‘She was right. My mother was right. She said the world of men do not deserve you - they don’t deserve our help.’ ‘It’s not about deserve! Maybe we don’t, but it’s not about that, it’s about what you believe!’
i remember watching this episode for the first time thinking it’d be really good because of the fact that it started with true american but then it ended with my heart being ripped out so, what’s good, new girl writers? wanna repair my heart in these upcoming episodes?
Ok But for real Taako dropping his disguise spell actually kills me cause you know YOU FUCKING KNOW he was 100% sincere about that shit. You can hear it in his voice, and it actually breaks my heart a little at how he like, actually sounds a little, unsure? like he genuinely thinks Kravitz might feel differently about him now, because of this.
One of my favourite things about Taako is how he’s got this insecure side that we only rarely see? He’s so good at keeping it hidden, pretending like he’s this endless well of confidence, but then you get these little things, here and there. I’m worried nobody else will have me and him immediately glamouring his changed appearance in Wonderland, and so this is what I look like now, and I just wanted you to know in case that changes anything, for you.
And like, the way he INSTANTLY jumps back into troll mode once he’s got that reassurance. Like he has to pretend he didn’t just have this very real, sincere moment., has to pretend like it’s just a prank. cause playing it off like a joke is easier than admitting to being vulnerable. haha that was a actually a test your face is a skull half the time.
I just. I have so many feelings about this scene. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT TAAKO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH UGH UGHHH
REQUESTS: Can you please do a pt2 to BTS falling out of love but now after they’ve left you for another, they realise they can’t seem to forget you and they discover they were wrong about their feelings all along and what they’d do?
I know your request box is closed but I saw your post about BTS and how they fall out of love so I thought why not to ask about part 2 maybe? When after they break up with you and they started to go out with the other person they thought it’s just not it? Like it’s not like what they had with you?
This was the last thing he imagined. Hell, this was the last thing he expected. On the very first date after the break-up with you, Jin found himself remembering every single date he’d gone on with you.
As Jisoo told him about how great she thought the food in this restaurant was, Jin remembered you criticizing the chef of the restaurant after you found a hair in your food. As she asked him about his family, Jin remembered taking you home to meet his parents.
“Jin,” Jisoo suddenly said, bringing him back to real time. “You’re spacing out, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m uh…” he started but then took a deep breath, stopping himself. “Actually, would you forgive me if I went out for a moment to take a breath? It’s kind of suffocating in here, I don’t know what’s—uh, I just need a moment.”
Jisoo seemed seriously alarmed. “Well, do you want me to come with you?”
“No, God no,” Jin said and then realized how that sounded. “I just mean… stay here where it’s warm. I’ll be right back. I’m sorry I just need to—”
But he left without finishing the sentence. And frankly, he wasn’t even sure what he needed. Maybe he needed to get away. Away from the gloomy restaurant. Away from the girl that wasn’t you.
He had expected to run away from the overwhelming amount of memories but as he opened the door of the restaurant and immediately felt the cold winter wind, he remembered the way you clung to him when the two of you strolled down the city in winter. As he exhaled and saw white smoke come out of his mouth, he remembered the way the two of you jokingly tried smoking when you were drunk and almost choked to death. As he watched the cars drive out of the parking lot of the restaurant, he remembered waiting for you outside of your work so he could take you home. Finally, as he turned around to look inside of the restaurant and saw Jisoo glance at the watch on her wrist nervously, he remembered the tears in your eyes when he told you he was leaving you.
Feeling the painful beats of his heart, he got his phone out of his pocket and dialed the phone number that he had memorized so long ago.
“Y/n,” Jin breathed at the sound of hearing your voice again. “I miss you.”
He had genuinely thought he had fallen out of love with you. That’s what it felt like. He thought he would have much rather stay out late than come back home to face you. And after he finally told you the truth and walked out of your shared house for the last time, he felt relieved. For the first few minutes, anyway.
Then the reality of what he had just done dawned on him. Sure, he may have developed feelings for someone else. Sure, he considered this a form of betrayal that he simply couldn’t put you through. And sure, he thought that by breaking up with you, he’d reach a symbolic freedom. But nothing was as simple as it had first seemed.
