that guy is a real man

the bank job/crime & punishment

alright. let me start off by saying i’m sitting here with a cup of tea because i think i’m in shock. ugh. like last week, i’ve just bulletpointed again because so much happened and i’m sorry for the language and the amount of capitals but i wrote this in real time watching the episodes and they have messed me up man. if u guys wanna share thoughts with me or ask questions pls do because we’re all in this together(i luv hsm). here we go.

the bank job:

  • “do i even have quads?”
  • rosa looked so funny “wagging her tail” with a serious look on her face
  • “if my desk phone rings just ignore it i don’t answer it anyway”
  • THEY MET UP WITH HOLT IN A CAR WASH WHAT THE HELL Y’ALL COULD HAVE JUST GONE TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE
  • “she’s a smooth criminal, M.J, RIP”
  • adrien pimento king of casual one liners, case in point: “i won’t do kids, that’s a rule. but that rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick”
  • amy is honestly the least subtle person when she’s trying to be chill i luv her
  • “come on fetus, let’s bounce" 
  • ok but like…jake beating up pimento did things to me like not to be out of line but it was highkey rly hot i was into it big time
  • "brother to sister, you’ve never looked sexier”
  • HITCHCOCK’S DISGUISE MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH I DID NOT EXPECT IT
  • sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet 
  • “women can be drug dealers too hashtag i’m with her” jake is all about that equality even when drugs are involved
  • OHHH MY GOD THEY WENT TO THE WRONG BANK
  • THIS IS FUCKED
  • HAWKINS U BITCH ASS
  • “I’M A CLEAN BOY!” WE KNOW BABY WE KNOW IT’S OKAY 


crime & punishment:

  • r they having a candlelit vigil for a dead rat??? is that?? am i seeing this right????
  • jake’s mugshot lmaoooo
  • a la la land singalong WHO IS THIS ROSA
  • “don’t lose” thanks holt real motivational!!!!
  • charles with white hair does NOT look right
  •  "you need to get your crap in order!“ "okay, yeah you’re right. i’ll take a nap” me when i wanna ignore my life
  •  "i love you" “i know, han solo. love you too”
  • rosa’s wearing piiiiiiink
  • I’M SO ANGRY HAWKINS IS SUCH A GOD DAMN BITCH
  • JAKE REALLY MADE A TITLE OF YOUR SEX TAPE JOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF COURT
  • charles having the realisation he’s not a crippled old man was such an uplifting experience
  •  oh man suddenly i want some onion rings real bad
  • “ames how would you like to take a romantic trip to the town of horse ditch, pennsylvania” yah jake ~*so romantic*~
  • holt and rosa’s relationship in this episode is so important
  • TERRY MODELLING IN JAPAN IM SO
  • amy called jake babe and it really gave me the tiniest bit of life
  • “i’ll wait for you, i’ll keep fighting for you and so will everyone at the nine nine” i cried GET MARRIED
  • rosa’s wearing pink agaaaaaaiiiinnn
  • “you guys are so cute and i love you” pregnancy made gina nice
  • THE MUSIC WHEN JAKE AMY AND MATTHEW ENTER THE COURTROOM WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHA 
  • ok the moment they figured out where the money had been transferred from - my entire body just drained
  • LIKE YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME BITCH
  • WHAT THE FUCK
  • gina putting her hand on amy’s shoulder was like the sweetest thing ever it made me happy for 0.03 seconds
  • has anyone counted how many times jake said “cool” because that’s a damn achievement @ andy samberg how did u do that
  • THEY REALLY ENDED THE EPISODE THERE. WOW. OK. SWEET. THANKS WRITERS. THANKS FOX. THANKS DAN GOOR. I’M KIDDING, NOT THANKS, NOT THANKS AT ALL.
  • I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA END WITH A GOD DAMN PROPOSAL BITCH I WAS ROOTING FOR IT WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR IT
  • Y’ALL REALLY THINK I’M GONNA WAIT ANOTHER 4-5 MONTHS FOR THIS SHIT TO BE RESOLVED? WELL YOU’RE RIGHT, I AM, BUT I’M NOT GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT IT


in conclusion: i am sad.

WTF

Hacking takes time and effort. So to the person who got Katie’s brothers phone number you knew exactly what you were doing and that’s fucked up. Like honestly how can anyone in their right mind think to do something like that. The fact that this man who was so nice to this fandom no longer feels comfortable is not okay. Like honestly CHILL THE FUCK OUT. We all love Katie and her character but you guys need to separate real life and fiction.

