class was full of non-Natives). Since I was Fed Up, I decided to skip the usual schooling on cultural appropriation to instead teach everyone (including her) about just a smattering of the important things she hadn’t even mentioned in passing. :)

What followed was a 33 page powerpoint.

Apologies for any inaccuracies, and blanket tw for slurs, racism, death, csa, torture, child abuse, etc etc etc

(I added all the regalia pics bc they made me happy and calmed me down, which I was gonna need. I set the presentation up as “Man, I sure had trouble deciding what to make my presentation about. Should I talk about X? Y? Z? This? That? This? And so on until I reached residential schools and Reconciliation as my discussion topic.)

I hope those gifs work. If not, they should be under my “Oka Crisis” tag, or “n i fn a history” and “n i fn a protests” tags. I also had decided early to use the Nations actual names where possible.

Oh look, a quick and easy way to make people realize THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T FUCKING REFER TO US AS SLURS, and here’s how to discuss the issue without being additionally harmful.

OH LOOK, SOURCES

#FreeLeonardPeltier

Getting progressively angrier at this point. The class is smart enough to stay silent.

#MMIW #NoMoreStolenSisters. Please bring them home. Whatever it takes.

Stayed on this slide juuust long enough to stare each person in class down.

Oh look, we’re finally hitting my actual topic. Again, shit’s about to get very heavy. Please read only if you can. I will not be glancing over these to check them rn, bc I can’t. I’m sharing just for y’all to see, and hopefully reblog to educate people.

I honestly wept as I worked on this part. I can’t read it again.

Calling it out.

AYUP. Canadians are so nice and their government isn’t problematic at all

There are survivors that are my age, and younger.

Not letting them forget that this isn’t just in the past. It still wounds us.

It still hurts. We’re still recovering.

I included resources for them, including the prof, to actually educate themselves, since our school sure as shit wasn’t going to do it.

A handful of my sources.

Anyways. I was done. So fucking done. She (the prof) still tried to guide the class back and pretend that it was acceptable that she hadn’t taught them anything. I didn’t let her. I reminded them all that the only reason that this was Canada focused was bc they’d just had the Truth and Reconciliation reports, whereas the US government hasn’t put any effort into assembling data on their atrocities. Go figure.

Anyways, happy #Canada150 everybody :)

OK to reblog.

The signs

Aries:
I see galloping, raging, wild horses in your eyes, when you walk by flowers they seem to bloom in seconds and when I die, I’m sure I’ll see your name on heavens gate because it was made in your distinct image.

Taurus:
I’m reminded of you when my coffees gone cold and suddenly I don’t have the strength to warm it back up. I’m left sitting at the table with an aching back, crumbs left on the table from the food I could hardly eat the night before. I don’t want to open my eyes, I want to be left in the dark to think of you and how I long to lay my head on your shoulder once more. You were always there.

Gemini:
When I see a single balloon floating to space in our grand sky, it’s you I’m reminded of. You are the wind and that’s okay, never settle, never rest. The sky was made vast and space was made infinite because the universe knew it had to make room for you and all that you are or will ever be. Limitless. You have a mission.

Cancer:
I just want to hold you in my fragile arms that were never made good enough to hold someone like you. I know you cry alone at night because the beauty of this earth is overwhelming. Sweet baby, feel, feel, feel all there is to feel. Within you there is an endless summer and countless roses. Look in the mirror and know there is no beauty like yours.

Leo:
Leave everyone shook like you are meant to. Don’t apologise for your greatness or intense demeanor. I know who put the stars in the sky, it sure as hell wasn’t a god. It was you who painfully ripped open your chest to set each one free. You created the stars, without needing to be a god. You just needed to be yourself.

Virgo:
When I look up at the sky, I see the centerpiece that is our sun, our life source. I look up and see the beautifully ingenious clouds that are as white as milk and as soft as your soul. I see nothing but lively beauty above, knowing heaven is behind it all. You are the hidden heaven, heaven itself.

