-Aliens seeing how many times humans declare war on each other throughout history and thinking that humans enjoy war as some sort of sport or spectacle
-Aliens coming into possession of human sci-fi horror films and being worried that their human companions are afraid of them
-Aliens coming into possession of positive human representations of aliens and forming huge crushes on Mr. Spock and ET
-Aliens first discovering humans through stray TV broadcasts of the Brady Bunch, Grease, and other vintage tv shows. Intergalactic fashion suddenly shifts to favor clothing similar to 50s greaser jackets and sweaters
-Aliens falling in love with human fashion and parading around in poorly applied makeup (the said aliens watched dozens of tutorials on YouTube), bonus points if the alien is traditionally masculine looking. “I look like your human goddess Beyonce and you cannot convince me otherwise, human Steve.”
-Aliens falling in love with human languages and printing human words all over their clothing like Americans do with French words. However, they often mix up the languages by picking and choosing which words they like the best, so the phrases turn out like “C'est good, nyet?”
-Aliens relating more to neurodivergent people because of how their brains work, bonding with humans over different strengths and weaknesses
-Aliens seeing all the ways humans go thrill-seeking (rollercoasters, skydiving, bungee-jumping, water slides) and scolding their humans for putting themselves in danger oN PURPOSE
-Aliens tasting spicy foods for the first time and and scolding their humans for eating FIRE
-Aliens being worried that their human love interests find them unattractive and trying different things to look more human
-Aliens being confused by human daydreaming and infant “pretending”. Why would humans want to be anything else? They are already perfect.
-Aliens having the same weird fantasy of being “abducted” and “probed” by humans that we have of them
-Aliens having weird 70s style videos on “Human Etiquette”, with incredibly inaccurate info on how humans actually act
-Aliens first coming into contact with dogs and animals because we sent those into space first, assuming that humans are the same and attempting to placate them with tummy rubs and rubs behind the ears
okay, so in the very early stages of the original beauty and
the beast, gaston was an aristocrat. that eventually got scrapped, but oh what if it didn’t
so say gaston is the son of someone very high up in the
royalty chain, someone who’s parents are important enough that he spends an
awful lot of time at the castle? and our prince adam isn’t really down with
this whole ~being a prince~ thing, he’s a brat, like so many other kids are
brats (but these kids don’t get turned into beasts by random witches, like i’m
sorry but i’ll never not think that beast didn’t get the short end of the stick
there) and so he spends the least about of time possible parading about with a
crown on his head. he likes going outside, like riding his horses and playing
in the woods, and all sorts of other things that make his parents shake their
heads and despair at the inability to have another child, because their son is a small disaster.
and here comes gaston, who’s older and more long suffering.
gaston in naturally dramatic, okay, he likes being flashy and fun and loud, all
the things the son of a noble shouldn’t be. so by the point he meets adam he’s
listened to his parents, folded himself up nice and tight into this quiet boy
who just doesn’t want any trouble. adam loves
trouble. if he can’t find it, he invents it.
so he grabs onto gaston like glue, and gaston is irritated,
but he’s the prince, he can’t say
anything or his parents will kill him. so he lets adam keep dragging him out
horseback riding and hunting and rock climbing and all sorts of things little
noble boys aren’t supposed to do. they spare, and no matter that gaston is
bigger and older he never wins, adam always ends up pinning him to the ground
with his arm to his throat and he’d more irritated about it if the prince didn’t
look so delighted every time he won. adam loves all the animals that he’s not
interested in eating, and gaston tries to point out that it’s a little weird
how thrilled adam is to take down a deer when two minute later he’s trying to
entice a wolf to come closer so he can pet it, and also holy shit adam that’s a wolf what’s wrong with you
adam loves his staff, the people who do their best to reign
in this little terror but don’t try that hard, because the thing about bratty
kids is that they’re rarely brats all the time, as an adult you swing between
wanting to strangle them and finding them so adorable and charming your chest
hurts. so mrs. potts indulges him, likes the way he’s only ever really patient
while he’s playing with her son chip when he’s snuck into the kitchen to beg
her for some extra cookies. lumiere and cogsworth are his tutors and spend more
time arguing with each other than teaching him, and he’s delighted by that.
