that just sounded so funny to me

anonymous asked:

So I saw a headline for SGT and it mentions it being really raunchy but then I'm reading through some fans interpretations of it and it's almost funny to me how mainstream will take it as a "raunchy party video" while the fans try to see the deeper meaning to it and really try to connect it to Zayn and everything he's been through. Hope I don't sound like I'm nitpicking. What are your thoughts on it?

Anonymous said:

hi sasha, how are you? hope you’re having a good day! 😘 was just wondering what do you think of sgt mv?            


Hi nonnie(s). I’m well, thanks for asking. I do see the video as a meditation on Zayn’s experiences. The biggest hint would be shooting the video at the Zerrie stunt house. Videos are staged and so was everything we saw from that house. Fiction on top of fiction. Clever.

I find it a statement on fame. He’s in the middle of the action, but still feeling disconnected because you’re often surrounded by people who are enamored with your fame and wealth, but not you the person. The booze, sex and weed are for sure the trappings of stardom. I think at times Zayn has felt like a spectator in his own life, rather than an active participant.

Also the monkey and the alligator pinged as a shout out to the 1D days as well as the overall wild party theme. 1D’s done all of that. Except now the gator is real (maybe a metaphor for the perils of their journey) instead of inflatable, the party is a lot more adult and Zayn is a lot more jaded. 

Remember the days when there wasn’t even a hand of color in the “Night Changes” video? And remember how 1DHQ tripped over themselves lying about why (It was an assistant! It was Sophia!)?? Now we’ve got a video full of POC. Progress. I appreciate the little victories.

balencia  asked:

Are the daily Sharing pamphlets in my mail some sort of revenge prank? If so, you got me. Still not joining, stop sending them unless you WANT me to quadruple the strength of my next prank. It'll still be harmless, just 4x annoying to deal with.

Oh no, that sounds so wasteful and isn’t funny at all. I don’t know who would have done that to you. Maybe you have a friend who subscribed you as a joke. Unfortunately, I’m not in the department that manages the subscription list, so you’ll have to contact them directly. I hope you’re recycling the pamphlets, at least.

- Heather

SKAM Family Love

Hey friends. Yesterday when the SKAMily accent challenge was going around I noticed quite a few comments from people that were deciding to do it or not saying “oh my voice is so annoying” or “i don’t have anything interesting to say”. It had me thinking about how much being self deprecating has become the norm in our society. I find especially for women. It not easy to ignore the many years of having mainstream media tell you what you should look like, be like, and sound like. I totally understand that. The funny thing is though whenever I’ve seen people post a selfie here or share a personal story about their life or record themselves rambling about Jonas (yup that was me) it’s 99% of the time met with so much love, admiration, and support. I definitely would not want to pressure anyone to share more than they’re comfortable with on Tumblr but whenever you’re second guessing hitting that post button just remember the amount of times you’ve put #beautiful or #totallyme on someone else’s post. Make sure to keep some of that admiration for yourself too. You deserve it just as much. ALT ER LOVE

So like I was rewatching the space mall episode-

-and my weaboo alarm started going off when I saw the space pirate outfits and!! It turns out that each of them has bits that reference different anime and reflect the personality/situation of the paladin wearing them and I’m cryindkfg LOOK

Pidge’s glasses are Kamina’s from Gurren Lagann. Kamina is an older brother character who uh inspires his (pseudo) sibling to travel to space and fight in a giant fucking fighting robot. And after Kamina dies, Kamina’s little brother ends up wearing his glasses (or a version of them, at least).

(*Matt voice* “believe in the me that believes in you, Katie”)

I’m actually willing to bet my entire firstborn child that Keith’s outfit is referencing Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, who, shit you not, starts out as a rival character from a planet of evil killer furries and then becomes a grumpy ally/friend to the heroes. He’s even crossing his arms just like him I’m so mad

I spent like an hour trying to figure out Hunk but then I realized: spiky shoulder pads, spike on head, apron (later on in ep). He’s Alphonse from Fullmetal Alchemist, aka a big, strong, compassionate kid who likes cute things, food, and hugs, and will kick your entire ass if you try to hurt anybody in front of him. Also Alphonse is a suit of armor, and Hunk’s lion is the most armored, like…

Lance’s little glasses and long coat are just like Vash’s from Trigun. And fucking. Vash is a fucking marksman who acts goofy but gets serious to help others / when in trouble and doesn’t understand the full extent of his abilities. Does any of this. Sound familiar at all.

