that line will never not sound ~dirty

Heart on the Line (part 1)

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1516
warnings: smutty smut smut and dirty talk (future chapters)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Remember that song Ishida posted a while back (Surender by Buzz Mothers) with Kaneki and Touka art. With all the convos going on and the Touken talk basically being the final boss, there is a piece of the song that's starting to make some sense (to me). "Perhaps it is because I have rejected peaceful days,after taking the meaningless detour,I laugh when I see her – tired from waiting – asleep in an acrobatic posture." (That last bit sounds like they are about to do the dirty)

You clairvoyant anons never cease to amaze me! I got this ask like a week ago and back then my reply would have been along the lines of “Lol, that would be great, wouldn’t it! Unfortunately I think that might be wishful thinking, since when you choose an already-existing song for your characters, there are always going to be lines that don’t necessarily fit.” But now that the dirty may be about to be done, I see it in a new light! Just for fun, I’m going to try dissecting that song’s relevance to Touken.

Lyrics translated by the wonderful sunset-tower!

Music here.

Surrender
by Buzz Mothers

The title suggests that Kaneki should surrender the hero act and just be honest with Touka about his feelings. This will become apparent in the penultimate verse.

What a sad person she is
All alone in this wide world

Touka has lost both her father and her brother and she goes on to lose Yoshimura, Koma, Irimi, Hinami - and of course, Kaneki. They all either leave her or are taken away from her.

What a pitiful person she is
That a person like me is her only saviour

Both Kaneki’s self-deprecation and hero complex shines through here. He laments that life has been so cruel to her that she can have faith in someone as damaged as him. 

Like a heat haze my determination wavers
Once again I’ve lost the tiresome battle without even fighting

I think these lines can be taken to refer to Kaneki’s crusade against Aogiri, especially since this was when Kaneki was playing the role of ‘saviour’ in order to protect Touka and others. He eventually gives up on his quest not because he’s losing the fight, but because his friends persuade him that he’s walking down the wrong path - especially Touka, who finally convinces him to return to Anteiku.

Disappointed, while I’m writhing in pain somewhere
she murmurs to me with a smile, “You’re lovely.”

But Kaneki goes back on his decision when he sees Anteiku under attack and throws himself into the fray. While he writhes in pain from Arima’s assault, he remembers Touka on the bridge expressing both disappointment in him and concern for his well-being. At the end of the manga, Touka expresses faith in Kaneki.

Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster
Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster

These lines could be coming out of either of their mouths. The term “monster” shows that they are accepting the sins and ‘Ghoulish’ qualities of the other. One night in the future (maybe next chapter!), they express their love and recall everything that has come to pass.

On nights with no way home,
the only guide is the lonely light in her room

When Kaneki loses his memories, he loses the way back home to his old life and to Anteiku. The only guide and light of hope is Touka’s room, or more specifically her cafe. The “lonely” light of the room is a transferred epithet for the room’s owner, missing Kaneki.

On an unfamiliar street, burning alone,
a lonely light that is almost warm

Anteiku is gone and its successor is in a different location, so it is literally on an unfamiliar street for Kaneki. This adds to Haise’s confusion when he has no memories of the place itself and yet it evokes glimpses of his past. It is new but old, different but the same - much like how Tokyo Ghoul:re is to Tokyo Ghoul. The light is “almost” warm because while Kaneki is drawn to his past, he is simultaneously frightened of it. 

Perhaps it is because I have rejected peaceful days,
after taking the meaningless detour,

Very much Kaneki’s attitude after he regains his memories. Haise was a meaningless detour to him, a pathetic attempt to run away from his problems without actually dealing with them. As such, he allows despair to flood back into his soul, freezing over the warmth that defined Haise and discarding the false peace he felt during that time while facing his misery head on.

I laugh when I see her – tired from waiting –  
asleep in an acrobatic posture

Kaneki finally comes back to :re and Touka, who is naturally tired, since she has been waiting for a bloody long time. Personally I think the acrobatic posture’s just a bit of the song’s humour and doesn’t tie in with Touken, but feel free to read it however you like.

Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster
Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster

If I were to disappear,
buy a new notebook
If sorrow were to creep in at night,
lock it up within the five lines

The singer here advises his lover to transform any sorrow he causes her into poetry, the five lines referring to the structure of a tanka poem. Touka has zero interest in literature, but the basic meaning still applies: if something happens to me, please turn that pain into something beautiful and don’t let it destroy you. It fits pretty well with the creation of :re in response to Kaneki’s original disappearance, and I think Touka’s naturally going to be concerned that she might lose Kaneki again as soon as she has him back. He may say something along these lines to her, or even leave it to her as a ‘testament’ like the CCG do to mirror the Raid arc of the original series. His mentor Arima could never find anything to write because he could not think of anyone who loved him; but in Kaneki’s case, he’s going to finally understand how loved he already is.

Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster
Tonight, I belong to you
Tonight, you are my monster

Baby, the seasons will change again in the streets
It doesn’t matter, leave me behind

Kaneki offers words of inspiration for Touka in case anything does happen to him, advising her to move on as things will always change for the better as the seasons turn from Winter to Spring.

Aaah, I am anxious all the time
So be by my side and give me courage, always

But Kaneki’s own fear, not just for himself, but for all his loved ones leaks through, and he expresses his honest feelings and insecurities to her rather than trying to protect her with words. He asks for her to always be with him, extinguishing his loneliness for good, and to give him the strength and hope he needs to continue.

Baby I love you so bad

HE LOVES HER

Like a heat haze, the everyday wavers
I laugh, like I’m forfeiting happiness

Things in Kaneki’s life have always been subject to sudden change, and even the peaceful everyday he hopes to find is at risk. The very last line suggests Kaneki’s concerns about finding happiness in the fear that he’s just going to lose it all again - if this goes wrong for him, he feels as though he might not ever be happy again. He’s laughing because he’s happy, but simultaneously, he is frightened. Like he said in Chapter 119, if his life took a turn for the better, his first feeling would be fear that it would disappear.


So, that’s my reading of Ishida’s reading of the song. Obviously not a lick of this was intended when the song was written - this is just what I think Ishida saw in the song that made him choose it for Touken. 

anonymous asked:

OMG! The cheating one!! You need to do the reverse! The guys discovering Candy cheat on them. God bless them!!

Mmmmm angsty lil anon of course, I’m glad you asked. These headcanons will have different scenarios, which are listed under the names just for angst reasons…enjoy! 