Libra:
I can’t sit down and enjoy a simple cup of tea anymore because you invade my every thought and it’s like the earth shakes violently when I’m forced to think about you. My tea spills every time and I see my reflection in the liquid that I never clean off the table, remembering your words said to me of how beautiful i am. I try to tell myself I am beautiful but ill never compare to you. You are the most beautiful being alive and I love it that way. I’m okay with my spilled tea and tears because at least you havent left my mind. Your what keeps the walls of my mind full of art when all I can physically cause around myself is a mess.


Scorpio:
You are the blood in my veins, you are what gives me life. I can’t sleep at night because my dreams consist of nothing but your astounding image. I’m not afraid of the ghosts that linger my cold room at night anymore because I’ve gotten used to them talking to me. I want nothing more than for one of them to have your voice one day in hopes that you’ll have come back to kiss me once more.

Sagittarius:
You’re the spark that starts a fire, let’s just say you’re hot. You’re the mischief in the eyes of a sociopath, you’re universal intelligence. Stay true, stay especially you and use the amazing power house that is your mind to continue blessing this earth with your own greatness.


Capricorn:
Don’t be afraid of being soft, I know you feel a lot. You are beautiful, hard as a rock or not. Do what makes you feel alive and thrive in what brings you life. You’re here to do great things. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t give up. You are one of a kind.

Aquarius:
I left my home and travelled miles to a new, unknown place. It was terrifying until I saw you in the skies. A lightening show, you put one on just for me. Flooding the sky with colors unseen. I never saw anything as striking. Never have I wanted to be struck by lightening so badly, to be able to taste you. But the storm was too far away and although Id travel miles just to be under such a storm, such grace, your beauty causes my knees to go weak. I can’t move in the sight of you.

Pisces:
You carry me up into the sky with your angel wings for me to look down and see the heads of all the living down below. You tell me you are apart of each and every living soul and I believe you. You tell me you are apart of every piece of nature that grows on this earth and you are every second, every minute and hour of the day and I believe you. You tell me you are night and day, evil and good. You tell me you are everything and nothing and I believe you. You are all these things but you are especially an angel. You are otherworldly.

hello, i’m erin.

i’m really poor, my family is financially unstable all the time because my parents have walking/moving disabilities and it’s hard for them to find proper jobs since they can barely move. lately we’ve been having major financial problems.

they both used to work until the thing i was afraid of happened; my diabetic mom’s health condition started getting worse and worse. she couldn’t handle the pressure and the bullying at work so she had to quit her job. however, her health is the main priority in this entire thing so i don’t blame her at all.

as for now, my father is the only source of income. his monthly salary is $150 and as you can see that’s far from enough to maintain three people. i’ve tried to get a job myself but no one wanted to hire me because i’m a minor.

for the past few months my mom’s illness has been progressing, we even got her a wheelchair since she couldn’t walk at all. she needs a damn expensive diabetic healthcare course right now. my father works day and night just to gain some money. also, i contributed with my savings even though it wasn’t much. 

yesterday, she got into a diabetic coma. it’s a life-threatening diabetes complication that can lead to death if it’s left untreated. in the case of my mother, it is fatal. the treatment that can help is extremely expensive and i have no idea what me and my dad are supposed to do in this situation.

our efforts are not enough for my mom’s medical assurance. the amount of money we have by now can provide only around half a month (if not less) of medicines. my dad is working all the time he doesn’t even sleep at this point, it’s a miracle if he gets at least 2 hours of sleep a day. but unfortunately it’s never enough.

i feel pathetic and useless, the tears are streaming down my face as i’m typing this and the fact that i can’t help in any way is killing me. it’s an obvious fact that she is going to die if we don’t pay for the medical assurance. please help, i really don’t want to lose my mother she means the world to me.

only money can help us in this harsh situation so if you can donate i’ll be forever thankful. 

if you can, do it through paypal. my paypal email is: erinrin.rin@mail.ru

any amount will be highly appreciated, i’m not asking for much, really. also reblog this please, it does matter and i hope i’ll find people who can help. i’ve seen people on here do wonderful things to help people in need just like me. i truly believe that you have the power to save my mother. i will try to post this on gofund me as well so hopefully more people will get to know about my terrible situation. i know i already posted about my mother’s condition around 1 year ago on my another account and i’m really sorry for sharing my situation again, but back then it wasn’t even half as bad as it is now. i need your help now more than ever so please be understanding. i truly hope that you kind people can help us. it’s totally okay if you don’t donate though, just keep my mom in your prayers please, it means a lot. 

