that is totally the common room

What if a lot of alien species didn’t actually evolve as pack species, and just adapted to living in communities out of necessity? So they can still work and live together, but they don’t have all the little instincts humans have that help them work in a group.

And they are freaked out by us.

We all wear the same clothes. It’s not a uniform— we just somehow all seem to like roughly the same outfits. We fit in so naturally with the people around us that you can use a human’s clothing to tell what country and what time period they are from. Aliens have no idea how we know what clothes are appropriate— they end up having to hire humans to act as fashion consultants after several incidents where diplomats showed up wearing mismatched clothes from various time periods and countries and looking totally ridiculous.

And what about yawning? Aliens who work on human ships say they never fully get used to hearing one human yawn and then having the whole room start yawning along with them. Or telling a joke to one human and seeing humans who say they don’t find the joke that funny cracking up anyway because “their laugh is so infectious!” It’s a common practical joke to tell new nonhuman crew members about this horrible disease humans get, where they feel tired and have an uncontrollable urge to open their mouths. It’s deadly, they say, and very contagious.

New safety procedures have to be worked out for the humans because, on the one hand, you don’t have to go around telling each individual to leave. Humans will just follow the mob. On the other hand, though, you have to be careful not to spread panic, because if one human runs, they all will, and they’ll trample anyone who isn’t fast enough to stay ahead.

Aliens hear humans tell their kids not to give into peer pressure and just get really confused. “Why would they do it if they don’t want to?”

“Because their friends are telling them to do it!”

“But why do it just because they’re telling them to do it?”

“Because they’re their friends!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”


When aliens see earth movies about people being indoctrinated or turned into zombies, it takes them a while to realise that these are horror movies because, from their perspective, that’s just what humans are like.

6

Prisoner of Azkaban Deleted Scene

Neville was in total disgrace. Professor McGonagall was so furious with him she had banned him from all future Hogsmeade visits, given him a detention, and forbidden anyone to give him the password into the tower. Poor Neville was forced to wait outside the common room every night for somebody to let him in, while the security trolls leered unpleasantly at him.

Patronus
  • So the patronus isn’t straight up taught in Hogwarts, as a wise professor once said, it’s a ‘highly advanced spell, well beyond O.W.L level’
  • But you know, this is the marauders, the rebellious little nerds that we all know and love.
  • So James got hold of a book from  the library one day about how to do the patronus and it seemed very cool. Not the whole fighting dementors part, but the distant and simple communication? priceless for a marauder.
  • And so they all stayed up one night trying to learn how to do it.
  • Sirius was actually the first to successfully do the spell. He had spent the last hour lavishly flinging his wand in the air shouting ‘Expecto Patronum!’ to no avail. Them Remus told him he should try to think of a happier memory.
  • He thought of the first time he had called Euphemia Potter ‘mum’. It had been an accident and had really just slipped out. He had been so embarrassed. But none of the Potter’s seemed to have noticed. A few moments later James had turned over to Sirius and said.’Could you pass your brother the salt then?’
  • And Sirius had never felt more part of a family in his life.
  • He was so engrossed in the memory he didn’t even notice the frantic black dog shoot out to his wand and knock Peter onto his backside.
  • Peter was next, he was thinking of the moment when some of the Slytherins had been bullying him earlier one day in first year and he had been crying down by the lake all afternoon, only to have Remus come up and sit behind him, rubbing his back and comforting him. Then Sirius and James had pushed the Slytherins into the Black lake right in front of him. How they had laughed. Real friends.
  • The small rat that scurried out of Peter’s wand that night was the first and last one Peter could ever produce. This was 6th year and soon the war became to much for the young boy.
  • Standing next to a struggling James, Remus was viciously whispering and flicking his wrists over and over again. ‘Expecto Patronum. Expecto Patronum. Expecto f’fucks sake. This is hopeless.’
  • ‘You can do it Moony.’ Sirius smiled.
  • Remus thought about the first time he had kissed the stupid black haired Gryffindor in front of him. Sirius had been stealing something out of one of the cupboards along the school corridors when Remus had caught him on prefect rounds.
  • Looking back on it Remus couldn’t help but laugh at how unsubtle Sirius had been about the whole thing. ‘Oh, we seem to have bumped into each other Moons’ ‘What a coincidence.’ Remus of course had just assumed Sirius was trying to tease him into giving him detention, something Remus would never do, and had ended up getting pretty annoyed and flustered about being this close to Sirius in a small space and omg he could feel the heat of his skin and ah this was too much and he couldn’t stop talking.
  • Until Sirius closed that little gap between them to shut him up.
  • And Remus had never been happier. And he had never looked back.
  • And then a large animal came running out of the end of his wand, and Remus thought to himself.
  • ‘It’s a dog! Sirius and I have the same Patronus!’
  • Only Remus’ was much bigger than Sirius’ dog… and it’s tail was bushier.. and did it just howl?
  • No. This wasn’t fair. Not this. That wasn’t how this was supposed t be. It was meant to be a happy memory. This wasn’t fair, after all this time, the one thing he thought he could share with his boyfriend.. and this was what he gets… another reminder about how imperfect and unworthy and unwanted…
  • And then there was Sirius standing next to him, sliding his arm around his back and kissing him gently on the cheek.
  • ‘I love it.’ He whispered.
  • ‘ ‘s not fair.’ Remus mumbled.
  • ‘Remus look.’ Sirius replied. ‘it’s not that. It’s a wolf. A normal wolf. A loyal and pack having, friendly wolf.’
  • And Sirius was grinning.
  • But Remus just shrugged.
  • James was having the most trouble of them all.
  • Something was wrong, he just couldn’t seem to do it. He kept thinking of happy memories, first time he rode a broom, first time Sirius came to stay, first time he transformed into a stag.
  • And still nothing.
  • Tiny wisps of silver.
  • And then nothing.
  • ‘It’s fine James, we already know what it’s going to be.’
  • ‘I know,’ James replied through gritted teeth. ‘I just want to see it.’
  • And he was so fustrated.
  • And making a crap load of noise about it too.
  • So much noise in fact, that he started to wake the other residents of the Gryffindor tower up from their slumber.
  • And so a very grumpy and tired Lily Evans came storming down the staircase.
  • ‘What in Merlin’s name are you twats doing now!’
  • ‘Ah Evans.’ Sirius grinned. ‘care to join us?’
  • ‘It’s three in the fucking morning Black! I’m supposed to be sleeping, except someone has been screaming for the past half hour about how hard this is and he trying but it’s not working, and I can’t tell if James is finally losing his virginity or doing his homework for once, but what I do know is that it’s stopping me from being able to enjoy the few hours of the day that I don’t have to be around you lot.’
  • A rather deeply embarrassed James pushed past a bent-over-with-laughter Sirius.
  • ‘Actually Lily,’ he said, trying to act suave and like he hand’t just heard the last bit. ‘We are trying to do the patronus charm.’
  • This had peaked Lily’s interest, and although she knew better, she asked. ‘Really? The patronus charm? Wow. A proper one?’
  • ‘Yepp.’ peter chimed in. ‘And we’ve all been able to do it, except for James.’
  • Lily cocked her eyebrow.
  • ‘Oh.’ She smiled. ‘Let me try then.’
  • James, not wanting to be shown up any more by the fiery red head who was hopelessly in love with, quickly butted in. ‘No no. I mean, you can try.. but its really hard and took everyone ages to master and you’ll be up all night trying and-’
  • ‘Potter.’ She replied sternly.
  • It only took her three attempts.
  • And there it was.
  • A beautiful silver shimmering doe burst through the tip of her wand and gracefully ran across the common room, galloping past it occupants before turning and vanishing as Lily dropped her arm. She grinned.
  • ‘See? Not so hard then.’
  • James just stared. Open mouthed. Like the rest of the marauders. Dumb-founded in total and complete shock, until Lily just gave up on them and went back off to bed.
  • James didn’t have any trouble producing a Patronus after that.
If you ever feel like you had a long day…

Just remember what Hermione, Harry, and Ron went through on May 1st.

The three of them wake up at 6am on the morning of May 1st in order to change into their disguises and head to Gringotts.

Over the next 24 hours:

  • They change and take Polyjuice potion
  • They manipulate their way into Gringotts
  • They’re badly burned by fake treasure
  • They escape on a dragon
  • They ride the dragon across the countryside for several hours
  • They’re nearly caught by Death Eaters
  • They hear the real story of Dumbledore’s sister from Aberforth while enjoying their first and only meal of the day (a large loaf of bread, some cheese, and mead)
  • They go with Neville to the Room of Requirement
  • Harry breaks into the Ravenclaw common room to look for the diadem
  • Harry reveals himself to McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout
  • Ron and Hermione go down into the Chamber of Secrets to destroy the cup
  • They goes into the Room of Requirement to find the diadem
  • They narrowly escape the Fiendfyre
  • They duel with Death Eaters
  • Ron’s brother dies
  • They sneak out to the Shrieking Shack
  • Ron and Hermione help move the dead when Voldemort announces that he’s going to give Harry an hour before resuming fighting
  • Harry runs up to Dumbledore’s office to see Snape’s memories
  • Harry watches memories that totally alter his perception of his life and of Snape
  • Harry realizes he needs to die
  • Harry rushes out to the Forbidden Forest to sacrifice himself
  • Harry speaks to his parents, Sirius, and Remus using the resurrection stone
  • Harry allows Voldemort to kill him
  • Harry is taken back to the castle by the Death Eaters and a triumphant Voldemort
  • Ron and Hermione and the others briefly mourn Harry while Voldemort monologues
  • Harry rises again and monologues for a bit before dueling Voldemort
  • Harry kills Voldemort as the dawn begins to break
  • They visit Dumbledore’s portrait and discuss the elder wand
  • Harry goes off to his dormitory, wondering if Kreacher can bring him a sandwich
Starting College or University

1. Money will likely be in short supply. You’ll find a student loan doesn’t stretch very far.

2. It’s likely that you’ll feel a bit homesick at first, but for most individuals that doesn’t last too long. Just throw yourself into the activities around you and try to avoid any visits home.

3. Your first week of classes will be a huge let down. They’re usually uninspiring – but get better with time. Expect to do a lot of work on your own as you don’t get taught at university. (They just spew out information and facts).

4. When you first meet your room-mates or the others in your class, expect long pauses and awkward silences. You will still be total strangers with no knowledge of each other – but that will pass in a day or two.

5. Your old friends will change as you’re all on different paths - so you’re bound to have fewer things in common now.

6. Romantic relationships will need a lot more work if one of you moves when you start studying. Also, distance relationships can be hard to maintain so think about whether the relationship should end.

Tips For Improving Sleep Hygiene!

We all know that nutrition and fitness are tall, tall pillars of wellness, but both of those are exponentially more difficult without the linchpin–sleep. It goes like this. First, you sleep like absolute donkey turds. Next, If you’ve managed to get to the gym you’re more likely to underperform or you may just succumb to skipping it entirely! Then, you’re more prone to food cravings and your hunger-satiety cues aren’t coming across as clearly. Your irritableness and fatigue make comfort eating seem that more appealing that day. You wonder, “Can you replace sleep with food?” Only very temporarily, and then you’ll be stuck in that loop until you get some shut eye.

