that movie was so good jfc

Give Me That Gold *Lance Tucker x Reader* NSFW

Originally posted by rikkisixx

Summary: You’re considered a ‘has been’ since winning a silver at Worlds, after always getting golds in previous competitions. You run into Lance, things get heated up and you score him on his sex.
Ratings: Mature Content (+18)-No oral, other than Lance finger fucking you! I tried to write acrobatic smut, didn’t go so well, so I kept it mildly average with a few weird positions. (I promise, the more comfortable I am with writing him, the more it will get better- I already have a series idea, if people are interested in me writing that?)

Note: First time ever writing Lance, I’ve seen the movie a handful of times and I am in no way, a good smut writer. So, this may be all types of bad. Forgive me if so. Such an original title. I don’t know what it is, I fucking love Lance, I love him more than Seb’s Bucky atm! God, I think it’s his cocky attitude but jfc I love it! I shouldn’t because he’s such a cunt, but I’d let him do all sorts of things. - Rosalee (please be nice! This may be shitty, so please go easy on me)

You walk into Amherst gym, a confidence in your step. It had been a while since you last stepped foot here, it hadn’t changed much, apart from the fact Pavleck’s gym was now owned by Hope. You dropped your duffle bag into the ladies changing rooms, pulling your hair into a tight but slightly messy bun and exiting to the actual gymnasium.

You pushed the doors open, the familiar gym coming into view. Balance beams and mats laid out, vaults and bars placed. It was like you had never left to Miami all those years ago, a few younger gymnasts practised with their coaches. You instantly recognised one of them, rolling your eyes instantly as soon as, you saw him. You had hoped you’d never see him, it would have seemed likely considering he’s a gold medalist and they tend to get too big for their sweats. You’d know since from the age of 4 you had been winning golds, till you got your first silver, ever.

It was obviously, better than Hope’s bronze which actually made her a celebrity, much to the despise of Lance. Lance Tucker, the obnoxiously arrogant, sleaze ball. He basically dripped egotistical, cocky dick. You hated him, you’d still hate him even if he didn’t win that gold and parade it around but his personality still stood. In fact, winning gave him a god-complex with every shiny gold medal, it was just another pat on the behind for his ego. It irked you.

Since you got your silver it’s like all your credibility went down, you made it to the big leagues and leave with a silver rather than a usual gold, suddenly you’re the laughing stock. It was difficult, you went from being seen as one of the greatest gymnasts to people pointing out you won a silver, like all the golds before that meant nothing. It still kind of upsets you today, you used to hang around people like Lance, talking yourself up and now you can hardly step into a gym that you know anyone in because of the fear of being mocked. No one wants to believe that their favourite gold medalists athletes are up their own arses, but they are; a few are humble most are Tucker.

“Well, well look who we have here.” You sighed and refrained from rolling your eyes, spinning on your heel to glare up at Lance who had his arm crossed, smirking as he gave you a once over. “Didn’t expect to ever see your face again, Y/N!”

“Let me guess,” you cross your own arms, “still living off the former glory of your old gold wins, I see?” His steel blue eyes narrowed, his jaw locking as you simply smiled cockily.

He uncrossed his arms and stepped to you, “still trying to hide the fact you’re huge fucking failure by giving attitude as if you’re still a gold medalist.” He towered over your small frame, a glare so intense you almost squirmed under it; like one of those girl amateurs meeting him for the first time.

“I am still a gold medalist winner, I didn’t come here to be mocked Tucker, so go fuck your way into winning some competitions.” You regretted the words as soon as they flew from your mouth.

Lance loves to prove a point, he especially loves to win gold medals by his sheer talent. Proving that he didn’t fuck any female judges to win, you hated to admit it but he’s talented. One of the best you’ve seen, it only made you hate him more. He repelled back an inch as if what you said hurt him, it would anyone, you stood your ground against him by glaring. His jaw locked as he glared, pointing a long finger in your face, you raised your eyebrows at the man. God, you’d love to slap him and not even in a sexual way, one hard slap across his face.

“The only one here that should be fucking their way into gold medals is you, you need all the help,” he remarked coolly, you bite your tongue and just glare as he steps around you going back to coaching some teen. You let out a shaky puff of air, feeling a little hot from that exchange, due to being angry- definitely anger.

