that wanted another one without me in it

I Adore You

Chapter 1

AO3 Version


Genre: Angst, Romance, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: The one thing I’ve learned in life is that nothing is permanent, but then you came into my life and made me want to make you permanent.

I lay in a bed that isn’t my own with another nameless body. Our skin sticks together and I fight the urge to push him off me. Instead, I pick his wrist up with nimble fingers and drag it off my waist and carefully untangle our legs. I watch his hair decorate the curves of his face that is smothered by the pillow under his head. Without another wasted second, I dip down to collect my clothing, hurriedly putting them on as I escape another night away from a stranger to a home that never really felt like home. I sleep restless, like always, shutting my eyes before day breaks, trying to escape reality if only for an hour.

But I guess the sun comes up whether you like it or not, one way or another. You can’t sleep all your worries away forever. Instead, a stranger’s bed fills the cracks of loneliness, moans fill the silence, and touches fill the heart more than anything else. It’s all temporary though, but the one thing I’ve learned in life is that nothing is permanent. There is no forever, only temporary.

Keep reading

I know it is the popular belief that the pjo fandom is “dead” compared to the old one of 2012/13/14, but honestly? I like it much more now.

The old fandom will have been more active with the HOO books coming out constantly, but do you know what else there was? Drama. Drama all the time (more than now, believe me), and you couldn’t say what you thought without someone criticizing you or in the worst case, with someone starting a hunt for your head.

So yeah, everyone might miss the old fandom because it was more active, but I enjoy this fandom a lot more now where there may be one or another drama, but at least we can all say what we think and ship what we want without receive hate (well, at least not as much as in the past)

  • Me: I want...
  • Venus in 12th: 😩LOVE😩 but someone ☝🏻 who is willing to 😏fuck😏 and resonates with my 👻SOUL👻 on another LEVEL. 🙅🏻NO ONE🙅‍♂️ else will do the 👨‍⚕️JOB👩‍🎓!! Without that ✊️DEEP✊️ 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨CONNECTION👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 I CANNOT, WILL NOT, 👌🏻FUCK👈🏻 w/ you.✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to tell one time my friend pushed me to 'have feelings' for another friend (he was as straight as a ruler and I'm a gay guy so, what the hell, but of course I didn't have feelings for him) because she said that she saw me a little sad and shit. I'm aro and the fact that people think having a romantic partner will suddenly make you happy produces an odd feeling in my stomach, why? You can be perfectly happy without one, it's not a must.

yeah, agh it’s a weird mentality. a romantic relationship is not a cure for sadness.

Best thing about getting out of a relationship is now I can search for Miss Right again. Or wait no I can party it up and get drunk without someone on my back. Don’t have to answer to no one and can do whatever I want whenever I want. Plus I can finally be with my one true love Danny. Nothing is holding me back now. If you can’t tell I am happy to be a free single man. Judge me all you want, but sometimes it feels good to be free as hell. Off season has been going great for me, but I am ready to get back out there on that field and win another SuperBowl since no one else can touch us.

I’m so happy to see there’s so many people who wants Mutsumi with Serinuma!

I mean, it’s ok if you like better another guy(or girl) but he was the one who have always being by her side, as a friend! He never made fun of her looks when she was fat and new it was here when she first see her again.

He would never take advantage from the situation (this was a really precious moment for me)

He wants her to choose without any pressure (+ not taking advantage again)

And he cares about her safety and want her to trust him. He doesn’t try to talk in a way to conquer Kae, he says what he really believes.

Be together please

Originally posted by toycraze

I Would Hate You If I Could
I Would Hate You If I Could

I hear you’ve been telling all your friends that you’re done with me
Like you always knew things wouldn’t work out.
And I’ve been hearing things from people that I don’t want to talk to,
Like it matters who you’re sleeping with now.

Can I erase from my mind anything that you said or
Any time that we spent with each other?
I don’t want to waste away another cell on a memory
When you’re just another meaningless lover.