We’re all sleeping fewer hours it seems, and there’s reason to believe it plays a crucial role in maintaining an overall healthy lifestyle. Many mental and physical aspects of the body take a hit when we’re running on empty. That’s why sleep is so important! So–here’s a list of some lifestyle adjustments that can make falling asleep a little easier.

Limit What You Do in Your Room: This can be difficult depending on your living arrangements, but the more you can limit your room to just sleeping and being intimate, the more you’ll be able to relax and wind down. Your brain gets the message! If you’re living in a dorm, try to spend wakeful hours in the common areas or at the library. If you’re in a less than ideal home situation and your room is your only haven, try to find activities to keep you out of the house more often. I used to go to the public library and just chill!

Ditch the Phone: Look. I get it. You tell yourself “what if there’s an emergency?” and I totally understand you’d want to be there. Problem is, how many times do you whip out your phone and play a level of that game? How many times do you shoot a quick text or check social? Shoot, how many times do you just glance at your clock and moan about not being asleep yet? I have a solution. Leave it outside the room but within earshot. If you get your 3 AM emergency you can be there but you’ll be significantly less tempted to check it every 5 minutes. If you can go all the way, shut it off. OFF.

Limit Blue Light at Night: About TV. About computers. About phones (again). They emit blue wavelengths of light and these are very stimulating for the brain. Sort of like daylight!  Not only are these entertaining, they wake up the brain. There are various apps and extensions on the market (f.lux) that will change the wavelengths of light to redder hues and I highly recommend them. I’d still advocate against bringing these devices into the bedroom, but if you’re finishing up some homework or responding to an email before bed it may be helpful to use those warmer colors. If for nothing else, it will reduce eyestrain.

Use White Noise: It helps us sleep because the changes in other environmental noise will be less noticeable. Also, anyone who suffers a ringing ear will be driven less to insanity. I’m a light sleeper, a very light sleeper. Events like a toilet flushing upstairs or even just the A/C switching on will wake me up. After buying a white noise machine I have significantly fewer issues with this. I recommend this machine. There are apps as well but I found the noise to be really tinny and unnatural. We’re also trying to use the phone less in the room! Remember? Of course, many people are pretty content with the noise from a fan as well. I personally find that the crappier the fan, the better the white noise. The ol’ faithful $20 Lasko fan is the best white noise IMO.

Avoid Eating Late at Night: Or, whenever “late” is for you. I haven’t forgotten about third shifters! Again, there are circumstances that make this difficult for some to commit to, but if you’re prone to any sort of gastrointestinal turbulence eating close to bedtime can be awfully distracting and uncomfortable. Likewise, eating your last meal a little too early and winding up hungry at bedtime can be as issue for some, so find your Goldilocks!

Make Your Room Cool at Night: I avoid running the A/C during the day, but I’m sure a lot of us find sleeping in a hot room miserable. If I had it my way I’d make it Hoth in my room at night, but that’s a little on the expensive side so I use a little bit of A/C, a fan, and sleep with fewer blankets; at least in the summer. In the winter I just turn the heat down a couple clicks and get to bury myself (yaaaaas). Keep it dark in there, too!

Make Your Bed in the Morning: Keeping your room tidy and the bed made will make for a welcoming and less chaotic environment. There isn’t much to this! We experience the world with all our senses, after all.

Limit Caffeine Use to the Earlier Portion of the Day: OK, so I know there are people who can drink a cup of coffee before bed and pass right out, but I am not one of these people. In fact, if I drink it anytime after about noontime I’m going to be wired and howling with the coyotes. Many recommendations suggest 3-4 PM as an absolute cutoff time, but if you’re more sensitive like I am you may want to consider leaving it to the morning only.

Sleep and Wake at Roughly the Same Time: Routine is everything. There will be times we need to deviate from routine, and that’s fine! Just try not to flip-flop too severely and all the time. Your rhythm will start to associate these times of day with rest and wakefulness.

Stop Drinking Water Roughly Two Hours Before Bed: It’s undeniable that water is the most healthful thing we can put into our bodies; however, if you slam it right before bed you’re setting yourself to need a mighty wee in the early hours of the morning. Limit water intake close to bedtime and take a good wiz before hitting the hay.

A Few Things Worth the Try

  • aromatherapy (especially lavender based blends) 
  • shower before bed (wet hair will lower cranial temperature)
  • melatonin and valerian root
  • chamomile tea (just like water, limit this a few hours before bed to prevent midnight bathroom breaks)
Give me angry Pansy pining after Draco who's pining after Harry who's pining after Ginny who's pining after Dean who's pining after Seamus who's also pining after Dean

Give me Pansy who tries something new every year to get Draco’s attention and being so angry when he doesn’t notice
Give me Draco ignoring Pansy because Potter is nearby and that Granger girl is far too close to him Pansy /look/
Give me Harry ranting to Hermione about Ginny because she’s been spending a lot of time with Neville, are they dating? And Hermione patiently explaining that, no, they aren’t dating because Luna and Neville are dating
Give me Ginny ranting to Luna about Dean because he’s always with /Seamus/
Give me Dean talking to Ron in a hushed voice in the common room at night about Seamus and how he totally likes me, right?
Give me Seamus having the same conversation with Ron the next morning at breakfast and being confused when Ron sighs and mumbles something about pining idiots

Give me eighth year friendships that turn into relationships
Give me Hermione and Pansy who try and get Draco and Harry together and end up having a fling. It doesn’t work out because Pansy starts thinking that maybe she doesn’t want a relationship
Give me Pansy who gets a dog and names it Clifford because what, Hermione, I’ve watched the show
Give me Draco and Harry who are pushing into a relationship by Pansy and Hermione and are reluctant at first, but then they realize that, hey, they actually work
Give me Ginny who gets even closer to Luna after the war and when Luna and Neville break up, is confused as to why she is relieved because she doesn’t like /Neville/
Give me Dean who draws Seamus in all his free time because he has a really nice smile
Give me Seamus finding the drawings and confronting Dean about them because these are /good/ but there are so many and how long has he been doing this?
Give me Seamus getting confused when Dean gets flustered because he doesn’t like him, right?
Give me Dean who kisses Seamus on the spot because it’s now or never
Give me Hermione who is fed up with all of this pining
Give me Ron who laughs harder everyday because these gay idiots have no idea they like each other
Give me Neville who ends up in a relationship with Hannah Abbot because she shares his love of plants and he really loved Luna, but more as a sister than anything

Give me Weasley dinners with Ron and Hermione, Draco and Harry, Neville and Hannah, Luna and Ginny, Dean and Seamus, Pansy and Clifford
Give me Molly going frantic because /so many jumpers/ and how do you even make a jumper for a /dog/
Give me couples swapping jumpers

Give me happy Hogwarts kids in happy, loving relationships

dumb tododeku ideas ive thought about

  • todoroki enjoys hanging out in midoriya’s dorm, and prefers to spend most of his time in there
  • and he’s like “hey izuku, can we study in your room?” and midoriya is so enthusiastic and hes like “yeah! we can study!” 
  • but instead of studying like he asked to, todoroki decides to fuckn take a nap on midoriya’s bed
  • then usually midoriya doesnt even end up studying himself, so he’ll take a nap with todoroki too, or he’ll just browse through his phone
  • todoroki is a total blanket hogger, and midoriya doesnt understand why. “shouto.. u can regulate ur own body temperature.. why must u steal my blankets. im cold”
  • though 100% of the time, midoriya squeezes his way into todoroki’s blanket burrito. its super Cozy.
  • todoroki is actually really ticklish. and midoriya accidentally finds this out when he pokes his side to get his attention and is met with a loud squawk 
  • midoriya likes to poke his sides at random times because he finds the noise hilarious. (todoroki doesnt enjoy it, but he bears with it since he enjoys midoriya’s laugh)
  • though in return, when todoroki wants midoriya’s attention, he just sticks his cold hand under his shirt. (it causes midoriya to yelp each and everytime he does this)
  • in the common room, todoroki and midoriya Will take up the entire couch just to cuddle and wont let anyone else sit there with them. (midoriya feels a bit guilty doing this, but todoroki is just like ‘‘no. go sit on the floor’’)
  • before they started dating, they were pining after each other for a whole year. and also, were both totally clueless. 
  • and their classmates thought they were dating before they even officially started dating.
  • like, ‘’’””what do u mean theyre not dating yet? todoroki was totally sleeping on midoriya. they were practically holding hands. they keep hugging each other?? and hanging out in each others rooms?? they go out to lunch together every weekend? and theyre not boyfriends? bullshit’’’”
Lily

Lily is 11 and she doesn’t like boys. She loves Sev but that’s different. She loves him the way she loves Petunia, the way Petunia doesn’t love her back. She likes the way the the concrete feels in the summer, it burns her feet but she dances on it anyway. She likes pressing her fingers to her veins and trying to feel the magic. She likes the dark blue curtains in her living room that her mum constantly complains about. She likes the funny chocolates they have at school and the way they jump around. She likes running late to classes with Marlene and laughing at Mary’s attempt to cover for why they were not on time. She likes Alice’s soft voice that reminds the rest of them that they have plenty of homework as they lounge in the common room. She doesn’t like James Potter and the way he struts about thinking he’s so grand and funny, she knows grand and funny it’s her and her friends and most definitely not him.

Lily is 12 and she doesn’t like boys. She still loves Sev the same way as she always has but no longer the way she loves Petunia. Petunia makes her heart hurt as she spits out the word freak and makes witch sound like its poison in her mouth. Lily loves Petunia sadly and Sev happily and she thinks she’s okay with that. She likes baking with her mum and licking the spoon and fighting her dad for the bowl. She likes hiding behind the blue curtains after sneaking a frog in Tuney’s shoe. She likes the way her dad can’t stop laughing as he tries to scold her for it. She likes drawing pictures on the window of the train. She likes that her friends all try to guess what it is before she’s done, Alice always gets it right but that isn’t hard when Marlene and Mary are fighting to figure out who can come up with a ruder version of what it is. She likes eating in the great hall and feeling so apart and at home in something. She likes mimicking Marlenes snores with Mary at all times of the day especially in class. She likes quidditch and watching the games but severely less so when Potter is playing. She doesn’t like Potter no matter how good he is at the damn sport.

Lily is 13 and she’s starting to like boys. She likes them differently than Sev. Sev doesn’t make her palms sweat or her stomach do tumbles, he steadies her and lays with her and he loves her- more than Petunia ever has. He’s her real sibling, well the only one that really loves her and Lily thinks she’s okay with that, its better than having no one after all. Lily likes the breeze on her thighs when she wears her skirts. She likes the way the grass feels against her legs as she lays with Marlene in the courtyard skipping yet another divination lesson. She likes making up wild stories of what their futures probably hold including but not limited to, Marlene marrying a giant and becoming a giant queen, Lily sprouting wings and becoming accepted amongst the dragons, Alice turning out to be a unicorn in disguise, which they both agreed would be too plausible for it to be considered actual divination, and Mary one day waking up with a third leg to kick them both with. She likes telling these theories to try and get a laugh out of a begrudging Mary who actually DID go to class and was left by herself. She likes the way Alice dances with Marlene to make Mary smile which eventually leads to the four of them dancing and laughing all night in the common room. She likes the way Potter and his friends are totally bewildered by it asking loudly what the hell had gotten into them, she knows he could never understand the pure joy of dancing with your friends. She likes the way Marlene tells Sirius she’d rather dance with a pig’s privates when he asks if she has any moves left for him. She likes painting Alice’s nails and listening her talk all about how much she loves her little brother and wondering what it must feel like to have an older sibling that not only tolerates you but actually loves you back. She likes chasing Mary’s cat, Sniffers, and complaining loudly when he won’t let her hold him. She thinks she may like Remus Lupin a little more than she previously thought. She’s always liked how kind and smart and quietly hilarious he is but she’s only just realized how cute his nose is and how she thinks she may want to hold his hand. She likes that he’s different from his total gits of friends but remains loyal to them. Loyalty Lily knows is one of the most important things in a friendship, which is why she doesn’t let her friends judge Severus. She likes that she can tell Alice about her crush on Remus without her making fun of her or suggesting that she do something crazy like fling her bra at him to make him love her (something Marlene and Mary promised would do the trick). She likes transfiguration because Remus sits next to her and tells the funniest jokes quietly so only she can hear. She likes that she spends most of the class laughing at him which may be why she isn’t doing her best, Potter on the other hand excels in transfiguration which is something that really grinds her gears, probably because it’s the one class he doesn’t laugh much in, for some reason he spends most of it quiet giving her and Remus rather annoyed looks.

