that pun was a bit of a stretch

Steve’s Jacket (Steve Rogers/Reader)

This is based off of something that happened to me in all my past relationships, and I feel like everyone has this moment in a new relationship after the first piece of clothing is given/stolen.

Warnings: Kind of angst, fluff afterwards, Steve being a nerd, I think there’s a swear word, y’all’re a bunch of drama queens at the end, and death mentions (non graphic).

Words: 1271

The last thing Steve Rogers expected when he opened the door to your shared room after a two week long mission was you in tears, but that’s exactly what his eyes were met with in that exact occasion.

“Woah, hey, (Y/N), what’s wrong?” He rushes to your side, sitting down on the bed where you lay bundled up under three blankets. You give him no acknowledgement besides a small glance and an even deeper frown. “Sugar, you’re gonna need to tell me what’s wrong or I’m afraid I’ll have to drown you in oceans of hot chocolate,” he says in a jokingly threatening voice you had dubbed his captain voice.

“Nuh uh.”

“To the telling me what’s wrong or the hot chocolate?”


“I guess I have to go grab the Swiss Miss, then.” He presses a small kiss to your forehead and stands up, but before he goes, he hears a thud. He turns around and sees you, three blankets still wrapped tightly around you, laying on the floor.

“…I can explain.” You wiggle around a bit until your arms are free and you can pull your upper body out of the fluffiness you had encased yourself in. You look up at him and continue, “I forgot why I was so warm and cozy and wanted to go with you, but— as you can see— I have literally landed in quite a pickle.” He snickers at your pun and helps you out of the rest of the bundle with a smile stretching across his face.

“Okay, oh nimble one, hot cocoa and story time.”

Fifteen minutes later, you’re sat down in the dimly lit, empty dining room of Stark Tower with your boyfriend, a mug of hot cocoa, and a soft smile upon your face (along with the now dried tears). You take a sip and sigh at how amazing it feels to have the warmth of hot cocoa rushing through you. You take a deep breath, wondering why the hot cocoa only tasted this good when Steve had made it, then you tell him what he wants to hear.

“I washed your jacket.” You look down and gnaw at the inside of your lip, still mad at yourself for doing so.

“You what? You’re sad because you did the laundry?”

“No, it’s— Steve, this is gonna sound so stupid, honey,” you mumble, putting your head in your hands, the mug placed gently on the table so you could still feel the heat on your face.

“(Y/N), just tell me. I promise, whatever it is, it’s not going to be that bad.” He has a sincerely worried look on his face, so you decide that you should just let him in on it.

“You gave me that jacket before you left for the mission so you could always be here with me,” you say, quoting his words. He had this certain smell to him that the jacket possessed as well—  like freshly cut apples and clean laundry and something (that was mostly his cologne) that you could only describe as Steven Grant Rogers that was extremely comforting to you. You had slept with that jacket every night, reminding yourself hopefully rather than honestly that he was alive and going to come back for sure.

“So… what’s the big deal about a jacket?” He cocks his head, honestly not understanding the sentimental value.

“Well… We’ve been dating for, what, two months now? And you’ve already gone off on two really dangerous missions and losing that one thing I had of you, the trademark Steve scent on that jacket, made me feel like if something happened to you, I would have nothing to remember you by besides memories. Like… Yeah, it’s your jacket, but it’s only your jacket because you must have worn that every time you weren’t suited up,” you ranted, tears welling up in your eyes again at the thought of losing him.

“If my clothing and my— what’d you say? Trademark Steve scent?— mean so much, you can take the clothes off my back for all I care. I didn’t know you were so worried about losing me, (Y/N).”

“How could I not be? You’re a hero, and where there’s a hero, there’s like a bajillion people trying to stop them and hurt them and… and… ki… kill them,” you force out, your voice cracking like crazy. Tears spill over, but before you can even try to lift your hand and wipe them away, Steve gets out of his seat and rushes over to you, pulling you up to stand for a tight hug.

