that is a very rare occurance

Lychnomancy

Originally posted by spirits-of-lavender

I’ve been wanting to make this brief introduction to lychnomancy ever since I made my first post about the different forms of Pyromancy and after reaching the 400 follower milestone, I figured it was about time!

Now, admittedly, lychnomancy is not a very complex practice. It is a very basic form of divination involving three identical candles arranged in a triangle; you ask a question, light the candles, then focus on your query as you or someone else interprets the candle’s flames. 

If one flame burns brighter than the others, the answer is a positive one. Wavering or flickering flames indicated a journey, or that you may encounter obstacles. If your flame spirals upward, enemies are plotting against you. An uneven flame indicates danger. If sparks occur, caution is advised. It is considered very bad luck if all flames are extinguished at once, but I have never personally seen this occur and consider it rare!

Originally posted by she-is-beautifully-broken

Despite being rather simplistic, I really do love this form of divination. It speaks to me on a level that I cannot describe and every time I read the flames to answer my own questions, it feels deeply personal. 

I’ve taken creative liberty with this practice to spice things up every once in a while. Sometimes I will take a crystal that represents my emotions, charge it with my thoughts and feelings, and place it in the center of the three candles just before lighting them, as a way of focusing. This way the fire is able to draw on the power of raw emotion. Other times I will include tarot, using a combination of a single card and the three flames to find the answer to my question. It feels more detailed and dynamic this way.

I love what fire represents. It is the energy of life. It is passionate, raw and untamed. Dangerous, necessary, creative, and destructive. It is the most lively of the elements, and it can do so much. It is no different in lychnomancy. When practicing, keep that in mind. A simple candle flame can be so many different things, and it’s important to be in touch with your emotions when you practice any sort of pyromancy. However, be sure to balance yourself out afterward. If you do get this involved with your divination you’ll start to feel burnt out, like a candle at the end of its wick. Take a moment, drink some water - to put out the flames inside, of course - and breathe. Use the other elements to ground yourself. Sit on the floor, breathe deeply, and have some water nearby.

Originally posted by blackaestheticsoul

 As a special gift to all of my followers, I will be keeping my divination requests open throughout the month of May starting today, April 30th! I will be answering questions using the very basic form of lychnomancy as not to exert myself with constant, draining sessions. Feel free to send me an ask at any time ( anon or not! ) with any questions you may have, and I will answer it as soon as I am able!

Practice safely, my witchy friends~

She could almost see herself glowing much brighter than ever. 

And even though it was such a rare occurance, she could remember it very well while he approached — almost as if it was her own light, and not his. That burning sensation, that blinding light. Something lingering in the back of her head, like a feeling, or memory long lost.

She could only trap his light for a few moments. But she always felt that slight connection, as if something was amiss. 

Was he that mysterious, with his blue smile and sweet words? No. Maybe it was just her curiosity towards those moments. But deep down, she felt, there was something else, hidden between the cycles, waiting for them to find out.

There was something about them.

About him.

About her.

She could only wonder. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy that moment, even if for a little bit.

The Eclipse

I saw @illustraice AU some time ago and got hooked. What an amazing AU! so I decided to make a fanart about it cause yaaaassssss it’s so good ç~ç

the masculine expression of the signs activates on the basis of knowing the light without mystery. look at aries hollering toward the horizon with absolute certainty tomorrow exists and gemini seeking out every external pursuit to satiate their curiosity. leo knows their own brilliance and overtly displays their creative energy, libra’s own personal condition makes living without people at all difficult, while sagittarius uses the physical world in their search for answers. aquarius knows the knowledge will puncture their psyche soon and their very duty relates to dispersing this light 

in the feminine signs this process is hidden and secretive, what happens is rarely seen. think of taurus absolving away from the world and into the soul of themselves producing art, or pisces undertaking intense spiritual processes through her own body. cancer dreams the disciple’s dream by herself, virgo serves others from the hiding place of the shadow, all of scorpio’s activity occurs in invisible places, capricorn internalises the duties they have inherited and work hard on themselves to create their own reality and undertaking this privately 

4

An ice circle is a natural phenomenon that occurs in slow moving water in cold climates. They are very rare and they rotate. They are formed when floating bits of ice get caught in an eddy (a whirlpool) and start spinning in a circle. 

2

Leafeon Subspecies / Variations

Depending on the location of the Moss Rocks required to trigger evolution in an Eevee, a Leafeon can develop into many diverse forms. 


Thistle Leafeon: A larger variation of the Standard Leafeon. While no Leafeon could be considered aggressive, this subspecies is most likely to stand it’s ground when threatened. Attacking it without careful consideration will lead to prickly consequences for those involved. It’s most commonly found in dry flat-lands, and tend to arise in areas where agriculture is beginning to encroach on nature.  


Fern Leafeon: Very similar in size to Standard Leafeons. This sub-species is found most commonly in tropical to sub-tropical environments. They are particularly gentle and playful by nature, and their pelts and leafy features are soft and pleasant to touch.  


Cherry Blossom Leafeon: (Also known as Sakura Leafeons.) 
A beautiful subspecies which is commonly used by trainers in contests. They are very sensitive to the seasons and changes in weather. Though they have a pink hue to their pelts year round, their coats are most vibrant during Spring. After this season passes, these Leafeons will shed their coats and grow a new one. They are usually found in undisturbed, highland forests.  

 
Japanese Maple Leafeon: Another subspecies which is sensitive to seasonal change. Though they retain a reddish hue to their pelts year-round, their coats become most vibrant in colour during autumn months. After this season passes, these Leafeon will shed their coats and grow a new one. They are usually found in undisturbed, lowland forests. 

 
Water Lily Leafeon: An aquatic variation of Leafeon. They arise when the Moss Rock used for evolution is partly submerged in water. They require regular contact with water, and enjoy swimming in ponds and shallow pools immensely. Their paddle like tails allow them to move with some speed in water.


Marimo Leafeon: A very rare variation. Marimo Leafeons only occur when a Moss Rock used for evolution is completely submerged in water. They are smaller than Standard Leafeons. While not exactly difficult to care for, travelling with one can be difficult, as removing them from water for long periods can impact on their health. They are good swimmers, and excellent divers, with a fondness for collecting items at the bottoms of ponds. 

