that intonation

taylor swift invites me to her Reputation Secret Session listening party. i know that this means taylor’s read my blog, and she must know i’m not super happy with this album cycle. so i’m on my best behaviour, trying hard to be nice and not kill the joy of the fourteen-year-olds around me. we all sit down on her living room floor and chat for a while. it’s nice. taylor swift is nice. i’m starting to feel more relaxed, but i’m definitely still trying to keep the peace though. i tell her that fearless was a formative album for me and she thanks me and says it was so sweet of me to say that. taylor swift announces that she made snickerdoodles and she has to go pop them out of the oven. the fourteen-year-olds cheer, and as taylor walks away, they begin to talk amongst themselves. i happen to look up. the kitchen door is slightly ajar and taylor swift is staring at me through the thin crack, her eyes twin coals of searing, black hatred. i gasp a little. the fourteen-year-olds ask me what’s wrong. i say that nothing is wrong. taylor swift comes toward us with a tray of piping hot snickerdoodles and invites us all to take one. i decline and tell her i just ate. she insists that i take one. i tell her that i’m sorry but i’m really full and they smell delicious. she forcibly places a snickerdoodle in my hand. she tells me to eat it. there is no way i am going to eat this snickerdoodle because i am genuinely afraid that taylor swift will kill me. i am seriously afraid that taylor swift has put poison in this snickerdoodle and is trying to kill me. one of the fourteen-year-olds asks if the cookies are gluten-free. taylor swift’s mother andrea swift calls out from the kitchen to say that the cookies do, in fact, contain gluten. i loudly announce that i have celiac disease and then i toss the cookie into a nearby artisanal woven wastebasket while loudly announcing that nobody wants a cookie that has my germs all over it. taylor smiles at me. she says nothing. the fourteen-year-olds demand to finally hear Reputation and she presses play and the living room’s surround sound system begins to play the album. i am sweating. the fourteen-year-olds are having fun. we get to the part where she says “island breeze” in a caribbean accent. i visibly wince. taylor swift affects a friendly voice and asks me if i like the song. i tell her that i do. i announce that i have to go to the washroom. my thought is that i can walk down the main hallway and escape through the front door. taylor stands up and says she’ll walk me to the washroom. i say that it’s fine actually and i can hold my pee. taylor swift says that’s silly. she tugs at my arm until i stand up and then she very lightly holds my arm and guides me down the hallway, out of the view of the fourteen-year-olds. i am very scared. we reach the bathroom. taylor swift releases her hold on my arm. she looks very intently at my t-shirt. it’s an animal collective 2017 tour t-shirt. i got it when i went to an animal collective concert back in may. “i see you like animal collective,” she says. “please don’t kill me, taylor swift,” i reply. “there was VX nerve agent in that snickerdoodle,” taylor swift says. “oh my god,” i say, and i say, “taylor, please, i know i said the singles were bad, but that was only because i believe so much in your potential.” taylor swift levels her eyes at me. kubrick stare. “you’re seriously going to stand there,” she says, “wearing a t-shirt plastered with the cover art for painting with, and you’re going to tell me that my album is bad.” i am crying now. “floridada is a really fun song,” i whisper, through phlegm and tears. taylor swift’s eyes roll back into her head and an ancient voice echoes forth from her throat, intoning in latin: “Vos ipsi deceperunt me, quia novissima hora est.” somehow i die just from that.

You’re sitting in the theatre. Everything is perfect. It’s accurate, it’s visually stunning, everyone is on point. It’s a perfect adaption. The title flies on screen.
Deep voice: Fullmetal Alchemist
Everyone in the theatre:(slightly different intonation) Fullmetal Alchemist.

Language Rant

The thing that really gets me about monolinguals/people uninterested in linguistics is the strange need to label languages as objectively/inherently difficult.

Any linguistic feature that may seem, at the surface level, to be a challenge, is often that much of a challenge to not have. When learners complain that German/Russian/Greek cases are superfluously complicated, they seem to forget that for those who speak using cases natively, it seems like such a limitation to not have them. Suddenly the precision of who is doing what to whom is murky, and word order is now strictly confined to the chains of SVO.

Many are quick to label the tones of east Asian languages as a nonsensical or a confusing system. For those who use tones natively, it would seem absurd not to have them. To avoid them, many languages are required to make use of an extremely vast phonology, and words become quite lengthy to compensate for this diversity. Imagine having this skill for intonation and having to power it down until the occasional tone used for a question arises.

People are quick to label the verbs of romance languages as pesky and convoluted. It is these seemingly daunting conjugations that allow listeners to know precise specifics about who is doing what, in addition to the time and manner, all in a single word. For speakers of other languages, this would require additional mentioning of subject pronouns, grammatical particles, and time/location words, in order to achieve the same clarity.

In the end, it is the absence of features that can be just as irksome, complicated, or intimidating. Language has been created for humans by humans.

If there were a language so inherently difficult that a native speaker couldn’t easily tackle it before puberty, it would probably be quickly replaced, as soon as a language more suitable for humans came into play.

The takeaway here is that these man-made tools are just that. The only meaningful comparison to judge innate difficultly is a comparison to one’s native tongue. Hard for you? Perhaps. So intrinsically difficult that a native-speaking toddler still couldn’t babble in it? Doubtful.

“People observe the colors of a day only at its beginnings and ends, but to me it’s quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows, cloud-spot blues. Murky darkness. In my line of work, I make it a point to notice them.” - Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)

I went to the anti G20 protest tonight in Hamburg. It was peaceful, we chilled, listening to Techno, had a beer. The march wasn’t allowed to start because the police stated that some protesters wete hooded and disguised. Not where I was standing, we were just wearing sunglasses because it was very sunny.