You walk to the mats, unzipping your jacket and shrugging it off leaving it in a pile just to the side. Stretching your arms above your head, the black sports tank top clinging to you, you felt your muscles contract underneath your skin. You bent forward touching your toes, pressing your palm flat against the cold blue mat and stayed like that for a few seconds, you slowly dragged your left leg up straight and turning your torso to touch left arm to your foot. Torso arching, the tight feeling bunching in your abdomen.

“I’d recognise that ass anywhere,” you chuckled at Hope’s crude behaviour as she yelled walking to you, “you gonna give every man in here a boner or hug me?”  

You lowered your leg, pushing yourself off the floor with your palms and standing straight. Turning to take in the small-but-big attitude-Hope, she hadn’t changed all that much, hands on her hips as she also looked you over. Both chuckling as you stepped forward embracing her, you were the same height as her, small but with a lot of attitude.

“I see you bumped into Lance,” she gave a chuckle as you let out a loud exhale. “I haven’t seen him that tense since… you were last around here, you really get under his skin,” she nudged and wiggled her eyebrows, “he wants to fuck you.”

You coughed loudly in shock, forgetting how crass Hope is. “Okay, that’s definitely not it. We hate one another, we do not- I do not want to fuck Lance Tucker!” You walked away heading to the balance beams, Hope following and she scoffed brushing her blonde bangs out of her eyes.

“The sexual tension I can smell it from five miles away,” you rolled your eyes prepping before jumping up, steadying yourself. “You both need to fuck the hatred out of one another or you know, fuck one another and still hate each other, at least you get rid of the stank.” You barked a laugh and going into a handstand, “point your toes.” She barks unconsciously, instantly doing as asked.

“There’s no sexual tension between us,” you say through your teeth, pointing your right hand out straight and balancing all of your height on your left. “We’re both competitive, needing to prove ourselves through winning. Plus, he’s just an egotistical asshole, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and his medals.”

Hope crosses her arms watching as you get back into a standing position, barking little comments to you as you leapt and did an arabesque. It’s silent for a few minutes as you done some scissor leaps. “Do an Omelianchik!” You sighed, giving her a glare as she gave a little shrug with her right shoulder.

You gave a few deep breaths, going into a back dive with a one-quarter twist landing with a handstand. Your eyes glance over to where Tucker was on the steady rings, currently holding a handstand. His hands gripped the rings tightly, his arms straight and bulging, contracting under his weight. His back to you, the muscles defined nicely through the thin white top he wore.

“You need his cock inside of you, I know it.” Hope’s ‘jokey’ comment made you lose balance and fall from the beam, “oh shit! Y/N, you okay?”

You groaned from the floor, landing on a mat didn’t really stop it from hurting as landed with a loud ‘thump’. Hope let slip a few chuckles as you pushed your upper body up, holding a hand to your head as you groaned, flipping her off which only made her laugh a little harder.

“Is she okay?” A deep voice asked from a few feet away, “what happened?” it took a few seconds to figure out it was Lance who was asking. Probably, came over to gloat at how dumb and unprofessional you are.

Hope sighed, “I told her how she needs a good fuck and she lost balance! I think, she’s okay.”

Lance let slip a laugh at Hope’s honesty as you once again, flipped her off. He walked over to you, offering a hand to help you up, you swatted it away and he chuckled holding his hands up as you tried to lift yourself up. You wobbled, your right leg felt stiff and achy due to the fall. Lance put a hand on your shoulder to stop you from swaying, raising his eyebrows at Hope who was smirking lightly.

“I’m okay, I think.” You shrug Lance’s hand off of your shoulder lightly, ready to get started with training again but Hope pulled you back, you gave a defiant look.

Hope shakes her head, “No way, I can’t let you continue after that fall. You need to go back to your hotel or whatever, rest that bashed head. Lance drive her home!” She pushes Lance as best she could to you, he frowned also. “She can’t drive, she hit her head, stop being an asshole for five minutes and give her a ride!”

“I’m fine, Hope.” You grit through clenched teeth and she gave you a cold glare, challenging you to a fight if needed. “Plus, I don’t need him giving me a ride anywhere!”

Lance scoffed, “You’d be lucky to get any sort of ride from me, sweetheart!”

“Oh my god,” Hope yelled angrily, “Don’t you dare talk to her tight pussy like that, she’s a silver medalist plus gold, she has more flexibility you can deal with Tucker. So, shut your whore mouth.”

