Full Confession:

I struggle with depression and anxiety daily. Lately, it’s been worse than ever. I try to immerse myself in the games to keep my mind off things. I try to tell myself that I need to hold on because that’s what Lara would do.

I look back throughout my life and I can’t remember a moment without Lara. My Dad brought home a Playstation when I was 3. I remember seeing a girl on TV and asking who she was, and saying she was pretty.

That was when I became hooked.

As a small child, she helped me through school and my mother’s alcoholism. She helped me through my parent’s breakup. My Grandfather’s cancer and death. She made me want to live, to learn, to better myself.

Not long before my Grandad passed away, he bought me the Tomb Raider magazine that only ran a short time in UK. I think I still have the poster somewhere, covered in love heart stickers. He encouraged my love for Lara because he knew she was a positive influence, something I desperately needed in my life.

When I started self harming at age 11, I’d beat myself up afterwards, because Lara wouldn’t have done that. Again, I turned to the games instead of hurting myself.

As I got older and saw different psychiatrists, and was put on various antidepressants, one psychiatric nurse told me that living through Lara and “being her” to be confident was a good idea, but to maybe let her go when I could cope on my own. Obviously, I never took the latter part of her advice.

Lara helped me through the bullying I faced as a teenager. Through more fights with my mother. Eventually my mother and I bonded because of Lara when she started helping me with costumes.

I’ve made some of my dearest friends because of Lara, back in the day on various forums. I’ve travelled to meet two of them.

I have her name tattooed on me to remind me to be strong.

Even now, when I feel like everything is going wrong, when I think about suicide daily, I look to Lara for inspiration, for strength.

Never underestimate the impact a game can have on someone’s life. In my case, if it weren’t for a game, I wouldn’t be here.

So, first of all, I am very much aware I am not a goot artist, I have a shaky hand and it’s hard to draw with it, secondly, I don’t know what Singe’s favourite colour is and thirdly, I don’t have money for Copics so I use knock offs and I don’t have a white pen…so… ( ._.)

To start off, I’d really like to say thank you to @therealjacksepticeye and @wiishu because the videos they make, both together and separately just always make me smile, 

I always look forward to everything you two upload, because your videos have kept me afloat from some really tough times, recently, I’ve been going through really horrible sickness and it keeps me up all night for the past few months, it affecting my diet, my personality and my health and there’s some personal matters to match it that always make me feel like I’m not wanted or not good enough. To top it all off with a cherry my social life is slowly decreasing because I’m getting more and more housebound due to this sickness. I’m trying to pull myself out from some…thoughts that keep arising and they are getting louder each time I let my guard down, it’s getting really hard but your videos just always manage to make me forget them. I can always turn to you two and your communities for both laughter and help. ^-^ If I go a bit deaf from Jack then I always watch Wiishu’s really aesthetically pleasing vlogs and if I want a welcoming high five then I watch Jack’s amazing gaming (I still miss NITW), you two just balance my emotions out, and for that I’m so grateful, though I don’t really know if you’ll read this but that’s okay! I just needed to get it off my chest!

Thank you! <3

YouTube is so good and I can’t believe it’s free??? Like who would believe that you can get unlimited music, videos of people talking and being chill with their viewers, instructions on improve your daily life, helpful advice for pretty much every situation, just everything?? I feel honestly blessed we live in a time when we have this magical website at our fingertips.

I wasn’t looking of anything when I met you. If anything I was over the thought of falling for someone. I had finally gotten over someone and the thought of being flooded with emotions each day again was exhausting.

But we practically stumbled on top of one another. Our paths could have crossed, but instead they collided. And the night we met was like coming up for air after drowning in my own tears. You made me laugh, and you told me stories about your life and for that night I was just happy to be me. It was an odd feeling, to be so happy and free.

Things didn’t work out, and maybe it was for the best. This way you can always be the guy that never hurt me, the one that let me listen and laugh for a night. And I am grateful for you and the part you played in realising I deserved better than those I had met before you.

—  To the one that came out of no where, but was exactly what I needed.

Hey @therealjacksepticeye hope your day is going well.
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I wanted to say you’re an amazing person and that no matter how many subscribers you have or what age you have…
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you still feel grateful of what you have in the present
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you smile at what happened in the past
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And you come up with awesome ideas for the future
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I would continue but I’ll save it for when I meet you in person someday
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Thank you and Happy 27th Birthday Sean
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Sincerely
Sofia from Argentina

I want to take a moment to thank you all from the bottom of my heart! ❤️❤️ It’s almost strange to imagine that over 8K people would be interested in sticking around, but it really means so much to me. I hope to continue to bring you all more art and a glimpse into my somewhat disorganized art endeavors lol 😆(I was trying something out with this post, I hope you guys enjoy it!  I’ve never really animated before haha)