that moment when you realize you will never be that beautiful

“I know he loves her now,” she said, “and I’m only a memory that he tries not to visit too often.” She paused, looking so at peace, but in the saddest way possible. “I guess I just hope that he thinks of me from time to time. When he sees a sunset too beautiful for words, or when our favorite artist releases a new song, or when he passes my street. I just hope that sometimes he remembers what it felt like to be nineteen and so in love that it was almost like your heart might burst. I hope that he smells my old perfume and he can’t shake the picture of me running outside of my house, barefoot, to jump into his arms. I just want our love to still be important, you know? I just… I hope it lingers.”

“It sounds like a beautiful memory,” I told her. “How could he forget?”

She smiled. “Darling, everything fades with time. Even the most vivid of moments — realizing, for the first time, you’re in love, or your first kiss, or even the day it all came crashing down around you — fade as new moments pass. I just hope I was important enough to last a little while longer.”

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #136 // Thinking of you because Ed Sheeran released a new song

And it felt like all the stars in the sky started to breathe within my soul. They stirred the walls I put up to shine brighter and make way for love again. I broke all the rules I set on myself, but i never felt any guilt.

At that moment I knew that, only for you, I am boundless, limitless; an endless space brimming with the beauty of all the shining stars. From the black hole I was forcefully turned into, you made my soul into a shining beam of light, placed me at the center of your universe and there, with you, I was freed from the shackles that was slowly devouring me.

Everything was enchanted, everything was beautiful, everything was bright. You showered me with sparkling light, it seemed like an endless stream ready to live inside my soul. I closed my eyes, basking in the warmth that’s hugging my very existence, and when I opened it I looked at myself and I realized that while receiving all your love…

You made me into the golden sun that shines upon the world.

—  Zurco Armori
morning truths.

‘I hate you, I love you’ Drabble

∘ Original Scenario: I hate you, I love you Pt. | 1 | 2 | + |
Genre: fluff
Word Count: 980

Request: Jungkook saying ‘I love you’ for the first time

The realization hit Jungkook suddenly.

Your days together, which were now laced with more than simple friendship, began to blend together so seamlessly that it felt as if it had always been that way. Going on dates, making breakfast together, never having to say goodbye in the context of going home. It was so domestically beautiful in a way that Jungkook had never known with you, and he regretted every moment of his life that he had not known it.

But it was moments like right now, when Jungkook burned that regret to bask in the beauty of the new air you had given his life. Waking up with hazy eyes, glimpses of your bare back peeking through the gaps of his raven hair. A lazy smile adorning his lips as he began a series of light pecks up the curve of your spine, all the way up to your shoulder blades. His arms pulling you closer into his body before resting his forehead against the center of your back, heavy words resting on the tip of his tongue.

Waking up to you in front of him, either within arm’s reach or with his hands already pressed to your skin. That was Jungkook’s new favorite thing in the entire world. You weren’t a phone call away, or a ten minute drive, you were here with him, and he didn’t know how much he needed that until he saw it for the first time.

It had been about two months since everything between he, you, and Nari had happened. It honestly felt so long ago by now that it almost didn’t seem real, but of course it was. Jungkook could never forget that day when you told him that, not only were you in love with him, but you had been for such an incredibly long time. Something that made his chest cave in with guilt. Even now the thought flooded him with feelings of pain and regret.

But that was in the past. A painful past that he wished he could change, but of course he couldn’t. The only thing he could do now was keep his word from back then. The day he told you he wanted to be with you, he said some things. He was honest with you back then, because you were, and still are his best friend, and you deserved that. So Jungkook knew he had to be truthful and tell you that he didn’t think he loved you like he loved Nari, at least not romantically— at least not all those months ago.

He wanted to make sure the first time he said it, it wasn’t with memories of the relationship he had with Nari staining his mind. He wanted to make sure the words were a hundred percent certain and only for you, because again, you deserved that as the girl that he considered his best friend, and as the girl who had known him for more than half of his life. The feisty girl who ignored him when he was seven. The girl who he saved from embarrassment when he was twelve. The girl who he kissed in that game of spin-the-bottle when he was fifteen. The girl he regrettably hurt in a fit of heartbreak two months ago. And now the girl that he—

“I love you.”

Your back immediately stiffened beneath his touch, and almost instantly you were turning over in his arms, eyes wide with shock. “W-what did you just say?” You asked, voice shaky.

