that might say something

quick update

you may have noticed that i haven’t been active on this blog at all for about 3 weeks? so i’m sorry if anyone’s messaged me or sent me anons requesting things that i haven’t responded to. i just thought i should say that i’ve been taking a break recently and i don’t know how long i’ll be gone and when i’ll come back to this blog but for now i hope everyone’s doing alright and i’m so excited for louis’ new song !!!!!!

2

infodumping about the ocean

Even if you called 6 months later at 3 am, I’d still answer; I’ll always care.
—  Unknown
why you should stan namjoon: his ability to manipulate and play around with the korean language

A little while ago, I asked a question about whether Korean music sounds like gibberish to non-Korean speaking listeners. Majority of those who answered said yes and for the most part, many just try to recognize certain phrases or the overall gist of the song when you are listening to it. Now this sort of got to me because as a bts fan, the members play around with words in their songs and they honestly have some of the most poetic/complex lyrics in the industry and it’s really interesting for me, a Korean-American, to be able to hear and distinguish that. But for non-Korean speakers, you guys can’t really do the same. An awesome example of this is Namjoon because well- he is just a genius, a modern-day poet. So, I’m going to try my best to try to point some of the word play in his lyrics out because I think you guys would find it just as interesting as I do!

1)  흥탄소년단/Fun Boyz

저 위 정상들이 보이지
일상에 상을 하나 더해 난 이상해지지
정상인 상태로는 정상에 못 가요 baby

trans:  “You see the peak over there, right? Add one more prize to my daily life, I’ll get weird. You can’t reach the top by being normal baby”

In this verse, Namjoon uses the word “정상” which can mean two different things depending on whether you use it as an adjective or a noun. As a noun, it means “the peak” (like the highest point of something). But as an adjective, it means “normal”. In the first line, he uses it as a noun- asking a question if you can see it. But in the third line, he uses the word in both ways. If I were to translate the last line stiffly it would be something like: “in a normal state you can’t reach the peak”

In the second line, he also does another word play.  일상 is a noun that means “daily life” while 이상 is an adjective that means “weird” or “abnormal”. However, he also makes a math pun in the line. The first syllable of  일상 is  일 which is the number 1 and the first syllable of  이상 is  이 which is the number 2. So literally, if you “add one more” to  일상 you get  이상. Add “one more” to daily life, you get weird.

Also! Note the repetition of the syllable “상” (sahng) through out his verse!

2) 고엽/ Dead Leaves

모든 낙엽은 떨어지듯이
영원할 듯하던 모든 건 멀어지듯이
너는 나의 다섯 번째 계절
널 보려 해도 볼 수 없잖아
봐 넌 아직 내겐 푸른색이야
마음은 걷지 않아도 저절로 걸어지네
미련이 빨래처럼 조각조각 널어지네
붉은 추억들만 더러운 내 위에 덜어지네
내 가지를 떨지 않아도 자꾸만 떨어지네
그래 내 사랑은 오르기 위해 떨어지네
가까이 있어도 나의 두 눈은 멀어지네
벌어지네 이렇게 버려지네
추억 속에서 난 또 어려지네

trans:  “As if every autumn leaf has fallen, as if everything that seemed to last forever is falling away, you’re my fifth season. Even if I try to see you, I can’t. Look, you’re still blue to me. Even if our hearts do not walk, they walk instinctively. Our lingering affections, like laundry, hang piece by piece. Only the crimson memories fall above my dirty self. Even if I do not shake my branch, it keeps on falling. Sure, for my love to ascend- it falls. Even if I’m near by, my two eyes grow further- they’re falling away. Like this, I’m being thrown away. I become young again inside my memories.”

Not only is his entire verse extremely poetic with his usage of analogies and personification and overall language but another thing that you have to make notice of is the fact that he raps in alphabetical order.

From the line 마음은 걷지 않아도 저절로 걸어지네 down, the verbs at the end of the lines follow alphabetical order.

The part of the Korean alphabet he uses is (from left to right) ㄱㄴㄷㄹㅁㅂㅅㅇ. Order-wise, and not by actual sound, its equivalent to the English alphabet would be abcdefgh.

Now pay attention to the first consonant of the first syllable of the last word of each line.

