Question 1: do you have any pets? Yes, I do! I have two dogs (French bassets): Binq et Julie.
Question 2: name three things that are physically close to you. My laptop, my history book and a cup of hot chocolate. Question 3: what’s the weather like right now? It’s quite sunny at the moment, actually, which is quite strange for this country.
Question 4: do you drive? If so, have you crashed? I am actually following driving lessons. I’ve had quite a few already. No, I have not crashed.
Question 5: what time did you wake up this morning? I woke up around 9 AM.
Question 6: when was the last time you showered? This morning!
Question 7: what was the last movie that you saw? A cinderella story: once upon a song, featuring Lucy Hale.
Question 8: what does you last text message say? “That’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” Haha, nobody understands this message without the context.
Question 9: what is your ringtone? I think it’s Love Will Remember by Selena Gomez.
Question 10: have you ever been to a different country? Yes, I’ve been to loads of places! I’ve visited France quite some times, Belgium as well, England, Wales, Scotland and the United States.
Question 11: do you like sushi? I’ve never actually tried sushi. Yes, I know, weird, huh? I’m not sure if I dare to try it, because it looks disgusting. Yet I’ve heard so many people say that it’s delicious, so… I don’t know.
Question 12: where do you buy your groceries? At the local supermarket, but usually my mom buys the groceries, because I’m at school half the time and the other half I’m either sleeping, doing homework, working or writing.
Question 13: have you ever taken any medication to help you fall asleep faster? No and I don’t intend to.
Question 14: how many siblings do you have? I have one, my brother Bart.
Question 15: do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? I have a laptop.
Question 16: how old will you be turning on your next birthday? I will be turning 18, woah!
Question 17: do you wear contacts or glasses? Both actually.
Question 18: do you colour your hair? I’ve dip-dyed my hair twice.
Question 19: tell me something you are planning to do today. I’m planning to work on school, study and maybe go shopping?
Question 20: when was the last time you cried? Yesterday, when I was listening to a song that touched me. Question 21: what is your perfect pizza topping? I don’t know? Cheese?
Question 22: which do you prefer, hamburger or cheeseburger? Who cares, a burger is a burger, I like both, ha.
Question 23: have you ever had an all-nighter? Nope.
Question 24: what is your eye colour? My eyes are brown.
Question 25: can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? Yes and I prefer Coca Cola.
compulsory heterosexuality as i experienced it; as inspired by @clextra
reading that post inspired me to get my story out there as well; im not a popular blog but I think it will be very cleansing to get it into writing, this is just my story:
the same old pick a crush, any crush: four examples of this have occurred, one per year since sixth grade (ill codename them all shitty dude names to fuck with my friends who follow my blog). Sixth grade was someone we’ll codename Dave. On the first day of school I looked around the room I was in and noticed him singing along with a song that was playing from my teacher’s speakers. I remember taking a moment to look at him, almost studying his face, recognizing that it was attractive, and I remember VIVIDLY saying in my head “he’s cute and he is going to be my crush”. And for the next year when my friends asked me who I liked, as all sixth grade girls did, I would say it was Dave.
In seventh grade I was getting my nails done with my best friend and she was telling me about how she used to like this boy who we’ll name Jeff. Jeff was in my gym class, and the next time I saw him I had the same thought that occurred with Dave… I needed to like someone and Jeff wasn’t a bad option, therefore I selected him.
Eighth grade was confusing; I genuinely did like a boy who we’ll codename Brian. He was my best friend in eighth grade, he was nice to me, he spoke to me a lot, we complimented each other, and we had a lot of inside jokes. I remember being so curious about him and my feelings for him in general because they were very new feelings, as I had never necessarily had feelings for anyone before that were genuine and worth my time. On Halloween, I was at my friend’s small party and I sent a text to one of my friends there; they were talking about boys and they teased me about Dave, so I texted her to tell her I didn’t like him anymore. I wasn’t expecting her to scream “WHAT”, proceed to chase me around the house until all my friends caught me in a corner and demanded to know who the new boy is. I racked my brain; usually I pick my crushes when I have my options in front of me, so I told them I liked Brian. I ended up looking at him differently, not anymore as a friend but as someone I had feelings for even though they were fake. As I got closer to him we created an amazing friendship and I ended up confusing them with actual feelings.
That is an important point to make. I finally figured out the trick to liking boys; you had to be friends with them and then those friendly feelings turn to real feelings. That totally untrue realization fucked up my entire ninth grade.
Walking into ninth grade after getting over Brian and officially crushless, I looked around my P.E. class after a long first day and noticed a very attractive boy sitting against the wall. Now that puberty has done its job on him as it has on most people, he had muscles and was quite tall which I probably read somewhere is the key to attractiveness in males. I took an admiration in him and remember thinking the usual; “HE IS ATTRACTIVE AND HE WILL BE YOUR CRUSH”. And he was for a while. At this point I was about 13.
Blindness to the Gay: August 2014 - November 2014: I never had a backup het option, as I was antisocial and obviously wasn’t quite interested (to this day i’ve never been in a relationship with a boy, let’s keep it that way). The summer before ninth grade I binged the fuck out of pretty little liars. I was finally growing out of my serious tomboy phase, and part of that phase was never liking any of the middle-school girl typical TV shows driven by boring hets and shitty plots which is what I thought PLL was, but going into highschool I decided to try it simply out of boredom and curiousity.
