that makes all the greens pretty

anonymous asked:

4, 6, 15, and 17 for the OT3! -Joe

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?

The girls are both really into the Dekresh Aesthetic™ for God only knows why – the skinny, snarky, smirking fuckboy.

Prelude loves Caramel’s muscles (but is also a little terrified by them, tbqh – which really just makes them all the more appealing), and likes Yadira’s pretty green eyes!

6. Who’s the big spoon? (also asked by @sarcasticservo)

On a typical night – Caramel would be the small spoon, Prelude would be the big spoon, and then Yadira would be doing her own thing sprawled out on the other 2/3 of the bed, probably with at least one leg thrown over the other two (but when she does like to join in on the spoon situation, she prefers to be the big spoon).

15. Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?

They’re all pretty comfortable with who they are and what they bring to the table! The biggest difference would be that Prelude takes himself pretty seriously whereas the girls both acknowledge that he’s absolutely ridiculous (and a little bit of a diva) 87% of the time.

17. Their ways of expressing their love.

Yadira expresses her love mainly by teasing the other two.

Caramel is a little sweeter, and likes spending one-on-one time with the others, snuggled up on the couch with a movie.

Prelude likes to surprise the girls with little gifts left around the house.

send more romance asks?

attention college freshmen/anyone feeding themselves for the first time

this is for you

it has come to my attention that some people are not feeding themselves properly bc they don’t know how to cook/aren’t sure how to cook on a budget. bc i am everyone’s mom (or at least everyone’s wise older sister) let me drop some very real Broke Rookie Cooking Knowledge. 2 of my favorite recipes are under the cut, both of which come out to $2 OR LESS PER SERVING.

-MAKE a MENU. pick out like 5 things you know how to make and buy JUST WHAT YOU NEED FOR THOSE THINGS. and also a few snacks, but otherwise, JUST THAT. don’t just buy some random-ass groceries you think you’ll need. (also, if you don’t know how to make 5 things, seriously just google simple dinner recipes. i used a “mississippi heirloom cookbook” my aunt gave me and got a ton of good ones.)

-tbh i don’t even buy snacks except for a giant box of cookies that lasts me like 2 weeks at a time and an assload of apples. snacking is bad for you, and if you don’t HAVE snacks, you can’t EAT snacks. fuck snacks.

-off-brand EVERYTHING. you think you can taste a difference? you CAN’T. get shit in cans. vegetables. pasta sauce. salsa. whatthefuckever. it all comes in cans, and it’s always cheaper. i have no idea why.

-whole grain bread and brown rice/pasta are not more expensive than the regular kind, and they keep you full longer. GET THEM.

-@ my americans, Dollar Tree has literally everything. every kitchen utensil. (it’s where i got my big-ass chef’s knife, and that bitch is still sharp.) dishes/cups. snacks. drinks. literal loaves of bread. all kinds of basics, from peanut butter to sriracha to progresso soup. some even have freezer sections. all for ONE DOLLAR. go to Dollar Tree first, then go to the grocery store for whatever you couldn’t find there. i s2g it saves me so much money. (they also have tupperware, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, EVERYTHING. for one dollar.)

-produce is way cheaper than you think. get some fresh vegetables. you really will start to feel like a bag of hot garbage if you don’t eat your veggies.

-COOK in ADVANCE. i work during the day and go to school in the evenings, then i come home and work out. lemme tell you, my ass does NOT wanna cook when im done with all that. cook shit in big quantities, stock up on tupperware (dollar treeeeee), and stick it in the fridge for later. when you’re exhausted and remember you have instant dinner already made, you will want to kiss yourself.

-find some sandwiches you love. make a lot of sandwiches. (pls for the love of God dont use kraft american singles tho. deli-sliced cheese is literally right next to it, and it is NOT more expensive.)`

-FUCK organic free-range shit. you got organic free-range money? GREAT. i sure as hell don’t, and neither do most people. don’t waste your money trying to live your foodstagram #goals while you’re young and poor.

-if you qualify for SNAP/EBT, GET THAT SHIT. there are some assholes out there that will tell you not to, to leave it for the ~real~ poor people. tell them, ‘motherfucker I AM REAL POOR.’ for real though, corporations take advantage of any assistance the government gives them and they still lobby for more. you’d be a fool not to do the same. 

now some cheap-ass recipes

Keep reading

musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

Gardener AU!! 

(I’m a bad writer, but if you’re interested in some rambling, read more)

Keep reading

Chopped

TED: Four chefs, one chance at a ten thousand dollar prize.  They must create an unforgettable meal using the mystery ingredients provided, or they will be chopped.  Let’s meet our contestants.  First, Chef Angela.