Lily is 14 and she likes boys. Not the way she likes Severus, whom she still loves… despite everything. They’ve been fighting quite a bit lately mostly because he’s been hanging around with scum and Lily can’t understand why he can’t see that they’re scum. They tell him she’s dirty and disgusting and not a real witch and he hangs around with them anyway it infuriates her and he hangs around with them anyway. But even though he has his flaws and can’t see how disgusting his new “friends” are, Lily loves him anyway. She loves him because he brings her her favorite sweets and let’s her hold his hand and listens when she cries about Petunia, even though she’s found she never likes what he ends up saying about Tuney. She loves him because they’re siblings in every sense of the word so she guesses that it’s ok that they argue, after all they don’t argue nearly as much as her and Tuney do. Or did rather, after all petunia hasn’t answered a single letter Lily has sent her this year and she stayed at a friends house during Christmas holiday to avoid her. Lily thinks she’d rather Petunia call her a freak everyday and spit in her tea twice every hour than have her deny her existence, it would hurt way less. Lily likes dancing. She likes stepping on her dads feet as he twirls her around the kitchen. She likes potions. No lily loves potions. She likes to see the magic actually being created right in front of her she likes that she can hold it and see it and it’ll never stop amazing her. She likes Benjy Fenwick and his bright blonde hair. She likes his small smile and big blue eyes. She likes the way her stomach flips when he’s around. She likes the way her friends act more excited than she does when he finally asks her to Hogsmeade. And she pretends not to like the choruses of “Lily and Benjy sittin in a tree”. She still likes Remus Lupin even though she’s over her crush. She likes studying with him in the library and debating and debating about all the injustices going on in their world. Injustices that were really starting to scare her. Against her better judgment she’s found that she also likes Sirius Black and Petter Pettigrew. For completely different and all around confusing reasons. She never really thought much of Peter, he was just one of potters friends. She assumed him to be an intolerable arrogant git and she found herself to be so wrong. It was when she was assigned to sit next to him in charms after causing too much of a ruckus near Marlene. The first day he nearly made her pee from laughing so hard. She liked that he always brought an extra quill because he knew Mary would forget one. She liked how he copied an extra set of notes for Marlene the day she was sick, something Lily herself hadn’t thought to do. She liked how pretty soon he was joining in on hers and Lupins study sessions which would leave them all doubled over laughing. She found that she liked Sirius and that he really wasn’t as much of a prick as she assumed. She liked the way he over dramatized everything and she was actually growing to find him funny. Of course not nearly as funny as he thought he was but funny all the same. She liked that he spent more time in detention than her, (which she’ll admit she was in quite a bit) him James and the rest of their lot always got in trouble for their pranks. But it was their fault they had to boast and let everyone know it was them. Her Mary Marlene and Alice on the other hand pulled off far better pranks with far less the track record, a feat she liked a great deal. She doesn’t like James Potter and the way he arrogantly asked her on a date while she was holding hands with Benjy. (She did however like her response to the question which included several curse words and threats to his well being).

Lily is 15 and she hates boys. She’s rocking back and forth and tearing at her hair and sobbing so hard she can’t catch her breath. Because he said it, he really said it. She couldn’t believe he actually said it. Her throat is raw from her screaming into her hands.He became the thing he promised he never would and he said the word. No matter how hard she shut her eyes she couldn’t get the image of his face out of her head. The word was stuck in her ears repeating itself over and over again. Mudblood. She felt like her stomach was in the floor as she laid her head in her knees and sobbed. Petunia still looks through her instead of at her. She had lost both of her siblings. Lily laughed out of the sheer irony of it all, because Severus and Petunia did have something in common after all, they both hated her. She disgusted the both of them and if it wasn’t for her friends she might have began to disgust herself too. Lily likes Alice. Soft and timid Alice who could never hurt a fly, was lying in the hospital wing getting her bloody knuckles bandaged. She was a different kind of calm than Lily was used to, no perky smile or scrunched nose sat on her face. Instead her eyes had this fierce fury, she sat perfectly still and the combination made her look deadly. “He’ll never say that word again Lily” she whispered. Reaching up to wipe her face with the back of her hand she only managed to smear it with blood. Lily likes Mary, who always butters her toast for her because “honestly Lily watching you do it is so slow and painful and look!! You’ve got chunks that won’t taste right just let me do it Merlin”. Lily likes Marlene especially when she’s yelling and fighting with all the professors, “I certainly do not think my skirt length has any effect on my ability to do magic. And if you don’t stop looking at my skirt I’ll show you just how capable I am at charms and charm your foot up your arse!!!” Lily was forced to charm Potters head to his desk in order to get the same two weeks detention that Marlene had gotten for that rant. Something Marlene was quietly greatful for, the two never spent a detention without the other. Lily likes rock n roll. She likes blasting it from her room and complaining to her mum that that’s the way it needs to be heard when she’s chided to lower it. She likes painting her nails black so they look especially badass when she flips Potter off. She likes going for car rides with her parents. And it’s ok that Petunia never comes because she gets to lay down in the back seat and dangle her feet out the window. She likes sneaking out at night with all her friends just to lay on the grass and look at the stars. She likes daring Alice to skinny dip in the lake and loves when she actually does. She likes that it took only seconds until the rest of the jumped in after her. She likes that Sniffers finally lets her hold him. She likes that Alice held her when Benjy cheated on her, she didn’t even like him that much but it hurt all the same. Mary and Marlene had left the common room quietly together and when she asked where they were going they both only shrugged. She liked that after only an hour later they returned with all of Benjys clothes, “we left his stuff from second year for him to wear tomorrow” Marlene said proudly as they all died in laughter. She liked Mary’s loud comments at breakfast the next morning, “Oi! Cut back on the breakfast Benjy looks like you’ve put on a few pounds. Your jumper buttons are ready to burst!” She yelled it while she buttered Lily’s toast with a smile. Lily secretly liked the way Potter threw death glares in Benjys direction mumbling about how he was an absolute fucking idiot, not that she’d ever admit that to anyone. She still didn’t like Potter not one bit, not even now that he’s grown to be so tall.

Lily is 16 and she can’t help liking boys. Not Severus though who she refuses to so much as glance at. Sure he tried apologizing several times but it was just too little too late. Petunia’s actually been civil lately, she made Lily a cup of tea without being asked. It might not be love but lily was sure it was something. Lily likes tea and pouring as much sugar in it as possible. She likes when her mom tells her that she might as well drink the sugar packets instead. She likes when her dad comments on the situation by doing just that and drinking the sugar. She likes the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and loves playing all the music for her dad to hear. She likes that he’ll sit with her for hours and just listen to the songs and talk about them. She loves when he surprises her with band tshirts that she wears until they’re ripped and faded. She likes chocolate and competing with Marlene to see who can stuff more of it in their mouths. She likes Marlene’s signature victory dance she does every time she wins. She likes Alice’s yells that they’ll both get stomach aches and ruin their appetites. She likes sitting up late at night in bed and talking to the rest of them. They can talk about anything and everything and they do. She likes the way Alice bashfully told them that Frank Longbottom had asked her out. But what she liked even better was helping her get ready to go. She liked the way Mary did Alice’s hair as Lily did her nails. Marlene watched them work and told Alice detailed stories about all the sex her and Frank would soon be having and not to worry cus she’d gladly tell her what goes where and how to do what and what boys like. She only stopped because Alice was blushing so hard Lily couldn’t do her makeup. Lily likes Sirius, loves him actually. They’d become very close over the year. She likes the way he gives her piggy back rides to class and his sharp wit. She likes that they can insult each other all day and know the others joking. She likes the way he’ll dramatically fall into a chair in the common room and claim he’s died of boredom. She likes that he understands. When she talked to him about Petunia and about how much it hurt to have a family member not love you back he actually understood. She nearly cried when he told her about his family but she was guiltily grateful to finally have someone who could relate. She likes James Potter now. They’ve decided to become friends. Just friends. That’s it. She doesn’t like him anymore than that. And if she has to say it again to Marlene or Mary or Alice or Remus or Sirius or Peter or any one else in this goddamn school she’s going to completely lose it. She likes that they’re friends he’s actually a very good friend. She likes the way he laughs. He does it with his whole body so his long legs kick up and his glasses nearly slide down his nose. She likes when he makes her laugh which is almost every minute of every day. He’s constantly whispering something in her ear or yelling across the dining hall or sneaking her notes in class. She likes the way he defends his friends so fiercely and loudly. When Alex Benditen made a nasty comment about Peter’s weight James made his stomach grow three times the size. She likes the way he runs his hand through his hair just to mess it up. She likes the way he’s constantly tapping his foot or his pen. It’s as if he just has so much energy it’s ready to explode right out of him. She likes his eyes and the way he looks at her like no one else does. She likes Potter, likes him a lot actually. But only as a friend of course she reminds herself, only as a friend.

