that new design smell

6

hmmm what’s that smell i’ll tell you what it is it’s the smell of MORE SHIRTS

i tossed some new designs up in th’store and right now you can get 15% off everything with the code YOURTHING15 :0 Savings!

thanks for checkin em oot and my eternal gratitude to everyone who’s bought one!! 

Henrik Lundqvist will pay his fine in the form of five thousand one-dollar bills, new, crisp, and neatly pressed, smelling of the finest cologne, in designer leather briefcases delivered by attractive Swedish women.

The celebrity culture we’ve cultivated (try saying that ten times fast) has produced some strange behaviour patterns. There is one gossipy gold mine in particular that runs with the precision of a German train network and can be relied upon for tabloid gossip on a week to week basis. I am of course referring to - the celebrity meltdown. Specifically, the social media variety.

For your average Joe online, it’s quite easy to have your own meltdown and not get too much stick for it. Tweet those lyrics as a thinly concealed reference to your ex who’s just been seen in the pub with that horrible girl you did A-level chemistry with. Go on a poorly punctuated rant at an online goods distributor because they left your parcel behind your wheelie bin - which was CLEARLY not your designated safe space - and now your new cushion covers smell like damp. With the luxury of not having our every move scrutinised, we can go on getting pissed off and telling people we’re pissed off, without it being lauded about as a crisis or breaking point or evidence of our fragile state.

For those in the world of celebrity, you can’t use social media in the same way everybody else does without being subject to a lot more analysis. People will publicise your virtual ‘breakdown’ for sport (and page views). Publicly acknowledging your anger shows a lack of self-restraint or suggests you can’t cope.

I think taking to social media when you’re angry is easily understandable. Our social profiles are designed to give an exciting look into a life - it’s not about the run of the mill stuff like what you’re having on your toast, but to showcase your shimmering career highlights and busy social calendars. It stands to reason that the place you share your emotional highs may also be your outlet for the lows. When people are angry or sad, oftentimes what they want is just someone to listen to them. When you have a thousands-strong audience just a few taps away, a captive audience in the palm of your hand, does it not make sense that you’d go straight to socials to vent your frustration? Ask the audience! Am I right or am I right?!

I think for most people, keeping a balanced view on all things social media is trickier than you might first expect. I’m sure we can all think of celebrity examples of people who keep their online accounts at arms length. Sharing happy news. Doing the advised PR. Sending out well wishes for world events. I think that for some of these people, maintaining an all-business relationship with social media is just good practice; by keeping their accounts neat and friendly, it makes it less likely that that’s where you’ll head to vent when you’re half cut and furious. You never share personal stuff on social media, so why would that be your first reaction now? It’s a safety mechanism.

The fact is that, like so many other aspects of celebrity life, the general public can be very unforgiving of these ‘meltdowns’. An unpleasant incident, rather than passing you by, is now part of the news cycle for the next week or so and will be dredged up in future if anyone needs to demonstrate your anger/sadness/instability. Should we, the observers, be more forgiving of the occasional slip up? I think so. We’re all human.

On an alternative note though, there are some meltdowns that should be taken more seriously. Ranting and raving about poor service you’ve had or getting riled and washing your hands of social media altogether (usually returning 48 hours later when you’ve calmed down) is, I think, an easily fathomable consequence of a stressful event and an audience willing to listen. Some people though, start ranting with other reasoning; Azaelia Banks, the latest example of a public Twitter meltdown, didn’t just blow her top, she went on a vile, bilge-spilling tirade of homophobic abuse and racist slurs - among other things. This to me is not an example of someone venting frustration in an understandable format, but a biggot and a bully showing her true colours.

She might have said sorry now, but I think Banks’ apology is more of a ‘sorry I said it in public’ sort of apology. This is the kind of behaviour that shouldn’t be tolerated, celebrity or not - while I’m always for appreciating the back story behind a persons actions and try to show some understanding, there’s no upset here that warrants the kind of language she used. While some celebrities are judged too harshly and deserve a little more empathy, there’s no empathy I can see here - sometimes an Instagram sorry just isn’t enough.

Very interesting article written by Gemma clearly referencing the Azalia Banks twitter rant about Zayn without naming Zayn. Based on Gemma’s article, it seems she is siding with Zayn, which goes against the official narrative of the boys fighting with each other, since Harrys sister is siding (rightly so) with Zayn, doesn’t it. Bless. Credit @felociraptor for the article.