Nathaniel
(Texting the s/o)

  • Candy would’ve probably left her phone out and Nath would wanna leave some picture of he and White on it…until there’s a text notification. 
  • I wish I could be with you tonight :((” He would pause for a moment. He’d read it over and over again.
  • Wouldn’t believe it, thinks it’s a joke. 
  • Texts back; “ikr…I wish I could kiss you now and be with you all night..” and anxiously waits for a reply.
  • Honestly ?? Can’t believe that Candy would do something like this.
  • Paces around, he tries to think differently, but he KNOWS something is up.
  • Boiling inside with rage, prays that it’s not real - it can’t be.
  • Reply would be “Me too..” - right then and there, he’d SNAP.
  • Wondered in the back of his mind, if this is what Castiel felt like.
  • If he was living with Candy, he’s packing his stuff and waiting for her.
  • If she was living with him, he’d pack her stuff FOR her.
  • As soon as she comes and tries to kiss him, he moves away. HE doesn’t even wanna TOUCH her.
  • Would be very angry, not even the slightest bit of upset - he’s just feels betrayed.
  • Yells, yells, and yells. Even swears and brings up all of their memories.
  • Takes her phone and smashes it, he has EVERY right to be angry.
  • Candy shouldn’t pull the ‘it’s not what it looks like card’ it’s EVERYTHING that it looks like.
  • Actually gets teary eyed ?? Not a single sad tear, tears of rage - really.
  • Gives Candy her bag and yells at her to leave.
  • So pissed ?? There’s no single WORD that could describe his rage.
  • If he’s living with Candy, he leaves out the door himself, the only thing he left was just shattered glass.
  • If Candy called him, he wouldn’t answer. He doesn’t want to hear her.
  • If Candy came to his door, he’d ignore it. She doesn’t exist anymore.
  • Can’t sleep either, has dreams about how he didn’t see the signs..
  • Wishes he could turn back time and see it coming before then.
  • Questioned everything that happened in the past and how he didn’t notice.
  • Cried at the end of the day, just in his bed - crying sad tears.
  • “I can’t believe you did this…to us.“ 

Castiel
(Walks in on Candy and s/o)

  • Stops in his damn tracks so quick, holding a little box behind his back.
  • Watches them…watches her and him make at it…just like they do.
  • Would honestly try to control his breathing, he’s slowly losing it.
  • As soon as one of them notices him, he busts in the door and swears every word he knows. 
  • You little motherf-cker…“ 
  • Voice would be getting high with all of that yelling and Candy THOUGHT she saw an angry Castiel.
  • Would honestly lunge at the s/o in their bed and try to snatch him up, s/o eventually slips away.
  • Demon almost bit s/o on the way out and barked at him.
  • Yells at Candy, doesn’t even give her time to even speak.
  • Points at her a lot, he’s just so mad. 
  • Planned to propose to her that night…guess not anymore.
  • This man probably invented new swear words in the process.
  • Candy could try to defend herself all she wants but so much as SEEING that is enough proof. 
  • If Candy is living with him, he’d tell her she had 2 minutes to get her belongs and “get the f-ck out of my home…and out of my life.”
  • If he’s living with Candy, no need to tell him to leave, he leaves after the greatest argument.
  • Cries angry tears on his nightly walk, smokes a lot.
  • So stressed he wants to just ball himself up and be left alone.
  • Can’t sleep, he can’t sleep without those dreams about s/o and her in the bed.
  • Looks so dead…he’s worn out, he can’t even trust anyone anymore. First Deborah, now Candy. 
  • Tells Lysander, who also cuts off contact with Candy. Don’t screw up with his best friend like this.
  • Lysander would be around him more often, trying to console him.
  • Doesn’t give Candy any dirty looks. He gives her no looks, she’s just nothing.
  • Would probably hint to Nathaniel what had happened, Nath would actually have some sort of sympathy for him.
  • Stays home often, especially after school.
  • He’d give the ring away, simple as that. As simple as she threw him away.
  • “Dammit…You can’t even love anyone anymore.”

Lysander
(Answers Phone Call from s/o)

  • Wouldn’t recognize the number, but answered it since Candy’s showering. 
  • Stays quiet on the other line, you could never be too careful. 
  • Candy?” He would freeze for a second, that doesn’t sound like ANY guy back at the school.
  • Would answer back with a “You have the wrong number”, just to see what would happen.
  • S/o would explain it’s not the wrong number and to “This is F/N, dude… just give the phone to my girlfriend”.
  • Voice starts to get a little hostile. “Excuse you, but this is her boyfriend, Lysander.“ 
  • S/o would be quiet alongside Lysander, they’ve been two timed. 
  • Stomach would drop, he feels sick to think about what she’s done and how many times she’s lied to them both.
  • Starts to get a little lightheaded.
  • S/o would apologize and he’d hang up, forget the s/o - Candy is who he needs to talk to. 
  • Waits for Candy to get out of the shower as he sits on the bed and waits for her.
  • Goes all through her cellphone find texts, messages, pictures…everything he hasn’t seen.
  • Candy would see him and ask ”what’s wrong“ and Lysander would silently be scrolling through that phone.
  • Candy must be extremely pale just watching him do that.
  • Would deal with the situation as maturely as he can as much as he wants to cry.
  • Shows a ‘friendly’ looking picture of the s/o and her. If she lies, he shows an intimate one.
  • If she tells the truth, he’d figure this. That’s when the water boils over.
  • Looks heartbroken as if she bit his heart and spit it out. 
  • Starts rambling about their relationship how much they loved each other, he’d make Candy feel like trash.
  • Candy could try to kiss him, he’d block it with his fingers or stepping to the side.
  • Tells Castiel on HER phone RIGHT IN FRONT of her, he believes it - Lysander isn’t the one to lie.
  • If Candy lives with him, he points at the door and tells her to ”Get your stuff and leave, NOW.
  • If he lives with Candy, well damn - he’d talk to Castiel, pack his things, and leave. 
  • Meets up with Castiel and pours his heart out, he feels empty, he feels stabbed, he just feels…hurt.
  • Tries not to cry but is on the verge to, Castiel would pat his back and give him a warm side hug.
  • Ignores Candy, full-time, as if it’s a job. 
  • Actually cried…Castiel was shocked, gave him a long side hug right there - cried on his shoulder.
  • “I don’t understand…how someone you love can hurt you as if…you’re no one to them.”