I couldn’t figure out Coran’s (apparently I’m not that level of weeb yet) but if someone knows who he’s referencing please tell me so I can get mad about that too because I can’t believe I didn’t notice all of these fucking parallels the first time around what the fuck

dating advice: the “captain america” rule

Context: I grew up in a family of nerds, and superheroes were always a really big part of my childhood. Captain America was a favorite, and he kind of became my family’s standard for good behavior and just generally being a Nice Person. (If one of the kids started a fight they’d get hit with, “What would Captain America think of how you’re acting?”, stuff like that.)

So when I got to high school and started dating, my mom told me something that sounds funny but in retrospect actually turned out to be really good advice:

“Date someone who treats you the way Captain America would. Never settle for less.” 

And this has actually helped me so much in my dating life, through high school and into my adult years, because even if it’s a little silly, it’s been really helpful to have that standard in the back of my mind when I’m first going into a relationship. 

Would Captain America ignore my calls? Would Captain America forget my birthday? Would Captain America get mad at me for cancelling a date because a family emergency came up? If the answer is no, then I know that the person I’m currently dating does not meet my standards, and that I need to break things off before they get too serious.

And your standard absolutely does not have to be Captain America, specifically. It can be any person, male or female, real or fictional, who is known for being respectful and considerate. It can even be an imaginary “soulmate” that you make up yourself. The point is to have a specific idea of how you expect to be treated by your romantic partners, and to refuse to compromise or settle for less. (Just make sure you’re holding yourself to the same standards – you can’t expect to date superheroes if you’re going to treat your partners the way a supervillain would.) This is a really good way to keep yourself from falling into bad relationships where you aren’t treated with the respect and care you deserve.

TL;DR: You deserve to date people who are respectful and considerate of you. You deserve a Captain America. Don’t settle for less. 

Right to Left ples.

based on this post

““they” used in the singular sense just doesn’t sound/feel natural to me :/” buddy i just.. don’t care? like i genuinely don’t care how “weird” it feels to you? b/c it’s been going on forever, been used for ages. whether it feels natural to you or not, it.. is natural. it’s fine. it’s not weird. just say/use it & move on. you don’t have to turn this into a huge show of “haha! how weird! so weird! it’ll take me some time to adjust, b/c it’s so weird, to me! it sounds funny! haha” every single time you say it. like.. just use the word. don’t monologue about how you don’t understand it & how funny you think it is. no one cares, sincerely. not one single person

(As always, you can find all my fic recs in my FIC REC MASTERPOST) 

- The Edge of the Stars  , by @casuallyhl : Louis laughed. “You think you can convince some random guy to want to go out with me?”“Oh baby,” Jay chuckled. “I can convince all of the UK to want to go out with you.” Or, a Meet the Parents AU where Harry is the man of Louis’ dreams, and it’s up to Jay to convince him to date her son.

Larry TV Reality show AU (16k) : awesome fic for cheer you up when you’re sad, and perfect way to show how Louis and Jay relationship was amazing and beautiful. Cute and funny and fluffy :) No smut.

- just the sound of your voice  , by @a-writerwrites : It’s just. Harry’s so fucking quiet during sex and now Louis’ obsession with it is…it’s incessant.  Louis questions it day and night, the enigma of it buzzing around his head like an annoying mosquito — all of the reasons why he’s so quiet consuming every one of his waking thoughts.  Like, maybe he turns into an alien during sex if he’s not really careful?  So he has to concentrate so hard on not turning into another creature he’s effectively struck mute from it.  Or maybe…maybe he’s like one of those people who’s into tantric sex, like Sting or a throwback from the 1960s?  And when he’s about to orgasm he travels to another plane of existence or something.  There has to be a reason for it.  There has to be.

Larry smut fic (6.4k) : not saying I’m very proud that Lisa wrote something about my prompt, BUT IM VERY PROUD AND I LOOOOOVE IT VERY MUCH. So it’s all about dirty talk and a bit of rough sex, and yes, they kins of share that really.

- Love Is on The Radio , by @perfectdagger  and star_l:  “So Louis, who’s the lucky person that will not only get to see Arsenal and Manchester United facing each other, but will also possibly become your girlfriend… or boyfriend? I mean, that’s a good catch, to ask someone out like this on the radio. It will be hard to say no after this.”  “It’s, hm, his name is…” Oh boy, Harry was about to pass out, he couldn’t bear to hear what Louis would say. Susie was looking at him, worried eyes watching him from the till as she noticed that Harry had simply abandoned his cupcake duties. “Harry. Harry Styles.” To win a pair of tickets to watch Manchester United playing, Louis may have possibly lied to Nick Grimshaw on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, asking Harry, his best friend, to be his boyfriend. Problem is - Harry has always been in love with Louis and so, this Valentine’s he’s gonna see his dreams come true, with a tiny bit of a twist, in order to watch the football team they have loved together since they were kids.