You frowned but smiled, Hope had a weird way of sticking up for you, Lance didn’t seem fazed as he sighed and nodded, pushing you to the doors where you went to the changing rooms. You didn’t bother getting dressed, grabbing the duffle and walking out to see Lance leaning on the far wall, arms crossed as he waited for you. You walked over, he pushed himself off the wall and walked a little beside you in uncomfortable silence, going out into the carpark you headed towards you own car before you feel of Lance tugging you towards his own.

“We’re taking mine because I need to drive back,” he mutters some excuse as he opens the passenger side for you, you frown.

“I need to drive here tomorrow, let’s take mine.” You go to slam the door closed but Lance stops you, you make a sound of annoyance at him.

He rolls his blue eyes, “I’ll drive you here tomorrow or text Hope to pick you up, I need my car.” He insists, instead of arguing with him, you make another sound of annoyance before sliding into the passenger seat. “Thank you.” He drawled out before walking round to the driver’s seat as you buckled in.

It’s uncomfortable between you both, you had cut the tension with a butter knife. You looked out of the window, watching as houses rolled past, you leant back a little and glanced to Lance. Admittedly he was handsome, anyone would say so, even you. He had a strong jaw, nice head of hair and his athlete’s body was always in top shape. 

When you first met him you were instantly attracted, then he opened his mouth and the more he talked, the less you wanted him to shove you up against a wall- maybe. Hope’s words played on your mind a little too much, you’d never… maybe. No, you wouldn’t. You swore you’d never have sex with Lance ‘The Fucker’ Tucker.

“Why are you back in Amherst?” You kept looking at him, he briefly cast his eyes to yours before looking back at the road, “you belong in LA with all the other gold medalists.”

He chuckled at that, “I came to see some raw talent, see if any of Hope’s and Ben’s amateurs have what it takes. Talent spotting, I guess.” He shrugged, “why’d you come back? Last I heard you were a Miami girl, also dating that Gold medalist from the United Kingdom; hate that guy!”

“Just cause he got the gold whilst you got the silver,” you chuckle and he doesn’t look at you, “I decided to come back and see Hope. Whilst everyone mocked me, she was the one who really stuck by me, I owe her something… I guess. And that ended, I’m not great at being in relationships where I’m constantly surrounded by people better than I am.” You didn’t mean for it to slip but it did, to Lance of all people.

“The British are not better,” he remarked and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “I thought, your quote not mine, that the British were more humble with their wins?” He had that arrogant tone as he repeated what you said many years ago.

“Well, they’re more humble than you,” you quip and he shrugs. “He liked hanging around the gold medalists, people would comment about my silver, as if I wasn’t a gold medal winner before. It’s amazing how one silver can bring down a whole career, suddenly I was losing my touch, I don’t know. Loser problems,” you laugh as he pulls into the hotel you’re staying in the carpark. “Plus, I don’t compete anymore or go to those events, he did and it just brought back all the wrong memories.”

You unbuckle your seatbelt, looking up as Lance watches you with raised eyebrows, you frown letting the seatbelt leave your upper body. “You proved today you haven’t lost your touch, apart from the bit where you fell because Hope said you needed my cock inside you, was it?”

You stop and look at him wide eyed, he has his cocky grin on but you’re too stunned to even say something witty or snide back. “You heard that? I forget how loud Hope’s voice is.”

Lance nodded, “And pitchy, listen I’m gonna ask this once; do you want to fuck me or not?”

“With that face, it would be a yes,” you see his grin spreading, “but with that fucking attitude, it’s a clear pass.” You grab your bag from the backseat and shove open the door, slamming it shut and stomping your way towards the hotel.

You hear his door open, “Y/N, stop! Wait a fucking minute.” He pulled you back by your jacket sleeve, you sighed and pulled your arm away and crossed them, “I’m sorry didn’t realise you were so finicky over who fucking fucks you.” You opened your mouth to retort but shake your head before turning. “Okay, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Lance, you could be the best guy I’d ever fuck but at the end of the day I know what it is,” he frowns at you, “I don’t need a pity fuck from a gold medalist to make myself feel better about myself, okay? I’ve been around enough guys willing to fuck me, let me wear their gold medal as they fucked me! That used to be me, I used to be able to offer that but my golds mean nothing like I would to you after.” You shuffle on your feet under his gaze, “I can’t handle you parading around that you got to fuck the ‘has been Y/N’, okay? Another ego boosts for Lance Tucker.”

