pls pray for me, i tryied to kill myself today for the thrid time, but the rope undid the knot itself. I just cant keep going
it was unsuccessful because we need you here friend. there are people who need you, and your life matters. please reach out to those who can help you.
call 1-800-273-8255. there are people willing to help you get back onto your feet. life is rough but you can get through it. we will pray for you and I know we’re all here if you need to talk to someone!!!! you’re so loved!
Is it bad that I kinda ship Cruz and Jackson??? I feel like Jackson could have some major character development and Cruz just sees something in him?? Is it just me??
Nah, I wouldn’t say it’s bad. So many people ship those two, it’s practically the norm. I myself don’t ship it because every time I watch the movie, I’m just like “She is so sweet and he is such a dirt bag why would I or she or anyone ever like this guy” but then when I’m writing him I tend to do so as if I like him/ship him with her. So I dunno what’s going on, on my part.
Well, actually, I think part of it is that there’s a lot of his character left unexplored. We don’t get a whole bunch of backstory from the movie itself. That Storm Chasing book that I keep seeing clips of seems to align a lot more with what we as a fandom have talked about - that he’s the way he is because he had to overcome his own difficulties and that’s just how he deals. So I’d agree there’s hella room for character development.
Assuming you’re not the same person I talk to on occasion about this, it’s not just you that ships them because ‘Cruz sees something in him’ or something along the same lines. There’s probably a small army that would rally around this concept. But what does it matter? You ship who you wanna ship! As long as you don’t force it on anyone, we’re all cool here :)
You were feeling utterly tired, Thorin had kept you awake almost all night and you had no idea where he got that never-ending stamina. Yawning you made your way to your horse and pet him affectionately before you started to get him ready to go on the road. Kili came to stand next to you but didn´t say anything, just watched you little smirk slowly forming on his face. ”You look little tired. Did uncle keep you from sleeping last night?” The question itself was innocent enough but considering what had happened last night, it was far from innocent and you started to blush wondering if Kili had either heard you or even saw you. If that was the case you wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there for the rest of your life. ”I just had little hard time to falling to sleep after what Balin had told us.” you tried to keep your voice as calm and steady as possible as you answered him smiling sweetly to him. Kili chuckled and lifted an eyebrow. ”Hard indeed…that´s a quite accurate word for it.” Hearing that your face turned into crimson red and your jaw dropped almost to the ground. He didn´t…? No that´s not…He did! Covering your face with your hands you made a sound Kili couldn´t quite identify but it didn´t stop him to burst out laughing seeing your uncomfortable state. ”Relax Y/N…I´m not trying to humiliate you,” Kili spoke between his laughter and your respond to that was dropping your hands to your sides with a very skeptical expression on your face. You didn´t believe him for a second. Lifting his hands to the air he backed away still giggling making his way toward his brother who was already on his pony.
Groaning you hide your face to your horse´s mane when you heard a deep quiet chuckle behind you and you turned around seeing that Thorin was standing in front of you. ”What could possibly cause you to behave like this?” Thorin asked amusement evident in his tone of voice, his blue eyes looking at you with a mischievous twinkle in them. You rolled your eyes at that question like he didn´t know already. Thorin took two steps closing the gap between you and wrapped his arms around you. ”Don´t let them get to you. They´re young and they have yet a lot to learn,” Thorin whispered trailing your jawline with his lips and then pecked your lips a rare warm smile on his face. ”They´re not making it very easy,” you said quietly enjoying the warm feeling of his body against you. Thorin chuckled and shook his head a little. ”Of course they´re not. They are Durin´s folk, stubbornness is in their blood,” You couldn´t argue with that, dwarves were stubborn people but the line of Durin had mastered the art, they would earn a medal or something for that. Thorin pecked your lips one more time before letting you go and turned to his company. ”Alright, time to get moving,” Everyone got on to their ponies and Gandalf lead the group to the path that disappeared to the dense forest.
You were riding little further behind Thorin and Gandalf when Bilbo called you from behind Bifur. You pulled the reigns and slowed down waiting for Bilbo´s pony to catch up with you. ”Yes, Master Baggins?” you smiled and look Bilbo´s way to notice that he was blushing for some odd reason. ”Have you and Thorin known each other for long?”