Lily is 17 and loves her boys. Not Severus, who she barely even thinks about anymore, but Peter and Sirius and Remus and James. She loves Petunia and she’s starting to think that Petunia just may love her back a tiny bit. But it’s ok if she doesn’t lily decided. She’s finally content with being the sister who waits the sister who loves more freely. Lily likes going for walks at night. She likes grabbing her ratty pair of sneakers by the door and sneaking out. She likes the way the streets look when no ones on them. She likes the peace of it all. She likes the way the night air gives her a feeling of suspense. The night makes her feel like anything is possible and anything could happen at any moment. She likes do laundry with her mum. She likes sitting on the dryer and folding the clothes that her mum passes her while she tells her stories about when when she was younger. She likes the warmth of the clothes and the smell of the laundry and the sound of her mums laugh. Lily likes socks. She likes wearing the ones that are mismatched and the ones that have holes in the toe. She likes stuffing the dirty ones in Mary’s face for her to smell. She likes falling asleep in places that aren’t her bed. This particular habit happens to be one that she shares with Remus. The result of this led to a chart being made by Sirius and Marlene. Next to Lily’s name was, common room floor, Mary’s bed, staircase, great hall, peter’s bed, floor of boys room, floor of girls room, library, and charms class. Remus was the clear winner next to his name he had, every class he has ever taken, common room floor, every seat in common room, courtyard, astronomy tower, quidditch pitch, great hall, Sirius’s bed, boys floor, library, three broomsticks, supply closet, and a few passages. She liked the chart and the memories and teasing that went along with it. She liked napping next to Remus in the common room and the way he looked so peaceful. She likes firewhiskey. She likes the way it warms her all the way from her stomach to her fingertips. She likes proclaiming loudly and often that she could drink anyone who dares under the table. And she liked even better that she actually could, a fact that Sirius still gripes about. Lily liked dares. She liked both getting them and giving them. Her favorite dare to date was the one she gave Marlene the first week of this year. Marlene and Sirius had been loudly and aggressively flirting for the past year and a half and lily was tired of neither of them actually doing anything about it. So one night after a few bottles of firewhiskey she dared Marlene to give Sirius a Lap dance. Marlene was never one to back down from a challenge drunkenly stood up and Sirius nearly passed out before she even walked over to him. The music played and she swayed her hips and not even thirty seconds went by before he grabbed her and the two were heatedly making out. She liked the way the rest of them yelled and laughed and the choruses of finally. She liked the two of them together they were loud and obnoxious and completely in love. She still likes dancing in the common room. She likes twirling so fast that her skirt goes up and laughs at the hoots and hollers of her boys. Lily likes Mary and she couldn’t give less of a fuck that Mary liked girls. She liked that none of them cared at all and instead we’re always in constant search of finding Mary a girlfriend, something that always led to Mary blushing and hiding her face in her hands. She likes when they all play hide n seek like they’re little kids again. She always hides with Peter because he some how manages to find the best hiding places. She likes the way everyone groans that they win every round and the way Peter holds her hand up in victory. She likes Alice and Frank together. She likes watching them talk quietly to each other and giggle. They’re both soft and kind and absolutely perfect for each other. She likes cauldrons. She likes talking constantly about all the different makes and models and the proper ways to clean them and the slight effects each has on every different potion. The only person that will ever listen to her drone on and on about them is James. She likes James more than she’s ever liked anyone else before. She first kissed him after the first quidditch game of the season. James had been very worried before hand and was constantly griping about how essential it was for them to win. Lily showed up to every practice beforehand to scrutinize and give her advice. It usually led to the two of them arguing but she did it anyway. At the last practice before the game she told him that he needed to do a full roll fake out before shooting to avoid a defender. “ I can’t do that do you even know how hard that is?!” He had yelled back at her. “Liam pofcery does it all the time!” She answered arms crossed. “He’s been a professional for ten years how am I supposed to do that?” James had groaned. But at the game she watched from the stands and he did it and they won. She sprinted on to the pitch afterwards jumped onto him nearly knocking him over and kissed him. She liked the way the world stopped for a moment when she did it. All the people screaming seemed to blur for a moment and all she could see was him. She was kissing James. She liked his stupid face of surprise right before she did it. She liked the way he immediately kissed her back fiercely and intensely. She liked the way he grabbed her tight as if she might let go or change her mind and pull away. She had no intention of doing that because she liked the way he kissed way too much. She likes kissing James. After the first one it all started to rush into place. She could finally admit to herself all the things she liked about him. She liked his eyes and how they were always bright as if he just told a joke. She liked his hands and how they were big and rough from holding a broom. She liked his hair and the funny way it stuck out at all ends. She liked how fucking tall he was and how she had to pull his tie for him to lean down and kiss her. She liked laying with him at night and hearing him breathe. She liked pushing him off the bed when he snored and laughing when he tickled her in retaliation. She liked the way he exasperatedly yelled her name when she made him mad. She liked that he’d twirl her in the common room and on the quidditch pitch and in the astronomy tour and anywhere else he could think of. She pretended not to like when he constantly went around and told everyone she was his girlfriend. She liked that he was bestfriends with her friends and she with his. She liked how everything was perfect. Even when it wasn’t. Peter served detention four times for cursing Slytherins who threatened her. Which was three less than the 7 times Remus served for doing the same thing. Mary and Marlene both were in the hospital wing twice with broken knuckles. But nothing beat Sirius and James’s 10 detentions and 3 hospital wing visits in the matter of four months. Lily yelled at all of them that she didn’t need their help that she could take the insults and threats just fine and handle herself perfectly on her own. But she liked the way they all rolled their eyes when she screamed. She liked that when the letters from the Order came they all said yes without hesitation. None of them needed a second to think or consider it. They were all ready to get out of school and start actually doing something to help. They were all ready to fight. She liked the way they spent their last few days in school. They broke out every night and drank and danced in the courtyard. She dared Alice to skinny dip again and soon they were all freezing and splashing and dying from laughter. The world was fucked up and the war was coming but for those few nights they were kids in love. In love with their friends, in love with the night and the stars, in love with the laughter that gave them aches to their bones, in love with the naive idea that they’d all be ok that this and them would all last forever. She liked remembering those nights and that feeling right before she went to sleep. She liked sleeping with all of the blankets wrapped around her, a fact that always led to James complaining. She didn’t like James Potter at all. She loved him.

alternativetart  asked:

hey, i was wondering if you had any good sugar cookie (or something similar) recipes? my brother wants me to bake some for him lol

First key to good sugar cookies: DO NOT MELT YOUR BUTTER, AND DON’T USE FROZEN BUTTER. For fuck’s sake, I know it makes cookies a Thing To Plan instead of an impulsive thing, but it’s like, the number 1 most common reason for fucked up sugar cookies, aside from just ignoring the directions. 

Step 1: Leave 2 sticks of butter out overnight, to become room temperature. This is ‘softened’ butter. It’s fine, it won’t spoil, you can leave butter out unwrapped under a bowl for a week and you’ll be fine. 

Step 2: Turn on the oven and set it for 350º F. (176 º C)

Step 3: Gather all your ingredients. You’ll need:

  • - 2 sticks of softened butter (1 cup total)
  •  - 1½ cups granulated sugar 
  • - 1 egg 
  • - 2¼ cups all-purpose flour
  • - ½ teaspoon baking powder 
  • - ½ teaspoon Kosher salt
  • - 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • Some extra granulated sugar for sprinkling on top to make ‘em cute little fuckers. 
  • Parchment paper

Step 4: Baking is a precise bitch so I’m being serious about this. Mix the Egg, Sugar, Vanilla, and Butter together first. 

Step 5: After it’s a creamy sort of goo, you can slowly stir in the rest of the ingredients (Dump in a little at a time, stir it until it’s completely mixed in, then dump in a little more, etc.) Congrats, you’ve made cookie dough~ Now line your pan with parchment paper because it cooks better that way. 

Step 6: Scoop out a little golf ball sized orb, roll it in some extra sugar, and smush it down onto your baking pan into a cookie shape. Space the cookies about 2 inches apart. 

Step 7: Once you’re sure the oven is heated to 350 (most ovens have a light that will turn on when they’re still ‘preheating’ and will turn off once it’s ACTUALLY at that temp) you can pop the baking sheets splayed with cookies into the oven for about 8-10 minuntes. The cookies should brown slightly around the edges, and that’s when they’re perfect imo. Some people like ‘em chewier. 

Step 8: Take the cookies out of the oven, and LET THEM CHILL. Seriously. They’re fragile, sensitive little creations at this point. DO NOT remove them from the pan. DO NOT try to move them to a cooling rack, or put them into a  bowl for transport to feed your minions. Just… let them sit until the backing pan is room temperature, and the cookies only feel slightly warm, but not hot and don’t fall apart in your hand. 

Ta daaa, sugar cookies. Happy birthday minion 394


Marauders Preference: How they would react when it’s their girlfriend’s time of the month

Requested by anon

Originally posted by stagdogwolfandrat

Remus would be amazing because, let’s face it, he’s the human manifestation of boyfriend goals. Also, he knows what it’s like to have a monthly curse that makes you want to kill people, so he’d be really sympathetic and sweet. If you wanted to spend seven hours cuddling on the sofa, then he’ll do that. If you need someone to yell and rant at, then he’ll sit and listen until you’re done. He probably gives amazing back rubs, and when you’re feeling emotionally drained he’ll hold you and play with your hair until you fall asleep. Like I said, he’s boyfriend goals

Originally posted by heart-ablaze

Sirius would overreact big time.

He would act as if it was the last week of your life; he would get you anything he thought you might need (even if you didn’t actually need anything), he’d constantly be asking if you were comfortable or in pain or breathing, and whenever you showed any signs of discomfort he would visibly wince. You would have to remind him a few times that it’s you who’s on their period, not him

Originally posted by scrapbookofmarauders

James has a little sister who he looks after during her time of the month and you can all fight me on this.

He’s already an expert on how to make an angry hormonal girl laugh and smile, and he’s totally up for getting supplies for you. He’ll sit outside by the lake with you (because he knows the common room gets stuffy and uncomfortable), and he’ll literally do anything to distract you; he’ll tell stories, plan pranks, offer to kill people who’re annoying you, anything. Usually you just ask him to cuddle with you, but you may take him up on the killing thing someday

Originally posted by marauderseraimagines

Peter would probably sell you out to Voldemort or something because that’s what he usually does when his friends need him

A/N: If you want to request a post like this or give me feedback, my ask is here!

heaven

Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter
Warnings: swearing, alcohol
I can’t deny this was totally inspired by @sappypotter :)


Draco could hear the muffled voices through the thick, wooden door of his dorm. He was planning on staying in bed all night, but the voices from the common room kept getting louder and louder, and it was doubtable that Draco would get any sleep.

When he was sure of hearing Pansy’s cackling laugh from the next room, he finally decided to just go and join them. 

A small silence fell over everyone when the blonde boy entered. Draco quickly scanned the room, which consisted of: Blaise Zabini, who wore the usual smirk on his lips, but seemed truly surprised to see Draco; Pansy, short hair tickling her neck, her chin tilted up with her usual demeanor; Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, whose legs were tangled together affectionately, his arm hung loosely over her shoulders.

And last of the bunch, who probably looked the most out of place next to Draco himself, was none other than Harry Potter, who pushed his wire-framed glasses half an inch up his nose as he stared at Draco, along with everyone else.

They all sat in a circle on the floor of the Slytherin common room, which wasn’t rare, ever since McGonagall implemented the new house unity rules for their eighth year. Draco sucked in a breath and regretted coming out of his room.

He just wished Potter would stop staring at him. It made him want to fidget.

“Well, look who decided to join us!” Pansy said, and Draco could tell alone from the tone of her voice that she was a little drunk. It wasn’t until then that he noticed the bottle of firewhiskey in the center of the circle, and all of the plastic cups scattered around the five of them.

When Draco didn’t respond, Blaise said, “Are you gonna sit, Malfoy? Or stand there and continue to stare at us all night?”

Clearing his throat, Draco nodded and muttered,”Yeah, I’ll sit.” He then proceeded to plop down where the biggest gap was, which just happened to be in between Pansy and Harry.

“Well, pour him a drink, Blaise,” prompted Pansy, as Blaise was refilling his own cup. But before Blaise took out a new cup for Draco, Harry blurted, “He can have mine. I’m done for the night.”

Draco turned to look at the curly-haired boy, who was holding out his half-filled cup of firewhiskey, almost like a peace offering. Harry’s glasses had fallen back down his nose, and it took a lot of willpower for Draco not to lean over and adjust them himself.

