In honor of Fandom Fic Rec Days (today through the twelfth), I wanted to give a more in-depth assessment of some of my favorite fics and why you should read them, too. So many words that I put it under the cut.
Also, if you haven’t read the space between, you might want to do that. It’s a fluffy little extra that might make you happy before reading this insanity.
All my love to all the people who have drawn fanart for me. You have seriously made my day and I smile like an idiot for HOURS. I swear. <3
ALL MY LOVE TO KATE daughterofthestars08 for betaing this chapter for me AND for the little surprise at the end. I <3 KATE. This chapter is a monster and I finally splitted it up because it seemed like it was NEVER GOING TO END.
I posted it now because I’m getting my wisdom teeth out later and I’ll probably be high on painkillers and won’t actually function on the computer. (Or I might start highblogging. Who knows.)
was settling into the crowded living room as usual. Alya stepped out of the
kitchen, holding several bowls filled with delicious snacks.
31 Days of Final Fantasy - Day 14: Favorite Cutscene
Every gamer has that one scene that had a tremendous impact on your life. It’s that one scene that will never fail to make you cry no matter how many times you see that scene over and over again. Seeing this scene well over 30 times and being reduced to tears as I did today while screen capping in order to make this post, the Final Fantasy X Ending Cutscene is the one cutscene out of any game that I have ever played in my life that turns me into an utter mess. I remember that I stared at the screen after it ended, numbed by the emotions that overtook my entire being that had accumulated from the magical experience I had with Final Fantasy X that had changed me forever. I remember that I kept crying for a total of 5 hours because it was the first time that a scene – and a game for that matter, had affected me so deeply.
Tidus and Yuna are the Final Fantasy couple that take first place in my heart, and seeing them have to part in such a tragic way rendered me heartbroken and crying into the palms of my hands. Not to mention that I had actually seen this ending before playing the game out of curiosity, and I still could not stop the tears from falling as I could not stop Tidus from disappearing no matter how much I wished I could. Final Fantasy X is not just a game to me, but a personal treasure that saved me during a time that I had no passion or drive for anything in life. It taught me how to love. I grew to love the entire cast as if they were my own family. I felt their happiness and their pain on this life-changing journey, and I felt Yuna’s pain as she watched Tidus leave.
It always gets to me how Tidus only said, “Goodbye” because he did not want to make it harder for anyone, including himself. His last words were that farewell along with an apology to Yuna for not being able to show her Zanarkand. The first part of the scene is set to make you cry, and it won its goal for it made me cry pretty damn hard from when Yuna runs to be in Tidus’ arms, only to fall to the ground because he was already fading. The Ending Theme playing in the background makes this scene even more tragic because it’s such a beautiful and heartbreaking masterpiece and each time that you listen to it, you’re bound to remember this ending.
The scene entirely embodies the relationship of Tidus and Yuna. It was selfless, no words were really needed to express their profound love for each other, and it displayed how both of them had transformed. Yuna found something she loved and had a passion for, and she chased after him because she didn’t want to let him go. She changed from just accepting what life threw at her and the circumstances she was given into someone who possessed the determination to pursue her own dreams and bring about change with her own hands. Tidus grew from a somewhat spoiled and childish boy into a man who placed his loved ones before himself and said his farewells until the very end when there was no time left. And at the very end, he overcomes the difficulties he had with his father and gives him a high-five, reflecting how he matured.
And then the scene after that makes all fans’ hearts break, with Yuna whistling on the docks because Tidus told her, “Just whistle and I’ll come running. I promise.” She then proceeds to tell all of Spira the victory that has been accomplished, but does not forget to ask them to honor the sacrifices that were made to get to where they are now. She does not, and will not forget the man who gave himself up to save all of Spira. While all of Spira may not know of his existence and the sacrifices he made for them, Yuna and her companions know. They know of Tidus, star player of the Zanarkand Abes, who embarked with them on a journey to defeat Sin despite knowing along the way that it would bring about his end. She remembers him while smiling up at the sky because of the strength and happiness that he brought into her life, for that was the best way to honor the great person that he was.
“Just one more thing. The people and the friends that we have lost…or the dreams that have faded…never forget them.”
Hi Pear! You are so amazing and helpful and I'm hoping you could offer me some advice. How to you get motivated to write when you really don't feel up to writing? I try to write something every day, but some days I am emotionally drained and I just want to scroll through tumblr instead of writing even a few lines. I like writing, just some days i feel I can't. Do you have any wisdom to offer me? Thank you so much for taking the time to answer this and for being great :)
Hi there, Anon, come on in and get comfortable. I have some very important, very special advice to give you today. It’s some advice that we writers never hear except whispered about covertly, like a guilty pleasure no one wants to admit. We don’t hear it from our family, who always wants to see the fruits of our hard labors; we don’t hear it from the publishing world, who always wants to see our growth in the market; we don’t hear it from our readers, who always want to hear the justification behind a release delay; we don’t hear it from the most prolific writers in the field, who are always somehow capable of working non-stop. They are the ideal; they are who you’re supposed to be striving to become! Then, those who produce somewhat slower are somehow viewed as being less. What poppycock. Come here, Anon, and listen close:
Do you hear me? It’s okay. You’re okay. The pace at which you write is okay. The days when your energy is too low to slog yourself to your computer’s word processor are okay. The times when you can’t be bothered despite knowing you should are okay. The moments when you don’t write? They’re okay, too.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I just announced Singers of Sand and Sea yesterday, right? Okay, but I wrote that in December. I gave it as a gift on New Year’s, and then I told myself I would work on the climax (which I felt was too neat and not quite satisfying though acceptable) throughout January and post it February 1st to my personal writing blog. But then January hit me in the face with a lot of things, not the least of which was very low writing energy and will. Now, I pride myself on some pretty amazing will power. (My favorite Libbs can back me up here.) Do you know when I put together the climax of that piece? First off, I didn’t remember I was going to post it until February 1st at 4:30 pm, already about two-four hours after when I would have liked to have posted it. Then I got home from work, ate something, and worked on it until I finished at 6:54 pm–in time to post it at 7 pm when that blog regularly queues its daily posts. But what does this mean for you?
It means you’re not alone.
Your low energy days do not make you any less of a writer. You are welcome to take a few days to relax and recharge yourself and enjoy other outlets. You are not required to write every single day to be able to check off that “writer” box. I’m right there with you, Anon.
There are some things you can try, though, when you’re feeling just too guilty about it to let it go. My little story about Singers illustrates one of these things:
Find what motivates you. Think about any classes you’ve taken and papers you’ve written. What made you do that homework on time? Was it the deadline that motivated you? Was it not wanting to fail? Was it that you didn’t want to disappoint a teacher or professor? Was it something more personal like wanting to actually finish something, even if it was just five math problems? Was it a promise you made to yourself (or someone else made to you), like a slice of pie in exchange for the completed paper? What was it that made you do the thing in the end? Harness that. Make an artificial version of whatever that is. For me, deadlines work. For me, it’s as simple as saying, “By Friday, you will have this scene hashed out.” And if it’s something that I really care about, something that’s right up on the list of my priorities, it’ll happen.
Make it a priority. It doesn’t have to be a tippy-top priority–that should always be you and your physical and mental health. Don’t beat yourself up because you couldn’t finish something you’d wanted to because your anxiety was sky-high and your focus nonexistent. It happens. Let it go, set your new goal/motivator, and try again. On the note of priorities, in 2015 I read an abysmal total of 9 books. Upon reflection, I realized that I had shifted my priorities throughout the years from reading to writing and video games (as my stress reliever). I’ve made a concerted effort to change that, to rearrange it, and so far in January I read 5 books–more than halfway to last year’s entire total. Priorities are malleable! You can change them! They’re not set in stone! Make writing your go-to-choice when you’re feeling well physically and mentally, and you’ll be more likely to put words on the page.
Set limits. They can be time or length or patience limits, whatever kind of limit you need to make writing not feel like it’s demanding all this weight and attention from you. Set a timer for a length of time you feel you have. Devote yourself to a page and a half. Gauge how many shits you have, then determine to only write as long as there are still shits to give. Writing doesn’t have to take all of your time; it doesn’t even have to take a majority of your time each day. Find that balance between being able to rouse yourself to do it and feeding yourself and your health.
Do it. This is the worst. In the end, there is no cure-all for lethargy and lack of shits. It’s up to you to develop in whatever way works best for you. Maybe that’s weekly or monthly goals instead of daily goals, giving yourself permission to relax. Maybe it’s keeping that notebook, document, or website open in the background to remind you. Maybe it’s a blog that you set a schedule for and resolve to stick to it as best your mental health can afford (hello, this blog is right in the middle of this category). There’s nothing that can make you write except you, so learn how best to help yourself stick to goals and achieve them. It’s a skill you’ll use all your life in various venues, so nurture it and learn how you work best, then go for it.
Here’s a tip: Let’s start a tradition, right here, right now. Find a jar, box, or any container you like. Every time you feel like this, or you feel guilty about not writing that day, write a love letter to yourself. Keep them in the container. These days you decide to take to yourself are important, but if you can’t stand them, take a moment and let yourself know how much you do.
I wish you all the best, Anon. Please know that you are not devaluing yourself or your writing or your ideas or your ambitions or anything else by not writing when you don’t feel up to it. Take care of yourself, and if that means taking a day to scroll around Tumblr, by all means, friend. Be kind to yourself. You’re not alone. I’m right there alongside you with my head on the desk, flopping around like a squid. -Pear