that tag will be specifically for notes and conversations about this game

Can’t go to Interactive Introverts because your parents said no/will say no? This is for you!

Hello everyone, my name is Paige, and I am really freaking good at convincing parents of things. I grew up with two very strict and overprotective (though loving and awesome) parents, and so I’ve had the perfect life experience to give you this advice. Buckle up.

Are you a fan of Dan and Phil, who is super excited about their oncoming tour, Interactive Introverts, but your parents won’t let you go? Here is how to convince them you should. (Most of these also work for other special trips, such as going to a concert.)

Please reblog this so it can reach all the people who need it :D

Step-by-step guide under the cut!

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Back to School Tips

for the ADHD student 

just a list of things that have helped me while struggling at community college:) hopefully these will apply for high school ADHDers too!

- don’t choose classes that you don’t love, unless absolutely necessary. uninteresting classes will kill your motivation so fast guys.

- when scheduling classes, DO NOT sign up for a class before 8am!! or even 9!! you’ll think you can do these things, but you just can’t, Nemo. 

- take it easy on the redbull. energy drinks, sugar, and any other processed foods and/or drugs isn’t the best for concentration or memory or functioning in general.

- speaking of memory, it is very important to get enough sleep, because that is when memories are consolidated. specifically, get enough deep (NREM) sleep; deep sleep is when explicit and factual memories are established, while REM sleep only consolidates procedural and emotional memories. Basically, if you’re gonna skip sleep and do homework, wake up early to study, don’t stay up late.

- and while we’re talking of sleep, keep in mind a couple things: 1) yes, sleep is important but 2) you will undoubtedly not get enough so don’t cry over it and 3) this is when coffee comes in.

- and i don’t mean Starbucks, because that heavenly, fantastic shit is for much richer people. get used to strong, black coffee because it’s cheap and works better and it’s cheap.

- make friends with your professors at the BEGINNING of the term. sometimes all you gotta do is start the conversation and your grade will magically become better.

- always have a healthy snack on hand, like almonds or dried fruit.

- find yourself a sanctuary. THIS MIGHT BE MY MOST IMPORTANT TIP. on campus, things are gonna be overwhelming and hard and tiring, and you’re gonna need something or someplace to return to, where you can study, cry, get shit done, nap, stair into the endless void call Life, etc. I usually find myself a hidden corner or table or couch in each hall to claim as my territory, then camp out in in it between (and sometimes during) classes.

- always have your earbuds.

- find a study partner, not a study group.

- don’t be afraid to ask for help from tudors, peers, professors or Student Disability services. I got SSD accommodations finally after 8 terms and it SAVED MY LIFE. usually, services for students with disabilities can get you extra time on tests, note taking help, and other stuff specific to your school.

- bring a fiddle toy, coloring sheets, chewing gun, or anything else to help you sit through class. and if someone comments on your fidget cube, glare or slap them or stab their eyes out. this is college, bitch. survival of the dog-eat-dog. or something.

- on that note, do whatever you need to get through class. and i don’t mean blackmail your professor. i do mean show up to class in pajamas, or create a crazy wall with tacked-up papers and red string and crossed-out codes, or bring a pot of tea to morning yoga. usually people don’t actually care about what you do or say or look like, so just be.

- yes, color-coding + sticky notes are always a good idea.

- take your notes on paper! we all know that computer note-taking is a gateway to distraction which leads to online impulse buys and obsessive research about probably time travel. or penguin migration habits. or what colors go best with your skin tones. just, write notes in a notebook.

- last tip! have a pre-game playlist. get hyped. energize yourself so you can make through the class, the day, the week, the term, the Life. find what inspires you and don’t forget it. 

Anyways, that’s all. this got a lot longer then i had planned. hope this is helpful to at least one person!! if you have any tips you wanna add, feel free:) good luck this year, my dudes. 

p.s. if you find this post helpful but you don’t have adhd but you wanna reblog anyway, chill. it’s okay. reblog anyway. just everyone be respectful and fucking nice and tag correctly. i really don’t care❤️❤️❤️

Punished

Summary: Very carefully and skillfully, you have been stealing from the Saviors for over a month now. Until one day you allow your ego to get the best of you and you challenge Negan to try and catch you, himself.
Prompt: I had one of the Hide and Seek prompts! I decided to put a twist on it and incorporate more of a cat and mouse type of game.
Word Count: 4,265
Pairing: Negan/Female Reader
Chapter: One-Shot
Warning: NSFW, Smut, Language
Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this took so long to complete! Thank you Ash for extending the deadline. Congrats on 2,000 followers! I’m not sure if I’m 100% happy with this but I hope you enjoy!
Tags: @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @negans-network

“God-fucking damnit!” You heard the loud, thunderous voice of the Saviors leader, Negan, roar out into the woods. “Someone better catch that little fucking thief, TODAY!”

Laughing to yourself, you hurried through the woods, maneuvering your way through the series of trees.

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Anders on possession, repeatedly, throughout the game: “He’s gone now. He’s part of me. It’s not like we can… have a conversation. I feel his thoughts as my own. Not even the greatest scholar could tell you where I end and he begins.” “It’s always me.” “Justice and I are one.” “We are the same.” “When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now.”

Justice on possession: “I am Anders.”

Flemeth on possession: “She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest.”

Wynne on possession: “I … felt it come, like a warm glow spreading throughout my body. It provided the spark of life that was fading from me, and I think that’s where it remains. A part of me, of my soul.”

“Is that why I can’t sense it?”

“I believe so. The spirit and I are not separate.”

“But Adrian said she saw it appear.”

Wynne allowed herself a private smile. “It may have seemed that way.”

random researcher from WOT2 on possession: It is widely believed that the Grim Anatomy’s focus is on demon possession, specifically how a demon, itself a tangible being, can enter into the mind of another and manipulate it. Here, the author observes the motor skills of a possessed wyvern. “It is not wearing the creature’s skin,” the notes read. “It has become the creature: its mind, its senses … its blood.”

“Tightrope Walking” - Part 2

“Tightrope Walking” - Part 2

(Part 1)

My Masterlist - Here

Bruce Wayne x Reader - Romantic Relationship

Jim Gordon x Reader - Father/Daughter Relationship

Jerome Valeska x Reader - Past Friendship

Word Count: 2868

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, talk of murder

Summary: With the return of Jerome, it’s time for your boyfriend, Bruce, to finally hear about your past.  

Author’s Note: This is going to be a 4 or 5 part story, and I hope I can do it justice! Please be patient with me! These are also all going to be a bit lengthier, but I will try my best to not make them insanely long! I also made Bruce and the reader college aged. Not too old though. Maybe 17 or 18? I figured it would make more sense this way.

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces (All Works, Specific Fandoms, or Specific Multi-Parts), please let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX


4 years ago, you’re parents disappeared. They were times you heard them with people who were from the bad parts of town. You knew how bad the foster system would be, so you packed a backpack full of essentials and went on your own. It wasn’t until after you ran away that you found out just who your parents really were. They worked for one of the gang leaders in a city about an hour out from Gotham.

