that i almost forgot this song existed

my top 10 esc songs: finland

1. 2006 lordi - hard rock hallelujah
lordi deserves to be at the #1. finland has won only once and they managed to do it. also the whole performance is just in another level (wings, pyros). i love how the lyrics are so anti-eurovision. i love it. #torillatavattiin

2. 2014 softengine - something better
at first i didn’t fancy the song but it grew on me. also the boys were so good LIVE. the fact that they were young and did their own music. the background is simple. just them playing music.

3  2008 teräsbetoni - missä miehet ratsastaa
this song is joke to me and my friends but finland needs more LIKE THIS in the eurovision. this is what we are good at sO.. also the extra leather drummers. on a serious note we need more metal entries (also we gotta use our own ugly language)

DISCLAIMER: i may be biased since I love metal & rock oops..

4. 1987 vicky rosti - sata salamaa
one of my fave finnish songs. this. is. everything. this entry deserved much more than it got. + that background (synth) piano is life.

5. 1984 kirka - hengaillaan
kirka is a legend in finland (rest in peace) but this song is happy and almost every finn know it. 

6. 2007 hanna pakarinen - leave me alone
the year finland hosted the show. i almost forgot this song even exists (like most finns) but hanna is amazing and so is this song. 

7. 2009 waldo’s people - lose control
finland really stepped up their eurovision game. waldo himself is a 90′s eurodance legend. and this is a great song. I just hate the background firedancers and how the girls have no real choreography..

8 1985 sonja lumme - eläköön elämä
we need to sing more in finnish. also i love the lyrics.

9. 1991 kaija kärkinen - hullu yö
dramatic af. i enjoy it.

10. 2016 norma john - blackbird
dark, mystical, leena’s voice is insane and lasse’s piano solo is in another level. sadly we didn’t qualify. 

Buster, Eddie and the 6 finalists performing “my shot”. Literally just the eight of them and the theatre is closed and it’s just them and they just have fun singing together like no ones watching and it gets better from there when a new song comes on


A realm of primordial chaos… Who knew it would be so… empty…? I walk this world in search of exit, but I cannot even find the door I first entered through. Every step I take, every drop of my soul screams as it burns. I do not belong here… No, nothing belongs here. The chaos eats away at the remnants of the light that holds my existence together, like a blackhole tearing a star apart to consume it… But I have to hold on. I must endure. 

I was born with a purpose. A purpose I am proud to serve. I was entrusted with a great mission… And only I can fulfill it. Without it, I… I would have no reason to exist. I must exist, because I want to exist. Because… because I am… important… 

How many suns and moons have risen and fallen since I’ve been imprisoned here in solitude? What happened to the world of the shattered El? I do not know… But now… my senses are… slowly becoming dull and numb… My memory… hazy. Why… am I here…? I was… created by… I must… do something…? …Who… am I? Everything… is becoming dimmer… 

I wilt away like a lonely flower in the middle of a barren desert, forgotten by everyone, and remembered by no one. Eventually the sand of time will bury what’s left of me, and it will be as if I had never existed. Even if I disappear, nothing will change… The thought alone surprisingly calmed me. In the sea of nothingness, I slowly closed my eyes. 

Maybe withering away is the only exit out of here…

It was then when I heard someone calling out my… …Name? Yes, my name. I had a name… I have a name. And someone remembered me… After all this time… I am remembered. I was not… forgotten. I am still… needed… somewhere. I must… answer that call. I must get out of here.

I searched for the sound, struggling to remember the familiar melody I had heard in my earliest memory. I grew desperate; before the song ends, I must find its source, before I am lost in this labyrinth forever. When I turned around, there it was, the beacon of my salvation, shining against the darkness and becknoning me to my destiny. I looked upon it like it was the very first sun that had risen to break the long spell of lightless winter. 

I am returning… to the place where I belong.

I shut my eyes to brace myself for the blinding light that broke into the rift. It’s been so long… I almost forgot how the realm of existence felt. Soft breeze gently caressed my skin, and I realized I was free from my eternal prison. I opened my eyes and what came into my view was… an unexpected sight: in the middle of a lush green forest, a red-haired boy stood before me. He either didn’t notice my arrival, or was expecting its exact moment that he did not see the reason to turn around to face me.

He did not utter a word but I instinctively knew who he was, and so, I knelt.

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Oh hi my dear fellows

I Got tagged? Whoops forgot i existed there @gabi-with-ravioli thanks you’re really cool 😊

Um I’m on mobile so formats shit but here ya go?? Idk what I’m doing

Goal: tag 9 people I guess? Yup

Relationship status: I’m married to my mp3 player and 5,000 song playlist sorry

Favourite colour: um. Blue grey ish? I like the colour of pale ash and the overcast sky, but also blue, almost all shades of blue, I love blue ok

Lipstick vs chapstick: uh I never use lipstick and I generally tend to dislike the feeling of chapstick. So neither I guess

Last song I listened to: well I’m listening to music right now. The one im hearing now is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and the last one was Hammerhead by Offspring. Boring compared to the other weird shit I like to listen to.

Last movie I watched: hm. Let me check netflix: I think it was Kubo and the Two Strings but yeah I’m prob wrong

Top 3 TV shows: Wakfu, X'amd: Forgotten Memories, Skylanders Academy (whoops Let me curl into a ball now) and also Wander Over Yonder cuz hecky my man

Top 3 Characters: uhhh Ulquirra from Bleach, Wilson from Don’t Starve, uhhh, I guess I’ll just say Charlie from Dont Starve so I don’t dig myself into a deeper wiabu (how the fuck do you spell that???) pit

Top 3 ships: like gabi-with-ravioli, I’m a huge multi-shipper so I’m up for almost anything. I guess I hard core ship a couple ships, but ehhh I’ll leave you in the dark (haha it’s not cuz I’m embarrassed or anything nope)

Uhh I guess that’s it so here come the tags: @vergak (god theyre so cool, love them 👍) @valsadoinferno (hi you’ve been my mutual for a while sorry I’m so terrible) @starlightnidamaedreamer (you’re really awesome at writing I’m just terrible at talking) @dubydoods (um hi I haven’t known you for long and I wish you the best, you’ve got a++ art btw) @rottingbirdies (psh what do you mean I can’t tag my sister whaaat) oh and @bise-of-the-north (i actually forgot gigdbkjn but yeah i really want to see your art! And you seem cool too) and here come the ones I shouldn’t tag but ehhh why not it’s almost 11 pm and I’m tired @dinoburger @lone-sock @junkiedoodledandy @wilson-the-scientist @rainy-maxwils @strangesmolchild @golden-nostril @wisecrownvoid

Uh if I didn’t tag you im sorry I’m just terrible and I only found courage for these guys so…. Also if you don’t want to you don’t have to cuz I know I flipped my lid when I got tagged I mean I’ve been on social media for two years and this is a first (whoops I’ll shut my trap now)

I See Now (feat. Kanye West & Consequence)
Little Brother
I See Now (feat. Kanye West & Consequence)

The other day I came across a box filled with a bunch of CDs I burnt back in the day. A lot of them were labeled “Best of…” the corresponding year. When I saw the “Best of 2004,” I had to listen to it. I remember very clearly being very into hip hop and especially enjoying the music that was produced that year after a lackluster 2003. 

When I started playing the mix, a song that I completely forgot existed began to play. “I See Now” by Little Brother feat. Kanye West and Consequence. 

I was a huge Little Brother fan back then. There was a 3 month period where all I listened to was them. “The Listening” is such an underrated and under-appreciated album. Phonte was a good emcee and 9th Wonder, while slightly overrated, was a solid producer. 2004-2005, Little Brother was almost famous, haha.

But back to the song. Now that I rediscovered it, the track has been on brainwash repeat. I don’t recall whether or not this was on “The Chitlin Circuit” mixtape, but who cares. I like the beat on this, Phonte had a dope verse, and I LOVE Kanye’s performance. Nothing mind-blowing, just simple and potent. He just oozes charisma.

“Now how the hell I end up arguing with this biiiiiitttch
Know EVERYTHING, but don’t know sheeeeiiit." 

What makes me sad is that 2004 is now considered throwback. How is ‘04 already 10 years ago? Noooooooooo.

some “beyond two- whoops I mean “life is strange” art per e-vay‘s request! you’re the only person who requested something so i messed around with it more than i might have.

i’m watching a let’s play of it right now, and i’m 45 min in and still not sure what to think… it reminds me so much of real highschool that it’s almost hard to watch. i couldn’t believe they used a syd matters song, like, that was one of my angsty teenage bands when I WAS in highschool and i totally forgot they existed until hearing them in the LP. craziness!


Ohhhhh, where do I begin?

The concert was such an ephemeral, yet exhilarating experience.

After waiting for 4-5 hours, I entered the venue and rushed to the left side of the floor so that I could admire Reita, my bias. But there were so many tall people there already, so I started worrying and had to make a decision. Should I stay in this spot for the sake of seeing Reita where I can barely see? Or, should I go to the left side where there is more space right now?

Aaaaandd running to the left side was one of the best decisions of my life because I ended up getting a first row spot on the floor (an elevated area behind the pit), putting me EXACTLY IN URUHA’S LINE OF SIGHT.

I really love all the GazettE members, and if I was painfully forced to put them in order from the most to least favored, REITA, would be first (Aoi is creeping up after him though lol), and Ruki would be my least. 

HOWEVER, that CHANGED after the concert. Once it started, I just AASDJFH#$&*P$;AJSDFH; I was hit with unexplainable, powerful feelings, making me forgot about Reita being my bias. EVERY SINGLE MEMBER WAS SO MESMERIZING AND CAPTIVATING, AND I COULD NOT DECIDE WHO TO LOOK AT. The first 2 songs were DOGMA and RAGE, AND I FOUND MYSELF STARING AT RUKI FOR THOSE TWO ENTIRE SONGS. I COULD NOT, I REPEAT, COULD NOT TEAR MY EYES AWAY FROM HIM. Ruki has got my full attention and he is definitely not last anymore.


Because they all had this MAGNETIC CHARISMA,I spent half the concert STARING at ONE MEMBER AT A TIME for EACH SONG. And in each of those moments, I ALMOST FORGOT THAT OTHER MEMBERS EXISTED AS WELL, apart from the one that I was admiring in that moment lol. EVERY MEMBER SEEMED TO OUTSHINE EACH OTHER, YET THEY WERE ALL EQUALLY CAPTIVATING AND BEAUTIFUL.

I expected to mostly see Reita at the live, but I felt so attacked (in a good way lol) by Aoi, Kai, Ruki, and especially Uruha because he was RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME. I love all of them so much, words can’t even describe.

*I will be breaking up my experience into several posts because I have too much to talk about and I feel like it will be easier to read. I’m sorry; just… too many emotions lol*