Larry BFF to lovers and Fake Relationship AU (35k) : with a lot of social medias interactions, and Grimmy being cute ! Bottom Harry for the smut.

- Mercedes Boy , by @fullonlarrie : There’s a surprise waiting at home for Louis after he finishes his day on the tracks at the Mercedes AMG Driving Experience.

Larry canon smut (5k) : I mean : PANTIES AND CAR SEX. That’s all. (bottom Harry)

- Them Butterflies  , by @gaycousinlarry  : To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end.  This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again.

Larry strangers to Lovers and sexuality crisis AU (68k) : beautiful and really well written, barely angsty . Special kudos for social worker Harry just because. Great smut !  (mostly bottom Louis but they kind of share that)

- They Never Quite Leave   , by @icanhazzalou (sorry it doesn’t let me tag you properly!)  : When Liam Payne inherited his great aunt’s mansion, he never expected it to be haunted. With the help of famous ghost hunters Harry and Niall, Liam is hoping to evict the ghost and sell the house once and for all.There’s just one problem: Louis has been in that house for a hundred years, and he doesn’t much feel like leaving.Alternatively; come for the ghost sex, stay for the feels.

Larry Ghost AU (24k) : awesome , a bit angsty and also fluffy and cute, with a bit of Ghost sex (this is a thing, yes). :)

- Let’s Go Get Away , by @letsjustsee : When Louis had moved to the island a year ago, he only wanted two things: to serve good food to good people, and to live on the beach. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently the universe thought so, because Louis had only gotten three months of blissful, uninterrupted beach living before Harry Styles moved in to the empty shop next door. Louis was hoping whoever took over the space might be a tour guide, or even another restaurant (with non-competing menu options, of course), but no – he had gotten Harry Styles. The guy who wore Hawaiian dad-shirts unironically. The guy who spent his time making soap by hand out of goat’s milk.Or, a fluffy AU in which Louis owns a restaurant that’s next door to Harry’s shop, and Louis is completely unaware how smitten he really is.

Larry Hate to love AU (7k) : funny and cute, with so much fluff and kind of pining ;) No smut.

- Runner on Third , by @flamboyantommo: As Harry stood there, the other man turned around, and he knew he was correct in who he thought it was. “Louis?” he asked, still not quite believing it. Louis blinked. “Harry? Wh– what are you doing here?” “I work here,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?” “Um, I’m picking up my brother. The nurse called and said he was sick.” Harry felt like he was going to be sick. “Wait, Ernest is your brother? Since when do you have a brother?” “Since about seven years ago, I guess. Wait, how do you know Ernest?” “I’m his teacher.” “You’re his what?” Louis exclaimed. Harry gulped. This was going to be a long year. — Or, the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don’t pick up where they left off.

Larry Ex Friends to Lovers AU (35k) : nice fic with Teacher Harry, a “long time no see” plot, and so much pining ^^ Great Smut too ! (bottom Louis)

Heart on the Line (part 4)

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: buckysbackpackbuckle
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1433
warnings: phone sex

Keep reading

Another 100 Random RP Starters

- does include some swearing; feel free to edit when sending in an ask to fit character’s speech

  • “No. No, no, no. Don’t you dare try to pin the blame on me.”
  • “Did you even bother to think about the consequences?”
  • “Listen here you useless paperclip!”
  • “Meerkats are murderous little bastards.”
  • “For the record, I hate everything.”
  • “Do you even remember me?”
  • “Did you know the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes may have killed a man?”
  • “I’m going to join NASA and fling myself into the sun.”
  • “I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
  • “Please don’t. Just… don’t.”

Keep reading

Take a Chance

The gifset of Dean giving himself that little pep talk from 7x04 inspired me to write this. Dean x Reader, Dean’s POV. Hope you like :)

For fuck’s sake, Dean, you’ve done this a thousand times. You can charm a woman without even breaking a sweat. Why are you so damn nervous?

Because, dumbass, it’s Y/N. This time it’s not some random bar chick that I’ll probably never lay eyes on again. And I don’t want to mess things up. I don’t want to do something that’ll make everything all awkward.

I just want… I just want to be with her. Whatever that means. And I don’t even know how to say that without making things all fucking weird.