You didn’t really have any destination in mind. You just wandered for a while until you saw a flyer on a newsstand for Haly’s Circus. It was a traveling circus that was setting up for a weekend of shows at the local fairgrounds. You were able to crack into your parent’s lockbox and take some cash, so you weren’t worried about money yet. Why not go to the circus? Maybe it can be a movie moment where you actually run away with them.

You didn’t expect that last part to ring true.

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Sing About Tragedy

**This didn’t show up in the tag last night, so I’m trying again**

Summary: Abby finds out Marcus’ name wasn’t on Clarke’s list and must deal with the consequences of what it means for her relationship with her daughter and with the man she loves. Set in some alternate S4 future after Abby returns from Becca’s lab and Marcus gets out of whatever mess he’s in with Azgeda. :/

Author’s Note: This is the angsty-est 8,000-word thing I’ve written in a long time, but I just couldn’t let that list plot go without exploring the idea that Abby might find out he wasn’t mentioned. Don’t hate me. Cry with me instead.  

Pairings: Kabby, and hella implied Raveric/Puppy Mechanic because I’m TRASH NOW AND THE TRASH CAN IS WHERE I RESIDE

Abby smiled as she moved through Medical, taking care to keep her steps as quiet as she could. For the moment, her only patient was Octavia Blake – freshly returned from another brush with death, which seemed to be a talent of hers – and two members of their camp had hardly left her side for the day’s duration.

Bellamy had set up a chair next to his sister’s cot, sat down, and proceeded not to move an inch for at least three hours. Octavia had yet to awaken – she’d been bruised pretty badly, and one of her legs had been fractured – this was, of course, factoring out the stab wound she’d sustained from Echo. With her hair fanning out in all directions like a raven waterfall, she appeared the most peaceful Abby had ever seen her. No matter how ardently she reassured her older brother that she was going to be fine, he seemed determined to be there the moment the anesthetic wore off.

“They’re both asleep,” Jackson noted, his gaze drifting from Bellamy to his companion as his lips formed a wry smile. “Didn’t you offer to let them know when she woke up?”

“I did,” she sighed, a slow quirk at the corners of her lips forming a mirror image of Jackson’s expression. Of all the things that had surprised her with the oncoming nuclear meltdown, this wouldn’t have come close to making the list. “They didn’t listen.”

Jackson’s smile widened. “As long as they’re resting,” he said, his focus switching to the test tubes of Nightblood they had managed to manufacture in Becca’s lab. Or rather, the person standing next to them, drumming her fingers absentmindedly against the countertop. Jackson asked permission with a glance, and Abby nodded. There was nothing more he could do for Octavia: now it was a waiting game to see how she felt when she awakened.

Abby watched as Raven met Jackson with a smile, and they began an animated discussion about the contents on the counter in front of them. At one point, she thought she even heard Raven laugh – a welcome change from her demeanor only weeks ago. Jackson, it seemed, had that effect on her. Thank you, Jackson.

Abandoned by her assistant, Abby’s gaze drifted to the man sitting in a chair on the opposite side of Octavia’s cot. Marcus had tried to find things to do in Medical for the past few hours as the sky darkened, for what Abby guessed was a two-pronged reason: to spend time with her and to be there for Octavia. The majority of his day had been spent in meetings; time with Clarke, Jaha, and others. Now, it seemed, the steady flow of duties had slowed to a trickle, and he had time to spare in awaiting Octavia’s recovery.

He hadn’t had time to tell her the specifics of what happened, but it was obvious enough that he and Bellamy had thought she was dead. From the weight in his tone and the regret in his eyes, she guessed their last conversation hadn’t been a pleasant one. It was a sharp, white-hot pain Abby knew all too well; when she had been in space and her daughter on the ground, regret and grief had almost swallowed her whole, sanded down the edges of her will to keep fighting for what was right.

Thankfully, she thought, they managed to salvage their relationship and come to an understanding about what happened to her father. To realize Marcus had gone through a similar stage, all while being captured by Azgeda…it was almost too much for her to bear. Octavia might not have been his daughter, but he certainly loved her like one: his relief at seeing her alive was enough to prove it.

As if her soft stare was enough to wake him, Marcus blearily lifted his head and found Abby looking at him from across the room. Instinctively, they both smiled. In the past she might have been embarrassed for him to find out she’d been watching him sleep. After all, it was an intimate thing – in sleep, he appeared weightless, unburdened, calmness and tranquility having filled in gaps where stress and anxiety vacated – and while she couldn’t say she’d never done it before they were together, it meant something different now. Every touch, every glance, every word was a treasure.

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erisintheclouds  asked:

hey! i love ur blog a lot & i know u have some aussie mods so i was wondering if u could help me? do u know of any physical places to buy stim toys in aus? specifically tangles, squishies, chewies, & textured (bumpy/rigid) things? alternatively, do u have any good online shops/links that ship to aus?

Thank you so much for the compliment! Yes, we can absolutely help. Mod Rainbow and I (Mod K.A.) are both Aussie and invested in trying to make stim toys more accessible for Aussies - part of the reason I started this blog was because few people at the time were talking about places Aussies could buy stim toys that didn’t involve dollar conversion and international shipping costs.

We tag by country of toy origin (not countries to which toys ship) so you might wish to check out our Australia tag for locally-sourced toys. We’re now up to twenty pages of posts! Note that I am Victorian (regional Western Victoria, close to Melbourne) so that a lot of my resources tend to skew Victorian. Mod Rainbow is based in QLD, and I’ll ask them to add to the post if they have any local offline sources that I haven’t covered.

But, to answer your question more specifically, I’ll go by store and list the things they sell. Links below go to that store’s tag or a post featuring that item. Please note that it might be worth checking on the store’s tag, as all these stores stock many more stimmy things that don’t quite meet your brief for the toys you’re after - everything from bouncy balls and poppers to wooden puzzles and bubble wands.

Also note that dollar stores right now are stocking spinners and knock-off fidget cubes as well as the usual range of hedge balls/hedge creatures, bouncy balls and knock-off slinkies. There’s lots of things available in the toy, stationery and party sections, often for inexpensive prices.

First, offline (or offline and webstore) Australian stores:

Toyworld

(Store locations: Australia-wide, mostly on the East Coast.)

Mind Games

(Store locations: Victoria, Tasmania, QLD)

  • Tangles: $10 AUD for Tangle Jr and Tangle Jr Textured

Queen Victoria Market

(Located in the Melbourne CBD, Victoria.)

Daiso

(Store locations: Melbourne and Sydney.)

K-Mart

(Store locations: Australia-wide. Also allows online purchasing.)

Sensory Oasis for Kids

(North Altona, Melbourne. Also allows online purchasing with flat-rate shipping in Australia for $9.95 AUD.)

Smiggle

(Store locations: Australia-wide. Some items for sale online.)

  • Mini Snake Puzzle: $7 AUD (often on sale at 2 for $7 AUD)
  • Large Snake Puzzle: $14 AUD (often on sale for $7 AUD
  • Serpent Puzzle: $14 AUD (often on sale for $7 AUD. Note: not available online, but I have still seen these available in offline stores).