Graham Norton's best eurovision salt 2k17 (so far)

- “Ironically enough for a man singing a song called "My Friend”, he doesn’t seem to have any.“

- *Presenters walk out* "Oh, just as we were enjoying ourselves.”

- “Technical errors? or maybe he’s just not that great.”

- (Presenter: “I know what you’re thinking.”) “No, you don’t.”

- (Presenter: “There’s so much love in this room tonight!”) “Not for you.”

- “If you think my job’s easy, just wait until you see the guy pretending to play the saxophone for three minutes.”

Hey quick reminder that:

Wolverine is 5'3
Genji Shimada is 5'5
Prince was 5'2
Lucio is 5'2
Bruno Mars is 5'5
Robin Williams was 5'6

Trans guys don’t always get the privilege of being conventionally tall but there’s plenty of both real and fictional men who weren’t towering giants either, and they’re still fantastic. Great things sometimes come in small packages, and you’re not any less manly for it.

2

when your best bud has a crush on some edgy guy and starts a rivalry with him to hide the fact that he’s big time pining, but it’s not hidden at all because everyone already knows about it and is angry that he won’t drop the act oh my god lance just drop the act already. everyone knows. we all know. i know. shay knows. coran knows. the mice know. maybe even prince motor vehicle knows.

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Riordan dudes react to Tumblr!
  • Jason: Hmph, seems neat. Lots of people love us. What do you guys think?
  • Percy: Nice choice of color for the site if I do say so myself! What about you, guys!
  • Magnus: *In embarrassed tone* Man, these guys are nuts, thinking me & Alex are a thing! That bone-headed, lifeless, green-haired, peppermint-smelling, beautiful-eyed, completely perfect angel of...THIS WEBSITE'S COLOR SUCKS!!!
  • Carter: *In frustrated tone* Wow, I'm about as noticed here as I am in real life. What about you, Nico?
  • *Nico has a smile covering over his face, blushing*
  • Nico: *Whispering* solangelo

ALRIGHT FOLKS I WENT TO THE NERD SHOP AGAIN

AND AMONG MANY OTHER THINGS I GOT THIS BOOK

IT’S TONY TALKING TO YOU ABOUT HIS LIFE AND HIS PAST AND SHIT AND IT COMES WITH ALL THESE LITTLE EXTRAS OH MAN

HIS FUCKIN MIT DEGREE DUDE NICE PROUD OF YOU TONY

LOOK AT THIS. FUCKIN. SAFETY PROCEDURE FOR FLYING OUT OF A GODDAMN PLANE

AN INVITATION TO AN AVENGERS NEW YEARS PARTY YES SEE YOU THERE

BLUEPRINTS. BLUEPRINTS OF THE ARC REACTOR AND ARMOUR. I’M SO ALIVE.

IT’S A POPOUT DIAGRAM

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE LETTER FROM BRUCE TO TONY THAT GETS MORE AGGRESSIVE

AIM APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT. THE QUESTIONNAIRE. ‘I HAVE CONQUERED SMALL NATIONS Y/N. I HAVE VISITED ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS Y/N.’

AUTOGRAPHED TONY PICTURE SWEET THANKS TONES

LOOK AT THESE DORKY PHOTOS I’M SO BLESSED

Markiplier Theory: Markiplier’s Egos are trying to take over through TV- but why?

But Dark isn’t the one who’s the top power. He’s on the other end. He’s just the other guy who’s controlling the meeting.

The other one was standing. Wilford Warfstache. And by visual, that means he’s controlling the team. He’s the one manning the ship. And by technicalities, that means he’s the one fueling the movement of the egos, since in meetings the one who’s standing is the project head. 

Dark wanted to take control, but failed all the time. He literally cracks all the time when he possesses Mark. The real ending with ADWM is that he doesn’t even win. You still get the ‘retry’ option after it because it’s not the ending that you’re supposed to get. He’s still defeated.

Dark reinforces his admiration to Wilford in the video. He says “Look. Will. I respect you. I always had.” He turned to Wilford because he’s not the one who could do it. 

Wilford has always been a seamless character, no problems in confronting Mark head-on. He has been on TV for so many times (though ending in a bad way). Wilford has interviewed Mark, Slenderman, FNAF guys, and all. He has the most power out of all the egos. 

