that seems like enough to me

How I handle the fear that everyone will give up on me

Relapse:

Recovery:

(x)

mod note: It’s normal to have ups and downs in recovery. It’s normal to want to reassure your loved ones that “everything’s fine”. It may not seem like it, but “I’m struggling, and I am scared you’ll give up on me” is one of the best signs that your recovery is strong. It means you’re asking for help, that you haven’t given up, that you’re in touch with your feelings again, that you’re actively working on handling a solution, that you’re putting recovery over stubbornness, that you trust your loved one enough to go to them for support. And all of those are building blocks of stronger relationships.

i think a lot abt how sasuke’s family life before the massacre was tense and troubled and that he already had some attachment issues before then and how that must be fucking impossible to address post-massacre without feeling ungrateful for what he had. like the fact of the matter is that sasuke didnt get what he needed from his father, and he got more from his brother but still got left wanting. im not sure if its general uchiha isolation or his status as a prodigy but its sad to me that he also never seemed to have any friends even pre-massacre. the boy was soft and insecure as hell to begin with. he idealizes how it was before to cope but rly… kid sasuke wasnt that happy. he was always a lonely, lonely kid who never felt like he was getting enough

anonymous asked:

I need a spell to make myself unrecognizable. Not invisibility...just that people won't recognize me in photos or videos or if I'm far enough away from them. Please get back to me as soon as you can

Hi! I’m not sure of a spell like this, but I imagine you would use a glamour on your face (like a makeup glamour) for disguise. I’m not sure of anything that would manipulate photo/video, but I think a disguise glamour might do the trick. Here’s some good info about how they work, but as for making one for disguising yourself or masking yourself I think you’ll have to make one yourself since I can’t seem to find anything like it. Maybe take ingredient inspiration from existing invisibility spells or glamours. Sorry I can’t be more help!

There was never an us,
For we cannot be together,
For in the eyes of many,
You are in love with someone,
And that someone’s not me.

There was never an us,
For I have to hide from them,
Seems like a secret love song,
For things may get worst,
And you cannot handle that.

There was never an us,
For we can’t work things out,
You allow your insecurities,
Eat your heart out,
When you know me so well.

There can never be an us,
For I am not the one you need,
Maybe you do,
But what is the truth?
What do you really feel?

There can never be an us,
‘Cause even if know each other,
Long enough now,
You still see things the same,
And trust is the main issue.

Even if, there can be an US,
Chances are, we will fail again,
For love itself wasn’t enough,
For trust itself is scarce,
US? No. We were never be.

anonymous asked:

I'm afraid because I think this lucky thing will end someday, but I got so used to it I don't think I'll be able to start DOING SOMETHING with my life. Like, education? What am I going to do after? Everyone says it doesn't work like that, and if my whole life was built on coincidences, there is a chance I'll just starve accidentally, won't sleep enough and just die, etc. I know I'm pretty pathetic without that luck, and I'm very afraid of the future, I don't know how to start - crazy life anon

Well, it seems to me that you are hyper aware of what you are afraid of. It’s not too late to start doing exactly what you say you don’t do now then? Start to put effort into what you think you’ve never had and secure this success instead of ever gotta worry it’ll one day disappear! Never too late, even if some shit really did happen then it’s a good life lesson to learn. 

((Took me long enough, but I finally got Cecil a neat profile page. With new people coming in, it seemed like a good thing to have, just to get a general idea of who Cecil and his son are. I also went ahead and wrote down an abridged version of Cecil’s entire backstory. I tried to be as compact and brief as possible, but I ended up writing a 1173 word long biography. I also added a page with my oddtumblr related artworkAnd finally, I wrote down some roleplay info, which pretty much just says “I have no rules and will continue to do so, but I’ll respect yours.” along with a content warning, seeing how everything on my blog is fair game.
So, yeah, after more than a year I finally put these pages on there. Sure took me long enough, lmao.))

anonymous asked:

Why are you so doubtful that you're a good writer? Like you've almost got 3000 followers so I don't get why you're so insecure

Because sometimes it just feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. No matter how hard I work, no matter how well I think I’m doing there always seems to be something waiting to come along and break me down. As soon as I feel like I’ve written something that people love and care about it feels like someone comes along and writes something similar and better, and then I can’t help but feel like giving up because “why would they read mine when there is better?”. Part of me is just waiting for someone to unintentionally take my pride and happiness about The Mean Marquis away from me by writing something similar but better.