He tried to think of some witty insult about Potter drugging him, but Draco couldn’t even think straight when his pale fingers brushed against Harry’s warm ones, through the exchanging of the cup.

“Oh,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact. “Thanks.”

Draco turned back to face everyone, and he could practically feel Pansy’s stare digging into his skin. When he finally looked in her direction, she raised an eyebrow at him, her dark purple lips upturned into a suspicious smile.

She knew his secret. There was no getting past his best friend.

Draco took a big sip of the firewhiskey.

HIs eyes roamed around the room, which happened to be vacant saved for the six of them on the floor. Not many Hogwarts students returned the year after the war, and the majority of the ones that did weren’t very social.

Blaise began rambling about something Draco had no interest in, so he zoned out, his fingers wrapped tightly around his cup of alcohol that had previously belonged to Harry Potter.

What a weird turn of events his life had spiraled into. Less than a year ago, Draco was sure he was going to die in the Room of Requirement, when it was completely engulfed in hot flames during the battle.

He truly thought his life was over, but Harry Potter, dirt-streaked and sweat-stained, swooped in on a broomstick and carried Draco to safety.

And ever since that horrid day, Draco hadn’t been able to completely wipe Potter’s face from his mind.

The only sounds present were the fire crackling in the fireplace and Blaise’s smooth voice, rambling on about Merlin knows what. Draco practically jumped a foot into the air when he felt a hand on his left arm.

“Sorry,” Harry whispered, flicking something onto the carpet with the hand that had just grazed Draco. “You had a thread on your sweater.”

Trying to remain calm and ignore the heart palpitations inside his chest, Draco cleared his throat and mumbled, “It’s okay. Thanks.”