Just tell her the truth. Well, the surface truth. Say you’re bored. Take a chance.

She doesn’t need to know you hate being in a separate room from her, that you miss being around her. That you feel not all there when she’s not around, like a piece is missing. That you’re dying to touch her. Like really touch her.

Okay. Here’s her door. Just heard a noise, so you know she’s awake. So knock already.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

A very well known dangerous male yautja arbiter goes to earth to hunt and accidentally befriends a 4 yo girl. She uses him like a coloring book, practices using nail polish on him, braids his "dreadlocks" but everyone just thinks she's talking about her imaginary friend. "Mommy I made a friend today! " "Oh really honey? Thanks nice ." "Yeah! His head touches the top of my room! His skin is pretty colors! His hair is funny but pretty, and his face is really cool!" "He sounds like fun baby"

Ps the little girl names him “Mr. crabby” because the way he talks sounds like grunting to her

THIS WAS REALLY CUTE TO IMAGINE AND CHEERED ME UP SO I DID SOME DOODLES ASDFGHJ THANK U FOR THIS

Jack Maynard Imagine - Parents know best

You opened your eyes, taking a few minutes to let them adjust to the sunlight. Lately, falling asleep while on car rides had become a common thing for you. You looked right to see Jack with his eyes fixed on the road, oblivious to the fact that you had woken up.

You yawned and rubbed your eyes before feeling a hand on your leg “Slept well?” he asked, as he looked briefly at you before giving you a small smile.

“Not bad” you said, looking at the GPS and seeing that you were twenty minutes away from Brighton.

Your best friend Jack had convinced - dragged - you to go to Brighton with him for the weekend. All your other close friends in London were back in their hometowns visiting their families, so you had nothing better to do. You weren’t in the mood to spend a whole weekend at home by yourself, anyway.

You had met Jack’s sister, Anna, before. A few months ago, she had stayed at Jack and Conor’s new apartment for the weekend, and the two of you immediately clicked. She reminded you so much of Jack, it was unreal. His parents, however, were a mystery to you. Conor couldn’t go with you, so at least you hoped Anna wasn’t away at a friend’s house or something: spending the weekend with Jack and his parents would just be too awkward.

But you thought you didn’t have reasons to be nervous about it. You weren’t Jack’s girlfriend, and you didn’t need to pass any kind of test to get his parents’ approval. Yet, it seemed to you as if you were slowly driving to death.

“Is Anna at home?” you eventually asked Jack, who was taking a sip of his fizzy drink.

“Yeah, I believe so” he answered “Why’d you ask?”

You shrugged “Just wanted to see her” you said, which wasn’t exactly a total lie. At least you knew there would be five of you.

Eventually, you pulled into Jack’s parents’ driveway, and you took a long while to admire the outside of his house. It reminded you so much of your own, you kind of wished your parents hadn’t booked that last-minute trip to Spain so you could visit them instead. However, when a young girl exited the house and walked towards your car, a bright smile on her face, your homesickness went away rather quickly.

“Y/N!” she called you as you opened the door to give her a hug. She wrapped her arms around your torso as you rested your chin on her head, a sudden smell of freshly washed hair hitting your nose.

“How are you, girl?” you asked her, mimicking the contagious smile on her face.

“I have so many things to tell you” she said excitedly, and you gave her that look girls gave each other when a juicy topic was about to come up. She nodded, as if she had read your mind, and you laughed.

“Hello Jack, my beloved and ridiculously hot brother, it’s nice to see you too” Jack said, imitating Anna’s voice, as he walked towards you with two bags on his hands.

Anna laughed and went to give her brother a hug “I’ve missed you as well, dickhead” the girl said. Jack rolled his eyes, but kissed the top of her head afterwards. You took your bag from his hands and walked into the Maynard household.

His parents turned out to be more than delighted with your presence. They confessed having watched your YouTube videos, and having burst out laughing more than once. The feeling of awkwardness you thought you’d have earlier, vanished as soon as they both pulled you into a hug.

Jack turned out to be the embarrassed one. As soon as you went upstairs to Anna’s bedroom for a quick catch-up, both of his parents had gone up to him, a suspicious smile on their faces.

“What?” Jack chuckled as he looked up at them from the sofa, his cat purring as he stroked her side.

“We really like Y/N” his mum said, taking a seat next to him. He already knew something was up. He gave them a look “I mean, we already liked her when we saw her on your videos, but she’s even nicer in person”

“Yeah…” Jack said, suspiciously. He let out another nervous laugh “Where are you going with his?” The silly smile on his face couldn’t go away. Whenever someone talked about you, his features immediately softened, and his lips curved up in a not so subtle smile.