This will probably be the last time I talk about this, so you can all breathe a sigh of relief.
I got my response back from him. I sent him a huge message telling him how much I love him even though he didn’t feel the same. I said that I was confused still and whether he had felt anything for me. To say the response was flat is an understatement. He acknowledged that he did like me but not as much as he should at the time. He then said that maybe his feelings for me might change in the future, but the tables could turn and I might be turning him down. He did want to remain friends though.
I don’t know how to feel. I’m sad that I seemed like nothing more despite putting in so much effort, but I’m annoyed that I was never given a second thought. I know he didn’t need to be in a relationship with me just because I wanted it, fair enough, but don’t I deserve a proper answer?
My heart hurts a little less now that I’ve told him everything, but I still have many things unanswered. I still have hope that something might happen out if this, but I know it won’t. I’m just so tired of being on my own, the loneliness and solitude is a hard thing to put up with when it’s the only feeling I’ve known all my life. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with him because having that sort of validation was something I never had.
It’s going to be a long road to stop myself from loving him. It’s going to be hard, especially if I do end up seeing them together flirting and kissing each other. I think the most important thing is to start loving myself. I never have and I’m finding that harder than anything else in the world. Hopefully I do because everything would stop hurting all the more.
I just have to carry on in the world by myself a little more longer. It upsets me but when you’ve been lonely all your life you do get accustomed to it. I do hope that I meet someone who actually wants to be seen in public with me one day, but now I want to rest my broken heart and be rid of the worst week I’ve had so far this year.

Becoming a more active practitioner through everyday magic

Four years ago if you asked me what it took to be an active magical practitioner, I would have told you that it took spells upon spells cast, rituals every weekend, elaborate offering ceremonies, and so on. If you had told me about “everyday” magic, I would have pouted and complained that it wasn’t “real” enough. Shame on me!!

But the truth is, you can be a “practitioner” without formal spells, rituals, and ceremonies. What makes us practitioners, seekers, whatever you like to call it isn’t the activities, but the beliefs. I also don’t want to make it seem like you must be cramming lots of magic in to your daily life to be a proper practitioner; it is quite alright to be a nonpracticing practitioner, and that is a completely valid path.

However, some of us would like a little more active practice in our daily lives. After all, we have been given a magic wand. What is the fun in letting it collect dust in the cabinet? I think doing practical, everyday magic is loads of fun. It also has the added benefit of giving you practice and experience outside of big spells and rituals which many people don’t have the time, energy, or supplies for.

What do I mean when I say everyday magic? I mean putting small amounts of magical energy behind mundane actions to turn them in to magical actions. When done regularly throughout the day this can turn a regular day in to a very magical one. This kind of everyday magic can be done again and again in any situation that you like, to help support you, ease your burdens, and improve your quality of life.

Any situation can be made magical, from drinking your morning juice to taking a walk down the sidewalk. It is up to you, as a practitioner, to decide when and where you are going to take “everyday” and add the magic. I will give several generalized spells below that you can adapt to everyday situations.


Stirring Magic in to Liquids

Useful for tea, coffee, beverages, soups, elixirs, etc.

This magic will take effect once the liquid is consumed. Or, the liquid may passively give off the effect in to the room.

Take a wooden or metal spoon; metal conducts energies more easily. You may also use your pointer finger on your right hand if you prefer.

Strongly imagine what magical effect you would like to occur. In my morning coffee I like to stir bravery and boldness. For you, perhaps you would like to stir in peace or calmness (the opposite of anxiety). In a hearty soup you may wish to stir happiness and coziness. In a brew meant to affect the ambiance of a room, perhaps a general positive energy or cleansing vibration is best.