Armin
(Sees Candy’s other social media account with s/o)

  • Was being the geek he is, searching up his friends names online to see if he could find them or not. Then, he did Candy’s - just for fun…and he found her.
  • Found her on another site he’s never heard of, he clicks it.
  • ….Wait what the hell is this?” Very confused at first, seriously, what is this site??
  • If Alexy’s home, he calls him into his room. If not, he texts him what he’s found and sends a link.
  • Keeps looking through the selfies, videos, and then he sees s/o. “Out here with my sugar boo <3” They were kissing.
  • Nearly screamed for a moment there - that is REAL
  • Heart starts to beat very fast…in anger and in disbelief, he’s just - overwhelmed.
  • Searches through EVERYTHING, he doesn’t care if it’s a selfie of herself or her girlfriends - he’s looking at everything.
  • Saves some files on his phone with his USB cord…gets very upset, actually.
  • If Alexy is by his side, he’s just as shocked, but more upset than he is angry.
  • If Alexy is gone, he’s on his way now.
  • On the verge of wanting to yell and cry. 
  • Alexy would pack her stuff, no need to ask him, she’s getting dropped just like she dropped Armin for another man.
  • Thought that this could NEVER happen…he was just so in love with her and he THOUGHT she was too.
  • Wonders what went wrong, where did she meet him, how did she lie - overthinks everything, which he rarely ever does.
  • Don’t even START about Candy walking in on him, it’s gonna be a lot of yelling.
  • Is actually very scary when he yells since he doesn’t do it much, it’s similar to a jump scare.
  • Swears a whole damn lot if she walks in. She would be terrified, for sure. 
  • Alexy wouldn’t try to help her, only thing he’d do is pass Candy her bag of belongings. 
  • If Candy tries to lie again, that door would be slammed by Alexy.
  • Very heartbroken…not like in the games…it’s like getting punched in the heart and having it taped back.
  • Starts ranting, complaining, and Alexy is just sad listening to his brother - TWIN brother, upset like this.
  • Then after the end of his ranting, he’d probably just be THAT upset to the point he’d just bury his face in his hands, from sniffling about it all … to weeping.
  • Alexy would hug him, forget man hugs - this is his brother and he needs help.
  • Never wants to see her again.
  • “Of course she doesn’t love me….of fucking course she doesn’t.”  

Kentin
(Notified by best friend, about Candy and s/o)

  • Planned on taking her to a fancy dinner that night, had the restaurant, suit, everything. Even a little gift.
  • Before he left to call Candy at home, he’d receive a call from Alexy.
  • Wouldn’t answer it, he’s gotta get ready for his date.
  • Alexy would call again, in which he wouldn’t answer as he gets his shirt on.
  • Eventually annoyed by the calls, he picks up the call.
  • Super annoyed by the way but picks up on the sake of trying not to have such a high phone bill.
  • Alexy wouldn’t even say “Hey Kentin” he’d straight up blabber?? “Wait hold on - slow down Alexy…
  • Giving an ”UGH“ noise, Alexy hangs up and Kentin looks confused af at his phone - then he gets a text.
  • "You should look at this..” now this is rare since Alexy uses an emoji and less periods every time he sends a text.
  • It would be a picture of Candy and some other guy…he doesn’t know.
  • Thinks it’s a horrible joke and starts spamming Alexy with a “Alexy, this isn’t funny”
  • Alexy swears it’s true and sends in a video instead. “OML I’M NOT KIDDING LOOK!!
  • It’d be them kissing this time…he pauses. He just freezes
  • Dropped his phone and quickly picked it back up to stare at it.
  • No words, no nothing - it’s like his soul left. Sits on his bed to repeat the video over…and over again.
  • Wants to honestly punch something - anything, but he also wants to cry. 
  • Heartbroken, like anyone else would be…
  • If Candy lives with him, he’s packing her crap and setting it outside with a note of “Have a nice life - your ex, Kentin”.
  • If he’s living with Candy he’s THROWING his stuff into his bags and leaving as quick as he can. Doesn’t want to confront or see her, just go away.
  • If he runs into Candy, that’s it - he’s yelling, he’s swearing, he’s going OFF.
  • Candy can get scared or mad all she wants, he has a right to be yelling over something LIKE THIS.
  • Calls Alexy if he can come over. Obviously he needs to vent really bad right now.
  • Alexy would comfort him and Armin would try to find anything else from her social media accounts. 
  • Would get teary eyed but wouldn’t cry, he can’t cry for a snake like her.
  • “…She didn’t love me…she didn’t love me this whole time.”
4x04 Personal Highlights

So I know that there has been a lot of negativity surrounding this past episode, but I would like to point out that it was far from being all bad and I would say it was a hell of a lot better than episode four from LAST season (aka. my least favourite episode of this show, ever) there was actually some good shit buried in this episode that I would like to address.

Never too much positivity, right fam?

Okay, I’ll get to it.

1. “Bellamy should be back by now.”

I mean, it’s self-explanatory. Even the C/exa queen is writing us some Bellarke shit .. hmm, I wonder why? Maybe cause she has to? Maybe cause Bellarke is becoming canon? Huh, weird.

2. Monty being a total babe and trying to comfort Clarke

It only serves to make the absence of his name on The List that much more painful, but I love seeing Monty trying to cheer Clarke up. He’s such a beacon of light. @the-ships-to-rule-them-all and @abazethe100 talked on their podcast about how its not just Monty’s brain and skills that make him invaluable, but who he is at his core - a source of optimism and support. He holds people together. I thought it was worth mentioning because @theskyboxpodcast is always good, but I especially loved that bit.

3. Devon’s acting

The writers truly could not have picked a better actor to play Jasper. He kills it, over and over and over again. Devon is the perfect mix of humour and tragedy that makes Jasper so heartbreaking and unique. He brings life to this character in a way that few actors could. That scene in the rain perfectly demonstrates this.

(UNRELATED: I’d love to see how Jaha was managing out on that lake when he heard about the acid fog. The possibilities are never-endingly humourous.)

4. Kane calling out Octavia

This scene was soooo validating because its the first time that Octavia’s actions have TRULY been called out. And it wasn’t just a brief call-out, it was an entire lengthy scene dedicated to why Octavia’s actions are NOT being supported by the narrative and are NOT right or honourable. 

“A warrior knows when not to kill. Lincoln taught you that. You seem to have forgotten.”

FINALLY RECOGNITION THAT A WOMEN WITH A SWORD IS NOT ALWAYS BADASS AND EMPOWERING. IT TAKES MORE THAN THAT. IT TAKES HONOUR

And to those of you who were screaming about Octavia never dealing with the consequences of her actions after … what? 4x02? YOU COULDN’T WAIT TWO EPISODES??? WHY DO YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELVES? Short rant concluded. This was a top-knotch scene. 

5. LUNA

She is so gorgeous and her voice is so soothing. She makes every episode better just be existing.