and so adam is this loud, exuberant little prince who slowly
but surely picks at gaston’s barrier until gaston almost feels like himself again,
and adam doesn’t do what his parents did. adam doesn’t make fun of him for how
much he cares about his hair, about how he hates dirt under his fingernails. as
long as gaston keeps following him into dangerous situations, adam doesn’t care
about much of anything, and gaston loves him for it.
and gaston’s on the cusp of teenagerhood when he realizes he loves adam, the prince, this is awful
and he immediately has a panic attack over it, he’s to be lord and adam is to
be king, it will never work, oh, and adam probably doesn’t like boys, and – oh my
god, all those schoolyard taunts about him being gay we’re right this is a nightmare.
he’d freak out about this properly and probably go charging
to the castle to confess his love in true embarrassing 12 year old fashion –
except his parents set him down, pale, and say, “they’re gone, they’re all
gone, the king and queen were found dead and the prince is gone and now a
monster lives in the castle.” and of course gaston takes this to the most
logical conclusion – a beast broke into the castle, killed the love of his
young life, and now he’s claimed the castle for his own.
this is gaston’s defining moment okay, this is the point
where he snaps and never goes back.
he rebels against his parents, refuses to fit himself back into the mold of the
perfect son, tries to live his life like adam would have wanted him to. that
means being exactly who he is and damn the consequences. he focuses on his hair
and his clothes and his looks, he pursues hunting because it reminds him of
adam, because so much of their friendship took place in the woods, covered in
mud and laughing. he pursues hunting because, one day, when he’s the very best
he’s going to go the castle and kill the beast that killed adam. and his
parents are furious about all of this and they disown him in favor of his young
siblings and he just. doesn’t give a shit.
so he moves to the town, and everyone loves him, of course
they love him. he’s loud and arrogant, but – he’s not cruel. he’s beautiful and brings in more pelts and meat than any
other hunter and gaston doesn’t miss the days of being a young lordling in the
slightest. but girls keep throwing themselves at him and he doesn’t know how to
keep refusing either outing himself or hurting their feelings, so he goes to
belle. belle, who is every inch as pretty he is. belle, who is smart and quiet
and kind in a reserved sort of way. if there’s anyone who won’t judge him, it’s
so he goes to her, and tells her the truth – that he only
likes men, that he’s not interested in advertising the fact, and asks her to
pretend to be his lady. and belle, kind sweet belle, agrees. she does it out of
sense of duty to help those in need, because nothing she knows of gaston says
she will enjoy this. but she’s proven wrong, because gaston was raised to be a lord of course he’s educated, just
because he doesn’t really care about any of that stuff doesn’t mean he doesn’t
know it. and belle can speak with him like she can no other, because gaston has
more formal education than anyone else in this village. and to their surprise,
gaston and belle become friends, become the closest of friends, and gaston hasn’t
known this closeness since adam, although it’s different because he loves belle
but he’s not in love with belle.
and one day belle and her father are out traveling and
sudden snowstorm forces them into the castle. belle knows there’s some sort of
monster that supposedly lives there, but it’s either the castle for refuge or
dying of cold outside, so into the castle they go. and instead of a hideous
monster there’s adam, the beast. he’s rude and gruff and calls them twelve
kinds of idiots for getting caught in a snowstorm in the first place. he offers
them a room before sulking back into his study, watching the last petal
threaten to the fall from the rose.
the castle is so excited to have guests, to have a young
girl that may be their saving grace, and beast doesn’t know how to tell them
that he likes girls well enough, but the only person he’s ever loved is a
prickly, stuffy little boy who used to wring his hands together whenever they
went looking for wolves. the storm doesn’t abate, and belle and her father
stay. beast likes belle, likes how much she loves his library and the courteous
way she speaks to all his staff even tho they’re all furniture, and he wishes
he could love her, she is a woman that deserves to be loved. but he can’t.
back in the village, gaston has had it. the beast took adam from him, and he wont allow that thing
to take belle. he rallies the villagers and goes marching to the castle,
determined to save belle and her father, determined to kill the thing that
so they storm the castle and he and the beast fight. belle
and her father rush forward to stop the rest of the angry village men, and
belle is screaming at gaston to stop, that things aren’t as they seem. but he’s
mad with bloodlust, with revenge, and he’s about to take the beast’s head off
with his axe when the beast lunges and pushes him to the ground, pinning him
with an arm to his throat. and the muscle memory is so sudden and visceral that
gaston freezes and stares at the snarling beast and whispers, “adam?”
