You know one thing I don’t think I’ll ever understand is the characterization of Krem as the ‘mature’ one of the Chargers or the straight man for Iron Bull’s jokes all the time. I don’t mean people showing him as serious at times either or responsible, cause he is, but like I see him being portrayed so much as a lot more serious and tired of jokes than he actually seems in game. This is a kid who in our second encounter with him not only gives Iron Bull lip but follows up with asking about caskets of alcohol that they opened with axes. Based on how he said it to, it doesn’t sound like he just let people do it but was right there with them going: you know the best way to break this big container of alcohol open? Weapons!!
Then when you meet him with the other Chargers again he’s teasing Bull about running around shirtless and referring to Bull’s 'pillowy man bosoms.’ In the first part of that exchange it actually sounds a bit like Bull is exasperated one with 'it’s a harness, Krem’. How many times has Krem teased Bull about that? Probably a lot.
Then before Demands of the Qun where he’s sparring with Bull, you walk in on him telling Bull 'you’ve still got plenty of ass Chief’ after Bull says he’s working his ass off to show Krem a move. This is followed by Krem mentioning how he always wanted to see one of the dreadnaughts in action. From his tone it sounds like he can tell Bull is really on edge with this and he’s trying somehow to lighten the mood. Cause his tone isn’t aggressive or stoic, it sounds like he’s saying something to try and ease the tension he knows is there. And while Krem isn’t Bull level reading people he can still do it. He knows Bull isn’t feeling great about this.
Follow this by being on the storm coast itself and even right before a fight he still sarcastically refers to Bull as 'mother’ and then assures him they’ll be okay.
And if you save the Chargers back at skyhold, again you have his interaction with Bull where he mentions Bull breaking out Chasind Sack Mead for the Chargers. And again his tone is just light and sounds like he’s trying to point out a fun thing Bull is doing with them. From Bulls reaction I wonder if that mead isn’t super strong and that’s why he practically face palms with Krem mentioning it to the inquisitor because the night is going to be chaotic. Or if it’d just like Bull is frustrated with everything (because honestly Bull being like 'you don’t say that in front of the inquisitor ’ seemed less like Bull, whose usually very open with everything and seemed to come more from frustration about all that had happened beginning.) And then you have Krem changing his tone again instantly because he can read people and then Bull kinda sighing and smiling saying he’s doing fine.
Then we get to the reasons I say Krem can read people and this is based on what he says and what Bull says about him. One is Krem says after everything happens that Bull is down about what happened with his people, but hasn’t said anything but the Chargers can tell. If Bull isn’t talking about it and trying to avoid it (you even get disapproval for apologizing to Bull about coming between him and his people ) then I’m guessing it really is something that he’s trying not to show. So for Krem (and all the Chargers here actually) to know and be able to read that when Bull is trying not to let anyone know I thinks it’s safe to say they can read people and Bull pretty well.
It’s also based on what Bull says to you about Krem and why he’s such a good second. One of the reasons being that Bull says Krem is someone the others can talk to when BULL is being a to much of a hardass. I really don’t think someone whose as serious or just downright frustrated with any jokes like I’ve seen him portrayed a lot as being, could do that. I’ve been in situations where you have to work as a mediator of sorts and defuse the situation. Best way to do that after listening to someone and just letting them talk and being there for them? Well timed humor. Especially dry humor. Which Krem seems to excel at. If you can get someone to laugh or even just smile it does help. So for him to do what he does, for Bull to recognize the talent he has in this area and the other chargers to actually come to him , it doesn’t make sense to me when I just see him as always the serious one.
Yes he says how he’s been putting up with Bulls jokes since Bull rescued him and offered him a job. And he absolutely groans when Bull makes his Krem Brulee joke.
But him groaning about that joke also comes after we see his interactions with Maryden that include him explaining why he sat on the back of a chair to “get a better look at your…songs. ” that is a dork move if I’ve ever seen one and it was funny and cute. You then have him telling her the Chargers have their own song and offering to sing it. We’ve all heard that song. That is not a stoic song or something you generally sing on a date if you don’t have the humor to pull it off.
And the biggest one for me, Krem asking the inquisitor to distract Bull so they can get his birthday present ready. Watching the Chargers get that ready to it’s a fun thing they’re doing and Krem gives Rocky a look for drinking, but five seconds later let’s him blow something up so they can get the dragon skull in the room. And they set this up as a surprise. Not even just a gift. He’s beaming when he tells Bull surprise! Happy Birthday Chief.