I’ve seen a bunch of people doing these and I wanted to give it a swing! I was motivated to try this out by this post in particular

Succulent Guide

Congratulations on becoming a proud plant parent! Welcome to to the wonderful world of succulents and cacti, here is a small guide of how to take care of your succulents properly and tips on how to maintain a healthy, happy plant based on personal experience. (・ω・)ノ

🌵🌵🌵🌵

General Knowledge

Firstly, here is some general knowledge on succulents that will (believe it or not) help you greatly when it comes to taking care of your plant.

  • Succulents and cacti are in the same family! This means there are many different kinds and like dry places with little water
  • The world “succulent” refers to the plant’s fleshy, thick leaves. They are like this to retain water.
  • Because succulents are cacti, some can be pointy and have spines (like aloe!) so in general, be careful.

That’s basically all the general information you need to know that will help your plant grow.

🌵🌵🌵🌵

Watering your plant:

Although most people believe that succulents thrive on neglect, they really don’t, and need almost as much maintenance as a regular house plant.

MY RULE OF THUMB: When the leave look thin, water the plant.

This rule of thumb is a bit of a last resort. If your plant’s leaves are withered or thin, it needs a lot of water.

Regularly, I water my 2" succulents with about 2 tablespoons of water A WEEK.

In winter, succulents and Cacti go through a dormant phase and don’t need to be watered as often, but I found this information as not useful because when I went as little as 1.5 weeks without watering some of my plants in the winter, they’d start to wither.

Remember, succulent leaves should remain fleshy! And watering them often is the key to doing this.

If you happen to forget to water your succulents for up to three weeks and even beyond, do not worry. At that point, the plant will ration it’s water until you water it.

If you happen to do this, do not immediately think that you have to drown your plant in water to make up the weeks you missed. For a 2" succulent, 2 tablespoons or less is the key. These types of plants can only take so much water at one time.

🌵🌵🌵🌵

Soil/Potting:

Repotting Cacti and Succulents is a lot of fun, especially when you get decorative pots or creative with potting ideas.

Some people like to use teacups, and other people use plain old terra-cotta pots.

Whatever the case may be, succulents and cacti like drainage.

So your teacup doesn’t have a drainage hole? No problem.

It is ideal to pot your plant in something that has drainage holes, but if it doesn’t, adding rocks to the bottom of whatever it is you’re using will help greatly.

I have small, 2" white square ceramic pots for my babies, which have a singular, small drainage hole in the bottom. Because I wanted more drainage, I used a few rocks on the bottom, and filled the rest of the pot with succulent and cacti potting mix.

It’s also healthy to keep some of the soil from the original pot to mix in with the potting mix.

When repotting my cactus plant, I preferred using thick rubber gloves to repot rather than gardening gloves because I didn’t want the thin spines to prick me.

🌵🌵🌵🌵

Sunlight/Heat:

I normally keep my succulents on the windowsill over my kitchen sink because it gets the most light in the house while being indirect.

This is the key to good sunlight: light, but indirect. So if you have a windowsill where the sun crosses over it throughout the day, that is the ideal place for your succulent. In winter, keep your succulents inside! And on the sill of a west facing window is ideal because the light is not too harsh in the afternoon.

TIP: make sure to rotate the pot so the plant grows straight.

If you do not have much sun, although I have not tried this, I know some people grow their plants under special lamps which work just as fine.

As far as heat goes, heat was not much of a problem for my plants except for my one pesky Echeveria nodulosa ‘Painted Beauty’ which I had named Rory.

Rory was not a fan of being near an open window, and since I had gotten my succulents in January, it was cold outside. A few rare days of warmth would occur in February which called for an open window, and any time he was near it, he would wilt.

And although Rory is due for what looks like propagation, he is my smallest plant to this day and I don’t want to go onto that step for him yet.

🌵🌵🌵🌵

Propagation

When I noticed my plants reaching for sunlight, they’d bend towards the window and grow very tall and their leaves would space out. Soon, the bottom leaves would die and need to be plucked off and I’d be left with a long stem, a few spaces but still alive leaves, and a small rosette on the top.

This means it’s time for propagation. When I first read on how to stop my plants from getting so leggy, results appeared calling it “decapitation” where you would cut of the head of the plant and leave a stump.

This sounded very scary to me and I waited until a month before I tried to look for answers again and found propagation as the solution.

There are basically three parts of propagation.

  1. the stump
  2. the rosette
  3. the babies (which are actually a bunch of little parts).

The first step to propagation is to remove the bottom leaves from the plant completely from the stem by gently twisting them off. (Even if they are alive)

Place the leaves on a wet paper towel on a pan after they have calloused over and dried out (takes about 2-3 days). You may notice the the root of the leaf may already be growing roots, and if it has not, it will eventually. From each leaf you will grow a new baby rosette and have a forest of succulents! The babies make great gifts. (Note that not every leaf will be successful in growing a baby). This process takes about 3-4 weeks.

For the left over plant, you now have a super long stem with a rosette at the top. Cut the rosette leaving some stem on it and submerge the stem in water after letting it callous and dry out (takes about 5 days) For mine, I submerged the rosette in a medicine cup filled with 2 tablespoons of water. Soon, roots will appear so you can repot the rosette. This takes 2-3 weeks.

Then, cut the rest of the stem the is in the original pot down to a stub. After the stub callouses over, it will start to regenerate new babies around it. This takes about 3 weeks.

When it comes to propagation, it takes time and patience.

🌵🌵🌵🌵

Tips:

Here is where I was going to put any tips I had for growing plants but I kind of mentioned them throughout my spiel. In that case, here is where I will reiterate my most important tips:

- Water your plants once a week or when the leaves look less fleshy.
- 2 tablespoons of water a week for 2" plants (some species may need more or less)
- For repotting cactus plants with spines, it’s ideal to use rubber gloves instead of gardening gloves
- Rotate the plant so it grows straight!

Those are my best tips. There really aren’t any tips on propagation since its a hit or miss kind of ordeal.

Feel free to ask questions! uwu

10

But I want a woman.