“We are just saying” his dad spoke, his hands inside his pockets. Jack could tell he was nervous, because Conor did the exact same thing when something was on his mind “That she’s a really good influence for you. She seems sweet and down-to-eart, that’s all”

The cat jumped off the sofa, making Jack cross his arms “I’m…I’m glad you like her” Jack felt uncomfortable. Although you weren’t his girlfriend, you were the first girl Jack had ever brought home, friends and all. His parents were rather surprised when they saw you two got along so well, remaining just friends up to that day. Because for them, it was so obvious that their little boy had more than friendly feelings towards you, and they were surprised he hadn’t made a move yet.

“We do” his mum said, nodding happily “So, does she have a boyfriend or something?” she asked, trying to sound cool and casual, but she failed.

“Mum, I know where you’re going” Jack said, not being able to supress a laugh “Just drop it”

She gave her husband a knowing look. He nodded “Jack” he said “It’s fine if you like her, buddy. Your mum and I started off as good friends as well, it’s okay to admit it”

Jack’s heart skipped a beat, and he stood up abruptly “I’m going for a walk” he said, ready to leave, when his dad grabbed his arm “Buddy” his voice was friendly, yet firm. Jack stopped on his tracks.

He didn’t want to talk about it with his parents. Y/N was the first girl he had ever fallen for, and he was scared. He was sure that if he kept telling himself that he didn’t lilke her like that, his feelings would go away. But love didn’t work like that.

He turned his head to look at his parents, and after a long silence, he spoke again “I’m afraid I’d hurt her if I tell her” it came out as rather a whisper, but  his parents heard him perfectly.

His mum immediately pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back “Don’t be silly, Jack, please” she said, feeling the sadness on her son’s voice “Don’t you see how happy you make her?”

“I make her happy as a friend” Jack kept his voice low in case Anna and you decided to come downstairs “I’ve never had a girlfriend, I’m not good with feelings, I-”

“But there must be a reason why you like this girl so much, more than any other” his dad interrupted him. 

At that moment, Jack didn’t stop to think. He poured his feelings right there, in front of his parents, in a way he thought he’d never be able to do “I love how she’s so laid-back and crazy, yet she knows when to be serious” he blurted out “She’s also really funny, there has not been a day she hasn’t made me laugh. She’s sensible, and she takes care of me when I’m sick, which happens like, every day” he chuckled. His eyes were fixed on the floor “I don’t know, I just think I don’t deserve her, like, I’d just break her heart because I’m a fucking idiot”

“You don’t sound like an idiot when you talk about her” his mum said, grabbing his hand “Jack, the fact that you’ve never cared about a girl enough to stick with her doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to do it”

“In fact, you’ve done it already” his father added.

“Do you really think you’d hurt her?” his mum asked him “Because Conor told me not long ago that you almost got into a fist fight with a random guy at a club because he was all over her” 

Jack frowned “He told you?”

“It doesn’t matter, baby” his mum said, shaking her head “What matters is you look after her, and that’s no behaviour for someone who’d only hurt her if he’s with her”

Jack stayed silent for a moment, then nodded his head. His eyes were fixed on the floor again, too embarrassed by the topic to look at his parents “I like taking care of her” he said, almost whispering “And I’ve never felt that before for anyone”

His dad went up to him and clapped his back. There was no denying Jack was growing up, and his parents were glad it was because of such a lovely, kind-hearted girl “Why don’t you take her out for dinner tonight?” he suggested.

Suddenly, Anna and you irrumpted into the room, stopping abruptly at the sight of Jack with his parents “Did we interrupt something?” Anna asked, as she wasn’t used to see her brother looking so puppy-like. Soft eyes were uncommon for Jack, or so she thought.

“No, it’s fine, sweetheart” her mum said, smiling brightly at both of you “We were just catching up”

“We were as well” Anna said, turning her head to look at you. She winked “I was just about to ask Y/N when she was marrying Jack” she joked, making you blush.

“Anna, don’t be rude” her dad said, but he couldn’t deny he was amused by the situation. 

“It’s not like we were gonna invite you anyway” Jack spoke, putting an arm casually around your shoulders. He was back to his own sassy self again. Anna stuck her tongue at her brother before following her parents’ track to the kitchen area.

You then felt Jack’s lips pressed against the side of your head, a huge comfort speading inside your body. You loved when he did that “Wanna go out for dinner tonight?” he asked you, catching you off-guard “Just you and me”

You looked up at him, a small smile forming on your lips “Sounds great”

Anna entered the living room again, coughing as she walked past you “Wedding” she said after fakingly clearing her voice. Jack extended an arm to push her, and she ran away, laughing uncontrollably. 

“You’re not allowed to be the godmother to our children either” 

“And they’ll be bloody gorgeous” you added, making Jack push you  playfully as well. 

“They’ll just be weird if you’re their mum” Jack joked.

“You’ll love them anyways” you teased back.

“I love anything that has to do with you” he said, pulling you in for a hug.

“You’re stupid” you said, your head resting on his pounding chest.

“Shut up, Mrs. Maynard”

“What makes you think I’m taking your last name?”

“You love me way too much?” you hit him again. He grabbed your hands and put them around his neck. He planted a soft kiss on the tip of your nose

You smiled softly, still not used to all the things that boy made you feel “Maybe I do”

the Glenn Howerton went to Julliard thing is even…funnier when you have context to it. Like thousands of people each year want to go to the school and have to go through a long process to even get an audition. to get in they have to perform two monologues and sometimes are asked to perform up to seven. they end up only taking about 20 people each year which is such a small number. While they’re studying at the school they are put through face to face group criticisms where all of the teachers tell them what they’re doing wrong etc. They take all of these classical acting classes, voice classes, movement classes, even a classical clowning class. When Glenn was there people were cut each semester if they weren’t performing well enough. It sounds like such a brutal process day in and day out. Most graduates end up doing theatre or getting serious film roles.

But Glenn deadass graduated from one of the greatest (and most brutal) acting schools in the world and has spent the past 12 years writing and acting in Sunny of ALL things. And that’s not to mention that 80s Show and Coffeetown??? It’s just so funny to me? He spent four years studying under world renowned acting and performing experts, alongside some of the most respected theatre and film actors working today, and spends his life playing Dennis Reynolds and writing this dark comedy that’s set in a seedy bar in Philadelphia? It’s hilarious and so…Glenn?

“Ted... ever wonder why some words are funnier than others?”

Ted the Animator: “…no?”

Carl the Animator: “Like, take ‘mule deer.’ Why are mule deer funnier than most other animals?”

Ted the Animator: “Are they really, though?”

Carl the Animator: “Yes! I’ve done a lot of mule deer thinking, lately.”

Ted the Animator: “…that’s a sentence you don’t hear every day.”

Carl the Animator: “Take a look at one. Visually, at best, they’re just marginally-funnier than a regular deer… but the phrase ‘mule deer’? That puts it over the top.”

Ted the Animator: “I’m not sold. Give me an example.”

Carl the Animator: “Well, let’s say someone is advertising hot sauce. Saying it’s ‘hot enough to kill a deer?’ Not funny.”

Ted the Animator: “Nope. Not at all.”

Carl the Animator: “Now, ‘hot enough to kill a mule deer?

Ted the Animator: “…that’s kinda funny. Wait, why is that funny?”

Carl the Animator: “I KNOW, RIGHT?!”

Ted the Animator: “…after googling them, you find phrases like ‘1000+ images about mule deer on Pinterest,’ and somehow that’s so bizarre it’s definitely funny.”

Carl the Animator: “Now, try ‘2017 mule deer calendar.’”

Ted the Animator: “…it might just be because it’s really late at night… but that’s freakin’ hilarious to me right now.”

Carl the Animator: “’Mule deer’ just gets funnier the more times you say it.”

Ted the Animator: “Is it because it’s so specific? A combination of words you hear independently, but almost never together?”

Carl the Animator: “I’m still tryin’ to analyze it all. There are also inherently-funny single words, like ‘Popemobile.’”

Ted the Animator: “That’s juxtaposition, alright. Combine the pious-sounding word “Pope’ and the silly suffix ‘-mobile,’ and you get instant comedy.” 

Carl the Animator:And, it doesn’t hurt that the Popemobile always looks ridiculous, too.”

Ted the Animator: “Phrases like ‘potato juice’ use juxtaposition similarly.”

Carl the Animator: “…ewwwwwwwwwwww.”

Ted the Animator: “Gross, certainly… but that moment when your brain processes that yes, it is in fact a real thing you could theoretically acquire, triggers humor responses.”

Carl the Animator: “…of course, we are forgetting what is quite possibly the funniest phrase known to man.”

Ted the Animator: “Hold that thought, I’m on my last swig of coffee.”

Carl the Animator:…cat diaper.

