that probably would have been better

anonymous asked:

So apparently the cockatiels I might get are being fed right now a mix with sunflower seeds & other seeds in it (Kaytee Forti Diet Pro Health Bird Food for Cockatiels). I know 'tiels REALLY shouldn't be eating seeds because they're too fatty! Should I still give them this mix and quickly try to get them used to pellets/fresh fruits & veggies or should I immediately switch to something else? I'm not sure what my procedure for weaning them off of this should be...

I’m not entirely sure either, someone else would probably be able to help you better. My conures were on a seed diet for the longest time and I’ve only started switching them to pellets n fruits/veggies recently. I’ve been mixing pellets in with their seeds to see if they’ll eat them, and they have been, so I’m not sure what to do if your birds wouldn’t appreciate the taste of pellets.

I did a quick google search, and I found techniques for getting birds off of a seed diet, things like swapping out seeds for pellets and back again throughout the day, and mashing up the pellets with a lil bit of water and putting treats in the resulting mush, and offering pellets while outside the cage. As for fruits and veggies, an article says if they trust you and see you eating some too, they might be more willing to try it. I can’t say if it’d work well for your birds or not.

I think it’s important that they learn to trust you first, and then work on slowly changing their diet. Make sure they’re actually eating the pellets though, you don’t want to starve your birds by taking away seeds, so you need to make sure seeds are still available every day in case your bird decides not to eat the pellets.

11 Questions

Round 2! 

I was tagged by @jaygirl987!! Thank you!! 

1.) If you were stuck eating one kind of junk food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Probably Goldfish crackers. I have no self control when it comes to those.

2.) Breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Lately food in general has been such a hassle, but I would say…breakfast? You get some of the best foods for breakfast and sometimes breakfast for dinner is even better! 

3.) Which one of your senses would you be willing to give up?

Gah, none of them? That’s hard. Maybe taste, but it would be difficult.

4.) Would you rather go a year without rain or a year without sunlight?

Year without rain. Need me some sunlight. 

5.) What’s your favorite Disney movie?

Does Force Awakens count as a Disney movie? Jk, it’s Peter Pan.

6.) Favorite beverage?

I love orange juice but soda-wise it’s Mountain Dew (which I haven’t had for 9 months)

7.) Played any good video games lately? If so, which?

Oh goodness. The last video game I played was Heroes of the Storm with my husband for a date and it was pretty fun, but I’m really not good. Before that I played Dragon Age: Inquisition for a brief period of time and again, I sucked, but it was a wonderful game

8.) Bicycle or scooter?

Bicycle. 

9.) If you could give up your talent for another, what would it be?

I should probably be grateful for the talents I have, but I do wish I could sing better?

10.) Something that makes you gag?

Mold in the fridge. If it’s on any food at all I will stay away from the fridge for days

11.) If you could have any pet, mythological or real, what would it be?

I have the best pet in the world, a little pug mix named Boba :) 

Fran and Jock

by reddit user Pippinacious/ tumblr user muricanmagpie

I was the last in a long line of grandkids on both sides of the family. No one has ever said as much, but I’m pretty sure I was an “oops” baby; the result of one too many glasses of wine and a couple over forty who thought unplanned pregnancies were for teens.

Oops.

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The hero’s bond

I absolutely love the fact that Wolf Link is in Breath of the wild. So much so that I thought it would have been even better to have had regular TP Link helping BOTW Link during his quest. 

So naturally I though of the possible conversations they would probably have, and after some daydreaming I made the connection that they have both had “almost something” relationships.  

And then BOOM! This came out of my head, to my drawing pad, then to your eyes!

I might actually keep making these if I think of some more stuff like this.

But at any rate, hope you like my art!

Edit: I have started the series, give it a look why dontcha?

The hero’s bond “Teamwork” Part-1

SOME LESBIAN PIDGE HEADCANONS

Ya’ll been hitting me with that good lesbian pidge content so i’m gonna put more out there too.

• Pidge gets sUPER flustered around girls!!
• She’s only 14 and not super experienced?? So whenever a cute girl even talks to her she gets shy and blushy
• She isn’t super ready to start dating just yet but she just likes to remind everyone “man i love girls and i’m just!! A big lesbian! Just to remind everyone here!!”
• *rips off her sweater* “LESBIANS FOR LOCHNESS”
• When pidge gets a crush its super obvious to figure it out.
• She gets clumsy around them and messes up her words and probably accidentally broke one of her devices while talking to them.
• When everyone else finds out Pidge has a crush on someone they all flip out because “oh my god!! Our little sis has a crush!!”
• Lance would try to give her some flirting tips, but knowing Pidge, she obviously rejects that
• Lance: “oh my god do you wanna hear some advice?”
• Pidge: “I’d rather take my chances”
• Also pidge: “please i’m like 100x better at flirting with you, i could get 10 girlfriends in a week without your help!” *nervous laughter*
• Hunk would tease her but also give her some cliché advice that you hear in every show/movie
• Hunk: “ooo I knew you had a girlfriend”
• Hunk: “just be yoursel-”
• Pidge: “hunk I appreciate that but i’ve already heard that from like everything. Ever.”
• Keith: “i don’t know what else to say so…” *thumbs up* “good luck”
• Pidge: “wow thanks”
• Shiro would actually probably give her solid advice
• Shiro, *jokingly*: “if you want to succeed… don’t listen to lance’s advice about anything”
• Lance: “haven’t i been the only one who actually got kissed by a cute alien girl?”
• Pidge *softly*: “fuck, you’re right”
• Pidge also lowkey is jealous of Lance’s confidence around girls
• She just wishes she could be better socially tbh like she’s getting there but also- have you seen girls???