“Nothing is ever going to get close to me as long as I remind myself that I’ve got you to come home to.” He kisses the top of your head a few times before pulling you up so you’re standing and his face is buried in your hair. He slowly strokes your hair, letting you cry into his shoulder for as long as you need. Once you stop, he places one last kiss to your forehead and says, “I think you need some sleep, ma’am.”

“I think I do, too, Captain.” You giggle and rest your head on his chest, looking up into his eyes. “But suddenly I’m feeling… faint,” you dramatically put your hand over your forehead, laughing even harder.

“Well, what kind of Captain would I be if I didn’t take care of this practically exhausted civilian?” He scoops you up into his arms bridal style, laughing with you as he leads you off to your room again. When you arrive, he sets you down on the bed and walks away for a moment to open the closet.

“What are you doing?” You try to peer over or around his frame, but that’s practically impossible. When he turns around, he’s holding a pair of his sweatpants and an old t-shirt of his that had a band he couldn’t name one song from on it.

He holds them out to you, jokingly saying, “If you wanted the trademark Steve scent, you could have just raided my closet.”

“I have your consent to go closet shopping anytime I want?” You turn around so you could change into his clothes, an appreciative smile plastered on your face.

“Of course. And I’ll wear that jacket every day for as long as it takes for it to smell like me again,” he offers. You turn around, the baggy clothes on your frame making his eyes go wide with pure adoration.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to me…”

“My still damp shoulder gives me a very good guess as to how much, but I won’t assume.” He nods towards the bed. “Now, it’s bed time. We’ve both had very long days and I want nothing more than to smell your shampoo while I cuddle you.”

“Does that mean there’s a trademark (Y/N) scent, too?” You try to smell a bit of your hair, not remembering what scent your shampoo was.

“Let’s not get into that right now, sugar, or we’ll never get any sleep.”

You both pull the thick comforter up and cuddle close to each other, locking together like two pieces of a puzzle. It just felt right— being so close to your favorite person who was basically a personal heater and cuddle buddy bundled into one perfect super soldier.

Before you doze off, you hear him mumble a small, “I love you”. His arms tighten around you a bit, securing you to him. Only one more thing is said between you two before sleep takes over.

“I love you, too.”

  • James, after a long day of deer puns: I'm tired but I DOE-nt want to go back to the dorm.
  • Remus: that's a bit of a stretch. Even for you.
  • Sirius: *applauds from another room*

mistress92  asked:

OKAY I JUST WATCHED "When Harry Met Sally" AND THAT SCENE WHERE SALLY FAKED AN ORGASM IN THE DINER TO PROVE GUYS CAN NEVER TELL WHEN GIRLS FAKE IT AND HARRY WAS JUST SO SHOOK! Can you PLZ show how the UF bros, SF bros, UT!Sans, and US!Pap would react to their fem crush doing that to them!??! Like they're SO sure they can tell when a woman fakes it but then the crush laughs and just fucking STARTS MOANING AND WHIMPERING! AND BEGGING FOR IT AND THEN SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP FAKES SO PERFECTLY HELP! XD





Oh my god, poor Red. Poor, poor Red. He’s not embarrassed about you doing this in public, but he’s so SHOOK. The skele has been SHOOKETH. He recounts all the times he has sex with a woman and oh god, his life is a lie. Maybe he’s not the one that doesn’t call, but THEY don’t want him to call afterwards. Oh no, he’s slipping into an existential crisis. Please save him. 


Oh man, Fell is just so smug. He doesn’t care about the audience, but he’s in completely denial that a woman ever faked it with him. No, he can’t tell the difference, that is true, but he’s the GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! No one would ever dare fake such an intimate thing with him, in fact, they should be honored that he let them touch him in the first place! 