Was it a sin that, after that, all he wanted that night was for Harry to touch him again?

~~~~~

Within a matter of hours, the night had unraveled into an unnerving game of Truth or Dare. 

After about five minutes, Ron had ended up without a shirt and Pansy had already shared a very detailed account of her last date with a girl she’d been seeing. Draco’s blood felt as if it were boiling with anxiety under his skin, and he wished he could just rewind the past couple of hours and retreat back to his warm bed. 

But he couldn’t escape. “Truth or dare, Draco?” Pansy’s voice rang, dripping in sugar and venom.

The alcohol was blurring Draco’s thoughts slightly, but he was still very aware of the close proximity in which Harry was sitting, cross-legged, next to him.

He thought he had dodged a bullet when he answered, “Dare.” He didn’t want to deal with facing his secrets head on in front of everyone.

Pansy’s lips curled upward into a grin, and Draco’s stomach did flips. “I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room.”

Fuck.

Everyone else hummed a collective, “Ooooh,” as Draco was forced to face this challenge (which he had never signed up for in the first place).

In attempts to play it safe, Draco moved toward his right - toward Pansy, whom he had always thought of to be nice to look at. But mostly because he hoped she would just help him out with the situation at hand.

It didn’t work, because Pansy leaned backward and Blaise blurted out, “Oh please, Draco, we all know you’re about as straight as the sky is red.”

Ron snickered, and Draco saw Hermione try to hide her smile as well, as she buried her face into Ron’s sweater. He shot them a look with daggers in his eyes before waiting for a reaction from Harry, which never came.

It was at this precise moment that Draco decided to down the rest of the firewhiskey in his cup, as the rest of the eighth-years stared him down. Draco needed as much courage he could possible get if he was going to do what he was about to do.

In one swift movement, Draco threw his empty plastic cup to the floor, scooped Harry Potter’s face into his hands, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Harry was taken aback, naturally, and Draco felt the brunette’s whole body go rigid. Draco just kissed him harder, because he knew this may be his only chance - he’s never have the right confidence to do this again.

Draco was finally about to pull away, when Harry seemed to regain control of his body and began to kiss him back.

Draco felt like melting right then and there, and he probably would have if it weren’t for the fact that Harry’s face was sitting in his hands. The golden boy’s own hands made their way to Draco’s blonde hair, and it felt like…

Heaven. That was the only word Draco could think of as the two boys moved their lips against one another’s. He wasn’t even religious, but that’s exactly what it felt like to Draco - heaven.

It was sloppy, and wet, and utterly wonderful.

When it was finally over, they pulled away and just stared at each other, for what felt like a lifetime.

The common room was dead silent, as Pansy, Blaise, Hermione, and Ron stared in complete surprise and fascination. Draco had nearly forgotten he had an audience - no, they, had an audience.

Draco wasn’t sure any of them would ever speak again until Blaise finally whispered, “Damn,” his voice sounding low and raspy.

That’s when Draco finally ripped his eyes from Harry’s and looked around at the spectators, who stared back looking quite dumbfounded.

No one had probably ever expected none other than Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy to bump lips, let alone be in the same room and not at each other’s throats.

When Draco looked back at Harry and his forest-green eyes, he was met with Potter’s crooked yet beautiful grin staring him in the face.

Things had changed - Draco could feel it in the air, and certainly in the tingle of his lips. He smiled back at the curly-haired boy. Draco was ready for a change.

Do you think the hospital wing had resources for treating cats, too? All it takes is one dropped beetle eye, one gillyweed root, one spontaneously combusting puff ball…

And let’s face it, cats would happily chew on plastic bags and straight up danger if we let them. Electrical cords? Zap noodles. Can you imagine the trouble cats get into at a school where they have free access to magic?

“Uh hey Andrew your cat is totally stalking the giant squid”

“God damn it not again”

“My cat is terrified of the house elves and refuses to let them clean the common room, the trash is piling up, send help”

“Yeah she ate something on the floor and she’s been floating around knocking things down for about 3 days–oh yeah, she’s having a blast, but the litter box is on the ground so you tell me”

“What do you MEAN she killed it in the forbidden forest it’s 3 times her size–KITTY DON’T EAT THE ACROMANTULA”

“Guess who has a lifetime ban from the greenhouses?? You do!!”

Thought Wrong (Draco Malfoy x plus size reader)

Prompt; Draco Malfoy has always been trying to catch y/n’s attention. But she just thinks it’s another stupid joke for him and his friends to laugh about, but he proves her wrong.

Warnings; Cursing, plus size reader, body-shaming, cute shy and nervous Draco

l/n- last name y/h-your house

Originally posted by nellaey

You were walking down the hallway to your potions class, when you passed a group of slytherins, more importantly Draco and his friends. You noticed in the corner of your eye, that Crabbe nudged Draco’s shoulder and motioning towards you, as you passed by, causing Draco to shoot his head up and look at you smirking.

“Hey l/n!” Draco shouted and left his group of friends behind to walk with you.

“For the last time Draco my name isn’t l/n, it’s y/n.” You said as your turned your head towards him “And if you don’t mind I have to get to class.” You then began to walk faster away from him. You never really liked Draco, you always thought he was an asshole, and his efforts to get your attention was just a stupid joke with his friends. So you usually just came up with excuses to not talk to him.

Draco stopped walked and just watched you walk off and huffed “But I wanted to walk you to class.” he whispered to himself.


You got to your class a few minutes before it started. As you entered the classroom you saw your friend and walked over to the them. Then a couple minutes later Draco and his friends walked in. Draco sat at the table across from you, with Pansy.

Pansy began talking to Draco, but he ignored her and turned his head to look over at you sitting with your friend. He so badly wanted your attention but every time he tried to talk to you, you would just make an excuse up to leave. He was interrupted from his thoughts, by Professor Slughorn walking into the room.

“Good afternoon class, today we will be working in partners,” Everyone began to decide who they would work with but then Professor Slughorn interrupted “partners chosen by me.”  Professor Slughorn then began to call out names then he finally said yours “Mrs. L/n and umm,” Slughorn then began to look around the classroom to find you a partner, you also looked around the classroom to notice that only Hermione, Pansy, and Draco were the only ones left. Oh god please don’t be Draco you began to repeat in your head. “and Mr. Malfoy.”

You huffed and looked over at Draco who wasn’t giving his usual smirk but looking down at his potions book, blushing. Draco then walked over to where you were sitting and took the empty seat next to you. He still had his head down and was fumbling his thumbs. ‘Come on Draco, you can do this you just talked to her like ten minutes ago’ he thought to himself.  

“So…..” You turned towards Draco and he became nervous as you looked him in the eyes “Umm…. I’ll go get the ingredients.” You nodded your head and looked back at him. After waiting Draco came back with the ingredients.

“Ok so let’s start.” You both started making the potion. You were the main one really speaking, while Draco just nodded and gave some commentary. You both finally finished the potion. Slughorn then checked your potion, and was impressed by it. You began to pack your things in your bag but then you noticed Draco staring at you again.

“Not so cocky while your friends are around?” Draco then scoffed and looked down at his hands. “Don’t want them to know you might be friendly with the fat y/h?”

Draco raised his head so he was looking directly in your eyes. “What?” he said furrowed his eyebrows. That’s how you thought of yourself? Fat? He didn’t understand, he loved you and your body.

“Never mind.’' You shook your head. 

’'No, what is it?”

“You know exactly what I mean, I always see you and your friends making fun of girls cause they’re ‘overweight’, I wouldn’t be surprised if after class you and you friends made jokes about me.” You snapped.

“My friends do that, I don’t. And I would never let them hurt you.” You rolled your eyes. Then you thought about he never seemed to join in when they would make fun of those girls. You also realized you were the only 'bigger’ girl they didn’t make fun of. You dismissed the thoughts as Slughorn announced that class was over. You quickly left the class hoping Draco wouldn’t catch up to you.

“Hey l/n, um I mean y/n, we never finished our conversation!” Draco yelled down the hallway. You then turned around and began walking backwards.

“There’s no need to finish it!” You yelled back.


It was dinner and you were sitting at the y/h table. Thinking about what Draco told you. 'I would never let them hurt you.’ Maybe he was telling the truth, none of his friends ever picked on you. Then maybe you thought that this was probably some joke. Get you to fall in love him, but then for it to only be a sick prank in the end.

You started to get tired, so you told your friend you were ging to head up to the common room. What you didn’t noticed was the stares from a certain slytherian. As Draco watched you leave the great hall, he also got up from his table and followed you.

“Y/n!” You rolled your eyes hearing Draco’s voice, and ignored him. He then ran up to you to catch up with you “Hey.” he breathed. You turned your head towards him and glared.

“What?” You snapped.

“Well, I was wondering if I could take you out, like the next Hogsmeade visit or something?” You looked him dead in the eyes.

“No.”

“Oh great maybe I could pick you up- wait what?”

“I don’t feel like spending my free time with you.”

“What? Why?”

“Cause I know that this is some stupid joke with your stupid friends. Get the fat girl to go on a date with you and embarrass her.”

“Would you stop calling yourself that?” Draco slightly yelled, you looked at him kind of frightened. “Is that what you think of yourself? Fat?”

“No but I know that’s how you and your friends see me.”

“Well you’re wrong,” He looked into your eyes “I think beautiful.” He mumbled the last part, but you heard.

“Excuse, but am I hearing this correctly. Draco Malfoy calling someone beautiful, that isn’t himself. I’m shocked.” Draco just rolled his eyes at you.

“Well you are.”

“Thanks. So is that supposed to make me change my mind cause it totally” Draco smirked “doesn’t.” Draco’s smirk turned into a frown, and you then began to walk away and to your common room.

“Wait please, y/n. If the date sucks than you can leave but please give me a try. I’ll-I’ll do anything.”

You stopped walking and turned around. He looked at you hopefully. “Fine. I’ll go on a date with you, but you have to promise me you’ll stop being a grade A asshole.” He quickly nodded and ran up to you giving you a hug. “Ok, ok it’s not that big of a deal.” you said as you started pushing him off of you.

“Thank you y/n so much. I promise you won’t regret it.” He then began to run in the opposite direction as you. You watched as he left, “Dork” you mumbled to yourself.


It was the next Hogsmeade trip, which meant you had your date with Draco today. Draco actually did keep your promise, he wasn't actually an asshole most of the time. But either way you were still expecting this to be a prank by him and his friends, but you were actually excited about it. You saw Draco standing in the courtyard and you walked up to him.

“Hey y/n. You loo-k beautiful.” Draco nervously said.

“I’m just wearing a sweater and jeans but thanks.”

“Yea-a.” He started to blush “Well um shall we go?”

“Yes of course.” You both then walked to Hogsmeade. When you reached Hogsmeade, you both walked to the three broomsticks.

When you arrived you went over to a table and Draco politely pulled the seat out for you.

“Thanks.”

“Umm I’ll go get us some butterbeer for us. I mean unless you don’t want butterbeer. I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted butter-”

“Draco. Butterbeer is fine.”

“Yes umm right. I’ll be right back.” You watched as Draco leave to go get you a butterbeer.

As he ordered the butterbeers he couldn’t help but notice how sweaty and nervous he was. As the bartender gave Draco the butterbeers, he began to walk over to you. Right before he reached your table he gave himself a pep talk. 'Alright Draco you can do this. You’re a Malfoy, you’re a natural at this.’ He thought to himself.

“Alright, umm here’s your butterbeer.” Draco set the drink in front of you, and he sat opposite of you.

“Thanks.”

To say the date was going ok so far would be an understatement, it was terrible. You and Draco sat there in silence, only saying a couple of things to each other. You just kept your head down looking at your drink, while Draco just stared at you with doe eyes. He was so focused on how pretty he thought you looked he didn’t really realize how awkward the date really was.

Then if the date couldn’t get any worse it did. A few girls from your house walked threw the door. They always made fun of your weight, but you didn’t really pay them any mind, even though sometimes their words did hurt.

“Hey y/n.” One of them said as the rest of the girls laughed. You just ignored it, but Draco could sense the change in your eyes.

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Nope.” You smiled at Draco.

The group of girls stood right behind your table and you could hear them whispering. 'Omg you totally have to go over.’ 'He’ll totally forget about her once he sees you.’ When you heard those things you got nervous. What if one of them comes over here and he leaves you. Even if the date wasn’t going that great, you still didn’t want him to leave.

You watched as one of the girls of the group walk up to your table and sit next to Draco. You also watched as Draco didn’t even notice the girl sitting next to him, he was still staring at you. You all just sat there for an awkward second before the girl cleared her throat to get Draco attention. He looked over at her and then to you. You just rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“Ummm do I know you?” Draco asked the girl you let out a small chuckle.

“Well not really, but I wanted to get to know you.’' She flirted while undoing a button on her uniform, exposing more of her chest.

’'I didn’t know if you realized but we’re kind of on a date.” Draco then turned back towards you.

“Who? With this cow?” The girl laughed and you just looked back down at your drink.

“What did you call her?” Draco then stood up from his chair, the girl just looked up at Draco frightened.

“Draco just let it go.” You muttered trying to pull in down back in his seat by his shirt.

“No, no what did you call her?”

“A cow and you know it’s true.”

“Don’t call my girlfriend a cow you fucking bitch!” You looked up from your drink, eyes wide. You then saw Draco pick up his butterbeer and throw it in the girls face, then slamming the empty glass on the table. Your jaw dropped to the floor and you started laughing. Draco then took his jacket from the back of his chair, grabbed your hand and dragged you outside.

“That was fucking awesome!” Draco grinned and laughed.

“Thanks, she deserved it.” You realized you were still holding Draco’s hand, you were about to pull away from it, but then Draco pulled you into him.

You looked into his eyes as he looked into yours. “You know Malfoy I didn’t realize I was your girlfriend.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I just said that to make it more dramatic.” You laughed.

“Sure you did.” You then grabbed Draco’s collar and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled back from the kiss and he rested his forehead against yours.

“Listen I’m sorry this date sucked.” You looked at Draco.

“It was actually wasn’t that bad, you threw your butterbeer on some girl.” You both began to laugh “And don’t worry about, you just owe me a second date.” You said as you winked at him and began to walk up to the castle.

The Marauders + Cuddling

Sirius: He always needs attention. Like constantly. So when he’s feeling bad and gets whiny, his friends will always give in. “Moony, come lay with me!” “Jamsie, will you scratch my head?” “Wormy, can I lay my head in your lap?” Sometimes he is the catalyst for cuddling orgies in their dorm, or even the common room. These quickly become famous throughout Hogwarts.