걸 어지네 , 널 어지네 , 덜 어지네 , 떨 어지네 ,떨 어지네 , 어지네 , 버 려지네 ,어 려지네

ㄱ,ㄴ,ㄷ,ㄸ*,ㄸ,ㅁ,ㅂ,ㅇ

a,b,c,cc*,cc,e,f,h

*ㄸ is a double consonant, meaning that it’s the stronger sound of ㄷ. In some alphabets, the double consonants come after its single consonant- meaning that Namjoon was still technically following Korean alphabetical order

One more thing to note is his repetition of the verb ending “-네”. This is typically used when the speaker is just taking notice of something and it implies that they have been taken aback by whatever has happened. For example, if you haven’t seen somebody in a long time, you might say something like “You’ve gotten prettier/more handsome”. In Korean, you would use the verb ending “네” for this situation and say something along the lines of “__ 예뻐졌네” or “__ 더잘생겨졌네”

So similarly, in this verse, it’s as if Namjoon is first discovering that hearts will walk instinctively, that his lingering affections hang piece by piece, that his love must fall in order to ascend, that he is becoming young inside his memories, and so on and so forth. It’s slight, but it adds a new level of depth to how you interpret his lyrics.

3) Always

난 세상을 이해하기 위해 사는데
세상은 날 이해한 적이 없어 왜
아니 딱 절반이 모자라
날 해하려 하잖아

trans: “I live to understand the world, but the world has never understood me- why? No, precisely one half is missing. It’s trying to hurt me.”

In this verse, Namjoon uses the verb 이해 which means “to understand”. When he says “precisely one half is missing”, he literally meant one half of 이해 which is 해. The verb 해하다 means “to hurt/injure” which is why he’s saying that “it’s (the world) is trying to hurt me.”  The world lacks one half of understanding him, which is why it’s trying to harm him.

Again, another thing I’d like to talk about is how he says 날 해하려 하잖아. Typically, the verb ending “하잖아” is used when you want the person/people you’re addressing to take notice of something. So, for example, if you’re craving something when you just ate- typically your friend would say something like “but we just ate!” And if you’re talking in Korean, it would be here that your friend would use the verb ending 하잖아 and use the phrase “방금 먹었잖아!” (you just ate!)

By saying 날 해하려 하잖아, it’s as if Namjoon is asking us to see that the world is trying to hurt him, it’s as if he’s implying “can’t you see this?” So it adds a whole entire new spectrum of emotion to his lyrics and I just wanted you guys to clearly hear the song the way he wrote it.

ah_michaeljones: 

“Gather round, for Michael has a story to tell you. 

Recently, I once again found myself in an interesting position. An opportunity for me to try something new (career wise) presented itself and I had to ponder whether or not I would do it. I weighed the options, the pros and cons, the best and worst case scenarios. I decided that I would probably not perform well and instead of potentially embarrassing myself in a field that is more or less unknown to me, I passed on the opportunity. You would think that would be the end of it but it wasn’t. For some reason I couldn’t shake this odd feeling. Like I had done something wrong. Now many of you might say “Michael that’s crazy! You don’t care about anything!” Oh how wrong you are. It’s true I’ve become quite comfortable in front of the camera at Roosterteeth but this doesn’t apply to all walks of life. In these past few days, thinking of this offer I declined because I KNEW I would be no good, it reminded me of another time I thought that. In 2014 I had the amazing opportunity to audition for a role in the Funimation dub of Fairy Tail. This was a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to voice act ever since I was a kid. I printed out my lines and practiced for days and days but when the day of the audition finally came, I backed out. I told Lindsay that I wasn’t good enough and that I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of these professionals who I had never met. She refused to let me. More or less forcing me into the car, she drove me 3 ½ hours to Dallas for the audition I KNEW I would fail. Well as you may know, I did go, I did audition, and I got the part. All because my wife believed in me when I didn’t. Pondering this, and where I’ve gotten so far in life by taking chances on the unknown, I changed my mind about this future opportunity. I won’t refuse to try. I won’t rely on someone else to push me to fulfill my dreams. I won’t stop taking chances. My point is this. Maybe I will fuck it up and make a total fool of myself, but maybe I won’t. Maybe it’ll be one of the greatest experiences of my life that I might never get a second chance at. Who knows? I won’t let the unknown stop me. Neither should you.”

Still Alive

I’m sure many of you are wondering where I’ve been these past few months. I’m afraid there isn’t an easy answer to that. Not one I can explain easily. My health has worsened once again. I’ve had to deal with kidney stone surgery and stomach issues along with a deepening depression and an increase of severity of my chronic fatigue. It has been a struggle to get through every day and I guess tumblr just didn’t seem like it mattered much anymore.

I lost touch with close friends and I stopped talking to my parents very much. I went into a shell and honestly I’m still not sure how to get out of it. I’m having a brief moment of clarity so I thought I should say something because I think some people might be a little worried about me.