Plus the stories he tells you about the Chargers adventures! He sounds like he’s having fun telling those and even makes a point to make a joke about squirrels being the worst part of one if their jobs!
Krem is a fun character with fun interactions. He can absolutely be serious and somber and he knows how to fight and make sure everyone is okay and follows a plan. But he can also be light hearted and just plain funny. I think sometimes maybe because his humor is so dry in parts he can be read as more serious than he is, but looking at the tone and interactions with others I don’t think he’s as serious/exasperated with jokes or would be the constant straight man for Bulls jokes that I’ve seen a lot of in fics and stuff.
This isn’t about any fic or anything in particular and I don’t want to tell anyone how to write his humor. This is just an observation of a trend I’ve noticed in s lot of places and kinda just wanted to ramble about why I think Krem actually has more of a sense of humor than he’s often shown with.
DAI How would the companions and advisors react to the inquisitor getting a mabari? (I was heartbroken there were none in the game.)
(I made it a puppy– it couldn’t be helped.)
Cassandra: After all her travels in Ferelden on her duties as a Seeker, Cassandra understands what an honor it is to have a mabari bond. The fact that the Inquisitor was deserving of one only confirms her opinion of them. And while she will never let a soul know she thinks they are the cutest thing she’s ever seen, and indulges in ruffling and the occasional snuggle when no one is looking.
Solas: Loyalty is an admirable element in any creature, and just because it comes from a dog is no reason to disdain it. Solas finds the mabari a noble creature, and approves of their choice of companion. There is perhaps less admiration if he finds them teething on one of his brushes, but he’s always gentle when he places them outside the rotunda again.
Varric: The first thing he wants to do is teach them diamondback– many an evening was spent playing with Hawke’s Mabari and there are good memories. But the puppy is far more interested in his manuscripts and boots and all other chewable things. The dwarf might even have been angry– but no one had puppy eyes quite like a puppy, and so instead he always ends up petting them and returning them to the Inquisitors quarters with empty threats to write them as a cat in his next book.
Sera: Beneath every other title or description that Sera might have, she is Ferelden at heart. And that means she immiediately falls in love with the mabari. Her respect for the Inquisitor is completely affirmed, and she tries to recruit the puppy to mayhem. If they are too young yet she finds them a red bandanna and declares her an honorary Jenny.
Blackwall: He first finds the puppy rolling around in the sawdust and wood shavings in the barn, and despite the fact that he stays there for isolation the warrior can’t help but grin. A sturdy beam is sacrificed as a tug toy, and pleasant afternoon routine is established. The dog is loyal, always abandoning the toy if the inquisitor comes by looking, and Blackwall respects both the puppy and inquisitor all the more for it.
Vivienne: She tries to avoid it. Dogs-particularly war dogs- are prone to destruction and mess, which are not things she is fond of. But the puppy is adorable and spends so long trying to struggle up the steps to investigate her that she doesn’t have the heart to banish them. If in time the Inquisitor notices that the puppy vanishes a few evenings a week, only to come back with the occasional jeweled collar and suspiciously steak colored stains on their muzzle they are smart enough not to comment.
Iron Bull: He thinks its adorable, and there is no getting around it. The mabari becomes an official member of the Chargers when they are not with the Inquisitor. All the Chargers dote on them but Bull is undoubtably the worst. As the puppy grows He helps train dog and master, and relishes in the occasional face kisses this brings.
Dorian: The Mabari were once a Tevinter breed, and before Dorian met the puppy he might have said that the Ferelden’s got the raw side of the deal. But the immediate intelligence is made clear, and that more than anything else is what opens his mind to them. If the puppy follows the Inquisitor in the library Dorian will sacrifice his lap for snuggles and and allow the puppy to clamber over his chair to look out the window.
Lelianna: The puppy reminds her immediately of Dog, and when the Inquisitor brings them back from wherever they came from the spymaster drops all her masks and swoops down to cuddle the dog to her chest. They are fast friends, and Lelianna immediately offers to find the best trainers and materials that the Inquisitor needs, all the while planning on introducing the mabari to Schmupples the 2nd.
Josephine: Apart from the puppy’s absolute adorable appearance- so fluffy!- Josephine can absolutely see the political advantages of it. Suddenly every teryn and Arl in Ferelden will want to meet the Inquisitor and their loyal mabari, and that can only make their job easier. Also the puppy sometimes falls asleep with their head on her feet, and it is the cutest thing ever.