Day 8 - Signs of the Last Day
  1. The very first sign, is The Prophet’s ﷺ death. Which had occurred about 1400 years ago. How close must we be now?
  2. There will be competition between who can build the tallest building. The Prophet ﷺ predicted that 6 of the tallest buildings in the world will be in Dubai.
  3. He mentions that the mosques will begin to look like Palaces. The Prophet ﷺ ordered simplicity in the houses of Allah. However, they are now more extravagant and luxurious, built with expensive marble tiles and gold domes.
  4. The Prophet ﷺ said that trust will disappear. Trust will be so rare, that one will be able to give the name of one trust worthy person along with details of their exact location.
  5. There will be an increase in killing, called “Harj.” The one who is being killed, will not know why he is being killed. The one who is killing will not know why he is killing. A rise in terror.
  6. The use of Ribah (Interest) will become more common. The Prophet ﷺ said that everyone will be affected and controlled by the use of Ribah. Ribah is absolutely forbidden in Islam, however it has become a second nature to our lives.
  7. There will be an increase in literacy, but a decrease in knowledge. More people will know how to read, but they will read about useless information. No one will seek knowledge about Islam and only ignorant people will remain. “Speakers will be many, but the scholars will be few.”
  8. There will be an increase in musical instruments and muslims will make it lawful.
  9. Sexual promiscuity will become more common. And because of this, there will be diseases that people have never heard of before. 
  10. There will be shouting in the mosques.
  11. The worst and most ignorant people will become the world’s leaders.
  12. A man will obey his wife and disobey his mother. He will listen to this friends rather his father.
  13. Men will wear gold and silk. They will make it lawful, even though The Prophet ﷺ made it unlawful.
  14. People will abandon Islam for a minuscule gain. Holding onto Islam will feel like grasping hot coal. 

anonymous asked:

The of the things the batclan hates, is when they have to work a mission during the day -- in the sunlight. Because when they finally take off their masks, there is a defined tan or sunburn. Bruce and Duke (sometimes Tim, depends on which suit) only have to worrying about the area around their mouth. Jason and Cass have eliminated the probably by having fully covering masks/helmet. But Dick, Damian, Steph, and Barb...? They have more to worry about. Including laughter from Cass and Jay.

I’M SOBBING.

The only plus side of living in Gotham is that it’s not the sunniest place in the world… which most people would not consider to be a positive, but the batclan definitely does. But sometimes… when they’re very unlucky… they have to venture out into the hot, blinding heat and light of the summer sun. 

(Prime example: that one summer the Joker thought it would be funny to flood the whole of Gotham with his laughing gas-spiked sewer water, in what he called “Joker’s Pool Party Extravaganza.” And of course this just so happened to occur on a day when Gotham experienced record highs in temperature). 

  • You’re absolutely right, Cass and Jay’s costumes mean they are well protected… but the downside is that they are also very hot and grumpy and sweaty on these days. Alfred makes sure to stress to everyone the importance of staying hydrated on these rare days after Cass forgets to drink enough water (claims it was a bother) and ends up fainting from heat stroke. But only after she’d kicked everyone’s ass, as Steph pointed out in her defence.  
  • Damian is safe from sunburns for the most part. He grew up in the desert for part of his childhood and his DNA means that he tans naturally. But the tan lines are…. very defined. Especially since he often denies the need for protection against “this sad excuse of a sun” when Alfred offers him sun tan lotion. He regrets it later. Scowling at the mask-shaped tan-lines around his eyes in the mirror.
  • As Batgirl, Barbara religiously BATHED in suntan lotion because she’s so fair. Sunburns can be really dangerous for people with her complexion, and her father taught her to always wear sun lotion after that one summer day when she was six and went to preschool without it. He’s never forgiven himself for forgetting. But it’s a special memory for both of them, those few nights the sunburn hurt too much for her to sleep, and they sat together on Daddy’s bed as he gently rubbed cool aloe vera onto her face. Oracle is more than happy to stay inside all day and listen to the other complain about the heat. (But she absolutely will sternly remind everyone to wear lotion. And has threatened to dump Dick if he didn’t put it on before going out… more than once.)
  • Everyone hates Dick because, like Damian, he usually tans more than he burns. He grew up wintering in Florida and running around outside, taking care of animals and doing chores while travelling with circus. But he can still burn and if he does, risks the wrath of his fair-skinned girlfriend giving him another long lecture about the danger of UV rays and cancer. 
  • Duke is generally safe too, and usually just forgoes the lotion (“my beautiful melanin will protect me”, “black don’t crack”, “as the infamous and controversial bard Kanye West has been quoted as saying: ‘I’m way too black to burn from sunrays’”). But after Babs sends him a series of articles about how the risk of skin cancer is still high for black people, he caves and starts wearing a light layering of SPF 15.
  • Steph is pretty at risk, but it’s actually one of the areas she is surprisingly responsible? On sunny days, sometimes she’ll go back to her old Spoiler costume to protect her skin, even if it’s hotter. Once, she and Jason both decided to use the day as an opportunity to “get that nice, tanned bikini bod” and went on patrol wearing a swimsuit and trunks with flip flops. When Bruce got mad, they pointed out they were still protecting their secret identities by still wearing their mask and helmet… but he didn’t seem convinced. 
  • According to Stephanie…………… Bruce and Tim “get burnt, not turnt.” 
  • There are many reasons why Batman operates at night… and one of the lesser known reasons is that Bruce Wayne burns veeeeeeeery easily. He learned this lesson the hard way training in the Himalayas without sun protection. Because white, rich-boy, smarty-pants, 22 year-old Brucie Wayne assumed that sun + snow ≠ increased probability of getting burnt, and thought that skiers and snowboarders wore their goggles just to keep snow out of their eyes and as a fashion statement. And yet he knew chemical formulae of common plutonium compounds by heart….
  • Tim Drake has it the worst though. By far. Something that is most definitely not helped by the fact that Tim usually lives by the philosophy of: Hack GCPD Databases While Snacking On Cheetos All Night, Sleep All Day. The boy is a vampire. Pale as a ghost. And somehow it seems, no matter how many layers he’s wearing, Tim still manages to get sunburnt???? Through layers of kevlar??? The boy is a living, breathing, walking, sunburnt enigma. 
Persian vs Arabic Orthographies

Persian and Arabic may both use the Arabic script, but their written forms are quite different from each other. In this post I’m going to try and talk about the big differences so that people can both learn to distinguish them from each other and learn some cool facts.

The New Letters

Arabic is kind of weird in that it doesn’t have the sounds “p” or “g”, meaning its alphabet naturally doesn’t have any letters corresponding to those sounds. Persian, however, has both, so the letters پ pe and گ gâf were created to represent p and g respectively. There are also 2 other new letters, ژ zhe and چ che, representing the sounds “zh” (like the “si” in “vision”) and “ch”.