Kidstuff

(Store locations: Australia wide, mostly on the East Coast.)

Second, Australia-based webstores:

Sister Sensory

Source for: Chewables, Tangles, Fidgets

No shipping price listed on their website, so it seems they calculate based on weight.

The Therapy Store

Source for: Chewables, Tangles, Fidgets

No shipping price listed on their website, so it seems they calculate based on weight. 

Skillbuilders

Source for: Chewables, Tangles, Fidgets

Shipping is calculated based on the value of your order. $0-$25 is $8.25 AUD shipping; $25-$50 is $14 AUD. I do not recommend this as a good way of determining shipping, since it’s possible via this metric to purchase two chew pendants, which are light, and pay $14 AUD to ship both when they’d both fit in Australia Post’s under 250 gram weight bracket.

Third, international sources:

Stimtastic

Source for: Chewables

Despite being located in the US, I really recommend Stimtastic as a source for chewables. This is because Australian stim toy/OT stores only tend to stock Chewigem and ARK Therapeutic chewables, which are usually priced around $20-$22 AUD plus shipping (usually around $10 AUD … thanks, Australia Post). Stimtastic’s chewables are $10 USD or less, so even by the time you pay dollar conversion and international shipping, you’re still often saving money. Depending on the chewable in question, sometimes you can even get two items for the same price as one purchased here in Australia.

(Because of issues of weight, there’s other items that I wouldn’t purchase from Stimtastic and would try to source here in Australia instead, but the chewables are too well priced not to purchase from this store, even with international shipping. Plus the shipping is quick!)

Banggood

Source for: Squishies

Most things have free standard international shipping. Despite shipping from China, I’ve had everything I’ve purchased so far arrive in three weeks or less. There’s a range of squishies available here, from only a few dollars each to $10 AUD and more for the larger, higher quality squishies. Not paying shipping makes their offerings that much more affordable and I’ve had no problems with the items I’ve bought.

eBay

Source for: Squishies, Tangles, Spinners, Knock-off Fidget Cubes

A great many of these things also have free standard international shipping from China, Hong Kong, the Philippines. Please note that quality varies widely and most of these things (especially the cheaper free shipping options) are knock-offs. (Check out this post of mine about the knock-off eBay Tangles: they work just like a Tangle Creations-packaged Tangle, but they’re lighter, looser and clickier.) For stimmers without a lot of money, though, these things are well worth checking out, especially if you don’t mind something clickier and louder (fidget cubes particularly).

If you need more help with finding sources closer to your state, please let us know. I’ve probably forgotten something, but my wrist is starting to hurt so I’ll end this one here! Being Victorian, I have more resources than many other Australian stimmers, but availability varies so widely from state to state, at times it’s like being in another country. I know a lot of what I take for granted just isn’t available elsewhere.

- Mod K.A.

ATLA analysis: Azula
Thesis

Azula embodies neglect and jealousy, more specifically, jealousy of her older sibling Zuko, who took everything she ever wanted away from her. Starting from her childhood, she was an attention-starved individual who sought love and recognition from her parents and friends.

● Childhood

Azula was an ordinary child. A spoiled brat perhaps, but nothing that out of the ordinary. Nearly all information about her childhood was presented through Zuko flashbacks, which are all biased as they were from his point of view. Even there, however, Azula was shown enjoying a game of tag with Zuko and frolicking on the beach. As a small side note, she never once lied in any of the flashbacks, which clearly shows some bias on Zuko’s end.

Justifying her normalcy requires comparing Azula’s actions to that of typical kids today.

She would bully her friends, ordering them around, pushing them over (Ty Lee doing flips), and playing pranks (burning apple on Mai’s head). Younger children tend to form groups where one is the leader and would order the rest around; Azula assumed that position. Younger children also play pranks on one another, possibly getting the other in trouble; ever heard of truth or dare, or children strangling themselves to get high? Whereas the fire on Mai’s head may seem extreme to some, recall that fire in the Fire Nation is NOT considered dangerous. Jeong Jeong, the only one who seems to think so, is a fugitive.

Azula would taunt Zuko endlessly, continually showing that she was superior to him in as many ways of possible (practice session in front of Azulon, prank with Mai and burning apple). This is typical sibling rivalry, where each continually attempts to one up the other, possibly getting the other in trouble with the parents. The exception, taunting Zuko about father being ordered to kill him, is explained further on.

Azula would also aggravate the turtleducks, her version of feeding them being chucking a piece of food. Kids are known for slowly torturing insects to death out of curiosity. Think earthworms and ants being pulled apart and wiggling around, or ants being burned to death with a magnifying lens.

Azula burned the Earth Kingdom doll she received as a gift from Iroh. Kids destroy toys all the time, putting them in their mouths, tossing them against walls, bashing them against another toy, stealing another kid’s toy and breaking it. Again, recall that fire in the Fire Nation is not considered dangerous.

There were four instances that were questionable regarding Azula’s stability as a child. Two of them dealt with death; her remarks about Lu Ten’s death affecting Iroh and Azulon being replaced, as well as taunting Zuko about Ozai being ordered to kill him. At the age she is portrayed at, kids do not fully comprehend the concept of death. This is why there is such a movement to censor the words kill and death today as well as having villains go the Disney demise route. Then, looking at her actions while ignoring her disregard for death, it would appear that she was simply repeating what her father, who favors her over Zuko, says. If nothing else, Azula sneaking into the room to spy on the conversation with Azulon indicates she continually follows him and is always in the loop. These opinions, then, can easily be attributed to echoing Ozai’s sentiments.

The final two questionable instances were when Azula taunted Zuko about mother being gone and her smirk while Zuko’s face underwent an extreme makeover. At both of these times, Ursa is no longer around. Ursa abandoned Azula for Zuko and she angrily resents Zuko for it (more on that later). Her taunting Zuko about Ursa’s disappearance was a form of payback. Though it did seem extreme, kids can be pretty insensitive as well when they’re jealous. This insensitivity is pretty normal. The smirk on her face post agni kai, on the other hand, represents her resent of Zuko for having Iroh’s favor. Zuko got into the war room by Iroh’s graces and screwed up; to her, this was a form of payback and one-upping her sibling. He got in trouble for doing something that she wanted. At this point, with her mother’s supervision nonexistent for an extended period of time, Azula finally crossed the line. Even with fire not being nearly as dangerous in the Fire Nation, knowledge of how it can permanently maim a person is probably commonplace.

Therefore, so long as Ursa was around, Azula was a normal spoiled brat who was jealous of her older sibling. She wanted affection and attention, but was instead abandoned and betrayed, leaving her at the whims of her less-than-ideal father with no one to save her.

