that cannot possibly be a tag anyone follows


i cannot believe this is happening in my town. please dont go anywhere alone at night. if you do, have a stun gun, pepper spray, anything. don’t leave your children unattended. if someone is following you, yell and scream and make it known you are possibly in danger. this is the second time in a month this happened at our wal-mart. please be aware and vigilant!

I need to say something

I have been a quiet observer for a long time now in this fandom, but since Liam’s interview really, honestly and completely rubbed me, as most of you too, the thoroughly wrong way I feel the need to try to gather my thoughts on the treatment of lgbt+ fandom, Larry and ‘larries’ by 1D and 1Dhq. Another reason why I am finally writing a post of my own is that I really feel the need to voice my opinions to my ‘brothers in arms’ (as I have considered many of you for a long time now) and to feel like I am talking to people who actually listen and hear. Talking and being listened to right now in this toxic fandom I am (to my utter despair) a part of is the only way to help myself and maybe even others. Reading your posts in desperate times always helped me. So, since we’ve been bullied I feel the need to embrace you all and to feel myself embraced by you. Talking to you this way feels like an embrace to me. This is also the reason why I am tagging a few of the ‘big’ blogs I have followed since my entering the fandom. I have no wish to promote myself or my blog, I post very rarely so please do not feel offended for being tagged. If anyone out there would like to talk though, feel free to talk to me.

So, here it goes.

1. I cannot in my wildest dreams possibly imagine why it was decided to ‘talk’ to the lgbt+ fandom in the way they did with this Liam interview. No matter who said those words, it WAS sanctioned by 1Dhq and it WAS published by a GAY magazine that not long ago praised Rainbow Direction for creating a safe space for lgbt+ 1D fans. When announced, Liam’s cover in the Attitude magazine really seemed like a step forward in accepting the lgbt+ fans. However, the actual interview did exactly the opposite – it belittled Rainbow Direction and it painted lgbt+ fans yet again as delusional, crazy, not real fans, obsessing over Larry – which altogether serves as an OPEN INVITE for those so called ‘antis’, who themselves obsess over Larry and ‘larries’, to continue BULLYING the weakest in this fandom, the ones who have long been de-voiced and have only recently begun to feel safe enough to show their rainbows. This is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING and there is NO REASON WHATSOEVER, NO JUSTIFICATION - including Louis’, Liam’s, Harry’s and Briana’s feelings, AND the unborn baby – to do this. Inviting and encouraging such bullying is a fucking crime and should be treated as crime. So, 1D, 1Dhq, Attitude magazine, Liam and every other person responsible for this: YOU SHOULD LOOK DEEPLY INTO YOURSELVES AND TRY TO GRASP WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
My heart goes out to all of you who are hurt by this. I honestly love you very much.

2. I think Harry knew what was coming. It was a bit strange to me this last week to see him DELIBERATELY asking for and dancing with rainbows EVERY SINGLE SHOW. HARRY KNEW, this is the only thing I AM ABSOLUTELY positive about regarding the boys’ opinions about it all. I love Harry very much.
I love Louis too, but I cannot talk about him right now. I will try not to forget his facial expression caught on camera while he was looking at Harry with that flag. It was an honest expression of pride and joy. But for now, I wish to refrain from talking about Louis anymore. 1Dhq did not succeed in silencing me about how utterly wrong their treatment of their fans is, but they have managed to make me not want to talk about Louis. He is about to become a father, they say, he is happy, they say, he is taken not by Harry, they say, and I respect that.
At Liam I am angry. Maybe it was not him, I don’t know. I hope he realizes the damage this interview has caused.

3. I find Rainbow Bondage Bear and Sugar Bear really confusing. I have loved those bears. The things I am certain about them is that: a) they are gay or gay friendly, b) they were repeatedly heavily associated with Harry and Louis with (the repetition of) Harry and Louis’ colors and the skateboard and banana props.
I honestly don’t think they were/are here to queer bait, but their role I cannot decipher. I cannot decipher their messages or how they are allowed to ‘talk’ in this environment.
IF - and I really think this is NOT the case - IF somebody is just having ‘fun’ with them and thus having ‘fun’ mocking the ‘larries’ (as it has been suggested) - it’s a crime and PLEASE STOP. The bears and all of this is really no joke to a lot of people.

4. I am aware this should not have been and not be about Larry but Larry WAS mentioned in the interview and I must tackle it. WHY THE HELL IS LARRY SO DANGEROUS? This is my line of thinking: Larry and the belief in the realness of Larry has been an extremely positive thing for a lot of closeted, insecure, bullied, afraid fans. Larry has over the years given hope and comfort to a lot of people. Now, if shipping ME with the worst person in the world, let’s say the DEVIL – and by shipping I mean it all, including explicit written and visual artwork of our sexual activities – made people feel happy, secure and hopeful I wouldn’t fucking mind if the whole damn world thought me and the devil are (possibly, maybe) in a loving gay relationship.
WHY IS LARRY SO DANGEROUS? Why was there a need to deny Larry when there was NO NEED to deny it this way? Why in a fucking GAY magazine? WHY? Almost as if denying Larry and bullying the lgbt+ fandom and the ‘larries’ in a gay magazine served as a great way to punish Harry. The one boy from that god damn money making machine who would not completely bend, who managed to dismantle his awfully degrading womanizing image and who has recently explicitly shown strong support for the lgbt+ community in general and lgbt+ fandom in particular. Dear Harry, just pack your bags and leave. Fuck ‘em all.  