Cullen: Someone tells him that the Inquisitor has bonded with a Mabari, and his entire world changes. The clouds part, the sun shines through, and the commander of the inquisitions forces turns into a child eager for Wintersend. He is a fount of information for the Inquisitor, and at last they ask him to watch the puppy when they have to be called away. It is one of the happiest days of his lives, and he immediately finds a basket and fills it with soft flannels and pillows as a bed. Of course the puppy spends most of their time in his lap, curling up with him in his bed at night. And the commander knows in his heart that the dog is not his- is not ultimately loyal to him and he does not have it’s heart- but the presence of the puppy is a balm nonetheless.
Tama’s Tea Shop is a cute little place. Warm colors, nice smells, welcoming staff. To the average customer, it looks as sweet as their cinnamon-rose blend. But under the soft surface is a finely-tuned machine run with military efficiency.
At six every morning, the Iron Bull opens the blinds, dusts everything, and gets ready for the day. At six-fifteen, Tama comes in and dusts everything again, then brews them a pot of something sweet. (Bull likes sweet, floral teas best, even if she doesn’t.)
Krem works there too, and opens a couple days a week so Bull can have a day off. Tama never takes a day off except for Qun holidays, on which the shop is closed.
Cassandra is a regular. She loves the quiet atmosphere and how none of her relatives or colleagues would think to look for her here. Common is Tama’s seventh language– they read racy romance novels aloud to each other so Tama can practice speaking it.
Bull tells terrible puns. His favorite is “tea you later” but he’s also fond of “our prices aren’t too steep” and telling little kids that his favorite dinosaur is a tea-rex.
Tama rejected the idea of a shop cat– it would shed everywhere and some customers might be allergic. They have an iguana instead, in a large tank that takes up the entire wall behind the register. His name is Toad.
Cassandra brings Dorian to the shop, on Tama’s instruction. She wants to learn ancient Tevene and Cassandra can’t think of anyone else who might know the language. He takes his payment in cups of tea, because he can’t possibly recreate Tama’s perfection. He insists on buying the blends he takes home, but this doesn’t stop him from flirting outrageously for a discount. It works on Bull, but not Tama.
He complains about it once. Tama raises her eyebrows at him and says, with the solemnity of a person choosing the perfect words in their seventh language, “that is because Ashkaari is a thirsty bitch.”
Cole doesn’t work there, but sometimes he wanders in and hands people blends that they’ve never tried before, but are somehow perfect. Varric wants to write a book about Tama’s life but she keeps telling him conflicting stories. He’s never been this frustrated, or this in love. Josephine comes by three times a week buys one of their largest containers of tea– as long as it’s decaf. Tama worries. Vivienne comes in every Monday evening to buy seven bags of dark breakfast tea. No one can convince her to buy larger quantities or different blends. Tama worries about her too.
Sera thinks that all tea is basically the same, and she’ll just buy whatever’s on clearance. Sometimes Tama puts a single box of her special blend on the clearance table right before Sera comes in. Bull doesn’t know how she can always tell, but Tama seems to know the secrets of Sera’s schedule. Sometimes she gives Sera one of the cookies Sten brought over earlier as well.
Sten’s bakery is next door. They trade tea and cookies often, though Tama thought he was a little odd at first. But if her Askaari like the sweet little cookies he makes, then that’s all right. He can stay. He stays open too late though– Tama closes her doors at four, when everyone who’s sensible has done ther shopping. She doesn’t sell tea to people who aren’t sensible. (Except for Dorian, but he’s a special case.)
Reacting to nobles talking shit about the wuizzy at halamshiral?
Cassandra: The first time she hears the Orlesians whispering behind their fans about the Inquisitor she is, just for a moment, no longer in Halamshiral. She is standing behind a curtain in Nevarra City, suddenly nine years old again and listening to the nobles talk about how she is too masculine and too blocky and how they don’t understand why Markus let the children of traitors live. And she wants to walk up to the Orlesians and shake them until their teeth rattle in their heads. Don’t they understand what is at stake? Don’t they see that the inquisitor is their only hope to stop Corypheus from destroying everything? She manages to restrain herself simply to glares and resolves to talk to Lelianna about the political advantages of challanging foppish lords to duels.
Solas: It would be a lie to say that he was not thrilled to be back amongst the denizens of court- for all that Halamshiral and its ‘nobles’ lacked even the shadow of Arlathan’s glory- and the moment he hears the quite (or not so quiet) whisperings he is so tempted to speak. A thousand years of practice amongst far more dangerous opponents than them has sharpened his tongue to a lethal lash, but he restrains himself. They would not receive such castigations well from a ‘rabbit’, and there are in Orlais with a greater purpose in mind. Still he takes delight in imagining the looks on their faces if he really did cut them off at the knees and resolves to speak with Josephine later on helping pen political replies to certain Orlesians.