i’m desperate please help, i’m begging you, i don’t want to lose my mother.

thank you so much.

okay but like

revolutionary concept:

instead of making musicals with great male friendships that end up being a better relationship than the one with the ‘female crush’ and get shipped by a big part of the fanbase

we start making musicals with

gay characters

  • Unawakened Person: I'm better than you.
  • Awakened Person: Okay.
  • Unawakened Person: No, really. I am richer, better looking, drive a better car, have a better job and live in a bigger house.
  • Awakened Person: (With no sarcasm) How wonderful that you have a nice house, job, and car. You are blessed.
  • Unawakened Person: Wait! No envy? Aren't you jealous?
  • Awakened person: No, I feel joy for your good fortune and wish you more of it.
  • Unawakened Person: How are you able to be happy for me when I have more than you and am bragging about it?
  • Awakened Person: You see my friend each of us values certain things. The things you have mentioned, the possessions and privileges are not important to me. Love is important to me. Compassion is important to me. Kindness is important to me. When one lives this way then there can be no envy of another's material success.
Reaper: Chapter Two

His hand was warm.

Isa pulled me to my feet. “Just a second,” he said, scanning the area.

I didn’t feel dead. I could feel the wind on my skin and my heart hammering in my chest. My hands were trembling with adrenaline. That had to be a good sign.

“Kat,” Isa said, startling me. I had been staring at my hands so intently that I hadn’t noticed he was holding out his hand to me again.

“I’m not dead,” I informed him a bit giddily, taking his hand again.

Isa didn’t smile, but the corners of his eyes crinkled. “This way,” he said, pointing with his free hand. I looked, but he seemed to be pointing towards thin air.

He led me away from the broken highway and my silver car, wading through the faded brown grass. After about twenty yards he stopped and turned to me.

“I need you to think of a place,” he said, “Any place.”

My mind went blank. “Any place?”

“Anywhere. Visualize it in your mind. Got it?” I hesitated before nodding. “Good. Now we’re going to take one more step together.”

I looked at the grass before us. It didn’t look any different from any other patch of grass we’d passed. I drew a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“And go.”

As we stepped forward together, the air went…soft. Like a deep, thick mattress. Like holding an overripe peach in your hands and slowly pressing in your thumbs, letting them sink into it. Not hot or cold or anything like that. Just soft.

Less than a moment passed before the softness was gone; I didn’t even have time to blink. We were still standing in the grass by the highway. I could see my car close by and the mountains looming in the distance. But the edges of the mountains were vague and unclear, and the light that filtered through the clouds was tinted red, almost as though it was shining through rose-colored glass. More telling was the quiet. The wind had disappeared, and the grass was silent and still.

“You know,” Isa commented, “I think people usually choose somewhere other than the place they’re currently standing.”

“I panicked,” I responded, taking in everything around me, “Which seems to be my basic state of existence at this point.”

Unlike everything else, Isa seemed more real than ever. The basics were still the same: pale, ashy skin stretched tight over his body, white hair, and jet black eyes set deep in their sockets. His fingers and limbs were overly long for his body, and he was wearing a black hooded coat with loose sleeves, grey pants, boots, and a t-shirt with a vintage ad for spam.

However, his skin lacked the translucent quality it usually had, and his shadow -

“You have a shadow,” I blurted out, “You have a - the grass. You’re actually crushing down the grass.” I knelt down and confirmed for myself that yes, the grass could be pressed down, and then I turned around and thrust out my hand. The softness was waiting just feet behind me. “Where are we?”

“This is an inbetween place,” he replied, watching as I shuffled a few feet to the side and stuck out my hand again, “We needed somewhere safe to talk.”

I pulled my hand from the softness and tried again. “And the deserted highway wasn’t cutting it?”

Isa pressed his lips together. “It’s not humans that I’m worried about overhearing us.”

I paused mid thrust. “Oh.” The fear which had almost been forgotten in my wonder flared up.

“Here,” Isa said, and he took my hand again, leading me around whatever invisible portal we had passed through. Almost mindlessly I walked towards the car.