● Ursa

The beginning of Azula’s mental breakdown starts with her mother, Ursa. Azula, starved for attention and love, was jealous of Zuko for stealing her mother from her. Ursa obviously favors the elder sibling. At one point, Ursa even exclaims “what is wrong with that child?” while Azula was clearly still within earshot. While Azula may have over dramatized it, admitting that her mother saw her as a monster in the Beach was the first visible sign that Azula really cared and was deeply affected. She was hurt that Ursa favored and chose Zuko, especially since Ursa abandoned her to save Zuko’s life. She was left then with her father as a mentor, while Zuko still had Iroh to fall back on. No matter how much she excelled at firebending, her mother only had eyes for the brother.

● Ozai

Mommy wouldn’t pay attention to her, so Azula looked to Daddy. Ozai only paid attention to her when she displayed her firebending talents, going so far as to actually praise her and put down her brother (born lucky, lucky to be born). She grasped onto this show of affection, false though it may be, and did everything she could to please the only person who would look at her. This is what started her obsessive quest for perfection, causing her to practice her bending at a level far beyond what Zuko did (see how Zuko trained with Iroh in season 1 ep 1 and compare it to when she was first shown bending lightning).

This incredible dedication to hard work and to please her father went on throughout her life. When her father told her to go after Zuko and Iroh, she did so without question. Not only did she bring them both back, she went far beyond what he asked for. She converted Zuko, took down Ba Sing Se, and defeated the Avatar. She even stopped the initial invasion plan before it began and prepared an intricate plan to protect her father on the Day of Black Sun (putting her own life on the line) in the off chance that another would be mounted. The level of devotion she showed her father was made even more apparent with her reaction to Ozai leaving her behind in the Fire Nation on the day of Sozin’s Comet. She finally developed a plan that he approved of, one where she could finally spend some time TOGETHER with her father. And yet, despite her efforts, he abandoned her in the Fire Nation, the same way he abandoned her when Zuko first came home after supposedly defeat the Avatar. Here she was, going above and beyond the call of duty, and yet the prodigal son Zuko is the one expected at Ozai’s right hand side while she had to be invited to sit on his left.

By the end of the series, the only person Azula had left was her father, and even he abandoned her. And although she denied it, Azula knew that Ozai didn’t truly love her. That Zuko found yet another person (Katara) to care for him while she had no one, not even Ozai, was what truly defeated her.

On a slight side note, it’s interesting to point out that the younger siblings of this family are jealous of the older ones. Ozai, the younger brother, was jealous of Iroh, the elder. It was Iroh who had Azulon’s favor, it was Iroh who was sent to war while Ozai was stuck at home, it was Iroh who had the right of succession even after Lu Ten’s death. And if Iroh’s admittance that that even he may not have been able to defeat Ozai is any indication, Ozai was the more talented firebender. This may have indirectly caused Ozai’s resentment of Zuko and his favor of Azula, and how Ozai was indeed planning to kill Zuko.

● Iroh

As far as the role of mentors go, Iroh was the least prominent of the three. Azula didn’t even seem to like her uncle, though that may have been influence on Ozai’s part (see jealousy in the above paragraph). She would continually make demeaning nicknames for him, each indicating a negative trait that she, or Ozai, saw in him. However, there were indications of her jealousy of Iroh favoring Zuko, yet again another who preferred the elder over the younger. First, there were the gifts sent by Iroh back home. Azula got a doll, a trinket that could be bought off the street, while Zuko got a knife, THE knife of the defeated general. Extremely jealous, she began taunting Zuko about his knife-play, making snide remarks about Iroh’s abilities, and at one point even stealing the knife for herself. She wanted it. She wanted Iroh to recognize her. And yet, Iroh has never been showing making an attempt at being a mentor for her, going so far as to say that she needed to be taken down. Strike down another loving mentor.

● Zuko

Despite being the primary cause of her jealousy, Zuko was nonetheless an important figure in Azula’s life. Their relationship was pretty close (see them frolicking in the flashbacks) and they seemed to know each other extremely well. Zuko could have been the one to show affection for her, to be her pillar of support. However, her jealousy of him caused Azula to push him away. Zuko never saw past the mask that Azula put on or her cries for help and instead opted to push back and resent Azula. His banishment, in a strange way, was a form of abandoning her. No longer was he there to keep Azula company. No longer would Iroh be there either, who was stolen by Zuko.

At the end of season 2, Zuko came back to Azula. That someone came back to her was monumental. She actually planned to GIVE Zuko credit for taking down the Avatar BEFORE she suspected that the Avatar was alive. Proof of this is when the siblings were introduced by Li and Lo; Azula was given credit for taking down Ba Sing Se, but NOT for taking down the Avatar. At that point, she believed the Avatar dead and yet did not claim credit; she had not yet asked Zuko about the Avatar possibly being alive. This was her way of showing her thanks to Zuko for coming back to her. The excuse she made in the bedroom was a lie, a means of masking her appreciation of Zuko and throwing off his suspicions of her true feelings. In the Beach, Azula even offered to help Zuko with his internal turmoil. She showed compassion and a willingness to help him with his mental struggle, even going so far as to decrease her value in the eyes of her father so that Zuko could have what he dreamed of. And yet, despite it all, Zuko did nothing for her.

In the Beach, Azula first showed a chink in her mask about her mother, but Zuko never tried to help her; he was completely ignorant. That was an obvious cry for help. He went so far as to betray her once more, deciding to join the Avatar. She did not expect this. His betrayal meant that he would reveal to Ozai that SHE had lied about the death of the Avatar, something that is completely not in her favor. This would mark the first time that she disobeyed Ozai.

This betrayal meant a lot to Azula and was a severe blow to her psyche. Instead of capturing Zuko or converting him as she did in season 2, her objectives as the pursuer changed to killing him. In the Boiling Rock, she left him for dead. In the Southern Raiders, after losing Mai and Ty Lee as well, she started losing her mind and was rather…enthusiastic about killing her brother (I’m about to celebrate being an only child). Here was someone that she trusted and yet betrayed her in the end. She couldn’t get that trust from her mother, father, uncle, and apparently not even her own brother.

● Mai and Ty Lee

Along with Ozai, these two (and Zuko for a little while) were part of the small group that Azula trusted. This tight group consisted of people she thought would love, show affection for, and pay attention to her. Though possible, it is unlikely that Azula chose these two for their combat abilities. Considering their age when they first met, the likelihood that Mai was a master of all things sharp and pointy and Ty Lee the master of acrobatics and pressure points was extremely improbable. She chose these two, each unique in their own way, to be her companions.

However, being the bratty kid that she was and an alien to affection, Azula was unable to properly show affection herself. The self-appointed leader of her posse, Azula bullied the girls around, using fear to get her way (pushing Ty Lee over after getting upstaged). In way, Azula felt like she OWNED the two girls, that the two were hers and hers alone. When Mai started gravitating towards Zuko, Azula began to torment and tease Mai about it (flaming apple), unable to accept losing another to her brother.

Nonetheless, Azula trusted these two implicitly with her life; failure by either of the two at Ba Sing Se may have very well led to her death. She tested their loyalties once and only once; back when she brought the two back into her fold. With Ty Lee, it was to choose between Azula and Ty Lee’s dream of the circus. With Mai, it was to choose between Azula and her family (baby brother). After that, she completely trusted them with everything. She trusted both to watch her back. She trusted Mai to choose her over Zuko, even allowing the couple’s relationship to progress. She trusted Ty Lee to stand by her after Mai’s betrayal.