NO STOP THAT RIGHT NOW YOU’RE EMBARRASSING HIM! While you do your fake orgam in the restaurant, Black covers his ears(?) and screams really loud to drown out your voice and save himself from having to witness this. He does not want to believe that women can fake an orgasm, otherwise he’ll start to feel really insecure about himself. You two are not allowed back into the restaurant. 


Oh my gosh, Rus is blushing so hard right now. And he’s thinking about so many dirty thoughts, particularly of him making you make those noises. His cheeks are burning and he’s just watching you in shock and oh geez, he just wants to crawl into a hole and die because the whole restaurant is looking at him strangely. There’s even a woman giving him bedroom eyes. Please stop, you’ve made your point. 



UHM. Classic is trying to keep his cool with his easy going smile and coming up with puns for this, but oh my gosh he’s freaking out and wants to be anywhere but here. When you’re done, he excuses himself to the restroom and just screams because what in the actual fuck. 



Papy is not fazed one bit. He just keeps sipping his drink while you make those super hot noises, not caring about all the other people around him. Ahhh so that’s what you sound like. When you finish, Stretch leans across the table, and grabs your chin. 

“Let’s get out of here and you’ll be making those sounds for real tonight.” 

A good while later...

Ubel sighed as he leaned against a tree in the forest. It has been a few hours since the attack from that Lucario and the ambush of that Gothitelle He and the others spent most of that time trying to help Hecate calm down. She clung to Morri ever since, and it took some convincing for her to let go. The hybrid’s fist clenched, hitting against the tree behind him hard, causing the bark to rattle. Morri was this close….this close to….and he wasn’t able to do a thing. 

Meanwhile Morrigan sighed, she’d sat with Hecate a good while once everything had calmed down, comforting and calming the child with the help of Ubel, Merick, and Lugh. It took a good few hours… and many bad jokes from Lugh but eventually she was laughing and smiling again….. and unfortunately she also seemed to be getting a grasp on what puns where too. 

After a while though she noticed Ubel had wondered off somewhere… she couldn’t help but feel a pang in her heart at his absence. Seeing Hecate was now smiling and playing happily with Merick and Lugh, the blue canine seemingly able to put his antagonizing of the Gallade on hold for the pup’s sake at least, she stood up and excused herself, she could stand to stretch her new legs a bit anyway, she was getting pins and needles just sitting there “I’ll be right back, my legs are feeling a bit stiff" 

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theoverjudgingotaku  asked:

How would the UT, US and UF react when they find out that their S/O was arrested because thyr shoplifted a lot of *insert something the skeles may or may not like i.e. ketchup*?



Sans is scolding you for doing something so stupid, but he’s doing it seriously. He’s actually laughing a lot on the inside, and loving you so much. He easily convinces the judge to let you out without paying bail with his puns. He asks if you managed to get some anyway, then celebrates when you two get home. 


Papaya is hardcore scolding you and is very angry! He’ll pay your bail, but isn’t talking to you for the rest of the day, but within a few hours, he accepts your apology, and asks you to not do it again. He forgets all about it the next day. 



Blue is so mad at you right now! He thought that you were above stealing! He does find it a little bit funny and endearing that you stole for him, but don’t do it again! 


Awh man, Stretch is just laughing and giving a pat on the back! He doesn’t encourage stealing, but man, he’s gonna give you tips on how to not get caught next time. And maybe he’ll tag a long too to watch your back. Man, this is a story for the kids one day. 



Are you some kind of idiot?? You did it wrong! Red teaches the proper technique of stealing to ensure that you won’t be caught again, then he pulls you into a deep kiss, because, wow, you’ll steal and go to jail for him? That’s hot. 