ANGELA: I’m Angela, I’m sous chef at Le Snobbe in Omaha Nebraska.  My specialty is Scottish with an Asian twist.  I need to win this so my parents will take me seriously.

TED: Next we have Chef Madagascar.

MADAGASCAR: I run the Shaggoth Catering Company.  My family came over from Kazantzan to build a better life here, but my brothers all died of the plague the second our house foreclosed.  I need the ten thousand dollars to buy my mother a new kidney.

TED: Chef Bill.

BILL: I’m extremely loud and have a broad range of interests that will do nothing to help me in this competition.  Watch me as I punch the camera with my tattooed knuckles that read FOOD.

TED: And finally, Chef Gooseberry.

GOOSEBERRY: I’m Gooseberry, I live in Los Angeles, and I love vegan food to the point where I won’t eat anything that ingests oxygen.  I see so many people eating meat and it *starts crying* just makes me so sad, I have to win this to show them that there’s a better way.

Ted: Chefs, before you there is a basket of ingredients.  You must use all of them, and your dishes will be critiqued by our panel of distinguished chefs on taste, presentation, and creativity.  If you can’t, you will be chopped.  Please open your baskets.  You must construct an appetizer using shank of unicorn, human hair, ground glass, and puffed cheese snacks. You have twenty minutes.

ANGELA: I see the puffed cheese snacks and I immediately think, haggis.  I run to the pantry and grab chickpeas and Sriracha, to give it a little kick.

GOOSEBERRY: Unicorn!  Whyyyyyy is there meeeeeeat!  (cries) Oh well, I’ll just have to suck it up and make it vegan as possible by pan-searing it and dousing it in chicken broth.

MADAGASCAR: I’m so stoked to see ground glass in the basket.  My mom used to cook with this all the time.  It has sort of a crunchy texture, so I’m gonna make pancakes.

(Shot of Bill looking alarmed and confused)

BILL: Guys…none of these are…food…uhh…

BILL: I just have this wad of human hair in my basket and I’m thinking, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?  But I know unicorn has to be soaked to get the glitter off, otherwise it’ll be way too salty and start sprouting little flowers, so I get that soaking and hope the rest will come to me.

JUDGE ALEX: What a great basket!  But I think it will be a real challenge for our chefs.

JUDGE SCOTT: There’s a lot you can do with puffed cheese snacks, but you’d have to be careful their saltiness doesn’t build on the natural saltiness of the unicorn shanks.  I’m so curious to see what they plan to do with the human hair, which in this basket is a mix of Asian, African, and Caucasian strands.

ANGELA: Some of these hairs are Asian, so I use them to tie the ends of my haggis.  I love showing off my specialty.

MADAGASCAR: Not many people would think to cook and eat a unicorn, but in Kazantzan, you take whatever comes your way.  I take the glitter and I put it into a puree for a sauce with vinegar, making sure to chant the ancient evil incantation over it that will keep it from sprouting.  But I’m running out of time, so I may have slurred some of the words together.

(Madagascar starts bleeding from the nose)

JUDGE ALEX: Ohhh, it looks like he’s reversed the S and the Q in “sesustngsnqsutintan.”  That’s the kind of mistake that could cost him some time.  You have to admire his ambition though.

BILL: I get the unicorn into the grill, but I haven’t even touched my hairball yet.  I remember thinking of a prank my big brother played on me once, so I throw the ground glass into the blender with some ice, vodka, and limoncello.

TED: And there is one minute left remaining!

ANGELA: I haven’t even started plating yet, my haggis isn’t done swelling, but I’m thinking, just get it on the plate.

GOOSEBERRY: I have one minute.  I’m gonna make a fresh green salad to represent my vegan lifestyle, and start making a vinaigrette.

TED: FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE…time’s up, please step back.

MADAGASCAR: I look down at my dish, and I’m pretty proud of what I’ve done.  Then I see that there’s nose blood on the plate.  I need that ten thousand dollars.

BILL: I quickly added the hairball as a garnish.

It’s not gross, it’s gormet

GOOSEBERRY: ohhhh nooo I forgot the unicorn shanks, the glass, the hairball, and the Cheetos (TV EDIT, TOTALLY DIFFERENT VOICE) puffed cheese snacks.  All I have is this red onion salad and white truffle dressing.

ANGELA: If I’d just had five more minutes, this would have been a killer cheese and hair haggis.  *shrugs*

TED: Alright chefs, let’s see what you made. Chef Bill.

BILL: I’ve made for you today a cheese-snack encrusted grilled unicorn shank, with a lemon glass slushie.

JUDGE ALEX (sternly): I love this.  You really handled the glitter beautifully, and the limoncello adds a lot of much-needed acidity to the salty flavors.

JUDGE SCOTT: I don’t like it.  There’s hair on my plate and I hate you.