Thanks for reading please @ voltron fandom gimme that good lesbian pidge headcanons, art and fanfics.

exchanges (m)

Summary: In which Jeon Jungkook is that friendly neighborhood superhero, you’re the face in the hallway that saved his high school career, and he can’t ever seem to get a grip around you. Even when he makes you scream after a fated accident—not for the reason you may be thinking; get the thought out of your head! 
Pairing: Jungkook | Reader 
Genre: Fluff/Smut; Spiderman AU 
Word Count: 14,838
Author’s Note: Honestly though, it was only a matter of time before I got around to writing a story like this. I am obsessed with Spiderman, so this might just be the foundational guideline for many future Jungkook Spiderman AU drabbles to come in the future. 

The story was also heavily inspired by this photo that made me cry for seven days and seven nights. +photo credit !!!!!!!

.

(the present)

If Jeon Jungkook is against anything in his life, it’s one’s ability to exaggerate certain situations or problems to make those things seem much bigger than they probably were. Well, actually, take that back. It’s not that he’s against it per say, it’s just that his peer’s daily struggles of pop quizzes and missing the morning bus aren’t exactly headliner news—especially in comparison to what he has to go through.

Jeon Jungkook is against exaggeration, probably because he can’t get away with it himself. It’s not that he doesn’t like to exchange his fair share of embellished stories or fabricated events weaved into true experiences, it’s that he can’t afford to do so. Sharing stories of his nightly routines and dashing superhero adventures may seem great, but only if he could manage the burden of a personal life and a masked life intertwining.

As an 18-year-old boy, he can probably say it’s safe to assume that he cannot. Manage the overwhelming, opposite pressure both of his lives take him, that is. It’s difficult enough being a college freshman, a tiny fish in an ocean of whales and sharks, but throw in his late night Spiderman facade would be too much of a tale to share with other people and peers who probably ask too many questions and know too much about him. He’s never liked the exposure that comes with being in the spotlight, and he can’t hide behind his mask if people knew who he was.

Oh. Right. Speaking of his Spiderman facade, that’s who is he. Haven’t heard of him? You know, the dashing hero of Seoul, red and blue spandex attire with a web shooter, fine tuned senses and amazingly quick reflexes? The boy who swings around the city, volunteering for trouble and always coming out right on top? The boy who constantly maintains that casual, slightly amused tone throughout a majority of his rescues?

Yeah, well, that’s Jungkook.

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I don’t think a lot of people seem to realize that Kara’s family is actually just as bad if not worse then Lena’s. Her Aunt tried to enslave two worlds, her Uncle was a vicious murderer who not only tried to enslave two worlds but also tried to kill off humanity. Kara’s father created biological weapons and thought it was a noble pursuit worthy of praise. Her own mother used her to capture a loved one

Kara knows very well that the House of El was just as bad and misguided as the Luthors. And deep down inside she knows that if she wasn’t lucky enough to be considered “one of the good ones” they would treat her with the same prejudice, the same hatred and judgment people treat Lena. It would probably be even worse since she is an alien. She would have probably been killed outright or locked up to rot in a cell.

So I don’t think that Kara is just angry about the fact that her friends have no faith in her judgment or the fact that they are going after her friend. I think that  every time James or Winn or Maggie or J’onn attack Lena  Kara feels like this is an attack on herself as well.

And the worst part is that nobody seems to understand where Kara is coming from.Not even Winn who should really know better considering his father’s history . Not James who was framed for a murder he didn’t commit. Not J’onn who was unfairly hunted down just because he was an alien. They should all know better and yet they are just as judgmental as Snapper. Kara considers her friends the best people on the planet and this must be such a huge disappointment to her. It must break her heart and make her absolutely furious at the same time

I think the only one who understands to some degree was Alex. I think that’s why she didn’t join the witch hunt against Lena

but like despite the play’s many flaws ii have so much love for the cursed child version of draco though

he’s alone and hurt and grieving and repressed. at one point he admits that he envied harry because harry had actual friends, whereas he had cronies and connectionms who would have probably been in azkaban or not wanted to talk to him after the battle of hogwarts and everything that went down there. he grew up trying not to become like lucius and be a better person and arguably it succeeded but it cost him so much. he lost his reputation, his family, everything he might have had. no matter what, he would always be draco malfoy the ex-death eater who might have raised voldemort’s kid.

all he wanted was for scorpius to be happy and do well. and i think that’s admirable enough

everytime someone criticizes an art style of a show i just have to sit silently as, I–an animator–know art inconsistencies happen. Even in anime–esp since the animators are rushed for time.

Have u guys seen the sailor moon reboot (left) versus the blue-ray where they had more time in the world to fix their shit (right)?

imagine if your teacher was like “okay 12 page essay analyzing the all of the symbolism and metaphors in Shakespeare’s Hamlet” due tonight before midnight. You’d rush through the whole hecking thing–you’ve never read hamlet your entire life–you’d sparknote that shit–it’d be the saddest paper you’d ever turn in you’d probably get flagged down for grammar/syntax errors and plagiarism. That is what the networks are like to animators.

“But they get breaks so they have no excuse” It takes a week to animate 6-10 seconds, on “breaks” between new episodes is when they’re most likely working on new episode animation and most likely when a network has them on a deadline.