Remus: Pretends he doesn’t need cuddles, but always secretly wants confirmation that his friends still like him. So when he sits just a bit closer to them than necessary, they know exactly what he needs. This always ends with Remus as a little cuddly, sweater-clad, chocolate nomming spoon in one of his friends’ arms. This is especially true after the full moon.

James: Obviously super buff and manly and totally not in need of physical affection, but every time Lily rejects him he comes up to the other Marauders with his head hung low and they’ll take him up to the dorm for an ego boosting cuddle party.

“Why doesn’t she like me? “What’s not to like? I’m good at Quidditch, I have great hair, I smell way better than Snivellus-”

“Course you do, Prongsie, she doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

Peter: Peter has a tendency to eat way too much at every major feast, and always ends up with a stomach ache. His friends quickly discover that the only way to get him to stop moaning about it is to lay with him and rub his stomach, just like his Mum used to. They continue to unashamedly do this through their seventh year.

[Petition to normalize casual friend cuddling, especially among guys]

Marauders Era 70s Music Headcanons
  • Sirius totally got his friends obsessed with Muggle 70s music (think of all the posters in Sirius’s room, you know there had to be Muggle ones to piss off his parents and there had to at least be one of Queen) do not fight me on this
  • Students trying to study in the Gryffindor common room could almost always hear The Romantics and The Knack and Ram Jam coming from the boys’ dormitory until all hours of the morning, especially whenever new singles came out
  • Lily, Marlene, Alice, Dorcas and Mary worshipping Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac as a whole
  • Remus with his school tie tied around his head, using random objects as microphones as they hung out in the dorm
  • Sirius declaring he must buy a motorbike if he’s ever going to be a true rock god
  • Wannabe David Bowie Peter Pettigrew
  • “He’s got to be an undercover wizard, guys, I’m calling it now.”
  • Smoking cigarettes by Hagrid’s hut “for the aesthetic”
  • James circa 1975 singing “Lily!” any time he sees her, in the same falsetto as Elton John when he sings “Bennie!” in Bennie and the Jets 
  • “SHE’S GOT ELECTRIC BOOBS, BELOW HER SHOES” and other misheard lyrics
  • Sirius calling McGonagall “My Minerva” to the tune of My Sharona
  • Lily convincing Remus that Paul McCartney’s solo music is actually really good, and lending him her copy of Band on the Run on vinyl, which becomes the album that helps him stay sane and calm during particularly rough months
  • James skipping all his classes the day Bohemian Rhapsody comes out just to lie in his bed with the curtains drawn and listen to it on repeat because “it’s pure musical genius, Moony!”
  • The time they all got a week’s detention for standing on the table in the Great Hall and performing Bohemian Rhapsody at breakfast, complete with help from Flitwick’s choir, and Dumbledore then waiving their punishment because in his words, it was the most impressive student-organized thing he’d ever seen
  • Remus hitting the high note in said performance of Bohemian Rhapsody, but cutting it short so it doesn’t start sounding like a howl
  • Growing their hair out solely for the purpose of head-banging 
  • Wearing band t-shirts under school robes
  • James and Lily dancing to She’s Always a Woman by Billy Joel at their wedding 
  • “Hey, Lily, can we name the baby Bono?”
  • “For the last time, no, James.”
  • “Can we name the cat Bono?”
  • “Actually…that’s not bad.”

anonymous asked:

I don't think it gets any more personal and privacy invading than this, but how do you think your and draco's sex life would be like? I'm in Slytherin.

Oh honey, honey…. this should be interesting. Here’s some alphabet headcanons.

A = Aftercare
(What they’re like after sex)

- Okay so, I firmly believe that Draco is an extremely attentive partner after sex; always looking to hold you, showering you compliments on your most insecure areas, staring lovingly as you doze off to sleep, all the fluff. However, I also like to think that he’s a bit self conscious given that he’s a perfectionist, so he tends to sneak in a few questions and comments that require validation on his performance. “That was amazing, darling…hopefully not just for me though, I can do it differently next time if you-” and you have no choice but to cut him off with kisses and reassuring praise.  

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- No doubt Draco is traditional in many respects, so he’s definitely attracted to your most feminine attributes. Your collarbones, the cupid’s bow of your lips, the small of your waist, and of course your ass. He’s forever looking for the opportunity to hold you from behind or clutch your bum in the corridors. He’s proud of his broad shoulders and muscular triceps, though you’re a fan of his toned torso and prominent hipbones.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

- He’s got a love-hate relationship with it. Nothing makes him feel more empowered or proud of his ownership than when his princess has a mouthful of his reward for her or coating her chest, but he’s definitely not one to let it linger on the sheets overnight. When he’s feeling particularly jealous or needy, he’ll cum inside of you - desperate to claim what’s his completely.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- Draco is secretly obsessed with the idea of potentially being caught, so he’s constantly pulling you into broom closets and abandoned classrooms to have his way with you. He makes no efforts to muffle your moans by covering your mouth and nothing gets him more excited than the threat of other people overhearing the two of you or better…catching a glimpse.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

- Despite his need for assurance after-the-fact, Draco is confident and skilled whilst performing. He has never shy’d from keeping it interesting, nor is he intimidated by the thought of what your exes may have brought to the bedroom. He knows what he’s doing and he’s always eager to please no matter what it takes. His stamina and enthusiasm often make for ample sweat, orgasms and exhaustion. My boy knows how to lay it down, okay? Don’t you dare doubt it.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

- Missionary, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. He thrives on your pleasure, so being able to watch your every eye roll, lip bite, and labored breath really drives him mad. He loves having access to your neck as he’s a biter, always leaving you with swollen lips and lovebites. When he’s on top of you is when he feels most in control and having you at his mercy is what he craves above all else.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

- Draco would be offended if you were to laugh during sex, refusing to believe that perhaps you were just a bit distracted or uncomfortable, he’d be sure to have a fit of anxiety thinking it was something to do with him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

- He keeps himself trimmed but expects you to be bare in your intimate areas. He likes a clean visual and being that oral is his preferred form of foreplay, he doesn’t want anything getting in the way.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

- Draco is passionate til the very end. Eye contact, sensual whispers, little things like tucking your hair behind your ear as he’s inside of you so he can kiss your forehead. He’s never quite gentle, but he still prefers to make love instead of just an impersonal fuck. He goes above and beyond to set the mood when he has the time or the incentive (anniversaries, birthdays, special occasions) and doesn’t miss a detail, down to the thread count of the sheets.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

- He doesn’t believe in masturbation and expects you to withhold from doing it, too. That’s what you have each other for, afterall. He doesn’t mind mutual masturbation for the sake of a good show, but he’d much rather pleasure and be pleasured than have you waste an orgasm on your fingers that he could have caught with his tongue.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

- There’s a reason he calls Lucius ‘Father’, okay? The more endearing term was ruined for him because Draco has a Daddy Kink and likes to be yours. He’s dominant and possessive but also loves the aspect of pampering and spoiling his princess both in and out of the bedroom. He has a strict set of rules you’re expected to abide by but he rewards you accordingly. When you’re a brat, he has no issue with bending you over his knee and correcting your behavior. He derives his pleasure from having total ownership of you, but he’s aware of how sacred the trust and respect that goes into a dd/lg relationship is and whenever possible, he showers you with affection and gifts and displays of his appreciation.  

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

- The Astronomy Tower, the sofas in the Common Room, and the Rose Garden behind the Manor. Always at odd hours of the night when there isn’t much else but the two of you and the stars out.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

- It really doesn’t take much, if I’m honest. A minor wardrobe malfunction, an innocent laugh that was just a little too breathy, a snog that lasted a tad too long - he’s ready. He likes to celebrate his Quidditch victory’s with sexual favors from you as winning seems to inflate both his ego and his libido. Sometimes an argument with enough heat and tension will result in rough, spontaneous sex and other times, the waiting game and inability to have you at that very moment because you’re in classes or whatever is enough to drive him mental all morning.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- Draco does not like sharing, let alone the love of his life, so threesomes are most certainly not to be considered. He likes things to be cleanly as I’ve said, so anything involving any bodily fluids that aren’t cum or saliva are a definite no-no. He doesn’t like hardcore bondage and he will never support any form of roleplay because ‘Who I am, as I am, should be enough.’

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

- This is his favorite, even moreso than doing the deed itself. When you’re in full submission and at the will of his mouth is when he’s happiest, but having you take him in your throat puts him in a whole other element.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

- Draco is forceful, but his pace is dependent on the mood of it all. Sometimes it’s slow and each thrust is with a passionate, powerful intent. Sometimes it’s sloppy and erratic but still strong.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

- He always says that he refuses to start anything he can’t finish, so he doesn’t mind having time restrictions so long as the both of you leave satisfied. Most of your quickies are between classes or just before Quidditch practice. Sometimes, if he really can’t help himself, they happen during dinner whilst everyone else is occupied in the Great Hall and he knows he can have you almost anywhere else in the castle.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

- Being that the trust the both of you have established is so unwavering, there isn’t much he wouldn’t try with you. He’s patient and invested when the two of you do decide to experiment but you’re so content with your sex life as it is that the time to switch things up dramatically doesn’t often arise.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

- Quickies for Draco are about 15 minutes, and that’s after a significant amount of teasing and foreplay. When you have the time to really delve into it, it can take anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour for a round. Multiple rounds are common but sometimes you’re just too tired and sore to go a second time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

- As with Masturbation, Draco prefers that all of your pleasure comes from he alone.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- Literally constantly. Every minute he’s with you there’s a hand on your thigh or sliding up your skirt, a nibble on your earlobe, a kiss on your neck, a squeeze of your bum - you find it annoying, really. He especially likes teasing in front of his friends or busied areas which makes it all the more difficult.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

- He’s vocal; talking to you and giving orders. Calling you sweet names and not bothering to hide his grunts and groans of pleasure. He works hard to make sure the most satisfied, guttural moans and screams leave your lips. When you have no choice but to be quiet, he makes sure to stay close enough to catch your whimpers and soft cries for more.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

- My Random Headcanon is that he goes for girls who are seemingly very modest and composed. I think Draco likes to ‘pollute’ the women he dates, he likes knowing they’re only naughty for him alone. He doesn’t want a girl who’s got a reputation for being anything other than a prude because he likes being your one weakness. He also values public image so highly that to have a girl that other’s view as respectable and unassuming is perfect for him. People are always shocked when they do manage to be within earshot of your sexcapades and that’s how he likes it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

- Most likely around 8 or 9 inches with some girth to it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

- Draco is insatiable. Obviously.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- He tends to sleep within a half hour of the two of you reaching your highs but if he has other obligations to get on with then he has no problem forcing himself out of bed and tending to it. He’s relaxed after sex, not so much sleepy.

anonymous asked:

you should write a meta post on why you think reyna is lesbian!! i love your metas they're so good

Hello, non! Thank you, lol. I broke out the big guns for this—capital letters and all, lmao. (Though it’s not proofread because I jumped the gun and got too excited once it was done so………………don’t judge me)

First off: I want to make it abundantly clear that I am not trying to talk people out of their interpretations of Reyna. I just…think she’s a lesbian, and think there’s a lot of textual backing to support me. My word isn’t gospel and a lot of these passages are subjective, and I am well aware that there is room for disagreement. But I figured it was about time to lay out why I feel so strongly the way I do, and what subtext I keep referring to when I’m making other points, especially after being asked!

AND A DISCLAIMER: I never read BOO. So I really am not claiming to be the ultimate authority here—this is just what I see, what I like to see, and my reasons for interpreting it the way that I do.

Keep reading

Puppy Protip

Does your puppy sit perfectly at home, and then “ignore” you in public?

Does your dog behave for one person in the family and not for anyone else?

Have you taught a trick in one area of the house, only to try again in a different room and discover that puppy doesn’t seem to know it anymore?

Originally posted by jaalalee

Congratulations! Your puppy doesn’t generalise well! (I say congratulations because it confirms that he is, in fact, a puppy who learns things in puppy ways.)

When dogs and puppies learn a behaviour, they learn it specific to that situation. Did you just teach puppy to sit? Fantastic! Puppy has learned to sit in that room, for that person, whilst they wear those clothes and speak in that tone of voice. This is just how dogs learn. 

As humans it’s very frustrating, because we tend to generalise naturally. When we see these behaviours, people often call the dogs “stubborn” (nb: stubbornness does NOT exist in the dog world), when really, it’s just a different way of learning.

And it is so common for owners for come into puppy school and get frustrated because “he sits perfectly at home! I promise we’ve taught him sit!”

I totally do believe you. But the key word is at home. Puppy has never sat in my class before. Puppy doesn’t even know that he has to sit in my class.

It applies to grown dogs, as well. Romeo recently learned how to jump through a hoop on command. When I trained this, the little genius absolutely nailed it in no time. When I went back for another session, his brain just fell out of his head and he had no idea anymore. The issue? I had always trained with a yellow hoop, and this time I was using a green one. When I swapped back to yellow, he was back to normal.

How do we fix this? Patience and re-training. When your puppy or dog learns a new behaviour quite well (in that you could place a $50 bet that he would perform that behaviour when asked to), take them into a different room and make them do it again. Chances are you will have to retrain the behaviour somewhat. When they master it in that different room, take them into the backyard and do it there. Take them for a short walk down the street and do it there. Get them to do it for other people: people of different ages, people with different skin colours, people wearing hats or sunnies, people with long hair, people with short hair. 