BILL: It…it was one of the ingredients…

TED: Chef Angela.

ANGELA: Before you today we have a cheese snack and ground unicorn haggis, tied with Asian hairs and garnished with a tarragon and glass crumble.

JUDGE ALEX (sternly): The combination is brilliant, the flavors really play off each other well.  But mine is a little cold in the center, and you can see…I have sprouts.

ANGELA: It’s supposed to do that.  I meant to do that.

TED: Chef Madagascar.

MADAGASCAR: Today I’ve made you a unicorn pancake with a glass crust, and a glitter dipping sauce.

JUDGE SCOTT: I’m not getting any of the human hair.

TED: Tell us why you need to win today.

MADAGASCAR: I need to get my mother a new kidney, as we had to sell her good one to pay for my father’s ransom.  He’s okay now, but times have been hard with just one kidney to share between them.

JUDGE ALEX: There’s blood on my plate.  I can’t eat this.

TED: Chef Gooseberry.

GOOSEBERRY: I’ve made a vegan-friendly dish, with the unicorn, cheese snacks, and the hair omitted.  The glass did not make it onto the plate.

JUDGE SCOTT: This is just red onions and white truffle oil.

GOOSEBERRY: That is correct.

(TV EDIT, SCENE RECONVENES TEN MINUTES LATER)

GOOSEBERRY (with a black eye, sniffling): Thank you chef.

TED: Now whose dish has been put on the chopping block?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC AS WE LOOK AT EVERYONE’S SAD FACE)

TED (revealing Gooseberry’s dish): Chef Gooseberry, you’ve been chopped.

GOOSEBERRY: I was pretty disappointed to get chopped, but I stand by my work, and I’m proud nobody had to eat meat made by my hand. (leaves down the hallway)

TED: Next up, the entree round. WHO (flash to Madagascar) WILL (flash to Angela) BE (flash to Bill) CHOPPED???!!??

You know what? I really wish people were as hyped about Sonequa Martin-Green being the first Black woman to lead in a Star Trek series as they are about the D*ctor Wh* casting. But then again, most feminists don’t care about non-White women so it’s to be expected that most of you guys don’t care about the fact that she’s making history too. And when you factor in Michelle Yeoh, you get it doubly so. Last time I checked, this is a pretty big deal for the sci-fi genre too. 

What’s strange, to me, is people thinking that the D*ctor Wh* casting gives hope to all little girls when we know that’s not true. This issue is just so very layered and complex, but there is something particularly troubling about the fact that people think a White woman should be the symbol all little girls should look up to, regardless of their race. It’s so very arrogant to believe that little non-White girls will be represented by this woman that looks nothing like them. It’s very arrogant to think that little non-White girls should look up to the new Doctor as their new hero, especially knowing this casting is only a win for White women and White women only.

Y'all getting offended by paramore being called the pretty one. Honestly drop it I didn’t make it and I know paramore is worth a lot more than that. Its supposed to be funny so shove your judgments up your ass and move on if it bothers you

2

Totally useless information: I am that kind of person who wears grey or navy and calls that a colourful outfit. I am an all-in-black person, but sometimes I wear green like this one: a slightly darker that what we would nowadays call olive or military green.

This court coat and waistcoat are wonderful examples of the clothing that was needed to be worn in (duh) court at the end of the century: perfect, heavily decorated, hiper elegant and pretty much over the top. Damn, I wish I could embroider like that… or even make a proper coat (JUST LOOK AT THE BACK PLEATS!! Sorry, I’ll go cry in the corner).

Green velvet court coat and matching ivory satin waistcoat, ca, 1790, France.

i just noticed you don’t sing the same anymore. you used to write me stanzas about the green that you were swallowing; told me about the leaves that reminded you of the milkscoop of the moon. since you found him you’ve leaked out all that beauty into other things like makeup and sitting pretty. does he know, is what i’m asking. does he know you can be in a forest and still notice the ladybug with the same tone as your mother’s rubies. does he know your demons like i do; does he talk them down from their stone gargoyle perches and make them soft for you. what i’m saying is you’ve gone quiet and i used to put a song in you. 

anonymous asked:

ANALYZE THE NEW JL TRAILER ANALYZE THE NEW JL TRAILER ANALYZE THE NEW JL TRAILER WE NEED IT

  • there’s apparently black billboard-like setups around metropolis with superman’s symbol in white, exactly like his costume was after he returned from the dead in the comics
  • “and where is the gotham bat? the masked vigilante has been a no-show” this either implies bruce took some time off after superman’s funeral, or more likely, he was so busy getting the justice league together, he actually had to stop his patrol duties for the greater good (gotham rogues being little bitches vs total global alien annihilation, i guess)
  • the amazons have a motherbox and that’s how steppenwolf manages to open a boom tube straight into themyscira. he says, “no protectors here. no lanterns. no kryptonians. this world will fall, like all the others” and it’s interesting to note that the moment he mentions the lanterns, the footage shows the different members of the justice league amidst debris (implying they have already been fighting) looking up. they seem too far apart to be looking at one single person, which makes me think the green lantern corps appears at that exact moment to help them out
  • basically hal jordan 15 minutes late with starbucks: what did i miss lol
  • alfred throwing shade about penguin looking pretty unimportant now in comparison is a nice little fun way to bring batman’s universe into the fold in a very nonchalant way
  • BARRY ALL LIKE “FAM. FAM WAIT A SECOND I’M DOING THIS AS A HOBBY YOU’RE LIKE. YOU’RE ALL LIKE BOB ROSS AND I’M A SECOND-GRADER BEING INTRODUCED TO BASIC CONCEPTS LIKE NOT DRINKING MY PAINT BRUSH WATER”
  • alfred has to babysit everyone and he’s so in over his head but he tries to go along with every alien, magic, superpowered, multidimensional shit because his son finally has friends and isn’t trying to kill others so that’s good
  • that scene on the roof with commissioner gordon and bruce doing his disappearing act with the rest of the league except for barry following along is hilarious because we all know he does this in the comics all the damn time but now he convinced the others to do it too. like his litter of kittens have to take after their father for maximum friendship points
  • everyone looks amazing, bruce looks straight out of the comics to a terrifying degree, but arthur is so majestic, it’s mesmerizing
  • the choice of music especially towards the end reminds me of the animated shows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also, i’m pretty sure alfred’s talking to hal at the end implying bruce knows about the green lanterns and has probably contacted hal before, but it could be clark too. anyway i can’t feel my face from the excitement, whatup

demigod-draco  asked:

if it was at all possible could you pretty pretty please draw some wesper cuddling and maybe kissing?? your artwork is beautiful and i would love to see them bein all cute in your art style!!

Look, I have art of them kissing (even cuddling, but those are just linearts). Also I can’t believe Jesper fucking wore fluro yellow and lime green first meeting Wylan, that flamboyant boy. Actually I can believe it, he’s a strong appreciator of pretty things (and people).

(I dont do requests, but I honestly had this sticking around my art folder, waiting to be uploaded- and sometimes I make an exception for my fave characters anyway, cause I’m a sap)

All’s fair in love and fish plushies

I’m about to do something I wouldn’t normally do, and share bit of drama concerning another company. I’ve been trying to keep this professional(ish) but recent happenings have pushed me to want to talk publicly about it and to make folks aware of what has been going on.

So you folks might remember I began making Otocinclus plushies in around November 2016, and they were a big hit! I can’t remember the exact inspiration that brought me to making suction cup mouthed plushies, but it was certainly influenced by their name “suckermouth catfish” as well as other plushies I’d seen online. Little did I know, this would be the beginning of DRAMA™.

In January 2017 I posted some photos of my Otos in some local fish groups and was snapped up by a local aquatics shop called New Concept Aquatics (who are now my business partners, woo!). I gave them some examples of my work including a suction cup Oto… who was promptly snatched up by a writer for The Practical Fishkeeping Magazine, UK and was featured in the April issue! Exciting Stuff!

… However, throughout all this the owner of the company called Green Pleco, who produces suction-cup mouthed Pleco soft toys, got in contact with me. They claimed to hold a patent for “soft toys in the shape of fish with suction cups for mouths” since 2013, demanded I limit production to 25 a year or pay them royalties for each one sold.

Which would be fair, I suppose, if they actually had a patent for this. I stopped producing Otos whilst I negotiated with them. They were not able to give me a patent number. They’re based in the US, and I am in the UK so even if they did the patent would probably not even exist over here.

At the same time I was doing whole bunch of patent searches and research, including getting some help from friends and some trainee patent lawyers on Reddit who couldn’t find this mysterious patent either.

Another hole in this story is that there’s loads of examples with soft toys with suction cups attached “in the wild” already prior to 2013, including Plecos! Here’s some examples I could find easily by the plush artist I admire, Whittykitty:

I actually contacted Whittykitty and it turns out they’d been contacted by Green Pleco too, despite their Plecos being made in 2011, before Green Pleco even started making plushies! Their advice was to just ignore them, and after all this research I agreed.

I contacted Green Pleco stating pretty much all this, and after being unable to come to an agreement they said they’d put me in touch with their lawyer, which never happened.

I was ready to move on with my life, and Green Pleco had faded into nothing more than a joke (I’m sorry, you can’t do X because I have X patented). One day I stumbled over to Green Pleco’s page again, only to see…

Now, this could be some kind of magical coincidence that Green Pleco has suddenly branched out into a totally different style of printed fabric, but it does look extremely similar to the plush fish I’ve been producing recently. HMMMMM.