Right now I am resting comfortably and keeping myself occupied with cartoons and other various shows. I try my best not to think about my predicament because as of yet, a solution has not presented itself. I’ve tried all of the depression medications. I’ve looked into new treatments. I just haven’t found anything that has any promise. For the time being I an stuck like this.
I probably won’t be around much. It’s really hard to even write this. But I’ll try to write a little more frequently if I can.

As it stands, right now I am focused on getting rid of my last kidney stone. Apparently there is a procedure that blasts it with sound waves and breaks it up into tiny particles. They put you under for that, but you get to go home the same day. I will be doing this in the next week or so. Hopefully it will make me feel a little better, but I can’t say for sure.

Chris and I are still putting out the monthly Patreon comics. I hope you still enjoy them.

I am going to get back to resting and trying to occupy my mind. I hope you all are well and I appreciate you always sticking with me, even if I disappear for a while.

Be kind to people.
Don’t say hurtful things. Be it anyone.
Compliment them.
Say how good they look.
They might be going through something, it will take their mind off it.
Make someone happy today.
Be generous.
Take a walk.
Eat an ice-cream.
Click a picture.
Play with a dog.
Buy someone groceries.
Surprise your loved ones.
Write in a paper how you feel. Just write anything.
Read a book, be it any.
Listen to good music and look at the stars at night.
Just live everyday. Sad or happy.
Just live it. Look around you and take it all in.
You are beautiful.
You are alive.
And that’s the greatest gift you have.
—  Make a change - theinvinciblewritings

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

anonymous asked:

Complete this conservation: "Wait.. you gave him a mixtape? Dude, you’re a dinosaur.”

“Wait.. you gave him a mixtape? Dude, you’re a dinosaur!” Dean grimaces as Claire’s laughter titters through the phone. Every time he thinks he and her might be on the same level, she says or does something to make the age difference between them 100 times more evident.

“Where did you even find cassettes?” Claire asks incredulously. “Did someone leave a Delorean around or something?”

“Shut up.” Dean grumbles, no heat in his voice. He wedges the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he attempts to remove the Impala’s serpentine belt. “Amazon sells ‘em. They’re not antiques.

“Close enough,” Claire snorts. “I bet you had to hold the tape recorder up to the radio too.” Dean’s frown deepens because, yes, that is exactly what he did. He huffs into the phone as he slips the belt over the alternator and tightens the bolt. 

“Enough about me,” Dean sighs. “How’s school?”

“Doesn’t start for four months. Don’t change the subject,” she says. “I think it’s sweet actually.”

“Sweet?” Dean’s hand freezes mid-turn of the screwdriver. 

“Yeah, it’s really sweet for you to make Castiel a mixtape and put all that effort,” she says. “Romantic, too.” Dean feels his ears heat at the word. 

“It’s… It’s not… We’re…”

“Riiight,” Claire drawls out sarcastically. “You should totally make him another one and play it while holding a boombox over your head.”

“Claire-”

“Like in ‘Say Anything.’“

“Claire, it’s not-”

“’Cause, y’know… you’re in loooove with him.” Dean can’t stop the shy smile from crossing his face.

“Goodbye, Claire,” he mumbles.

“… and he loves you, too!” Claire shouts as Dean hits the end call button. 

Thanks Again for Participating in the Fresh_Hell/Fatal Fools Event!

It is, unfortunately (or fortunately) over. All radical things must come to an end, my dude. For those who missed it or missed part of it, or just want to relive the nightmare fun all over again, the first official post of the event was THIS ONE. I added a ‘next’ button to each post to take you through the event, all the way through to the end. Once I get the chance, I’ll add this entire event to the Story Archive page.

I’m really glad so many folks got a kick out of it! I actually wasn’t planning on releasing the YOLO.exe comic just yet but then I thought of this silly idea and the timing was right and I just thought it was way too entertainingly dumb to not go for it XD And I’m glad I did! I didn’t get to do all that I wanted to do, but it turned out so much better than I had planned :D

AND A REALLY REALLY BIG THANK YOU GOES TO ALL OF YA’LL WHO SENT IN MESSAGES THROUGHOUT THE EVENT!

I didn’t get to answer anywhere near as many as I wanted to, but I read them all and thought they were amazing, hilarious, and sweet XD Thanks for all of your great questions and support. You’re all so awesome <3

Also, running an ask blog (even for a few measly hours) is HARD WORK. OH MY GOSH. If you follow any ask blogs go tell them thank you and that you appreciate what they do. Draw them a picture or something. They deserve it.