Forget the nights that we spent laughing
Until the morning on your bedroom floor
Without a thought about your roommate asleep down the hall.
Forget the days we’d waste in bed, tangled,
The smoke still on your breath,
Undressed and pinning you up to the wall.

And I swore I heard you talking when I was tossing in my sleep.
You were always trying to walk in circles around me.
I was out one night when I saw you and you froze me where I stood.
I would hate you, I would hate you if I could.

Forget the nights that we spent laughing
Until the morning on your bedroom floor
Without a thought about your roommate asleep down the hall.
Forget the days we’d waste in bed, tangled,
The smoke still on your breath,
Undressed and pinning you up to the wall.

I would hate you but I’m not finished yet.

Even you, up on that pedestal, the time will come
When you will deconstruct yourself and remake what you are.
When it does you’ll remember me and the words I spoke
And wonder how you ever could have strayed so far.

Me, an old woman sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch: True love? Yes, I remember true love. Two people who fell so deeply in love that they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Inseparable, they were, never apart for a moment. They loved one another so desperately it hurt to watch, so deeply that one could not go a moment without the other. Oh they played it off, didn’t want to admit what they were feeling, some say a greater being was keeping them apart, but I knew. I knew… *sighs* Fucking Star Trek

so media, and indeed society in general, has this horrible habit of glorifying and romanticizing codependent relationships. i really want people to be educated about them and why they’re unhealthy, so i’d appreciate if everyone could help me spread this around! feel free to add anything in the comments you think i’ve overlooked.

what is a codependent relationship?

a codependent relationship is one where the parties involved are unhealthily dependent on one another. it does not have to be a romantic relationship, but can be platonic, familial, etc. it will usually posses one or more of the following traits:

  • one or both people feeling incapable of handling the world without the other
  • one or both people feeling as if you are incomplete are unwhole without the other
  • one or both allowing one to have an inordinate amount of control in the other’s life; living in a way to please them; significantly altering one’s self or behavior to meet the other’s standards
  • one or both prioritizing the other’s needs and wants above one’s own
  • one or both having an unwillingness to go about life without the other

why is this bad?

besides the blatantly obvious reasons, here are some of the negative impacts/possible if not likely outcomes of a codependent relationship:

  • inability to cope or go about daily life without the support of the other
  • increased anxiety/depression/hyperactivity/indecisiveness without the other
  • increased jealousy/over-protectiveness
  • falling apart of outside relationships due to prioritization of one (loss of friends basically)
  • emotional and/or physical isolation from everyone besides the other
  • loss of individuality and control over one’s life
  • suffering of one’s individual education/career
  • refusal of separation when the relationship turns abusive
  • loss of free time
  • unhealthy obsession with the other
  • increased responsibility of carrying the entire emotional burden of another person

some of the effects of a breakup from a codependent relationship:

  • bouts of depression/anxiety
  • isolation
  • suicide/self-harm/addiction/binge eating/other self-destructive tendencies
  • worsening of effects of pre-existing mental illness
  • inability to reconnect with other people
  • loss of direction in life
  • a WHOLE wealth of other problems that would not fit in this list honestly

a common misconception is that intensely attached relationships like these are beneficial for people with mental illnesses because of the extra support given, when in fact it will often exacerbate the symptoms over time as the individual loses the ability to cope on their own and prioritize the other person above their own well-being.

there are varying degrees of severity of codependency, but that does not mean that ones that are lesser are not still unhealthy.

steps you can take to prevent codependency in a relationship if you are concerned:

  • discuss boundaries. lay out with your partner a basis (or schedule if need be) on which to spend time with one another that does not cause your other relationships, career/education, and personal time to suffer severely.
  • make room for personal time with friends, without the other person. maintain your outside relationships. if you ignore them for the sake of your partner, you’ll slowly lose them, and won’t have anyone else by the time the relationship has run its course. this will also ensure that you can maintain individual relationships with others on your own without the influence of your partner. (also, anyone would be able to tell you that trying to spend time with two people that are attached at the hip is very uncomfortable, and oftentimes devaluating)
  • find other emotional outlets and support than just the one person. find friends who can help  you with your problems too, so the entire weight of them is not put on your partner and you have somewhere to go for help and support if you lose them.
  • take a time-out. spend a couple of weeks to a month apart, not spending extensive time together. while this may seem daunting, it will help you reassert authority over your own life and readjust to not being dependent on them. this also gives you and your partner time to take a breather and reflect if things are getting intense.
  • break it off altogether. this can be a terrifying, if not unthinkable, prospect. but if you cannot be together and maintain your own lives and personal agency despite your best efforts, then you need to call it quits, no ifs ands or buts. 

you, your sense of self, and your ability to go about life without leaning completely on another person is more important than any relationship could ever be. it is not romantic or even CLOSE to ideal to unable to be away or without another person, no matter what any show, book, or movie says. this does not mean you are alone or that other people don’t matter, but that what matters most is you. feel free to love a person with all you have, but don’t let that be ALL you have.

now go out and form some healthy relationships, okay?

Sword Fighting For Fic Writers: Chapter 1

It’s going to take me another day or two to finish the full guide, so I’m going to start posting these in chapters. I will continue to post one chapter a day, and also post the full guide as one monster post when it’s done. I may refer to future chapters in these, those will be turned into links as chapters become available.

You can follow the tag #Swords for Fics if you want to keep up without following me :) There will be around 12 chapters or more.

My background: Hey there! I’ve been training in the Italian method of sword fighting for about 7 or 8 months now. So I’d say I’m still quite the novice but I’ve learned a lot and I’d like to share some of that with you all! I’ve trained with two handed swords, one handed swords, sword and buckler, dual swords, dagger, spears, quaterstaff, and poleaxe. (Not rapiers though, sorry.) I also have a “writing” background in animation and illustration.

What’s this for?: As I discovered when trying to storyboard a fight a year ago, action scenes are a pain to write when you don’t know your options. There are a ton of great fics out there with great swashbuckling adventure, and you all do an amazing job at bringing out the most important part of any fight: how the characters feel about it. And while that’s often all you need for good story telling, this is for writers who want to spend more time playing in that action.

Terminology?: There’s a lot of terminology in sword fighting that the general audience won’t understand, or may not even share the same names depending on the school of sword fighting. I’ll be using some terminology as I learned it, but will mostly try to describe things in layman’s terms.

Though a rapier could be considered a one handed sword, it is used differently and I don’t have sufficient knowledge to go in depth for them. 

So let’s get started!

Available Chapters:
1: Dumb Ways to Die  2.May Your Blade Be True! 3.On Your Guard!
4. Making the Cut 5.Stick ‘em With the Pointy End 6.It’s Like a Dance
7.The Measure of a Man 8.A Crossing of Blades 9.Like Chess, but with Knives
An Interlude About Story Telling
10.You Can Barely Lift Your Sword 11.Buckle Some Swash 12.Dual Wielding
13.Everything is a Weapon 14.Got Your Sword!

Dumb Ways to Die
Beginner Mistakes

Keep reading

Fanfiction Masterpost 2016 - Kagehina Edition

I’ve seen so many people doing these and what can I say I love a good bandwagon  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also I do just want to see the accumulation of all the things I posted last year so here we have it!

A big thank you to everybody who has encouraged me, I really and truly couldn’t have done this much without you <3 

Theirs (Series) - high school pining and everything that follows

- First, M, first time. 7.7k
- Top, M, bottom Kageyama. 4.4k 

Twitch (Series) - Hinata has Tourette’s, and Kageyama is supportive (CheekyBrunette’s fic insp.)