Fell is 100% done with you. If you’re going to steal, at least do it right. He’s embarrassed that you got caught and threatened the police officers to never mention this again and destroy the records. Afterwards, Fell teaches you how to be stealthy. 

brokensans  asked:

2 skeletons walk over the kinda smaller one wearing a red and black hoodie says "hey I'm sans" the taller one with the purplish blue scarf says "and I'm his older brother papyrus we're new here and just wanted to say hi to everyone and if there is anyone here that we should avoid" papyrus said 'avoid' in a bit of a worried tone

“JUST HOW MANY SKELETONS DID YOU BRING HERE, VANILLA?!” Edge bellows, spinning toward classic Sans, who holds his hands up, palm-out.

“….. a skele-ton.”  His grin broadens with the over-used pun, while Edge’s eyesocket begins to twitch uncontrollably. 

“YOU NEED TO TAKE A TRIP TO THE FABRIC STORE, BROTHER!  TO GET SOME NEW MATERIAL!!  NYEH HEH HEH!!”  Papyrus takes a moment to triumphantly pose, while Sans and Stretch both give him a thumbs up, and Edge throws his hands up in exasperation.  With a jovial bounce in his step, Papyrus approaches the newcomers.  “HELLO NEW FAMILY!  I AM ALSO CALLED PAPYRUS!  AND THAT’S MY BROTHER, SANS!  THERE’S NO NEED TO AVOID ANYONE!  WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!”

“personally, there’s too many of us running around here to begin with, but that’s science-boy’s problem.”


Axe cheerfully flips Blackberry off.

I’m collab’ing with @kamiiireru​ for her Yandere!Frisk doujinshi!  Have you guys seen her art?  It’s fantastic!  I’ve written a scene out and got permission to post it up here, and she’s going to be posting up pages of the doujinshi soon.  I most def recommend checking her out!  I know I’ll be reblogging things from her in the future.  

Some things about this doujinshi/the writing below:
It’s Frans.  
* Frisk is gendered.  
* Frisk is 18, and Sans is 21.  

If any of that isn’t your cup of tea–cool.  Please keep scrolling, and have a delightful day.  

This scene is pure, cute fluff before it all goes to hell.
Scene’s below the cut.  I don’t have a mobile link for you right now.  

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anonymous asked:

Mikleo "innocently" eating ice pop and definitely not trying to turn Sorey on

Warnings for suggestiveness. 

(The actual prompt here ended up rather short, so it’s mostly build up tbh. I’m still happy with it tho.)

(did i seriously make a star wars joke wtf even)

The trip to the beach had been planned, re-planned, audited, canceled, then rescheduled a dozen times over. Turns out, it was near impossible to find a time when a gaggle of college students could all spend a weekend on the coast. But somehow, they managed it.

They packed into Rose’s truck, having more people than seat belts, squished together awkwardly. Mikleo ended up on Sorey’s lap, which neither minded, but the rest of the group made puking sounds whenever they kissed. To which they responded with more kisses.

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The Last Will and Testament of Alejandro Amadeo Charles Gonzales McClain

Lance is insanely dramatic when he’s sick. There’s nothing Keith can do but indulge him.

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: Lance has many names and no one can convince me otherwise.

{read here on ao3}

The sound of sniffles echoing through the room is a constant background noise by now. Normally it irritates the living hell out of Keith, but they’ve been happening so long that he’s managed to tune them out.

But that doesn’t stop his hunt for a fresh box of tissues.

Across the room, Lance whines. It’s high and needy, muffled by the blanket cocoon he’s in, but loud none the less. He kicks his feet against the bundle of fabric around them and sticks his face out just enough to pout at Keith.

“Hold on, I’m trying to find the other box,” Keith says, holding a hand up. It’s not where he thought it was, not on the table by the door where it usually sits. He’s gonna have to text Hunk to find out.