It’s silent between you both as you stand in the carpark, he looks as though he’s going every word you spoke to him. You heft the bag over your shoulder some more, looking at him and sighing. “Thanks for driving me back, I appreciate it. This doesn’t mean I like you, I still hate your guts.”

He shrugs his shoulders lightly, side smirking as he stepped away from you. “It wouldn’t be a pity fuck, I don’t do pity fucks and the gold I have with me, you can’t wear it.” You frowned but knew what he meant, people talk and you simply chuckled. “The only thing I’d parade around is the fact I got to fuck Y/N Y/L/N, former gold and silver medalist, but I get it. You can’t handle me being the best fuck ever, so much so, you’d have to come back!”

You scoffed and he raised an eyebrow, “You’d have a challenge since the British may lose to Lance Tucker in gymnast but in fucking, they get a solid 10.5 overall.”

“That’s not very fair, the judge hasn’t me perform for herself,” he stepped closer than he was before. His body almost pressing up against yours as he looked down at you, “I’d very much like to compete.”

You were about to talk, maybe stop whatever was building but it was if Lance knew you were backing away. He gripped firmly on your hips, pulling you to him and connecting his lips to yours, it was so sudden that you didn’t react instantly. His lips were soft, unbearably soft against your own and you eventually fluttered your eyes closed and kissed back. He holds you a little tighter, releasing a little moan from you- unintentionally, he slips his tongue into your mouth. He pulls away with a satisfied smirk, you narrow your eyes pulling away from his hold and walking back towards the hotel.

Lance frowns, a little confused. “I’m not fucking you out here, Tucker.”


You unlock the door, throwing your bag to the ground and hear Lance kick the door closed. His hands grabbing hold of your hips pulling you back towards him, grinding slightly and moving your hair from your neck. His lips biting gently at the exposed skin, you bite your lip to keep from moaning, not wanting him to know the effect he has on you.

“We really shouldn’t do this,” You muttered more breathlessly than intended, Lance smirked against your neck, biting your earlobe teasingly. He spins you around, grinning devilishly at you.

“You have permission to stop this if you really want to, but I don’t think you want to… do you?” he winks and you shiver at the implications of his words.

After that it was a flurry of clothing, Lance unzipped your jacket and throwing it to the ground and hiking the tank top you wore up and off of your head. Hands palming at your breasts as you work on unzipping his own jacket, trying to shove it off of his broad shoulders as he continued to roughly play with your tits.  He unclasped your bra in a second, pulling it off and letting it drop to his feet and finally he did something with that arrogant mouth of his. He pushed you up against the wall, not caring for how hard he slammed you against it- despite the fact you bashed it not an hour ago, mouth latching onto one of your nipples and biting down harshly with his teeth causing you to whine.

Bucking against his hips you could feel his growing erection through the track pants he wore, you grinned inwardly at the feel of him against you, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair and tugging harshly but his assault continued with the other nipple. Taking the one he lavished between two knuckles and tugging, you tried to hold back the gasps by biting down hard on your bottom lip.

“If you don’t fucking make me cum in two minutes, I’m deducting points on execution,” Lance couldn’t help but chuckle around your nipple, causing the vibrations to shake through your body and you let your head fall back against the wall, groaning lightly at the contact.

Lance pulled back, mild concern, “You okay? You’re head earlier-”

“Don’t get sappy on me now,” You snap cutting him off and he smirked at your impatience.

Lance yanked down your shorts and panties, practically ripping them off of your legs and then made quick work on his own clothes, minimal help from you as you drank him in. One thing is for sure, he has every right to brag. He was toned, lean and just magnificent all around from head (lol sex puns) to toes. Your eyes danced over his tattoo, a small little giggle erupts from your mouth as you take it in, of course, Lance Tucker has the tattoo.

His abs clenched and contracted under his tanned skin, your eyes drift up to find him showing you the same intense stare. His own eyes washing over your body, falling over every muscle and feminine curve of you, licking his bottom lip as if what he was looking at was something delectable. You smirked as his hand reached out, pulling the hair-tie, letting your locks flow down, hand weaving into the strands and pulling you in for another heated kiss. All teeth and tongue, your hand lazily scratch down his chest, finding his member and giving a few light strokes.

“How about you show me your Needle Scale, you’ve always done them so well and look so fucking hot,” he clicked his tongue at the end of his sentence. Cocking an eyebrow as you gave a little smile.