- Kiss, Ga series of first kisses. 8.5k
- Nerves and…You Know, M, tics and anxiety aren’t conducive to sex, but they’re trying. 9.4k

Parisienne Walkways (Series) - Kageyama is a figure skater, and Hinata is gay

- Parisienne Walkways, M, Hinata discovers his roommates secret.12.2k
- Hope and Legacy, E, the story goes on. 45.7k  

Small (semi-connected one-shot collection) - Hinata is small, and Kageyama hates that he loves it.  

- Fit for a King, G, flowercrowns and crushes. 3.7k
Naps and Blankets, G, what it says on the tin. 1.6k

- Bet On It, M, prompt 14: 69. 4.6k (RC’s NSFW Challenge)
- Strip, E, prompt 23: corsets and stockings and heels, oh my. 6.2k (RC’s NSFW Challenge)
- Scent, M, Kageyama likes the way Hinata smells. 3k (RC’s art insp.)
- To Have A Home, G, Kageyama ponders. 1.5k (Esselle’s fic insp.)

- Pretty, G, Kageyama, Hinata is noticed, is…nice to look at. 3.9k 
- Count, G, Kageyama counts kisses. 5k
- Hinata Shouyou Is Not Smart, G, self-explanitory. 3.9k
- Wish, G, Howl’s Moving Castle AU; fire demon Hinata. 2.9k
- Instructions, G, small fantasy AU. 2.2k
- Present, G, Hinata forgets to buy Kageyama a birthday gift. 5.7k. 
- Hurt, T, injury fic; Hinata hurts, and together they deal (mind the tags for triggers). 26.7k 

There are a couple of tumblr-only fics that I haven’t included, but here we have my complete Kagehina AO3 repertoire from 2016! A total of over 203.8k words, which I am…incredibly proud of, I think. I am hoping 2017 treats me even better <3 

i learned to bite back without getting blood on my mouth. to swing hard without breaking my fist. to set fires without burning up my own clothes.

sophomore year suicide but not really. part of me died and the other part wanted to. it’s not just an exaggeration it’s the scars under my skin. the ones on the outside that scabbed and healed over. the kids who thought rumors weren’t time bombs in rose gardens. like this is recess gossip not locker room isolation.

so I hit back. became the better bitch in most ways and grew thick skin. i don’t even feel the sting anymore. nothing can touch me so nothing can love me so nothing can fucking leave me.

forget safety in numbers. there’s only ever been safety in being alone.

—  remember it all? the way they wouldn’t even look at you?– lily rain

So here it goes for me about 2.10 and Sanvers : we’ve all established that there was not much about Sanvers BUT what we’ve seen was pretty great nonetheless. Their little bets are absolutely everything I want to see about their relationship : inside (AND MULTIPLE) jokes, intimacy, laughs, companionship, beautiful complicity. The fact that they are able to work alongside each other on the field and maintain a coupl-y kind of relationship without saying too much or be near one another physically shows me how much they understand each other on that matter. Like “Ok babe we’re working now but can I just say by making jokes how much I love you this ?” Not to mention the fact that their bet is about where they’re gonna spend the night. They’re at that place now : I wanna spend as much nights with you as we can because I can’t get enough of you. Plus the way they are SO competitive with each other gotta be the most canon thing of all, I mean of course they are gonna place bets on everything, even the smallest of things on a daily basis. It’s not the first time they did that, it shows how much they’re alike and I loved this, I abso-bloody-lutely loved this kind of intimacy. It was just a glance of how they behave around each other, teasing, banter and all, but boy even if it was ridiculously a short amount of time screen it was perfect and fun. Which leads me to their second and last scene : ARE THEY ALREADY MARRIED OR WHAT ? God I loved every second of it. The fact that Maggie is at the DEO (do they let her in and out that easily now ? Why was she there in the first place if not to flirt with her gf ? I MEAN THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION RATHER THAN BEING WITH ALEX) and waits for them to be alone to tease Alex about yet another bet. Now that we know Maggie is soon going to be introduced to the gang (2.12) I think Alex is not completely out at the DEO yet and that explains this adorable shoulder bumps (AND THE LEGS SYNC HOW GAY THAT SHIT WAS?), with that Alex is simply saying “I’m not ignoring you at my work place, I love having you around here, let me put my body against yours discretely so that I can show you just that, just how much I can’t wait to lose anymore bets”. I just love how their relationship is now established and we get to see this on tv every week now. And now I’m only waiting for Winn to glance at Alex like “OH-kay so you were into that Maggie person !” with a huge smile on his face because he’s so happy for his big sister. 