and the beast blinks, and pulls back a little, and goes …… “gaston!?”
literally everyone is so confused, but they only get more
confused when gaston throws himself at the beast and there’s a rush of magic as
the last petal falls and the spell is broken. gaston sees beast for who he
really is, loves him wholly and completely in the way only children can, and
the curse is broken.
so gaston goes from having the beast in his arms to having a
man, and he kisses him, outing himself in front of the whole village and not
caring in the slightest. “i’ve missed you,” adam says, reaching out a hand to
cup gaston’s cheek.
his staff are people again, and the cloud of darkness that
had fallen over the castle is lifted. the old and irritable third cousin twice
removed who’d been running the country is more than happy to hand it back over
to adam, so happy in fact that he doesn’t question anything about this
incredibly weird situation.
gaston and adam were children with a children’s love, but as
adam gets his castle and kingdom up and running again, gaston is there. and
their love deepens, and strengthens, and becomes something much more real and
true than it ever was before. and gaston knows he can’t keep this, that adam
will need to take a queen and gaston won’t be able to be with him after that.
except no one told adam that, because he goes to belle who
just, never left the castle because she likes it and it likes her and her two
favorite people are here. and also they’ll pry her from that library over her
dead body. “hey,” adam says, “so, i’m kind of the king now.”
“i noticed,” belle answers, and doesn’t look up from her
adam considers closing it, but also considers that he likes
his hands attached to his wrists. “want to get married? we’ll need to produce
an heir or two, but beyond that you’ll get all the books you want and a whole
country to boss around.” one of the things adam had quickly learned was that
belle loved bossing people around.
belle doesn’t look up from her book. he hadn’t honestly
expected her too. “okay. I’m dating plumette. im going to keep doing that.”
“nice,” he says, because plumette is a lot prettier now that
she isn’t a feather duster.
so adam find gaston and tells him that he’s marrying belle,
and gaston’s whole heart breaks but it makes sense, adam and belle make sense
together, and he wishes he could make himself hate either of them but he can’t
because he loves them both. but then adam is talking about how belle will have
the rooms next to theirs, and gaston should probably stop paying rent for his
house in the village, he lives in a literal palace, come on now.
and gaston figures out that adam is planning to stay with him, that belle is his wife and queen in name only and and gaston will
continue to be the one in his heart and in his bed. adam is talking about how
they all really need to sit down and do something about the redistribution of
tax revenue, and they should probably do it before the wedding because
otherwise their subjects will only show up to throw fruit at them. gaston cuts
him off by pressing his king and love of his life against the wall and kissing
cogsworth and lumiere walk by and pause mid-argument to wolf
whistle at them before continuing on their way. gaston and adam end up having
to hold each other up as they laugh so hard they can’t breath.
Pairing: Jughead x reader Description: reader is in love with Jughead. Jughead is with Betty. Warnings: SAD SAD SAD ANGST I’m on my way to the hospital to take my mom and I was feeling this after seeing a spoiler from 1x06 sigh THIS HAS 4,274 WORDS AND IT TOOK ME FOUR DAYS CAN YOU BELIEVE —————————
I watched it happen from the very beginning. I noticed the very first time Jughead looked at her differently, the very first time he blushed when she complimented him, the very first time Jughead showed signs of jealousy when Trevor had asked her out. I watched it all unfold from the very beginning. When Jughead told me he and Betty kissed, I did my best to be the extremely supportive best friend, convincing him to show the pretty blonde he was interested in her. When he did, I helped him plan the entire date out, from where to when, to picking his outfit out for him since he was absolutely helpless when it came to dating. I smoothed out the shoulders of his shirt, fixed his beanie, and sent him on his way.
That night, when he came back to my house to replay all the highlights of his date, he had a smile on his face almost the entire time. It was something I had only seen a handful of times, so even though my heart was breaking, I was still happy that something made him smile this big, even if it wasn’t with me. When Jughead and Betty started dating, I began to slowly lose my best friend. He and Betty were always going together on the “super sleuth” cases, and I was hardly ever invited despite being the graphic designer and editor for The Blue and Gold. It didn’t bother me though, because I figured I would just see Jughead at Pop’s. I was wrong.