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anonymous asked:

The ut, uf, us, sf brothers react to the human (frisk or chara depending on their world? ) walked up to them points at their shoes and yelled ''what are thooooooose! ?''😂😂

–> Sans: yes. He is a proud dunkle. He carries Frisk on his shoulders all around the underground, waiting too see some ridiculous shoes. They do this to Grillby, Undyne, papyrus, and Mettaton. Grillby does the gun fingers saying “I’m still hotter than you”, Undyne laughs until her sides hurt. Papy is confused then crashes like a computer because the child is now turning into a miny sans. Mettaton does a split and says “this is what fabulous looks like darling! ”
–> papyrus: does not cumpute. After a tense stare down, he yells at Sans for being a negative influence and storms off, only to realize that now half of the underground is doing this.

–> Red: “oho my God, boss, come see this.” He’s knee slapping and laughing so much he almost falls off of the chair. It’s not the wisest ideas to make jokes to everyone else in the underground, so you keep the jokes at home.
–> Edge: “I don’t have time for your puns and "memes”, Frisk. Go play with Sans.“ After Frisk is out of earshot he laughs a bit.

–> Blue: "Oh! These are my shoes, aren’t they cool? ” he’s oblivious for a while until later, and he’s crest fallen. His human.. No.. Their Sans of humor is so bad…
–> Stretch: oh my God yes. He buys the both of them sunglasses, and he and chara walk around saying this to everyone they make eye contact with.

–> Raspberry: “is that supposed to be a joke? You wanna know a better joke chara? You. You’re squishy and weak. I mean, skin.. Gross. You’re tiny. You’re smaller than me and you always will be.” He storms off in a major pout. He hates when his style is joked about or criticized.
–> Saffron: he has a lazy smirk on his face and ruffles charas hair. “Yeah.. We’re definitely keeping this one. I’m your new dad. This will be fun. ” they begin making jokes to each other nonstop.

On the 9th Day of Crackmas

This piece of trash is giving you~ A sequel to your favorite crack! Almost everyone that commented on this crack requested a sequel, and I’m a people pleaser, so here is a part two for Beyond the Line of Duty!

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8

FF | AO3

Later that evening, Adrien sat up with a groan, rubbing his eyes. His mouth tasted faintly of copper, and he glanced at his side table where fresh gauze was laid out. Swapping out the old gauze in his mouth, he glanced around for Plagg. His brain was still a little groggy from the anesthesia, and he wanted to make sure Plagg hadn’t gotten into anything while he was out of it.

“Plagg?” Adrien called, voice a little muffled from the gauze. A small set of ears poked out from under his blankets, and Adrien pulled them back to reveal his kwami stretching lazily.

“Finally off your loopy drugs?” He remarked with a yawn before floating up to eye level.

“Yeah,” Adrien ran a hand through his hair. “Anyfing happen?”

“Oh yeah. Your little friend from school came by to bring your homework, and you transformed into Chat Noir and carried her around the city. And you also defeated Hawkmoth. Congratulations,” Plagg said with his usual snark, and Adrien rolled his eyes.

“Haha, you coulda jus said no,” He grumbled, getting up and moving to his desk where his assignments sat in a neat pile with a little note from Marinette.

Get better soon! Signed, Marinette

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missrosiewolf  asked:

“If you tell me one more pun, I’m shoving you off of this bed.” w/ Fingon and his s/o? With Fingon making the puns?

“I was in a play called ‘Breakfast In Bed’ once.“

You threw your arm over your face with a defeated sigh. Fingon wouldn’t stop with the incessant puns and it was driving you up the wall. He just wouldn’t stop. He and Maedhros were having some competition concerning puns and you had had enough. You had enough sense to assume the competition was who would annoy their spouse until they got kicked out of the bed first.

However, this statement caught your attention and you looked over at him, sprawled out on the bed, shirtless as he gazed at the ceiling. Something was up but you didn’t quite know what. The silence stretched to the point where you just had to entertain what he had said. How on earth would he turn this into a pun?

“Did you have a big role?”

“No, just toast with a bit of butter,” he chuckled, looking over at you with a huge grin.

You palmed your forehead in aggravation. You should have known.

“If you tell me one more pun, I’m shoving you off of this bed,” you warned and he shrugged. 