So guys, thank you for listening. Even if nobody reads this, I feel connected to you by just writing it. I feel better now. Thank you, I love you!

Now that 2016 is finally and thankfully coming to an end, I thought I should thank all the people who at least managed to make some of it amazing, those who helped me, who took care of me, who made me smile and laugh and who made me realise that no matter how difficult life can get, it’s all worth it. This is NOT a follow forever. I did one last Christmas and last July, and I didn’t want to do another one again. If you’re not included it doesn’t in any way mean I don’t like you or your blog, but I tried to keep it limited to those I actually interacted with at some point this year. I also really want to apologise if I forget anyone - there are too many amazing people on here and even though I tried so hard to include everyone I could think of, sometimes it’s easy to forget someone, especially from the first few months of this year. If you think you should be here please do send me a message or something though. Please ignore that basic af edit but I didn’t have time to do anything better 😂

@gigibuffone - Jack!! When you came to talk to me just a little over 6 months ago it didn’t cross my mind you could end up being my best friend. Can you believe we never shut up for not even a single day since then? 😂 Thank you so much mate for all the times you listen to me rant and for being one of the best parts of my 2016. You are amazing in every sense of the word and I hope you know that, you cute doughnut bean ☺️❤️

I know most of you don’t use tumblr anymore but if you see this pasta squad aka anti-bleaching ❌: @swanvika @desciglio2 @fabiantasticschaer @mesut-and-tie @neymessigriziman @loriskariius21 @diesama5 @sampers; thank you all so much for everything. You have become some of the most important people in my life, I know I can be myself with you all without being judged. Your words help get me through hard times whilst no one could make me laugh as much ad you can. We also bond over our love for pasta, and there can never be a stronger bond 😂 I’ll always support you girls through everything and once again thank you. ❤️❤️

@satansfavouritegirl - Sometimes we go days or even entire weeks without talking (mostly because of my awful replying skills) but you will always be such a special friend to me. 🌟 Thank you Ela for being like a sister especially earlier on this year, always taking care of me during rough patches. 💕

@mia-san-fcbayern - Your kind words always helped me through difficult times and I assure you I hold them (and of course you too) very close to my heart. Lis, you are such a sweet and amazing person and you deserve all that’s good in the world. Thank you for all you’ve done for me 😚❤️

@kiararose40 - Fam!! Thanks for being an amazing friend and for listening to me rant all the time. I hope I always was/will be there for you too. You’re the best smol angry ninja friend I could have ever asked for.  💞

There are so so many people who made my 2016 worth it, and that’s really saying something cause 2016 was horrible, so another big thank you goes to the following people!! Whether you checked on me often or even sent me a sweet message just once, I really appreciate. I can assure you that one good word at the right time means more than anything, and everything would have been more difficult without all of you: @alamanyar @alessandro–florenzi @fearlesskiki @incredybala @joherrkimmich @lahmz @leupolz @mypinkisfloyding @neymvrjr @philip-lahmmm @riyadmahrz @robholding @thousands-of-splendid-suns @vitaeternum @zedtheartist  💘💘

Aaaand another shoutout goes to both more friends I made this year/in previous years and mutuals who although I never actually talked to/had a conversation with, we lowkey interact sometimes smjdksn and make me v happy when I see them on my dash. I wish y'all the best: @amantedelcalcio @alexisnchez @aussenrist15 @biggestmoraticablog @boringchelsea @brozukas @buyerns @bxsti @cormacmclggen @cristalski @dimitriipayet @draxlerr @durmerella @fcbayernmess @flashed-football-mind @footballbabesmakesmesmile @gerraaard @gigi-amoremio @gigibuffonforever @gloria13 @hungarynt @kroosmas @leobittencourt @lukaszpiszcat @malta-gozo-comino @margiolys19 @nachofernandez @nemozil @princephilipplahm @rafaeloangelo @ronaldeus @sergioislife @shootballx @sterndesuedens @teamraikkonen @thiagomaia @thomasmxller @welcome-to-a-nuclear-winter  💘💘

I’d also like to thank @iwriteyourfanfiction for writing me the sweetest fic about Mats!! I still have no idea who you are but you deserve the world 😘💕

And last but not least, a big thank you goes to all those who wished me a happy birthday yesterday!! I cannot tag all of you here but know you made my day special, and I appreciate every single one of them 💖

And that wraps it up, and I do truly hope I didn’t forget anyone. This also includes any cute anons I’ve received this year - I do wish I could tag you here to thank you but of course that’s not possible, but if you see this know I appreciate 💖 Thank you so much for everything!! 2016 would have been wayyyy more horrible without you all. Of course, even if you’re not included here, I still want to thank ALL of my followers and mutuals. You’re all fantastic ✨ I would like to wish you all a wonderful 2017 from the bottom of my heart, because you deserve nothing less. ❤️