Stepping around him and closer to the bed, knowing he is watching you intently emitted goosebumps over your skin, sending a thrilling wave of heat and tightness through your body. Without much hesitation you lift your right leg up, arching your torso as you held your ankle, grasping it and pushing your leg a little to stretch it. Looking up and watching your foot, you could feel Lance come up behind you, hands gently tracing down your calf and thigh.

His fingertips skimmed through your wetness, you let out a soft sigh and he gently prodded at your entrance. Taking his time, you gulped as he slowly pushed his digits inside of you, almost throwing you off balance on the one foot keeping you upright. You gasped as both of his fingers were now buried to the knuckle, gently scissoring your insides. You were shaking, your left leg quivering trying to keep the same balance.

“So,” Lance pulled his fingers out, “Fucking,” he punctuated the word by slamming his fingers back in, and out again using his other hand to hold your leg up, “Tight.” He did the same, except adding a third finger causing you to groan out.

His hand quickened it’s pace, you could hear the sounds of him fingering you in the silent room and you could feel his left hand tighten on your ankle. Keeping your body in the Needle Scale, possibly the longest you’ve ever held this position for, you weren’t going to complain about the circumstances. Although, the stretch you felt in the tops of your thighs. The feel of Lance’s erection prodding your straight, quivering leg. 

The coil in your lower tummy tightened considerably, the warmth rushing through your body. Then he withdraws, pulling his wet fingers from your aching, needy core and letting your leg drop.

You turn to glare at Lance, asking what his fucking problem was but was met with him licking those fingers. He’s such an asshole, he knows it from the smug smirk on his face. You were so close to smacking him, till he pushed you on the bed, crawling over you with a predatory smile. “I was gonna properly taste you, but having you like this, well… they’ll be other times.” He winks cockily.

You were about to retort before you felt Lance aligned himself, giving no hesitation he slammed all the way in, groaning in your ear and you let out a loud moan. It had been a while since anyone had been inside of you, plus with Lance’s impressive side it took a few hard, deep thrusts to get used to. You panted as he set a good rhythm, your nails scratching down his back, your hands gripping his tight ass to encourage him to go faster.

“God, you’re so fucking tight still,” Lance moaned, growling as he started to pound into you, you dig your nails into his hard flesh and close your eyes, mouth open to keep yourself breathing.

Lance grabbed a hold of your legs, spreading them wider, keeping his pace as he stretched your legs to rest on his shoulders.  “F-fuck! God, Lance.” You groaned as the new position made him go deeper, the sounds of his groans and skin slapping skin, filled your ears. Sweat covering both of your bodies.

He leant down, pushing your legs down towards your body as he kissed your lips roughly, biting on your lower lip and tugging as he felt your walls clench around him. You were so close, you pulled back from the kiss, throwing your head back as a series of profanities and his name mixed spewed from you. Lance began sucking, biting and teasing the soft skin on your neck, keeping him from releasing loud moans of his own. A few hard thrusts had you on the tip of orgasm, he could sense that as he reached down between your stretched legs and began small, tight circles onto your clit.

“You close?” His breathing erratic, all you could do was a nod, “I want you riding me when you cum.” Is all he manages to say, you whimper as he pulled out of you after one hard thrust. Your legs drop as he grabs a hold of your hips, landing on the bed beside on his back, helping you straddle his waist and guide you back to him. His fingers dig into your hips, helping you set a quick and hard pace on top of him.

One hand sneaking up your ribs and groping a breast, kneading and pulling at the hardened peak as you gasped. Your own hands resting on his chest, nails digging in as rubbed and circled your hips over him; thighs burning from the position earlier and now the task of raising and falling on his dick- it was a strenuous task. Lance planted his feet on the mattress and started to pound up into you, his thumb sneaking back to gather wetness where he entered you and exited you to rub against your nub.

Bringing you to the brink of orgasm again, only this time with one punishing thrust he had you coming undone, repeating his name like it was a prayer. Your walls fluttered around his cock, riding your orgasm till he hit his. His back arched up as he came suddenly, spilling inside of you, erratic hip thrusts as he milked himself of his cum into you.

The only sounds now in the room was your panting breaths making you realise how loud your sex actually was; mattress creaking under you, skin on skin, Lance’s groans and your high pitched moans. Your hands still clung to his chest as you body was still spasming, twitching from the orgasm. Palms sliding down his sweaty torso, his own hand dragged carelessly down from your breast to your waist, clutching you there. Your hair clung to the sweat on the back of your neck plus forehead, cheeks flushed pink and you were still fully sheathed on Lace.