He smiled, reaching up to cup the side of your face. “I said, I love you.”

He watched the way your breath hitched, hand coming up to grip around his wrist as some sort of anchor. Jungkook could feel the rapid hammering of his heart inside of his chest. Nerves in high-affect, almost to the point of it being numbing, but in a good kind of way.

“Like, love, love? Or… You’re my best friend, love?” You asked hesitantly.

“Both,” He whispered simply, pulling you closer so that your foreheads were now resting together. “I love you because you’re my best friend who I can tell anything to. I love you because I can be exactly who I am around you, and I’ve always loved you for those things, because, yeah, you’re my best friend. But now I love you because… I don’t even know,” He laughed, nervously, but you didn’t seem to mind. In fact you were smiling brighter than he’d ever seen from you, and that was saying a lot. “I love you because you’re just… You. You’re the you you’ve always been, and how the hell could I not love that? So yeah, I fucking love you, and I want to be with you, like this, forever.”

You bit your lip, presumably to halt the glossy sheen of tears that began to coat your eyes. Jungkook simply smiled, heart beat slowing now that the words were finally out in the open. He’d been wanting to say them for a while, but it never seemed like the time or place. But when he woke up that morning, with the sight of you within in his reach again, he prayed that he’d always be able to have that, and so the words just felt right.

Jungkook felt the caress of your hands move to frame the sides of his face. Mirrored smiles claiming both of you. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, too,” You whispered, a slight shake in your voice, but the words still managed to wrap their way around Jungkook’s limbs in a flooding surge of pure ecstasy. He pulled your body on top of his own, hands grappling at your waist as you snaked your fingers through his hair, making it a morning filled with whispered, broken, and truthful ‘I love yous.’

The signs as my favorite All The Bright Places quotes

Aries: “The thing I realize is, it’s not what you take, it’s what you leave.”

Taurus: “The problem with people is that they forget that most of the time it’s the small things that count.”

Gemini: “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

Leo: “Sorry wastes time.You have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Cancer: “You need shoving, not pushing. You need to jump back on that camel. Otherwise you’re going to stay up on the ledge you’ve made for yourself.”

Virgo: “Sometimes there’s beauty in tough words-it’s all in how you read them.”

Libra: “I do my best thinking at night when everyone else is sleeping. No interruptions. No noise. I like the feeling of being awake when no one else is.”

Scorpio: “The great thing about this life of ours is that you can be someone different to everybody.”

Sagittarius: “I learned that there is good in this world, if you look hard enough for it. I learned that not everyone is disappointing, including me, and that a 1,257 bump in the ground can feel higher than a bell tower if you’re standing next to the right person.”

Capricorn: “When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don’t seem to matter very much, do they?”

Aquarius: “You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.”

Pisces: “It’s my experience that people are a lot more sympathetic if they can see you hurting, and for the millionth time in my life i wish for measles or smallpox or some other easily understood disease just to make it easier on me and also them.”

when he’s not around at the moment you’ll learn to fall in love with other things around you. the cars swishing by outside your window in the pouring rain. the waves crashing into the shore in a pleasing hard way. all the letters you write to him at midnight that he might or might not read. the pretty old bookstores and small peaceful cafés around the corner. you’ll realize that there is beauty everywhere and there is love wherever you look. there’s love in the strangers laughing as they walk on the sidewalk near the beach. the dog jumping up and down before he is given food. the old lady you’re walking by in the grocery store who’s smiling at you. that little rush you get in your body when you’re running as fast as you can. that first bite from your favorite meal. even if he’s your number one love and he’s everything, you need to step outside sometimes and look at all the other variations of love. even if he is not with you right now, you shouldn’t miss out on all the other love. love everything lovable deeply and unconditionally.
—  t.j. // my number one value in life is love
I don’t think I’d felt much of anything for a long time before you came along. I was like a closed book with nothing written in it… a sleepwalker living in a daydream… a shadow of a person who wasn’t really alive. But you did something to me… you changed something within me… You woke me up. You breathed life into me and taught me to feel. And it was beautiful; Like that moment of rising from deep water when your lungs are about to burst and taking that first gasping breath. It was alarming at first… everything was painful and loud, almost what I imagine being born would feel like. But after a time you tempered me… calmed me… soothed me… And eventually the emotions settled into the pleasant ebb and flow of normal everyday life. But you were like a dam wall keeping my emotions in check and I never realized it until you left and everything exploded and came flooding out. And I guess that’s the problem with teaching someone to feel – they feel everything… And when you left I didn’t know how to cope with those emotions… You taught me a depth of feeling unlike anything I had felt before – but it was a double edged sword because you also showed me the chaos those emotions can cause where they’re left unchecked. And though I am forever changed and will never go back to being as unfeeling as I once was… I would still choose never to trust somebody else with my emotions like that ever again…
—  Ranata Suzuki | You taught me to feel

A doodle and a short piece to go with it:

Rule Number 1: Seokjin Hyung loves flowers.