Lastly, let me just clear up a few things about what was part of the joke and what wasn’t:

* YOLO.exe is a real side comic (still non-canon) that will be completed

* I’m not going on a mini-hiatus because of computer issues (of all things this was the thing I was most nervous joking about XD). Chapter Three isn’t ready yet and I’m still planning, but no hiatus for me right now

* Fatal_Error’s fine, he just needs to walk it off, or…something…probably?

* Dunno where Fresh is? Not here probably. Also Fresh_Hell isn’t available for questions :)


Okay I think that’s all!

Peace out, brahs <3 BD

anonymous asked:

why is arin literally the greatest human being on earth????

Someone else has pretty much covered the bases of this question, but I agree! He’s one of the most genuinely nice dudes on earth!

A small passion project he started, with a friend who isn’t even involved in its production anymore, has flourished into not one, but several separate businesses (Game Grumps, Starbomb, Ninja Sex Party, Gameoverse, etc.). Because he wanted to help his friends fulfill their own dreams and aspirations. So he used his own success to give them the push that they needed and has always supported them in their endeavors.

He offered to give his best friend a crazy loan of money and never expected to be paid back and that’s the nicest fucking thing.

He donates to the charities that Game Grumps gets to sponsor, and donates to lots of up-and-starting promising kickstarters and greenlit games. He also sponsors his own mom’s charity fundraisers to help her with her own business.

He’s been with his wife for more than half of their lives (since they were pre-teens!) and he loves her so fucking much that it puts other marriages to shame, honestly.

And he gets so much negativity. People shit on Arin all the time. Not just in the comments or on social media but like people shit on him in-person for being bad at the games he plays or for accidentally saying something ignorant (which, might I add, Arin has ALWAYS apologized when he’s been called out for saying something problematic and makes an effort to be better).

He gets all this negativity but he takes it in stride and he works just as hard as he always has to put out content for us and to be able to support his friends.

Struggling to Start a Novel

Anonymous asked: “I really want to start writing a book that I’ve had ideas for rolling around in my mind for a while now. The only problem is I can’t find the motivation to start writing and I’m struggling with getting started. It feels like my imagination is dying!”

Starting a novel can sometimes be intimidating. It’s not physically difficult, but mentally you might face some unexpected roadblocks. I can’t say this is something I’ve ever particularly worried about, but it happens. You get in your head and psych yourself out. You love the idea you’ve been working on and feel there’s a lot riding on it when it comes to putting it on the page. 

The secret to getting over this feeling: take a deep breath and remind yourself that this isn’t the first chapter, this is the first draft. No one will know what you’re writing or if you’re writing anything great. In fact, you can even tell yourself, your idea’s not perfect. It needs work still. Even say, this is just for fun. We’ll see where this goes

Keep reading

blueberrygirlkawaii  asked:

Oko Ruto Yandere x Ayano! Pleaseee Koumi Senpai =3

If oko is yandere…I’m not sure if this is yandere or not,but this is sweet one
I think he will have Platonic love,just like me
It is extremely romantic or simply cannot achieve the love,standing in love around, quietly pay, silently waiting…
He never thought to get Ayano,until ayano suicide because “senpai never loves her”…you know that senpai always treat Ayano in an unfriendly way only because she is a girl of creepy and weird.
Oko regretted after hearing the news of her suicide,He was so wished that she was alive,to respond to his wish is not a God, but a demon

“Are… you there?I am sorry to take you back without permission.
…How are you?ah…sorry…I thought I couldn’t see you,so I might not be nervous…hehe…
Please say something…Are you there?
……please,I’m…afraid you’re not here…”

You Know.....

It is up to you as the user to avoid your triggers. It is not up to everyone else on the site to do it for you.  Please remember that respect goes both ways. Your triggers should be acknowledged, accepted and respected, but they remain…yours and not everyone else’s.

Lucky Number 24 - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Stiles Stilinski/Reader

Word Count: 5008

Warnings: Smut

Notes: Lacrosse Week Special for my favorite bby, Stiles. I can’t believe I just wrote this. I never intended for it to actually turn into that but I got to the point I wanted to, and kinda couldn’t stop from there.

Keep reading

12x17 I..... liked this episode ?

This is my first post-episode overview commentary because I just was surprised how much I liked this episode. There was still some wtf-ery but generally I enjoyed it and, well, I can’t help but link everything to Destiel these days and the Destiel itself was strong but man, the continued breaking down of the barriers to it becoming canon more textual just keeps coming this season. 

Dabb……

Originally posted by michael-scott-quotes

The women: Ok so I really hope they follow through on the Mary can actually “have it all” and I hope there’s a reason for Kelly’s characterisation like she’s being mind controlled by the kid, but other than that I’m pretty happy with this episode? Kelly textually said she was used. Yes, thank you.

Mary and Ketch - I didn’t…hate it? Ok so it’s a bit weird but only because we have info on Ketch that Mary doesn’t? To Mary he is her trainer, he’s charming, he helped save her boys…. she doesn’t know about Magda, Toni, maybe not even how vicious he can be…. and Mary is allowed her fair share of Winchester terrible sexual partners and she’s a big girl, she can do what and whoever she wants as long as it’s not hurting anyone. 

And there is a clear Destiel-related reason I am 100% OK WITH MARY MAKING THIS DECISION! (see below).

Crowley / Lucifer: I’m hoping this whole thing is just another set up like it was last Bucklemming episode, to be ‘fixed’ later, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt there. 

Mick: I liked Mick, I wanted Mick to live even though I knew he wouldn’t really. At least now people wont be worried he’s replacing Cas. Oh well. Also, kind of re-cements Ketch as our bad guy. Will he still try to kill Mary? *drum roll*…

Omg the Saileen: They are cute, they HOLD GREAT EYE CONTACT and all the little smiles and flirting while at the same time wow badass hunter couple. And Sam learned more sign language?! And they talked before off screen after Coeur d’Alene and its implied they talked more than that?! Yes please! 

My head canon is that that night she still couldn’t sleep after killing whatisface snobby Brit guy (yeah, another snobby Brit guy, thanks for that), knocked quietly on Sam’s door, he wordlessly offered his hand to her, she climbed into bed with him, they cuddled and he comforted her, that is all. They are so pure and I love them.

They can be a badass hunter husband and wife and just all the cuteness.


Ok so the Destiel: 

Pining!Dean is what I live for in these kind of episodes. Whispers *Thank you Bucklemming*? 

Dean / Cas and Sam / Eileen clear romantic parallels all episode! Dean not deflecting and admitting he is worried to Sam! (Also aside - Dean admitting Mick drank him under the table and not posturing like he’s this big macho guy).

Dean called Cas 4 times… that day. I would also be worried, Cas always calls Dean back. They also text regularly. So yeah. Also the callback of Mick talking about Lucifer being in your boyfriend. Ouch. Also MORE Dean calling Cas away from Sam *satisfied face* - will add this to my already long phone call post ;) 

Ok, so the Mary/Ketch thing…

Personally, Destiel shipper hat on I hope that between the colt and this, when Dean finds out it will really cement his realisations this season about his feelings for Cas. 

If Mary can sleep with who she wants why can’t he? He’s put her on such a pedestal and she’s shown she’s human over and over again, this would cement it for Dean. And if Mary can sleep with someone she doesn’t love, who Dean knows is a psychopath (even if Mary doesn’t), why can’t Dean acknowledge his own pure, healthy feelings of love for Cas? I don’t know if I’m voicing this coherently but I have feelings about this ok. 

This season is just building so much to break down the walls around Dean / Cas: 

1. Dean generally is letting his facade down and letting his real self shine through, see ALL the meta about the whole of season 12 plus the textual whole episode of 12x11 showing us this is what we are meant to be seeing and getting from all this.

2. Cas was / is still thinking about where he belongs. Dean was / is still worried that everyone he loves will abandon him. THESE THINGS TIE IN TOGETHER AND ARE TEXTUALLY TIEING IN TOGETHER THIS SEASON.

3. Sam and Eileen are / could be a cute hunter couple and a great example. Sam doesn’t have to rely on Dean if he has someone else. Dean can move on himself much as a single parent often does once they know their child is emotionally OK. Check. 

4. Mary shows him that he doesn’t have to worry about *shame* on the family. She might even say something to this point about herself if they discuss this (I’m looking at you leaked argument between Dean and Mary in 12x21).

5. Cas has told Dean that he loves him. And yes I will go on record AGAIN to say that Sam and Dean both had an acknowledged, directed, written, face of REALISATION when Cas made the clarification and made clear the first I love you was to Dean alone. Even if it wasn’t (pffff), it was written ambiguously for a *reason*.

6. And….

Originally posted by yourfavoritedirector

It seems Dean is realising now how ‘fragile’ Cas is. He is no longer on the ‘Cas’ll be fine’ band wagon. HE IS NOT MAD, HE’S WORRIED.

There is a reason twitter is awash with - 

WHERE IS THE ANGEL?! 

- every episode since 12x12 (even 12x15 only had marginal Cas and no real Dean/Cas other than both times it was gloriously, clearly, romanticised).

We are supposed to be worried, to be missing him because Dean is worried and missing him and off course this flows through to the show’s narrative and they’re making us feel this (and I’m sure Sam too of course but its not the same).

Dabb. I see you.