6. THE ISLAND IS SO COOL

I’M SO GLAD THAT ALIE’S MANSION IS NOT THE ONLY THING WE GET TO SEE OF THIS ISLAND. THE WHOLE INTRIGUE SURROUNDING BECCA AND HER LAB AND THE DRONES AND THE “MUTANT LINE” AND THE MYSTERIOUS THINGS THAT ALIE’S SECURITY IS “PROTECTING” THEM FROM IS SO INTERESTING AND ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING THIS SHOW HAS DONE BEFORE AND BOY AM I EXCITED TO FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS STORYLINE. AND ALSO I, AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE, TOTALLY PREDICTED THAT THEY WERE HEADED BACK TO ALIE’S ISLAND TO FIND A LAB OF SOME SORT BACK IN THE HIATUS SO GOOD-WORK TEAM. NOTHING GETS PAST THIS FANDOM, I SWEAR.

7. Jackson being a total babe and helping out Raven this episode/showing compassion and concern

So I’ve seen people shipping it and I am … oddly, not opposed??? I mean, he’s sweet and that banter was nice and he’s a doctor which means he’s probs smart and also can help her out with her pain (kinda) and it will never happen but I CAN DREAM OKAY? 

Also, Jackson is Jackson’s only name. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. You will never hear me referring to Jackson by any other name. #dealwithit

8. “Save us all” sounds like “keep us all clean” in Trigadesleng because apparently Grounders know their priorities

I guess this explains why L.exa had that deep conditioned shit last season while Clarke was progressing through her slow but steady evolution into a dirty mop

9. “I’ve never met a line I wouldn’t cross.”

Richard you get the best lines. And you slay them every time.

10. MURPHY AND RAVEN’S DYMAMIC

I’M SO EXCITED. Lindsey and Richard are both a thrill to watch and they’re both so sassy and their history is just … WOW. They haven’t had many scenes together ever since that KILLER scene in the dropship where we learned Murphy’s backstory which is a total crime because THEIR CHEMISTRY SERIOUSLY FLIES THROUGH THE ROOF.

I do think Murphy was trying to get on Raven’s good side when he grabbed her and helped her to safety and it was definitely for his personal motives, but I do also believe that a large part of him wanted to do it as an attempt to make up for fucking up her life so bad as well. It’s such an interesting dynamic to watch.

Just want to clarify that I don’t ship it because … y’all he literally shot her and paralyzed her why do you do this?? But I definitely want to see more of them on my TV screen

11. Dad!Kane cupping his son’s face

Need I say more?

12. “Warriors don’t reveal their secrets.”

AND ECHO LOOKS AT BELLAMY BECAUSE HE DIDN’T CAVE AND REVEAL THEIR SECRETS BECAUSE MY BOY IS SO STRONG 

13. Ice Nation is SO much more interesting than Trikru

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

14. “Remember that time we welded your dad’s furniture to the ceiling? Now THAT was a prank.”

I WOULD SAY SO MONTY LMAO THIS IS SO EXTRA AND I LOVE IT

CLASSIC JONTY I CAN CLEARLY ENVISION THEM DOING THIS

15. “You’re not God, Clarke. You don’t get to decide who lives and dies.”

Hmm … that’s an interesting line. Almost like it might be … I don’t know … A major theme of the show or something?

Also A++ delivery Devon. Kudos.

16. This show is SO GOOD with moral dilemmas

They truly do bring their A-Game every season. The List is just one example of these so-called moral dilemmas. There truly is no right choice. Clarke was pragmatic, everything she did made SENSE. But was it moral? Was it humane? That’s another story, and it’s one these writers are not afraid to tell.

17. Monty and Clarke’s interactions are all so on point

“You’re the one going too far and using the same old justification: it’s all for my people.”

ANOTHER MAJOR THEME ALERT

Monty is spilling the tea this episode and while I understand Clarke’s mindset and sympathize with her for dealing with the pressure on her shoulders, everything that Monty said in this scene was absolutely 100% true, and it’s going to come into play in Clarke’s character arc this season, I am sure.

18. Raven’s struggle with her leg is so real

Kim perfectly captured the struggles that Raven has to deal with and how her leg, while limits her physical ability, certainly does not limit her determination, her skill, and her brain. 

19. “What if the fight is all we are? We torture, kill, betray. We pretend we’re more than that just to make ourselves feel better, but it’s a lie.”

I love this line so much. This episode encapsulates so many themes and big ideas of the show (and it grapples with morality in hugeeeee ways) and I’m loving it.

20. “You’re not a prisoner, Luna. You have a choice.”

Raven putting her gun down and saying this to Luna is SO important, especially when you think about how Clarke tried to force the flame on her in 3x14. Free will was a major theme last year and I’m glad to see it paying off now.

21. Jaha swooping in and stealing that crowd

Listen. I know that there are many conflicted opinions on Jaha and I know that lot of people hate him. But I have never been more intrigued. His story this season is sooo interesting. I have no idea what to expect from him. I feel as though he is so disconnected from the other characters at this point in the narrative that he’s a complete wild card. Do I trust him or not? Should I? What are his motives? What knowledge does he have that the other characters don’t?

He’s so fascinating to me in that he is completely unpredictable. His story this season could break off in just about any direction. 

This scene was really fun to watch. Clearly, Jaha’s years of being a Chancellor comes in handy with a crowd. He knows what to do, what to say, to sway them. It reminds me of Bellamy, in a way, actually. Say what you will about Jaha, but he has a way with words and he knows how to inspire people. I can’t wait to see how this goes. 

(I totally think that lottery is bullshit and I think that Jaha realizes this, but he’s manipulating the crowd. We’ll see how this blows up in our faces later.)

“The people need to feel like they have a say in their fate.”

Another interesting line that I enjoyed. Just wanted to point it out.

22. “It’s the only choice you gave yourself. If you think you have the best idea, you have to convince people, not lie to them. Or lock them up.”

So choices and free will and truth and morality are all big focusses of this episode. People seem to overlook how much great thematic stuff is in 4x04 but there’s a lot and it’s great.

23. Becca’s lab is bomb AF

24. BOB MORLEY DESERVES A FUCKING EMMY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

25. “Take me home.” 

BECAUSE EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME ARKADIA AND THE SKY PEOPLE ARE STILL OCTAVIA’S HOME BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE BELLAMY IS (or so she thinks) AND HELLO YES I’M STILL EMO

Ego - Part 2

Pairing: Sorta T.O.P x Reader. It’s implied. Subtext.

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,486

Warnings: Smut-adjacent, angst, feelings, and.. people being dumb.

Author’s Note: I had an idea. I ran with it. And I will continue running with it. 

Listening to Doom Dada by T.O.P (one of my favorites)

Previous Parts: Part 1

Here’s my masterlist.. but it’s mostly Supernatural

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Namjoon - Dope Series

You were a semi-successful photographer, moving into this luxurious apartment, and he worked the day shift, operating the building’s only elevator. 

Genre: Fluff | Smut
Members:  Namjoon x Reader
Word count: 5250


Masterlist

Seokjin | Yoongi | Hoseok | Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Jungkook

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Early Morning Wake Up.

My mouth knew no limits.

It could be one in the morning and I could be chatting away on the phone with as much energy as if I had just woken up an hour ago especially when it was my best friend calling. Leading different lives may have had us living in separate cities but there was always one thing to keep us together, as if we still lived right next to each other and that was our daily phone conversations.

“Ahh, I cannot wait until the bachelorette party! I’ve been planning like crazy. I even bought a little journal to record my ideas in.”

It was only 7 in the morning so I was still in bed, my back against the headboard and the bottom half of my body still covered by the comforters and Roman’s lifeless hand draped over my waist as he snored into his pillow next to me.

That was often how I woke up. We may have went to sleep not touching each other at all and separated into our own sides of the bed but by the time I woke up, my husband was clenching on to me in some form or fashion whether it was draping his arm over me, cuddling me close to his chest or resting his head on my chest or stomach.

Roman liked to complain that the left side of the bed was his even though it was the spot I claimed so maybe that was why he spent so much time encroaching on my side.

With him still clinging to me, I managed to reach over to my nightstand without disturbing his sleep, grabbing for the small leather journal I had been using to plot down my ideas for my best friend’s celebration.

“First idea: strippers. I’m thinking they should come in these like elaborate costumes. Probably not policemen because that’s so expected. What about if they wore kits? I mean…considering your husband-to-be is a player.”

“No way,” she giggled. “He would kill me if one, he found out I had strippers at my party and two, if he found out I used them to imitate him. Nuh uh. And I’m sure he’s not going to have half-naked women at his little shindig wearing blazers and pencil skirts to look like me.”

“You never know. The office look is hot to men. Not that I would know personally,” I added though smirking to myself silently.

I actually knew firsthand considering how many times Roman had spoken a dirty compliment into my ear when I got off work wearing exactly that. Needless to say those clothes didn’t stay on too long after that.

I could hear the sound of my friend imitating a puke on the other line before saying, “Okay. Gross. Please do not lead me that deeply into your love life. I don’t want to envision Ro…okay, nevermind. New subject but while we’re on that subject, I found the perfect lingerie set to wear for my honeymoon. It’s black, it’s sexy, it’s me. He’s going to love it.”

“Ahhh!! I need pictures. Did you buy it?”

It seemed my burst of enthusiasm was too much as my husband began to stir next to me, raising his head from his pillow to give a dirty glare in my direction and though he said nothing I knew exactly what the look meant.

“Sorry,” I mouthed back. “Won’t happen again.”

He didn’t respond with a thank you but rather buried his face back into the pillow and turned his head in the opposite direction though his arm still remained over me.

“Okay. I’m back,” I whispered into the phone. “Now did you buy it?”

“Of course I did. I tucked it somewhere deep in my closet and warned him not to go snooping.”

“That guy is way too curious to not go looking for it.”

She laughed. “Well if he does he just won’t be surprised on our honeymoon. I do want to get a few more though. That’s a lot of days in Hawaii which means a lot of sex and…”

“Okay. Mental image, remember?”

Soon the image of my best friend’s fiancé came to mind and all I could picture was his dorky smile, a dorky smile she had fell in love with but all it did was make me burst into laughter.

Loud laughter.

Roman gave me that look again though this time parting his lips to warn me, “It is 7 in the morning. Most normal people are sleep right now and you two are on the phone giggling like children. I just need two more hours of sleep. Please.”

“I—“ My statement was broken by him grabbing for the phone in my hand and making the decision for me. “She will call you back later. When the rest of the world is awake.”

I couldn’t hear what was said on the other line but Roman chuckled before uttering a goodbye and hanging up the device for me, putting it on the stand next to his side of the bed rather than where I could easily reach it.

“Now…” He pulled me down to lay next to him, wrapping his arms around me tightly to restrict me from moving anywhere or getting up. “I think it’s time you enjoy a nice two hour nap with me, hm?”

“You don’t think two hours is a bit long? We’re laying here wasting the day away,” I joked.

“No. In fact it’s really short.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond as he placed a finger to my lips. “Bedtime.”

I could only shake my head and smile to myself before resting against him, feeling the comfort of his warm body next to me and knowing that in this position I would knock out in five minutes at the most even if I wasn’t all that tired.

We didn’t get much time to enjoy that silence or the warmth of each other’s bodies as the familiar sound of baby cries rang out. Roman groaned in my ear before releasing his hold on me and throwing the covers off of his body. “I’ll get him.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, not bothering to cover his shirtless top as he began to make his way to our son’s bedroom next to ours. “You owe me two hours of sleep.”

“I love you!” I shouted after him. He only responded with, “You owe me two hours of sleep,” before disappearing out of the room.

“Gosh, I love that man,” I sighed aloud to myself.

hunger - chapter 5

Hunger master post. 


The wolf’s boy is cautious for the next few days. He avoids contact with people, even the drunks he usually asks for change, afraid that any one of them might turn him in to the authorities. He also keeps his distance from the deputies who frequent the diner. He no longer walks by their cars, the blade of his knife digging into the paint.

The wolf is glad.

The boy’s recklessness has taken a back foot for once, and no longer feeds his anger in the same hot bursts it did. Anger, wild and misdirected, is dangerous.

 The wolf is not as glad when the boy’s newfound cautiousness manifests itself in a sort of quiet moroseness that has them trekking into the Preserve to stand and stare at the remains of the Hale house. Death accompanies them, her face pale and solemn. The wolf can feel her breath fluttering his whiskers and the sensitive tufts around his ears. He can hear her voice on the chill wind.

The wolf does not approach the house, even when his boy does.

Stiles is a thin, narrow figure, his breath rising like mist around him as he carefully treads back and forth on the blackened porch. The boards creak and groan under his scant weight. If it weren’t for the noise, he would look as insubstantial as a wraith. The house is a fitting place to find one. The wolf is surprised there aren’t more ghosts here, mouths open in silent screams, rolling eyes turned toward him.

Why, Derek? Why? How could you?

The wolf does not approach the house.