Don’t fall in love with Seokjin Hyung.

Seokjin Hyung is the type of guy to care for every inch of you at a delicate distance. If he chooses you, you become a bright carnation in his garden, something delicate with red petals that receive the softest touches and just the right amount of water. And just when you want to hold on, he pulls away.

At first you resent it, you wonder why, you want to ask but your cheeks burn and your ego has already taken hit after hit and then it takes a moment but you realize you love him from a different side of the valley, the side with blooming flowers and a gardener that never stays for too long, just enough to keep the field beautiful and full of hope for the sun the next morning.

And that’s who he is, your gardener.

The last thing he wants is romance.

Letting you go was never an easy thing to do. No matter how hard I’ve tried to forget you, I just couldn’t. There were so many times when I was walking alone in the streets, staring at the pavements, I didn’t even realize that the path that I was taking was the one going to your house. When I was a few steps closer, that’s when I stopped. You were there outside, staring at the sky. Probably admiring its beauty, questioning its existence even. You were standing there, waiting for something to happen. I was admiring you from afar when suddenly, she was in the picture. She runs towards you and kissed you. In that moment I was trying so hard not to shed a tear for you but then I saw you holding her neck and you fucking kissed back. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like I’m watching my life being stripped away from me. I couldn’t bare to see it so I started to walk away, taking my way home. And then I found myself stopping by on the pavements while I cry my heart out. It was so difficult to go home. Especially with me being like this. Such a mess, your mess.
The Moment I Fell in Love with You

I fell in love with you so many times. When you were listening to music gazing out the bus window. And when you turned to look at me and our eyes met and we held them for a few long seconds. When you were laughing so hard you rested your head upon my shoulder for a couple seconds. When you told me that I was good enough and that I don’t need to try so hard to be great. When you had more confidence in me than I did. When I noticed the way you looked at me. When you shared your cookie just because I hadn’t gotten one. When I realized that if I am not doing something my thoughts always run to you. When I realized that every time I experience something I wish you were there to see it with me. Those are the moments I fell in love with you. And there are so many more. So many in the future. Because I fall in love with you all over again every day. And I love you in every way. You are perfect to me. And I love you.

There’s a comfort in our love that makes it so much easier for me to be myself, every part of me I never noticed you made me realize. To you my imperfections are perfection because for our moment in this universe we are perfect for and to each other. It’s not easy being in a relationship especially when you both are broken but that was our glory, people lead us right to each other and through all our past heart break we mending those same wounds we thought had broken us. For me to be the image for our future daughter for you to be the guidance for our future son. Love is love how you define it is up to you, but nothing works that you don’t allow yourself to want to work. As much as we wanna believe in fate we have to realize it starts with ourselves. I wanted to love, I wanted to love you and I wanted to be happy 💖 I loved myself enough to love you 10x harder and now we are getting our first apartment together ✨💭🙌🏾 love prevails, I hope once again you all find love you all feel a love so uplifting it betters you, it leads you and you become the image you once hoped to be… happy. @otakutez & @xmarksvintage photographer Instagram @bloodonmynikon

The L Word

The goosebumps, the butterflies, the sighting, and the never ending feeling of flying. The feeling that just happens once in a lifetime. The moment that makes you realize that all the heartbreaks and disappointments you went trough before are actually worth it because you now have something to smile for. That’s what he is to me.

“When did I get so lucky?” I whispered. Watching him sleep filled me with peace and awe. When his forehead was relaxed, his lips were in a half smile, and his mind was somewhere far from the reality we were living.

I pushed his baby hairs back, allowing me to fully admire his beautiful face. His pink cheeks, his long lashes that hide the beauty of his eyes, his soft lips that carry every memory of our nights.

I moved closer to his chest, hiding my face in his neck. His warm and smell that felt like my safe place to land. He instantly moved his arms around me, holding me as close as I could get.