Different Pronunciation

For its lack of sounds as common as “p” and “g”, Arabic also has a lot of pretty weird sounds: some of which include the “th”s in “thick” and “this” (which you may think are perfectly normal because of English but are actually quite rare worldwide) and a set of weird throaty “emphatic consonants”. Naturally these weird sounds have their own letters: the two “th”s are written as ث and ذ and there are lots of emphatic letters which I don’t feel like going over now. But Persian has neither the “th”s nor emphatics. The logical solution would be to get rid of these letters entirely, but no, Persian decided to write the these weird sounds in Arabic loanwords but just pronounce them with their closest Persian counterparts. Thus ث and ذ are pronounced as “s” and “z”, and emphatics are pronounced as non-emphatic: س and ص are both “s”, ز ض ظ are all “z”, ت ط are both “t”, and ه ح are both “h”. Also, the infamous ع ‘ayn which any Arabic learner will complain to you about is simply pronounced as a glottal stop in Persian. One more thing to note: the letter و, named “waw” and pronounced as “w” in Arabic, is now “vâv” and pronounced as “v”.

Differing Letter Forms

Arabic has grammatical gender, and with that there is the very common suffix -a to mark feminine gender, written with a form of the letter tā’ called tā’ marbūṭa ”tied tā’”, which looks like ة (the letter ه hā’ “h” with 2 dots). Persian has no have grammatical gender and thus has no need for tā’ marbūṭa. In Arabic loanwords which have tā marbūṭa, it is either loaned in as a final -ه e (اسطوره osture vs  أسطورة usṭūra “myth”) or -at (دولت dowlat vs دولة dawla “state”). 

There are 2 word-final forms of letters that are very similar looking to each other in Arabic: ي, final yā’ “y”, and ى, actually a form of ا alif called alif maqṣūra which is pronounced as long ā. Persian, however, doesn’t actually dot its yā’ (or rather “ye”), making the two identical. The thing is, alif maqsure is VERY rare in Persian, only really commonly occuring in some proper names such as عیسی ‘isâ “Jesus” or مرتضی mortezâ “Morteza”. 

Arabic’s letter for k, ‌ك kāf, looks kind of like the letter ل lām “l” with a doodad inside of it in the isolated and final forms, but looks like this: كـ elsewhere. In Persian, it has the isolated and final forms ک کـ, giving it a much more consistent aesthetic across the board. The letter for g, گ gâf, also naturally follows this convention.

So Arabic has this thing called hamza that represents the glottal stop (a pause, like the sound in “uh-oh” represented by the hyphen). It can go on top of the letters yā’ and wāw ی و and give you ئ ؤ, representing a glottal stop proceeded or followed by the vowel sounds “i” and “u” (سئل su’ila “he was asked”, سؤال su’āl “question”), or it can go either on top of OR below alif ا. The only letter with a hamza that can occur at the beginning of a word is alif, which gives it the burden of representing all 3 short vowels. A hamza on top means an “a” or “u” (أول ‘awwal “first”, أسطورة ‘usṭūra “myth”) and a hamza on the bottom means it’s an “i” (إستقلال ‘istiqlāl “independence”). Hamza can also come at the end of a word not attached to anything, such as سوداء sawdā’ “black (feminine)”. 

So I spent all that time explaining how hamza works in Arabic to deliver this shocking news: the hamza is actually not very common in Persian. The only real place you see it is in the middle of words on ئ and ؤ: otherwise it’s either optional or actually discouraged by the Persian Language Academy.

Vowels

Now this is where the most drastic differences come in. Note I’ll mainly be talking about Modern Iranian Persian, which is an important detail because the vowels can vary pretty heavily across dialects.

Arabic has six vowels: a i u ā ī ū, with the ones with the line on top simply being longer versions of the first 3. Iranian Persian has… well, also 6 vowels, but they’re a e o â i u (a being the “a” in “cat”). In Arabic, due to how the vowel system works, there’s a pretty clean division of how vowels are written: short vowels are optionally indicated through diacritics, long vowels are indicated through consonant placeholders. As you can see, Persian doesn’t really have short and long vowels in the same way Arabic does, but we’re going to shoehorn the vowels into these now-arbitrary categories to make things simpler to understand.

Short vowels: a e o 
Long vowels: â i u 

The short vowels are indicated with diacritics:

اَ اِ اُ

While the long vowels are indicated through ا (glottal stop), ی “y”, and و “v”. The two diphthongs, ey and ow, are indicated through ی and و too. So this matches up pretty cleanly with the Arabic system, actually; In Arabic, those diacritics represent “a”, “i”, and “u”. This makes reading Arabic loanwords in Persian quite easy, because you can just read the short vowels as “a e o” and the long vowels as “â i u”. For example:

Arabic حُروف ḥurūf “letters”
Persian حُروف horuf “letters”

Persian writes vowels initially by just throwing the vowel diacritics on top of ا alef, very similar to Arabic and its stuff with Hamza:

اَسب asb “horse”
اِمروز emruz “today”
اُتاق otâq “room”

The vowels â i u are simply represented by آ (alef with a tilde-like diacritic), ای (alef + ye), and او (alef + vâv) respectively, which is quite close to what Arabic does with ā ī ū (but Arabic is cool and adds hamzas).

Word-final vowels are where things get a bit different though. In Arabic, short vowels are just indicated with diacritics at the end of words and the long vowels… let’s just say Arabic has a bit of a complex relationship with word-final long vowels. In Persian, though, all vowels must be indicated word-finally somehow. And here’s how it happens:

1. The most common short vowel at the end of a word is “e”, indicated by ه. Next up is “o”, indicated by و, and finally the very rare “a”, indicated also by ه.

2. Long vowels are indicated with ا، ی، و just like they are in the middle of words. 

Like I said though, I’m talking about Iranian Persian. Afghan Persian actually has 2 more vowels: ē ō, longer versions of “e” and “o”. These are also indicated with ی and و. In Iranian Persian these two vowels have merged with i and u, resulting in the words شیر shēr “lion” and شیر shir “milk” both being pronounced “shir”. 

Calligraphy

This section is mainly for fun, but what the hell. A lot of Arabic calligraphy gradually drifted towards a style called naskh, which is also how Arabic is displayed in basically every modern computer font. 

Iran, however, developed a distinctive style called nastaliq. Besides being used very commonly for Persian poetry, this is also the standard way of writing Urdu! For example, here’s an Urdu newspaper. 


Well, that’s about all I have to say! I may have forgotten some stuff, but to me this seems like a pretty comprehensive list as I read over it. I hope you learned some stuff!

The Black Cat

Summary: In which Dan Howell is gay, homeless, and also part cat, and Phil Lester is the nicest stranger ever.

Word Count: a whooping 9.3k!!!