Jughead and Betty liked their alone time. They hardly ever invited us to hang out with them, and when we did, the rest of us felt like we were intruding. If I did have any alone time with Jug, his nose was in his phone, texting Betty the whole time. As supportive as I tried to be for the both of them, I was tired of pretending. All I ever did was pretend.
I walked in to the blue and gold after school, the room vacant. Jughead had probably waited for Betty outside of her history class so they could walk together to the newsroom; he used to do that with me all the time. I sighed, sitting down at one of the seats in the room and pulling out my laptop. I set it on the desk and began designing the cover for this week’s newspaper.
Eventually, Jughead and Betty showed up, not even noticing I had been in the room. They were chatting about something, both blushing and bumping each other playfully. I mentally rolled my eyes and kept my nose in my laptop, not wanting to watch them be all lovey-dovey or whatever. A minute passed, which turned in to five, and then ten, and then fifteen, and by this time I was beyond upset. Neither had said a word to me at all.
I finished the designs for the paper and quietly closed my laptop, zipping open my bag and stuffing it in before lifting it over my shoulder. I stood up, my chair emitting a sharp noise as the heel of the object scraped against the old tile floor. Jughead and Betty’s heads turned at the sound, watching me push my chair back in.
“Oh my gosh, y/n! When did you come in?” Betty asked. I know she didn’t mean it in a rude way whatsoever, she was one of my best friends, but it angered me. Deciding to keep my anger bottled in, I acted like I didn’t hear her, making my way towards the door of the classroom. I walked out, making my way down the hall.
“Y/n! Wait!” Jughead called my name, and a hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.
“What’s wrong?” Jughead inquired, his hand sliding down my arm to go to my wrist. I yanked my body back lightly, looking at him in surprise and disgust.
“What’s wrong?” I repeated, my tone of voice obviously showing signs of outrage at this point. “Jughead, if you don’t know what’s wrong right now, then I guess we aren’t as close as I thought we were.” I turned away from him, walking down the hallway again.
Jughead grabbed my shoulder again, turning me and grabbing my hand. “Don’t say that.” Jughead spoke softly, his jaw clenching.
“Really? Jughead, you did not notice I was in the room for fifteen minutes! You did not become aware of my presence in the slightest! And that isn’t even the first time!” I screamed, shoving him away from me harshly. Jughead stumbled back, frozen in shock by what I had just done.
“You don’t even care about me anymore! I don’t even exist to you!” My fingers dug in to my palms as I yelled at him.
“So yeah, we aren’t as close as I thought we were. In fact, I’ve never been farther apart from you.” I turned, walking away again.
“y/n!“ Jughead called my name and I stopped.
"Don’t, Jughead.” I cut him off, turning to face him one more time. “For somebody who claims to be an amazing observer, you sure are pretty damn oblivious.” I walked down the hallway of the empty school, turning a corner and making my way home.
It was 5:39 when my phone rang, interrupting me from my moping over Jughead and Betty. I had stayed home from school the past few days, blaming it on how “sick” I had been feeling, which was bullshit, but only I knew it was bullshit. Or so I thought.
“Hey Ronnie.” I answered the phone.” Now’s not a good time- “
“Too fucking bad, princess. Get your ass up, I’m here.” I heard a knock at my door downstairs and Veronica hung up. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me, rubbing at my nose a bit to make it look red and grabbed a box of tissues. I wadded a couple up and threw them in the trash so my fake sick story would still be believable.
I padded downstairs slowly, hearing the incessant knocking and ringing of my doorbell. I took a deep breath before answering the door. There stood one of my best friends, hands on her hips and an irritated look on her face.
“Alright, time to stop moping and start moving on.” The black-haired girl stepped in to my house, closing the door and pointing upstairs.
“Who said I was moping?” I fired back, dragging myself up the stairs.
“Oh, come on y/n! You may be able to fool Archie, Betty, Jughead, and the rest of the entire world, but you can’t fool me. I know you aren’t sick, I know you and Jughead fought, I know you like Jughead. Its written all over you!” Veronica flung open the door to my room and marched to my closet, digging through it like a wild dog.” It’s kinda sick, actually. You look at him with literal heart eyes.Honestly, I would have gone for somebody a little more chiseled, but hey, we all got our own kinks- “
“Ronnie.” I cut off her incessant rambling, “Why are you knee-deep in my clothes?”