Alex Hirsh had to sleep under his desk when he directed gravity falls. What people fail to realize is that it’s A LOT OF WORK. If there’s art inconsistencies don’t blame the animators–blame the network big guys who give them no time to get a project done!  Can they go and fix it? Most of the time, no.  Would they go back and fix it if we could? Probably!!! What’s stopping them from fixing it? Keeping their jobs. Turning in something is better than nothing. And let’s not forget that most american animation is exported and done in korea, so on top of story-boarding they have to send it overseas so that animators can work on it. It’s a long process.

Don’t blame mistakes on what the big guys up there tell animators to get done.Things go wonky all the time especially if we’re rushed, that’s a human thing that happens. Ever been in a overly-busy Starbucks and they got your drink order wrong? Same situation. What Networks need to do is be more flexible on artists so that they can get their shows animated quality over quantity–not the other way around. But they have a schedule and they want things done quick–unfortunately. And that sucks for animators.

Snippet

This is something….. Basically it’s me wanting to write an AU where Jack never kissed Bitty and went on with his life and how they still found their way back to each other. I’ve been taking bits and pieces of this fic and putting them in different fics so there are a ton of holes but I keep thinking about it. 

The context for this is if Jack went up to visit his parents over the summer and he invited the team up because why the hell not????? It’s a WIP. I don’t have it all figured out yet. 


Ransom and Holster jump at the same time and the splash it creates reaches Alicia on the patio chair. She sighs and stands.

“I’m so happy you brought the boys with you,” she says dryly but she ruffles Jack’s hair as she goes by.

Jack waits a moment and follows her.

He closes the door behind him and she looks up with a smile from where she’s pouring more chips into a bowl.

“I’m glad Eric could come. Your father mentioned the two of you had some issues? Is that all worked out now? He seems pretty comfortable around you.”

“I think I could be in love with him.”

There’s dead air in the kitchen but beyond the sliding doors the world rages on.

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Harry Styles Vocal Health on SNL

Hello!  So first and foremost I wan to put out there how much I love Harry and his voice.  Dear god it’s SO COOL and unique.  I love how when he’s in good vocal health he has all these different textures to it- the gruffness of his chest voice, the purity of his falsetto, the power of his belt.  When the studio version of SOTT came out I couldn’t sing his praises enough.  His voice sounded SO HEALTHY.  He was making such good choices!!!  Everything was relaxed and well supported.  He let the song build naturally.  He MUST have gotten some solid vocal training over his break because that isn’t something that can just happen over night.  I was very impressed and very proud.  I was also a bit nervous to see if these changes would hold when he started performing live….and…..it looks like I had good reason to be nervous.  

Here’s the thing. There are a few reasons I’m so hard on Harry in particular when it comes to poor technique. First, compared to the other guys, his technique is the only one that’s actually physically DAMAGING.  Could the other guys benefit from proper training?  Sure.  Of course.  Every singer can.  Even those who have been singing for years still should train on a regular basis.  But the other boys’ bad habits are just that- bad habits.  They aren’t going to do long term damage, not the way Harry’s are.    The second reason is BECAUSE I know he can do (AND HAS DONE!!!!!) so much better!!   I know he’s CAPABLE of so much more and so yeah, I’m hard on him because of that. And finally, I know exactly what he’s doing physically and exactly what’s going through his mind because I have the same exact bad habits and I can see him using the same exact thought process as to why he slips into these again.

Harry is the Ultimate Performer. He wants nothing more than to put on a good show for everyone, even if that means sacrificing his own vocal health.  Now, that’s isn’t a HUGE problem…until it KEEPS happening.  Which is what happened with OTRA.  And possibly might be happening now, although that remains to be seen.  One performance of one song slips into an entire show of this slips into two shows of this slips into the entire tour and wham, you’ve got nodes.  I think the biggest problem with Harry’s performance last night is he doesn’t trust the material or HIMSELF to sell it the way it is.  He feels he needs to overcompensate and big Big and Bold right from the start and that song is not built to be sung that way.  He started at a level that he couldn’t sustain throughout the entire thing and had nowhere to go.  That’s when he ran into trouble.  

As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew it wasn’t going to go well.  Don’t get me wrong, he sounds fantastic in the beginning…but like I said, there was nothing for him to build upon because he already started it at too high a height. His voice sounded raspy to me too, raspier than usual.  That can be caused by a few things- he could have been dehydrated (you can’t sing right if you don’t pee white!), he could have been tired (we know he’s a morning person and that show is pretty late for him), he could have strained his voice at the concert the night before, he could have over rehearsed, he could have smoked a bit.  I don’t know what the cause was, but he didn’t start off the evening in the best vocal health, especially for a song that’s very difficult to sing.  I also think he KNEW that so again, he tried to overcompensate for that by pushing.  

There is so much tension throughout his whole body, particular his shoulders on up.  I’m sure a lot of that is due to nerves.  I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again: the SNL stage is one of the hardest venues for artists to play.  There’s something particularly rough about it.  He’s also always had problems tensing up his face when he sings, but it what was particularly striking to me was that he did it during the falsetto parts.  That should have been EASY for him to sing.  That’s something light and relaxed.  Almost a break from the tension of the rest of the song…and yet he looks like he was in pain.  Which makes me wonder if he WAS in pain.  it’s hard to tell, but it almost seems like the second time he does it he pushes it more to a mix than a pure falsetto. 