It wasn’t like they didn’t have fun together though. Like normal girls their age, they all found pleasures in simply having fun, like at the beach. There was a sense of kinship and understanding amongst them. And it wasn’t like Mai and Ty Lee didn’t get any perks for being with Azula; though Ty Lee’s family situation is unknown, Mai’s family did rather well in New Ozai (until Bumi of course) with Azula’s influence.

After Zuko betrayed her in season 3, Azula’s trust became extremely fragile. Even after being trusted in the Boiling Rock, Mai betrayed the trust Azula bestowed upon her. How badly this affected Azula suddenly became visible; her world suddenly came crashing down and she lost her grip on reality. She was betrayed AGAIN. Someone had left her AGAIN, and worst of all, it was to choose Zuko over her, just like mother did. Her control slipped. For the first time in her life, her mask shattered. She became emotional, irrational, distressed, and prepared to actually attack Mai in a fit of desperation. And then Ty Lee betrayed her. Both friends, both whom she trusted completely with her very life, betrayed her. Chose someone else over her. This loss of control illustrates how much she needed them and how much they meant to her.

● The Last Straw

Everyone left her. Azula was left only with her father. And when Ozai decided to leave her behind, Azula’s trust in anyone and anything was gone. She was alone in the world; no one needed or cared about her. This level of mistrust caused her to start analyzing everyone for their faults and weaknesses, believing everyone to have something against her and expecting them to betray her, just like her mother, father, brother, and friends had. Thus began the banishing frenzy, banishing perhaps the only people left still loyal to her (Dai Lee). She even banished the servants meant to groom her, forcing her to cut her own hair. Azula’s imbalanced bangs then became reflection of her inner state of being.

Her loneliness was further illustrated during the coronation ceremony; there was no one there aside from the sages to witness the moment. She was the crown Fire Lord that no one wanted, ruler over no one.

Then Zuko, the one who took everyone away from her, who stole what she wanted in life, appears in front of her and demands the mantle of Fire Lord. Now, Azula had one thing left that Zuko wanted; the throne. She wanted to take that away from him, take whatever she could, and challenged him to an Agni Kai.

During the fight, unlike her earlier ones with her brother, she began to lose control of her breathing while Zuko remained calm and composed. With Zuko matching her move for move and an even battle being fought, Zuko was unknowingly again stealing one more thing from his sister. She had always been better than him, had always worked harder than him, and yet here he was matching her in firebending, taking away one of the last things she owned. Challenged to attack with lightning, Azula then sees Katara and comes to a realization. There WAS something else she could take away from Zuko. She could take away his friend. As such, she fired her lightning at Katara. It is worth noting that during the generation of lightning, the second arc of energy was somewhat inverted and unorthodox. That Zuko jumped in the way may or may not been expected, but Azula’s target had clearly shifted to Katara, ignoring the moaning and struggling Zuko and choosing to attack the waterbender. By the time she fired her third blast of lightning (the 2nd charge up was obscured), her entire lightning generation sequence was completely inverted; the arcs were moving in the opposite direction. This inverted display shows how lost she really was, how her sanity was completely slipping, how her world became twisted upside down and inside out.

Upon getting chained up by Katara, Azula bears witness to Katara healing Zuko and their mutual thanks for saving each other. Here she was, imprisoned, defeated, and alone with no one around to help her, abandoned by even her own father, while Zuko has found yet another friend, yet another person who cared about him to help him up when he fell. Desperate to eliminate the image in front of her, she began to breathe fire, hyperventilating while doing so, trying to wipe the scene in front of her from reality. But by this time, she had been defeated; her breathing control completely lost, her mind shattered as she went into a spasming fit and wailed in her mental agony and torment.

Azula was so alone that even closure was not allowed her. She was so unimportant that she wasn’t even mentioned after her defeat; even Ozai got a prison cell visit. Simply put, no one cared.

Conclusion

From the beginning of Azula’s introduction, it appeared that she had it all. To Zuko, it seemed like she had everything he ever wanted, that she was the perfect and ideal being. She was born lucky, he was lucky to be born. Ironically, it was the complete opposite. Zuko was the lucky one; he had people to care for him, to watch over him, people that he trusted and that trusted him. Azula had no such people; they all abandoned her and her trust.

It wasn’t Zuko that was truly jealous of his sister, it was Azula who was jealous of him. And while Zuko whined and complained about his situation, Azula kept it bottled up inside, well hidden behind the mask that she showed everyone, while she slowly spiraled into insanity.

Azula is the sympathetic villain, an extreme case of child neglect. Whether or not she is guilty of her actions during the war, Azula was, in the end, just a child looking for acceptance and love.

i. title: détente

ii. fandom: overwatch

iii. characters/ships: jack morrison, ; gen, background ships, might be reaper76 if i make this a thing but rn it’s shipless

iv. warnings: uh, discussion of ptsd/panic attacks/nightmares, but like vaguely? like nothing triggery really but if youre sensitive, brief mention of alcohol, more specific champagne and the pop of it setting off a panic attack

v. tags: dogs, im using forty nine for jack’s age bc the timeline’s all over and i put 45 - 55 in a rng and got forty nine, angela ziegler has #connections, this is five pages and just short of 2k words wtf, tenatively, bonnie the dog, therapy dog, this is jack centered tbh but if i write more hana’s getting a cat, idk if i truly like this

vi. summary: “Uh,” Jack says, the stumble coming out before he can stop it. “That’s a dog.”

“It sure is,” Angela says agreeably, depositing it in his arms and sipping her coffee. “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s June,” he deadpanned, as the wriggling little thing laps at his visor.

vii. notes: i wrote this in an hour and i dont know if i truly like it but bonnie the dog is a thing now. i literally just listened to alberta by eric clapton while writing this. will be on ao3 in half an hour. @snowsheba​ saw these hcs that inspired this first. 

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Late Night Grinding | Zen/Hyun Ryu x Reader

Rating: General
Word Count: 1,161
Genre: Fluff | Slice-of-life
Summary: Zen comes home late to find you still awake while on your phone and completely misunderstands when you tell him you were “grinding”.

When Zen comes home after a long day at work, he’s surprised to see the lights still open at this ungodly hour. Immediately, he assumes that you’re still awake and he prepares himself to gently scold you on how you should be getting proper sleep for your health; however, when he calls out to you and is greeted with nothing but silence instead, Zen doesn’t know what to think. He can only assume that you’ve already gone to bed and just forgot to turn off the lights.

The young man shrugs off his coat and drapes it over the back of a chair, too tired to properly put it away. He walks to the shared bedroom, cautiously opening the door so that he doesn’t wake you in case you really were already asleep. Once Zen peeks into the room though, he finds you still very much awake, sitting upright on the bed while leaning against the headboard, phone in hand with its screen illuminating your face in the otherwise dark room.