“I should ask the same question” He spoke with his raspy morning voice. His lips moved against my cheek, making me shiver from the slightest touch. “Good morning”

“Hi” I kissed his cheek, trying to hide my blush.

“Hi?” He looked down on me. “You’ve been checking me out for the last half hour, and all I get is a ‘hi’?”

He moved his hands to my face, guiding me to his lips as if I needed help. He moved them slowly against mine. First, gentle and sweet as if he was trying to memorize every part of my lips. Then he proceed to slightly move his tongue against my lips like he was trying a new candy. His tongue made my lips part as if they hadn’t surrendered to him already. With my approval, he deepen the kiss. One of his hands moved from my face to my waist while the other one slightly caressed my butt. My hands where making their way under his shirt, while my tongue entered his mouth. I was getting breathless so to end the kiss, I grabbed his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled softly, earning a moan from him.

“Better?” I smirked against his lips, earning a groan from him.

“Oh, baby” He pecked my lips. “How can you be so perfect?”

“Well, I’m not but thanks” I moved my hand to his cheek. “You are not bad at all. Actually, you are the best at everything”

“I love you” He breathed out. Just like that. His eyes met mine and made my breath hitch. “I love you so much”

“I..” I was speechless. He grabbed my hand and started kissing my knuckles. I moved my hand away to guide his eyes back to me. “Love doesn’t begin to cover what I feel for you”

A smile started growing in his face, making every physical feature stand out even more. His lovely dimples, the shape of his eyes.

“There isn’t a word that can describe how I feel every time I look at you” I kissed his jaw, then his lips again. “For the first time in my life, I know how it feels like to love someone so much that it consumes me. You make everything feel so right and so easy. With you I feel like I have a place where I can fit in and be safe. So I won’t say I love you because that word is not enough”

He moved his hands to push my hair away from my face, kissing my temple.

“And here I was thinking I was being romantic by saying 'I love you’ first” He chuckled, making me blush. “The disadvantages of dating a writer”

“You don’t have to say anything, just by the way you look at me, I know” I kissed his lips once more. This kiss was more intense, more selfish. I want him just to me.

“It’s a good thing I never stop looking at you”


It’s been a while since my last imagine and I was feeling fluffly and stuff so I made this! I didn’t put a guy so that everyone can read it with whoever guy they want. I was thinking of my muffin boy, Shawn, because I’ve been feeling so fjdjksf with him lately so yeah… Hope you love it❤️ and feel free to tell me what do you think.

Recently, I pondered Jackie’s dialogue in “Celebration Day” (525) about Hyde vs. Kelso, and I realized what she actually means by it (maybe a *facepalm* moment for me). Here’s the dialogue:

Jackie: I know I love Steven because he’s smart, and he’s deep, and when we have conversations he makes me think … which used to give me a headache, but now I really like.

Jackie: But Michael? Oh, Michael is so beautiful, and you spend a lot more time looking at someone than you do talking to them.

Jackie: I know in a lot of ways I need Steven, but Michael needs me. And it’s nice to be needed.

I used to think Jackie was weighing her love for Hyde against her love for Kelso in this scene, which would be absolutely nuts. See this comic for why. But she never says she loves Kelso in this scene. She’s trying to justify to herself why she shouldn’t forgive Hyde. She’s more weighing who she is with Hyde against who she is with Kelso.

In the last part of her dialogue, we learn she doesn’t feel needed by Hyde, that she’s afraid she could be just “anyone” to him. But Kelso’s possessiveness of her, despite his inability to be monogamous, makes her feel like he wants her specifically.

Hyde gives Jackie up “easily” twice when he thinks she’s using him or cheating on him. Kelso, on the other hand, pursues Jackie to the point of obsession after she breaks up with him in season 2 and in season 5 when she’s dating Hyde. The fact Hyde can seemingly walk away from her causes Jackie great insecurity. But she doesn’t see how depressed he is in “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You” (514) and “Nobody’s Fault but Mine” over losing her. She also doesn’t understand how wounded he is from being constantly and utterly abandoned by his parents. His philosophy is: leave before I get left.

By season seven, though, I think she understands the above, as evidenced in the following scene from “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” (703):

Hyde [to Kitty and Jackie about calling W.B.]: Why cant you guys just let me do things my own way?

Jackie: Because I know meeting your dad meant a lot to you

Kitty: And every time something means a lot to you, you push it away before it can push you away

Jackie [to Hyde]: And every time something means a lot to me, I smother it, which is why we’re such a good couple.