Includes: an actual story, and of course, neko smut

this fic is for my best friend @ominousdan!!! it’s cayla’s birthday and without her birth nobody would be getting to see nine thousand words of neko!dan so please go follow her and tell her happy birthday in thanks (ily cayla i hope you love this and also me)

Keep reading

Mermaid Pride: Asexuality!

[Image description: A black gender ambiguous crocodile mermaid swimming around a spade in the colors of the ace flag. The layout is like an ace of spades card on black ground. The word Asexuality is written below them together with the definition: No attraction to any gender, or very rare and/or weak occurence of attraction…]

Feel free to use but please do credit me!

Don’t remove caption.

2

Fluorite with Chalcopyrite & Radiation Induced Spots

Purple-blue Fluorites containing numerous, prominent dark spots. These occur due to local, tiny ingrown bits of radioactive material that excites the electrons of some fluorite molecules around them and causes a permanent “smoky” effect as happens also in smoky quartz. It is very rare to see this dispersed pinpoint phenomenon in fluorite!

Locality:  Rosiclare Level, Denton Mine, Harris Creek, Hardin Co., Illinois, USA

Have Fun, Shippers!

Apathy

An Absence of involvement in the entire troll romance system. Only applies to non-non trolls.

Matespriteship Flushed

Involves two people who have positive feelings of affection for each other. Often involves sexual or reproductive activity.

Unspriteism F/F/F/A

When the main troll in a spriteship is forced out of it by the friend group that they themselves have founded.

Spriteship Flushed/Flushed/Ashen

When one is in a Spriteship, they surround themselves with multiple Matesprite candidates, but does not reproduce with anyone. What a tease.

Triospritism F/F/A/F/A

When a group is gathered around the spectacle of a particularly ravenous Auspisticism.

Matespicism Flushed/Ashen

A situation where two otherwise indifferent people begin to have flushed feelings for one another, under the encouragement or force of a third individual.

Alpha Duostorgiation F/A/F/A/A/F

One of the two Duostorgiation final results. In this result, the relationship of the monitors becomes more flushed as the relationship of the second couple becomes more violent.

Duostorgiation Flushed/Ashen/Ashen/Flushed

Similar to a Storgiation, except instead of a relationship growing under pressure, the relationship will grow when love is encouraged in others. The success of the Duostorgiating trolls is directly affected by how successful the relationship that they encourage turns out to be.

Beta Duostorgiation F/A/A/F/A/F

In the second Duostorgiation, the relationship of the monitoring couple becomes more flushed as the second couple’s relationship becomes more flushed.

Storgiation Ashen/Flushed

Two people work together to resolve conflict and find themselves developing red feelings for one another. This relationship can fade easily, and can sometimes only be strengthened when put under a pressure comparable to the one that instigated it.

Spewterism A/F/A/F/A

The opposite of a Scalemateship. This is when the monitor of an Auspisticism begins to have flushed feelings for both of the other trolls involved. These two trolls must decide how to respond to their monitor’s redrom persuasion.

Scalemateship Ashen/Flushed/Ashen

A very rare time when an Auspistice finds both of their monitored enemies flushed for them. The Monitor must now choose which of their courtiers they will continue on with and which one they will kill. If they do not kill either of the violent lovers, the two may develop an Infinism.

Polyscalemateship A/F/F/A

When the members of two separate Auspisticisms become violent with each other, a third Auspisticism must step in to be the monitor. The monitor of the monitoring Auspisticism is usually put under intense pressure. Nicknamed ‘The Inception’

Auspisticism Ashen

A scenario where a mediator is required to keep a relationship between two people civil and avoid bloodshed.

Metabollegiance A/A/A/C

Surrounding trolls are naturally drawn to this central troll.

Chromership Ashen/Ashen/Caliginous

When an Auspistice becomes unreliable, an additional Auspistice may become involved in order to monitor the original Auspistice. This is usually done to avoid the development of Infinisms or Scalemateships.

Crosscorosion A/A/C/A/C

Where a Kismesissitude constantly vicilliates between stability and requirement of an Auspistice

Clovership Ashen/Caliginous

A delicate balance in which the four participating individuals harbour a strong hatred for the other three. Together, the relationship is made stable and civil. If a participant is removed from the Clovership, relationships can progress to Kismesissitude unless a mediator becomes involved or the Clovership is re-completed.

Carcatuition A/C/A/C/C/A

When a troll causes ambient conflicts in all surrounding trolls.

Counter-ClovershipAshen/Caliginous/Caliginous/Ashen

A counter clovership is the opposite of a clovership. It is a group of four trolls who, while usually very friendly or indifferent, will become extremely vicious and violent when the full Counter Clovership comes together. While the members of a Clovership must be kept together, the members of a Counter Clovership must be kept apart at all costs.

Flagism A/C/C/A/C/A

Where a troll can only seem to have romantic feelings for other trolls of a similar caste.

Infinism Caliginous/Ashen

A form of Kismesissitude, but the people involved can only have a successful black relationship if constant intervention is involved. Otherwise, their hate is so strong that they will take any opportunity to murder their Infinist.

Infimoaillegiance C/A/C/A/C

Where four trolls are compelled by fate to become an Infimositude.

Infimositude Caliginous/Ashen/Caliginous

An Infinimositude is an extremely rare and very volatile series of events. The two hateful enemies that make up an Infinism will find themselves monitored by the members of a completely different Infinimositude. The result is something not that different from a clovership. Two pairs of trolls who hate the other troll in their pair have to keep the members of the other pair from killing each other. This results in either a brutal bloodbath or a mysterious harmony.

Voidance C/A/C/A

The Absense of any romantic persuasion in a troll. Can be romantically occurring or the result of a Counter Philiasma.

Kismesissitude Caliginous

A mixture of of mutual sexual attraction and hate. Leads to reproduction.

Gladiem C/C/C/P

When a troll is hypnotised or contractually forced into a relationship.

Descellegiance Caliginous/Caliginous/Pale

Many trolls that are part of a Kissmelegiance are actually part of a Descellegiance. This is when, due to the placebo effect, two trolls will become Kismesissitude because they believe that they are a Kissmelegiance. Unlike a Kissmelegiance which can be long and drawn out, these are short and violent, but they are also stoppable. When these two trolls are convinced that they are in a Descellegiance, they will be able to end their Kismesissitude. However, it is often hard to tell the difference between a potent Kissmelegiance and a light Descellegiance.

Literositude C/C/P/C/P

A troll who is attracted to fictional characters, and can only fulfil sexual desires through fictional literature. This is a quadrant that is prominent in cherubs.

Kissmelegiance Caliginous/Pale

A troll in a Kissmelegiance is compelled by fate to make an enmity with the other participant. This can progress to Kismesissitude or Infinism.

Sedatespriteship C/P/C/P/P/C

A relationship where a troll is the Matesprite or Kismesiss of another troll, without the second troll’s knowledge.

Double Agency Caliginous/Pale/Pale/Caliginous

A Double Agency is when two trolls, who have flushed feelings for one another, both pretend to have black feelings. This tends to happen when the personalities clash, usually competitive trolls. Usually, both trolls will suspect that the other actually has flushed feelings for them but neither is willing to reveal themselves in case their suspicions are wrong.

Interagency C/P/P/C/P/C

A relationship that begins with powerful love but slowly dulls to hate over time.

Erosissitude Pale/Caliginous

The two trolls are compelled by fate to constantly and simultaneously vacilliate, but are both on opposite ends of the spectrum. When one troll feels extreme red feelings, the other will express loathing. They both usually vacilliate at the same moment, meaning that they will never be able to have a stable and reproductive relationship. 

N-way Moirallegiance P/C/P/C/P

A Moirallegiance with an unprecedented number of trolls. Usually ends with one or many Kismesissitudes.

Insurgence Pale/Caliginous/Pale

An Insurgence is a group of four Moiralls that each feel a powerful romantic and protective love for one another that is harmonious and will not end with bloodshed between the Insurgents. However, they are all destined never to have sex or any form of troll reproduction.

Auspinsurgence P/C/P/P

Two sets of Moiralls clash and require a monitor to keep them safe. There I sthe possibility that these two sets of Moiralls are themselves Moiralls. While trolls A and B are Moiralls, and trolls C and D are moiralls, Moirallegiances AB and CD also become moiralls.

Moirallegiance Pale

A couple encouraged by fate to protect one another and ensure stability in the other troll/person’s life.

Stabbance P/P/P/F

If someone is a stabbance, they are a troll that has a fate-given gift of destroying the relationships of others.

Constituency Pale/Pale/Flushed

A Constituency is when one troll in a pair believes that they are the Moirall of another troll, but the second troll does not think that this is a Moirallegiance.

Matestituency P/P/F/P/F

A barrier by fate or destiny that completely blocks two trolls from having a relationship.

Stituency Pale/Flushed

A couple that is formed by defying fate. This can be done by destroying a Moirallegiance in order to form a new relationship or by turning A Kismelegiance into a Moirallegiance. 

Webship P/F/P/F/F/P

A relationship that can only remain stable when it takes place online. This can function through pesterlogs or trollian.

Envelopment Pale/Flushed/Flushed/Pale

An Envelopment is when a troll intentionally does not reveal their true feelings on who they have powerful red or black feelings for, because they do not want to cause conflict with an existing Matesprite or Kismesiss.

Masquerade P/F/F/P/F/P

A Masquerade is when two trolls can only have a stable relationship through roleplay.

Philiasma Flushed/Pale

A Philiasma is when, due to outside intervention, a Kissmelegiance or Erosissitude is broken. When a Moiraillegiance is formed, it becomes unbreakable. The status of this love becomes unconditional and cannot do anything but grow stronger.

Fatespriteship F/P/F/P/F

A scenario in which a trolls A and B are in a Kismesissitude, C and D are in a Matespriteship. Both of these relationships are destroyed, sometimes by a Stabbance. A will pair with C or D and B will pair with the troll that A does not pair with.

Counter Philiasma Flushed/Pale/Flushed

This is a situation that is just as rare, if not more rare than an Infimositude, because when one person in a Philiasma dies, the other usually commits suicide immediately. However, when the living troll does not kill themselves, they will always withdraw from the troll romance system entirely and have feelings only of depression and apathy until they die.

Laytherithm F/P/F/F

When troll A is flushed for troll B, but troll B is black for troll A and flushed for troll C. Troll C Is black for troll B and flushed for troll D. Troll D is black for troll C and flushed for troll E. There is a possibility of the Laytherithm linking into a circle, where Troll E would be flushed for troll A but troll A would be black for troll E, or they can end on their own.

anonymous asked:

Hi Aurie! Hope you're having a great day uwu❤ Do you know any good omega!Levi fics? (I've read Luna de Acero's fics and I can't find anything as good >•<) They can be in English or Spanish. Love u!!

Hello! Of course, here are some I like:


» Cobwebs
          The forest is home to many a fell creature, labelled monsters by the ever-worried villagers that make their home on its borders. When Levi wakes up one night to discover himself an Omega, a rare phenomenon that hasn’t occurred for lifetimes, he figures the trees wouldn’t mind welcoming one more freak into their midst.

» Knocked Up!
          Looking down, Eren saw the ring of a very broken condom hanging precariously off of his soft member. For a few seconds, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and was pretty sure his heart stopped beating. The condom had broke. The condom had fucking broke. Eren shrieked and it echoed through the house as he sat there still staring down at his cock.

» Red Heat
          Eren is one of the few Alphas who go into rut without the presence of an Omega in heat nearby, and after suppressing it for nearly two years, the drugs are no longer working. As a last resort he heads to an Omega refuge, hoping to find a suitable, but temporary, mate. When he finds one lost in a fatal ‘red heat’, he’ll do whatever it takes to ease his suffering.

» Worship
          Eren lives alone in a small house, going about his day like any other day until one evening he sees foot prints on the fresh snow and that means only one thing. There is someone else in the outer building that he is about to enter.


I hope you enjoy them! ♡

Motives to Kill

What Compels Killers to Kill?