It’s notable to me how relaxed the second syllable of  “bullets” around 2:44-2:48 is compared to the rest.  THAT is what the whole thing should have sounded like.  it’s relaxed and he’s got a great vibratto on it that comes straight from the diaphragm there- compare that to how tight “bullets” are the second time he sings it in that phrase at 2:58ish-3:04.  Why did you change what you were doing, sir??? In fact, to me it seemed like he KNEW it sounded good the first time and did his cute li’l dance and then came back to it feeling like “yeah I got this…” and then tightened right back up again.  because he didn’t trust himself.  

Thennnnnn the bridge happens.  And this is what i mean by he had nowhere to go.  THIS should have been his first belt it out moment.  but he pushed too hard too quickly and his voice just…wasn’t there.  It was tired.  The first scoop up to the first “we” was off key because of it and I think he knew it which made it even worse and MORE tense to the point where he just didn’t have the vocal agility to flip into his fasletto again for “learn”.  And then we’ve got the “it’s just what we know” which was just a poor choice.  I have a feeling he nailed that MULTIPLE times in rehearsals and mannnnn if he was in good vocal health how killer would that have sounded!??!!?  But instead, we got what’s called harmonic distortion which is SUPER VERY YIKESY AND A BIG SIGN OF HOLYSHITYOU’REDOINGDAMAGE (i sincerely hope he has an appointment with an ENT this week and gets scoped to check that out).   This was another instance of him trying to put on a great show and overcompensate for what he probably felt was lackluster vocals (which for the record WERE NOT THAT BAD.  I’m picking it apart because…well, it’s what I do.  and i don’t think I would have had too much of a problem if it weren’t for the super damaging choices he ended up making).  

From there he’s thinking “Oh shit that was bad…I REALLY fucked up…better step up my game and make the end better!” and once again tries to overcompensate and push a voice that’s already been pushed to the brink.  there just wasn’t more in there for it to give.  He couldn’t sustain it.  He had already given everything that there was go to give.  

When it comes to ESNY, it was a much better performance.  I think it’s partially due to the fact that it’s an easier song to sing and partially due to the fact that he was playing guitar so he wasn’t as much in his head (Side note: CAN YOU BELIEVE HE FINALLY BLESSED US WITH HIS GUITAR SKILLS?????).  His belty part towards the end wasn’t as good as it could have been, but I think that’s just due to the fact that his voice was kinda shot and that’s the best it was going to be.  It wasn’t TERRIBLE and obviously it could have been better, but I am curious to hear the studio version to see if there’s more belting that he just wasn’t comfortable with last night.  I could have done without the facial affectations because it just adds more tension and tension is bad, kiddos  But I think it’s a stylistic choice and I’m trying to pick my battles here.  Additionally, as we’ve seen in gif form his li’l neck vein was popping out so yeah he was tensing up pretty good there…but again, it wasn’t as terrible as it could have been since the song itself isn’t as taxing vocally.  

All in all, the performances were great, especially if you’re not as picky as I am. I know this was his first time singing live in well over a year and SNL is high stress and it’s his first time out there ALONE.  I’m curious to see what happens on Graham Norton and if he improves his technique. I’m also really curious to see how he’ll be on tour as well. I do wonder if he’ll lower the key of SOTT so it’s not as taxing.  No one would really notice and it would make things a little easier on him. It’s just frustrating because I know he has it in him to do it well.  We’ve HEARD him do it well.  But he just doesn’t trust himself enough to do that and that kind of breaks my heart a little.  Thankfully, he’s young and has time to learn.  He can still break these habits and make new, healthier ones and learn to trust himself more.

BUDDY.  YOU GOT THIS.  YOU HAVE AN AMAZING VOICE.  YOU ARE A FANTASTIC SONGWRITER.  YOU HAVE GREAT TECHNIQUE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.  YOU ARE A KILLER SHOWMAN WITH A TON OF CHARISMA.  PLEASE TRUST THESE THINGS AND STOP PUSHING YOURSELF BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU DAMAGE ANYTHING.  

Love,

B <3 

mon el usually makes me bitter and annoyed every single episode but i’m fuming after this one and i’m gonna tell you exactly why

1) “i liked being a hero bc it meant i could be by your side” mon el should not want to be a hero just bc he’s horny for kara, if he really paid attention to kara and cared about what she did as supergirl, he would know that.

2) HE SAID I LOVE YOU??? HES NEVER SHOWN TRUE RESPECT OR LOVE FOR HER, i feel like you need to at least show your love for someone before declaring it (and also in such an awkward situation… yikes™). meanwhile maggie and alex are the most supportive and loving gfs ever, have been in a healthy relationship for quite awhile at this point (probably months??), and they’ve barely gotten super intimate scenes or kisses, let alone an i love you from either of them.

3) he should not have to rely on kara to be a better person. sure she can introduce him to the idea to being a decent person and she can inspire him or whatever, but he can grow as a fucking person ON HIS OWN BY HIS OWN WILL

4) “will you ever tell me the truth?” “i don’t know” RED FLAGS RIGHT THERE BUDDY IF YOU CANT BE HONEST AND COMMUNICATE W YOUR PARTNER THEN LEAVE THEM, DUMP THEM, DROP (KICK) THEM. why didn’t kara get rid of him 10 years ago.