Take the spoon or your finger and stir the brew clockwise, while vividly imagining the effect you want to take place. Imagine that this effect is literally being stirred in to your liquid, just as if you were stirring cream in to it. At a certain point you will feel as if this magic is complete, but if you doubt yourself, rest assured the spell is complete after nine stirs.

Then, you must seal the spell. You can say “so mote it be.” I like to clap or snap my fingers. Immediately consume the beverage or set it aside to allow its ambient effects to take place.

If you prefer your liquid to take something away, stir it counter-clockwise. For example, to cure anxiety, stir clockwise for peace, or counter-clockwise to reduce anxiety itself. Do not combine clockwise and counter-clockwise stirring in the same liquid.

Exhaling Energies

Releasing energies to either fill a room or be dissipated.

Inhale deeply and be acutely aware of what energies are inside of you. Maybe you are filled with beautiful energies that you want to share with the world. Maybe you are filled with negative energies that need to be released so you will feel better.

If you are filled with negative energies, try going outside if possible or in to an open space where the air and winds can help dissipate your energies.

Inhale again. As you inhale with focus, energies will be drawn towards your lungs where they can be naturally expelled. Inhale until you feel very certain that the energies are in your lungs and ready to be moved away.

When you are prepared, take a final deep breath and imagine the energies are scooped up on the air in your lungs, ready for transport. As you exhale, do so deeply, so that there is not one trace of air left in your lungs.

If you are exhaling negative energies send a wish on your breath that the winds dissipate your energies and neutralize and purify them. If you are exhaling beautiful energies for others to enjoy, just let them sit.

Inhale and exhale several more times until you feel clean and purified.

Another excellent way of dispelling negative energy is to exhale through pursed lips, like how people do when they’re pissed off. That is a real magical technique of releasing negative energies and stress. I do it often at work, and it really helps.

If you want to try something more advanced, this technique also works with talking and singing.

Applying Substances to Your Body

Add energies directly to your body or clean away negativity.

If you are using soap, lotion, makeup, or any substance that is added to your body, try this brand of magic.

First, intensely visualize what you want to occur. It could be a beauty spell to clear skin and make it soft and delicate. It could be war paint to make you stronger, or a mask to glamour yourself. As you hold your cleanser/lotion/etc., you must simply believe that when you apply it, the effects you desire will take place.

Rub in clockwise circles to bring things (beauty, power, grace, protection) and counter-clockwise circle to take things away (blemishes, fear, clumsiness). If circles do not apply to what you are doing (as is the case with spritzing on perfume or applying eyeliner) do not worry about it, just do your thing along with visualization.

Once you are done applying your substance, seal this spell by saying “so mote it be” or any other closer you use. If the substance requires rinsing off, as is the case with soaps, do so after the closing.

This type of magic can be used when applying lotion, soap, cleansers, hair products, makeup, perfume, cologne, body sprays, etc.

Quick Object Enchantments

Good to make an everyday object magical in the short term.

This quick enchantment won’t last long but depending on your level of skill it should be good for an hour or two. Remember that the magical enchantment should reflect the mundane uses for the object. Use your glasses for an enchantment to see lies, or your shoes for an enchantment to stand strong.

Hold the object and vividly imagine what you want to happen. Find a center of power within yourself – for many it is the solar plexus or spine.

Using your imagination, visualize that some of that energy comes out through your hands and in to the object you are holding. Wildly and with an iron-clad will, truly believe that the object you are holding is being infused with magical intent. Absolutely see within your mind that what you desire to occur will occur when you use the item. There is no question about it – your enchantment will work.

As soon as you feel the true faith that your object is enchanted, seal the spell by saying “so mote it be” or your preferred method of sealing. Wear, use, or otherwise interact with the object as normal and its enchantments will take effect immediately.

10

I. Am. Absolutely. Disgusted.

A dear follower of mine pointed me in the direction of the Instagram post of Mark kissing Amy’s cheek, and told me to read the comments. What I was met with was absolutely appalling. It was a fine mixture of delusions of grandeur, inability to assess real life from fiction, and just a bunch of hate for Amy.