Chronically Aggressive Individuals

  • Easily frustrated, limited or poor impulse control
  • Frequently express anger or hostility
  • Resents authority, defiant with supervisors.
  • May express hostility through “passive-aggressive” behavior
  • Believes violence and/or aggression are legitimate responses to various interpersonal problems in life (i.e., if someone provokes you, you fight back)
  • Although they might never admit it, pleasure or reinforcement is derived from the expression of anger (i.e., it feels good to blow someone off; it makes you feel alive; it gives you a sense of power)
  • Often display the characteristics of a “stimulus seeker” - they engage in bold, fearless, or reckless behavior and are prone towards substance abuse
  • Most typically, violence occurs in a situational context: an offense, fight, or disagreement
  • Sometimes just get carried away in a particular situation (domestic violence, child battering)
  • Less likely to engage in acts of unexpected “explosive” violence

The Over-Controlled Hostility Type

  • Rarely display or express anger - they don’t cuss or yell, and may be offended by such
  • Emotionally rigid and inflexible: appear to be polite, serious, and sober, rarely “loose” or jocular
  • Cognitively rigid and inflexible: very strict about interpreting rules; usually go for the letter, rather than the spirit of the law
  • Morally righteous and upstanding: see themselves as “good people”
  • Often judgmental: see others as “not such good people”
  • Non-assertive or passive; their passivity causes others to take advantage of them
  • Anger builds up like in a pressure cooker, before they explode
  • After the violence, people say that they never expected it, “he always seemed like such a nice guy; he was always so quiet”

The Hurt and Resentful

  • Feel that people walk on them and that they are never treated fairly
  • When they are passed over, there is always someone else to blame
  • Things are easier for everyone else: other people get more and have more advantages.
  • They do not accept criticism well
  • In response to reprimands, they develop grudges, which are sometimes deeply held
  • They are often whiners and complainers, as a matter of attitude
  • They wallow in their victimization and are psychologically impotent
  • Violence occurs because they hold grudges and are “impotent” to deal with their anger in other ways

The Traumatized

  • Aggression occurs in response to a single, massive assault on their identity
  • Something happens that is potently offensive, absolutely intolerable, and which strips them of all sense of personal power
  • The essence of their existence (or their manhood) will be destroyed if they do not respond
  • Violence is predictable & preventable

The Obsessive

  • Immature and narcissistic individuals who demand or crave attention and affection
  • Absolutely cannot stand to be deprived of desired gratifications, like a baby who cries because mother removes the breast
  • When deprived of love, they continue crying: repeated phone calls, following the object of their obsession, etc.
  • As frustration continues, they escalate: “dead flowers”, punctured tires, suicide gestures
  • Violence because: “if I can’t have her, nobody can.” … or: “if she won’t have me, she won’t have anything.”

The Paranoid

  • Jealous Type: Delusionally believes their lover is unfaithful
  • Persecuted Type: Delusionally believes that people are out to get him
  • Typically engage in behaviors which make their paranoid beliefs come true
  • Delusions may reach the point at which the person is grossly out of contact with reality (may be insane).

The Insane

  • Rare: does not understand the nature and quality of their actions.
  • More typical: fundamental misperceptions of reality, incapable of rational behavior, delusional beliefs deprive them of the ability to know that their behavior is wrong, beliefs and perceptions are incongruent with reality.
  • Twisted, psychotic beliefs about what is right, what is wrong, and what is necessary.

The Just Plain Bad & Angry

  • A combination of most of the above (except for insane): angry, hostile, jealous, resentful, impotent, and disturbed individuals, who are socially isolated, socially inadequate, and who feel worthless
  • May be seeking attention
  • May be seeking revenge
do we even know what love is?

summary: peter comes back from the events of civil war, looking a little worse for wear and y/n wants to finally know what’s up. 

a note: heres my other specialty, ANGST. hope you all suffer 


he disappeared out of nowhere, and reappeared just the same. only he wasn’t the same, he looked like he just got beat up in some seedy alley way in the middle of the night. 

“peter! what the actual hell? why do you mean you can’t tell me?” y/n, a girl of fierce and argumentative nature, continued to grill her boyfriend about his sudden disappearance. she was so mad she slammed the door behind her, surely startled everyone in the building. 

“it’s just,” he started, trying to think of an elaborate lie a the while feeling insanely bad at the same time, “complicated.”

“cut the shit,” now she was actually starting to get mad at him, a very rare occurence, “you either actually can’t tell me or you don’t want to. which is it.” 

the apartment fell silent, the tension in the air started to grow. peter didn’t like lying to her, but in this case he felt like it was necessary. 

“you’ve been acting sketchy for WEEKS and then you disappear out of nowhere, didn’t tell me-didn’t tell anyone, and finally you come back looking like you’re a member of fight club. which honestly, i think is a very real possibility.” 

peter scratched the back of his neck, “i can’t tell you because i just, don’t want to get you involved. this-this thing, is bigger than both of us.”

“does the last six months mean nothing to you? we used to tell each other everything! what happened to that? lately it’s like you don’t want to tell me anything.” 

she was trying so hard to not to let him know how much it hurt. that he felt the need to hide things from her. 

“what is so important that you can’t tell me? that’s all i want to know.”

her emotions were starting to get the best of her, she wasn’t just mad anymore, she was upset and quite possibly on the verge of tears. 

peter couldn’t stand knowing that he was the reason she was acting like this, the reason that she was so upset. the only reason he won’t tell her is because he doesn’t want her in any sort of danger that may come to her. anyone who would want to hurt him, would most likely want to hurt her if it meant getting under his skin just a little. 

“look,” she sighed, “if you really can’t tell me. that’s fine. i can’t force you to. it’s your life and your business. i get that.”

“y/n, i’m sorry-”

“save it. just save it. i’ll come back when you’re ready to talk. who knows when that’ll be, but when it is, you know where to find me.” 

it hurt like hell, to leave him like this. but she knew it was the right thing to do. what kind of relationship is it if it lacks trust? not a good one. 

just as she opened the door to leave, peter grabbed her wrist.

“peter. don’t. unless you’re willing to tell me the truth, you have to let me leave,” she said, keeping her back turned to him. she couldn’t face him without crying at this point, “and if you’re gonna pull the it’s because i love you too much bs, i don’t want to hear it.”

“y/n-”

“honestly, do we even know what love is? for all we know, it could just be another word for pain.” 

she pulled back her wrist, turned back to peter and lightly pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“i’m sorry peter.”

and just like that, she disappeared from his life just as fast as she appeared. 

e n d 

another note: boy i sure love angst? don’t you? 

CS FF: Man Flu

Summary: It’s Killian and Emma’s first wedding anniversary, but Killian is sick and has no clue what day it is.  To make matters worse, he is driving Emma crazy as she takes care of him.

Rating: PG

Note: So many men are big babies when they get sick (apologies to any men who may be reading this), so I thought the same could be true for our former pirate.  This goes back and forth between Emma and Killian’s POV.  Hope you enjoy it!  ~Steph

…Man Flu: Part 1/1…

~Emma’s POV~

Today is our first wedding anniversary.  This first year of marriage to Killian has been the happiest of my life.  

Minus the last three days, that is.  When I said the vows in sickness and health, I never imagined this.  

I squeeze my eyes closed as the ringing once again fills my ears. Why did I give Killian that damn bell?!  He’s been ringing it incessantly for the last two days.  I thought it would be an improvement over him bellowing my name every five minutes, but I was sorely mistaken.  