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200+ Followers Giveaway!!

This is the first giveaway i have ever done, so bare with me :) I promised that when i reached 200 followers on my blog i would post a giveaway. I have been sick the past week, so i am posting it now! 

Prizes:

  • A Tarot card reading by me - It will be in depth, lengthy and a general reading. I have a specific spread planned out, that you can see (here). This will be emailed to you in PDF form - because i don’t trust tumblr with sending long messages. Also, it will come full with pictures, card names, and mundane/practical advice.
  • Two Books - Cassandra’s Psychic Party Games by Cassandra Eason, and Dragonclaw, Book 1: The Witches of Eileanan by Kate Forsyth.
  • A small Notebook of Herbal Correspondences - this will be a physical notebook, hand written by me with herbal correspondences in it and some small herbal spells as the back. All the herbs listed in the book will be common and accessible and Safe to use.
  • Altar Cloth - This is not made by me, but i have a large collection of altar cloths and would love to give one away! You can find an image of it (here)
  • Pack of assorted Tea Light candles - I have so so many of these, in a range of flavours, as well as white - You can see more about that (here)
  • Travelling Witch Kit - This will contain a notebook (blank), birthday candles, small packets of herbs, salt, a small cloth (napkin size), stones hand-painted by me that represent the elements including Spirit, and a small box of matches. If you win, please let me know if you want God and Goddess representational stones also.
  • HandWritten Letter - A letter, written by me, to you. It will be personalised, positive and generally is in the giveaway to make your day. I’m hoping it will be something that you can read when you are sad or feeling not quite yourself, and it will encourage positivity.
  • Charm Bag/Jar - A jar/bag made up of your choosing. The spell will be performed and written by me and the jar/bag will be sent to you in the mail. Please let me know if you are a secretly practicing witch and would like it disguised as something else. I will contact the winner and converse with them about this.
  • Optional: A personalised Spell written by me - no matter what it is for. I will also send this via PDF, it will be original and look aesthetically pleasing, and also very practical for your personal path. - I know not all of you who will be entering this giveaway practice Witchcraft, so this is a prize you can choose.

Rules!

If you don not follow these, you will be disqualified.

  • I encourage strongly that you are following me, as it is a giveaway for my followers. I will be checking.
  • Reblogs count as entries, Likes do not, although they can be used to keep tabs on the post. Please do not spam your followers, but you may reblog as many times as you like. Every single reblog this gets, i will write your blog name on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. On the day the entries are closed, i will pull out a name and they will be the winner! (Video will be posted of me doing this on the day)
  • This is an INTERNATIONAL giveaway. You also have to be willing to give me your postal address, so i can send you the goodies!
  • You must be over 18 years old to enter (I don’t want any parental/legal issues)
  • Giveaway blogs (So if you only reblog giveaways and competitions) will be excluded.
  • This giveaway is not at all associated with Tumblr
  • Please DO NOT tag as a giveaway, freebie, or competition - however you can tag devinaswitchyhaven. Otherwise the giveaway will be taken down.
  • Winners will be contacted via tumblr and have 72 hours to reply, or another winner will be chosen.
  • More prizes may be added, depending on the amount of notes this gets - Every 1000 notes, a new prize will be added.

Entries close JULY 1st 2015, EST. 12AM. 

Good luck! Feel free to message me any questions you may have about the giveaway! 

He Tian has such a cat-like personality. I do have a cat and the more I look at He Tian’s behaviour/the way he schemes things, the more I wonder if he’s actually my cat in human form lol.

You know what my cat does when he wants to gain my attention? Oh you’d say he probably rubs his tiny cute nose against my leg and purrs like normal cats would do? Nah fam, that’s rare. He goes and does something really stupid to annoy me. Closes a door that shouldn’t be closed, bites electric wires (good god), shuts my laptop, scratches the carpet, chews plants, hops on my desk and pushes my things over the edge and I have to fucking speed and stop him before he breaks something. He always has this smug look in his eyes, tail swaying around, so proud he’s a troublemaker. But if I don’t indulge his deeds and practically ignore him, he might even come at me and bite me randomly. Not too hard, but hard enough to startle me. Look, I’m here. Why aren’t you giving me the attention I deserve. Always look at me. I will bite you more if you don’t pet me.

So yeah. Now let’s consider He Tian’s behaviour. Do people constantly shower him with attention? Yes they do, most of the time. Girls, he always has a harem of school girls who are drooling after his looks and his wow-so-endless abilities. It makes him feel good, but maybe not as much as one might think(!). Still, he enjoys showing off, a lot. Talking about himself. Building a cool image of himself. Sucking in that appreciation. He feels important.

(shit sorry I talk so much)

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Why Kiyoshi/Kuroko Should be a Thing

I’m writing this mainly for soumatsuoka though I did notice that today is 7/11 So happy KiyoKuro Day!! sorry kikuro shippers

Anyways, my main intention is to rationalize what was initially a crackship with little basis, into something that’s the least bit coherent please ship this with me my arms are getting tired from rowing solo. I’m a proud multishipper, so keep in mind that this is only meta for KiyoKuro and not against any other ship.

tagging people who might be interested in this– jesting, duckiesandlemons, dostmotherknowyou, i wish i knew more kiyokuro shippers off the top of my head ;o;

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Service with a Smile CH 5

A/N: So this chapter is more of a transition chapter- one that will make the next chapter go more smoothly. All  the same, I hope you enjoy it! I’ll try to get CH6 up as soon as possible, but I currently have a lot on my plate, so we’ll see how that goes. :) Thank you for your patience!

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4

Next: CH 6


Astrid chose not to dwell on any of the events that took place the night prior. As she sat in front of her room’s vanity mirror applying a thin stripe of eyeliner, she was still putting effort into avoiding that particular subject. When her parents poked their heads into her room to question her about her evening at the Haddock’s- seeing as she slept almost as soon as she got back to the hotel- she responded with ‘fine,’ and continued the conversation by discussing other matters.

Perhaps it wasn’t the most effective tactic to use. Astrid was most definitely a girl who favored confrontation over cowardice, but she wasn’t technically utilizing the latter. She already attempted to confront He Who Shall Not Be Named about his particular attitude towards his parents’ remarriage, and that went absolutely wonderfully. Having already tried that, she decided to disregard the situation as a whole. It wasn’t her problem, anyway- and it wasn’t like she needed another thing to worry about and the extra stress that it came with.

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Beth Greene: Every Sheriff Needs Her Posse

Lately I’ve been thinking that Lilly Chambler will return. We never saw her death onscreen, and going by TV rules and TWD rules, if you don’t see the death, it didn’t happen/the character could be brought back. I mean, they brought Sam back who was only in one episode from s4 for the season 5 premiere. Background characters matter. If we don’t see a body, there’s always a chance.
Putting this under a read more since this is going to be long.

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How to: Post a good starter

It’s happened to the best of us. You join a new RP, set up the blog, cross everything off the checklist, and get to the last item – post a starter. Only you have no idea what to post, because your character is brand new, and hasn’t done anything in the game yet. Or sometimes, even when your character is established, you find yourself posting the dreaded “I’m so bored” starter, which can be really difficult for other players to respond to. 