  • Blaise: You gonna marry her? Granger is the one out of seven billion?
  • Draco: It is. And I am. I've got to. It's like...sometimes...
  • Blaise: Speak.
  • Draco: Sometimes I think I'm not going to make it another day without getting a ring on that girl's finger and changing her fucking last name from Granger to Malfoy. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her, and I want it to start yesterday.
ft working in a restaurant
  • jellal, blinded era: hello! table or booth?
  • customers: booth please
  • jellal: right this way..
  • jellal: *feels a table* is this a booth?
  • customers: ...
  • meanwhile
  • gray: ugh ok what do u want
  • customers: what do you recommend?
  • gray: excuse me? i don't eat here
  • customers: are you serious?
  • gray: oh wait, i recommend a dish called "shut the fuck up"
  • meanwhile
  • gildarts, washing dishes: *automatically crashes dishes without even trying*
  • gildarts: lol dang it *takes another plate*
  • gildarts: *crash* dang it!!
  • meanwhile
  • levy: *voice at a speed of 180 miles per hour* alriiiiight.. table 3 wants the soup of the day with the special hold the onions, extra spice cooked well done with a side of fruit, no strawberries and the other one wants a salmon lightly seasoned and grilled. *leaves*
  • gajeel:
  • gajeel: *triggered the vietnam war flashback*
  • gajeel:
  • gajeel: chicken nuggets it is then
  • meanwhile
  • gildarts: we hVAE NO MORE PLATES!!!!1111
  • juvia: well, that's what you get for not being more gentle gilda-
  • juvia, seeing a fish ready to be served: *triggering aquatic feels*
  • juvia: oH MY GOD
  • juvia:
  • juvia: *serves the fish with a dead glare*
  • meanwhile
  • mirajane: do you know where all the strawberry cakes are?
  • lucy: i thought i saw erza holding them
  • mirajane: ...wheeeennnnn?
  • lucy: right.. now.
  • erza: *stops in tracks and innocently glances at them*
  • mirajane: *runs after erza* stOP HOARDING THE STRAWBERRY SHIT
  • meanwhile
  • jellal: *feels another table* how about this?
  • customers: *annoyed* we said BOOTH
  • jellal: you know what
  • jellal: you could sit on the floor for all i care
  • meanwhile
  • gray: dude where the fuck are the fishes!!
  • natsu: i don't know, the only thing in there were drinks!
  • happy, out of nowhere: i ate them
  • meanwhile
  • natsu: sting, we got fired..
  • natsu: again
  • sting: geez.. why don't you set the place on fire while you're at it??
  • sometimes later
  • fire siren, firefighters everywhere, sting crying on the ground: i didn't mean it literally for fucks sake!!
The SMH As Things I've Done Part II
  • Bitty: my straight cousin asked me if i had a boyfriend. not wanting to out myself but also not wanting to seem boring, i said yes and accidentally made up a whole backstory and person on the spot
  • Jack: went 15 years without diagnosing my severe ocd and depression because i was too lazy to talk to anyone about it
  • Shitty: wore a "the future is female" shirt around my conservative family just because i knew it would start drama
  • Lardo: told a boy i wasn't interested in that i wasn't looking for a relationship and then proceeded to complain about how much i wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend right in front of him
  • Holster: had an anxiety attack while watching the x files episode "all things" because i was so shocked that fox mulder was able to get laid and it was too much strain on my brain to handle
  • Ransom: cried during finals week because the concept that the carrot is actually the root was suddenly very overwhelming
  • Nursey: ended a presentation on the conflicts of europe in 2016 with "but i guess it's okay. well actually it's not and the european infrastructure is crumbling but, you know whatever."
  • Dex: became very angry at my best friend because she didn't tell me she had a new dog and i was offended that she didn't send me cute dog pictures
  • Chowder: started an all out war between my friends by asking the question "if a baby were grown in the stomach, would it be pooped or puked out"
  • Parse: worked out an entire conflict without actually ever talking to the person it concerned and just having other people do it for me
  • Prop Master: Can you get me a 5 gal bucket?
  • Me: With or without handles?
  • PM: With.
  • Me: With or without a spider?
  • PM: ... with spider. Don't lose it, I want to deliver it to them.
  • *later in an email*
  • To: the SM
  • Hi [SM], we delivered the bucket, wash kit, cubes, lanterns, and a small, live spider to the dressing room. If it dies and you can't find another, we'll catch one from prop storage.
  • Let me know if you have any questions,
  • PM
The Piscean Witch’s Tarot and Oracle Giveaway!