“Are we safe here, then?”

He shrugged. “Should be. I don’t think I was followed - there’s no good reason anyone would, really, I’m not a major player. But it’s not wise to talk about these things in the open on principle.”

We reached the car, and I stretched out my hand to touch it. It was solid under my fingers, but the numbers on the license plate were scrambled, changing every time I blinked. 

Isa stopped me as I went to open the driver’s side door.

"I just wanted to see if it would start,” I said.

Isa shook his head. “It might, but it’s not wise to go through any doors here. There’s no telling where you might end up.”

A little disappointed, I perched on the trunk instead, pulling up my legs and wrapping my arms around them. Isa stood before me, hands shoved in his pockets.

“So…” I started, Isa looking at me expectantly, “Are you an angel?”

Isa burst out laughing. It was an odd sound, out of place in the unnatural silence of the inbetween.

“No, and I wouldn’t let an angel hear you say that if I were you. Actually, it would probably be fine; most angels I’ve met are quite nice. But trust me, if you ever meet an angel, you’ll know it. People tend to fall over when they show up.”

“Okay, not an angel.” There went half the theories I’d ever read. “Then what are you? And don’t say a reaper.”

“I never really liked that name anyway,” he replied. He kicked the ground for a moment, thinking. “I’m the guardian of your soul. I’ve been with you since your soul first joined your body. I will ensure no one touches it until your life is complete.”

“…And when my life is complete?”

“I take your soul,” he answered nonchalantly, “ - Kat?”

I rolled off the car, running into the field, running towards the softness.

Maybe he wasn’t an angel after all. But there were other theories about the reapers.

“Kat?” he called after me, “I’m not taking your soul here and now.”

I stumbled to a stop in a panic. The grass all looked the same. Whatever gateway we’d walked through wasn’t marked by any kind of visual cue. I was effectively trapped.

“Maybe you’re not taking it now,” I said as I turned, arms tight by my sides, hands clenched, “but you’re going to.”

Isa walked towards me slowly, “That probably wasn’t the best way for me to phrase that.” I shrank away from him instinctively, and he sighed. “This would be easier if I was an angel. They’re good at explaining things. Can I try again?”

He waited until I nodded hesitantly.

“I’m the guardian of your soul. I was bound to you the moment your soul entered your body. While you live, I’ll protect your soul from harm. When your days are complete, I’ll carry your soul to its rest. I’m not going to kill you, consume your soul, drain your life force, steal your corporeal form,  keep you in a tortured disembodied state devoid of all sensation, or anything else of that kind.”

I stared at him. “That’s…really specific.”

“But you’re not running this time,” Isa noted.

“If you’re lying, I’m screwed anyway,” I retorted.

“Ah.” Isa’s body seemed to droop ever so slightly. “I liked it better when you just trusted me.”

“And I liked it better when I wasn’t afraid I was going crazy,” I snapped. I shut my eyes and paused, willing myself to breath deeply. “I’m tired. I’m stressed and exhausted and I have no clue what’s going on. You disappeared for two weeks and I didn’t even know reapers could do that, and now you’re talking and you touched me and I’m somehow not dead and we’re in a freaking alternate dimension or something and it’s just a bit much.”

“I didn’t intend to let things get this out of hand,” Isa admitted, “I only thought I’d be gone for a few hours at most.”

Finally, the question that had been burning in my chest for weeks. “What happened? Why did you leave?”

“There was a reaper who needed help. He and his human were being targeted, and they weren’t going to make it.”

“Are they okay?”

His face brightened a bit. “They are. The woman died and he was able to deliver her soul safely.”

“Your definition of a happy ending and mine are a little different,” I muttered, “What did they need protection from?”

Isa looked grim. “There are many beings who would want to misuse a human soul,” he said softly, “And there are others who would like nothing more than to see a reaper give into the temptation to take advantage of their charge. Some of these were attacking this reaper in the hope of either claiming the soul for themselves or, if nothing else, forcing the reaper into a position where he drew on the soul for power. I thought they’d back off once I came to his aid, but they fought until the end.”

Behind Isa’s shoulder, I saw something like a dark smudge on the horizon where the mountains met the sky. A horrible sense of wrongness settled in my gut.

“I didn’t mean to leave you for so long,” he continued, “And it shouldn’t -”

“Isa,” I interrupted, pointing urgently, “There’s something here.”

Isa turned to look. The smudge was getting larger. “No,” he said, “No no no no!” He grabbed my hand.

“We need to move now!” He took off across the field, dragging me behind him. We passed through the softness and the world shifted, the rosy light turning grey. We sprinted back to my car.

I looked back towards the mountains. I couldn’t see anything.

“Get in the car,” Isa ordered, and I hurried to do so. After buckling myself in, I looked up to see Isa pull out a gun.

“Drive home as fast as you can,” he said, ignoring my shock, “And don’t stop until I say so.” With that, he swung himself onto the roof of my car.

I turned on the car and made a U-turn, pressing the pedal to the floor. A minute later gun shots rang out, and I looked into the mirror to see something burst through the portal and hurtle down the broken highway in pursuit.

SKAM S04E10 Clip 8 - Dear Sana

[Incomprehensible chatter]

SANA: He’s the one who bought the toilet paper rolls.

THE GIRLS: Oh! That’s right!

VILDE: Where did they end up?

BOY: I just sold them to some friends at the Mosque. Nothing big.

EVA: Oh, okay.

BOYS: Eyyyy!

ESKILD: Eid mubarak! Eid mubarak.

SANA: Hi!

ESKILD: Hi!

SANA: Welcome.

ESKILD: Thank you and I just wanted to say Eid mubarak!

SANA: Eid mubarak!

ESKILD: Eid mubarak

SANA: Ohhh, how nice the two of you look!

ESKILD: Thanks! I’m the one who chose the outfits for tonight. I went to Grøndland and did some shopping. Yes.

SANA: Hijab and everything?

ESKILD: Hijab and everything. And I brought a little present! I brought a gift for the hostess. It’s two boreks that I put in a nice box.

SANA: That’s very nice of you.

Keep reading

Closeted Witchling HELP

decided to start a masterpost for young witchlings who sadly must hide their way of life. THIS IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. RESOURCES AND MORE TIPS WILL BE ADDED LATER

This post is for: 

  • Inexperienced
  • starter witches
  • lgbt friendly
  • including all witchcraft not just wicca
  • urban witches
  • poor witches
  • all genders
  • closeted witches

DEITIES

Whomever your deity may be, you may want to make an altar for them. You may not be able to have a full altar with crystals, proper offerings, candles and such all over it but none of that is truely needed! little things can be made into altars or maybe a dedicated space! As long as your belief and prayers go to your deity thats all that matters! your deity understands! Example: say your deity is Athena! You may not have a statue of her but you can maybe put up a couple of flowers in a cup or a stuffed owl on a shelf and tell her that its for her! the way you do your craft is totally yours! 

-Offerings can be the hard part. My deity is Abnoba, a Celtic goddess from the Black Forest. Her offerings are mostly Black Forest Ham, Black Forest Cake, and Spring water. Now i can usually provide this since we have Black Forest ham but my mom is gonna be kind of concerned about why my table has just ham on it. So, I do other things, like burn a candle, or talk and offer my stuffed wolf for her. Anything can be an offering if you deem it so. 

CANDLES

Okay so not everyone can get access to multiple colorful candles. however for some witches who hide away this can be a completely normal obsession for some people! So maybe youre in the store with your mom, and you can ask if you can have a candle or two.  “What for?” want that room to smell like Honey Suckle Spring of course.

My mom bought me two candles AND an incense burner! My family is normal about essential oils and incense and candles so this was fairly easy for me. 

Ive realized incense can be a bit of a tricky thing, but for me I had this dragon incense burner forever (it sadly doesnt burn incense well) and it takes the cones, but you can find like gift incense cases and such for the sticks! which is a common form of incense. I use cones but thats okay too! Any little thing helps! If you can convince your parent to buy an incense burner and buy some incense your set! if not, thats okay! candles will still work!

Essential Oils. These are used a lot more today than a couple years back. My family uses them for personal reasons and medically for my bro. These are beneficial though! you usually order them online but some stores have them in candle and incense isles. BE CAREFUL THOUGH. some oils are not to consume or for your skin! Most are for aroma therapy which you mic in water and put in a diffuser! (if oils do not agree with your sinuses steam works as well ive read.)

RITUALS

Rituals can be tricky if youre trying to have privacy and parents dont knock coming in or someone comes home early.I would suggest night time or bathroom rituals. for new witches or witches in cramped spaces, i suggest picking a time, get a candle and pray in privacy of a bathroom or late at night as everyone sleeps and leaves you alone. this goes for spells too. 

ITEMS FOR RITUALS AND SPELLS

You may have read a cool spell to do, but you dont have that candle, that herb, that crystal, etc. Thats okay! Spells are easy to wing its the intent and the mindset that works with it! Maybe try easy spells with minimum effort or research and educate on the spells and what they mean. Write a list of items that maybe you can build up over time! this is the thing a lot of witches freak out over, note you dont need these things to be a witch. the belief in magic, and deities or however you do your craft makes you a witch!

CRYSTALS

anyone can be into crystals. Its a common hobby to hav crystals it makes it easy to collect when youre out and about. sadly though these things can be pricey. You can find some places that have packs of different crystals. I found a pack at a native american store in cherokee that had rose quartz, amethyst, white quartz, green quartz, jasper, and blue quartz. You can find Crystals or crystal jewelry at art stores, musem shops, malls, or tourist areas like Cherokee, Tellus Museum, and places that hold spiritual value or geology. Ordering them online is an option to! But any jewelry can be like crytsal usage and hold magick purpose.

HOLIDAYS

Mostly for Wiccan witches, you may celebrate holidays like Yule and such. Problem is the celebration. You probably cant make cakes, or certain things on that day. which is fine! you can always make yourself a decent lunch and in your mind its a celebration. you enjoy that grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Now being dragged into family holidays can be different. but some holidays can easily work with yours! Easter and Spring equinox fall in good alignment with one another! Other religions can be a learning experience to improve your craft or take in values you can adopt.

Ink and Kisses

Anon said to moi:

“Omg i want a tattoo artist jungkook!!!!!! 😭😩 smut/fluff/and honestly anything!!!! I just love tattoos artists jungkook but there aren’t alot of those fanfic…. can u help a poor girl out ??💖”

FIRst time trying a Tattoo artist AU. I had to do some reading before this, and JK is sO sexy i s2g. Still weird that I don’t really ever feel like doing the do with him. HOPE YOU ENJOY <3 1,400 Words

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Tattooist au!

Part 1 | Part 2 (FINAL)

Originally posted by nnochu

No one would have ever imagined that hardcore badass Jeon Jungkook, the most well-known tattoo artist in the town, the guy who dropped out to follow his passion, was best friends with beautiful, sweet, top-scoring university student, Y/N. 

Physically, they seemed to be polar opposites. He had dragons inked onto his skin, three piercings on his left ear and two on his right, and always wore black; whilst you were a bright, clean slate – but you knew that was what he loved about you.

Keep reading

So much More

-Max allows himself to be ten for just a moment with his odd guardian.-


“Max?” The smaller boy didn’t look up from his game, but David could tell he had his attention. They had learned each other’s body language quite fast.

“May I hug you?” He asked, his voice never once leaving it’s somber tone.

Max’s eyes tore away from his DS,  and maintained eye contact as he plopped his stylus into its slot.

“I-, Um? Are you,” Max looked around their cabin for anything that would cause David to ask such a question, “Okay?”

David looked as fine as he always was, the same smile and demeanor he kept up despite Max’s constant nagging on how annoying it was.

David laughed at the question and he sat down and crossed his legs in front of the couch.

“May I have a hug?” The older male held open his arms, Max hesitantly slid off the couch, leaving the handheld game on the cushion, and stood awkwardly in front of David.

He stared uncertainly at David who waited poised, ready to wrap the boy up in a tight hug.

Max took a deep breath, and closed his eyes as he walked into David’s chest, and almost gasped as David wrapped his arms tight around him.

He had always fought against David’s hugs, but this one felt different than all the others. David’s green hoodie had provided twice the warmth, plus it provided twice the cushion from David’s thing arms. David held him so tight.