Does anyone realize how much effort is used just to get to the lions?

Okay, this doesn’t look that hard, but I recently got a zipline, and holding on to the handles can get really hard.

Another thing, we installed a braking system to keep you from hitting the tree. It’s not so hard on the swing, but it jerks your arm really hard when using the handles. Like, the one time I held on long enough to hit the brakes, I let go. Charlie brown moment, flat on my back, everybody laughed. thanks for the support, fam.

Now I let go before I hit the brakes, which is kind of what they do. They let go and slide neatly into the hole. Heh, heh, heh. You let go of a zipline, you hit the ground, and you run to absorb the shock. the beautiful landing that they have is a miracle in and of itself.

This is how most of us would get to the lions, to be honest. 

anonymous asked:

New interview with Julie, she said that she had to cut the SC scene from the finale where they called each other Mr & Mrs Salvatore (there's a God, Steph) and also she said that Joseph was not available to film. www*accesshollywood*com/articles/vampire-diaries-series-finale-preview-ep-julie-plec-hints-whats-come-mystic-falls-gang/

They cut a SC scene: “There was 1 scene in the first act when everybody’s running around realizing that they’re all doomed, where Stefan & Caroline have a very sweet moment about, ‘I guess this our wedding night.’ & she says, 'I love you Mr. Salvatore,’ & he says, 'I love you, Mrs. Forbes-hyphen-Salvatore.’ &, she’s so thrilled because they had never talked about her name change. & he says, 'I know who I married.’ & it’s such a cute beautiful little scene & we were nine minutes over

Someone went to hell and back to made sure no one ever had to endure this scene. Whoever died for our sins, I thank you.

ten; jealousy

request: Can you write a ten angst where he gets jealous because some other guy flirts with you

You were laying on your bed in your gloomy bedroom. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the falling water from the shower. You silently started to sob, moving your hand over your forehead to push away pieces of hair, fallen over your eyes. You and your boyfriend Ten decided to go on a date. Everything was fine.. until your ex-boyfriend suddenly appeared. It all started with one simple question- ‘how are you?’ . You answered because you didn’t want to be rude, ignoring him. Both of you continued to talk about different things and you didn’t even realize that you were actually ignoring your own boyfriend. But when your ex called you ‘beautiful’, Ten couldn’t take it anymore.

He was never jealous. The moment you saw him standing up from his place you instantly felt guilty. Murmuring ‘I’ll wait for you in the car’, he left the restaurant without looking at you once. Of course, you followed him, apologizing to the other boy, who was standing there visibly surprised by Ten’s behavior. Since then, Ten completely ignored you. You weren’t afraid, he wouldn’t hurt a fly…

“Why are you crying?”

You were too busy thinking about earlier and you didn’t notice the bathroom door open, nor your boyfriend walking out. His voice was raspy and held no emotion.

You wiped away your tears, but didn’t answer, not trusting your own voice. Feeling him sit on the edge of the bed, you could only wonder what he was thinking about.

Minutes passed before you felt him taking his place on the other half of the bed. He was still quietly listening to your whimpers and that’s what made you cry even harder.


You wanted to yell at him, but you knew you had no right to.

“Why?” Ten asked as he sighed “Why did you hurt me?”

“I did nothing wrong!” you cried, placing your hands over your eyes, trying to stop the tears. “He just wanted to say ‘hi’ nothing more!”

“He was flirting with you. And you were enjoying the attention he was giving you. It all happened before my eyes. How do you think I felt?”

He was right. You wouldn’t be happy if it was him and his ex-girlfriend.

“Stop crying.” he whispered and you could sense him moving closer to you. Soon his hands were placed around your body. You were in his warm embrace, one hand holding you tight to him, the other patting the back of your head gently. It made you cry even harder as his breath tickled the sensitive spot on your neck. He wasn’t mad at you, it wasn’t his intention to make you cry. He had no idea you would react like that. Ten was taken aback when he got out from the shower.

“Stop crying, y/n..” the boy repeated as he continued to play with your hair slowly. He leaned down to kiss your eyelids, tasting the salty tears. “I hate seeing you cry.”

“I’m sor-“

“Shh.” He interrupted you and pulled the soft blanket over your fragile body. “Sleep now. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You could say you were peacefully falling asleep as soon as your crying had stopped. You two needed to talk about the misunderstanding. But at that moment you both weren’t in condition to think straight.

