that little smile when he kissed her killed me inside

Tear In My Heart Pt. 2 (Dan Howell x Reader)

Pairing: Dan Howell x Reader

Genre: Romance

Word Count: 1,650

Summary: You’re still upset over what Dan did and he is determined to heal your broken heart. He has devised a plan that he believes will win you back, but what if it doesn’t? Will you part ways forever or live happily ever after?


(A/N) Thank you to @royaldragontamer14, @xrandomcrazygirlx, @tripping-on-anxiety, and @stuckinthetoaster for requesting a part two! I hope you all like it :)



It had been three weeks since he last saw you in front of that café. The memory was burned into his brain. Your fleeting footsteps and the feeling of his heart shattering was etched into his mind. He couldn’t get over you even if he wanted to. He hated that he caused you pain. He loathed himself for ever even thinking about another woman. It was his entire fault that he lost you, the love of his life. He reminisced about when you were still a couple. It was the best six months of his life. He missed how you would always match his sarcastic comments and do that adorable victory dance every time you beat him in Mario Kart. He yearned for you to be in his arms once more. He longed to hear you laugh at his terrible jokes. He wanted you to be his again.

A few times after the encounter at Starbucks, he had tried to contact you but he never got through. He understood why. He would break up with himself if he could. No matter how much Dan missed you, he decided to give you space. You probably never wanted to hear from him again so he decided not to push you. It would just pull you farther away from him even if it killed him inside. All he thought about was you. How your eyes got that magical twinkle when you were amused. How you could light up a whole room with just a flash of your smile. How soft your lips were when he kissed you-

“Daniel!” He was snapped out of his reverie by his best friend. “Did you hear me?”

Dan laughed a little. “Sorry Phil. What did you say?”

“Louise invited us to a shindig at her flat tonight.” He stated, concentrating on the message on his phone.

“You did not just say ‘shindig’” Dan gave him an odd look.

“I may or may not have said it and be regretting it right now,” Phil admitted “What do you say? Want to attend the soirée?”

“Only if you stop talking like that”

“I was running out of fancy words for party anyway” said Phil, shrugging his shoulders.


You were lying on your bed editing a video when your phone chimed. It was Louise asking if you wanted to come over for a get together. The message made your stomach churn. Last time you went to a party you saw Dan and that girl. The thought of Dan immediately made you heart ache. You missed him. After everything that happened you still loved him. It’s hard to just forget about someone who you thought was the one. You still missed his hugs and his cheerfulness. The way he could make you laugh on the saddest days. You still loved him but you couldn’t bring yourself to be with after seeing him with another woman.

This is crazy you thought. You cleared your mind of Dan and told Louise that you would be there. It would be nice to meet with friends and not have to think about Dan.

                                       ***Time Skip to Party***

You had just arrived at Louise’s building. You dreaded walking up all the stairs but persevered anyway. You had finally made it to the door.

 “Y/N! I’m so glad to see you!” Louise greeted you enthusiastically.

“I’m glad to see you too” you said with a smile as she ushered you into the flat. This wasn’t anything like the party for Phil’s birthday. This was more of a gathering. There wasn’t any loud music or dancing, just a lot of close friends mingling with each other. You scanned the room and saw many of your friends. Your mouth stretched into a smile. You were excited to finally catch up with some of them.

“There are snacks and drinks in the kitchen if you want anything” Louise offered you. You nodded your head and began to walk to the kitchen as she resumed her conversation with Zoe.

You hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast so you made food your top priority. Once you made it into the kitchen though, you lost your appetite. There he was standing right in front of you. His chestnut hair was swept to the side in its usual style and his dark brown eyes were looking right into your own (e/c) eyes. You both stared at each other for a minute before Dan broke the silence.

“Hey y/n” his voice was quiet and shy.

“H-hey Dan” you stuttered. Another moment of silence passed before you excused yourself and walked out of the kitchen.

What do I do?, you thought to yourself, Should I leave?

No,  you decided, I’ll just talk to my friends. I don’t need to interact with Dan.

That plan was actually working for you. You were chatting with Chris and Pj when you heard Tyler, who was visiting from America, call everyone into the middle of the room. He instructed everyone to sit in a circle before he explained to us what we were doing.

“I have a wonderful idea that I’m sure all of you will love” Tyler beamed. “Oh no” you thought, worriedly.

“We should all play a game. A game I like to call” he paused “7 minutes in heaven” he announced dramatically. The group immediately groaned in response.

“Come on guys! It’ll be fun!” He tried to encourage us.

“I think it sounds cool” Chris agreed. The rest of the group reluctantly went along with the game.

Everyone wrote their name on a slip of paper and dropped it into a hat. You could only go once so after you picked someone your name had to be removed which you found tedious but didn’t say anything about. Tyler went first and picked a random piece of paper.

“Zoe” he announced. When they got in the closet they just talked for the whole time. They are best friends, after all.

“Y/N how about you pick next?” Tyler asked.

“Um sure” you approached the hat and picked the first name you touched.

Your heart started beating rapidly as you read them name on the paper.

“Dan” you said monotonically, not looking up from the paper.

You looked down at the floor as you made your way into the closet. You still didn’t look him in the eye as you sat down with your back against the wall. You noticed that he mirrored your actions. You sat in silence until you heard him take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he sounded like he was going to cry, “can I please explain to you what happened?” Dan looked at you expectantly. You stayed quiet but nodded your head.

“To be perfectly honest, I can barely remember that party. I had gotten so drunk that I couldn’t think straight. It was probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he said with a bitter laugh, “I just want you to know that I am truly sorry. I understand if you don’t want to ever talk to me again. I made a stupid mistake like the idiot I am. I’m really sorry about everything” his voice cracked on that last line. You thought carefully about everything he said.

“You’re not an idiot Dan” you muttered softly.

He turned towards you. “Yes I am. I lost the person who I loved most in the world because of my dumb mistake” he hung his head in shame.

Your heart swelled at his words. The person who he loved most in the world. He loved you still? You turned your head towards him and met his eyes. You leaned towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“It’s ok Dan” you whispered in his ear. You felt him tense then quickly relax and his wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. As cheesy as it sounds, you felt at home in his arms. You missed him so much and it was bliss to have him back. He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. You began to pull away but his grip on you only tightened, pulling you so close to him you were basically on top of him. You didn’t object to the embrace.

“Please don’t make me let go Y/N. I never want to let you go again.” You could feel his lips move against your neck.

“I don’t want you to let go either” you softly whispered as you pulled your head back enough to look at his face. You both started leaning into each other until there was no more space left between you two. You had missed the warmth of his lips on yours. The kiss was gentle yet passionate and seemed to go on for hours even if it was probably only a few minutes. You slowly pulled away but Dan leaned up and captured your lips once more. He held you tightly as if you could fade away at any moment.  You both finally pulled away from each other when the lack of oxygen became too great to handle.

“I love you Y/N” Dan said shakily.

“I love you too Dan” You breathed. You were just about to engage in another lip-lock when you heard Tyler yelling.

“TIME’S UP LOVEBIRDS. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON” You were blushing furiously as you and Dan stood up. He smiled down at you while he interlaced your fingers. You both stepped out of the closet with your hands still intertwined. You sat next to each other when you rejoined the group.

“Looks like you two made up” observed Phil as the next person picked a name from the hat. You looked over at Dan and he was looking at you with so much love and adoration that you couldn’t help but smile and return the gaze.

“Yeah. Yeah we did”