5) except kara can’t really get rid of him bc mon el doesn’t know the concept of listening to someone’s wishes and giving them space. he’s so entitled it’s so obvious like he always thinks he knows more than kara. she’ll tell him to do something and then he’ll go “hmm i think not” and then when things inevitably get fucked up he asks for another chance

6) speaking of “”“second”“” chances, at this point it’s not a second chance, mon el, you’re begging for mercy that you don’t deserve. kara has given you plenty of chances and undeserved guidance and you never. fucking. learn.

7) honestly this probably doesn’t even begin to cover it there are definitely some points im missing

Sasuke Uchiha.

- Likes animals?? Literally pets most animals he sees.
- Doesn’t follow the rules just because. Challenges authorities.
- Risked his life and chances of accomplishing his goals to save his precious person.
- Deep voice™
- All he ever wanted was justice.
- Was willing to sacrifice himself so no one would go through what he went through.
- Loves tomatoes… my heart.
- So intelligent and resourceful? Appreciate him.
- Graceful and elegant. 

 - Uses his opponent’s hands to complete the hand motions for a jutsu. 

 - Helped Konoha and the other villages during the war, he didn’t owe them anything. But he helped them nonetheless. (and saved their asses, too).

 - Best style award. No one had better outfits. 

- Trained for days restlessly to strengthen his katon no jutsu when he was a little boy.

 - Loved his brother. 

 - Loved his mom so much. 

 - “What I’m calling for, what I’m bringing forth, that is, REVOLUTION!”

- His story and ambitions were swept under the rug, I’m still heartbroken. Deserved better. 

 - His small little “heh” when he chuckles. 

- Will end you with one arm.

- Hair style icon. Name a more iconic hairstyle than his duckbutt, I’ll wait.

- Not here only for shipping material, a complex, beautiful character that stuck to his morals even as he was inches away from death.

- Not to be dramatic or anything but if it hadn’t been for him team seven would have probably died in part one.

- Had to rewatch his brother (and favorite person) murdering his family approximately half a million times throughout his life and y'all still have the nerve to call him “dramatic emo”. Leak your address I just want to talk.

- Went through everything I’ve mentioned and more through the first seventeen years of his life. Had to grow up a lot faster than anyone else.

- Defended Naruto when Sakura tried to say he was lucky for not having parents. Went to look for him because he was worried that he didn’t show up for breakfast. Spent the night training with Naruto and semi carried him home afterwards.

- Have you heard him saying Niisan.

- I love him.

Night Moves (Part 1)

Originally posted by rocksaroundthesuns

Summary: The reader hooks up with a guy she meets at a bar one night after she gets to the town where her childhood friend, Jess, is getting married in a few days time, leading to some unintended consequences…

Pairing: au!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,500ish

Warnings: language, smut

A/N: Hope you enjoy part 1!…


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Hi! I am Rromani. I am from Hungary, and in Canada, where I’ve been since I was little. (I’m a teenager now.) In Hungary, as most of you probably know, life was not very good–Rromani people had to live in separate neighbourhoods that were in very poor condition and often lacked things like electricity and clean running water, had to go to separate schools and classes from other kids, were subject to a lot of hate crimes and intimidation (sometimes from organised militias), and the political climate was not very pro-Rromani. With everything that was going on, it made sense for us to come to Canada - us being me, and my older brother. 

We were supposed to be coming here together, but something happened. We got separated. (I’m not sure exactly what - I was pretty young at the time.) I’ve settled here in Canada, and life is going well, except that I don’t know what happened to my brother. Since leaving Hungary, I haven’t heard from him. Now that I’m older, I want to try to find him. I don’t remember very much from when I was younger, but I remember him and that I loved him, and that he loved me. I think that if he could, he would be trying to find me (which might be tricky for him - among other things, my name has been changed since I came here.) I don’t know whether he stayed in Hungary, or went to another European country looking for a place where life could be better, or whether he might have come to Canada and gotten asylum here. 

I called him something like Yoska, but I’m not sure whether this was his real name, or a nickname, or a childish mispronunciation (I had a speech impediment.) He would be, I think, in his mid-twenties right now. If he can, he is probably trying to find me. Please share this, because I’m hoping that there is some chance that he will see it and contact me, or that someone who knows him will see it and tell him. 

If you think you might be my brother, please email me at dikaorgovan@gmail.com (or contact me through this tumblr blog). I love you and I miss you, and I hope you are okay.

I’m sorry we let you boys down..

I’m sorry no one noticed your cries for help. I’m sorry that no one stuck up for you when you needed them to the most.

I’m sorry that you felt the only way you could get people to listen was to cause harm and I’m sorry that you felt you had to cause harm because of how these people made you felt.

What you boys did wasn’t okay, I’m sure you know that by now. You’re probably looking at me right now thinking I’m just like the rest of them.

Dylan, Eric, I wish you had realized that if you held on for a couple more months everything would have been better for you, but I’m sure you realized that.

I’m sure you knew that well what if you had graduated? Would it stop? Oh no, you were too far into the plan by now. You couldn’t just get rid of all the bombs you had made and the guns you acquired. You went too far.

Dylan, you were excited for college. I know “another few years of the torment”, I know it just meant more school and more bullying but it could’ve been better for you, we can all see how much potential you had and that isn’t a lie. You were a handsome young man with potential to be something big, you would be so proud of how computers are now!

Eric, you were bright too. You had potential just like Dylan did and there’s a new Doom game out, funny right? I bet you didn’t realize your Doom levels would have so many views and so many people playing them. Does that make you happy? 

You boys left such an image on the world, you helped everyone recognize bullying, you helped bring up the conversations about school violence and mental health. You boys had so much potential but you threw it away for what? A little revenge on people you didn’t even really know?

