that evil sorcerer

Not the best godparents

The aasimar bard, me, who had been seeing the now Queen of the region’s pirates for some time, has just found out they have a daughter together.

Human fighter to the halfling druid: “YO, YOU COULD SHAPESHIFT AND GIVE HER PONY RIDES!!”

Elf rogue: “And I can teach her how to sneak…”

Bard: “Varrok (The drunken, chaotic evil, half-demon sorcerer) isn’t going anywhere near her.”

Sorcerer: “What? Why not?! I can teach her all about drinking and– I’m just gonna stop myself there…”

So recently i started reading this manga Dungeon Meshi. I fucking love it.

So there’s this group of adventures exploring a dungeon RPG style, you know like go into the dungeon defeat the evil sorcerer kinda stuff. They get pretty deep in it and they run into a dragon.

They could totally take it down except there was one problem…they ran out of food and were way too hungry to take it on. So…

They got their asses handed to them. Their mage is casting their “get the hell out of there” spell but the main characters sister get eaten by the dragon. When he realizes what happen he wants to go back down on a rescue mission, if they can get there before the dragon finishes digesting her they can fix her up good as new.  BUT there are problems, the biggest one is

they broke yo. They dropped most of their loot when they were dying. They got no money to buy supplies, no money to replace the members that left, and not a lot of time to fix that problem. So our three brave adventurers decide to go in on their own with nothing but what they managed to have equipped. But how do they solve the food problem?

YEP! THE MC TELLS THEM THEY ARE GONNA EAT MONSTERS! But none of them have actually cooked or eaten monsters before. So the MC is about to cook a giant scorpion when this dude shows up

Meet Senshi, he has spent a decade in the mid part of the dungeon cooking and eating monsters. He gets interested when he finally meets some people who also want to eat monsters and decides to show them how to cook.

He knows his shit. So in case you haven’t figured it out…

This is a cooking manga.

AND THUS THESE FOUR BRAVE AND HUNGRY ADVENTURES BEGIN THEIR MISSION TO DEFEAT THE DRAGON AND SAVE THE MC’S SISTER!

…I just love the idea about it. It was a one shot that became a series. Give it a read if you want.

5

but Gideon was unafraid. He drew his sword and turned to face the evil Sorcerer, ready to save the people he loved. This is the first book that my mother ever read to me. I used to tell her that when I grew up, I was going to be a strong, brave hero, just like Gideon in the book. Maybe you could grow up to be like him someday.

The sorcerer who cried ghost

So, this little misadventure begins with my group doing the Village of Whitwick one shot (I was a player this time). We had been investigating around town and had found a place to stake out as well as been gifted a silver dagger (which had been promptly claimed by the sorcerer). We waited for quite some time until the thing we were trying to find snatched a child and ran to the nearby woods with it. Naturally, my self as a Halfling fighter and the others, a blood hunter, a ranger and the chaotic evil/stupid sorcerer began to give chase.

Our DM had the creature lure us into an ambush by chaining the child to what seemed to be a ritual rock, blood stains with the chains buried into the ground. The sorcerer begins trying to free the child as the rest of us fight off the creature. After a few failed attempts and a few rounds of combat, the sorcerer is out of ideas when the blood hunter shouts “The knife!”.

Anyone, literally anyone else would have thought ‘Oh, right! We think the knife will hurt it because it was gifted to us, so let’s use it!’. However, this sorcerer says “Right!” and proceeds to STAB THE CHILD IN THE HEART, MURDERING IT IN COLD BLOOD. She even decided to wipe the blade clean and hide it like nothing had happened. Not even the worst part, as after the creature ran our characters turned around asking how the hell this had happened, her excuse? “It was a sspppooookkkyyy gghhooossstttt.” She got a critical hit on her bluff check and we all failed, thus successfully pinning the murder of a helpless child on a non-existent, very spooky ghost.

I want a Kings AU fic where it follows the line of kings that were in the Let’s Plays a bit.

I want King Ryan and his ‘Queen’ Gavin. Something happens where Ryan is presumed to be missing or even dead. So Gavin takes over the kingdom and rules the land.

But maybe a few years later there’s talk of an evil sorcerer that’s just on the outskirts of the kingdom and soon he arrives and oh god it’s Ryan. But, under a spell of some sort. He takes back the crown from Gavin and makes him a slave or something like that.

But, Gavin knows that there’s something wrong with his husband and brakes the curse and yay happy husband kings again. 

edit: 

There would be so much angst. Like in the beginning when Ryan gets back Gavin’s just happy to see him back. At first he doesn’t see the big change in Ryan’s attitude but there’s emotional and maybe even physical abuse. Where Ryan is paranoid thinking that Gavin’s gonna take the crown back so maybe even sends him to the dungeons.

And when the curse breaks Ryan can’t believe what happened while he was under the curse and Gavin flinches and curls up into a ball when Ryan even raises his voice a little bit.

It takes a long time for things to be okay again. Cause angst.

9

Fav parts in ClassicaLoid ep 19:

  1.  Sakurai Takahiro voicing the evil sorcerer bird - Rothbart (aka a big ass Hasshie) And he used that sexy voice damn him I didn’t want to feel hot when a bird’s talking.
  2. The Schupin couple XD 
  3. The lesbian idol couple
  4. But in the end Schubert is always gay for his senpai <3

In short - this ep was really gay. 

Critical Pastries + Sensory Deprivation

(Our party just got invited into an old lady’s house for tea and baked goods.)