Varric: He’s got a gaggle of admirers within moments of arriving, but even through their exciting murmurs he still hears the muttering. He is nowhere near as close to the Inquisitor as he was to Hawke, but he does remember how his friend was often greeted the same way in Hightown before becoming in champion. It annoys him- particularly if the Inquisitor is not human- and within moments he is spinning incredible stories of the Inquisitors prowess either in battle or in diplomatic affairs. Its hyperbole, of course, but halfway through the night the same nobles who were disdaining the Inquisitor are now shooting them anxious glances and the story teller considers his work well done.
Sera: One could argue that bringing Sera to Halamshiral is not the most politically savvy decision, but once she gets there the fireworks are more than worth it. Before the nobles who are smearing the Inquisitor have a chance to finish their conversation the Red Jenny is already plotting. Its not hard to recruit a few of the elven servants who are not bleeding out in the kitchen gardens, and halfway through the night a very select group of nobles have ben pranked or otherwise inconveinenced enough that their time for gossip has been traded in for private chances to scrub custard of off delicate masks.
Vivienne: Oh she lives for this. THe Grand Enchanter has been in Skyhold for too long, and there is nothing like verbal sparring to keep ones wits sharp. By the time she is finished the nobles in question are looking rather like they wish the floor would swallow them, and the rest of the masquerade’s guests are abuzz over how the inquisitor managed to tempt Madame de Fer to their cause. All in all a very pleasant evening.
Iron Bull: The temptation is there, just for a brief moment, to pick the nobles in question up by the back of the neks and shake them like a terrior with a rat. But that would be unsatisfying as well as unhelpful, so instead he turns Ben-Hassrath trained eyes onto them. Masks might hide facial expressions but body langauge is harder to conceal, and the champaign which flows like water is not hlping in the slightest. By the end of the evening he has a stack of reports to write up for Lelianna. And if- in the chaos of whatever ended up happening with Florianne- one of the worst offenders ended up being knocked into a table holding wine, well. The tide rises, the nobles fall.
Dorian: And to think he was starting to feel homesick. Dorian has heard most of his life- from Felix and from persons he met on his own travels- that there was no court more cunning than Orlais, but in truth he’s been to mid week soirees in Minrathous that were more dangerous than this. And that was before the blood magic. But when the gossip begins he finds his enjoyment abruptly severed. They are here for a noble purpose, and Andraste strike him down if he was going to allow them to jeopardize them. A glass of wine held in an idle grip- and a whispered conference with a certain Qunari that he is quite fond of- nets him the information he needs to be both invited into their inner circle and to have more than one of them paling behind their masks as the Tevinter pariah uses 'blood magic’ to divine their darkest secrets.
Blackwall: He used to crave this, and that alone is enough to make him ill. If he were not so afraid that someone here might recognie him as Thom Rainier- or worse may have known the real Gordon Blackwall- he would have played their game against them enough to have them speechless for a year. As it is he’s stuck on one of the balconies, trying to head off eager nobles who want to ask about the Hero of Ferelden and trying to think of the best way to accidently throw a noble or three into the ornamental lake.
Cole: “Whispers, rumors, fears hidden deep and covered with fake cheer. Make it foolish and it cant hurt you, say something to hide knowing nothing. But the mask is the lie and the lie is on their face, and not knowing makes the fear deeper.”
hi. I'm a caring person who is good at her job and wears a bombass outfit. I've made you laugh on several occasions, and giggle once, very enthusiastically. I am best friends with your girl, Leliana, and you love that, because you love her, and because you love me, and you get very emotional about your friends having friends. We haven't had the chance to go too in-depth yet, mostly because you refuse to advance the plot, but whenever the advisers talk, I'm the one you agree with. Also, this is shallow, but you've seen pictures of my voice actor, and boy, oh boy, are you into that.
I'm an egg with an eight pack, and you're increasingly into that. I'm smart as hell and I love when you ask me questions and show curiosity about the world, which is great because you literally can't stop asking questions to everyone you meet, and I'm the only one who respects that. I flirt better than you expected, and god do you love flirting. Put me in that sexy armor again and come ask me questions about the worldbuilding.
Me, a humble player:
gosh how do I chose between these two respectable romances??
I'm fifty and mean
I literally just stole Cullen's helmet and farted in it
Me, a humble player with shitty, shitty taste in shitty, shitty people, sweating very nervously as the Heart Wants What It Wants: