that moment right there is 8 years old

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Nicknames: Madds, Nerd, Maddie. 
Star sign: Sagittarius
Height: 5′3″
Time right now: 8:53 pm
Last thing you googled: ‘gothic unrequited love art’ I was working on a task for Gothicism and Romanticism in English.
Fave music artist: At the moment it’s Mayday Parade, but it changes all the time. 

Last movie I watched: Rock Of Ages 
Last TV show I watched: Hetalia Axis Powers, just started it and I’m not sure how I feel about it. 
What I’m wearing right now: Really old yellow Taylor Swift tee from my 10 year old days, fluffy boxers. 
When I created this blog: Almost two years ago
Do I do asks regularly: Yes
Why did I choose my URL: a small and avenging lover of books. The sasuke of bookworms.
Gender: Female
Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff
Patronus: Fox
Pokemon team: Mystic
Favorite color: Blue
Lucky number: 29
Favorite characters: 

- Jellal Fernandes, Natsu Dragneel & Erza Scarlett(Fairy Tail)

- Ciel Phantomhive (Black Butler)

- Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto)

- Otani Atsushi (Lovely Complex)

- Howl (Howl’s Moving Castle) 

- Yato (Noragami)

Number of blankets I sleep with: 1

Followers: 300 exactly, thanks beautiful people.  

Tagging: @devilish-missy @dokidoki-love @doginshoe @hoshipisces @eva-blog-p @plisetsky-is-mine @elybugg and @thetolthatfeelssmol

if you feel like crying, think about these lyrics in this order

1. “I knew you’d fight until the war was won, but you deserve a chance to meet your son.”

2. “When you smile, I fall apart. And I thought I was so smart.”

3. “My father wasn’t around. I swear that I’ll be around for you.”

4. “Your son is nine years old today. He has something he’s like to say, he’s been practicing all day.”

5. “Hey, our kid is pretty great.”

6. “I am ruined, I am helpless. How could I do this?”

7. “In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet. For just a moment.”

8. “You forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the place in our bed.”

9. “Philip, your mother can’t take another heartbreak.”

10. “Alexander, did you know?”

11. “Un, deux, trois…”

12. “It’s quiet uptown. I never liked the quiet before.”

13. “Philip, you would like it uptown, it’s quiet uptown.”

14. “If I could spare his life, if I could trade his life for mine, he’d be standing here right now, and you would smile, and that would be enough.”

15. “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There’s a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand. We push away the unimaginable.”

Charles is Bethany, Cece is A:

Okay so I’ve held off for a while on writing my own theory about Charles being transgender, mostly because I couldn’t fit the pieces together and wanted to make sure that I was being respectful, so here are my thoughts finally after the answers from this episode.

As a child, Charles never felt comfortable in his own skin. Deep down, even when he was very young, he knew that he didn’t feel right as a boy. In Welcome to the Dollhouse we found out that Jason is around 7 years older than Ali, and Charles is just over a year older than Jason, so 8 years older. Therefore he tried to kill Ali when she was 1 and he was around 9 years old, certainly old enough to be at least semi-aware of his feelings, even if he couldn’t identify things perfectly at the time. 

He resented her from the moment she was born because she was free to grow up as a girl and be treated as a girl, while he felt trapped in a body that wasn’t right for him.

After this attempt, he was institutionalized. Mr. D clearly thought he was a nuisance and a danger and probably didn’t visit or care much for his son. Mrs. D chose for the family to move to Rosewood and got a position on the board so she could be close to her son. 

Charles grew up in Radley, and at some point confided in his mother about his true feelings as he came to terms with them. At that time, he was 16 years old and Ali was 7. 

This brings us to the flashback Ali had in the Christmas episode, when she looked to be around 7. She found two yellow dresses. I think that Mrs. D was planning on bringing the second yellow dress to Charles. Not for him to wear, he was obviously too old for that, but as a way of telling him the good news that she would be helping him get a surgery to change his gender, showing him that he could be like Ali after all. She made sure Ali wouldn’t tell Mr. D about the dress, because he would never understand what she was doing. That’s when she and Charles faked his death.