Max wondered why he hadn’t let David do this more often.

“Your really mine, Max, aren’t you? Your my kiddo?“ David asked his words muffled by the messy curls that covered half of his face.

“Uh, yeah? You’ve had me for six months now, dumbass.” Max said as though all of this was very obvious.

David chuckled and sat his chin on top of Max’s head. “That mean’s you’re my son, doesn’t it?”

Max was taken back by the question. Not once had he ever thought of their relationship on such an intimate level such as father and son. When anyone said the word ‘Dad’, Max thought of sharp suits and cigar smoke that made the whole house reek.

Max thought of disappointing stares coming from every direction, a night shared long ago by a naive girl and a manipulative older man. He imagines a son who had to suffer for the mistakes two people made so many years ago. David was not even the definitions of what a dad was too Max.

He had a whole definition of his own.

If somewhere to say the word sweet, visions of David would swim in his head. Memories of David baking various treats, all with copious amounts of sugar and icing, stacked high on several trays. David had fussed over his weight back at camp, before he could really monitor the others eating habits. Always making comments on how he would blow away at the rate he was going at. At Max’s third doctor’s visit, the lady had announced Max was only a few pounds away from being a healthy size and David was ecstatic. They celebrated with homemade pizza and ice cream.

And if you said understanding, so many memories would jump out at Max.

When Max first arrived he had nonstop nightmares, some that’d last the entire night leaving him exhausted in the morning, and others that would require him to jolt out of bed in a panic. Those were the night David would lovingly open up the covers to let Max in, and when the temperature began to drop David lovingly made his way out of bed to prepare hot chocolate to soothe his nerves and provide Max with some very ‘sweet’ dreams. The joke had gotten a laugh out of Max.

If you said pride Max would think of their latest camping trip and how David made the best s'mores. David had been setting up the tent while Max collected the firewood. Max had tried to start his first fire while David tried to figure out how to blow up an air mattress without the forgotten pump. When Max had gotten a steady blaze built from twigs and paper, nothing matched the proud grin David had given Max. Max couldn’t stop himself from returning the gesture.

David was not a father, he was so much more.

A father was cold in both touch and demeanor. A father had a son that he considered everything but.

David was a David, and that meant so much more than any title given out by a piece of paper and blood.

Max pulled away to look him in the eyes. David’s hand fell to his shoulder and Max held them there tight.

“I’m not your son because your not my father.” Max’s tone sounded so much more childlike then David was used to, and it was such a surprise to be matched with such a grown up sentence.

David’s shoulder slumped but he kept up his smile, despite the stinging of upcoming tears.

“You’re not my dad, but that’s… That’s okay, because you are something so much better. You’re my David, and that something, so much more physical than a word, it’s right here.” Max grabbed the fabric covering his chest, and used his other hand to copy the movement with David’s sweatshirt.

“It’s right here. You’re my David because you’ve been everything but my father to me. That means so, so much more.” His chest tightened.

“But if you want to do the whole titles, I don’t have to just be your Max.” Max stepped closer, burying himself back in David’s arms.

“I can be your son, David,” Max look back up and saw David’s quivering lip and quickly tried to play off his emotional speech, “But it’s whatever, you don’t have too.”

Max found himself high in the air staring down at David.

“You’re my son, Max! You’re my entire world, you are my happiness, and that makes you my son and I’m your David.” David spun in a circle, drawing dizzy giggles from the ten year old.

“Yes, yes you’re my David!” Max confirmed, hoping that would calm down the other enough to put him down, but he could contain the burst of energy that resonated through his body making him smile and laugh.

He threw Max up in the air and grabbed him to pull him into a hug. They couldn’t help but grin and falling into each others happiness. “My Max!” He cried.

This meant something so much more to the both of them.

David squeezed the boy and fell once more to the floor. Max with his limbs wrapped around David tightly, and David stroking the smooth curls.

“I love you, son.” David whispered after a moment, the sentence feeling so foreign on his lips yet so good.

Max breathed in deeply, every muscle in his body screaming at him to reject the soft words, to counter it with something snide. Max forced himself to be ten for just a moment longer

“I love you too, David.” And it meant so much more.