Take note he’s the base character/ego. He’s literally the one on Mark’s profile pic forever. 

Wilford hijacks the game that was initially for Bim Trimmer. He hijacks the Bubbles commercial. He’s the one presenting the idea to everyone. And his idea is amazing. Because TV isn’t only for TV anymore.

You can get TV shows through the internet. TV is the main media- you get news, you get drama, movies, et cetera. And now the egos are targeting that.

This also implies Wilford got every, single possible ego to help him in the endeavor. It might have been lost in Dark’s eyes (he’s not one for entertainment. He doesn’t get it. But he still concedes because it’s Wilford.) There were new egos introduced here.


Now: Everyone’s roles in the TV Industry

Game Show Segments: Bim Trimmer. He was the one who decided the game, and hosts on weird conditions. He had the Disc of Riches, and most probably others too.

Commercials/Advertisements Segments: Ad Mark (probably akin to Scent O’ Iplier advertisement) is seen and heard in the Bubbles segment.  Ed Edgar Adopt-a-Lot, who was supposed to have a “30 second segment, barely getting 5”. He wants the money. 

Movies/Series: Silver Surfer. What’s the most prominent series right now? It’s usually the ones with heroes. He says “he took a break from crime fighting to pursue entertainment”. He’s the one that’s going to star in those series, usually on Netflix. Another one, akin to “House, Grey’s Anatomy, etc”, Dr. Iplier is going to be the star. He says “I came across as a professional and handsome actor.” Let it be known that the ‘hit’ looks for doctors are hot ones- which Dr. Iplier readily knows. However it is to be noted that Septiplier is an actual ego (lol) which might have been a romantic segment for a series.

News: The Jims. Both are Jims- Jim the head newscaster, and the weather reporter. This means that they are literally broadcasting, not only to TV, but on radio and newspaper as well. The other Jim was on the Sun as well. This implies their range of power. Probably has connections all over the world because of their status of being reporters.

Music: Mark Bop. Akin to MTV, this one is targeting the music industry. He’s alive and bringing back the classics, and most probably going to make more. He’s doing revivals, he’s going to dominate.

Reality TV: Possibly the only one that was intended to where the ‘real’ Mark and the team were supposed to show up. They are shown as the ‘actors’ of their ‘roles’- with Mark as Markiplier, Amy as Peebles, Kathryn as Editor, Tyler as Apocalypto_12, and Ethan as Crankgameplays. (This still means that Wilford got them to do this for Markiplier TV.)

— Also the segments of “Bad Dog” can be compared to those series you’d see on AXN, like Breaking the Magician’s Code. Mark ‘crying’ and the subscriber drop is a close second here, most probably those series with “Living with the…” titles. It is important to note that Kathryn was also there at Wilford in the Disc of Riches, where the whole team was. It might be speculated that the Teamiplier are just actors, and Tyler just acted dead because it’s obvious Wilford didn’t really have bullets when it sounded, and Kathryn was more of the behind-the-scenes type.—-

Other possible TV segments: Informational-Probably like Nat Geo, King of the Squirrels might be in this part, however he is shown to be out of the meeting- possibly because it’s a so-so segment. Wilford doesn’t know what to do yet with him, alongside the many other missing egos. Talk Show- maybe more directed to Wilford or Bim Trimmer.

Technical Run Through: Google. He’s the one who keeps them at bay, to let them remember their ‘primary objective’. With his role in the meeting room, it can be assumed that he is the one holding the technical stuff- when the episodes air, how the lighting is, cameras are placed, etc. This also means that whatever is shown on TV will be uploaded on the internet. It will be easily accessible. Alongside him is The Author, now known as The Host. He tells how everything goes in how the things should go. He’s the scriptwriter. He’s the director. He literally is a host to the people watching Television. Without the structure of a show, how does one run? Without the audience’s help, how does a show follow through? Without good mediums, who will like it? That’s his job.

Now, Dark and Wilford are the acting CEOs. They don’t necessarily have the segments, but that mean they are the ones who are going to control the whole operation. Dark’s probably like the ‘president’ and Wilford is the ‘CEO’ of Markiplier TV. (President: Second-in-command. CEO: owner, chief). Usually the CEO who is on screen more than the president, which makes sense in this way.


