that last one just kills me

anonymous asked:

hhHHHH THE HARRY POTTER AU THING BRO BRO I WANT A GAME SO BAD cause like even if it wasn't Dan and Phil this offers a really neat perspective on the whole issue that's actually super interesting? buT THE LAST FRAME WITH DAN AND PHIL DUDE HOLY SHIT I LOVE IT

As a child who imagined herself being one of Harry’s classmates while reading the books I’ve always been struck by how helpless and kept in the dark literally everybody else was? Especially those students who didn’t have parents in the Order? The other Muggle-borns? Like, we just want to have proper education but no, teachers and students are Petrified and tortured and killed every year and oh I guess we’re fighting a war now. 

And that was basically what inspired me to do this AU.

parallels in Hamilton that DESTROYED me when I realized them
  • “Eliza!” / “And her eyes are just/(helpless)/and I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time.”
    • As Angelica’s thoughts shift from her own feelings to her sister’s, her words (“eyes,” “realize,” “I”) start to aurally evoke the name Eliza. How crazy is that?
    • cf. “…and my time’s up/wise up/eyes up…” “rise up/rise up/rise up/Eliza!” Just goes to show how similarly Alexander and Angelica think and process. Which leads me to my next point…
  • "He will never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied” / “That would be enough.”
    • It illustrates so clearly the dynamics of the Alexander/Angelica/Eliza triangle.
  • “I made every mistake.” / “You did everything just right.”
  • “There’s a lake I know/in a nearby park/you and I can go/when the night gets dark.” / “See them walking in the park/long after dark/taking in the sights of the city.”
    • THIS ONE KILLED ME. I only realized today. Eliza finally gets what she wanted, but in the worst possible way.
  • “Raise a glass to freedom.” (Laurens) / “Raise a glass to freedom.” (Hamilton)
    • GUYS????? WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT HAMILTON’S LAST WORDS ARE HIM QUOTING JOHN LAURENS FROM THEIR YOUNG, IDEALISTIC REVOLUTIONARY DAYS? LAURENS, WHO DIED 22 YEARS BEFORE? I’m not even a big Lams fan, but if that’s not a love story–

tl;dr: Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius. Give him all the awards.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

EDITED TO INCLUDE LINK TO PART 2: [x]

How to Snag Potter

By Draco Malfoy


1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead. 

2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall

3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it. 

4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.

5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.

6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.

7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?

8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.

9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.

10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.

11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.

12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner. 

14. Invite him for drinks. 

15. Buy him a birthday present. 

16. Kiss him. 

17. Go back to his flat. 

18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.

19. Attempt to make him breakfast.

20. Come out to the Prophet together.

21. Date for three years.

22. Say “yes.”

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

6

Misawa day theme: Development

Miyuki and Sawamura relationship development

anonymous asked:

psst hey ur headcanons are the best,,, mind if i have some general shenanigans with the space fam??

here’re your shenanigans pal

  • lance, running into the common room, tripping, crashing into the doorframe: “we’re the space equivalent of the brooklyn nine nine
  • coran has had his paladin outfit ready for hundreds of years
    • not because he thinks he’ll ever get to be one or anything! he knows perfectly well that the paladin and lion bond is a very special thing, but you know, just in case something ever happens to someone-
    • *alfor voice* “can you please stop killing us off in these scenarios”
  • “any last words paladin?” “yeah vrepit suck my-”
  • one time allura shapeshifts herself round ears out of curiosity and she legit gags
  • keith: “shiro asked me to lead voltron” hunk: “but… i called head next??”
  • shiro can’t touch his toes
    • lance is. so excited when he hears this
    • lance, putting his leg behind his head: “it’s okay shiro no one’s good at everything”
  • “we lost pidge” “…how did you lose pidge” “okay first of all? give us a break she’s like two inches tall”
4

So @hushowl did such a great job on illustrating the “love potion all over BH’s face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” scene ( https://hushowl.tumblr.com/post/160988191199/screeches-they-updated-irrisistable ) from one of the cutest freaking shit on the internet ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/10974198/chapters/24435012 ) named “Irresistible”, wirtten by amazing @gayblackhat . I just couldn’t resist and draw the rest of this precious gay moment.
Oh my, oh my. The returning of my fuckboi-looking BH, am I right?

ps. If you’re curious, in the first frame Demencia sorta tries to turn Flug towards her and punch the shit out of him ( probably because they were fighting all over this potion and Demencia is practically a lot stronger than Flug, so he would pass after one good shot ) but freezes after what they both saw.

ps2 It’s 2am here!! KILL ME!!!

ps3 I just saw that little typo I made in the last pannel. Fuck this. Just read the original fic. Maybe I’ll change that later…
4

“do you still hate me? my brother got all of our parents’ attention and love…

he was superior! but god’s fair. and you couldn’t inherit that from him because… he was being punished for his sins… you’re the product of that. serves them right.

yeah… serves them right…”  

100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

"What? It's perfectly acceptable for me to have body parts on my person that aren't mine!"

In a recent homebrew game with friends and my boyfriend we were just about to finish a battle against four Half-Orcs. There was one left with 14 health and I was the only one close enough for an easy shot. (Boyfriend was a Dragonborn, and our friends were a Halfling, an Elf, and a Gnome respectively. I was a Shaman)

Me: I’m just gonna go ahead and hit it with my greataxe. 

DM: Alright, roll d20 for your accuracy.

*rolls nat 20*

DM: *goes silent* Alright…roll for strength then.

*rolls 15*

Me: Plus my strength bonus I’m hitting him for 19.

DM: *tosses dice then sighs* I’m not even gonna bother with a saving throw. You kill the last orc. No, you don’t just kill it you fucking behead the poor thing and his body just falls to the forest floor with a dull thunk, and ichor starts pooling around the upper body as the head bounces a few feet away before rolling to a stop. 

Me: Wait, did I cut his head clean off? *makes a motion with my hand*

DM: Yes.

Me: *grins* Can I take his head as a trophy?

DM: *pauses and just kinda stares for a second* Fuck it, sure, you now have a trophy.

BF(ooc): Really? Fucking really?

Me(also ooc): Yes. I’m a Shaman, I already have a skull pinning my fucking cloak to my shirt. Besides, now I have an intimidation item. *rest of the group sighs as our DM laughs*

Me(still ooc): What? It’s perfectly acceptable to have body parts on my person that aren’t mine.

7

There was also a really awesome match last night where yeah, my team lost (their team was frighteningly good okay) and we lost by a large enough margin that I didn’t even manage to get to the objective to have any objective time, but there was a Blackwatch Reyes on the other team. And I seriously got the impression that me and this other dude (each of us was the highest level person on our team) were just in our own little world trying to kill or one-up each other.

AND THEN. And then. He had to go and be a good sport about it so I can’t even get annoyed. Blargh.

(wherever you are, dude, I love you. GGWP.)

Fairy Tail 522-523 Gray and Gruvia Thoughts (Spoilers)

I debated whether or not to post my thoughts since I’m super tired. But since it’s quite a hard chapter for Gruvia shippers I decided to add my small cents. 

When I read the chapter I was pissed then very sad because I remember Gray promising Juvia an answer after the war, thus giving her and us hope, while knowing what his trump card was. This can easily be taken as a screw you to be honest. And that he never really was going to offer Juvia a future. I re-read these chapters tons of times and even went to read 453 again to find some solace. Why? Because Gray was shown genuinely happy when he was thanking Juvia. When he asked her to let him focus. There is no way Gray was leading a woman, who he knows loves him so much, to just be a jerk. Nope, that is not who Gray Fullbuster is. So then what the hell happened?

This happened:

Yup, this is true. He tried to kill his friends, both Juvia and Natsu. He also injured Erza when she tried to stop them. And if you’re questioning how this trauma has affected him well here you go:

He feels he has lost the right to be part of his family. For so long he has had the weight of those who sacrificed for him. He has felt unworthy and even tried to kill himself. But he decided against it for his loved ones. But this time he was the one causing the hurt. He was so pissed that he was willing to kill Natsu. He hurt Juvia physically even if it was against his will. It was his body, his mind that was controlled. And in his mind he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be with them and maybe even loved/cared for.  So what can he offer instead of the pain he feels his existence causes? Well he thinks its peace and for Natsu, his best friend, a chance to live:

If you look at his expression he is content because he truly believes what he is doing is for the best to protect his friends. This time he was going to go through with it because he found a way to save everybody while sparing the pain his sacrifice would cause. He loves his friends so much and seeing how he hurt them was the final straw:

Poor Gray, not so long ago he was telling Lyon how far he has grown to only be slapped with reality when tested. Gray might have beat Invel’s ass but the winner was Invel if you think about it. He messed with his mind enough to break him by going after two of his most precious people: Juvia and Natsu.

Back to 453, I think when Gray promised Juvia his answer he meant it. Yes he knew of his trump card but it was more of a last resort he didn’t think he had to use.  Here is the crunchyroll translation:

He says he has a secret plan. It could be his trump card or not.  Then he adds both Zeref and END. It seems to me he wanted to fight two enemies not just one. Unless his plan was to get them both in the same location to perform iced shell don’t know how he would have gone after the other if he was non-existent. Another interesting thing is Gray was set on destroying/killing not sealing. And as Zeref stated he wasn’t going to kill him; only temporary stop him. Another thing to consider, he was with Juvia up till the battle with Invel. Do you honestly think he would have kept/let Juvia by his side to watch him end his life. Nope, he isn’t cruel.

Again this seems more like Gray’s desperate measure to protect thanks to what he has gone through during the war. This wasn’t plan A. Just like Juvia who learned blood make. She learned it in case something were to happen to Gray. It was a last resort for her as this iced shell was for him:

This chapter tells me Gray is still in need of help. He needed Natsu punching and begging him to live. He needs someone to love him more than he does himself. But more importantly he needs someone to help him forgive himself. This is where Juvia will come in. She will be his rock just like when he cried on her. In case you haven’t noticed Juvia wasn’t anywhere near. Coincidence? Hecks no! Mashima purposely left her out for a reason. Gray could never hurt Juvia so for this angst to happen she needed to be out of the picture.  I doubt we’ll get Gruvia anytime soon but when we do it will be emotional.