“Because, sweetheart.” Ronnie stuck her head out of my closet.” There’s a party tonight, and Jughead and my future wife are going, and we are going to show those two idiots who they really belong with.” Ronnie went back in to my closet, holding up numerous amounts of dresses, skirts, and eye-catching tops.
“Jughead is going to a party?” I queried, unconvinced.
“Yeah, it’s a thing with the cheerleaders at Cheryl’s, an Jughead is going to be the ‘supportive boyfriend’ or whatever.” Veronica scoffed at her own words, adding mocking quotations with her fingers before going back to digging in my closet.
“They’re probably going for more clues about Jason.” I mumbled, my mind drifting away a bit.
“For someone who only wears like, 4 outfits, you sure do have a lot of clothes.” Ronnie commented, pulling out a dress and examining it before hanging it back up.
“My mom tries.” I sighed, flopping back down on the bed.
“Oh, no you don’t. Get your happy ass up and get in the shower. You look terrible, which is weird for me, because you usually look incredibly fuckable.”
“Wow, thanks Ronnie.” I spat back, sarcasm laced in my tone. I got up and grabbed a towel from my drawer, walking in to my bathroom and taking a quick shower. I shaved my legs, as demanded instructed by my friend, and Ronnie did my makeup and hair, curling it and putting it up in a pretty half-do. I admired Ronnie’s work, hardly even being able to connect this me with the person that sat in my bed this morning, dark circles under her eyes and her hair in a knotty bun. She had also found a long sleeved black dress that came down to my knees, tucked away in my closet somewhere
Ronnie had brought over a dress for herself to change in to, and slipped on her shoes. She looked up and our eyes met in the mirror, a distressed look on my face.
“Listen, tonight is for us, okay?” Ronnie rested her hand on my shoulders, turning my chair so I faced her.” I’ve been sitting around and moping too, trust me, but we shouldn’t mope. We deserve so much better, alright? So, let’s just go out and have fun. We deserve that much, alright?” Ronnie held out her hand and I took it, pulling myself up and letting my arms go around her neck to embrace her. We both grabbed our purses and linked arms before walking down the stairs of my house and out my door. ——————————————————– “Ronnie, I don’t think I can do this.” I stood at the front door of the house, my heart racing.” I really can’t do this.” I turned away from the building, wringing my hands out in front of me.” I’ve been doing it for so long, and I don’t think I can pretend any more, and- “
“Y/n!” Ronnie grabbed my hands, holing them in between hers.” You can do this, ok? You’re y/n freaking l/n!! You are one of the strongest women I know, and you are fierce! You can’t let Jughead, or Betty, or anyone get to you! Don’t let them ruin your moment, ok? Because you are looking hot as hell- “Ronnie lifted one of my hands, twirling me in front of her, and I giggled- “And I’ll be damned if I let you let them mess with that.” I hugged Ronnie tightly before she linked my arm with hers and we walked in to the Blossom mansion.
The music wasn’t too loud, which was a kind gesture for my sensitive ears. Cheryl had already roped together some kids for a game of spin the bottle, and I had spotted Archie, Betty, and Jughead near a corner of the room. Ronnie had already gotten me away from the sight, pulling me to the kitchen. I only grabbed a bottle of sweet tea, ignoring the alcohol that lined the counter. Veronica did as well, unsurprisingly. Veronica was a very old-school classy person. If she did drink, it was usually only one glass, and something very light, as I had found out one night that I had slept over at her house.
“There’s my girls!” Kevin wrapped each arm around Veronica and I’s shoulders. “Operation ‘avoid Jughead and Betty because they’re little whores who have been ignoring us to suck each other’s faces’ has commenced!” I laughed at Kevin, giving him a weird look for the name he had chosen.
“Lets just call it Operation Cobra, you know, for short.” Veronica suggested.The three of us made our way to the middle of the dance floor ignoring our other friends. It was obvious Veronica was laughing and talking at a bit of a higher volume, as well as being extra touchy and flirty to get the attention of our friends. I didn’t so much as glance at Jughead, because I knew that once I did, it was game over, and I would be running home and hiding under my covers. After a little while, I went to find a quiet place in the house, wanting to be alone. Parties weren’t really my thing, so I didn’t understand why I even agreed to go, but to be fair I was having a nice time
I sat on Cheryl’s back porch, my legs swinging off the edge as I looked out at her backyard. The graveyard with all her relatives didn’t really help boost my happiness, but at least I had gotten away from the incessant bass drops the music was giving off.