You chuckled at that remembering how you and Thorin first met. It felt like a long time ago, from the moment you lay your eyes on him, the rocky start of your friendship before it became something more and finally when he asked your permission to court you. You smiled fondly at those memories and turned your gaze toward him. ”Yes, I have known him for awhile. Why do you ask?” you´re curious what is behind Bilbo´s question all of the sudden and the way he´s blushing it must be something rather embarrassing because he´s not voicing his thoughts.
”Just say what´s on your mind, no need to be coy,” you said laughing quietly.
”It´s just what Kili said this morning…” Bilbo murmured shyly avoiding your gaze and your face had never fallen so quickly or turned into the red as tomato so fast before. Damn that nephew of his you cursed inside your head as you tried to calm yourself down. ”What did he say?” you asked before you could bite your tongue. Your horse suddenly shaked his head and neighed like he was actually laughing at you and you glared at him for a minute. ”Don´t you start with me,” you warned your horse like he would understand what you were saying to him.
You noticed that Thorin turned on his pony and looked behind at you with a one-sided smirk on his face. You narrowed your eyes at him but he was unfazed by it and laughed softly with his deep tone that set your nerves on fire before he turned to look ahead again. ”Something about his uncle´s torrid night that prevented him to sleep properly,” Bilbo´s answer snapped your attention back to him faster than a speeding arrow. ”He what??” you said with high-pitched voice eyes wide open earning side glances from the others. You should have known, Kili was blabbering your night with Thorin to everyone and now you were feeling like finding a very deep cave and hide there because you were so embarrassed about it. But Thorin seemed like he was very proud of it and that everyone in the company seemed to know about your passionate night together. Sure, Balin had caught you two back at Bag-End but that was different because he didn´t announce it to everyone. Kili, on the other hand, made sure that everyone knew and you can´t stop to wonder why? Why Kili wanted the whole company to know what their leader was doing with his partner late at night?
”I´m sorry, I shouldn´t say that it´s just the way he said it made me wonder…” Bilbo hastily apologized looking mortified but you lifted your hand in the air making him stop middle of his sentence. ”No need to apologize, Kili is…being Kili if I´m honest. If he hears or sees something exciting he just can´t keep it to himself … you didn´t do anything wrong,” you sigh rubbing your face with one hand before looking at Bilbo and offering a little smile. Bilbo returned that smile and suddenly you two burst into laughter and a few dwarf turned to look at you two the way that spoke volumes, they were convinced that you had finally lost it.
Gandalf chuckled quietly making Thorin turn his gaze at the wizard curiously. ”What´s so funny?” Thorin asked with hushed tone and Gandalf took a side-glance at the king under the mountain before answering. ”It would seem that your younger nephew was on a mission to try and embarrass your beloved in front of the company but unfortunately to him, failed quite miserably,” wizard nodded his head toward Kili who was chatting with Bofur at the moment and by the looks of it Gandalf could guess what was the topic of their conversation. Thorin frowned hearing that but quickly pieced the puzzle together when he remembered how blushed your face was mere minutes ago. His face turned from confusion to anger when he realized that everyone´s chuckling behavior and side-glances toward you resulted from Kili´s storytelling what Thorin and you had been doing last night and the more Thorin thought about it, the more his anger started to fire up. He clenches his jaw focusing his blazing gaze forward silently thinking how to punish his nephew and how to talk to his company about this, because no matter what the reason, he isn´t allowing you to be the laughing stock of his men.
I’d like to take a moment to talk about Bill Skarsgård’s performance as Pennywise, and particularly the drain scene, as it’s the only one I can repeatedly watch a portion of in good quality to analyze his physicality in the role.
Because so much of his performance is made by his movements, even in the aforementioned scene where he’s just a talking head:
Cover up the eye on your right, and Pennywise is looking up out of the storm drain at Georgie. Cover the eye on your left, and where’s it looking? Right at you.
Pennywise’s eyes move independently like this throughout the movie, and it’s not a CGI effect. Skarsgård has a lazy eye and while he can focus it, he’s also able to relax the muscle and put it back out of alignment. And while having strabismus obviously isn’t a choice on Skarsgård’s part, he uses it brilliantly in this movie when he could have just not utilized it at all. You’d think having a wandering eye would make him seem less threatening (usually when you see lazy eyes on film, they’re on comedic actors such as Marty Feldman or Steve Buscemi). But he positions himself with the camera so perfectly, making his character seem like a threat who can see through the protection of the fourth wall. Even if you don’t consciously notice that it’s looking at you, it’s these little details Skarsgård adds that make Pennywise seem just wrong.
