that movie makes no sense

5

Marichat May Day 27: Baking

Marinette, you totally walked into that.

The cookies were made in the end tho (but in an uncomfortable silence)

Uhm but where did the music come from

This is why you shouldnt leave alone a god who has been sleeping for years with your computer and totally access to your movie collection, Marinette.

every time i watch clueless i’m shocked that cher horowitz wasn’t intentionally written as a closeted lesbian struggling with compulsory heterosexuality because that’s literally the only interpretation of that movie that makes any sense to me whatsoever

4

the calendar // panic! at the disco

Power Rangers Playing Mario Kart Headcanon

This was requested by @seriouslyslippingoutofcontrol

  •  They play every Saturday in Billy’s basement. His mom makes like a full seven layer dip and everything.
  • They order a pizza each and billy’s mom doesn’t even bat an eye.
  • Jason never gets to play the first round. So he makes it a point to lay across the whole couch. The group just sits on top of him. Except Jasons head will be in Billy’s lap…… with his permission of course  
  • Trini no matter how hard she tries can never break past 5th place, except for once on a rare occasion. She doesn’t like to talk about it. 
  • Zack always comes in last Place and blames Trini for it. This usually ends in a wrestling match on the floor. Trini usually coming out on top until Kim joins the mess and wins the battle.
  • Billy almost always wins. He studied the game far too much to lose to these simpletons.
  • Kim plays to screw up other peoples games. She is the one to consistently  send out the blue shell on Billy. “I can’t even be mad cause thats my color”
  • One time Trini was actually in first place then Kim kissed her as a distraction. it was a simple peck, but she was a mess. Billy won the match not understanding why his fellow rangers roared with laughter as Trini sat there in shock.
  • Jason got so into the game once that he knocked the 7 layer dip clear across the room. it took them hours to clean it up “how did this shit end up OUTSIDE of the window?!?!?”
  • Whenever Jason gets close to winning zack is there to slap his remote out of his hand, resulting in another wrestling match.
  • The night usually ends with them in a pile sleeping on the floor with the game menu playing on loop, Until Billy’s mom comes downstairs Turns off the television then lays blankets over the bunch of them

no offense but who is the leading art director of this movie. the reverse pillow shading that in hindsight makes no sense at all. the facial expression that conveys an emotion not yet invented. the jarring magenta of the chocolate bar wrapping that for most people who have experience with 2d games bring back memories of The Absolute Magenta, a pink so eyefuckingly ugly it is essentially only used as the “transparency color” only because nobody right in their mind would use it as a design element. the fucking eyes

okay, i’m just putting this out here because it needs to be said and i’m sick of letting the bullshit train continue when i could help stop - or at least bring attention to - it. i have a friend who is diplegic and therefore uses a manual chair (her twin was also quadriplegic and in a motorized chair) and when we watch movies with wheelchairs in them, we like to critique the designs.

do you know why mcavoy couldn’t/can’t drive his motorized wheelchair? BECAUSE THE FUCKING WHEELS ARE ON THE WRONG WAY. HANK MCCOY, WHO IS SUPPOSEDLY A “GENIUS”, DESIGNED THE WHEELCHAIR SO THE BIG WHEELS ARE ON THE FRONT AND THE SMALL WHEELS ARE ON THE BACK.

LOOK!

LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. DO YOU KNOW WHY HE CAN’T DRIVE IT? THE SMALL WHEELS ARE AT THE FRONT BECAUSE THEY ARE SMALL AND THEREFORE ALLOW FOR LOTS OF FINE CONTROL, AND THE BIG WHEELS ARE AT THE BACK BECAUSE THEY OFFER POWER. WHEN THE BIG WHEELS ARE ON THE FRONT IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO CONTROL WHERE YOU ARE GOING. IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU WALK BACKWARDS ON A BIKE AND TRY TO STEER STILL WITH THE HANDLEBARS. I SAT BACKWARDS ON MY FRIEND’S MANUAL CHAIR AND TRIED TO WHEEL MYSELF. IT WAS LIKE COMPLETELY REWIRING MY MOTOR SKILLS EVERY SECOND I WAS MOVING. IT. IS. BULLSHIT. AND ALL OF CHARLES’ CHAIRS ARE LIKE THIS!!! HANK!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!