Knocking on Hoseok’s door in the middle of the night, Yoongi found himself at the absolute rock bottom.
“I can’t believe you broke up with Y/n,” Hoseok told him. “Have you lost your mind or something?”
“I think I have,” Yoongi agreed. “I can’t even look at… at any other girl, really. Because it’s a sad reminder that I threw the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had away because of a stupid crush.”
“You told me it wasn’t just a crush though,” Hoseok reminded him.
“Of course it was a stupid crush,” Yoongi said, almost breaking the glass of water Hoseok had given him. “Everything I’m feeling is a stupid crush in comparison to my love for Y/n.”
“You… you told her you fell out of love with her, though.”
“God, you’re being a serious pain in my ass right now,” Yoongi groaned, although a few seconds later he had to sigh in defeat because, sadly, Hoseok was right. “I told Y/n a lot of stupid shit. I don’t know maybe I was blinded by something. I took her for granted.”
“Have you tried apologizing to her? Taking your words back?” Hoseok tried to help.
“I left the house, like, five hours ago,” Yoongi replied. “I should be locked up in some kind of an institution for changing my mind every five minutes. There’s no way she’d listen to me now. I fucked up, Hobi. You should have seen the way she looked at me when I walked out of there. I think I fucking killed a part of her.”
Hoseok sighed. “I think you need to sleep on it. That’ll clear your head up.”
“There’s nothing for me to clear,” Yoongi said in a painful tone. “Everything’s already as clear as day. I just lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lost the love of my life.”
He left you because he met someone else. He met a girl who was really similar to you. Thinking that this was just his type, he jumped into this new relationship right after ending his previous one. And he received his first cold shower right after the first date.
Every single feature that the girl shared with you was now slowly killing him. The way she spoke – in a similar voice to yours, but not similar enough. The way she laughed – in a similar manner to yours, but not similar enough. The way she smelled – in a similar way to you, but not similar enough.
Finally, Hoseok had to admit, that no matter how much she reminded him of you… she just wasn’t you. And that was the saddest conclusion he’s ever made.
Every single thing he loved about you, he was able to found in her. But it wasn’t the same. It was like buying cheap off-brand clothing after wearing expensive Gucci attire your whole life. Both of these things looked alike but they felt different.
“Oh God,” he found himself whispering to no one in particular as he hid in the bathroom.
He couldn’t possibly go back there and return to his date as if nothing happened. Not after this realization that she just wasn’t good enough. No one was. Because none of them were you.
“You okay there, man?” a random guy passing by Hoseok in the bathroom asked.
Removing his eyes from his face, Hoseok met the stranger’s eyes in the mirror.
“No,” he said simply.
The guy got visibly awkward. “Do you want to, uh—do you want me to call someone?”
“There’s no one you can call,” Hoseok said, washing his hands and taking a deep breath. “I just realized I fucked my entire life up. There’s no going back from that.”
Namjoon thought he could literally hear your heart break after he told you he was leaving you and that sound haunted him every day for the upcoming week. He couldn’t close his eyes without seeing your pained face in front of him. He couldn’t take a breath without remembering the tears that ran down your cheeks after he said goodbye.
It took him everything not to go back to you and apologize. He knew there had to be a reason why he decided to break up with him but after seeing you so utterly crushed, all of these reasons were beyond him. He just felt like the biggest asshole in the whole world.
He spent the first week locked in his room but then he realized that this was not a solution to his problems. He needed to do something, though he wasn’t sure what. Which is why he went home to see his family.
His mother, who already loved you as much as she loved her own children, was almost as broken-hearted as he was when he told her what he’d done.
“Why?” she just asked him. “You loved Y/n so much.”
“It wasn’t the same,” Namjoon replied. “I felt like something’s changed with us. I-I don’t know what I was thinking for sure but I just thought it’d be better if we didn’t continue the relationship. I thought it was heading nowhere.”
“Is there someone else?” his mother tried asking.
“I thought there was,” he said. “But, honestly, mum, you know Y/n. There’s no one even remotely like her. I’m afraid that I will never find anyone as good as her. As beautiful as her. As perfect as her.”