First of all, let’s talk about what I like to call the “Delusions of Grandeur,” or “Mark should be dating me!!”
No. He should not be dating you. Most everyone who writes these posts is 12 or below, and seem to think that they are 20-something, pretty, smart, and funny enough to be with Mark, and that by watching his videos, he is rightfully theirs. No. He is not yours. First off, he can’t date you because there are laws to stop 27 year olds dating 12 year olds. Second off, he does not owe you anything. He makes videos, you watch them, it’s all jolly good. But when you start thinking that he owes you anything, you’re 100% wrong. You are not a true fan if you really, desperately believe that Mark should be dating you.

Second of all, inability to assess real life from fiction, or, the dreaded Septiplier shippers. Sorry folks, but this ship is exactly why people started going against people shipping real people. The shippers start to lose hold on reality and start thinking that Septiplier is real, and that anyone who goes against their precious OTP needs to be killed. Well, listen. We’re in the real world here, and in the real world, Mark and Jack are both straight, and both have girlfriends. Your inability to understand a small joke between friends has basically driven them apart, by the way, so I really thank you for that.

Finally, I’d just like to say, that anyone who spreads hate in the Markiplier or Jacksepticeye community is no longer a part of it. They’ve been saying that from the beginning. So, your little hate rants against their girlfriends is not only disgusting, but excludes you from the fandom. Any rude or derogatory language towards Amy and Signe excludes you from the fandom. If you loved Mark and Jack that much, would you really be saying such things about the ones they love?

2

And the last two, Yellow Diamond and Holly Blue Agate! Yellow was…super difficult due to her limited palette but she was a fun challenge, especially making me work in the opposite color spectrum I usually go towards for shading when it comes to yellow! Going the green direction I feel makes her seem more intimidating and unfriendly, compared to if I went to the orange side.

Also I fucking love Holly Blue, she’s a real dick and I hope we see more of her and her clicky-clack boots soon enough. Hope you guys like!

The road to a Daesang

I will never forget the days when BTS was called a nugu group. At the time most fans like me couldn’t even be angry only saddened because in retrospect it seemed true. Every group has a rookie stage but the fact of the matter is that some groups are privileged enough not to have a “nugu” stage. They will never be a “who?” Because they will always be “JYP’s rookie” or “SM’s rookie” or “YG’s rookie” never a nugu. Of course they work hard, probably harder than any of us could imagine, but their company is ready to back up that hard work. Bighit was no such company. They did not have a successful idol to pave the way for BTS and BTS was literally either going to make or break the name of Bighit’s idol history. It seemed though, that BTS was never going to make it.

Namjoon has said it before many people doubted them. Who can forget when Bfree dissed them saying their music was just glitter and makeup and fake hiphop? Who could forget when ARMYs were not big enough to be respected by other fandoms and got pushed to the side? Who can forget when we were made fun of and embarrassed because “bulletproof boy scouts” was a strange name? Who could forget when Boy in Luv was runner up for 1st place and BTS had planned a whole ceremony for when they won only to come 2nd? But let’s say we do forget that and move forward or we see the good in all of it.

They won the rookie award. That was just the beginning. In order to throw off the nugu title BTS grinded their teeth and never stopped pulling. Songs that shooed the haters away (Born Singer and Cypher pt.3) songs that broke down the woes of society in both older people (N.O) and younger people (spinebreaker). They produced music that screamed for the people who couldn’t: no bs, no sugarcoating things just plain and simple art.

After hitting it big with (arguably) “I Need U” and getting their first win it was harder. Scandals about death threats, health issues, stress and lack of sleep, crazy fans, and probably most heartbreaking is plagiarism. A korean fansite even gave screenshots when you type “plagiarism” in korean on youtube the related word is BTS. And as much as a fandom gets bigger problems arise also. People dissing ARMYs and calling them the new annoying fandom. It was all hard on the fandom and all especially hard on the boys.

So us ARMYs would like to thank BTS. Thank them for not ever stopping when they were called nugus. Thank them for not ever shying away from loud, true music and strong messages. Thank them for taking care of each other. Thank them for pulling through each and every scandal in a mature way, apologizing when needed and ignoring direct confrontation of hate when needed. We want to thank them all.