“Thought you were sick.” I turned my head to see Jughead leaning against the wall, legs and arms both crossed. My heart started beating wildly and I felt a lump in my throat.
“Thought you didn’t like parties.” I retorted, turning my head back around to face away from him.
“Touché.” I felt Jughead’s presence as he sat down next to me, our thighs brushing together. For a couple minutes, I didn’t say anything, scared that if I did I would burst in to tears.
“You look really, uh, nice tonight.” Jughead looked me up and down and I raised an eyebrow.
“I mean, not that you don’t look nice all the time, because you do.” Jughead scratched the back of his neck.” Because you know, you’re really beautiful, but you already know that I think that, because you know, you’re my best friend, and uh… yeah.” Jughead looked away
“You know, I’m not a mind reader.” Jughead chuckled lightly. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I did my best to ignore him, crossing my arms and keeping my gaze away from his.
“Look- “Jughead gulped audibly, hesitating before lifting his hand and resting it on my shoulder.” I don’t know what’s going through your head right now, or what you’re dealing with, but I’m here for you- “
“Really? Are you really “here for me?” I shrugged his hand off my shoulder, moving to stand up. I was furious at this point.” Jughead, I have talked to you maybe a handful of times since you and Betty started dating! You have cancelled every single one of our plans since then! Every time we’re together working on the blue and gold, you and Betty hardly even notice I’m in the room! – “
My hands went to my temples as I slowly paced back and forth on the deck of the porch. Jughead now stood in front of me, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans and the other running his hand down his face in a frustrated motion.
“And maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry about it, if you would have at least showed any sort of remorse, but you don’t! You don’t apologize, you don’t even text me in advance to let me know, you keep me sitting at Pop’s for hours, and you never even show up! I don’t even know why I still do it? What’s the point?” I began to walk past him but jughead held his arm out, stopping me from leaving. His hand grabbed my hip, turning me to face him.
“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am- “
“No you aren’t, Jughead! You aren’t sorry!” I pushed him away from me.” You aren’t sorry! If you were really ‘sorry’, you would have been there for me! You wouldn’t have skipped out on our plans! You wouldn’t have left me waiting all the time! Or you would have at least texted me to tell me you wouldn’t make it! Or even apologize!” I shoved my index finger against his chest, pushing him away from me once more.” But you don’t! You don’t apologize, or even feel any remorse about it, because all you care about is yourself! You don’t care about the consequences of the choices you make, because it doesn’t hurt you!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face as I ended my rant. Jughead had a shocked face on his look, as if he was surprised that I had just stood up for myself. I couldn’t blame him. All I ever did was let people use me as their personal door mat. I didn’t want to be that person anymore.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I do care about you, it’s just, I- “
“Save it, Jughead!” I shoved past him, running back in to the house and out the front door. I heard calls from my best friend and turned around to see Veronica and Kevin.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Veronica stood in front of me, blocking me from walking down the path towards the gate to leave Cheryl’s home. Her hands wrapped around my arms, stopping me from moving.” What’s wrong, what happened?”
“What do you think happened, Ronnie?” I spoke loudly, my hands moving wildly in front of me.” Jughead is an idiot! That’s what happened!” Kevin now stood beside Ronnie, and her hands went to my face, wiping away the tears. “I’m in love with a fucking idiot! That’s what happened!”
“I know sweetheart, I know.” Veronica hugged me tightly.
“He doesn’t care, Ronnie. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he hurt me, or anything. It doesn’t matter.” I moved to look at her again.” Why do I have to be in love with him? It could have been anybody else! Why him?”
“I don’t know, honey, he’s a jerk, I don’t know why he- “Ronnie cut herself off, staring off behind me. I turned around to see Jughead standing ten feet away, arms at his sides and his lips parted slightly.