(His contorted bottom lip is another of these traits. That’s not a prosthetic like his cheeks are, it’s just something he does).
Because that’s the thing about Pennywise: It’s not an evil clown. It’s not human. It is alien and unfathomable and everything Skarsgård does with his performance reminds you of that. Tim Curry’s Pennywise (whom I love and this is not a knock on his take) was an evil clown who was also an otherworldly abomination. Skarsgård’s Pennywise is an extraterrestrial horror who is wearing a clown’s skin, and it doesn’t quite fit.
Just look at the sewer scene: You’re seeing an animal that just came out of hibernation and is so hungry for a meal that it can barely keep itself from revealing the ruse to its prey. It wants Georgie to trust it, like it, and approach it, and its voice is gentle (for it), and it’s funny and inviting. But it’s also drooling all over as if it doesn’t understand or doesn’t care how a human mouth works, and it doesn’t know or care how people focus their eyes either. It’s struggling to hold itself together and it’s very close to breaking: it growls at Georgie in the middle of the scene, and surely it’s learned in the last few centuries that humans don’t growl mid-conversation?
You could argue that it’s not failing to act human, it just needs Georgie to be scared to eat him. Fair enough, but Pennywise doesn’t reveal its true self until it’s already holding onto its meal in the book. And in the movie, it’s clearly anxious when it thinks it might have scared its prey away:
(The nerves don’t come out as well in the photo, but if you watch the shortened clip here, around 43 seconds in, it swallows hard and is obviously worried Georgie might leave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jwlbgSHZgk)
It’s unnerving. It makes you shudder even when it makes you laugh. And Skarsgård puts that much uneasiness into a scene showing just his head, shoulders, and occasionally his hand. In the scenes utilizing his whole body, it gets even more eerie.
It’s a fantastic performance. And even more so because some of these things were not entirely under
Skarsgård’s control: He couldn’t choose to have strabismus and the drooling was caused by his prosthetic teeth. But rather than trying to hide anything, he embraced it, and managed to make things as human as saliva and wandering eyes seem utterly monstrous.
I really hope the sequel gives Pennywise more dialogue and still scenes, because it’s a thousand times more disturbing there than it is when it’s darting at the camera.
So Rick used to worry about young Beth coming across a neighbor or a defenseless animal. At her request, he invented tons of creepy things to keep her busy, including Floopyland itself. One of the items he made for her was “a teddy bear with anatomically correct organs” or something along those lines.
Hey, who’s just now realizing Beth didn’t become a surgeon because she’s smart, she became a surgeon because she likes CUTTING THINGS OPEN AND PLAYING WITH THEIR INSIDES?
Lapis redesign because I dislike her canon one. Specifically because of the fact she doesn’t really have any shapes that really DEFINE her, like Garnet = Squares, Amethyst = Circles, Peridot = Triangles ect, I associated her with a water drop shape cause…. y’know w a t e r.
Also got rid of the horrid neon blue colors and gave her speckles of yellow, like the ACTUAL LAPIS LAZULI GEM HAS. Why didn’t she have any sort of yellow incorporated into her design in the first place.
What’s your opinion about all of the hate and shade that goes on between some of these YouTube communities?
It’s very sad. There’s a very toxic vibe on youtube in general lately. Lots of “I’m better than you” mentalities. Mainly drummed up by the youtubers themselves by filling their heads with “we’re the best community”. I miss when everyone appreciated each other.
Gonna try my best to keep this community a fun happy place to be that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not letting that negativity infect me or anyone else I care about :)
if you catch yourself getting discouraged, look at your old art. look at how much you’ve improved. look for the things you enjoy about your art. being able to appreciate your own growth is so important
you’re not in competition with anyone! there’s no rush. if you keep drawing, you’ll never stop getting better. don’t give up! keep having fun and doing your best no matter what anyone else says!
shoutout to “wheresthejump.com” for having a catalog of horror movie jumpscare times so that a coward such as myself can watch for the plot and the spooky monster design without my mind constantly preparing itself to keep my physical body from shitting itself
i actually contributed a list of jumpscares for “Uzumaki” myself and it was put up, so i feel like i really helped out a little tiny bit B^]