Dylan, Eric, you were selfish. You shouldn’t have been bullied so badly, but what you did wasn’t okay and I’m not going to tell you that you did something good because you didn’t. You ruined families, you hurt the community, the country, the world. You hurt your friends. 

Your friends, you know the people who were there for you. You guys felt so alone but you didn’t realize you both had friends and you both had each other. You were so strung high on having friends that you didn’t realize how strong of a bond you both had, that was what was important.

I believe you should have suffered for what you did, I don’t think forever, but you should have had punishment. I hope by now the punishment is over and you’re smiling together playing Doom and watching all of us make fools out of ourselves. 

I hope you’re in your paradise, you have your freedom and you have your peace.

Rest easy.

[The ~feel~ of statistics majors at Elsewhere U has changed somewhat since I sent you that ask (dangerous was perhaps the wrong word), but here’s an extended piece about them that is totally not also a love letter to my chosen subject]

Science majors are always treated more warily by the gentry. This is both a blessing and a curse; we’re less likely to be fucked with, except perhaps out of spite, but it also leaves the greatest mystery we’ve ever seen out of our reach.

It’s tough, being a truth-seeker.

Every department has its own inclinations when it comes to attempts to study Them. Brave physics majors strap bodged-together chronal stabilisers to their arms and go spelunking in those places that time bends unnaturally, reeling back out days or weeks or months later sobbing unintelligibly about relativity. The smart chemistry majors favour esoteric methods of detecting Them, importing enough hazardous substances that it’s surprising none of them are on terrorist watch lists; we try and avoid the choking fumes of their labs and darkrooms if possible. Biologists tend to keep to themselves and be blacklisted in turn; nobody’s attempted to gather samples from Them since the chrysanthemum incident, and the tensions are manageable. Maths is essentially arcane to Them, too logical to make any sense, and more than one student has traded their way out of a tight spot with a neatly penned proof of Euler’s formula.

As at every other university, statistics majors get overlooked. It’s hardly a surprise; it’s the kinds of subject that you either do for a lack of a better idea (and the alleged “amazing job security”) or because you really love statistics. Students in the department because of the former are usually fine, having no particular drive to hunt out knowledge beyond the mundanities of coursework. That cadre of us, though, who take what the lecturers give us and turn it on our environment? Well, I’d call us the most successful informal research group in the university.

Don’t look so surprised! Statistics is the science of observation and patterning. Not only to we know how to analyse for a trend, we know how to tell whether there’s a kernel of truth in it or if it’s just noise; the deceptions of a regression with p = 0.07  are not too different to some of the misdirections of the gentry. Provided you’re smart about data collection (RIP Tumblr user no-this-is-a-knife), there’s not a lot They can do to screw with you as long as you keep everything digital and speak softly. Walking the line between observing Them and alerting Them to your intentions is very possible as long as you’re canny about it. Interestingly, the proportion of Slytherin students in the department is greater than you would expect from a subject so knowledge-oriented.

There are some great projects being run in our downtime. Demography of the gentry would be both a fool’s errand and a slow death, but there’s plenty you can do by surveying the human population or simply watching common areas. That’s what I’m working on, actually; we’re using some of the chem students’ detection techniques to investigate the distribution of the gentry around the campus. Early results are confirming the rumours that arts students are most likely to run into Them. There’s other projects as well, of course, like the two students who’ve cracked the university’s database of missing persons reports and are analysing it against the year to look for the most dangerous times.

To be clear: we mean no harm by what we do. It’s easy to think of us as a coiled snake in the grass, but I would never dream of using my research against anyone (human or gentry or otherwise). Anyone seeking to fight the gentry is probably better off burying themselves in the mythology stacks anyway; research that could conclusively prove cause and effect is well outside our capabilities. All we’re really about is helping people do what they were already doing, like find somewhere weirdness-free to study for finals.

The official Elsewhere U message boards keep deleting our threads - I’m almost sure it’s foul play at this point, one of the staff They have in Their metaphorical pocket - so we’ve been pushed into informal channels. r/ElsewhereStatistics is a good one-stop-shop for passing students, and our Tumblr network is pretty extensive. It’s important to be able to coordinate, to ask questions; this research methodology isn’t exactly something you can run by the lecturers.

While it’s disheartening to know that this work will never leave the university (statistics journals reject so many regular papers, and there’s no scientific field pertaining to Them that we could publish under like applied statistics groups usually would), it’s worth all the toil and more. On a practical level, we’re helping people; just the other day a sobbing fine arts major grabbed me after class and gave me a thank-you hug for publishing those preliminary maps of gentry activity on campus. She can paint in peace now! How wild is that? Most of us would still do it regardless of the thanks, though. After all, the most praise in the world can’t top the simple euphoria of discovery; there’s nothing like that ephemeral moment after the results come back when you can truly say that you know something no-one else knows.

Well, I’d better be getting back to it; these numbers aren’t gonna crunch themselves. Come visit us down in the computer labs sometime (bring coffee!). And remember: following our will and wind, we may just go where no one’s been.

Alarm Bells Ringing / Jeff Atkins

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The moment Jeff saw you making your way down the hall towards him, he knew something was wrong. He noticed straight away that the smile you offered him just before you reached him was not genuine. Though he became more concerned with you when you greeted him with a kiss.

