i have red hair too, which is pretty awesome. and also horrible, sometimes, because being ginger affects so much more than the just the pigment of your hair. so anyways here are some facts about dex and his hair bc i can relate:
he’s so pale
he’s so pale
even when he kind of manages to get a little darker after a sunburn fades, he’s still paler than everyone else’s normal skin tone
he does not tan. ever.
yeah sure, he may work on a lobster boat all summer, but buddy, i promise you, he’s not gonna come out of it looking nice and bronze
(why do people write fics where he comes back from the summer with a killer tan??? no bro, he probably just looks like a lobster. it sucks)
his skin just slowly gets pinker until he has a terrible sunburn, and then sometimes if he’s lucky it will turn out a little tanner when it fades
he probably uses at least spf 50, lbr here
actually, nah probably higher than that if we’re being honest
and he has to apply it like every hour
ugh and oh my god, he probably gets splotchy sunburns!!!
SPLOTCHY SUNBURNS ARE THE WORST
basically you think you’ve put sunscreen everywhere and spread it evenly but NOPE
random blotches of your skin will just be bright red while the rest is ridiculously pale and you look like you have some sort of disease-ridden rash
it has probably happened on his face and it’s the saddest thing
he has freckles for dayssssss (especially after the summer because they come back in full force during that season)
in the most random places
some are on his lips and on the back of his knees and his elbows and just very odd places
its a never ending cycle of freckles fading while new freckles form
he kind of gets a tan through his freckles???
bc he has so many and as they fade they kind of blotch together and make him look tan, but when you look really close you’re just like, oh, those are just tiny dots bunched together, not the actual pigmentation of your skin
he has. SO MANY. freckles on his shoulders
if you are of the male specimen, you probably go out shirtless in the summertime, and the sun hits you really hard on your shoulders, and thus, so. many. freckles. there.
(this is literally the most prominent place of freckles for redhead boys. please ask my brother and all of my cousins)
“does the carpet match the drapes?” ;)
why do people ask this
he gets this all the time, and it’s not just from people hitting on him
PEOPLE JUST GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON???
and it’s super awkward
especially when they don’t match. bc um. a lot of times they don’t. just so you know.
“haha, firecrotch, huh?”
will wouldn’t find this funny even if it were accurate
back to the sunburn thing, it’s nice in the winter when he doesn’t get fried!! JUST KIDDING BC BLUSHING IS A THING
yeah anytime he gets remotely embarrassed or flustered, his face is the color of a tomato okay
even if he’s not actually uncomfortable, it still happens
“dex, nice shirt, man.” ➝ red face
“dude, nice assist!”➝ red face
*accidentally bumps into someone* ➝ red face
anytime nursey says anything ever, his face is red. i promise you this. i know this to be true
HE NEVER WEARS RED
or pink or orange, for that matter
(but i mean he goes to samwell so the red thing is kind of hard)
he unintentionally gravitates towards green and blue clothing bc his mom probably accidentally instilled in him that they compliment his hair as a child
this is so real. this is the realest, most relatable thing
going to samwell was probably super weird bc he had to start buying spirit wear and stuff and when he did, he realized he didn’t own any other red clothing
people always make irish jokes or assume he is irish, especially around st. patricks day
dex has no idea if he is irish
people always ask if another redhead they know is related to him
he has heard every “ginger” joke under the sun
no one has ever actually bullied him for it
but everyone makes the same jokes
will basically mouths the words as people say them bc he knows them so well at this point
he’s not actually bothered or offended, it’s just like… dude. he’s heard this before. you’re not being original
it’s very boring and a little irritating
but if he gets annoyed or doesn’t laugh people think he is a bad sport, so!!! he laughs them off even though he’s very disinterested and wants to tell them to maybe get some new material so they can actually say something remotely humorous next time
and he totally knows its not a big deal at all, bc some people have to deal with racist or homophobic jokes, and this doesn’t remotely compare. it’s just… very eye-roll inducing.
he gets horrible bruises for the stupidest shit, and sometimes just randomly and he’s not sure where they came from, bc ya gotta love that sensitive skin!!
oh and back to the ginger jokes thing, someone always makes a comment about that redhead temper!!
which is kind of unfortunate, bc dex kind of does have some temper issues
those jokes do not make him less angry either
(dex, seriously man. just chill for a sec)
wow this got really long and i could go on forever and ever but yeah basically this is the gist of it. also i’m aware some of this can apply to lots of people but anyways hooray for redheads!!
so there’s these two guys at my gym who like to wear color-coordinated t-shirts and basketball shorts and lift weights in sync. they both basically look like scruffy Tyler Hoechlin but a bit leaner and with dark eyes, and Tan Bro is a few inches taller. they tend to start lifting right as I hit the cardio section of my workout, which is boring and overlooks the free weights, so I’ve spent quite a bit of time watching them.
they warm up together. they lift together. they go to the water fountain together. if one of them finishes anything first, he waits for the other one before moving on. when they weight bars, they do that in sync too, each weighting one end simultaneously. sometimes they goof around and show off for each other. it’s ADORABLE.
are you shipping it yet? wait. there’s more.
one time they brushed hands while walking super close to each other, and jerked their arms away all NO HOMO BRO, but didn’t walk any further apart.
and this morning there were three workout benches open, and as Tan Bro & Pale Bro approached, someone sat down on the middle one. they literally stopped and looked at each other, like, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?? they talked it over. they did their first lift separately. they reconvened for further discussion. then the person sitting on the middle bench got up to switch out her weights, and they stole her bench so they could be next to each other.
yep. Tan Bro/Pale Bro OTfuckinP. just dig a hole to hell right under my goddamn feet tyvfm.