The silence stretched on for a few paces, and just when you thought he was going to be quiet and go to sleep, he mumbles, “I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn’t been made up yet.” 


Episode 2: Taylor Swift's "Reputation"
REmediaL STUDIES Podcast
Episode 2: Taylor Swift's "Reputation"

A second episode! We’re just as shocked as you, we swear!

This week, we delve into Taylor Swift’s most recent studio album Reputation (as much as we can) and all the cans of worms that seem to have come with it.

Talking points: identity as construction, aesthetic over content, the tenuous and conditional acceptance of the female celebrity, the ACLU pun fest, can art ever be separate from the artist, lawful evil capitalism, and hey, Nazis are bad.

Also available on: iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play.

Episode 2 is up today! After a frantic two day stretch of recording editing, we have come back to you, ready to fill your ears with our dulcet tones. This episode got a bit more serious than the last one but we hope it’s just as entertaining! 

Our next episode will go live on 11/28 and will feature us waxing poetic about George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire.

In fact, asian teen stripping however to stay!

Here young can enjoy the sweet teen sex party video our two lovely lesbian dolls are about to pun on quite a show, come. Stretching her pink pussy to us, she love massaging them with the oil feeling on them, teenage porno video she’s a bit shy at first. Our two lovely lesbian dolls are about to pun on quite a show, come porn teen fat it’s not long before the action begins, check them out licking.ukraine teen porn
ML Rare Pair Exchange

In case you missed it, I participated in the rare pair exchange hosted by @miraculousexchange and wrote a fic for AO3 user dofensphinx (idk your tumblr if you have one sorry!) (edit: tumblr is blackshucksighted won’t let me tag for whatever reason) Be sure to read all of the fics written for this exchange cause I think everyone did an amazing job! But here is my entry, it’s some Chlonette fluff/humor, and I hope you enjoy it! ^^

FF | AO3

Just For You

“Remind me again why I agreed to do this?” Marinette sighed, examining herself in the mirror. She adjusted her yellow and black mask and tugged her pony tail tighter as Chloe emerged from the bathroom in her Ladybug costume.

“Because I asked you, silly.” Her girlfriend smirked, brushing her nose with her finger.

“But why do I have to be Queen Bee?” Mari folded her arms over her chest, pursing her lips while Chloe fixed her hair.

“Because I’m always Ladybug, and Sabrina has the Chat Noir suit,” She explained, cupping her face and pressing their foreheads together, bringing a slight blush to Marinette’s cheeks. “And you look cute. Now, let’s go. MAURICE!”

Chloe’s butler appeared around the corner, fitted with a dark mask of his own, and Chloe placed her hands on her hips with a wide grin. She was so into this, and Marinette pressed her lips into a firm line to keep herself from laughing. Never in her life could she have guessed Chloe was this big of a dork, but honestly it was amusing to watch. She only wished she didn’t have to participate.

“Your name is Dr. Evil-” Marinette snorted at the name, but Chloe rolled her eyes and continued, “And you’ve captured Queen Bee in your evil lair so Ladybug has to come in and rescue her.”

“Why do I have to play the damsel in distress?” Marinette grumbled as Chloe tied her hands behind her back with a scarf.

“Because Ladybug is always the hero,” Chloe chided, gently directing her to sit on the floor against the wall.

“Queen Bee is a hero too, ya know,” She said pointedly, and Chloe felt her cheeks warm slightly. She smiled down at her partner and leaned in to nuzzle her nose with her own.

“Just play along, for me?” She cooed, and Marinette glared grumpily in the other direction.

“Okay,” She caved, and Chloe straightened up excitedly, rushing to the door.

“And…ACTION!” She called, pulling the door closed.

“I’ve got you now, Queen Bee, there’s no way out. Give me your Miraculous,” Maurice recited stiffly, gesturing half-heartedly.