“Did you say you’re in love with me?” Jughead looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for an answer. I shook my head, diving between Ronnie and Kevin and running towards the gate. Jughead began to follow me, but Kevin and Ronnie held him back, letting me slip away. ————————————————– I was halfway down the trek to my house when I passed by the Riverdale park. I sighed, steering off the sidewalk and towards the big dome-shaped jungle gym. I was just going to mope at home anyways, so I wasn’t in a hurry to get there.
I dropped my heels to the ground next to me, swinging my purse over my shoulder and climbing up to the top. I sat down in the middle, the solid platform cold against my skin. I didn’t care though. I pulled out my phone, ignoring any notifications I had. I checked Instagram, scrolling through Jughead’s account. I switched over to Betty’s, seeing multiple photos of her and Jughead. I didn’t exactly know why I was forcing myself to look at these, but I was.
I shut my phone off, wrapping my arms around my body. I hadn’t brought a jacket, another thing to beat myself up over. I looked around the park, my eyes eventually catching someone else’s. Jughead.
“What are you doing up there?” Jughead looked up at me, his hands in his pockets.
“I like it up here.” I defended.
“Can you come down?” Jughead asked me.
“No.” I protested.
“Then I’m coming up.” Jughead sighed, beginning to climb the structure. I scrambled to grab my purse, trying to get off as fast as I could, but it was too late. Jughead had climbed up, grabbing the bars on each side of my body and hovering so my lower body was trapped under his. He looked up at me, his chest heaving from climbing up as fast as he could, mixed with the sting of the cold weather. Our breaths could be seen in the winter air, mixing with each other and disappearing. I stared at Jughead, waiting for him to say something.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh yeah, hold on. Let me ruin my closest friendship real quick by telling him I have super hardcore feelings for him when he’s dating someone else!” I spat sarcastically.
“Ok, that’s fair.”
“Whatever, Jughead, just let me out.” I started to shuffle under his body, planning to duck under his arm, but he blocked me, climbing farther up. We were now eye level, his face only inches from mine. Jughead stared at me, not saying anything.
“Are you gonna say something?” I asked him, my eyes flickering between his.
“I don’t know what to say.” Jughead admitted. I rolled my eyes, pushing him so I could get out from under him. Apparently, I had pushed too hard, because next thing I knew, the boy lost his balance, stumbling off the bars and falling in to the grass on his back. I gasped, shouting his name before climbing down quickly and jumping off the last few bars.
“Jughead! Are you ok!” Jughead groaned in response, sitting up and rubbing his head. I dropped on to my knees beside him, my shoulders on his hands.
“Peachy.” He answered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, standing up and brushing the dirt off my dress.
“Whatever, I’m going home- “
“Did you know Veronica liked Betty?” I spun around, looking at Jughead.
“Well, I didn’t.” Jughead sighed, standing up. “And Veronica told her. Turns out, a big part of the reason Betty was dating me was to try and get over her, and convince herself she wasn’t gay. When Ronnie told her, she broke it off with me.” Jughead chuckled half-heartedly.
“Jug, I’m sorry.” Sympathy was laced in my voice. I stepped back toward him, patting his shoulder with my hand.
“It’s ok, really. I was dating her for kind of the same reason as well.” Jughead looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine.” You see, there’s this girl that I really like, and she’s been my best friend for quite a while.” My breath hitched in my throat, my hand leaving Jughead’s shoulder.” I’ve been kind of a shit friend to her, and I haven’t really been hanging out with her, more like avoiding her. It’s a really shitty thing to do, and I feel, like, really, really shitty about it.”
“Jughead, I, I can’t…” I turned back towards the dome jungle gym, walking towards my shoes. I felt Jughead’s hand on my shoulder and then my back was against the monkey bars, my body trapped by Jughead’s.
“I didn’t want to lose you.” Jughead admitted.” You’re everything to me, and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. When I started dating Betty, I thought it would help me get over you, and then I could stop feeling the way I felt.” Jughead looked me in the eyes, his face no more than a few inches away from mine once again.” I watched what happened to my parents, and yours. They were just like us. They were best friends, and…” Jughead hung his head, cutting off his own words.
“Jughead.” I reached my hands up to cup his face, lifting his head to look at me.” We aren’t our parents, ok?” My thumb brushed against his cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen down his face. Jughead smiled, his eyes flickering down to my lips, and mine doing the same.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I’m in love with you too.” I laughed lightly, my arms wrapping around his neck. Jughead’s arms went to my waist, pulling me flush in to his body before he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed in to the kiss, feeling relief that Jughead felt the same way about me as I did him.