Lorde's Interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, Taylor Swift is mentioned throughout.

A lamp or a bowl? Ella Yelich-O'Connor wants to buy a Christmas present for her manager, which is why she’s standing, with a puzzled look, in a chic design store in Herne Bay, an Auckland, New Zealand, suburb that smells like affluence and the ocean. They’re both great gifts, but Ella is determined to figure out which one is better. The choices: a hand-shaped brass bowl with a glowing gold wash, or a minimalist globe table lamp with no base. 

“Taylor’s supergood at this stuff,” says Ella, who’s wearing light-gray trousers and a slightly-less-gray shirt. “She’s decorated her own houses for ages.” So why not text photos of both gifts to her? “That’s a great idea.” Her friend Taylor Swift is in London, where it’s almost midnight, and doesn’t reply immediately, so after more furrowed deliberation, Ella chooses the bowl.

Outside, at a cafe on Jervois Road, we’re interrupted approximately every six minutes bu autograph and photo requests from polite New Zealanders enjoying the summer weather. A bus of school kids in red blazers pauses at a stoplight, and when the kids spot Ella, they wave in unison delight.

In “Royals,” her worldwide smash, Ella mocks the fatuousness of pop stars who brag about driving Maybachs and drinking Cristal, and she also brazenly offers to replace the idiots who dominate Top 40: “You can call me Queen Bee, and baby, I’ll rule,” she sings. Big talk for a teenage nobody from nowhere.

“I’ve always been into the idea of confidence. Like, I called my record Pure Heroine.” She laughs. “Even my stage name is kind of cocky or grandiose.” She mentions a lyric from Kanye West’s “Dark Fantasy” (“Me found bravery in my bravado”), which gave her courage to announce her ambition in “Royals.” “I get paralyzingly nervous a lot of times, so I tried bravado. The way I dress and carry myself, a lot of people find it strange or intimidating. I think my whole career can be boiled down to the one word I always say in my meetings: strength.”

Now, at 17, she is the Queen Bee, with four Grammy nominations and well-deserved acclaim for her smart and unique album. On the day in October when “Royals” went to Number One - displacing Miley Cyrus, symbolism that’s hard to miss - Ella had a photos hoot in New York. “The photographer kept saying, ‘Pop your hip out. Try to look cute. Big smiles, now.’ And I was like, 'I’m Number One in this country not because I flirt and wink and all that ****, but because I’ve done exactly what I want to do.’ So, no, he did not get smiles.” And then she smiles.

Her phone dings. It’s a reply from Swift. “Oh, ****. She wrote, 'I love the lamp.' Noooooo!


——–

When Ella was young, she stuttered. Physiologists hypothesized that her mouth couldn’t move as fast as her brain. The stuttering has past, but now she has frequent insomnia. Her mom describes it best: “Ella’s head is always on fire.”

Fortunately, she’s found a slightly older peer she can turn to for advice: Taylor Swift. When “Royals” went to Number One and Ella arrived home from America, Swift sent her a bunch of roses: “I was floored.” Ella had recently told a New Zealand reporter that Swift’s success wasn’t “breeding anything good in young girls,” because the singer was “so flawless and so unattainable." On the heels of her dig at Selena Gomez’s song, the quote quickly turned into blog headlines ("Lorde slams Taylor Swift”), and Ella apologized on her tumblr, clarifying that she disliked the “importance placed on physical perfection in this industry,” and not Swift personally.

Swift didn’t know about any of this, until Ella thanked her for the roses and mentioned what she’d said. “She was like, 'It’s fine. If all you’ve done is call someone perfect, it’s not that bad.’” On her way home to New Zealand from the Grammy-nominations concert in L.A. last month, Ella stopped in Australia, and joined Swift for her 24th Birthday party. Their reconciliation, like their original conflict, took place in public. 

It makes sense that they’re friends - both are smart and driven, command their own careers, and perform with what Ella calls “real teenage voices.” “There are very few of us,” she continues, “There’s Tavi and the Rookie group, King Krule and, to an extent, Jake Bugg. The other teenagers sing other people’s songs, which is fine, but it’s not an authentic teenage experience.”