Three days ago, Killian came down with a cold. The usual: scratchy throat, cough, runny/stuffy nose.  But you would have thought the man had contracted the plague.  He hasn’t left our bed and complains about every little symptom.  Here’s a man who has lost his hand, been hit by a car, been stabbed, nearly drowned, been tortured, and actually died.  I’m sure in his more than 200 years he’s endured even more than that.  But somehow the common cold brings him to his knees.  

There’s a name for this.  Man flu.  Basically, men act like babies when they become even slightly sick.  Apparently, my brave, strong, resilient pirate isn’t immune to such an affliction.  And now I must also suffer.

The bell rings again, followed by a pitiful moan of “Emma”.

“Coming,” I grumble, as I head up the stairs.

I find him in our bed, the comforter pulled up around his neck.  Tissues are strewn everywhere. His hair is sticking up in all directions and his nose is red.  His blue eyes are watery.

I come to stand before him, hands on my hips.  "You rang?“

"Love, do you think perhaps you could close the curtains?  I’m afraid the sunlight is hurting my sensitive eyes.”

I bite my lip, but nod.  "Sure.“

I walk over to the window and pull the curtains closed.

"Not quite that much.  I enjoy a bit of light.”

I feel my fists clench as I pull the curtains open a little, nearly pulling them off the rod with my vice-like grip.  

“Better?” I ask.

“Perfect,” he says, offering me a weak smile.  "Thank you.“

"Can I get you anything else before I go?” I ask.

“You’re leaving?” he croaks.  

I sigh. “Killian, I’ve been waiting on you for three days. I have a job, you know.  I’m surprised this town hasn’t been destroyed by monsters yet.”

“My apologies for being so much trouble,” he mumbles.

I roll my eyes.  I know what he’s doing and it won’t work.  

“Look, you have your cell phone right there.  If you need me, just call and I’ll be back in no time at all.”

“I don’t want to be a bother,” he mutters. “I’m sure I can fend for myself in my weakened state. After all, I’ve cared for myself most of my life.”

I roll my eyes again and walk over to him, placing a kiss on his lips against my better judgment.  I don’t really want to risk getting sick, but a kiss usually placates him for a bit.

“You’ll be fine.  I told you.  It’s just a cold.”

“I beg to differ.  I feel as if I am on my deathbed.  It must be scurvy.”

“For the thousandth time, it is not scurvy.”

“With all due respect, love, you aren’t a doctor.”

“True, but I do know how to google.”

“What?”

“Look stuff up on the, as you would say, computer box.”

“Oh. Proceed.”

“And you have none of the symptoms of scurvy.  It’s also very rare in modern times, mostly occurring in poor countries due to malnutrition.  What you have is the common cold.”

“There’s hardly anything common about it.  I don’t see why I can’t be given some medicine to cure this infernal disease.”

“Because there’s no cure for the common cold, which, by the way, is not a disease.  You just have to ride it out.  You can relieve the symptoms like we have been doing with over-the-counter drugs, but there’s not much else you can do.”

“I suppose I’ll just suffer then.”

I wait for him to acknowledge our anniversary, but he’s so delirious from the meds and distracted by his constant whining, that I am pretty sure he doesn’t have any idea what day it is.  

I try to hide my disappointment, as I hook my thumb in the direction of the door.  "Ok, I’m going to go now.  Call me if you need me.“

"Goodbye, love,” he says as I exit the room.

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The joys of hairdressing

Very rarely do I have any clients that are outright rude to me. However, the other day, I had an older man come in (probably late 50’s, early 60’s) who was near impossible. TL;DR at the bottom.

I sit him down in my chair and the following occurs:

Me: How would you like your hair cut?
Him: I’d like a [clipper guard] #3 all over.
Me: So you want a buzz cut? #3 all over, including the top?
Him: Yep.

I proceed to buzz his hair with a #3.

Him: Wait, wait, don’t you normally use scissors? Isn’t there some technique to this?
Me: Not for a #3 all over. That’s a buzz cut.
Him: Well, now my hair’s ruined. I have to take photos soon!

Dude, it’s not my fault you’ve reached the age that you have and still can’t communicate the kind of cut you want. Don’t berate me because I can’t read your mind.
My manager, who’s heard all these exchanges, comes over to investigate/defend.

Him (client): This girl normally cuts my hair, she knows what to do!
Her (manager): You asked for a #3 all over, right?
Him: Yeah, I wanted a #3 around here (motions around sides and back of head) and scissors up here (motions to top of head).
Her: That’s actually a #3 around the sides and back, and a trim up top.
Him: Well I wish I would’ve said that!

My manager hangs back and observes while I trim his neckline and around his ears. The other stylists give me sympathetic looks.

Me: Would you like me to trim your eyebrows?
Him: Yeah, but don’t take them off! (Laughs derisively)

I measure out an eyebrow length with my comb and bring up my trimmers. My hands are shaking because hso I accidentally catch his eyelid with the edges of the trimmers. No blood, not even a scratch.

Him: OW! Jesus, maybe slow down! Okay? Maybe then you wouldn’t mess up so much! I just went to the doctor for that eye!

Yeah, because I totally knew that and did so out of malicious intent. Again, not a mind reader. I finish the rest in silence and comp the cut.

Him: Great. Gotta get photos taken and…(trails off as he leaves the salon)

Luckily, my managers and coworkers were on my side. They all said he’d been an asshole to them before, too. One of the older ladies told me I should’ve charged him regardless. The staff is very supportive and will defend stylists over customers every time.

TL;DR: Old asshole can’t verbally communicate how he wants his hair cut, verbally abuses stylist for her inability to read minds. There is no One True Men’s Haircut.

Captain of the Guard

Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Requested by: @valiantunknownshark, @alwaysinnarnia, and two anons

A/N: So I smooshed like four requests together for this one, and I’m pretty satisfied with how it turned out for the most part!

@nicolejones412 Thought you might want to read this :)


“What’s the commotion in the courtyard, Peter?” Edmund asked. His brother, who had just walked in, looked amused.

“A knight from a far off kingdom has come to challenge you to a duel.”

“Oh?” he laughed. “Then I suppose I should go down to greet him. I always love sparring with foreigners. So long as they’re good sportsmans… They often have different styles of fighting to trade.”

Peter smiled at him. “Indeed. Even when you lose, the fight was not a waste so long as you learn something. Now come, let’s not disappoint our guest.” 

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