Jughead bit gently at my bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth as he broke the kiss. I giggled, burying my face in to the crook of Jughead’s neck. —————————————————– “I see my work did some justice.” I heard Ronnie call out. Jughead and I turned around on the sidewalk we had been on to see our friends.
“We have been looking everywhere for you guys! Where were you!” Archie called out, jogging towards us.
“Oh, you know, climbing jungle gyms, pushing Jughead off them, the usual.” I joked, looking up at Jughead. He smiled, rolling his eyes. Ronnie and Betty walked up to us, hands held together.
“Hey, nothings gonna be… awkward, right?” Betty asked, looking at Jughead and I.
“No, Betts, everything’s good.” Jughead looked down at me, squeezing my hand.
“Ok, good.” Betty rested her hand on Jughead’s shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze before dropping it.
“Wait, so, you two?” Archie asked, looking at Ronnie and Betty, who nodded.
“And you two?” Archie looked at Jughead and I. Jughead nodded and I blushed, hiding in his side. Jughead wrapped an arm around my waist, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Honestly, I’m not surprised.” Kevin shrugged, walking towards us.
“Hey, we’re all heading to Pop’s, you coming?” Archie asked Jug and I.
“Archibald Andrews, do you ever think I would turn down a burger and fries from our ever so famous chock-lit shoppe?” I put a hand over my chest in mock offense.
“Of course you and Jughead are together, why was I even surprised.” Archie rolled his eyes, walking away from us.
“That obvious, huh?” Jughead spoke aloud, looking down at me.
like okay, you want a good example of a Uniquely Millennial Creepypasta type thing, watch Petscop
Petscop is a youtube series framed as a let’s play of a “lost PS1 game” that was never finished, about solving puzzles and collecting strange creatures
and the commentary on the videos is suitably understated, the creator never freaks out or screams or anything. he carries on like an incredibly casual twitch streamer playing some weird shit he found online would carry on. something weird happens, he goes “huh, i didn’t expect that,” and moves on.
it’s really good, it’s something distinctly of “our generation,” and it presents itself with both tact and self-awareness. it pokes fun at the sheer weirdness of early 3D games, something our generation understands super well, it pokes fun at these early 3D games being weirdly dark to the point that something like this “hidden game” wouldn’t even phase someone that grew up playing these games. oh, the game suddenly turned in to a cryptic horror-type game with weirdly disturbing themes? yeah ocarina of time did that too, so nobody is screaming or freaking out. it’s something people that grew up with these games would understand.
nobody does a meme, nobody does a funny scream, there’s no overt meme references, it’s all well-made and tonally consistent. it’s actually good.
Making my second ever contribution to the “Humans are Weird” community.
It’s been established that humans have incredible pack-bonding instincts and also insane survivability. Like, think about all the miraculous survival stories you hear about. It takes a LOT to kill us, as adults anyway.
But what about our children? The rest of the universe views them as small and helpless creatures, and for the most part, so do we. They are innocent creatures that need protection or they will die.
Except…it’s not always OUR protection they need. We’ve heard of children being raised by monkeys or apes, but that’s not too much of a stretch from being raised by people, when you really think about it. Aliens are confused, but they accept it.
But what about children raised by wolves? Or that one kid discovered in Africa that was apparently raised by antelope? These children, at a very young and vulnerable part of their lives, bonded with seemingly incompatible species. And not only did they survive, they thrived, to the point that, with only one or two exceptions, feral children removed from their animal companions and brought back into the care of humans usually die. And of the ones that lived, only one was able to learn how to speak and function properly in society.
And aliens are completely baffled by this. How is it possible that, when removed from a challenging, dangerous environment into a safe one, the humans deteriorate and die? Why do the children not recognize the other humans as their own kind? How is it possible that they survived so long in the care of what many humans label as dangerous animals?
And they become even more confused and somewhat afraid when we reveal that we don’t know. We don’t know what motivates these animals to take in a child so obviously different from their own young. We don’t know how these children are able to adapt and survive. We don’t know why they are incapable of recognizing that they are the same species as us.
And the aliens suddenly refuse to be left alone with human children for an extended period, because they are afraid the young ones will forget they are human.