Namjoon for always being rational, for putting his name out there for scrutiny and running around promoting BTS like crazy (honestly who had as many show appearances as Namjoon? He had the most solo activities and all for the name of BTS, he carried that burden) He was always humble and calm, the first to apologize, even for a death threat. A threat to his life and he put others first. He always includes international ARMYs as best as he can, a leader with a big heart.

Seokjin for never complaining and picking a fight about his lines. For quietly taking care of the group in the sidelines. Carrying their small luggage items, making them food even when he’s tired, complimenting them. The time he said he acted younger sometimes and he wanted to be brighter, because who could run through thick hardships when the eldest was down? Probably nobody, so he puts on a smile even while tired or hurt all for the team.

Yoongi for caring. Despite the image people have made saying he is apathetic Yoongi worked hard to create masterpieces. He worked hard to even out line distribution and still works hard to help members get recognition for their skill and hard work. Even if he’s one of the most hard working.

Hoseok for helping everybody on the way while improving himself. He is always listed as the energy that keeps BTS going. He was not a rapper at first but he worked until he could be accepted as one until he could even be called a skilled rapper. Even during this busy process he helped people with their dance, opened an ear to listen to others’ struggle and become their sunshine. To the ARMYs he only ever smiles and tells them not to worry, while hiding his own struggles he smiles and erases those of others.

Jimin for overcoming doubt. The biggest challenge anybody could have is to stand strong and correct themselves. He watched people leave his fansites blanks only because he lost his abs. But did he get depressed? No. He danced and smiled and sang and forced himself to go forward and break the image of “abs” to become Park Jimin and now he is the most accepting person. He truly believes compliments and being kind will make a better world and he shows that.

Taehyung for never losing himself. They judged his behavior as rude or even recently he was called abusive just because he wears his emotions on his sleeve and displays his affection openly. He never stops smiling and to a world of sad or hate filled people he becomes a target, yet he never let that bring him down and he never (even when he is smart and had much sadness to carry) he never put it on others.

Jungkook for beating his shyness and leaving his family at a young age to be the “Golden Maknae” for working himself harder and harder in order to perfect every aspect he could. For hiding his hardships and saying he could indure physical or even mental drainage just for his hyungs and ARMYs.

BTS made this Daesang theirs. They climbed, literally, from the bottom and whenever a member fell they picked him right back up and carried him through. They all pulled an incredible weight and ignored pain or hate to make their name and spread their music that is what made this Daesang their own. That is what will continue to bring them amazing awards as a physically manifested proof of their work.

And P.S to ARMYs: thank you. To the old who never left, and the new who brough incredible joy and strength and energy and skill to the fandom. Let us remember what BTS always tell us, that we are part of the team that makes the dream come true. We’ve been called annoying and had to apologize for things we did not do in the name of our fandom and boys. So let’s stay united and strong instead of hating or judging or conparing let’s simply love and appreciate the 7 boys ♡ oh and… not to be dramatic or anything but since it’s the season: let’s make it happen again (*whispers* Vote BTS on MAMA 😂)

Lauren Mayberry, CHVRCHES

What inspired you to get involved with The Ally Coalition?

I was aware of the work that these guys had being doing for a while and the other guys in the band weren’t in town initially so my friend Joey is going to play some cover song withs me. It seems like a really nice way to get a lot of people together and raise money for a thing that is really important, especially in the stressful political times in which we live.

Who has been an ally in your life?

In the kind of work that we do, you find who your friends are quite easily, and I’m lucky enough to have some long term friends from Home who are always ready to tell you when you’re being an asshole, and also always ready to tell you when someone else is being an asshole.

What’s a takeaway that you want people to have?

I think one of the most important things especially right now is that just because something doesn’t affect you directly doesn’t mean you don’t have to care about it, and more people talking about things and supporting each other is incredibly important and I think that something like this raises awareness and makes people hopefully feel less alone, but also hopefully galvanizes people to work together and make change.

I can’t believe no one is talking about that Galra planet

You know, Zarkon’s HOME PLANET???!!

BIRTH PLACE OF THE BLACK LION???????