“Never,” Marinette replied with equal enthusiasm. “My partner, Ladybug, will surely save me.”

“Did someone call for moi?” Chloe called, kicking open the door and rushing in, yoyo spinning at her side.

“Ladybug! You found my secret lair. Curses.” Maurice leaned his head back defeatedly.

“Ladybug, thank goodness you’re here,” Marinette said, throwing in a relieved sigh for added effect.

“Don’t worry your beautiful little head about it, my precious bee. I’ll take care of this villain and set you free in no time!” Chloe posed proudly, and Marinette bit back a smile.

“Kay,” She snickered.

As silly as she thought it was, Marinette had to admit that it was pretty cute watching Chloe throw fake punches and shout out corny puns. Her girlfriend was such an adorable little dork, and Marinette couldn’t hide the affection in her eyes when Chloe “defeated” Dr. Evil and rushed to her side. She untied Marinette’s hands and pulled her into her arms, holding her tightly.

“Are you alright, my love?” She murmured in her ear, pulling back and pressing her nose to Marinette’s with a warm smile.

“Better now that you’re here,” Marinette giggled, stretching up to steal a quick kiss. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Anytime,” Chloe winked. “Oh no! I used my Lucky Charm, and I’ve only got one spot left! Now you’ll see my true identity!” Chloe pulled off her mask and tossed it aside. “It’s me!”

“You’re such a dork,” Marinette leaned her head back and laughed before pulling Chloe in and peppering her cheek with soft kisses causing her to squeal in delight.

“Maurice, we’re done now, you can leave.” She ordered, waving him away.

The butler removed his mask and bowed politely before pacing back through the front door, pulling it shut behind him. Chloe turned back to Marinette, running her fingers through her hair gently before leaning in for another kiss that Marinette welcomed.

“You know, you look really cute as Ladybug too,” She whispered against her lips, and Chloe grinned.

“Thanks for playing with me while Sabrina is sick,” She said sweetly, snuggling against her side, and Marinette wrapped her arms around her with a playful sigh.

“Anything for you.”

that1nkyone  asked:

Have you heard of the 'Sans and Papyrus were once Gaster, but he was split in two' theory/AU? I'd love to see you do something based on that, with any of your own AUs!

hmmmmmm lets see about an alternate to the Secretary AU… just a warning this is a bit of a stretch but i like the idea

It was always a mystery to her, how much they knew or remembered. 

“Papyrus” - the tall half - had his problem solving skills and bumbling speech pattern (at least at first), but none of his love for science or bad puns. Every now and then he’d say something reminiscent of the man she knew, but it never lasted. He’d remember a small detail or a passing comment would sound just like him…

“Oh! Be careful not to slip on that particular puddle near Gersons!” He’d say as she left, despite not knowing who Gerson was or having met the old turtle

He’d go through her cabinets and grab things despite having only been living in her house for a week or so. 

Or, mostly damning to herself, he’d call her by one of the dozens of nicknames She’d been called by him over the years

“Tuffie” “Bitsy” and “Diddy” (for her last name, Didiot) Frequently came from Papyrus, though he never seemed to notice the usage. Not to her knowledge, anyway

Sans however, definitely did. He had Gasters analytical mind, the scientific inclination. Oh, and the puns. He usually just feigned his way through things, catching her off guard with tidbits of personal information. he seemed to time them to let her know that, no matter how much she tried to fake their “amnesia”, he had at least an inkling of what happened. 

“Make sure you renew your eyeglass prescription with Doctor Kevgil” He’d mention, without her ever telling him her doctors name. 

“Halea’d be proud” he complimented once, nearly making Tuffet drop her coffee. Had she ever mentioned her mother? By name of all things? 