Now, what do you guys think?

someone in my class: my god this is so easy why are we going over it in class

me:

Which member would BTS date?(Compilation)

This is a compilation of the times BTS has answered this question. Please note that I have not included any fan-accounts/post-its because there are many and several of them have been found to be fake. People often make things up. Hence, I’ve only included OFFICIAL sources.

After School Club 2013
Q.
If you had the chance to date one of your group members, who would it be?
V: J-Hope (because he’s clean and tidy)
Suga: Suga
(The others were not asked this)


Kpoppin’ Interview 2013
Q: If you were a girl which member would you date?
A: Jin says Jimin because he thinks it would be fun to tease Jimin since Jimin is so shy and soft spoken.  Rap Monster says J-Hope because J-Hope is like the eomma in the dorm and Rap Monster thinks he would do that much more for his girlfriend.
Suga answered Jimin, and Jungkook answered Jin.
(The others were not asked this)


[EXCLUSIVE] K-POPPED! INTERVIEW WITH BANGTAN BOYS
To Jimin : If you are a girl, who would you choose to date among the members? Who would be the best ‘oppa’ and why?
Jimin: J-Hope. He is the most cheerful person and he takes care of someone well so he can love his girlfriend very well.

Hanryupia 2014 January Issue
JIMIN:「You’re more than a close friend. You’re my savior! So you’re very precious (to me) and I want to be with you even when we become grandfathers. ♥」
V: 「It’s a bit… to accept that kind of love (laughs)」
JIMIN: 「Then, who are you going to pick among the members, if you had to be a couple!?」
V:「Maybe J-Hope. He’s funny so it feels like we can spend everyday smiling/ laughing. And he likes to be organized. If Jiminie brushes up your humor sense, I may think about it.」
JIMIN: 「Shocking! I picked V unquestioningly! (Shrinks down)」


BTS in Singapore
Q. If other member’s were girls, who would you date and why?
Jin: I don’t like them but Jimin is so kind and so gentleman(ly), so I want a date with Jimin.



BTS at Haru Hana Magazine Vol. 22 (Twitter Q&A) [141022]
Q: If you were a girl, who do you want to have a relationship with?
JIN & JUNG KOOK: I choose myself.
SUGA: If I were a girl, I think I would also want to choose myself. (smiles) I’m not playful and not talkative, and I do everything calmly… My personality just like dad.
JIMIN: I choose Jungkook. He gets shy easily which is his cute side. He also has a manly side.
V: I choose J-Hope hyung. Although he is not a funny guy, his smile always make people’s mood become better.
RAP MON: I also choose J-Hope and Jimin. I don’t like bad woman or bad man types. I think the person who likes someone can express their feeling directly is better. If I were a girl I would choose the man that will treat me really seriously. So these two people are my answer.
J-HOPE: I LOVE YOU,RAP MON . I also choose RAP MON!He is a real man, If I were a girl, I will be attracted by his voice. He might compose songs for me, it sounds pretty nice.


SKIT: SOULMATE (Skool Luv Affair)(2014)
J-Hope:
Let’s talk about our ideal type!
V: Hyung, what’s your ideal type?
J-Hope: Me? A girl like you


BTS at Haru Hana Magazine Vol. 23 (member solo question Q&A) [140322]
Question to J-Hope:  In “Skit: Soulmate”, you said your ideal type would be V, is that true?
A: Yes, that’s because V and me usually have a very good relationship - we’d usually make jokes, so when we were recording it, his name just automatically came out (haha). None of what’s in the Skit was pre-planned so it was very realistic.

2015 MINA FEBRUARY ISSUE
If you’re a girl, which member would you date and why?
JHOPE:
Jimin. He looks like he’ll totally obey his girlfriend.
RM:
Jimin. He’s very gentle.
SUGA:
Me, because I like those with my type of personality.
JIMIN:
Jimin! Too charming!
V:
V. I will devote everything when I’m dating.
JIN:
None because I know everyone’s personality…
JK:
None. I absolutely do not want to date them (laughs).

TRB IN MALAYSIA 2015
Jungkook:  Jimin hyung is such a nice guy. His personality is just too nice. And he (keeps giving me) nice food. And when he smiles, his eyes are so pretty. He’s the most charming guy in the team. If I were a girl, I would date a guy like Jimin hyung.


This is all I have. If anybody knows any other OFFICIAL sources where the members have answered such questions, please message me and I’ll add it to this list.

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."