I watch all these hockey babies at the ASG and honestly all I can think about is like the Zimbittle baby scoring a goal against Uncle Chowder at the ASG and having the cutest celly ever and like skating down the line of hockey players to get fist bumps while Bitty tweets furiously and takes pictures and Jack looks like a proud papa bear.
TBH hockey players are on a different level of attractiveness. Because people who don’t like hockey literally think everyone’s unattractive but if you like hockey someone blinks in the right way and we literally drop our pants
in order to sway a decidedly unimpressed kit purrson, one off-season tater invests in a huge fluffy cat onesie. kent comes home to the sight of his giant russian boyfriend crouched on the couch in a glorified footie pyjamas and laughs so hard he has to sit down on the living room floor. it has a tail. and ears. ‘yes, you laugh,’ tater tuts, ‘we see who laugh when cat loves me better.’
the craziest part? it actually works. kit refuses to leave tater’s side the rest of the month and kent is torn between irrational jealousy and hysterical laughter because what the actual fuck, man. what the fuck.