Oh, look, apparently these are patented too.

Here’s my Corydoras sterbai for comparison:

I’m pretty annoyed, but the purpose behind this post (other than for me to publically vent my rage) is mostly to let you guys know I have nothing to do with the plushies Green Pleco are producing; they’re using their own artwork and patterns and are nothing to do with me.

There’s nothing I can do in this situation, because unlike GP I’m not claiming to own a patent to “soft toy fish with digital designs printed on fabric” that I don’t have.

It doesn’t mean to say I can’t be a little bitter about this, though. Bastards.

nerdramblings101  asked:

You seem really upset over Supergirl tonight.

i am. i am a little upset. because they finally, finally, gave m'gann screentime that actually went somewhere. they finally gave m'gann the time of day, the time to explore her past and people from it, the time to realise that she has j'onn now and he cares about her. they gave her a storyline that was interesting and action packed and to be honest, it was fucking incredible, and then what? they shipped her back to mars. just like that. their only major woc character, literally written off to another planet.

i’m upset because of alex. because honestly what fresh hell? alex danvers loves her little sister more than life itself. she literally broke up with maggie two weeks ago because she was so torn up over not being around for kara, so she chose kara. and now? now what? she’s bailing on kara’s birthday, a day they’ve always celebrated, a day that so clearly means so much to them - kara especially. and i get it, i do, alex needs to have a life outside of kara, her life doesn’t have to just be protecting kara anymore because she has maggie and they’re happy, but for goodness sake this wasn’t just any normal day, it was kara’s earth birthday, and alex would never bail on that, especially not so easily and especially not after seeing how clearly upset it made kara. the danvers sisters are the heart and soul of this show and i’m upset because you wouldn’t know it if you just started with this episode.

i’m upset because this is supergirl. supergirl, not the mon-el show, and yet somehow even in an episode in which he didn’t have as much screen time as usual, he manages to take over. why does kara have to feel guilty about not having feelings for him? why does every guy kara tries to be friends with end up falling for her and she ends up the one suffering most? why, in that last danvers sisters scene, was alex encouraging kara to give him a chance? i’m sorry but alex danvers has never been entering any mon-el fan contests so why, in a scene that was supposed to be about fixing alex’s relationship with kara, did the conversation end up about him? why did kara have to be convinced she maybe might have feelings for him? and for the love of god that last scene, are you kidding me? kara sees him with another woman and gets jealous because oh whoop de do would you look at that she’s magically discovered feelings for him and now he’s with someone else. look at how not fucking surprised i am. i’ve only seen this on Literally Every Show Ever.

i’m upset because i got new scenes with my otp and i can’t enjoy them as much as i usually would because they just don’t feel right. maggie surprising alex with tickets to see a band she’s loved since college? maggie looking so god damn happy as she bounds up like a damn puppy to tell alex they got vip tickets? fucking fantastic, sign me up. maggie looking ridiculously at home in alex’s apartment? incredible. but i can’t enjoy it as much as i want to, because they came at the cost of alex and kara’s relationship and as much as i love sanvers, they’re not the relationship that makes supergirl. alex and kara are.

don’t get me wrong, i liked this ep. it was action packed and white martians are evil but pretty fucking cool and i am LIVING for all the m'gann we got, all the m'gann and j'onn we got. i am living for m'gann fighting as a green martian, and evil alex was fucking incredible (and hella hot) and vasquez finally returned from the cave in the desert, so don’t take this as me spewing hate left, right and centre because there was a lot about this episode that i really liked, i just. i’m a little upset that this show is supposed to be about supergirl and yet she’s being sidelined as a love interest for the token white guy, and all the other characters don’t seem to be winning any favouritism contests with the writers either.

(disclaimer: it’s 3.30am and i’m tired and cranky and i can’t be bothered to reread this so it might not be worded as best as i could possibly do to say what i’m trying to say but i just don’t care anymore pls don’t come at me)

Problems with the Witchblr Community

There are some serious fucking problems occurring on this website, like:

  1. Peoples’ grimoires are way too artistic. Like seriously you all need to tag that shit like “hey this may trigger you because this Van Gogh beautifully-crafted art style might blind you and gush your morality with its beauty and cause your perspective of your own grimoire/BOS to wilt like a flower on fire”. I don’t take the time to even update my BOS, never mind decorate it with these gorgeous illustrations.
  2. The quality of pictures are way too high. I don’t know where people are getting all these professional cameras. Like I take pictures with my phone or shitty Samsung and post them, and I know I wouldn’t even reblog that shit, the quality is way too low. This results in a standard of high quality Instagram-worthy pictures that is too high for me to keep up with, y’all need to lower your photography skills.
  3. Peoples’ altars are too perfectly positioned in the sunlight, like bathing in the holiness of the sun or moon and washing any of vestige of mortality away from that spot. This kinda weaves into the photography complaint but basically, y’all stop being so artsy.
  4. Digital sigils are too easily and perfectly displayed. I don’t know how people make those sigils, it’s like an elusive angelic society that just sprinkles down talent and useful spells like falling stars. Seriously y’all need to post a how-to on that shit because I don’t have a tablet and just take pictures of hand-drawn sigils, but even those who post their hand-drawn sigils draw them incredibly better than I draw my sigils. 
  5. The witches on this site are way too creative. They’re all thinking of tips and techniques I never thought of before, and it makes everyone else feel dumb because they didn’t think of them first.
  6. Pretty much every witch on this site seems to have a green thumb. They say taking care of plants doesn’t require a green thumb, but I beg to differ because pretty much every plant I own dies. Like I don’t know if it’s because I’m a death witch and am literally radiating death energy, but I can’t keep plants alive for my own life. Green witches gotta share their real secrets, HOW are you keeping your plants alive.
  7. Then there are some problems like elitism, transphobia, homophobia, racism, nazism, blatant disrespect for peoples’ religions and cultures, the hatred with which we argue, and the fear that I’m always being scrutinized and that no matter what I say extreme SJWs will cherry-pick the things I say and misconstrue my argument into something i never said in the first place so i might as well just not even say my opinion on anything which i’m doing right now so i’ll just shut up and continue the joke
  8. The spooky and ethereal Witch Aesthetic™ is too on point. All the hanging herbs and lit candles and smoke from incense are too entrancing and immediately calm my mood and cause me to daydream about the eloquence of the witchy aesthetic. It’s too romanticized. It causes me to enjoy my own craft too much, and I reblog too many of them. We need to cut those down by a bunch.

Just had to get that off my chest.

it gets easier to talk about but it also gets harder to talk about. i have to unfold things carefully, but the map shows better. here’s the first time i got hit by a parent, here’s the first time i got hit by a partner. they’re around the corner from each other, mirror images or hands holding or two sides of a blade. the look on people’s faces always is the same when they find out. like the words hurt them in the pit of their stomach. i feel bad when it does that; i know what it’s like to be suckerpunched. often i comfort people right after: oh, no, it’s okay, i’m okay now, it’s fine, i’m all in one piece, i got out, i’m a resilience child, i learned kindness, i found inner peace, i meditate twice a day, i do yoga and drink kale shakes and eat as if nobody ever made my teeth bleed. some of these are lies, but that is fine too, because it’s better that people don’t know an ugly truth.

sometimes i forget who in the room knows. i laugh about what happened like a punchline (get it) and people stare at me with mouths open like moons. oh my god, did that really happen to you? i don’t know. sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else, out on a distant planet. sometimes it feels like it never happened at all. sometimes it feels like it’s still happening. how can you laugh at that? and is that true? how do i say “because if i don’t laugh it’s serious” because of course it’s true. for proof: raise your hand a fraction too smooth. watch the shadow pass over my face. watch me curl away. watch me change. like a chameleon girl, i shift my shape. someone who doesn’t know laughs. you’re certainly jumpy. the girl at the table who helped me cover the bruise stares at me, watching my chest, trying to figure out if i’m panicking. he’s confused when quiet are you okay questions touch my skin - only those who know, only those who are watching.

and i smile, because it’s easier to talk about but it’s harder to admit it still effects me. memories should be left in the kingdom of dreams. sometimes i feel like i should be done with it already. i stare at a picture of cartoons that says if you don’t know these, you didn’t have a childhood. i know all but two of them. some of them i watched after it happened. i really liked scooby doo. in the end, the mask comes off and the bad guy is revealed and he goes to jail. in real life, i wait for someone to come take his mask off. it just makes him mean. the blue lights of the law never show up on the green of our lawn. i had a pretty good childhood, i think. it made me interesting, at least. i picked blueberries.

i laugh about it a lot. talk about how it’s funny that if you got abused there’s just, like, a second round of partner abuse, sitting out there, waiting for you. that you’re the most likely to pick an abuser from the crowd - or worse, like beauty and the beast, watch yourself become her. see your rotten hands and think of your father. isn’t that funny! that i can take a hit and i’d rather take a lifetime of them than be the one doing the giving just once. i talk about how you walk in the eclipse of it. that it confuses you when the sun comes out. that when you find someone who won’t hurt you, you still walk on eggshells, waiting for them to hurt you. i say it through a smile, because if you bend yourself the right way, your life looks more like comedy-drama than just plain tragedy. i watch fantastic beasts and where to find them and when the abused child turns out to be beyond saving, i hear myself laugh in a bark. or it was a sob. i can’t tell. it doesn’t matter. in my world, children like me learned about magic early, and how our own actions can turn a man from a gentle person into a savage beast. 

okay, i say, smiling, maybe if you put it that way, yeah, i was abused and it wasn’t funny. but come on. think of the puns! you could say my life was really a hit! now don’t be upset. it’s funny. it’s funny. it’s funny.

Dean Thinks You’re Hot

Title: Dean Thinks You’re Hot

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 2,122

Anon Request: you think you could write one where the reader feels insecure about her stretch marks/size and Jensen is her best friend and tries to help her feel better?

Warnings: Negative Thoughts, Low Self-Esteem, Fluff, Implied Smut

A/N: Feedback is always appreciated, friends! xoxox

x

Your name: submit What is this?


    Pacing back and forth around your trailer almost drove you dizzy. Back and forth. Back and forth; as if that was going to simultaneously solve all of your problems. It wasn’t. Not even close.

    You had just gotten the memo that your intimate scene with Jensen was moved to today, not that you weren’t sweating buckets the second you got the script, but the fact that the scene was moved to today instead of five days from now had you ripping your hair from your head. You were going to be very exposed to him, and no matter how long the two of you had been friends, this was something you weren’t comfortable with on so many levels.

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Okay so I’m slowly falling in love with the idea of Percy being a son of Aphrodite  because that au would be so neat like-

  • Percy still having his troublemaker smile and messy windswept hair and sea green eyes but there’s a certain almost uncomfortable beauty to him, inspiring a slight, undefinable uneasiness in most others because his eyes are almost too green and too deep and his crooked troublemaker smile dimples his left cheek in the most radiant way and even his messy windswept hair looks like it was supposed to be tousled in that way and all of his imperfections some how make him more appealing.
  • And because people don’t really understand where this uneasiness comes from so it just furthermore gets Percy labeled as a troublemaker at first glance.
  • Percy getting teased with/nicknamed ‘Pretty Percy’
  • Grover finding Percy at Yancy Academy because his smell is so potent that he knows that Percy must be powerful.
  • When Nancy Bobofit dumps her food onto Grover’s lap, Percy snaps for her to go jump in the fountain and to his surprise she actually does it and he’s never been so confused in his life. 
  • (This of course starts the chain reaction that ends with him passing out on the deck of the Big House with the golden haired girl saying that he must be the one)
  • Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Apollo, gives him the tour around camp.
  • After Capture the Flag when Percy gets claimed there’s such a sense of disappointment from everyone - the kid who killed the minotaur with its own horn was a son of Aphrodite? Seriously?
  • But the disappointment is quickly replaced with shock when Percy disarms Luke at sword practice without even lifting his sword. He just told Luke to drop his sword, and without a second thought, Luke did.
  • Silena is the one who tells Percy about charmspeak.
  • He still becomes a master swordsman and is still one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful demigods of the series.
  • His charmspeak goes from being something that happened either on accident or in dire situations to being more potent then you could imagine. It freaks out a lot of people because he could tell you to do anything, and you would comply without a second glance.
  • He can actually feel love, whether it be romantic, platonic or otherwise. He’ll sense it between partners and families and friends, and he tries to describe it and how each love is distinct and different but no one quite understands - everyone except for Aphrodite that is.
  • One of his powers that he discovers later on in the series is the ability to manipulate love and everything that goes with it. It goes far beyond the trivial, relationship-ending things his siblings do. The love that he can feel and sense between people - he can ruin it, he can make it so it was if it was never there. He can turn that passion into burning hatred. He can turn want into obsessive desire. And that’s when he understands what Aphrodite says when she says that love can bring the gods to their knees.
  • He’s still the child of the prophecy. Aphrodite considers herself the oldest god, being created out of Ouranos. When he was defeated his immortal essence created the sea foam from which Aphrodite was born.

But now onto the cute headcanons of Aphrodite!Percy

  • Being absolute dorks with his siblings.
  • Playing princess dress up with Lacy and letting her do his makeup
  • Getting teased mercilessly by Silena for his totally obvious crush on Annabeth.
  • Using his charmspeak to tease and flirt with Annabeth.
  • Annabeth and him being jokingly known as the ‘flower’ couple of the camp because she’s sunshine and he’s love even though they’re both scary af.
  • Percy speaking fluent french
  • Percy speaking fluent french to Annabeth
  • Percy knowing that he’s attractive and being overly dramatic with hair flips and posing.
  • Percy using his aphrodite-esque powers and looks to become suddenly extremely alluring to Annabeth - which she then blushes and punches him in the arm while he snickers.
  • Percy breaking the stigmas that go along with being a child of Aphrodite.

anonymous asked:

“You bake when you’re stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you’re giving me whole baskets each day, now I’m not complaining but are you okay?” au sterek? <3

OK, I wrote you a quick little thing. :)

now also on ao3

*

When Derek shows up at Stiles’ back door that morning with a basket full of about three dozen cookies, all carefully iced to look like Batman and Spider-Man, Stiles doesn’t say anything. He just gets up from the kitchen table and opens the screen door, and then he looks down at the basket for a long, long moment, and then he rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes and groans.

He looks kind of… unkempt. He’s wearing the same sweatpants and lacrosse hoodie he’d had on two days ago when Derek saw him at his mailbox, and his hair is sticking up everywhere, and it’s obvious he hasn’t shaved in a while because there’s some actual stubble there. Derek didn’t think Stiles was even capable of facial hair. It only adds to his attractiveness, but still, Derek can’t help but be concerned.

Derek doesn’t usually start conversations, but today he feels like making an exception. “Are you okay? This is a lot more baking than usual, even for you.”

“What? What do you mean?” Stiles says, dropping his hands to his sides. His face cycles through about five or six different expressions before settling on something that’s probably trying to say “innocent and oblivious,” but… well. Derek might not know Stiles that well, but he knows Stiles is definitely not either of those things, ever.

“The cookies,” Derek says slowly. “That you leave on my doorstep a few times a week while I’m out on my morning run.”

Stiles glares down at the cookies Derek’s holding like they’ve betrayed him.

“We don’t talk about it,” Derek says slowly, unsure, “but I thought you knew that I knew it was you. I mean, no one else in the neighborhood even talks to me.”

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Loser Club hc

  • Winter break turned out to be beyond freezing
  • They couldn’t even go outside to play in the sparkling white snow
  • After through planning and it freezing to death all the losers are in the safety of Bill’s house
  • They’re fighting over what movie to watch when Bev dumps out her backpack that was filled with makeup and I mean filled
  • The boys have never seen so much makeup and just gape at the sight
  • Bev declares that she’s gonna do each boys makeup
  • They protest so loudly and almost hysterically
  • But in the end they couldn’t say to no to Bev I mean how could they
  • So with some pop music (nkotb) playing in the background Bev gets started
  • Ben is first why because Bev has always wanted him in makeup
  • She sets aside neutral colors like olive, grey, muted blue, champagne and a few other colors for Ben
  • She gives him olive eyeshadow with touches of neutral blue, it’s subtle enough that it doesn’t make him look awkward but enough to bring out his eyes with brown eyeliner
  • She uses champagne powder to cover up any red spots and blends them into his skin and lastly she applies some nude lipstick
  • Ben looks freakin gorgeous omg were the losers in awe
  • Next was Bill, for Bill she mostly used light colors like pale pink, coral, light purple, and a little lavender
  • Lavender and light purple was his eyeshadow with a little brown eyeliner to accent his eyes
  • Pale pink blush and soft tan to to hide and blemishes
  • She gives him coral lipstick as a finishing touch and Stan almost faints but how attractive and beautiful Bill is like Stan just can’t cope
  • For Richie, Bev gives him a punk rock look I mean it’s not like they’ve discussed this before oh no definitely not
  • She applies deep purple eyeshadow with thick black eyeliner cateye style
  • His blush is a dark brownish and his lips are coated in black lipstick
  • Richie flips and he is so excited I mean he looks so badass and Eddie can’t stop staring at him with utter fascination
  • Stan gets all nude colors and boy does he look good
  • She gives him light pink blush to bring out the natural beauty Stan already has I mean this boy doesn’t need makeup he’s so gorgeous without it and Bill just keeps stuttering
  • Mike gets all the bold colors and I mean bold. Bev uses bright orange eyeshadow and he just looks stunning, she adds highlights to his face to bring out his features and man it does lastly she gives him sunshine yellow lipstick and Mike is practically glowing that’s how stunning he looked with the bold colors on his dark skin
  • Eddie gets all the glitter and sparkles
  • His eyeshadow is a glittering pink that makes his soft eyes shine, he gets the lightest powder and then sparkle blush that make his cheeks look so pretty and then Bev gives him cotton candy glitter lipgloss
  • Richie just starts crying because Eddie looks like a god he’s just so beautiful
  • The boys decide to collaborate and do Bev’s makeup instead of her usual look they use soft colors
  • It takes them many tries but they give her sky blue eyeshadow and pale green eyeliner
  • Light champagne powder and pink blush they also give her the glitter lipgloss she gave Eddie and she looks like a goddess as well
  • Ms. Denbrough takes a couple Polaroid shots of the group and each loser gets a copy
  • It was the best winter day ever