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what happened after (spoilers for 12.23)

They stayed at the little house rented by one James Novak for not more than three days, before Dean couldn’t stand looking at the wings seared into the ground anymore.
Sam drove them - Dean, himself, and Jack - back to the bunker. The kid - Lucifer’s kid, Dean kept having to remind himself - slept in the back, as Dean gazed out the window at the countryside flying past them. Hell if he knew how or why Jack was sleeping, but he supposed even the spawn of an archangel had to catch some Zs sometimes.
It was silent in the Impala, apart from the wheels rolling over the pavement, eating up miles as they left the little house behind. It had been almost silent for days, with the two brothers occasionally exchanging words about things that were so horribly, unbelievably mundane that Dean could almost pretend everything was normal - but they weren’t. Even though Cas’ old, beat up pickup truck still stood in front of that tiny house, even though his body still wore the same trench coat and tie that he was so attached to, even though the mixtape Dean had made him still weighed down the pocket of his old trenchcoat - everything was different. When they finally reached the bunker, it was with a shock that Dean remembered the bodies that laid in pools of half-congealed blood, the chairs that still sat across from each other, the rubble and dust that still clogged the hallway. “Heading to bed,” was the only thing he mumbled, before thumping off down the corridor and down the stairs to the hallway where the bedrooms were lined up neatly, all so similar to each other, it was a wonder they never got them mixed up. He knew Sam must have shot him some sort of dirty look, leaving him to take care of Jack like that; and Dean felt badly, he truly did, but it was buried under so many layers of grief and numbness that he wasn’t sure he could process anything other than that. The air was still in the hallway, and again, silence reigned. The muffled sounds of Jack and Sam talking were easy to tune out, and before he could help himself, he was stopping at a door that was not his own. He pushed open the wooden door, and flicked on the light. It was like any other unclaimed room in the bunker - but it wasn’t unclaimed, it was CAS’ room. The bed was unslept in, the sheets immaculate, there was no sign anyone had ever stepped foot there before, but - But. But it was Cas’ room. It was something Dean prayed would keep him there, keep him safe (although he would never admit it, even to himself). An anchor, of sorts -something to keep Cas close, because Dean knew he wasn’t good enough to keep him there on his own. Dean stood in the doorway for one heartbeat, two, three - and then he did something he would never forgive himself for. “Cas?” He said quietly, his voice rough from going unused. “Cas, man I- I’m so sorry. Cas, wherever you are, I hope -” he stopped, eyes burning. “I hope you know that I forgive you. For every messed up thing that has happened since you pulled me out of hell - I forgive you. It’s not worth a damn thing anymore, if it ever was worth anything at all, but - I do.” And Dean turned around, flicked the light switch off, and closed the door behind him.

Cars [a Barry Allen AU]

Request: 50S BARRY, LIKE GREASER BARRY

a/n: DANNY ZUKO UP IN HERE, jk. Its short


Fixing his car is all Barry does. He goes out sometimes with his friends but most of the time, he’s getting his hands dirty. Like right now. The sound of Elvis bounces off the walls of the garage and he whistles along with the tune. The radio scratches a little but it doesn’t really bother him; he’s too focused on the car.

“Ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time…” Barry hums along with Elvis, tightening a bolt; eyes scrunched in concentration. A line of grease covers his white t-shirt sleeve and he lets out a huff, bending his legs to propel the scooter underneath him forward.

He stands up, dusting his hands on his blue jeans that sit above his hips. His black and white converse scuff against the dirty concrete floor, kicking around the sandy dust. “You ain’t never caught a rabbit… and you ain’t no friend of mine!” he sings out, whipping his head around as he pulls the door of the car open.

Turning the key, the engine sputters, making a nasty sound then dying. Barry sighs, hand running through his hair. He falls on the leather seat dramatically, ass up in the air while his feet stay firmly planted on the floor. “Still working on the car, I see.” he hears from behind him, causing him to peer over his shoulder.

He crawls out of the car, hitting his head in the process. “Ow.” he mumbles, spinning around to see you; your light blue dress hangs at your ankles and you pull your sweater on your shoulders. “Well, I couldn’t find ya, so I thought I’d work on ‘er some more. Almost got ’er workin’ again.” he sighs, leaning his arms on the hood of the beat up car.

You shake your head, reaching up to his slicked brown hair, pushing it back. Geez, he always has so much grease in it. You glance around, listening to the music play. “Now you have me and Elvis to keep you company.” you smile, setting your books on the car.

A smile blossoms on his face and he wraps his arms around your waist, hoisting you up. His feet move carefully to the hood of the old car, still holding you to his chest, and he leans back, placing your ass on the metal. “Mmm, I do love your company…” he smirks, pecking your lips sweetly, hands on either side of you.

“I know you do.” you grin.

Home At Last

Pairing: Malec
Words: 2,567
Song while writing: First Time He Kissed A Boy - Kadie Elder
A/N: Idea that popped into my head - Alec’s been gone on a mission for a while and comes home to his wonderful man and his two babes. Malec!family - sorry if it sucks and sorry for the sucky title, Im no good at titles, hope you like it! :D


Alec’s shoulders ached as he, Clary, Jace and Izzy came back to the Institute after a month and a few weeks of being in Europe for a mission. They never got far distance missions for so long before, it had felt weird and uncomfortable. Signs of demons had been popping up all over London, growing more and more with each passing day and eventually the London Institute had called for backup. And of course the Lightwoods were always known for being the best. They never turned down a fight.

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Who He’s Not pt.2 [Oh Sehun Scenario]

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Y’all should probably read part 1 first \^.^/
Summary: After having dated Sehun for a while you move in together but that decision quickly changes your life.
Pairing: Sehun x Reader (You)
Type: Dramatic, angsty, mafia kinda feels
Word Count: 1078
——————————————————————————————-

You groaned as you turned on the hard surface, head pounding like a bongo drum and you felt the strong need to rub it except there was one problem…you couldn’t, your eyes shot wide open as soon as you realized you lost the ability to move your limbs and you tried sitting up but lord knows how difficult that is when your hands can’t follow you. Panic immediately flowed through your body because it was dark where you were, you sensed danger and that only made your panic and anxiety worse.

Once your eyes and mind were able to register your surroundings and what was happening you had come to the conclusion that you are indeed tied up, I guess that easily explains the itchy feeling coming from your wrists. Your eyes began to well up, vision blinded by the sudden flow of your tears

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Rough Hands [Fallout 4 PiperxF!SS]

The Sole Survivor is based off @lenbow‘s design which can be found hyah

I am so gay 4 the pipes

It was a little space of down time, the settlements were running well, nobody needed her and Blue deserved some time off after the last run in with the raider gang. Her wounds hadn’t been bad, per se, but they had been enough to give her difficulty.

And so, in her old house which Blue had steadily been building up, beds pushed together, rugs piled in a corner for Dogmeat, the generator humming outside. A few flags had been hung up over the window, thick enough to not let anyone see in but thin enough to allow in the natural light. With the door locked, Piper had managed to convince Blue to shed her armour. And so, there they were, curled into each other and completely naked, both wrapped in blankets and flags for warmth against the chill night air.