“Why not just choose her, son?” his mother suggested carefully.
“Because I’m stupid,” Namjoon said, realizing how angry at himself he was. “Because I don’t know if I love her as much as she deserves to be loved. Especially not after the way I left. I hurt her, mum. But I think I would have hurt her more if I had stayed with her.”
Understanding that this was far more complicated than she had previously thought, his mother attempted to understand the situation a little better. “If you think you did the right thing, why are you suffering, honey? Why are you in pain?”
“I thought she was the love of my life,” he started slowly. “I was so happy when I fell in love with her. Honestly, I’ve never been happier. Our entire relationship… I was on cloud nine. And now I’m afraid. I’m afraid because she might still be the love of my life and I just failed to see that.”
“What does your heart tell you?” his mother asked.
“I no longer listen to my heart,” Namjoon said. “It made me fall in love and then it made me break the heart of the only person I’ve ever truly loved. My own heart betrayed me, mum. I don’t know who I am anymore.”
He had enough decency not to jump into a new relationship right after breaking up with you. At first, he thought he was just holding back, giving you both some time to get used to the fact that you were no longer together. But then he realized that he wasn’t dating anyone else because he couldn’t.
Whenever he considered calling the girl that made him realize he had fallen out of love with you, he felt shivers run down his spine and a voice in his brain told him to put the phone down. To call you instead.
You were the person who knew everything about him. His closest friend. His most trusted companion. His partner. And you were the person he would have turned to, seeking advice about what to do in a situation like this.
Jimin couldn’t believe that it took him this long to understand that by ending his relationship with you, he lost the most precious person to him. He had no one else to talk to. No one else to turn to.
He could have found someone else, it wasn’t hard. There were many potential candidates for his heart. But he didn’t want any of them. He wanted you.
Tears formed in his eyes at the realization that by losing you, he lost everything.
Although Jimin knew that this was pointless, he still found your number on his phone and pressed “Call” before he could change his mind.
He held his breath with every beep and when you finally picked up, he thought he was going to faint at the sound of your voice. Suddenly too terrified to say anything, he ended the call before he even opened his mouth.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he realized that there was nothing he could have possibly said to you that would have brought you back to him. That could have brought what the two of you had back to him.
His phone buzzed, forcing him to shoot his eyes open again.
Y/N: “why did you just call me?”
His fingers moved before his mind did and he pressed send before he talked himself out of it. Texting was easier than talking and although he would have preferred to say this to you face-to-face, he simply didn’t have it in him to actually face you after the way he left.
JIMIN: “because I’m in pain without you. I’m so sorry.”
He thought that the logical thing to do for a person who found himself in love with two people at once, was to stay with the second person because it wasn’t true love if he had found someone else. That was the logic that he followed when he chose to break up with you.
However, as he listened to his date express her excitement about finally going on a date with him, he couldn’t even begin to describe how much his feelings opposed hers.
Taehyung missed you with every fiber of his being. In fact, he missed you so much, that he saw you in every single person that passed him. And, although he had broken up with you, he still felt guilty to be on this date.
“Tae,” the girl suddenly told him and he raised his eyes from the floor to look at her. Somehow, he could no longer understand how was it possible that he had fallen for her. “You seem distracted. Are you okay?”
“Sorry,” Taehyung said, clearing his throat. “What were you saying?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she dismissed it. “Do you want to play a question game or something? This way it wouldn’t be just me talking.”
“Sorry about that again,” he said, sighing. “Sure. I guess we can play that.”
“Okay, I’ll start,” the girl said. “If you had to choose one place to spend the rest of your life in, what place would you choose?”
It didn’t take him long to find the answer. In fact, the answer came to him almost as soon as she finished asking the question.
“I wouldn’t really care where I was,” Taehyung said. “As long as Y/n was with me.”
He wasn’t sure if he truly said it out loud at first because the question took him right back to his dream world, but after noticing that shocked and slightly hurt expression on his date’s face, he realized that he didn’t just think that. He said that.
“You still love her?” she asked him and then looked down after realizing the answer herself. “Of course you still love her. You just broke up with her a few weeks ago… Somehow, I had assumed you fell out of love with her. How naïve of me.”