“So,” Lance’s voice hoarse and rough, “what’s my score?” His eyes blinked open, half-lidded as he looked up at you. You frowned, still too dazed to fully get what he was saying till you remembered the conversation from earlier.

You leant down, resting your elbows on his abdomen as you smirked. “What’d you think you got?”  

“Above those fucking British snobs?!” He grinned at you, raising an eyebrow in question.

You chuckled lightly, “13.8.” His eyes narrow darkly as you grin broadly, quirking an eyebrow of your own. You gasp as he circles his own hips, reminding you he was still inside of you, bringing himself to half-mast already.

“Give me that gold, Y/N.” He grins cockily as you push yourself up again.

“Then earn it, Tucker!”

(God, if this is terrible I am so sorry. I edited this for two days straight, plus first ever Lance thing and it was smut- which isn’t something I am too confident with. Like I said, the more I write about him the better I’ll get, so by all means… Request some Lance Tucker stuff! I also have a series idea, should I consider writing that? - Rosalee) When you’re British and make Lance hate you, I’d stil fuck him even if he spoke shit about my Nations athlete’s 

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my final paper………… complete

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

THANK YOU @starlit-tea  (our marecal shipper friend) FOR DRAWING THIS ILY





“So, I can’t technically pay rent right now…”

“Did you hear the part about the dinner and or movies?”

“I mean, i’m not broke or anything but I’m waiting for my book to sell and-”

“Oh! You’re a writer?”

“Well I mean, kind of.  I mostly post online.. it’s a lot of small stuff but I think it’s really-”

“Ooooh god you’re talking about fan fiction aren’t you?”


JFC good thing your sister has a good job buddy. 

anonymous asked:

"K//@nce is everywhere" omg I know. I went into a stream of some cosplayers I like today, and one of them was cosplaying A/tean /ance, and he looked great in that cosplay, and another one I didn't really know was as Ke/ith, and they looked good too. The cosplayer I follow mainly was there as Shir0. About 15 mins in, these two ppl start screaming and spamming "K/4nce" over and over until no one could chat. Like, honestly, ship what you want but don't be so damn rude on a non-shipping stream jfc

ughhh yeah i feel….tbh literally today i was looking though the fer//ngully tag bc i miss that movie and what do u kno!! theres kl//ance in the tag;;; lIKE I CANT GO INTO ANYTHING I LIKE BC ITS GOING TO BE FUCKING EVERYWHERE ITS ANNOYING

anonymous asked:

I made an awful bark laugh at that spirk/kock post, jfc, the amount of spirk on my dash is v good rn

1. I did choke on that (no innuendo intended)

2. I am glad that you’re enjoying the spirk, I was really worried I was annoying people with it but gaahhh I love it so much I need to go rewatch the movies n the show n stuff man…. I need to see a l l


Tagged by: @simplywadewilson
Relationship status: taken by @lunafound (I love you so much, my dearest)
Favorite color: Black–like my soul (Haha, just kidding, I’m not emo)
Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick
Last song I listened to: You Got to go by Above and Beyond (Seven Lions Remix)
Last movie I watched: Deadpool (Ironically, cause of who tagged me)
Top three tv shows: Lucifer, Gravity Falls, Supernatural
Top three characters: Sam Alexander, Raffe, Rhysand
Top three ships: Raphael/Yume, (A ship from my other blog), Richard/Wade (First ship on this blog), Rhysand/Feyre
Books I’m currently reading: Jfc, got so many. Here we go; The Bear and the Nightingale, Good Omens, Angelfall, Throne of Glass, Dreams of Gods and Monsters, Battlemage, Scythe, Crooked Kingdom, City of Bones, etc (Read all of them several times over)

tagging @ofstxrsandgalaxies @ironmaidenfan @thexkestrel @lunafound @forcebeams

So I Watched Moana

- Baby!Moana was too cUTE OH MY GODDD??

- I adore Moana and her family. They are so supportive and caring.

-  Everything in this movie was so…colorful and vibrant…I LOVE IT

- Maui is strong and beautiful and everything good in the world all rolled into one broad shouldered demigod. *Protect my son*


- Hei Hei is obviously the most well fleshed out character of this movie. Obviously.