She took him out of Radley and made him promise to never reveal himself to anyone ever. She took him to Aunt Carol’s house after the surgery (maybe she knew the truth since she was visiting him too). Once he became a female, they made a grave for Charles DiLaurentis, his old identity, and he changed his name to Bethany Young. He was still very troubled so she brought Charles (now Bethany) back to Radley.

That’s why Mrs. D made the effort to bond with Bethany and take her out places. She told Bethany to call her Aunt Jessie at the stables, which angered Bethany because she knew that Mrs. D was her mother. Mrs. D covered for Marion’s murder because Bethany did it, and if it went to the cops that it was a murder, they would investigate Bethany and the truth about Charles would come out. So she paid Wilden to fake the report and make it a suicide. 

The night of Ali’s disappearance:
Bethany/Charles escaped from Radley and was lured in the yellow top to Ali’s back yard. Mrs. D was called and notified because it was her son/daughter, and she was concerned because Bethany as Charles had tried to kill Ali before and still resented her for living the free and happy life that Bethany should have had too. Bethany was murdered and buried in Ali’s place, and most likely the liars did something to result in her death that they repressed due to the drugs Ali gave them, which is why A is targeting them.

So who is A if Charles/Bethany is dead?

Cece Drake. In the promo for 6x05, we find out that a female character was in Radley as a child and knew Charles. I think it’s Cece. She was institutionalized when she was younger and fell in love with Charles, not knowing about the fact that he was transgendered. Despite being told not to tell anyone, Bethany told Cece the truth because of how close they were. Cece continued to visit her, and was in Ali’s back yard that night to look out for her. She still mourned the loss of the Charles DiLaurentis that she once loved, so after the gender change, Cece changed her name from whatever it once was to Cece Drake, giving herself Charles’ initials. 

Now she is acting as A to get revenge on Ali and the liars for Charles’ murder. 

For those of you who insist that Marlene said that Charles is A, she may be twisting the truth. Cece, in a way, has taken on Charles’ name. She believes that she is doing this for or as Charles, and therefore in a way he is A.


Go Atlas! Go O-Rex! Go REXIS!

On Thursday Sept 8, right on the dot, an Atlas V launched from Kennedy Space Center carrying my latest NASA project to space and sending it on its 7 year mission to the near earth asteroid Bennu!

I was lucky enough to spend the launch surrounded by old friends and new; team members I’ve never seen in person and team members who I spent waaaaay too much time with at one point or another (hahaha). It was an incredibly fulfilling and exciting moment for me, to see something I slaved over the designing of 5+ years ago actually make it to launch in an almost identical formfactor to what we originally designed.

Over the last 5 years, over 60 MIT and Harvard students have had the privilege to work on this project. A project that has had a scope larger than any NASA student project to date!  Led by an incredible female PM who has been both a mentor and a friend to me all these years; who almost singlehandedly kept our distractible engineering minds on the necessary tasks day in and day out; and who has proved insightful and brilliant engineering guidance from day one. It’s been an absolute delight to work with her and an amazing learning experience to watch her in action.

I’m so happy my little instrument-that-could is now 10 days into its grand adventure among the stars!  My first “interplanetary” spacecraft! Boldly going.

August 28th

Today is August 28th. 153 years ago today, on August 28th 1833, slavery was abolished in most of the British Empire.

29 years later, on August 28th 1862, the Second Battle of Bull Ran began in the American Civil War. Over the next three days, more than 17,000 people would be killed or wounded. The Union loss in this battle helped convince the American government that emancipating slaves was a military necessity. (Let’s not labor under the delusion that the South was racist and the North wasn’t. Both were racist.)

93 years later, on August 28th 1955, a 14-year-old black boy named Emmett Till was murdered for the crime of speaking to a white woman.

8 years later, on August 28th 1963, hundreds of thousands of Civil Rights activists marched on Washington and Martin Luther King delivered his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.

