I think people are quick to jump to conclusions about Regina now. They assume she'll act in one way before she has a chance to act beyond a first immediate reaction (e.g. snapping at Emma just seconds after having her heartbroken, before she can process the situation and do something). As for how that applies to Henry, I can see a lot of her time being spent focusing on her relationship with him while things with Robin are uncertain. If that led to healthy development, would you be more at ease?
No because I’m past the point of being okay with her rebuilding a relationship with him. That relationship hits way too close to home for me after Season 2. She apologized, she made an effort, then she went back on that word and abused him again when things got a little too hard for her. And then she had the gall to say ‘I don’t regret anything because it got me my son’ whom she abused his entire life and was unable to love properly until the curse was broken. (In her own words “I don’t know how to love very well. I wasn’t capable of it for a very long time.” As in during the curse that hole in her heart prevented her from loving anything in any real way.)
And then the abuse was disregarded and chalked up to a ‘phase’ Henry went through and I’m just done. Henry has the mother he always needed. Her name is Emma. She’s the one who’s always put him first, always looked out for him even if it wasn’t in her best interests. She’s not his mother because of biology. She’s his mother because she’s the only one who acts like his mother. Regina acted like he was a pet or something and still acts like he’s a possession instead of a person, a child. So that whole situation can kindly fuck off and stop happening on my screen. Henry is Emma’s son. She’s fought for him and earned the right to be his primary parent since coming back into his life of his own free will. Regina lost that right when she poisoned him while trying to poison Emma instead even though she was leaving for Henry’s safety. She lost it when she tried to murder all the people he loves and she completely lost any right to him in my mind when she wiped his memory after telling him she was going to destroy the town, murdering everyone in it, and kidnap him to the enchanted forest because ‘He can’t be hers with others in his life.’
Her exact words were this:
I don't have any other choice. As long as there are other people in our lives, you can never fully be mine. You loved me once. With them gone, you'll love me again. And you can see me for what I truly am—a hero.
That’s how twisted her logic was at the end of Season 2. I’m sorry, but that makes me completely want her the hell out of Henry’s life. And he doesn’t remember that. He doesn’t remember that conversation because when he got angry with her for that plan she wiped his mind. And that conversation, that vital information, if he remembered, would probably change how he saw her now, even a year later.
So no. I won’t ever be okay with this relationship. Because there is nothing in the narrative to make me feel okay about it. In Season 2 I was rooting for Regina to be better for Henry, to be a hero and be a healthy parent in his life. And she screwed that up royally. So as far as I’m concerned, she’s run out of chances. She had ten years to be a good mother to him, and then another year to prove herself after he was taken from her care. And she fucked up.
So to me at least, Henry is Emma’s son. Not Regina’s. Not anymore.
And as far as people jumping to conclusions, that’s because of the writing. The writers know these characters and from a storytelling standpoint they have trigger words and trigger sentences that will tell the audience how exactly a character will react to something. The fact that they chose those specific words for Regina’s reaction to Emma bringing Marian back is significant. Just like them choosing those specific words after being reunited with Henry. That is a writing device, call backs to earlier times in the narrative. And if they didn’t mean it to come across that way, then they simply fucked up in the writing because that’s how those kinds of trigger phrases work, especially for characters like Regina.