- “Coconuts”

- Crying because the relationship between Moana and her grandmother is so real to me and it was beautifully shown *thanks Disney*


I loved this movie so much for showing such a beautiful story from Polynesia and for enriching my life. Definitely worth a million rewatches and worth preserving

The Phantom Menace: Now This Is Drinking™

My drunk liveblog of The Phantom Menace is as follows goodbye:

  • Lol these politics are not making sense already
    • Isn’t a trade federation like, a conglomerate of entities that trade
    • Not one autonomous entity that taxes trade routes between other entities
    • Jedi Knights, “Guardians of Peace and Justice

Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

  • K first line from a Jedi is “I have a bad feeling about this” yep me fuckin’ too, about this movie and about the saga as a whole
  • Obi-Wan has a bad feeling about something “elsewhere…elusive” perhaps good ol sheev sticking his dick all up in the senate is what you’re sensing?
  • “close the blast doors…that will hold them” ok, that’s up for most poorly delivered line in the whole saga
  • “this is an odd play for the trade federation” is it really tho are u really surprised
  • That Amidala dress is so iconic I could cry just looking at it
  • I feel really sorry for the actors playing the trade federation
  • And jar jar kinks has arrived
  • “Exscqueeze me” JFC that line is dated
  • God obi-wan is hot why the fuck did pamde go for Anakin are you srs
  • Why is the gungan city theme so fucking ominous
    • IS IT
  • And why the FUCK did that fool have to use the phrase “big doo doo” jfc George lucas how 1995 can you be
  • I’m not drunk enough for gungan speak. Time fr another shot.
  • “What is to become of Jar Jar Binks”, says Qui-Gon
    • Funny, the fandom is still asking the same question
  • Was this movie geared towards 5-year-olds
    • yes
  • The invasion of naboo is not happening quickly enough
  • “coruscant uhh that doesn’t compute uhh wait YOU’RE UNDER ARREST” battle droid humor is lethal. Kill me
  • Qui gonn is gon lookin’ for a remote planet called tattooine
  • Please George lucas I don’t want to hear how jar jar kinks begins his day
  • Wy did natalie portman have to be 14
  • Jake Lloyd I am so sorry
  • Qui gon is doing such a better job of putting up with watto than I would
  • “mind tricks don’t work on me, only money” same watto, same
  • Not that I know shit but Anakin sounds like he has a pretty heavy accent when speaking in watto language
  • “we have nothing of value”, says qui gon. But wat about the fallen prince of gungan land
  • Pretty sure this fucker selling fried frogs in the market is unkar plutt
  • Ya padme the republic doesn’t exist out here ever heard of the OUTER RIM U 1% scum
  • “is there anyone friendly to the republic who can help us” and SHCMI SAYS “NO” LMFAO I AM DYING
  • “there was no father”…………………K
    • Yes there was
    • His name is sheev
  • Can I just skip the podracing scene
  • My dick has 20,000 midichlorians
  • Darth maul’s exit of his ship is just like kylo;s and I am aTTRACTed 2 it
  • Why have I never noticed sebulba getting a massage
  • The jar jar fart joked makes me want to eat myself from the inside out until I am oblivious that it ever happened
  • I’m sebulba
  • Is that jabba™
    • Or another hutt
  • Sebulba yelling while flying his pod is how I feel watching this movie
  • That two-headed fucker sportscaster is one of the most poorly animated things I have ever seen
  • Schmi looking away from her holopad and cringing needs to be gif’d
  • “why do I sense we’ve picked up another pathetic life form” thank you obi-wan
  • And so anakin’s whining begins
  • Can we appreciate schmi skywalker 4 one sec plox
  • There are few things more attractive to me than a man in a cloak
  • Seripusly why did you pick ankin wobi-wan was right ther
  • Amidala’s outfits are breathtaking
  • And so is palpatine’s hair
  • Me waiting for Anakin to bring balance to the force
  • Mace windu is fucking DONE
  • Dear George lucas: u can’t just stick a horse head on a human body and call it an alien
  • “the boy is dangerous they can all sense it why can’t you” KEEP IT REAL, OBI-WAN
  • “u won’t be a problem, ani” – qui gon k tell that to your dead apprentice
  • Anakin’s about to fuckin cry watching padme talk to gungan king
    • The first of many cries
  • Liam neeson looks like he was so fucking over this gungan alliance scene before they even filmed it
  • Why does padme speak so differently now that she’s outed as the queen
  • Were people impressed by battle droids when they first saw the CGI hordes of them in theaters real question
  • Darth maul enters naboo fight scene—cue arousal
  • Darth maul removed hood, arousal intensifies
  • Abakin pulling misc levers in the cockpit and somehow this lil shitshow takes off in the fuckin speeder LOOK HOW #BLESSED HE IS
  • The deflector shield is too strong what’s fuckin new
  • Since when does padme have a batman grappling hook
  • Is there a single scene in this movie that doesn’t have CGI
  • I love seeing qui-gon on his knees
  • Obi-wan tryna keep it together
  • The obi-wan vs maul scene is dope af
  • Let qui-gons be bygones
  • Kiss ur fuckin trade franchise goodbye goodbye bitch
  • “qui-gon’s defiance I sense in u” heard that
  • And alas, my favorite shit in the whole movie; jedi funeral
  • Newsflash: darth maul is still alive
  • And I’m turning this shit off before the gungan parade makes me vomit all this precious booze up