ALSO. Charles would have THE WORST backpain from that stiff-ass unnecessary fuckin metal backrest that goes all the way up. YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE’S BACKS GET UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN SITTING FOR HOURS ON A LONG PLANE OR CAR RIDE???? YOU KNOW THAT FEELING??? THAT FEELING IS THIS CHARLES’ LIFE, OKAY. HIS BACK HAS TO BE UNNATURALLY STRAIGHT ALL THE TIME. THIS CRITIQUE IS TAKEN FROM MY FRIEND’S EXPERIENCE BECAUSE SHE ALSO HAS A HARD BACK CHAIR AND HAS BEEN TOLD SHE’S GOING TO HAVE AWFUL BACK AND SHOULDER PROBLEMS BECAUSE OF IT. YET HARD BACKS ARE STANDARD AND SLING BACKS - LIKE THE ONE I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU IN A SECOND - ARE NOT! THIS IS BECAUSE THE WHEELCHAIR-GETTING SYSTEM IS COMPLETELY BROKEN AND IT’S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD REALLY CARE ABOUT BUT IT IS A RANT FOR ANOTHER DAY). THE POINT IS, CHARLES’ BACK IS ONE HURTIN’ UNIT IN THIS CHAIR I GUARANTEE YOU. HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T NEED IT FOR TRUNK CONTROL. HE HAS AMAZINGLY FREE RANGE OF MOVEMENT ABOVE HIS HIPS. THIS CHAIR IS  B U L L S H I T. HE CAN’T DRIVE, HE CAN’T SIT UP IN A COMFORTABLE WAY. POOR BABY IS H U R T I N G  but right, Hank’s ~~a genius~~

In contrast, look at this chair!

Look at those tiny-ass wheels on the front! The user of this could spin ON A DIME. It’s Nice as Fuck. Look at that back. (Okay I’m not 1000% certain it’s a slingback) but it doesn’t go all the way up the user’s back! That’s some free-range-of-movement-let-your-spine-do-almost-anything-it-wants-shit right there. Since Charles pretty clearly has full use of his trunk in the movies, this would make much more sense. Also, Ann (friend) and I really don’t see why he would want an electric wheelchair when he clearly could have a manual one that allows for even more control. 

AND OKAY, all wheelchairs should be specific to their users. Some people need more back support. In Ann’s quadriplegic brother’s chair there was a neck brace and little wing things on the side that came out and clamped around his body. Some people’s foot rests need to go out like Charles’ does (whether or not he requires this is kind of foggy, espc. since the overall design is so. asinine.). Some need their footrests to be more in like the orange chair. Some people get tilted wheels, some people don’t. (Also the process for deciding this is bullshit - on government insurance they will only build your chair with the assumption that you will never leave your house and therefore it’s almost impossible to get ‘add ons’ like sling backs and tilted wheels and under-the-seat brakes WHICH SHOULD BE STANDARD, AGAIN, BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T HAVE THEM YOU COULD HAVE MORE MEDICAL ISSUES DOWN THE ROAD OMG THIS SYSTEM IS SO BROKEN). 

But I think we can ALL fucking agree that your wheels should go on the goddamn correct way so you can, you know, steer. And that maybe your chair should be designed more like a mobility assistance device than a fucking 1860′s gentleman’s club wingback for no goddamn earthly reason.