So how to avoid this fate? Let’s find out:

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Hatoful Boyfriend Warnings Masterlist

Hatoful Boyfriend is a great game, except that it tends to delve into some very interesting territory. Proper discussion of what this territory involves can’t really be done without massive spoilers - which is a problem, because a lot of it could be upsetting to an unwitting player.

This post is an attempt to list all of the potential major triggers in Hatoful Boyfriend and its sequel with as few spoilers as possible. This means that all of these warnings are presented with zero context. You’ll just know that these topics come up, not why or how or when.

Note: Only read the list for the next route you’re doing to minimise being spoilt for other routes! You can use Ctrl+F to find the route’s name and dodge the others. Also, this post itself has no trigger warnings tagged so that those who need the warnings can actually find it. Keep that in mind!

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Tarot Drama

First, I would like to thank everyone who has been reading, dealing with, or is involved with the recent tarot drama (June 5-7, 2015). It’s never easy to figure out what’s going on when there’s so much scattered information. I also apologize for the length of this post. I have a lot of thoughts on this and I want to articulate it all here.

Now let me explain.

This whole drama started with me. Or rather, I’m the one who actually made the first dissenting post for this drama. I’m writing this post now (June 7th) because I am the reason this surge of drama occurred. The drama has mostly passed from my understanding. However, I feel I’d like to set the record straight from my perspective and add some commentary to what I’ve noticed in the community. As a note, I have not and did not engage in the convo and debate after making the original post because 6/6 is my birthday and I knew I wouldn’t be consistently around online to do so. I asked followers and friends to tag me so I could follow the convo later which I’ve done. 

Here’s what happened. I made a post here about how I was personally uncomfortable with the term “tarot boner” because I feel it sexualizes tarot and it creeps me out. I explained my feelings about it in detail here but essentially: I don’t feel that it’s appropriate to use that sexually charged (intentional or not) language to the community or public at large. (For a lot of reasons. Which I’ve gone into here.) I was not speaking for the community at large but on a personal level.

I specifically called out arcanemysteries because it was their post the night before I most recently saw it used on. “Tarot boner” has been used before and will be again. I have no issues with the term being used among friends and consenting followers. I have issue when it’s being used on random strangers and/or minors. This isn’t hating on AM. This wasn’t a personal attack. This is what we call a valid criticism - I noticed something might have been ignored or simply wasn’t thought about and brought it up. Had anyone else made the same post, I would have done the same thing to them, close friend or no. We’re suppose to be a community here so it’s suppose to be able to call out each other on shitty behavior, intentional or not, so we can all learn, grow, and be comfortable in the community.

However, AM did not act appropriately and THAT is the core of this specific drama for me. But there’s so much more going on in the background which I’ll address further into this post.

If AM had apologized, corrected the post so it doesn’t include sexually charged language, asked for further conversation / education/ clarification, or even ran a poll to ask the community’s opinion on the topic then this would have never been much more than a mistake. We all make mistakes and thus it could be easily forgiven.

That’s not what happened. Instead, AM made a passive aggressive post here as a response. Later AM posted this. To be clear: I never saw this second post. By this time I had disengaged from tumblr entirely and was playing video games. (An aside: It is never OK to send hate mail, death threats, or tell someone to kill themselves. I’ve said this before and I’ll continue to say it. However, just because someone is getting hate mail, death threats, or told to kill themselves doesn’t excuse that person from correcting their own mistakes. Being a victim doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be shitty to someone else.)

AM never engaged me in conversation even though we both were actively blogging at the time. (Actually, AM has yet to approach me personally) That’s not an appropriate response to ANY criticism no matter what community this is. 

Now, it has been noted by me and other members of the tarot community that AM has a tendency to deal with problems they don’t want to handle directly in two ways: passive aggressiveness and ignoring them. While I understand not wanting to get involved in conflicts, many of these problems that keep coming up just needs simple dialogue to be rectified. If AM was just another blogger, the entire passive aggressive thing might have even been written off.

But AM is not just another blogger and the language of their post sends off alarm bells not just in me but in others. Which is why @nicstoirm made their post here. It’s actually directly inspired by a twitter conversation we had only moments before. And everything else is fallout from that which I wasn’t directly involved in. AM has sent written an apology post here which may very well be genuine but could also be a calculated move. I do not know AM well enough to determine which is which so I leave it up to you to decide. I personally accept the apology made but I also believe it is a calculated move and not out of sincere regret. That’s my stance. Some bloggers who have mentioned AM’s behavior or have dealt with this passive aggressive behavior previously ( swampseer and constantine-spiritworker and @nicstoirm) have expressed their opinions on this apology if you want to see how they feel. I’m sure others have as well but I follow them.

I want to be clear: I am not threatened by AM. And it is utterly disrespectful that AM immediately assumed that post (again, meant as a criticism) was an attack or any other thing that would indicate I was threatened. Never was I even asked if the post was an attempt at criticism that was misunderstood (easy to do on the internet) or a genuine attack.

My followers know me. I’m not one to back down from a fight if the fight needs to be fought. And I have always said that if I am to call someone out on something, I would do it to them personally. In the past, that would be via inbox but with the new tagging system, I can now tag someone and explain in a post. Which means they can choose to ignore said post and I still get to call them out. While I did not tag AM to start drama or a fight, I did tag AM because AM says they are there for the community and I was expressing an opinion that perhaps that sort of language shouldn’t be used in a community setting. This is not an attack. This is commentary. This is criticism. It’s literally saying, “hey, here’s the mistakes being made”.

I am not scared of AM. I’m not scared of sex and I’m not being a prude here. I spent half of my birthday willingly sitting in a American Legion-turned-biker bar being hit on by men twice my age. I’m not threatened or scared of men, sex, or penis. And I can honestly say that I felt less uncomfortable being aggressively flirted with by those men than the term “tarot boner” because of two things. One, when I asked these men to stop they stopped. Two, if I didn’t want to engage in a sexually charged conversation at said bar then I could leave the bar. I can’t leave my dash (yes, I could turn off the internet but the posts would still be there when I came back later) and AM refused by way of ignoring the situation to stop. Think about that for a second. Now, is it even fair to people who do have issues with penises, sex, or men to have to deal with this kind of language or treatment (re: being ignored when asked to stop)? How is this supporting the community?

AM likes to say we’re a community. I… I have problems with that. Specifically, I have problems with the idea that we are a community (the implication here is that you’re part of the community whether you want to be or not. That’s what it feels like to a lot of readers who are on the fringe. At least five people I know have expressed this publicly in the last two weeks.) It also assumes we’re all ONE community and that’s not really how communities work. There’s always going to be smaller communities inside larger ones. I also have problems with community leaders (which AM is) and how said community leaders are not actively attempting to solve problems. Which is the job of a community leader. I also have considerable issue with the way criticism is handled in this community. Let’s take the anon post on diviner confessions. Many anons expressed that they felt the community isn’t available for beginners and is hard to connect with. And the backlash against those anons was huge and utterly INAPPROPRIATE. So what if you try to help newbies. You know what’s not helping them? Watching a fellow newbie get eaten alive for posting that it’s sometimes hard to connect within the community. Bloggers took it personally. It wasn’t meant to be personal. It was someone saying “hey, this is my experience and how I feel” and was taken as a personal attack. I don’t know about any of you but that’s off putting on a huge scale. You are not helping people if you’re attacking them. You’re defending your pride and ego. And that doesn’t help anyone at all but you, lease of all newbies.