I’m kidding. At the TIME that’s what I thought, but there was another, more gay reason that I started PLL.
Earlier that year I was at my friends house and we watched Another Cinderella Story with Lucy Hale (UNDERAPPRECIATED BY THE FUCKING WAY) and I was INTO it. I didn’t know why I was so into it, I was mesmerized by Lucy Hale’s character and I felt particularly bad for her character. When I started PLL I was well aware that she was one of the leads and THAT is the real reason I started it. Exhibit A of being Blind to the Gay.
I run cross country, and my freshman year was my first season. A couple weeks into the season was when I had a mini-questioning phase. In my head, I associate Pretty Little Liars with my freshman XC season simply because it was always on my mind when running to distract me from the fucking pain running is… I was on a run one day while thinking about pretty little liars and how pretty Emily is, and how cute Emison would be. It was kind of on these runs where I would imagine what I would be like if I was Emily, who was easily my favorite character behind Aria (gay reasons). It was inevitable that the question would eventually pop into my head; but are you gay?
Brian would pop into my head. I would tell myself how genuine my feelings were for him and how I liked that new boy from P.E., and how I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of dating or kissing women. I wasn’t in a state of denial, I was just looking at what at that point were facts; I’d never liked a girl before. COMPLETELY blind to the fact that I was practically drooling at the ladies on PLL and other shows ive noticed i’d taken admiration for.
I started to watch coming out videos in my own spare time out of interest. I admired all these different stories and opened up my heart to the LGBT community and learned that there are nasty places in the world, even our country, regarding LGBT people and my town was not one of those places. I realized it is, for the most part, okay to be gay in my town. In my head, it was okay to be gay. This was essential to learn right before I entered the most confusing months of my life.
Bisexual: As XC season ended, it was time to make the transition into winter sports. Being the active skier I was, I joined my school’s ski team as planned in early November to do workouts and play soccer before the snow came for tryouts. I somehow managed to go from Definitely Straight to I Must Rethink Gay in 2 weeks when I met my team captain who we will call Phoebe. She was pretty, had energy, was small, funny, and loved to ski. Although there was never anything too special about her or that happened between us in particular, I took such an admiration to her that I realized on Thanksgiving Day, 2014, that this was a romantic feeling. An annual 5 mile race is held every thanksgiving and I participated. I saw her while running and my already hammering heart started to elevate pace, and I knew right there that that was something that had never happened for a boy before. Although there is nothing on this planet I hate more than running, I get most of my deep thinking done while doing it, and for the rest of the 40 minutes or so of the race I thought hard about what had just happened and why maybe I needed to reconsider what I would think about often during XC.
One month after thanksgiving, it was about time I spread the news; I was Bisexual and based off my sudden and obvious feelings for this girl I could confirm it. I knew my attraction to her was so much more different than it was for the boy from P.E. and all the other boys i’ve liked but I was certain that I was capable of loving both genders. It’s a popular desire to find a label for yourself early in questioning phases, therefore I jumped to the conclusion way too early. I told my friend Caroline and she was happy for me; I think all my friends in that group in particular had assumed some kind of girl-loving potential was inside of me at that point, so she wasn’t surprised. I continued to like Phoebe a lot, but it only confused me more because it blurred up all my past feelings for boys. It cleared up all my past denials and blindnesses I had to The Gay and slowly made me doubt bisexuality even more.
the What The Actual Fuck phase: Did I like men. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know how to determine if I liked Phoebe for real, after all she was 4 years older than me. I couldn’t tell. I’d determined that I liked girls based off of my common sense not actual experience; I connected the dots before I knew for a fact simply because being gay would make so much sense. I got flashbacks to Brian and how genuine I thought my feelings were for him, but I remembered how I told myself specifically to like him as I did with every one of the others. Phoebe “snuck up on me” as I would tell myself while questioning, meaning I never made myself like her. All the differences between my feelings for guys made me realize the only way to determine my sexuality was to look upon celebrities.
Now if anyone is genuinely questioning their sexuality I strongly recommend this technique. Make a list, in order, of all the celebrities you find attractive, in order. My list wasn’t that long, but I noticed that it was all females. After determining I liked girls I noticed more and more females catching my eye, I decided to list all the newfound celeb crushes to see how many girls I had on it and how many men.
I had a list of 12 women. 0 men. The True Gay within me was realized.
Shortly after deciding that I was gay and officially liking a second girl, I joined tumblr to deal with my newfound obsession with Fifth Harmony and only began seeing my behavior becoming gayer and gayer with every new interest I had. That was about a year ago, and since then I’ve come further with myself then I thought was possible. Not only that but I find it hard to believe I ever thought I was straight at all… I literally think of being gay as an extracurricular activity because of how much time I waste on girls in general. I’ve come out to ½ parents, practically all my friends, and it’s even gotten around school a bit. I’m almost 16, which is also odd to think about because of how much I figured out when I was so young. There’s a lot more to all of these stories but someone who has been in the same boat can relate that it’s impossible to filter every thought and factor that influences your sexuality because it was not easy to figure out. My entire questioning phase I consider to be from August to April the following year and every day was stressful and sanity consuming. But I figured it out pretty good and I’m grateful for that every day. Thank you for the inspiration @clextra