“Tomorrow.” You repeated his words as you snuggled up to him.

I Hope..

I Hope

I hope that one day all this pain fades away
I hope one day you realize how much I loved you
I hope one day you find someone who’s enough
I hope one day you find happiness and peace
I hope you never realize why my words seem so “perfect” when I comfort you over things
I hope you never look in my eyes and see the pain deep within me
If you ever do see, I hope you understand why I hold my head high and continue to smile
I hope you slow down and enjoy your moments of bliss
I hope you never forget your first and best kiss
I hope you understand why I try so hard to continue to have an open heart
I hope you understand that is all just the start
I hope you can see what I see, God you’re so beautiful
I hope you can understand why I dared you… To be you….

-King-JSmoove (Julian Bell)

  • Don’t let his stage persona fool you, he is super innocent
  • (Who doesn’t remember his answer of “never had any” when he was asked his sex?)
  • When he realized he liked you, it wouldn’t take long before he would ask you out
  • You’d see his signature rectangular smile when you say yes

Originally posted by holdmettightbts

(look at this pure creature.. my heart cant take this)

  • He’s always hugging you and trying to cuddle
  • He can be super clingy
  • But like a good clingy
  • He’s just so happy to be near you that he doesn’t want to let you go

Originally posted by true-pairingskpop

  • Smiles at you randomly and tells you how cute/beautiful you are
  • He’d laugh when your cheeks turn bright red
  • There is never a dull moment 
  • Moments filled with laughter and smiles
  • He’s always acting in ways that he knows will make you smile

Originally posted by averageoppa

  • Even Hobi said that this boy uses aegyo in everyday life
  • Him smiling in victory when you giggle at how cute he is

Originally posted by jinkooks

  • Random 3am texts
  • Whenever you’re out with him be prepared for a lot of delays
  • Mostly because he’ll get distracted by large dogs and children
  • You’ll turn around and he’ll be gone because he spotted a dog across the park

Originally posted by yoongiwara


  • He’s super protective of you
  • If you fell he’d panic
  • But you’d just laugh it off and assure him that you’re fine
  • Lots of dates where you just stay in
  • Playing lots of video games, watching movies, and having dance parties

Originally posted by cyphermon

A relationship with Taehyung would be filled with so much laughter. He’s thrilled whenever he’s able to make you laugh. Whether it’s by acting strange or from sending you silly photos of him and the boys. He’s always trying to take care of you and making sure that you’re happy

Originally posted by jongkuks


I hope you enjoyed this! Remember that our requests are open! Don’t be shy!

~Admin Tay

confessional. 03.27.2016

i. My professor said the term ‘beautiful sadness’ at least 3 times in class today. I wanted to ask him if he’s ever thought the sound of someone you love whispering their desire to die was something gorgeous.

ii. I like the way my body looks in your post-midnight memories, where time never goes later than 5 am and my sheets are still white.

iii. The skyscrapers know that I’m a liar. They hear me listening to Cocaine Blues on the train and watch me mismatch my socks. I don’t speak any french. I eat with my hands. I will always be the place that I came from.

iv. At any given moment I can guarantee I am aware of the fact that I do not look like her.

v. I picture myself as the polaroid between your poetry.

vi: I realized you only ever called me beautiful when you were 15 minutes away.

vii: I woke up tangled in your drunken errors. I tried to hold your hand but you kept disappearing.

viii: On Monday I sleep naked just to feel my hair down my back. By Thursday I fantasize about the kitchen scissors sawing my curls to the ground.

ix: I have apologized to boys with my ass in their hands. I feel guilty for being an excuse for the woman they would rather be holding.

x: My body keeps leaving me voicemails telling me it is tired of feeling weak. It’s been a few months and I haven’t called back.

It was past midnight and we sat in the dark with puffs of smoke rising in and out of our mouths. I was consumed in admiring the stars and how they looked so lively and how the nightly colors kissed one another deeply with passion. I closed my eyes for a few moments, to take it all in. I felt you wrap your hand around mine, tingles shot up my fingers. Just when I was about to grip back, my fingers found themselves to be curled against my palm. I glanced sideways and realized that you were gone. The tingles in my hand were not because of you, but because my hand had become numb. And suddenly the sky wasn’t beautiful anymore, because all the stars were gone.
—  You were the stars in the night sky