Are we truly not allowed to voice concerns, criticisms, or even talk about our negative experiences in the tarot community? At all? Are we just suppose to sit there and allow behaviors that bother us to go unnoticed and unmentioned because someone posts a lot of content or helps people a lot? I sure as hope not. Because that’s not really a community. That’s flirts with the idea of a dictatorship.

What even constitutes as belonging to the tarot community? Just being a tarot reader? Posting? Making a lot of original content? Do we even get a say in being in this community? If we do get a say in belonging to this community, then why don’t we get a say in what happens in this community?

I am all for community for people who want it. I am all for a community for tarot readers. But I want- No, I DEMAND a community that everyone can feel safe in. I demand a community that I’m proud to be involved in. I demand a community that handles the problems that arise in it concisely and quickly instead of slinging mud and outrage. Why can’t we have that?

I am trying to help the community be a safer place for everyone. I am trying to help the community be approachable to everyone. I am unwilling to engage in conversation and to compromise when needed to. I am always ready to work towards a solution and I have a history of readily offering solutions when asked or I feel the need to join in conversation. However, the current behavior in this community doesn’t even allow for critic or criticisms. How are we to offer solutions and compromises or even solve problems if we can’t even voice those problems without being attacked to begin with?

I want to be crystal clear here, so everyone understands. I do not hate AM. I don’t have AM’s friends. Anyone who sends hate mail to them needs to stop immediately and go apologize. No one deserves hate mail. And you should never send hate mail in someone else’s name. I’m not saying that AM intentionally started this nor did I. What am I saying is this: I posted a valid criticism on my own personal feelings on a term used. I explained why I didn’t like it. And all I got was passive aggressively told by a community leader that it’s good I felt uncomfortable. No, that’s not correct. I wasn’t told. I never had direct communication with AM. AM posted something that directly implies that they saw my post and didn’t give a damn that I felt uncomfortable. Everything else tumbled downhill from there.

AM is a leader in the tarot community who consistently refuses to directly communicate with those who voice criticisms or problems. Hey, that’s OK to a degree. Some people can’t and don’t like to have confrontations. Handling things privately is the way to go if you don’t want public confrontation then. However, the communities follow their leaders. And all I’ve seen from community leaders and the community as a whole is an inability to accept criticism and to attack people they’re claiming to help because they feel personally slighted. This is how communities fail. You cannot hold a community together by continually saying you’ll help all newbies and you love everyone while ignoring the rotting foundation of problems voiced by members of that community. You can love this community. You can help newbies. But you can also help solve problems members of the community have by considering their criticisms instead of jumping to your own defense. Please try to support everyone this community.

Here is my suggested solutions to this problem: 

Community leaders should actively read criticisms and feedback as neutral first then personal. View it in both ways to determine whether something’s a criticism or an attack. If you don’t know or can’t tell, ask.

Engage with people having issues in an appropriate manner. This means no hate mail. This means no passive aggressive vague posts. This means handling issues privately if it’s not a community issue.

Make the community a safe place. No one should feel threatened by their community. No one should feel uncomfortable. And neither threats nor discomfort should be ignored or worse mocked by anyone. Remember that everyone here is an individual with their own lives, problems, and concerns. They have feelings and not everyone can articulate them properly. Be compassionate but take no shit. Additionally, this website is available for children as young as 13 and is a public website. Consider your audience and their feelings (and what’s actually appropriate for the masses) when you post.

Let someone voice their criticisms. Let them voice their negative experiences. Learn from those criticisms and experiences. Help them out if you can or try and direct the community to fix the problem. No one should be isolated or shunned for voicing an opinion against a community leader or the community in general. Shutting someone down for having an something negative to say doesn’t encourage learning and love. It encourages dissent and anger. People will only deal with such strictness for so long before they buck the system and community leaders. It is terrifically easy to tear a person apart online. Please do not let that happen to you because you refused to listen to people in the community. Also, you will not melt into a puddle of goo if you listen to some criticism. 

If someone wants to separate themselves from the community, let them. Trying to guilt them into coming back or complaining that they left doesn’t help. It adds resentment. People leave or don’t join communities for all kinds of reasons. Some people just prefer to sit on the sidelines. Others leave for their own health. People might just want to do their own thing and be left alone. Let them leave. Leave them alone. Don’t cling to someone who doesn’t want you anymore. If that person wants to come back, they’ll come back. Don’t pull people into a community they don’t want to be in.

Newbies don’t know. They don’t know you and they don’t know the community issues. They just want information and help. They are told to get involved but unless they’re really putting themselves out there (which not everyone is willing or even can do), they’re put on the sidelines. This is problem in many communities. The tarot community produces great socially centered ways to join in. How about we ask these members who feel like they can’t engage how they would like to be approached? Maybe something more low-key that doesn’t involve competition or center of attention. Maybe something that’s a more “hey, if you want to join in!” and a community spotlight sort of deal from that. We have to ask them. Actually talking to the people you’re making the content for is the best way to know what to make.

Focusing on newbies is great but the community should also support long term members too. It is up to long term members to reign back the community when it goes too far. It is up to the community to call each other out when they go too far or support isn’t happening for newbies or long term members.

We need to tone down the egos, smug remarks, the immediate defensive moves, and the assumptions that everything is a personal attack. This goes for everyone. This is an people and the internet problem not just a tarot community problem but it’s one I have experience in. It’s really easy to get a big ego when you stand as a pillar of the community. I’ve been there myself in other communities and I’ve been destroyed by my own ego. I’ve spent years thinking everything was a personal attack. It made me miserable and I changed because I didn’t want to be like that anymore. I can’t imagine that anyone is actually happy feeling attacked all the time. The first step I took was to really stop and consider if I was actually better than everyone else and if it was arrogance or confidence talking. From there I refused to directly engage without taking a few minutes to think and breathe first. This brought arguments down a LOT because I took the time to see that what I thought was an attack wasn’t actually a personal attack. I allowed myself to make mistakes. When I make a mistake I apologize, sincerely. If I don’t understand how something is a mistake, I apologize and ask for clarification as politely as possible. Finally, I ask: “What’s the point of posting this? Do I really need to be the one who says this?” Sometimes those questions don’t matter but when speaking about community issues or in a community setting, those questions DO matter.

That’s it. That’s what happened from my perspective and that’s what I’m seeing in the community. That’s how I suggest to work towards a solution and better community. Thanks for reading and considering what I have to say. (And sorry for the super long post!)