“I think I assumed that, too,” Taehyung said. “I lead you on, I’m sorry about that. Y/n was my first love. It’s me who’s naïve for thinking I’d ever stop loving her. God, this is a mess. I’m sorry, I have to go. I have to fix this. I’m so sorry.”
He never really found out if you‘ve read his letter and sometimes, he found himself hoping you haven‘t. He dreamt of a life where he didn‘t say goodbye to you in the form of a letter and instead got himself together and realized how important you truly were to him before he let go of you.
After revealing the contents of the painful letter to Jimin, he waited to hear his friend‘s advice about what to do next because he couldn‘t keep living a life where he suffered without you even more than he thought he had suffered with you.
“You told her you don’t feel as strongly towards her as you used to,” Jimin said. “Is that true?”
“I don’t know,” Jungkook sighed. “I don’t know anything. All I know is that I need her.”
“You’re my friend, Jungkook,” Jimin said and Jungkook prepared himself to be hit with the hard truth. “But I have to admit, you’re not being fair to Y/n. It’s not cool of you to play with her like that. First, you break up with her in a letter. And then, you regret breaking up with her altogether? You can’t do that. It’s not right.”
Covering his face with his hands, Jungkook shook his head. “I know that.”
“You didn’t even give her any closure. You just left a note,” Jimin continued. “Reading words is not the same as hearing them.”
“I know that, too,” Jungkook said. “But I would have never been able to put my feelings into words.”
“You want to get back together with her?” Jimin asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Jungkook, if you couldn’t break up with her when you thought that this was what you wanted, you’re probably not going to be able to get her back when you’re not even sure if you want that.”
Jungkook heard every single thing Jimin said but his mind automatically translated his friend’s words into what he truly wanted to say.
“You’re right,” Jungkook finally said. “I don’t deserve Y/n. I mistreated her. I took her for granted. And now I lost her. She needs someone better than me.”
I don’t want it to be love. I want it to be something else, anything else. Because I can’t accept the fact that I love you. Do you know how crazy that sounds? Because I do. In my mind, that’s all that I can hear and I don’t know if I can take it much longer because it’s killing me. Loving you kills me, don’t you get that?
Dean kneels in the dirt next to Cas’s inert body, the rough fabric of the trenchcoat gripped tightly in his fists. It’s been minutes–hours?–since they came through from the other universe, since Cas… Dean doesn’t know when he started crying, but his face is wet with tears and his throat is raw from sobbing and pleading with Cas.
“Open your eyes, Cas. You cannot leave me. Not again. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes…”
He is still whispering the words, his voice nearly gone, when Sam pulls him away.
It’s been over a week since they burned Cas’s body. Dean’s mind won’t let him sleep; he still sees the flames every time he closes his eyes. He feels the heat licking at his skin, cracking his lips. Now he sits on the cement floor of the parking garage; it’s the coolest place he can find.
“Where are you, Cas? Can you hear me anymore? Is it hot where you are? Is it cold? Where do angels go when they…”
There are tears on his cheeks again.
The barest whisper: “I miss you, Cas.”
On a hunt, a werewolf pack closing in.
“Cas! We could use your help!”
Sam jerks in surprise, barely escapes a snapping jaw.
The fight is brutal. Dean has a gash on his arm, Sam a badly bruised rib, but all the werewolves are dead. They make their way back to the Impala, Dean muttering, “Where are you, Cas?”
“Dean,” Sam says softly, “Cas is–”
Dean’s glare stops him cold.
Dark fields fly past outside Baby’s windows, and the sky above is a flood of stars. Dean is blind to all but the road and the steering wheel.
Led Zeppelin plays on the radio. Ramble On. This isn’t on the tape he made for…
“This used to be one of my favorite songs, Cas. But it’s all about goodbye, all about looking for something more. That was my life, always saying goodbye. Then we found the bunker, so we kinda had a home. And I thought–I hoped–someday I’d have you too.”
The song had ended while he was praying. The Impala’s engine and her wheels on the road are the only sounds until Dean’s gasping sobs fill the car.
He pulls over to the side of the road.