But perhaps, the worst part was when Papyrus went on a wondrously optimistic ramble about how he and his brother were the best team in the underground, and Sans commented

“*heh, yeah bro. Its like we’re two halves of the same whole” 

They socket-to-eye contact after he said that created a sinking feeling in her stomach

It wasn’t long after that Sans found out how to access Gaster’s gold and move the two of them out. They barely even said goodbye before headed off to Snowdin

Sans hasn’t spoken to her since, but at least Papyrus still calls 

Getting to Know Yourself: Chapter 2/8

Tags: Thomas/Logan, Thomas/Patton, Thomas/Roman, Thomas/Virgil, no jealousy, Edging, Tickle Fights, Bad Puns, dad jokes, lots and lots of cuddles, Blow Jobs, fantasy times, unexpected self-esteem issues, Logan’s Plan™, accidental date, Cliffhangers, negative self-talk, cursing
Notes: First, thanks to my amazing beta, BFF, and queer platonic life partner, @randomslasher. Without her this wouldn’t exist, as I got the initial idea from her! And she was an immense help all the way through. Also thanks to @parsnipit, who is the best cheerleader anyone could ask for! Her flailing gives me life.
Heed the warning, there’s definitely explicit sex scenes contained within. But also lots of feels, puns, and Roman being unbelievably extra.

In which Thomas (the fictional, exaggerated version of himself Thomas plays in the videos, not the real Thomas) gets to know his sides better than he’d ever expected, and finds out they each have something to teach him about sex, intimacy, and relationships.

Chapter 2: Patton

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Ward Meachum HeadCanons: Did Ward vote for Trump? and possible asexual tendencies in canon.

So rewatching the show and Ward gives an interview to a lady reporter about Danny wanting to sell  medicine at cost and the scene is set up like this typical sleezy CEO trying to get his co-worker in trouble and having a late night bourbon with a hot reporter.  He even says a line that Danny is worse than these “bleeding heart liberals”.  Ok so I think you can interpret it both ways here.  Ward could have very well voted for Trump.  He embezzles employee pension accounts, I mean whats more corrupt billionaire than that.  But there’s also a line that he says about funding years worth of research if they sold the medicine at what he originally proposed.  I know the show is framing it like were supposed to take Danny’s side (”no one should profit off of the suffering of others”) but bitch the scientists who made the medicine have to get paid.  They got families and college debt.  And if this funds further research I’m personally not opposed to some company making money off of it either.  Honestly I’m siding with Ward on this one because its the medical companies that buy it and they sell it at lower prices.  (I don’t pretend to understand economics and I’m sure there is an exploitative aspect to this so take my economic opinion with a grain of salt).  But the funding further research line really convinces me of Ward’s side.   Now I personally cannot stomach the idea that he would vote for Trumpy so I just like to think he didn’t vote at all or at least third party.  Hell he could have voted for Hilary because he knew his dad would hate it and any stab he could take at his dad (PUN FUCKING INTENDED) he would take.  Also if you notice the board room is pretty equal in gender in the show.  So i think he wouldn’t mind having a woman president (although thats like a really low bar).  I just can’t see him voting for Hilary intentionally.

As for the asexuality trait, okay its a bit of a stretch but again the scene with the reporter lady could have gone a very different way.  He invites her for a juicy story late at night, offers her bourbon flirtatiously, but she says no and leaves because bitch got a fucking story to write and she boss as hell.  And I’m so glad they didn’t go where I thought they were, like that’s just fucking boring. She leaves and Ward isn’t even disappointed.  He’s not bummed out that he didn’t get that puss, he just thinks he got Danny good.  I know its a bit of a stretch to read that as asexual because you can be allosexual and still have that same reaction (not everyone, even men, is DTF all the time).  But like, you know its nice to see a man be denied sex and he just takes it like “sure, okay”.  Maybe he’s even relieved that she doesn’t want to.  If anything I just appreciate that the writers set up a typical pre-sex scene and have a female character who is opportunistic but doesn’t sleep with a guy just because he gave her a front page story.  And have a male character react to denial of possible sex as no big deal.