that was fast holy shit

I showed my friend smut for ths first time; here is what she said.

“Aw this is cute, but knowing that you are the literal spawn of satan, I am afraid”

“wish I could get someone undressed that fast holy shit”

“WHERE IS THE CONSENT IN THIS?”

DICKS OUT. SO FAST. NO WARNING. JESUS HELP.

“Does that size of dick even exist?”

Throbbing. haha… Thats a fun word to say.”

“HONEY PUT SOME LUBE ON FIRST, HONEY NO”

“you ain’t gonna be sitting tomorrow”

“Why are you making me read this again? I’m not complaining…just….curious”

“with the way they described that, I don’t think i could ever drink milkshakes again”

“This has left me aroused and confused”

“Well that was wild”

i think it’s time i told you (i’m a fan of your universe) (1/1)

Years after Hawkmoth’s defeat, Ladybug and Chat Noir have a conversation about life, love, and marriage.

Ladybug checked her communicator for the third time that night, and frowned.

The green pawprint blinked idly back at her, resting at a junction between city streets—the same place it had been every other time she’d checked.

They hadn’t arranged to meet up that night. It was her turn for a solo patrol tonight, and there hadn’t been any trouble big enough to make calling for help a necessity. She’d stopped a couple muggings, interrupted a robbery—normal, small things. Nothing that needed an extra pair of hands.

And, sure, they both transformed just for the fun of it sometimes. Sometimes they caught one another out on morning strolls or midnight snack runs or impromptu patrols, but usually those involved moving around.

Chat’s tracker hadn’t moved in the past two hours.

She shouldn’t worry—Hawkmoth had been in jail for the past three years and Chat wasn’t in a bad part of town right now—but…

But…

The green pawprint blinked at her from the same junction, at the same pace, unmoved.

Ladybug abandoned the end of her route and headed downtown.

Keep reading

pelor: what does she mean to you?

keyleth: i told you i was faithless which might be true when it comes to the gods. but not with vex’ahlia. not with vox machina.  she gives me my power.

scanlan: her name is vex and she is greedy and mean sometimes and she can steal a lot. she’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything right about her.  she does all of these things to protect her friends and her family.  she would give her life for any of us or anyone truly in need.  she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.

grog: she believes in me. she tries to teach me to use my brain, learn from the world, and she always tries to cheer me on which not a lot of people do.

pike: i don’t have a real sister, but i consider her more of my sister than i ever had.  she’s family and if you take her from me there will be hell to pay.

percy:  she is mistress of the grey hunt of whitestone.  baroness of the first house of whitestone.  she is my heart and judgement and the future i have chosen. and she is the one that i have betrothed to.

vax:  she’s every hope i have.  when i am gone, she will make the world right.  she has the intelligence and heart to make real world decisions.  she is me but better.  she is your champion.

pelor: then there is hope.

happy women’s day, ladies!! here’s to another year of sisters and cisters both kicking ass together

Oh my god ( Jacksepticeye x FemReader )

(( gif not mine ;0 ))

Originally posted by boopymooplier

(A/N): lmao this isn’t Marvel. Nope it is not because I do and can write other things. Kind of. Hey, this might end well because I used to learn German but do not expect much.

Request:  Oh, you write for dear Jackaboy? Would you mind writing something in which Reader is the most subscribed German Youtuber (like Jack is the most subscribed Irish one) and his girlfriend and they play something together with Mark and Pewds (preferably Prop Hunt) and every time she dies, she cusses the boys out in German? Calling them things like Pissnelke (Piss Carnation) and Arschgesicht (Ass Face). Yes, those are real German insults. Thanks in advance!

Warnings: Boi there will be multi bilingual swearing up in here

_____

“Hallo!” (Y/n) greeted eagerly, gesturing toward her set up camera “I am here, again. Back with my lovely friend Felix. And two other idiots, I don’t know, they kind of just joined…” she mumbled the last part into her microphone and snickered to herself.

“Ouch,” Mark cried and Jack laughed “You could at least introduce me as your boyfriend…” Mark faked wiping a tear to his own camera; a big grin upon his face already.

“Oi!” Jack called “That’s my line you twit.”

“Alright, alright, no fights guys,” Felix mocked, giving his own shit eating grin to his setup camera “I am the favourite so I make the rules.”

“God has spoken.” (Y/n) added. Currently starring at the loading screen of Prop Hunt, she were surprised as to how much already happened without the game even being loaded yet.

“Lmao, you guys are fucked.” she said cockily, glancing into her camera, once the game finally loaded.