There was a black block somewhere in front of is, but even they stayed calm. Suddenly, the police went in, using pepper spray and truncheons. They wanted to arrest some people who were disguised. People started to flee in panic. It was a narrow street, so they could only escape by climbing over the harbour docks. Police went after them. We couldnt see much and stayed where we were, because we hadnt done anything, not even shouted insults. Suddenly, riot police was everywhere. We were pressed against a brick wall behind us, police in front of us. To our left, water canons started to shoot. We only escaped because next to us was a guy in a wheelchair. Police let him pass through their cordon and we ran after him, hands in the air. We ran until we reached a corner where some neighbours were gathering. Some girls intoned the imperial march every time police marched up and down the street. We talked to a kurdish family there who wanted to show their kids that one has to protest against dictators, and shared a beer with a queer female protester. After some time, we went up to Reeperbahn. Others we’re gathering there as well.

Eventually, after almost two hours, we were allowed to proceed and finally walk. It was totally peaceful, music was playing (I feel love and saturday night fever) and the worst shout I heard against the police was “Go away”. I think we were at least 10000 people.

In short, I was exercising my civil rights tonight, just being on the street, taking part in a peaceful demonstration, and was chased by a police force I pay with my tax money through the streets of my hometown, hands raised in the air, fearing at some point for my health and safety because of police violence.

This can’t be right.

2

Adorable French robot wife and oh sure make me carry more of your junk.

Others:
Nick & MacCready
Danse & Hancock
Preston & Piper

Happy National Dog Day!

Dogs evolved from a shared ancestor with wolves at least 10,000 years ago. Studies show that, compared to wolves, canines are generally more interested in humans and more cooperative with their commands. Recently, scientists have posited that there’s a genetic basis for this bond, with hypersocial dogs carrying variants of genes that underpin their friendly behavior. Other researchers argue that humans may have bred a behavioral syndrome into dogs as canines were domesticated over the years.

Some research suggests that dogs can read human facial expressions and intonation, display empathy, and even communicate jealousy. They tend to yawn more in response to their owners’ yawns than to the yawns of unknown humans, and they can read our gestures more readily than chimpanzees can. One experiment even shows that staring into a dog’s eyes can activate the same hormonal response that bonds parents to their babies.

How are you going to celebrate National Dog Day? Let us know in the comments!

anonymous asked:

good thoughts on things that Definitely happened during The Summer of Mutual Pining: makkachin was obviously trained using commands in russian, so victor has to teach yuuri those commands like if he ever wants/needs to tell makka to do something. victor adores the way yuuri's tongue curls around the russian words

ANON YOU BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL FISH.

Imagine the tremendous cardiac stress test that is teaching Yuuri Russian commands while he carefully and seriously repeats after you. He has such beautiful intonation. Maybe he’s practiced Russian before. Or maybe he’s just naturally good at languages, the way he’s naturally good at back-bends and temple-massages and holding himself against a pole with his frankly miraculous thighs.

(Yuuri, who has been practicing how to say “My name is Yuuri Katsuki and it was an honor to skate with you today” since he was fifteen, thinks his intonation sounds very childish and sloppy. It sounds nothing like the actual hundreds of hours of Victor Nikiforov interviews he has watched on YouTube.)

But anyway. As it turns out. All of this is nothing compared to actually seeing Yuuri run through Makkachin’s entire retinue of commands in Russian as Makkachin gets more and more excited about the high-value treat that is surely at the end of this adventure and Victor stands in the corner trying not to choke on air.

As Makkachin complies with the last command (”shake”) they do that devastating maneuver where Yuuri gasps in delight and Makkachin does the universally-recognized ‘please get on the floor so I can give you face-kisses’ dance.

“The best girl,” Yuuri says in his halting Russian. She yips happily and sets about drowning him in kisses. “The smartest and best girl.”

Fuuuuuuck,” Victor somehow does not say.

bzfd.it
Meet The Narrator Of HGTV's 'House Hunters' Franchise
House Hunters and its many spin-offs are a pop culture phenomenon, but the iconic narrator has always been heard and not seen — until now.
By David Mack

To any HGTV fan, Andromeda Dunker has a voice that is instantly recognizable. Her gliding intonation and dulcet tone are as soothing as the comfort-food reality TV shows which she narrates.

Since 2009, Dunker has voiced literally thousands of episodes of the House Hunters franchise, becoming an integral part of the HGTV juggernaut, which drew almost 25 million primetime viewers each month last year.

While the buyers and cities may change, the narrator does not. Episode after episode, Dunker introduces us to a new couple and a new location but with the same sing-song intonation and honeyed tone. She is the show.

Yet, she hasn’t been seen on camera on the network, not even once.

On a channel brimming with handsome homebuilders and homespun husband-and-wife property stars, the woman who gives voice to some of the network’s most popular and obsessively-watched shows stands apart — unlike the others, she is heard but not seen, HGTV’s most famous unfamous person.

“I’ve remained in the shadows,” Dunker told BuzzFeed News. “The conventional wisdom for voiceover actors is you are kind of heard and not seen. It’s just kind of the way it’s always been.”

And she’s never given an extensive interview before — until now.

⇁ dick n’ go (m)

Originally posted by is-your-mac-fully-loaded

pairing⇁Seokjin x Reader

 genre⇁smut, crack || shopping for dicc!au

warnings⇁male objectification, superficiality, fuckgirl!reader, dirty talk, and cocky!jin if that isn’t your thing

word count⇁12.8k 

After trooping through a series of horrendous first dates and mediocre hookups, you were convinced you would never find a man capable of satisfying your needs. Your friend recommends you try a slightly unconventional method to remedy your bad luck.  

alternatively: seokjin has a five star dick and you decide to give it a go

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