Last year was a tumultuous one for me, and I couldn’t have gotten through it without my amazing followers and now friends, so I want to give back to all of you. 

This giveaway will have THREE winners and each one will get something amazing. 

First Winner will receive the newly released Idiosyncradeck Tarot by @thecrackedamethyst, which I personally have been lusting over FOR A YEAR.

The Second Winner will receive the new Amethyst Oracle, another deck by @thecrackedamethyst.

And last but not least, the Third Winner will receive a Zodiac ring of their choosing from Zenned Out Jewelry.

Here’s how to enter:

1. Be a follower of mine.

2. Reblog this post, only once a day please, don’t spam your followers.

3. Reblog with your favorite tarot spread or tarot deck, and the tag #thepisceanwitchtarot

It’s that simple guys! The winner will be announced on February 4th, at 11:59 CST. It IS open for international as well. So best of luck to everyone!

Disclaimer: this is not in association with any of the stores mentioned, I will be purchasing everything with my own money.

Favorites from Kubos Spoon Interview
  • Kubo: I didn’t want this story to be one of Yuri trying to defeat Viktor - figure skating is all about how well you yourself can perform, and so I thought their relationship would be better if it was built on them mutually inspiring one another. 
  • Kubo: It turned out Viktor and Yuri can’t live without each other and can’t think about separation and had to revise their initial plans.
  • Kubo: The scene where Yuri and Viktor pair skate is something both the director and me always wanted to include as the last moment.
  • Q: Viktor’s response to Yuri’s skating in ep7 was quite something. (laughs) Kubo: I made sure to include many moments that lead up to it so that it didn’t feel out of place, and when the emotions were running high… I decided to strike. (laughs)
  • Kubo: For Viktor, Yuri’s someone who needs him in a new, fresh way. He’s incredibly happy about the bond they share. Viktor thought Yuri would need his presence from now on, too, so when he was told that they should “end it”, it came as a huge shock.
  • Kubo: I want Yurio to become someone who can be frank about needing and being needed by other people. In the last episode, Yurio was filled with strong emotions - he wished for Yuri to continue his skating career.
  • Q: What was the most memorable scene for you, or one you are glad to have seen animated? Kubo: The last scene of episode 7. The last scene of e7 influenced the flow of the show and left quite an impression. I’m glad I portrayed everything that lead up to it. I got some incredible feedback via Twitter on the ep7 scene. Fans from overseas kept thanking me for some reason. (laughs) I found it funny that overseas fans kept asking for a confirmation regarding ep7 scene - the Japanese fans didn’t seem to need any.

Thanks for Aki the Geek on Twitter for translating these! <3