SHIT this stuff gets me riled up.

the signs as i know them
  • aries: has a great sense of humour. soft voice. strong willed and stubborn. kind. fair. stunning appearance. doesn't talk much about feelings. adventurous. neither angry nor up to a fight 24/7. dreams of starting a family. gets along with people. never insults or hurts others on purpose. is actually quite sensitive.
  • taurus: master of organization. sometimes a little confused. is stubborn and rarely changes their opinion but always listens to what other people have to say. quiet when lost in thoughts. financial genius. generous. sometimes a little mean. will never let you down. great friend / husband / dad. is actually a great cook but doesn't eat 24/7. does sports and loves nature. is a "wow look at the moon"-person.
  • gemini: clever. hates boredom. always has a plan b/c/d. cares for their education. talks a lot. sometimes lost in thoughts. tends to overthink. always have a great story to tell. never underestimates others. believes in their friends. always know the answer. is not annoying 24/7. know when to shut up. bright smile. active. loves adventure. never shouting when angry. doesn't let others feel their anger. nature-lover.
  • cancer: very caring. will ask you how your day has been. invites you to their house to make popcorn and watch your favourite movie/series. very funny. good sense of fashion. is the friend who will take you home when you're drunk. makes sure you're ok. is fascinated by science. lovely eyes. adorable. never loud but always present. emotional but not a cry-baby.
  • leo: proud and loud. not easily insulted but when they are they roar. knows so many cultures. is interested in new things. can be very soft but won't show it unless they trust you. bright smile. always polite. will be there for you when you need them. unique sense of fashion. hard workers. chatty. always know how to handle a difficult situation. reliable. trustworthy.
  • virgo: feel much more than they would admit. don't have many friends but would do anything for the friends they have. careful. neither waste money nor time. a little stingy. the friend that feels what you feel. can read your mind sometimes. loves to surprise people. to be avoided when angry. calm down easily. loves to make others smile. sometimes too caring. loyal.
  • libra: sometimes a little weird. hardworking. sometimes they believe in themselves, sometimes they give up on themselves. aesthetic-lovers. usually very well dressed. polite. interested in art, history and literature. doubt their skills a lot. sometimes a little absent. instead of shouting they don't talk. loves conversations with new people.
  • scorpio: NOT EVIL AT ALL!! very emotional but never reckless. you can call them at 3am and they will be there for you. sometimes they don't know what to do with all their feelings but they will never let you suffer because of that. the best friends. adorable. stunning look. hard voices, hard souls, soft heart. are interested and show their interest in you and your feelings. will apologize immediately when they see they treated you wrong and they are truly sorry. mysterious. when they trust you they tell you everything. a little revengeful but would never harm others.
  • sagittarius: hilarious. clever. tell great jokes. are interested and caring. fight issues. don't show their emotions. won't be angry for long. colourful people with colourful minds. somehow they always know what's going on. love to work out. learn languages quite fast. honest.
  • capricorn: serious people. sometimes very stubborn. well educated. strong. smart. working to achieve their goals. never ever ever give up. never show defeat. don't cry very often. love the sun. good at making friends. do not forgive easily. forgive but don't forget. will remember almost everything they did / heard / said in their lives. loyal. know what they're worth.
  • aquarius: entertaining. bright personality. you can always spot their voice. has a very emotional part they won't show anyone. can make a bad situation good. great friends. sometimes a little bossy. tend to put on a show. won't mess around. chatty and makes new friends easily and quite often. has many friends but only like 2-3 real friends they would trust with their lives. hate to show when they hurt. very intelligent.
  • pisces: not crying 24/7. not weak at all. develop crushes easily but get over them very fast. either things don't mean anything to them or they mean the world to them. lost in daydreams but have the brightest fantasy. can be a storm. if they see you treat them wrong they leave. loyal to the people they love. can be revengeful. scheming. knows exactly what people deserve. would never harm anyone who doesn't deserve it. want justice. hard to get. hard to understand. great friends. worth the fight. will hold your hand and go through hell with you. passionate lovers.

anonymous asked:

What If one of the fakes had a high school reunion or something like that and just took the crew and it somehow ended in a shoot out with the cops.