You had been dating for almost six months and never had you once initiated a kiss so publicly-you much preferred to keep your relationship private. You were shy and hated attention, you even tended to shift away from your boyfriend when he tried to hold your hand around others so this abrupt change in behaviour definitely took him off guard. 

He froze as your lips met his.

It only lasted a few seconds and when you pulled away you couldn’t stop the small giggle that left you as you took in his expression. 

“You okay there?” you asked, amusement filling your features. 

Jeff snapped out of his daze and quickly shut his locker before addressing you so you could have his full attention, “Should I be asking you that?” he countered. 

He noticed the slight hesitation that passed over your face, the subtle change in posture. You only shook your head as you leant against the locker beside his, “I’m good,” you insisted, not realising Jeff had caught your lie. “We should head to class,” you suggested, “the bell will be going soon.”

Jeff sighed, not wanting to push you on the matter and deciding to wait until you wanted to open up to him, he agreed. 

He almost jumped in surprise as you slid your hand in his and held him close to your side. As worried as he had become, Jeff had to smile. 

Granted he was concerned, but it was hard for him to not take advantage of the rare occurrence. 

Jeff pressed a kiss against the top of your head as they walked down the corridor, a warm feeling igniting within him as you smiled up at him rather than shield yourself away. 


After school, Jeff met up with Clay as usual but his mind was somewhere else. Something Clay noticed rather quickly. “What’s up?” he questioned, placing his pen on the table.

Jeff ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t even know,” he groaned. “Something’s up with (Y/N) today and she hasn’t spoken to me about it…she’s acting different and I don’t want to bring it up just in case it makes her push me away.”

Clay leant back in his chair, “Look,” he said. “Usually you give me the relationship advice,” he laughed, “and I know I’m kind of useless when it comes to this, but it’s (Y/N),” he stated, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeff demanded on the defensive. 

Clay smiled to reassure his friend that he meant no offence, “I’m just saying, she’ll come to you when she’s ready. You know better than anyone that sometimes she just needs some time to herself to process things before she can talk about them.”

Jeff slowly nodded, “I guess. But did you see the way she was today?” he asked, in which Clay shook his head in reply. “I just want to help her…” he whispers. “I’m just really worried.”

“Speak of the devil,” Clay said quietly, his focus on something, someone behind Jeff.

He turned around and found you heading their way. Jeff smiled as his girlfriend sat herself in the seat beside him. “Hey Clay,” you greet. 

He raised his hand to wave his hello before picking up the discarded piece of work he was reading over to give you and Jeff a moment. 

You take hold of Jeff’s left hand and move his arm closer to you, hugging it against your chest as you rest your head on your spare arm against the table. Letting out a small yawn, your eyes slowly closed. 

See, Jeff mouthed to Clay who had looked over at them in curiosity. He merely shrugged and went back to reading. 

Jeff shifted in his seat and moved his right arm towards you and began moving the hair out of your face that had fallen down when you had laid down. Your smile made Jeff’s heart quicken. 

He stopped himself from asking what was wrong as his hand stopped moving on the top of her head, resting amongst your hair. 

Movement from across from him caused Jeff to look up at Clay who had stood from his seat, “Where are you going?” he asked, their session no where near done.

“Your somewhere else at the moment and I don’t think you will be able to focus until you know what you want to,” he told him sympathetically. “I’ll see you around, you know where I am if you need something.”

Jeff thanked his friend and watched as he walked away, finally turning back to you as you mumbled a quiet apology.

“It’s not your fault,” he assured her.

You lazily opened your eyes, peering up at him-you took in his expression. “Your a horrible liar,” you informed him. He let out a small laugh at her words but didn’t speak. “You shouldn’t worry about me,” she told him.

“I can’t help it.”

Your smile only grew and Jeff ran his fingers down your cheek. “I know what’s been going through your head all day,” you continued, closing your eyes again as his soft touch relaxed you. “But you really shouldn’t have worried. I’m sorry for not talking to you earlier about it.”

“Don’t apologise,” he insisted.

“You’re too sweet,” you sighed happily, wondering how you were so lucky to have him. “But really, I was just feeling a little down today. Nothing happened, I’m just…not entirely feeling like myself. But I’ll be better when I’ve had a good rest, I think.”

Jeff hesitated before responding, “That doesn’t really explain why you’ve been so…” he trailed off, not sure how to word what he wanted to say.

She chuckled, gripping his hand tighter, “You make me happy,” she said easily. “Being around you just makes everything better.”

That warm feeling inside of him returned and Jeff was beaming, “I do, huh?” he grinned. If Jeff could have seen your eyes, he was certain you would have rolled them. 

“I noticed something today,” she frowned, continuing their conversation. “Something else I should probably apologise for.”

Now Jeff was frowning, “What is it?”

“I realised how little I show you that I love you.” 

Jeff scoffed, moving his arm out of your hold and forcing you to sit up. Your eyes lock on his and there was disbelief in them, “Are you kidding me?” he asked. “You think that just because you don’t hold my hand in school or want to kiss me around these people that I can’t tell that you love me?”

You were confused, not understanding his point.

“(Y/N),” he groaned, gripping your chin between his fingers gently so you were still looking at him. “You show me how much you love me each time you look me in the eyes and each time you smile across the room, the love you express through the little things…that’s what matters. That’s what makes my heart race and my head go cloudy. I don’t need you to kiss me every time you see me or tell me in words you love me every other hour of the day. Okay?”

You nodded slowly, taking in his words.