August 28th is an unusual date only in that so many widely known moments in history occurred. The truth is, as writers from Ta-Nehisi Coates to Sonia Sanchez have pointed out, the history of race in America is the history of post-Columbus America. Race is not a sidebar or a footnote, and when we treat it as such, we further marginalize people who have been structurally marginalized since the moment Europeans arrived in the Americas.

  • BDSEMMA: As women we're not taught how to approach someone we're interested in. We're also not taught how to say we're not interested, instead we deflect and hope that they get the hint...
  • Va-J-J: Yup. Like "How many eye contacts until sex?" or the other classic "I'll just stare at you from across the room and hope you make the first move."
  • BDSEMMA: I'm surprised any of us ever gets laid.
  • Va-J-J: Right? Lesbians are like a perpetual grade 8 dance.
  • BDSEMMA: And then we jump to 19 year old trashed college students the moment we start making out.
  • Va-J-J: Cry like babies, get angry like 16 year olds, and then once we're over it act like we're sophisticated 40 year olds wise beyond our years. "Next time I'll see it coming a mile away."
  • BDSEMMA: Except then you fall for a straight girl and all bets are off...
  • Va-J-J: And once again you are in grade 8.

People, I can’t xD I DIED. I just read THIS anti Marrish/Stalia post made by @antimarrish I can’t respond under it, because I’m blocked, but I HAVE to comment, because it shows idiocy of the fanatic haters xD

The beauties of that post:

  • She said Malia was mentally 8 in that scene. She just admitted that 8 year old had a sex with a TEENAGER Stiles, what makes STILES a classic example of a PEDOPHILE :) :) :)
  • Malia raped him, because she knew he was possessed… WAIT! She didn’t! Did he act like a drugged person in that scene? No? Thought so. He was conscious and fully aware of his state.  Friendly reminder that she probably was drugged too. And in which moment exactly he was possessed and didn’t act like Stiles in that scene? I just wonder. 
  • Right he is dead, but surprisingly he breaths, eats and drinks and bleeds so his blood circulates in his veins. So he is well and alive, but whatever, I guess this fanatic’s biology knowledge  = 0.
  • But hey, this gets better. Lol, so the hellhound DREAMS about kissing Lydia, Jordan is dead after all? That person said “The “demonic immortal hellhound WHO constantly hallucinates kissing her and fucking her” So, why that pumpkin hater hates on Jordan, huh? She should hate on the hellhound, not on the DEAD GUY xD Besides, if Jordan is dead, then there is no Jordan, so there is no Marrish, so her shitty arguments are shitty and have no sense :D
  • Friendly reminder that he has NEVER “fucked her” in his visions. I don’t know what show that sweetheart watches, but she should check if it’s Teen Wolf or Teen Wolf Porn or something.
  • And now goes the best. Yeah, because that scene in Lydia’s house was perfectly FINE. HE did nothing bad, like checking her phone without her agreement and her knowledge. Because it’s not abusing. Not at all :) :) And he stopped only when she said her boyfriend’s name. Of course he would do nothing.

It’s beautiful when a hater shits on other ship but doesn’t see that her beloved character is a shitty too :) This is an example of a person who blindly hate on something, makes a bullshit arguments and throws everything to one post. And doesn’t realize the arguments are contradicting themselves and don’t make a fucking sense. 

Congrats for @antimarrish, who is the perfect example of a delusional hypocrite. Good for her!

Sehun hasn’t been having the best week, one could say. Of course, dance practice and the performances for their new debut have been perfect–but his mind just isn’t in the right place. He is constantly replaying the moment that his father died over and over, wondering what he could have done. Any person who had a functioning mind would understand that a car crash caused by a drunk driver wasn’t an 8 year old’s fault, but Sehun just couldn’t think like that. He blamed himself for everything. So here he was, legs curled up to his chest in Xenon’s apartment, waiting for him to get home. Xe had been there for him when no one else was, and they were the best of friends. Sehun’s eyes began to tear up, the saline liquid falling onto his face as it stung his cheeks. “A-appa, mian.”