Manually show them that when you give that cue, the same behaviour is always required, no matter where you are or who says it. They’ll get the idea eventually!

Spanish False Cognates

A false cognate or “false friend” is a word that looks like something in your language that you think is the same word, but it’s totally different. And a partial false cognate is one that could be the same word you think it is, but also might not be.

A common false cognate for Spanish is la ropa which is “clothes/clothing” and not “rope” (la soga); a common partial false cognate is el elevador which in Mexico could be “elevator” but most of the Spanish-speaking world uses el acensor… where el elevador tends to mean “hoist” or sometimes “dumbwaiter” or “electrical amp”


  • abandonar = doesn’t always mean “to abandon”, sometimes it means “to vacate” or “to leave (a room/area)”
  • el acta / las actas  = does NOT mean “act”; el acta means “the minutes (of a meeting)”, “a certificate”, or in legal situations can mean “contract/accord”
  • actual = in Spanish actual means “current” or “happening now” or in art situations it’s “contemporary”, similarly actualmente means “recently” and actualizar means “to update”
  • adicto/a = in some situations adicto/a means “an addict”… in some contexts it means “fan” like a fan of a celebrity, really it’s used more along the lines of “fan” as in “fanatic”
  • la advertencia = la advertencia means “warning” or “advisory”, the verb advertir is usually “to warn”; an “advertisement” is el anuncio and “to advertise” is anunciar 
  • americano/a = can be used for American (from the US) but it more literally means “from the Americas”… meaning North OR South America; technically Mexicans, Argentinians, Canadians, and people from the US are americanos… for “from the US” the more accurate word is estadounidense meaning from los Estados Unidos
  • aplicar = usually aplicar means “to apply” as in “to stick on”; it doesn’t mean “to apply for (a position)” which is solicitar and an “application” for jobs etc. is la solicitud
  • apreciar = doesn’t really mean “to appreciate” the way we mean it; apreciar is usually “to put a price on” or “to measure value”. You tend to say agradecer “to be grateful for” as in te lo agradezco “I appreciate that” more literally “I am grateful to you for it”
  • aprobar = can mean “to approve” or “to pass a test”
  • el argumento = el argumento is more usually “the plot (of a story)”, but it can be “argument” in the sense of “point of view” or “stance (on an issue)”… usually an actual fight/argument is la pelea or la disputa
  • el arsenal = in some cases it means “arsenal” for artillery; it sometimes means “navy yard” or “shipyard”
  • asistir = usually means “to attend”; occasionally means “to assist” but it’s better to use ayudar “to help”
  • la audiencia = in some cases it does mean “audience” but usually that’s in the sense of someone listening; la audiencia means “audience” more usually as “meeting” or a “hearing” with someone… while el público is what gets used for “crowd/audience” although some places use la audiencia more 
  • la aventura = means both “adventure” and “(love) affair”
  • avisar = avisar is “to warn” and el aviso is “warning”; to “advise” is aconsejar “to counsel”
  • el binomio = in mathematics it’s “binomial”; in most everyday discussions el binomio is the term for a name with a hyphen in it like arte-poesía or something like that, it gets used for the “joining of two names”
  • bizarro/a = in some places it means “bizarre” or “odd”, but it usually is “gallant” or “courageous”; saying it’s “bizarre” is extraño/a or raro/a 
  • bravo/a = doesn’t really mean “brave” it means “reckless” or “easily angered”, occasionally it means “soldier”… in Spanish “brave” is normally valiente and “bravery” is usually el valor
  • el campo = in Spanish el campo is “field” or “countryside”; a “camp” is el campamento 
  • cancelar = sometimes means “to erase”, but it also means “to settle (a debt)” or “to pay (a bill)”
  • el/la canciller = sometimes it means “Chancellor”, but it tends to have a wide usage for any foreign minister or ambassador
  • capable = in Spanish “capable” is capaz… saying capable in Spanish means “able to be castrated”
  • la carpeta = in Spanish this means “folder” or “portfolio”… a “carpet” is la alfombra
  • la casualidad = in Spanish this means “luck” or “chance”; por casualidad is “by chance”
  • catedrático/a = this has nothing to do with cathedrals, in Spanish it means any professor at a university who has tenure. The connection is probably to the idea of la cátedra which is “podium”, but churches were very much centers of learning so maybe?
  • el charlatán / la charlatana = means both “charlatan” but it can also be “talkative” or “chatterbox” from charlar “to talk”
  • el colegio = most places use el colegio to mean “high school / secondary school” but it’s usually a private school; la secundaria tends to be public, and la universidad is “college / uni(versity)”… and el colegio is occasionally used to mean “group of intellectuals / group of theory”
  • colorado/a = does not mean “colored” which is usually tener color (or gente de color for “people of color” in antiquated settings)… the term colorado/a almost always means “red” as in the state Colorado or one of the expressions for “to blush” ponerse colorado/a …makeup “blush/rouge” is el colorete
  • el compromiso = sometimes means “agreement”, sometimes it means “dilemma”… and in some settings compromiso is “engagement” as comprometido/a can be “fiancee” (as can prometido/a without the com)
  • la concentración = means “mental concentration”, or “concentration (chemistry)” but it also means “gathering of people” and sometimes “protest” although you sometimes see manifestación for that
  • la conferencia = typically la conferencia means “lecture / presentation” or another word for “conversation”… it can be “a conference” but for “conventions” you usually say el congreso since la conferencia is very… person standing at the front of a lecture hall giving a seminar with powerpoint kind of vibe
  • constipado/a = means “to have a cold”… saying “constipated” is estreñido/a
  • conveniente = sometimes “convenient” but normally conveniente means “proper” or “practical” as in “something that is advisable, wise, or just”
  • la convicción = does mean “conviction” for beliefs; does not mean “conviction” in the legal sense, “to convict” is condenar “to condemn” 
  • la copa = la copa exclusively refers to “wine glass / goblet” or “the cup (of a sports/prize cup)”… el vaso is used for “water glass”, and la taza “coffee cup / teacup”
  • la criatura = sometimes means “creature”, sometimes means “infant/baby” which can be a jarring partial cognate trust me
  • correspondiente = is used as an adjective meaning “matching” or “corresponding”… a journalist/reporter “correspondent” is el/la corresponsal 
  • la cuestión = this means “the matter” as in “the question of (something)”… a “question” you ask is la pregunta
  • el curso = means “course of events” or something that follows/runs like the “course” of a river, but in school terms la materia is “course / subject” and sometimes la asignatura… but some places do use el curso to mean “course” for school, it’s just not always like that
  • cínico/a = means both “cynical” and “irresponsible” in Spanish, though you normally see it as “cynical”
  • la decepción = ALWAYS means “disappointment”; “deception” or “deceit” is la mentira “lie” or el engaño “deception”
  • demandar = usually doesn’t mean “to demand”; in legal cases demandar is “to sue”, while exigir is “to demand”… and la demanda is “a legal case / suit”
  • deshonesto/a = sometimes means “dishonest” but occasionally means “lewd”… sort of like how we say “honest work” which is a nice way of saying “not illegal or indecent”
  • discutir = usually means “to argue”… “to discuss” is usually just hablar because discutir can have a combative tone to it, you also see debatir “to debate” or parlar / charlar “to chat”… formally platicar “to discuss”… and “discussion” is often la conversación or el debate depending on context
  • el disgusto = means “displeasure” or “a tough situation”; in Spanish “disgust” is el asco as in asqueroso/a “disgusting” or dar asco “to disgust / to gross out”
  • el dormitorio = in some places it means “bedroom”, but it does always mean “dormitory” as in college/uni… literally it’s “sleeping room”
  • la droguería = in Spanish this is actually a lot of different things; “paint store”, “hardware store”, sometimes “pharmacy” or “convenience store”… most of the time if you’re at the drug store that’s all medicine you say la farmacia or la botica… or older things would be la botica / el boticario “apothecary”
  • educado/a = most often means “polite”, not “educated”… to say “educated” you tend to say tener buena formación or standard inteligente or listo/a … you do get a good pun out of la buena educación “good education / good manners” and la mala educación for “bad education / bad manners”
  • efectivo = in Spanish en efectivo normally means “in cash”; eficaz is “effective / efficient”
  • embarazada = means “pregnant” (embarazado is technically accurate but usually shows up when talking about seahorses); saying “embarrassed” is avergonzado/a, apenado/a, humillado/a… things like that. You can say embarazoso/a for “embarrassing / awkward”; and note el embarazo is “pregnancy”
  • escolar = means “related to school” or “scholarly”… “a scholar” is normally erudito/a or estudioso/a or occasionally licenciado/a meaning “graduate / has a degree / titled”
  • la estampa = is a religious icon and/or a card with a picture on it; normally use la estampilla for “stamp” or el sello “seal / stamp”
  • el éxito = means “success”; an “exit” is la salida or in theater terms “an exit” is el mutis
  • experimentar = means “to experiment” as in try out, but “to experience” is normally sentir “to feel”
  • la fábrica = means “factory”; la tela is “fabric/material”
  • la firma = means “signature” as firmar “to sign”; it does not mean “a firm” which is often la oficina or la empresa or la compañía
  • fiscal / el/la fiscal = means “fiscal” in the sense of money, but in law el/la fiscal means “prosecutor”
  • gentilmente = is archaic now but it means “with kindness” or “courteously”… it means “genteel” not “gentle” which is suave, so “gently” is suavemente
  • la gracia = means both “grace” and “funny/joke” as in tener gracia ‘to be funny”
  • la granada = is “pomegranate” and “grenade”
  • la grosería = means “rudeness” or “grossness”; a “grocery” is normally la tienda (de comestibles) or el mercado, and “groceries” is sometimes la comida / los comestibles or sometimes los abarrotes
  • humano/a = is both “human” and “humane”
  • ignorar = can be “to not be aware of” which is not as strong as “to ignore” in a way
  • ilustrado/a = means “illustrated” and “enlightened”
  • intervenir = means “to intervene”, “to obstruct”, “to operate on”, “to bug / to tap (phones/homes)”, or “to bail out”
  • intoxicado/a = has a bunch of meanings; it can mean “upset stomach” / “vomiting” / “food poisoning”… in addition to “poisoned” (envenenado/a) and good old “intoxicated”, although you can go into whether that’s borracho/a “drunk” or drogado/a “on drugs” if you want… intoxicado/a really means “some substance has a negative reaction with your body” whether it’s food or drugs or alcohol
  • invertir = means both “to invert” and “to invest”
  • la jornada = rarely means “journey”, la jornada means “work day” or “a day’s worth of (something)”… occasionally it’s “business trip”
  • introducir = means “to insert”; “to introduce (someone) to (someone)” is presentar
  • la lectura = means “reading” or “passage”; a “lecture” is normally la conferencia 
  • la lujuria = means “lust” as in the sin; “luxury” is el lujo
  • el mandatario / la mandataria = means “executive” or “chief” or “person who calls the shots”, usually in a governing sense… occasionally “head of state” or “representative [someone who was sent somewhere]”; saying something is “mandatory” is obligatorio/a
  • el matrimonio = means both “matrimony/marriage” and “a couple / married couple”
  • molestar = means “to annoy”, it has no sexual connotation in Spanish; you would say acosar “to stalk” or abusar “to abuse”, or violar “to rape”
  • moroso/a = doesn’t mean “morose”, it means “someone who hasn’t paid” as in “defaulting”
  • la noticia = usually in plural, las noticias “news” and la noticia “a piece of news” or “new event” is different than “a notice” which is usually el aviso for a “warning”
  • la ocasión = means “occasion” or “event”… in some contexts it means a “big sale” or “bargain”
  • la ocurrencia = means “an idea” but more usually means “a snarky comment”; an “occurrence” is el suceso or el evento usually
  • el oficio = is not “office” as in a physical place (la oficina), but el oficio means “occupation” or “vocation”… usually it’s a skill you do by hand like physical labor so think plumbers, electricians, carpenters, masons…
  • oficioso/a = does not mean “officious” (entremetido/a), it means “blue collar” or “diligent”… in some cases oficioso/a means “unrecognized” but in a lot of older contexts it kind of means “working class” or “chipper/energetic”
  • paralizar = means both “to paralyze” and “to halt”; some places use it as “to freeze (assets)” though I see suspender or congelar more for that
  • el/la pariente = means “relative” and los parientes are “relatives”… the “parents” are los padres (or las madres where applicable)
  • particular = means “private”, “individual”, “limited access”… or it means “peculiar”; it isn’t said of people who are “finicky”, they use exigente “demanding” or something regional like tiquismiquis
  • perfeccionar = usually means “to perfect / to improve” not always “to make perfect”… you see it a lot with languages or acquired training/skills perfeccionar means mejorar “to get better” in a sense
  • plantear = means “to state an opinion”; “to plant” is plantar or sembrar 
  • la populación = tends to mean “the act of populating/inhabiting”, while “population” is la población 
  • el partido = means “political party” or “a match (in sports)”… while la fiesta is “party”
  • precioso/a = means both “precious” and “cute / good-looking” for people or things like es un vestido precioso “it’s a pretty dress” or ella es preciosa “she’s cute”… precioso/a for people tend to be younger people or kids, otherwise you tend towards guapo/a
  • preciso/a = means “precise” and “necessary”
  • pretender = doesn’t really mean “to pretend” which is fingir “to feign”, usually pretender means “to attempt” or “to reach for”, in more formal or older settings pretender means “to court / woo”, and los pretendientes are “suitors” in romance. You can use pretender as like “pretender to the throne”; this is because it’s someone “reaching” for something they haven’t earned, but you may see mentiroso/a “liar” or farsante “liar / imposter” for this too.
  • el preservativo = means “condom”; preservatives in food tend to be los conservantes
  • privado/a = doesn’t exactly mean “private” but more “personal”, so el correo privado means “personal mail” not specifically private or hidden; think “private property”
  • la promoción = used to refer exclusively to “store promotion” or “news / something published”… today it can mean el ascenso “job promotion” too but some places prefer el ascenso
  • realizar = means “to finalize” or “to make a reality”; “to realize” as in “to have a realization/sudden thought” is darse cuenta
  • recordar = means “to recall” or “to remind”; but grabar is “to record” and registrar is “to record / to make a record of”
  • el refrigerio = means “a snack”, it’s kind of like “a nibble” or a small midmorning/midday snack; there are lots of regionalisms for “refrigerator” like el refrigerador or la nevera (which is literally related to nieve “snow”)
  • regalar = means “to give a gift” (el regalo), people use agasajar for “to regale” though it’s a showy word by itself
  • regular = means “regular / ordinary” but can be used as estar regular “to be fine” or “to be so-so”
  • relevante = means “relevant” but also means “important” or “noteworthy”
  • el resorte = in Spanish el resorte is “a metal spring”
  • la reunión = very often means “a meeting/gathering”, not a “reunion”
  • salvaje = means “savage”; but “salvage” is usually salvar or salvaguardar or as a noun el salvamento 
  • sano/a = means “healthy”; cuerdo/a means “sane”… la sanidad means “sanitation”, while la cordura is “sanity”
  • sensible = in Spanish sensible means “sensitive”; sensato/a means “sensible”
  • la sentencia = means “sentence” as in “jail sentence”
  • la sopa = means “soup”; el jabón is “soap”
  • el suburbio = can mean “suburb” but in many Latin American countries it means “slums/shanty towns” not the US idea of “suburb”
  • el tipo = means both “a type” but is slang for “a guy/dude”
  • vago/a = means both “vague” and “lazy”
  • el voto = means “a vote” but also means “a vow”