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any long sterek married fics

For sure! We’ve got these fics for you! 

And I might have decided that werewolf married counts as married. jsyk. Also, fiancés count. Angsty and I checked. Also, Mail-Order Brides (Husbands?) totally count.

Somnus Interruptus by KaliopeShipsIt

19,448  I  Family Feels, post-Mpreg
Teen and Up  I  part of the Alliteration-Verse series
Derek and Stiles’ almost four months old twins make a pact with the Colic-Demon and sleep has never sounded like a better idea in the Hale-Stilinski house.

JAN 2: CREATURE FEATURE by zosofi

20,121  I  Actor!Stiles
Explicit  I   part of the Supernormal series
At any given moment, Stiles’s life is ninety-three percent more likely to become a horror movie cliche than the average twenty-eight year old actor.
A sequel to Just Act Normal, requested by Chaosdragon as part of the Wolf Pack Charity Project.

The Greatest Outcome. by tearsandholdme

25,119  I  MPreg
Mature  I  part of the The Beginning and The End. series
Six years ago they met in a chance encounter that would change both of their lives for the better. Now they’re happily married, two children, and two on the way, and now have to deal with the reality of their lives. For better or for worse they’re in it together no matter what the cost.

A Sour Wolf’s Guide to Life, The Universe, and Dirty Diapers by Renmackree

25,338  I  5/5  I  Magical Stiles
Mature  I  part of the World-Line Series series
Derek Hale finally got his shit together. Finally got Stiles, got the house, got the kids.
But that’s just the first of many, many stories.

we knew the hands of the devil by grimm

27,929  I  Kidnapping
Explicit
Derek will never forget the sound Stiles makes when the alphas take him.
It’s small, so soft a human never would have caught it, but to Derek it’s as loud as cannon fire; a quick, panicked intake of air that’s not a shout, not a scream. It’s desperate and frightened and almost Derek’s name and it hurts him to the core. Derek roars as Kali lifts Stiles off the bed, the boy struggling against her hold like an oversized doll come to life. Derek fights against the twins, red mist boiling in his vision, fury and terror pumping through his veins.
“Say goodbye, Derek,” Kali says softly, triumphantly. “You’ll never see him again.”

airplanes by thepsychicclam

31,384  I  Family Feels
Explicit
Stiles gets offered a research opportunity that requires him to travel for weeks at a time. To say that they’re not dealing with it very well may be a huge understatement. But Derek’s trying to be a supportive husband while keeping his two kids from driving him insane.

Practically 7th heaven by ChaelzChaelz

31,488  I  13/?  I  Domestic Fluff
Teen and Up
It’s like one day Stiles and Derek blinked and all of a sudden were married with children. Now they’ve got the pack and work and four kids (what?) ranging from a toddler to teenagers (WHAT?!?) to deal with. And you know what? They couldn’t be happier.

Uncertain Guardian by Trenchcoat Hunter (Reedt)

34,408  I  13/?  I  AU-Werewolves are known
Teen and Up  I  part of the One Who Stands Against series
The sizzle of meat almost covered up the whisper as Aiden asked, “Dad, do you really think it’s them?”
Stiles stopped his ministrations for a moment before turning to his teenaged son. “What do your noses say?”
Ethan looked up from the cutting board. “It smells like them.”
Liam wiped his forearm across his forehead. “At least how they smelled from years ago.”
Stiles turned back to the stove, but his sons could see how his shoulders were tense. “I think it’s them. I can’t ever forget. I still have nightmares about them.”
His sons could hear the rise in Stiles’ heartbeat as Ethan set the knife down. “What are we going to do? Derek’s invited them to stay. He can’t really just turn them away now.”
Stiles turned and sighed, bracing himself against the counter. “We’ll serve them dinner and hope they decide I’m not worth killing.”

These Four Walls by pandabomb

38,890  I  4/4  I  PTSD, Mail-Order Human
Mature
“Is your place a mess? Do you wish you had someone to take care of you and cater to your needs? Then reach us online at www.human4you.com. Your human companion awaits!”
In a world controlled by werewolves, lone alpha Derek Hale buys a mail-order human.
(3 chapters + side-chapter)

Together We Build by KouriArashi

40,737  I  9/?  I  AU-Werewolves are known
Mature  I  part of The Searching Ceremonies series
Everything has settled down after the last Searching Ceremony. Stiles decides to tackle a cold case that his father gives him - a 10 year old murder caused by a rejected werewolf bite. Meanwhile, Derek is trying to solve an even bigger mystery - what’s going on between Uncle Peter and Sheriff Stilinski, and how much does he have to worry about it?

wolfies by thepsychicclam

42,196  I  Domestic
Explicit
Derek and Stiles try to deal with their rambunctious 3 year old werecub and 16 month old who may not be a werewolf. As if parenting wasn’t hard enough, Derek won’t stop angsting because Evie isn’t showing any signs of shifting. If Stiles makes it to the end of the year without a breakdown, it’ll be a miracle.

Happy anniversary baby by devilscut

61,551  I  9/9  I  Genderswap, Temporary Girl!Stiles
Explicit
Stiles and Derek have been together for a long time now. Seven years in total, the last four of them happily married. Everything should be perfect.. successful careers, pack and family, a home together but Stiles wants more. Has started talking about kids and adoption.. and Derek’s scared. Scared because his inner wolf is insisting that the only child it will accept is one of their own.. of their blood, their dna. The tension that this has caused has Derek doubting his mate’s fidelity particularly when he starts to scent another female on Stiles. On this day of all days will Derek lose everything he’s ever wanted or will Stiles surprise him as per usual.
Happy anniversary Derek and Stiles.

Figuring it Out by bastillewolves

101,652  I  11/11  I  Homophobia, Cancer
Not Rated  I  part 2 of this series (it is recommended you read part 1)
Stiles and Derek have had a great ten years of marriage. They started a family, they have a large house, they are fiscally okay, and everything is perfect. Or so they thought. As their daughter starts feeling the effects of the moon, she finds out more about Stiles and Derek’s past, they soon get blasted with the the news that they didn’t expect and everything turns from bad to worse.
A sequel to the story “We’re Just Broken”
*Author’s Note: if you haven’t read “We’re Just Broken”, I highly suggest you read it to better understand the story

The Vanishing Proposal by thelionmutters

130,212  I  33/33  I  Amnesiac Derek, AU-Human
Mature
Stiles and Talia Hale wait for Derek to return from work. Except Derek doesn’t make it back to them.

I hope you enjoy these! If anyone has any additions, y’all know what to do!