“MISS (YOUTUBE NAME), THE ONE AND OnLY!” Felix called into his mic, exactly after your statement. “THE MOsT SUBSCRIBED GERMAN YOUTUBER.. even though she doesn’t have an accent, like what, totally fake fan… IS ABOUT TO GET. HER ASS HANDED TO HER. ON A SILVER PLATTER.”

She couldn’t help but shake her head and chuckle quaintly, as Mark bellowed with laughter and was quick to agree. 

“Don’t be touching her ass, mate,” Jack warned “I know where you live.”

❆      ❆       ❆

“ARE YOU KIDDING?!” (Y/n) yelled as she died quickly. “Who just goes around and shoots every fucking mug??!”

“Uh ha, this guy.” Mark stated smugly “Now where, oh where, is your leprechaun boyfriend?”

She twisted her face “Mark, I want you to know that you are a huge arschgesicht, and we are no longer friends”

“A what?” He asked and looked directly into his camera.

Felix couldn’t help but spit before chuckling soundly, shaking his character’s gun a bit and looking at his camera as he laughed.

“Whaaat? What does that mean?” Mark whined and turned back to his game.

❆      ❆       ❆

“Honey, I’m sorry it has to be this way.” Jack said, hurt lacing his voice but masked by a grin beginning to form on his bearded face.

“No you’re not! Let me live, holy shit.”

Her lamp couldn’t seem to move fast enough as she shifted her way through furniture and debris; away from Jack’s hunter.

“I love you!” she called

“Love ya’ too!” Jack said back and blew a kiss at his camera.

“Oh you fucking lustmolch…” (Y/n) finally insulted once she got shot. She pouted into her camera.

“Fookin’ what?” Jack repeated, laughing unsurely.

“Fucking slut you are Jack.” Felix breathed out after laughing again. He glanced at his camera and winked “Ah, (Y/n), if you were here, I’d give you a highfive.” and he chuckled some more.

❆      ❆       ❆

“So all I learned from today was that both Mark and my own boyfriend are both asshats,” (Y/n) started “and that Feli’ is my only true friend.”

Felix’s character was sat on top of (Y/n)’s chair in the middle of the kitchen.

“That’s right.” Felix smiled and shot at her character until she died. “Love ya’.”

“You goddamn pissnelke!” (Y/n) laughed and the round ended.

“HeY!” Felix began to laugh as well, with Mark and Jack joining in. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth!”

❆      ❆       ❆

“Okay my friend’s, that was Prop Hunt with the Holy Threesome.” (Y/n) smiled at her camera.

“Hey!” Jack and Mark said in unison, over top of Felix saying ‘kinky’.

“You learned that Mark and Jack are untrustable bastards and Felix can speak German!” she snickered.

“Ja.” the swede agreed heartily.

“So until next time; click this,” she gestured to the air on her right “to see my previous video. And any of these links to check out Mark’s, Jack’s or Felix’s channels.” she gestured to her left “Have a lovely evening!” she said finally.

“Bye!” your three friends said as well, in mock of a German accent.

“Oh my g–”

_____
(A/N):
So there’s that. I really actually liked the request and so I hope this story maybe did it justice. Thank you for reading!