Ted the Animator: *spittake*

Carl the Animator: “Sorry. I had to.”

Ted the Animator: “…you’re the worst, and cat diapers are the worst, and I’d scowl at you but my mouth hurts from smiling too much.”

Carl the Animator: “That’s the magic of mule deer and cat diapers, Ted.”

Culture Shock part 2 (Jungkook angst)

I’m terrified that this is the last time I’ll ever see you.

Originally posted by imaginesbts

Part one Part three Part four

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: Angst


Jungkook,

I hope this letter finds its way to you. I know it’s a little weird and out of the blue, but I’m visiting Seoul and I saw you. What are the chances? The one person that I was scared to run into and I saw you in a restaurant with your girlfriend.

Keep reading

Pick Me Up

Originally posted by jaesbum

REQUESTED: university JB comes by and picks you up by the library late at night… and one thing leads to another…

Reader (you) x Jaebum

Word Count: 1439

Warnings: suggestive

note: here you go, anon! to answer your question sent through your request (who’s my bias?) mark tuan haha. i’m such a sucker for mark but jaebum tho… anyways happy reading everyone and take care! -admin


As a university student, your life was mostly occupied by studying but that wasn’t always the case. Your friends invited you to parties and sometimes you would join them, just have some fun and forget about your classes. Other times, you would turn them down and spent time with a close friend of yours, Youngjae. You would choose Youngjae over any party because of how close you two were. Youngjae majored in music and planned to be a music therapist in the future to spread his love for music. Whenever you two hung out, it’ll usually be somewhere in the music wing where he composed his own songs. And you didn’t mind spending your time in the wing because of someone in particular that you’ve taken interest in.

His name was Jaebum and one of the most handsome guy on campus. His reputation was a chic and cold guy but Youngjae told you he wasn’t anything like that. It was one day where you and Youngjae sat in the cafeteria, eating lunch peacefully, until Jaebum sat down next to Youngjae. Shocked, you wondered why Jaebum would sit with Youngjae until you figured out that he made music as well and he was exceptionally good at it. Whenever Youngjae made music, Jaebum would occasionally join him and you weren’t complaining. The man was an attractive producer and an amazing artist.

You two quickly became friends but deep down inside of you, you wanted something more. Once you told your friends about Jaebum, they were beyond jealous that you were friends with the hottest guy on campus. But you kind of brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal since you didn’t have time to worry about guys when exams were coming up. Hence why you spent the next two weeks in the library, stuffing your face in your books. Late nights were a regular thing and the weather got cold outside. You would always complain to Youngjae how cold it was whenever you exited the library late at night. And somehow, your complaints were heard by Jaebum.

The night was cold and dark when you left the library after a day of hardcore studying. You had wished you brought a thicker jacket just to fight the freezing weather. Plus, the bus didn’t run late at night so you were stuck walking home. You grabbed your bag and books and started to head outside the library until someone caught your attention. Jaebum stood outside with his hands in his pocket, his leather jacket matching the color of the night. Whenever he let out a breath, you could see the clouded condensation in the air and his facial expression shivering in the cold. You were shocked by the fact that Jaebum was standing outside of the library since he was rarely seen at this place. You started to question his actions and asked why wouldn’t he stand inside if he was that cold. Either way, you were beyond delighted to see him.

“Jaebum!” You called him as you exited the building, the cold hitting your body.

“Ah, (Y/N), you’re still here?” Jaebum asked, trying to act cool when it was obvious that he was freezing.

“Yeah,” You breathed out, “I’m just about to go home. Why are you here?”

“I was, um, close by and I just thought I’d come by to pick you up since, uh, I heard you were studying late and you know, I don’t want you walking home in the cold which might get you sick before your exam and, uh, yeah.” Jaebum rambled while rocking back and forth on his heels. You giggled under your breath and thought of how adorable Jaebum looked when he was rambling. It was obvious he was making an excuse and you found it funny how he was covering up his feelings.

“So you were close by and you came to pick me up?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sounds about right to me.” Jaebum smiled, his eyes shining in the street light.

“Whatever you say.” You shook your head and smacked Jaebum in the chest. Just the thought of Jaebum picking you up sounded like boyfriend material for you. But when Jaebum grabbed your arm and dragged you towards his car, it made your heart race and your face flush red in the cold. You wanted to tell him how you felt but was only afraid to ruin the friendship you two had.

