This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time of the train wrong. I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.
I want you to picture the scene. It’s very important that you get this very clear in your mind. Here’s the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There’s a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase. It didn’t look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.
You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know… But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn’t do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?
In the end I thought, Nothing for it, I’ll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, That settled him. But it hadn’t because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie. Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice …” I mean, it doesn’t really work.
We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away. Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back.
A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.
The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who’s had the same exact story, only he doesn’t have the punch line.
Douglas Adams, well known for writing The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy shares a very British story
((Okay, so @doodledrawsthings got me interested in hell’s au, and then the subject of mortality came to be. Then @kitkat1003 wrote an amazing fic, and well… this happened))
I guess it wouldn’t have been long before Joey and I would kick the bucket. Who would have guessed 70 years in the studio would go by so quickly am I right?
Anyway, I guess this is just a bit of a sendoff before Joey and I take our dirt nap. If by some miracle by God you start getting a sick feeling in your stomache, excessive ink overflow, or wanting to lay in bed for all eternity and contemplate your existence, then just think of this as revenge for trying to drown me in ink on that Thursday those years ago.
So yes, surprise! People die for real here. It’s a damn slow, natural thing we do, a thing we can’t control. No one lasts forever in this world no matter how hard we try to make them last. So you’ll probably think, “Henry! You sicko! Why the hell are you so nonchalant about this?!” I won’t say anything or course, because you know, I’ll be dead.
And besides, you always said that I was a sort of moody guy. I guess you finally rubbed off on me after all these years.
But hey boss, chin up, here comes the better part. We may not last forever, but you, Boris, Alice, everyone else, you guys sure will.
Now you’re probably getting mad at Joey for making you this way right? Even I still think he’s insane for doing what he did, but after this experience I have realized some virtues in his work. Bendy, you’re a legacy. The people of this world know that one day they’re all going to die. Some like me and Joey accept it, but keep on hoping. But there are others who know it, but they’ve given up all hope. They forget how to laugh and enjoy their time here because they don’t see the point.
That’s where you and the gang come in. When Me and Joey drew you, we wanted to make you all into someone everyone would love. You’d make them laugh, cry, even get scared when you try to drown them in a flood of ink and suffering (I’m never letting this go, not over my dead body). Because what you do reminds them that despite it all, life can be fun.
Wipe that ink off your face bucko, you’re only halfway through the sentiment.
This is for Boris. In case you’re still wondering who’s a good boy, well, I’ve got the answer buddy. It was you all along.
Keep swinging that clarinet of yours like there’s no tomorrow, because you never know when someone’s gonna need some cheering up from a certain good boy. (It’s still you, you loveable pup) Don’t worry about us okay buddy? We’ll be fine. Just make sure Bendy doesn’t cause too much trouble alright?
Now for Alice, who knows, maybe you will end up as popular as Bendy some day (I said might Bendy, don’t get all huffy). In the meantime, keep those boys in line as much as you can. They need you more than they think they do. And remember to tell Boris to turn off the system after recording, no one likes hearing Wally singing “Dancin’ Queen” acapella.
And finally, we’d like to thank you all for bieng our crew. Thank you for the laughs, the pick-me-ups, the random dances, the naggy critics, even the times you tried to drown us in ink. But most importantly, thank you for bieng our legacy. You made our dreams come true, now go on and make everyone else’s do the same.
Hi guys! Since Beltane is right around the corner, I thought i’d share this cute orange cookie recipe, perfect for a spring treat 🌱✨🍊
This recipe makes about 2 dozen, depending on size of your cookies(:
What you’ll need:
~ 1 ¼ cups of butter, softened (about 2 ½ sticks)
~1 1/3 cups of white sugar
~3 cups of all purpose flour
~½ teaspoon of salt
~1 tablespoon of baking powder
~1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
~1 egg, beaten
~2 tablespoons of orange zest (thats about how much comes off one orange, depending on size and type; I use navel oranges most of the time, but it doesn’t really matter)
~The juice of one orange (this bit is optional, depending on how orange-y you want your cookies to turn out, you could also use a little lemon juice to help the flavor)
~½ cup of white chocolate chips
1) Preheat your oven to 350 degree F (I think thats about 175 degrees C but you may want to check me on that) Line your baking sheet with parchment paper or cooking/baking spray
2) Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and orange zest in a separate bowl
3) In a different, larger bowl cream the butter with medium speed (this bit can be done with a hand mixer which will probably make your life easier) and add the sugar in gradually. Once sugar is completely mixed in, add the vanilla and the egg, then begin to slowly add in the dry mixture from before.
4) Once dough is at desired consistency, gently fold in the chocolate chips
5) Drop bits of dough onto your baking sheet, about one inch apart from each other, flattening out the backs with a spoon. Bake for about 10-12 minutes or until lightly brown. allow to cool completely, cookies should be a bit crispy when done.