Things Said In My Household but with Fairy Tail Pt.6
  • <p> <b><strike></b> if you think we are crazy without cobra, imagine when he lived with us? </strike><p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *At A Farm*<p/><b>Erza:</b> Whatever. You. Three. Do. Do. Not. Cause. Trouble.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> We would never.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> let's not forget the mall trip.<p/><b>Gray:</b> Pffft. That was a one time thing.<p/><b>Erza:</b> OF COURSE IT WAS A ONE TIME THING WE ARENT EVEN ALLOWED THERE ANYMORE.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> Aha dont worry Erza. We got this.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *sees geese*<p/><b>Gray:</b> Natsu no.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> dont you dare make that overrated joke.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> look at all those chickens.<p/><b>Gray:</b> God dammit Natsu.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> Erza<p/><b>Erza:</b> Yes?<p/><b>Wendy:</b> I want a cow<p/><b>Erza:</b> Uh no.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> pls<p/><b>Erza:</b> Where in the car would we even fit it?<p/><b>Wendy:</b> simple. We leave Natsu, Gajeel, and Gray.<p/><b>Erza:</b> *opens mouth to say something* Wendy dont be ridic--..-- Actually..<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *Driving Back Home*<p/><b>Erza:</b> Im surprised you idiots behaved.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> *nervous laughter* Yeah.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *struggling in the backseat*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> Natsu are you okay?<p/><b>Gray:</b> YEAH HE'S OKAY..<p/><b></b> *chicken noises*<p/><b></b> Cluck. Cluck. Cluck.<p/><b>Everyone:</b> ....<p/><b>Erza:</b> was that a chicken noise?..<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> nO<p/><b>Erza:</b> ..you did not..<p/><b>Gray:</b> WE DIDNT.<p/><b>Erza:</b> you guys stole a fucking chicken.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> His name is Cluckers now.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> So they kept to have a chicken but i couldnt keep my cow. OK.<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b></b> *At Home*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> We have more pets now Erza.<p/><b>Erza:</b> Tch, tell me about it, We Have a chicken and a cat.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> And three dogs.<p/><b>Erza:</b> Dogs, we dont ha-- Yeah that's about right.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *At The Zoo With Cobra and Laxus*<p/><b>Erza:</b> Whatever . You. Three. Do. Do. NOT. Bring. Home. Another. Pet.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> We would never.<p/><b>Laxus:</b> wait wym?<p/><b>Gray:</b> We have a chicken now.<p/><b>Cobra:</b> you have a whAT.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> His name is Cluckers.<p/><b>Cobra:</b> what the fuck.<p/><b></b> _____<p/><b></b> *At The Gorilla Exhibit*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> AHAHA LOOK. IT'S GRAY'S FAMILY.<p/><b>Gray:</b> *waves at a gorilla* Hey Gajeel.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> that backfired horribly<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *A Loooooooong ass time ago when Cobra lived with us* *Wendy was A baby, Natsu, gray, and Gajeel were about 8-9*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> PILLOW FIGHT! *whacks Gajeel*<p/><b></b> Gajeel; NATSU IM TRYNG TO SLEEEEEP<p/><b>Gray:</b> if you both dont shut the hell up.<p/><b></b> *Silence*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> oHHHH GRAY SAID A BADWORD IM TELLING COBRAAA. *starts running out the room*<p/><b>Gray:</b> *covers mouth* I DIDNT MEAN TO *tackles natsu down* DONT TELL COBRA.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> *looking at the two fighting sleepily*<p/><b>Gray:</b> *grabs pillow and knocks Natsu out the window*<p/><b>Cobra:</b> *insert a person in their late teens* WTF.<p/><b>Gray:</b> And then there were two..<p/><b>Cobra:</b> *frantically runs downstairs outside to Natsu*<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Cobra:</b> Well. This is it guys. Take care will ya?<p/><b></b> Erza: you're not leaving.<p/><b>Cobra:</b> I know you are--<p/><b>Erza:</b> you're not leaving because Natsu, gray, gajeel, and even Wendy [*note: she was 3*] unpacked all your stuff.<p/><b>Cobra:</b> ....<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>*in tree house:</b> still with cobra*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> This is our treehouse! And no girls are allowed!<p/><b>Gray:</b> But sir! What about Wendy?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> Throw her in the prison!<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> right away captain! *puts her in a cage that hangs outside the tree*<p/><b>Cobra:</b> hey how are you guys holding--*sees wendy laughing in cage thats definitely not secure* WHAT THE HELL.<p/><b>Erza:</b> i tried to tell them *on her ipod clearly not paying attention.*<p/><b></b> __<p/><b>Cobra:</b> Erza pls..watch them for 5 minutes.<p/><b>Erza:</b> Yeah yeah OK.<p/><b>Cobra:</b> thank you ..*leaves*<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Cobra:</b> Okay im ba-- *sees Wendy crying, The kitchen stove is on fire, Natsu trying to make soup, Gajeel trying to pants Gray, and Erza trying to take the fire out*<p/><b>Cobra:</b> . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . .<p/><b></b> __<p/><b></b> *Fast Foward to Cobra meeting the chicken*<p/><b>Cobra:</b> holy shit you werent joking.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *fangirling over an anime*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> she's.....is she dying?<p/><b>Gray:</b> she's obessessed. I cant believe she actually likes that..<p/><b>Natsu:</b> Right?<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> there's no way in hell ill ever watch that.<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b></b> *a few weeks later*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> Wait is this the last episode?<p/><b></b> *cue the part Of light running away with gun wounds and he's remembering about his life before*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> ok i was not ready for that.<p/><b>Gray:</b> what the hell. What is going on<p/><b></b> *cue Ryuuke killing Light*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> nO<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> HE IS DEAD?!<p/><b>Gray:</b> NOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCKK.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Part 7? :</b> o<p/><b></b> Ah yes their first anime was Deathnote. LOL<p/><b><strike></b> you guys dont want to know how many times our house caught fire. </strike><p/></p>