“I love that our moments-are our moments. And that only I get to see that side of you. Don’t get me wrong, I loved how you were today just like how I love you are every other day. I love you. Every part of you and you shouldn’t be thinking that it’s not enough. Because you’re more than enough.”

Your hands grip his shoulders and you tug him towards you, kissing him like you had never done before in public, suddenly grateful that the library was relatively empty. Jeff’s hands found their way around your waist as yours trailed along his chest and down his sides-the kiss never once breaking. 

Finally pulling apart, you smiled shyly, leaving one hand on his hip as the other made its way to the side of his face. “I love you, too,” you whispered. “And thank you.”

MCU ANTI-FREEZE: Why Bucky didn’t shoot the camera before killing the Starks

(the Anti-Freeze section is where I take points from canon that make no sense, are inconsistent with the rest of the narration, are literally plot holes, case of fridge logic-or horror and try desperately to make sense of them using every scrap I can from the source material. Basically it’s me frantically patching canon up trying to hide the ugly parts and finding more or less-it’s less- plausible explanations for them. Or you can say it’s me closing my eyes and singing loudly over logic in order to deny all idea of mistake in my canon and being blindly faithful to the writers for having probably -never- thought of that)


The Winter Soldier is a master assassin so good at his job that most people didn’t even believe in his existence. He is a legend, a ghost of the intelligence community and not a whisper of his existence leaves others indifferent.

This is especially difficult to believe as he spends most of his introductory movie shooting up people in broad daylight in the middle of crowded boulevards of big metropoles. But since this is linked to Hydra’s out of the shadows scheme we can handwave it away by saying he was simply following the out of shadows directive as the fist of HYDRA.

Now the issue comes with his second apparition where he executes Howard and Maria Stark in plain view of a security camera, which he is obviously aware of as he breaks it the moment he is done with the deed. This makes the whole master assassin who’s so good most people don’t even know he exist schtick difficult to swallow. This looks amateurish at best and seems like a contrived plot point to create the Siberia situation.

But what if this was actually a case of fridge brilliance from the writers?

From what we know of the Winter Soldier from Captain America 2, he needs to be kept in ice in between mission as he can’t be out too long without having some “malfunctions”. Also he has some recollections of his life before being a weapon and all points to the fact his reaction toward recognizing Steve is not the first time he had some sort of revelation. That’s why they need to wipe him often to erase his memories.

In Civil War we sees that under the Soviet control while he is controlled by triggers which we don’t know if they were used (though I’d argue not) in the Winter Soldier ; the chair zapping his brain and the sleeping in ice in between assignments was still in use as in shown in the opening sequence. Which means that he still can’t be trusted on his own for too long and needs his memory wiped often in order to make the triggers more efficient.

During the Berlin incident, it is shown that the triggers only allow for simple directives and the state they induce is broken after a while on its own or between bouts of consciousness. This all seem to be an effect of the super soldier serum that heals his brain and thus weaken the mind control while making him stronger.

According to Black Widow, the Winter Soldier has not been very active despite his reputation as he is credited with something like 25 kills over 50 years, which means at best 1 kill every two years. Of course some of his assassination were hidden (the Starks for example) but it seems that Bucky was used only for high target assassinations. Also the fact that his activity is only of half a century as of 2014 when Cap 2 takes place shows that Bucky took time to be molded as the perfect weapon, Hydra had him for almost 20 years before sending him out. All of this shows that he is a valuable almost irreplaceable asset and that his handlers take great care of not breaking the hold they have over him, which they know is fragile in the best of case.

That’s why the Starks were such high targets, and that’s why they wanted nobody to look closer into the accident for nobody should discover the big discovery behind their murder. Indeed, Howard Stark with his bastard super serum offered Hydra the possibility to have 5 more super soldiers without all the hassle Bucky presented.

So Bucky was sent and he executed the mission, taking the serum and leaving no witness alive. Except for the camera.

BUT there is something else we need to take into consideration, Cap 2 heavily implies that Howard had suspicions about SHIELD and the US government being infiltrated by some force and that’s probably why nobody knew of the package he had with him since he wouldn’t want to advertise this when he didn’t know who to trust. So his murder was also necessary as a way to cut off this line of inquiry. Just taking the serum and leaving them alive would have been too big of a risk.

And this is where the camera comes in. The video is found by Zemo in a Hydra base after he spent the better part of a year to try and find this solid evidence. So I think part of Bucky’s instructions was to disable the camera after the kill and then bringing back the serum.

Why? Because Howard was not any target, it was one Bucky knew personally. Moreover the need to make it look like an accident required a face to face approach for the assassin. And since they knew the Winter Soldier program was glitchy they didn’t know how he would react with having to kill someone he knew. So this was a test for Bucky, the camera was there to monitor him and be sure he didn’t break his conditioning at any moment. Since if he did he could have lied during his report.

They needed the footage to be sure the Starks were dead for one, and to observe Bucky’s behavior during the hit to see if he hesitated or remembered. I think during this mission, a lot of HYDRA operatives were around in case things went south and they had to finish the job themselves and get back the stray Asset. And though some might argue that he recognized Howard as he allegedly momentarily stilled his hand before finishing him (I’m still not sure of that after having seen the footage hundred of times) he still completed the mission without any issue.

And I think this mission was the reason why they sent him after Steve during Cap 2. Because they already had tested him against people he knew succesfully and thus were confident he would see things through and kill Captain America even if he used to be his best friend.

…So Convinced? Is this theory acceptable?  
Let me know what you think!