The movie is really fun, I enjoyed it a lot, but not nearly as good as DOFP.

I always enjoy the X-Men movies (except for Last Stand, that one doesn’t count as an X-Men movie), but I always walk out feeling like they didn’t quite get there you know? I always feel like the most important parts happened off screen.

But anyway, I never expect too much, so it’s always a fun ride no matter what happens, so I’m gonna stick to what I liked.

There are no words for the Quicksilver scene, it was inexplicably amazing! They topped the last one. I didn’t think it was possible, but they did!

Jean was another highlight, although her introduction wasn’t as well handled as I’d like, but she shines later on so it makes up for it somewhat. I always feel like the character introductions are never so great. We got Jean, Scott and Storm being introduced in this one, and all 3 lacked the impact that these characters finally showing up should have, in my opinion.

But anyway, back to Jean. Oh man, when Charles starts telling her to let it all go, no fear, it gave me chills! We got a small glimpse of the Phoenix and it was already awesome, if this doesn’t lead into the Phoenix saga it’s going to be the greatest waste ever.

Jean with Charles was particularly amazing. Their dynamic has always been incredible in all the movies and one of my absolute favorites. They’ve always had this unique connection and trust in each other that I absolutely love! To see the beginning of that was truly amazing!

Jean and Logan guys! My shipper heart!! Their scene was amazing!!! You could feel the connection and the tension immediately! I thought it was gonna be weird given that she’s still a teenager, but it wasn’t at all! They handled it perfectly and beautifuly. It was just truly special!

Charles guys, CHARLES!!! My love, my life, my reason for being! So proud of my baby happily running his school, shaping young minds, making plans for the future, wanting to include as many people as possible! It was so freaking good to see Charles being the person he was always meant to be, being the beacon of light and hope that Logan told him he would be. After everything that happened in the last one, to see him back on track and so strong and whole, he’s so freaking strong in this movie guys! UGH! Perfection! He’s the best part of the movie as usual. 

And everyone’s ultimate motivation in this movie is Charles, even the villain’s, I freaking loved that, it was amazing!

There wasn’t as much Cherik as I’d like, but we got this one scene that completely makes up for it, I was not expecting it at all!

And a little side note, JFC James McAvoy looks so good in this movie that it’s actually distracting, it was like looking into the sun. Seriously, there are no words!


Parker’s a young kid, pretty good on the sax. Gets up to play at a cutting session and he fucks it up. And Jones nearly decapitates him for it. And he’s laughed off-stage. Cries himself to sleep that night but the next morning, what does he do? He practices. And he practices and he practices with one goal in mind: never to be laughed at again. And a year later, he goes back to the Reno… and he steps up on that stage and he plays the best motherfucking solo the world has ever heard. So imagine if Jones had just said, “Well, that’s okay Charlie. Eh… that was alright. Good job.” Then Charlie thinks to himself, “Well, shit. I did do a pretty good job.” End of story, no Bird. That, to me, is… an absolute tragedy… There are no two words in the English language more harmful than “good job.


Short Disney Challenge . { Day 01 // Favorite Quote }  | Ratatouille (2007)

“You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true - anyone can cook… but only the fearless can be great.”

ok so psycho pass movie comes with:

- tsunemori BADASS akane

- kougami shinya (he’s BACK EVERYONE)

- ginoza in a ponytail jfc ahahaha LMAO

- some sort of world war idk

- mentions of makishima shougo (we know he’s dead but him being mentioned is making me happy oh god)

- terrorists

- ling tosite sigure sings the theme once again