This is how I lost.
I lost, when I first saw your smile and how a slight curve on your lips made my heart melt, like ice cream on a sunny day and it isn’t summer yet. I lost, when I first heard your voice, how you called my name and I never really liked it not until I heard it from you. I lost, when I first heard you sing because I said I’m sleepy but I couldn’t sleep so you sang a few lines until you sang the whole song and I swear that is the most wonderful out-of-tune voice I’d never get tired of listening over and over. I lost, when I first heard you laugh, as if you’re lungs are about to get out of its cage, how you breathe for air because of too much laughter, how you complain that your stomach is already aching but still you’re adorable. I lost, when I first heard you cry. You were silently weeping, and that has been the worst 15 minutes of my life, when I know you’re crying and yet I can’t ease away your sadness. I lost, the moment I felt something weird, not butterflies on my stomach or anything weirder than that, but a small pang in my chest when I found out that you like somebody else. So I sat here, with the stars and the moon as my witness, wishing I had the courage to say it out loud, wishing I had the strength to tell you a secret I’ve been keeping for a long time, because I was so afraid that things will change, because I know it’s a heavy burden for you to carry and for me to admit that I lost. I lost, because I fell in love with you. I lost because after years of protecting my heart, it now belongs to you.