DM: “She serves tea and uh…cookies or crumpets, I dunno. Whatever.”

Sorcerer: “Can I roll Investigation on whether they’re cookies or crumpets?”

DM: “…it doesn’t matter.”

Sorcerer: *rolls anyway, gets Nat20* “ARE THEY COOKIES OR CRUMPETS?”

DM: “…they’re sugar cookies, okay?”

// BONUS //

(We later find out this old lady is blind, and the aforementioned sorcerer is a chaotic evil dragonborn, so as everyone’s about to leave…)

DM: “You guys also realize as she’s feeling around in a kitchen cabinet that she is entirely blind.”

Orc Barbarian (very Neutral): “Okay. I don’t know what to do with this information, but can I ask her if I can take some cookies to go?”

Sorcerer (Chaotic Evil): “…do I have advantage on Sleight of Hand? Is there even anything in here worth stealing?”

(There was advantage but nothing to take. The Barbarian took some cookies.)

DM: “Okay, so you guys are ready to go?”

Rest of party: “Yeah I suppose.”

Sorcerer: “…she’s totally blind, right?”

DM: *already getting worried* “Yes…”

Sorcerer: “I cast Deafness on her too as we leave. It’s like we vaporized into thin air.”

DM: “This poor lady.”

ColdFlash Stardust AU

Thank you, @tabihe and @farflungstars for reminding me of this with their ColdFlashWave unicorn AU circulating.

Mr. Crimson and I watched Stardust over Christmas and I was reminded how much I LOVE that movie, and couldn’t help thinking ColdFlash.

At first I thought Barry would be the star, and then I realized I was being ridiculous - Len is the star!

Henry Allen was adventurous in his youth and crossed the wall only to meet and fall in love with the captured Princess Nora, who he couldn’t save because she was the prisoner of the evil sorcerer Eobard. But nine months after their encounter, Henry was delivered a beautiful baby boy named Barry that he raised happily.

Now an adult, Barry is hopelessly in love with his best friend Iris - who happens to be in love with someone else, Eddie. And the problem is…Eddie is awesome. He’s a great guy, it’s just…Barry is the one who’s supposed to be with Iris! And he knows that if he can just prove his love to her, she’ll realize her mistake and be with him instead.

Only of course Barry never expresses his love, he pines from afar and tries to woo her quietly, which isn’t working at all. Until one night when they sneak out to watch the stars, Barry gathering the strength to finally confess his feelings, when they see a fallen star. Iris thinks it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, and Barry vows to get it for her. She tells him not to do anything dangerous, her birthday is months away, and the star fell on the other side of the WALL, but Barry decides to go anyway.

Len is Yvaine, the Fallen Star

Barry is Tristan Thorn

HR is Prince Primus, the nicer if more foolish of the king’s twin sons

Harry is Prince Septimus, the more serious of the twins

James Jesse is Ferdiland “Ferdy” the Fence, a frequent client of Shakespeare

Sara is Captain Shakespeare of the Waverider, a famous pirate

The Legends and Rogues are the pirates – Ray, Jax, Martin, Nate, Amaya, Mark, Shawna, Hartley

Vandal Savage is Lamia, the Dark King of the Witches

Damien Darhk is Mormo, Vandal’s brother

Malcolm Merlin is Empusa, Vandal’s other brother

Henry Allen is Dunstan Thorn, Barry’s father

Iris is Victoria Forester, Barry’s best friend and crush

Eddie is Humphrey, Iris’s boyfriend

Rip is the Wall Guard

Nora is Princess Una, Barry’s mother and captive of the witch Ditchwater Sal

Eobard is Ditchwater Sal

Kendra and Carter are hawks Vandal turns human when faking the inn

Mick is the unicorn that rescues Yvaine, but in this story he is a thief who stumbles upon Len chained to a tree and wants the diamond, which Len is more than happy to give him, no stealing required, “just get me out of here,” so Mick lets him go and travels with him to the inn. Mick tries to help when Vandal attacks, but Barry and Len get away by candlelight, so Mick hides and bides his time, only to eventually end up tracking them at the end to help – and bringing the diamond that reacts to Barry when he touches it, proving he’s the last heir.

The difference in this story is that when the king died, it was automatic that the gem would try to find the rightful heir, which, since Nora is older than her twin brothers HR and Harry, shot out the window trying to find her, but got confused by Eobard’s magic hiding Nora, and ended up knocking Len out of the sky instead. HR and Harry, who are not at all trying to kill each other, split up to find it. They gave up finding their sister alive years ago, but now they think she might be out there.

HR and Harry could both be killed like the princes in the story, or manage to survive. Either way, Nora and Henry end up becoming Queen and Prince Consort, while Barry and Len go out and have adventures with Mick, Sara, and the pirates, but eventually take over with Barry as king when the time comes.

They still end up going into the sky at the end of Barry’s life, where he is rejuvenated and reborn as a star to shine forever with Len.

The more I think about Anakin in the Opera House with Palpatine, the more frustrated I become with Anakin. 

Not only did evil Sidious basically tell him outright that, “Yeah, I’m a Sith Lord who killed his former master,” with his “tale,” but he invites him to a ballet that LITERALLY depicts a young man being manipulated to choose dark (black swan) over light (white swan) by an evil sorcerer! Assuming that Squid Lake is a stand-in for Swan Lake. 

Honestly, Anakin, you should have paid a bit more attention in your literary criticism and arts classes at the Temple. MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL!

Arts and humanities education saves (Jedi) lives, people.