Let’s just be clear, it’s not a pride thing. Geoff has never cared what people said about him, not outside a professional sense anyway; he knew exactly who he was, what he was capable of, even before he’d taken an entire city to its knees. So it’s not that he felt the need to prove himself, it’s just that there’s something particular about high school trauma, isn’t there? Something that lingers, even when it shouldn’t, something that emerges from even the most upstanding adults when thrown back together for a reunion, the bullies and the bullied, all desperate to show what they’ve become.

Geoff’s last high school was nothing like he’d ever been to before, a snobby upper-crust hellhole he was only in because his Ma’s third husband pulled some strings, and the other students were quick to point out just how much he didn’t belong. Between the tattoos and the smoking, the lazy looks and slow sneering drawl, it was always all too easy to label Geoff a loser, a drop out, trailer park trash everyone knew would be washing their cars one day. Never mind that he scored higher than most of his cohort even when skipping more or less every class, never mind that he is possibly the most well-read crime-lord in the country, back then he had an image and teenagers are relentless. Not that Geoff was all that phased even at the time, only a year or so away from the day he picked up his first gun and never looked back, but it’s the principal of the thing.

So when an invite forwards through from an email so old he’d forgotten he’d even made it Geoff has to laugh. Then pause, consider, hatch an utterly ridiculous idea, and laugh some more. Because he might not care, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy ruining the night for all the pathetic stuck-up nobodies he went to school with; rubbing your success in everyone’s faces is what reunions are for, after all. The fact that it has a theme, that it is masquerade of all things, really just cements Geoff’s resolve to drag his crew halfway across the country into one of the strangest nights of their lives.

Everyone knows the option to bring a guest to these events is, in reality, the offer to bring a romantic partner, singular, but it isn’t technically stated. There are no rules barring Geoff from RSVP-ing for 7, so that’s exactly what he does. Sure he receives a few increasingly less polite emails suggesting he’d been mistaken but he doesn’t even bother opening them, doesn’t try to clarify that he is bringing his friends, his family, not his entire harem. Let them talk; they’d do it anyway. Plus, it’s not like the Fake’s aren’t all entirely too pleased with the suggestion, cackling hyenas who spend the next few weeks laying it on thick, batting their eyes and blowing Geoff kisses, picking out increasingly absurd meet-cute stories to tell his scandalised classmates. Between creating new identities and playing dress up in masks and suits they couldn’t be happier.

Masks or not they catch every eye in the room when they make their entrance and why wouldn’t they; Geoff and his unusual request must have been the talk of the rumour mill and identity hidden or not clearly this must be Geoff, it’s not like anyone else brought along 6 dates. As stage whispers hit a dull roar it’s obvious no one was prepared for what they were seeing, perhaps imagined instead stained tank tops and a string of strung-out baby mama’s, not expensively tailored suits and an attractively refined entourage. Paying the noise no heed Geoff swans into the room with Jack looking elegant on one arm, Gavin at his most Ken-doll glamorous tucked under the other, flanked on either side by Ryan, Michael, Jeremy and Ray, all dressed to impress.

Shock and jealousy aren’t good looks on anyone, let alone rich brats turned elitist yuppies, so Geoff’s classmates behave just as poorly as he’d anticipated, years and newfound maturity doing nothing to stop the tittering laughter, the sneers and judgmental looks, fake pleasantry and condescending questions. But then, his crew didn’t exactly play nice with them either.

Ray and Jeremy immediately beeline to the food table and bar, respectively, and each set themselves up and settle in for the night; loud, obnoxious and tactlessly talking about everyone around them. When asked about themselves or their relationship to Geoff they’re both frustratingly vague, Jeremy chattering away without saying much at all and Ray simply staring people down until they can’t bear the tension.

Michael and Ryan set off together to explore the room but quickly separate to accommodate their vastly different methods of surveillance. Ryan skulks into the background, ducking numerous attempts to catch his interest in favour of fading into unlit corners and empty nooks, frightening the life out of anyone trying to slip away for some private time. Michael, on the other hand, seems determined to be the life of the party, cheerfully making conversation only to laugh in the face of every so-called achievement, ruffling feathers and causing major offence wherever he goes.

Gavin slinks off like a man on a mission and doesn’t come back for over an hour, offering no explanation for the absence beyond a dangerously self-satisfied smirk. His work becomes obvious soon enough anyway, once the yelling starts; Geoff’s two main high-school tormentors, mentioned only in passing stories over the years, simultaneously having huge, public, relationship-ending blow ups with each of their significant others. What are the odds? Across the hall Gavin laughs, all tinkling glass and sparkling charm, smoothly working the room like Michael’s mirror opposite.

Jack stays at Geoff’s side all night, hackles raised into something abnormally cold and unimpressed any time someone comes up to speak to them, protective instincts in full force no matter how often Geoff claims to be unaffected. He fills her in on all the worst gossip about those who approach, and as the night progresses and general unease begins to spread Jack mellows, sinking back into something sweet and mocking, somehow even more unsettling playing docile arm-candy than she was rabid guard dog.

Throughout the night the Fake AH Crew remain a key topic of every casual conversation; they might have been regardless, even this far from Los Santos no one can get enough of their scandals, but with the huge heist pulled just last week there was no way to avoid it, everyone has their two cents, their praise and condemnation. It’s too funny, the whole crew killing themselves trying not to break character, to laugh or correct or manipulate the conversation but all their self-control is well rewarded in the end.

Half the room removed their masks less than an hour into the night; too difficult to eat and talk and drink in, too vain to keep their hard earned looks covered, so it’s not at all strange when the Fake’s start to follow suit. Jeremy and Ray start it, the newest member and the one caught on camera the least often, casually dropping their masks mid-conversation. They each get a confused squint or two, a double glance, a few individuals trying to place them, remember how they’d met before, why they were so familiar.

Next came Gavin and Michael, having goaded each other out onto the dance-floor they were playing as much as they were moving to the music, laughing and grappling and generally making a bit of a scene. They snatch off each other’s masks as they play and the looks double, because alone they’re each distinctive but together, together, people have seen those faces together, somewhere they’ve seen them and so often together..

Last is Jack and Geoff, more graceful than their counterparts and moving with far more purpose they reveal their faces in the centre of the room and, like a party trick, they instantly catch the whole room’s attention. Out of context, in ones and twos where they don’t belong, the members of the FAHC could be mistaken but no one in the country would fail to recognise Ramsey and Patillo, the kingpin and his right hand, rulers of the most well-known gang in the US. And here they stand, casually mingling at a high school reunion.

In the calm before the storm the crew gravitates back towards one another, can almost see the cogs turning around them, the lightbulbs flickering on in a slow ripple spreading out across the room, disbelief and the first hint of horror swirling together as people start unconsciously reaching for their phones. As Ryan slips back out and wanders over, the last still masked, always masked, the chatter seems to crescendo then crash into something still and almost silent as a room full of entitled trust-fund babies recognise their own terror.

Finally uncovered and flanked by his family Geoff’s grin creeps across his face, slow and violent and more confirmation than anyone needed as he lets the oppressive tension sit for a long moment, arms spreading out to his sides like a magician revealing a clever trick before he breaks the silence; Surprise motherfuckers.

Guns are pulled from jackets and from there it’s all running and screaming, no honour or courage, just a stampede for the exits to the sound of cackling laughter and the occasional aimless pot-shot. The Fake’s aren’t looking for lives, not worth the hassle really, and this job certainly has no monetary reward beyond the wallets Geoff’s filthy little thieves have no doubt absconded with, but the fear in the air is delightful and even the sound of incoming sirens can’t ruin the mood. If anything it only hypes them up further, all savage grins and ramping excitement as they make for doors, reloading their weapons and pumping themselves up for a whole new police force to terrorise, Geoff’s magnificent little miscreants.

On the way out they pass a wall of yearbook photos, blown up large and captioned with names and all the old superlative awards. Ryan stumbles to a halt and snorts, snatching one off the wall and tucking it into his jacket to take back to the penthouse, though not before flashing the Lads a glance at that all too recognisable face, sending them into peals of screeching laughter as they pour out into the night. Geoffrey Fink; Least likely to succeed. 

Y’all acting like predicting an alien threat to MCU’s Earth is some wildly amazing thing that no one could do unless they were ‘paranoid’! 

Aliens have already attacked! They actually attacked out of a big giant hole in the sky! And they whooped our asses but for the grace of six people, some really brave police/firemen, and a re-directed nuke. We also have big shiny fuck-off energy stones all around our earth that are clearly not from around here that people keep fighting over, and we know that Loki wasn’t acting alone.

Tony was the only one who saw the full might of what one attack brought, Tony is the only one beside Thor (and Fury) that is appreciating just what kind of force could be brought to bear against Earth, but Tony has apparently informed these suckers multiple times about what they’re up against and nobody chose to listen. Also Tony, “The Futurist is here!”, Tony Stark, Actual Genius, has been established as hyper-vigilant about future threats, both homegrown and far-flung.

Tony already had a plan in place for preparing for extraterrestrial threats before Wanda fucked with his head and before the Mind Stone fucked with Ultron that wasn’t ready for implementation but was a big idea in his head. “But his PTSD just made him paranoid” yes his PTSD is a big part of his character, so thrilled you finally noticed, he still did it and no one else did and this has been established for multiple movies so take your L and piss off.

these gay bricks can’t believe they’re in love

[ listen ]

1. I’m Your Villain - Franz Ferdinand | 2. The Long Way Down - Robert DeLong | 3. Purple Yellow Red And Blue - Portugal. The Man | 4. Happy Idiot - TV On The Radio | 5. R U Mine? - The Arctic Monkeys | 6. Be Your Shadow - The Wombats | 7. Genghis Khan - Miike Snow | 8. Bite - Troye Sivan  

[ art ]

i have been thinking a lot about superheroes, and how the millennium children were born without one. we live in the aging heroes of our parents and grandparents, the familiar stories with problems from eras before our own; where victory comes as a result of hard work and dedication, where goodness and truth are a promised ending.

our heroes got old. our heroes had life breathed into them again only for us to start seeing the problems: it was fantasy, there was nothing to believe in. our heroes haven’t been reborn, only a few new ones have been made. we grew up reading about worlds where justice meant something only to wake up where justice is unequal, where rich means powerful and rich means getting away with it and rich means the hero comes to dinner with you instead of spending it in brooklyn on the subway. 

we watched other people get married in princess costumes in parades we’d not be able to afford. our heroes wouldn’t cater to us, we didn’t have the money to invite sleeping beauty to our baby shower. we bought movies where captain america punches nazis only to be told that we shouldn’t fight nazis. batman strings up criminals but a boy found guilty of violent assault gets off with a walk. robin hood refuses to show up, we’re forced to crowdfund cancer survivors as the wealthy get tax cuts. we love superheros, watch all of the x-men movies even though the timeline makes no sense anymore - but they’re not born from our struggles. they’re not coming from our wars.

why are there so few heroes anymore.

The 10 biggest German movies

1. Gays in the desert

Originally posted by fckyeahgermans

2. Gays in space

Originally posted by lunathewarrior

3. Frisian comedian’s own movie - starring himself 

4. Teacher who’s actually a criminal on a class trip

Originally posted by golz24

5. Teacher who’s actually a criminal - the first movie

Originally posted by theelyasblog

6. Movie by the guy nobody likes - starring himself and his daughter (again)

Originally posted by jonny-august

7. Literally a softporn movie about school girls

8. Frisian comedian and his friends as dwarves

9. Guy tricks his mom into believing the GDR still exists (It makes sense in context)

Originally posted by olivesnook

10. Movie starring the guy nobody likes without his daughter

Originally posted by fitear1590