Love and internet hugs,

Fluffy Wolf

Tony DiNozzo - Spanking w/1

requested by @itty-bitty-baby-face


·         It started off as a joke

·         When you two were in the mood you would smack the other’s ass.

·         That was till you came home drunk one night.

o   “Where have you been?”

o   “I was out being a bad girl special agent.”

o   “Really?”

o   “Yep and I think you should punish me.”

·         You had woken up with a sore bum and a headache.

o   “What happened last night?”

o   “You had me spank you.”

o   “Then you must have dirty talked too.”

o   “I said something along the lines of, move your hands to the side, I want to hear your moans.”

o   “Hmm, sounds like a hot night, wish I could remember it.”

“Well we never got to the encore.”

Originally posted by kissooff

blacklaicint  asked:

You are seriously blowing my mind with these stories, I am falling in love with all these new pairings so, so hard. Maybe some NSFW Predaking/Ratchet? Just how Predaking talks about Ratch is melting my heart. ;-; Loveee it

Hay, hay, sorry this took so long… life got in the way… again… Hope you like…

recomend reading this first for setting X

smutty sticky goodness so… dirty things under the line… enjoy… 

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Author: You guys, I know I haven’t written much this past year, and a lot of people keep sending me nice messages to update stories or write anything at all, but I’m slow at finishing, so here’s a bit of an incomplete story to tide you over.

Summary: In which England wants to dirty talk and America is denser than a pit full of wet sand.

“Talk dirty to me.”

America let out a shout of alarm, followed by a string of curses. He furrowed his brow, his tongue licking his lips in concentration as he angled his video game controller higher at the television screen. He was certain one day it would help him beat this son of a bitch (TeddyBearJim12, who he maintained wasn’t really a twelve year old child for the sake of his manhood, thank you very much) who he constantly challenged on his Xbox.

Shit – What’d you say, England? I couldn’t hear you very – Ah, son of a – That was a cheap shot!” America yelled, squeezing his cordless phone to his shoulder.

“I said, talk dirty to me, America,” England patiently reiterated. Even all the way across the ocean, England maintained he would be able to hear America’s loud, obnoxious voice, regardless if he was talking to him with a phone or just reading the morning paper. However grating America’s voice could be, though, when it was coming out of that sweet little mouth of his in the right instances, England found it to be quite exhilarating. Sometimes he just needed to nudge the topic of conversation in the right direction.

America continued to fight off a barrage of bullets before answering. “What? Why would you want me to do that?”

England smiled and gave a shrug of his own, making himself very comfortable on his couch by the fireplace, enjoying the warmth it emitted. “I’m sure even you could take an educated guess.”

America raised an eyebrow, allowing some of his attention to partially go to this random conversation instead of the important task at hand. Seriously, no Hello when he answered the phone? Pfft. Rude. “Uhh, your cable went out.”

England paused, placing his cheek in his palm and letting out a slow breath. “Try again.”

“You need a reason to take a shower and use that new lilac shampoo you said you got on Facebook.”

England pursed his lips, a little frustrated. He didn’t think he’d really have to walk America through something like this. For Heaven sake, if he knew the boy was going to be this dense, he would’ve just used Let’s have phone sex as his opening line. They rarely got to see each other, after all, and England had had a particularly rough week at work. Allowing himself to daydream a moment on the Tube about his last visit to America’s place made his mouth go dry and a sudden urge to call him sprung to life, causing him to briskly jog home all hot and bothered.

It was a good thing he knew of America’s all-nighters with video games or he would have had another frustrating night tossing beneath the sheets, sleepless, but for an entirely more unpleasant reason.

“The reason doesn’t matter,” England said, choosing to take the high road and direct the subject back to the more important topic. “Just talk dirty to me, won’t you?”

America hummed to himself, trying to wrap his mind around England’s request. He was acting pretty strange, but what the hell. If that was all he wanted. “If you say so.”

England sat up, skin tingling and head buzzing as he waited for America to start speaking. He smiled, already feeling the warm wave of excitement wash over him with the thought of America agreeing to this so easily. He assumed he’d have to badger him, and by then it would be too awkward to be enjoyable. What could he say? The possibilities were near endless.

“Pig.”

There was a long pause, England’s mouth opening in questioning, but no words coming out. Well, that was a strange start.

“A big group of pigs, and they’re all crusty. Like, they never left this huge pile of mud and doo-doo. And all these pigs just start running in it to go eat their slop and garbage, ‘cause the farmer’s too lazy to pay for premium pig chow–”

“What the bloody hell was that?” England blurted, cutting off America’s senseless rambling.

“What?” America responded, laughing when he managed to shoot that pesky sniper in the face.

“I said I wanted you to talk dirty to me, not discuss the happenings on a third world farm,” said England, running a disturbed palm down his face.

“Not what you were looking for, huh?”

England only had to reiterate one thing to make his point. “Doo-doo?”

America grinned. “Okay, okay.”

England sighed and leaned back into his chair, attempting to relax once more. He ran his hand down his thigh and lightly brushed some lint from his pant leg. “From the top, then.”

“Alright. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.”

“That’s the whole point of this exercise.”

“Whatever you say.” America waited until he could hear only the soft sounds of England’s breaths into the receiver. He pictured England just sitting there with his eyes closed, waiting for America to say whatever the hell he wanted him to say. Well, if he wanted something dirty…

“A hospital. And it’s totally not a clean one either. There are bacteria and the doctors don’t even try to clean their tools or anything after they treat their patients. Even the proctology gloves get reused. You’ve never seen anything so covered in germs; it literally makes you want to get into a disinfecting shower and just go crazy with a certain flowery shampoo. I mean, this place is just so,” he stopped, whispering the last part with emphasis, “dirty.”

The line was silent, save for the sound of shooting coming from his television speakers. America wasn’t sure England was even still on the line after a long time until a groan met his ears. “What? Still not dirty enough?”

“Christ, lad … I don’t even know how you lost your virginity,” England complained, burying his face in his hand and shaking his head. America snickered into the phone.

“Well, duh. You were there, genius.”

“I suppose one of us has to be one, and it clearly isn’t you,” England muttered under his breath, frowning at the wall. Okay, perhaps he just needed to go about this differently. “America, forget dirty. Never mind about that. I want you to tell me something bad that you’ve done.”

“Bad?”

“Yes, like naughty. Tell me something naughty.”

“Ohh, I get what you’re saying,” America said, grinning and nodding. England smirked on his end of the phone, a ray of hope forming inside his chest. America just needed the right sort of nudging. All of those communication classes they took over the years apparently weren’t a waste of time. “I think I know what you want to hear.”