“Cas.” Dean chokes on the name. “I wish you could hear me.”
It’s been 37 days since Cas…left.
Dean is off on his own again. He hunts with Sam, but between hunts he can’t seem to stay still, just like he can’t seem to close his eyes. So he drives. When he realizes where he is, he makes a sound that is almost a laugh.
He takes a few wrong turns, but eventually finds his way to the barn. It is, surprisingly, still standing. He expects to find the inside littered with beer bottles and the like, but there is nothing. Maybe all the signs and sigils scared off the local miscreants.
Memories wash over Dean in a rush.
I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.
I’m an angel of the Lord.
This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.
Dean falls to his knees, head bowed. Remembering. The awesome sight of Cas’s wings, filling the entire barn. The way his eyes seemed to look into Dean’s very soul. The feeling of being known, and chosen, and wanted.
He aches for Cas, so even he is surprised by the words that tumble from his lips.
“Chuck. I don’t know if you’re listening anymore. The bible says–and yeah, Cas told me to read the bible, so I did–that you’re everywhere at once, so maybe you can still hear me even off on your family vacation.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not good at this. I sound like an idiot. I’ve gotten used to praying to Cas, but he can’t hear me anymore. Lucifer, he…” Tears flow from Dean’s eyes.
“I’m broken, Chuck. I can barely stand. You need to give him back to us. We need him. And not because he’s a fighter, or because he’s an angel, or because he’s a part of our team. You need to give him back because…” Dean takes a shuddering breath. “You need to give him back to me. Because I love him. He’s not my brother, he’s…he’s everything.”
His voice is raw, thick with tears.
“I never got to tell him. Please, Chuck. Please. I don’t know what else to say. Can you hear the sound of a heart breaking?”
“Well, what do you know. Too bad I’m not writing any more books. I love character development.”
He twirls his finger in the air, and the dust motes form a spinning vortex. Atoms join, coming together to form more and more complex molecules until, with a tiny breath from Chuck, the angel stands in front of him.
Chuck gestures. “Sorry about the tie. Dean seem to like it backwards, though.”
Cas stands bewildered, patting his coat, touching his face, ruffling his hair–deliberately avoiding the place where the blade pierced his chest.
“And the tape is still in your pocket. I know it’s important to you.”
Cas’s hand flies to the inside pocket of his trenchcoat. When his hand closes around the familiar piece of plastic he relaxes slightly.
“I don’t understand,” Cas says. “I was…gone. Again.”
Chuck points at himself. “Did you forget who I am? Or how many times I’ve done this for you?”
Cas’s thoughts still haven’t caught up to the present. “But why?”
Cas tilts his head, puzzled. “I don’t–”
“Nevermind,” Chuck says, chuckling to himself. “I just need you to deliver a message to Dean Winchester, okay?”
Cas nods, eyes bright. “Alright.”
“Tell him…tell him…no, on second thought, just go. I think he’ll understand. A picture is worth a thousand words and all that.”
Cas nods again, still not understanding, but willing to go. Chuck reaches out, gently rests his hands on Cas’s shoulders.
“One more thing,” he says. “It was never a punishment, Castiel.”
Cas’s eyes widen.
“You always believe in me. I keep bringing you back because I always believe in you too.”
Boards creak. Feathers rustle.
Dean’s head jerks up.
“Dean, why are we here?”
Dean cannot speak. He pulls himself to his feet, his eyes never leaving Cas’s. He walks to Cas, and when they are standing close enough to touch Cas says, “What about personal space, Dean?”
“Are you real, Cas?” Dean breathes. “Are you really you?”
Understanding, Cas flexes his wings. Blue-black feathers flash. No demon or shapeshifter could fake that.
“Good,” says Dean. “Oh, Cas. I–”
But there are no words. He pulls Cas into a hug, holding him like he never wants to let go.
Draco pauses mid-word and nearly drops his quill as he looks up in surprise. Surely he’s misheard.
“Fine, I’ll do.” Potter’s voice is full of confidence.
“Mate, I dunno, I mean surely that’s not a fair dare.”