“Sit in the back seat for a bit, I need to clean the passenger seat first.” Jaebum stated as he opened the door for you. You plopped yourself down inside the warm car and rubbed your hands together. You watched as Jaebum frantically cleaned out his car, throwing out the trash he had at the front. Soon, Jaebum joined you in the back seat, closing the doors of his car and rubbing his knees for warmth.

“What are you doing?” You asked, looking at Jaebum in the dark.

“I’m cold, let the driver warm up first.” Jaebum breathed out.

“You know that girl who hangs around the music wing everyday? I heard she likes you. You should hit her up sometime.” You stated, trying to make a conversation with him. Even though you liked him, you always had a habit of setting Jaebum up with a girl other than you. You thought that you weren’t good enough for him, hence why you set up Jaebum with other girls. But deep down inside, it hurt and you didn’t know why you did this to yourself.

“No, I have another girl in mind.” Jaebum sighed, leaning back on the seat.

“What?” You squeaked. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I’ll tell you now if you come closer to me.” Jaebum said, signalling you to come closer to him. You scooched your body closer to him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in.

“To be honest, I lied to you.” Jaebum whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You heart started to race because of the intimate contact you two were having. But you weren’t complaining since you liked how close he was to you.

“I wasn’t close by or anything,” Jaebum softy said in your ear as he placed his hands on your waist, pushing you down so that your laid back on the seat, “I just wanted to pick you up to see your face.”

“My face?” You gasped, getting slightly hot as Jaebum’s thumb swiped your bottom lip. In the dark, you could see Jaebum lick his lips before hovering on top of you, his lips dangerously close to yours.

“Your beautiful face.” He breathed out. “And your soft lips.”

With that, he connected your lips with his. His lips were warm and tasted of mint; he had obviously been chewing gum earlier. His hands were placed on your waist and you locked your arms around his neck pulling him down slightly. The kiss was hot, fiery, passionate and, demanding, something you were waiting for since the day you met Jaebum. He pressed his tongue to the seam of your lips and, at your grant of access, delved inside your mouth. Jaebum broke away, after a few moments, and took of his jacket along with your as well. The heat shared between you two was enough to keep you warm.

Soon, you felt a hot breath on your neck, then the tender brush of lips. Burning as they make contact with your neck. Jaebum’s hand ran through your hair, as the kisses become harder and more urgent. He snaked his arms around your waist and pulled your closer to him, your body colliding with his. You leaned your head back and let out a soft moan, enjoying the work Jaebum was doing to your neck, hitting all the sweet spots.

“Jaebum, please.” You moaned as Jaebum’s hands wandered down your body, his lips still attached to your neck. After leaving a slight bruise on your neck, he pushed you down back onto the back seat and took off his shirt. Leaning up towards the front of the car, he pulled out his phone and connected it to the sound system. The r&b music Jaebum listened to blasted in the car as Jaebum locked all the doors.

“So no one could hear your screams.” Jaebum smirked in the dark as he grabbed the hem of your jeans and fiddled around with the button. You bit your finger and flashed a smirk at Jaebum, knowing full on well where this was going. And there was no turning back.


part two

City lights.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: All these years together, and you had to fall in love before he goes.

Warnings: Angst

Words: 5022

A/N: Real life is taking away the best of me. So I needed to write, even though my brain doesn’t let me. Have fun with this little story. I also recommend you guys to listen to this before or while reading it for a major effect.

A special thanks to Jade (@brighterlights ) for being my beta reader, who has spent a valuable amount of time helping me with my grammar mistakes and poor phrasing. Thank you so much for being this awesome and kind, I appreciate you tons.♥ 


Originally posted by heartsnmagic

It was one of those unusual nights where cold beers end up losing their freshness after being left on the coffee table for way too long. Those nights that remain unnoticed on the electricity bill at the end of the month. Those nights when the alarm sounds, you’re already awake. Yes, they were exceptional nights. But so typical when he was involved in them.

His presence in your life was sporadic, but his memory was splattered all around you. You had pictures, stolen hoodies, his old dog tags, and diaries saved in a tiny box hidden under your bed. He even said once that your place was the best for him to hide his heart because nobody would search for it outside the battlefield.

Keep reading

person : nct 127’s fire truck was a mess

me : your insults personally offends me, they are pitiful at best. I, for one, thought you could forge something more decent, something more–refined. But with such rebuttals coming from a person whose username is longer than their brain capacity; an illiterate bum; and a bigot who has a loss of vision (probably cataracts, you poor thing), then I suppose my expectations were far too high. There, that is how an insult is supposed to sound: Ah but wait, it wouldn’t be complete without a smiley, so let me add that in :)