GUYS ARE WE TOO CAUGHT UP OH SHIPS AND STUFF TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS WAS PROBABLY THE PLACE WHERE THE GALRA EMPIRE AS WE KNOW IT WAS BORN????

AND THE FACT THAT IT’S NOW BLOWN TO FREAKING BITS???????

Idk guys, it seems like some pretty important backstory that maybe hopefully will be explained more in season 3 or something. Im not smart enough to think about these things too seriously beyond half baked theories, so someone smarter should come up with something.

Tiny, Rambly Rant

This can’t be said enough:

Eliminate mundane causes before turning to the supernatural.

And I can understand how that would seem counter-intuitive, but let me explain you a thing …

When one takes up the craft they often feel like a whole brand new world opens up to them. Everything changes, and nothing will ever be the same, and we sometimes take this new attitude and apply it to everything. Everything becomes magical and everything has an underlying magical aura.

This is something a decent craft teacher will stop with a newspaper to the nose. *smack*

When we flip the perception, and look at everything with mundane suspicion, we are actually less likely to miss the woo. By eliminating all of the mundane causes for a thing, you also eliminate that pesky doubt you keep hearing me grumble about. You are more sure about what you’re dealing with, and can act accordingly.

For example:

I wear hematite to help with my social anxiety. They’re really energy sensitive. It is said that when they’re overwhelmed they shatter.

They are also pretty fragile and if you smack it against everything, of course, it’ll shatter.

So, when a ring breaks off my hand and I know that I’ve just been literally running into shit for the last couple of weeks. I know that it’s because gravity plays favorites, and I’ve accidentally put too much force on it.

But when a necklace that has just been sitting on my bedside table, protecting the homestead goes kaboom without being knocked around, dropped or otherwise provoked, then I know something is up.

Saturating your world with a perceived magical-ness, weakens your senses. It desensitizes you to what is out there. I recommend picking up a deliberate, goal oriented practice as opposed to a wild, come-what-may, practice. Trust me, if you’re open, the fuckery will come to you, you don’t have to go looking for it.

No, really though. Go see a doctor if you feel physically weird. Go see a mental health professional if your brain feels off. Eliminate the non-magical causes, first, and then start to investigate the supernatural.

I hope that ramble makes sense.

-St.

“I love you.” she said. “I love you that it was the hardest for me to let you walk away so easily. I don’t want to see your back against me and I can’t pretend that it’s alright with me. To hear you said the words which sound like my worst nightmare and seems to threaten my world. I don’t want to listen as those will crush every part of my being to pieces. Words are never enough to describe how much it hurts. I love you, that even if it will take time for me to accept the truth, I will still do the thing that’ll make you happy. Just like what I’ve promised from the very start.” she breathed so hard and stared at his eyes. She looked at her world as she cried silently. She touched his cheek with her hand and put her forehead on his. She closed her eyes and for a moment, all of their precious memories came crashing back. And like diamonds, she buried them deep down and hope that no one will see it except for her. As she opened her eyes, she said the last words she thought she will never say, “I am letting you go. Yet I will never say goodbye. Because I still believe that, someday, we will meet again. And I hope, that maybe then, you’ll be happier. Maybe then, I’ve moved on. Maybe then, my heart is whole again.” With that, she took a step back and turned her back on him. She started walking away and looked at the only star in the sky. She smiled, and as her tears kept on falling down, she whispered, “I love you.” Again and again until her eyes got tired of crying.
—  ma.c.a // Yes, I Do

Congrats on this crazy huge milestone, Jack!

I want to say something, because I haven’t ever properly done it before… so uh. Jack, if you see this. I want you to know that you honestly saved my life. Probably several times. I can’t remember when I started watching your videos, and I don’t know if that’s just because I feel like I always have been or if my sense of time is really that bad. But in any case… I can say with confidence that you have been a beacon of light at my darkest moments. I don’t watch your videos as much as I’d like to, because I’m sorta convinced that I’ll ruin it for myself somehow, but every time that I do watch I can’t help but feel happy at least for a little while. Thank you doesn’t seem good enough, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

And thank you to everyone in the community that has ever given me support as well. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.