Seamus laughs. Draco thinks he looks a bit drunk, and excited. Not that he should be surprised since its Seamus after all. “There are no rules in truth or dare, Ron!”
“Harry, I know you don’t want to lose but I’m not sure this is a good idea.” Hermione’s voice sounds level headed. At least one of them does he thinks.
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and tries to focus on his essay again, still not entirely sure why he’s in the 8th year common room studying instead of his dorm room. Morbid curiosity perhaps. Definitely not so he can watch Potter.
“Hermione’s right. It’s fucking freezing, Harry. Literally. You’re going to freeze your bits off!”
“I don’t care. A dare is a dare. I’m not losing.”
At this Draco can stand it no longer, finally setting his quill down and looking up at the rest of the 8th years sitting in a sort of half circle around the fireplace. “Is wonder boy for real here?”
Draco’s voice makes several people jump. He rolls his eyes. They’d probably all forgotten he was even in the room.
“No one asked you, Malfoy.”
Draco doesn’t even bristle at the tone. He doesn’t take it personally, not anymore. He knows Weasley has been jealous lately of the tentative friendship he and Potter have struck up since becoming roommates.
“It’s a dare,”Potter says again, shrugging, as if that explains it all. Draco wonders how on earth he could like someone so unconcerned with self preservation or their own dignity. He must be crazy.
“What does he get if he does it?” Draco asks, suddenly deciding that he doesn’t want to stop the other boy, because he would much rather watch.
“Get? Nothing. That’s not how truth or dare works,” Hermione answers, looking back and forth between Potter and himself with a curious expression.
“Well, its a rather large dare isn’t it? Seems like maybe he should get a reward if he does it,” Draco replies, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.
He watches as Potter swallows. Potter licks his lips and stares right at Draco. “Like what?”
“Why the bloody hell should he get a reward? He already said he would do the dare.” Seamus all but shouts, and Dean leans over to whisper something in his ear that makes Seamus blink a few times before closing his mouth.
“That would depend on who would be giving the reward.” Draco tries to sound uninterested.
“You volunteering?” Potter asks, the smile on his face makes Draco’s heart race.
Draco shrugs. “Might be.”
“What the bloody fuck is going on?” Ron asks in bewilderment. “Harry, stop. I’m begging you. You cannot fly around the pitch in the buff.”
Draco can hear Potter’s footsteps as he crosses the room to stand in front of him, but he doesn’t dare look up until he hears the other boy’s voice. “What’s my reward?”
Finally Draco looks up, and his breathe catches in his throat at the look on Potter’s face. “Guess you won’t know unless you do it?”
Potter’s face breaks out in a smile, the cocky bastard. “He leans forward, so close Draco can smell the firewhiskey on his breathe; it makes him feel almost drunk even though he hasn’t had a single drink. “You’re on, Malfoy.”
Draco doesn’t know what posses him to grab the front of Potter’s jumper and pull him down into a bruising kiss. His ears are ringing and he can hear the other’s shouting, he thinks someone might even be whistling, but all Draco cares about is the way Potter’s hair feels sliding through his fingers and the way he taste he chocolate and alcohol.
Draco pulls back to catch his breath, smiling at the look on other boy’s face.
“Thought I didn’t get my reward until after I did my dare,” he whispers.
“That wasn’t your reward, that was just a hint for what you’ll get when you get back.”
And as Potter takes off running through the portrait hole, peeling off his jumper and trousers as he goes, Draco can’t help but think that Potter might be the one doing the dare, but its definitely he who has won tonight.
Sexual content, Explicit Sexual, Oral Sex, Smut, Dirty Talk, Language, NSFW, Unprotected Sex (wrap it please), Sebastian Stan, Calvin Klein briefs
Word Count: 2,336
A/N: Yes I know I’m supposed to be working on chapter 6 of The Contest but let me explain. So I was finishing up my first draft of Chapter 6 when Sebastian Stan happened…fucker goes and posts that locker room selfie. I tried to ignore it, really I did but this scene popped into my head and it would not let me live until I wrote it down. So sorry (but not sorry). This is a another quickie that I wrote at work so please ignore the typos and the writing. I just had to get it out of my head so I could get back to Bucky…