thanks that you think my 13 year old self is good enough to be your friend

#OMG Shocked Emoji You Like Jake?!

Originally posted by hisbanshee

Fandom: Brooklyn Nine Nine

Pairing: Jake (my precious bby) x Reader

Warning: Really brief mention of sexual stuffs 

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/Request: Requested by anon:  Could I have a Brooklyn Nine Nine( imagine or reader insert oneshot thing, your choice) where you grew up with Jake and Gina and you’ve had a crush on Jake ever since you were little and one day, he admits he has feelings for you too? Thanks xxx

Note: Look how much I wrote?! I claim Jake as my muse, he is inspiring, I love him, I want him to marry me…

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anonymous asked:

Do. Them. All.


1. what is your sexuality? 

2. what gender do you identify as? 

Cis lady

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? 

It has been a long journey, that started with me thinking I was bisexual (but picky!) in highschool to me thinking I was pansexual (but homoromantic!) in college to me watching the “Battle of Times Square” scene in Ghostbusters last year and realizing I will never actually be attracted to a man when I have seen the one true light of lesbianism.

Originally posted by random-lezbean

Gender-wise, I did some soul-searching in college when a lot of my friends finally felt safe enough to transition, and other than an unhealthy obsession with beard-growing, I’m good out here as a chick. 👌✨

4. do you have any preferences? 

Girls who look like they could kill me with their bare hands, if they wanted to, but really just want to gently comb their fingers through my hair.

5. share a positive memory about coming out! 

I don’t really have any. I don’t really “come out” to straight people anymore because the one time I did, the friend I told immediately asked if I was attracted to/going to hit on her.

6. how do you feel about pride month? 

We should all be given the whole month off paid and trans/genderqueer/NB people should get an additional $1000 cash. 

(I like it.)

7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events? 

I get a cold or something happens every June where I don’t feel up to going to Pride, but like HOPEFULLY THIS YEAR? (Baby’s first Pride at 25 is gonna be WEIRD. Someone hold my hand.)💦

8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? 


9. do you feel pride in who you are? 

Yeah, I really like who I am and I’m proud of what I had to go through to get here. I like that things feel right in my life, for once.

10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? 

Looking back, Karolina Dean and Xavin from Runaways were some of the first gays to really have an impact on my life. When Xavin starts IDing as female it like… struck a chord with me about their relationship. I was just like, “yeah that feels right.”

Hannah Hart was a BIG DEAL for me and meeting her was so nice. It’s so great to see an openly lesbian woman being real and kind and succeeding. Watching her evolve and grow over time has been amazing. Also, that bod now, like omg Harto-san, you have become your true self and that self is making me BLUSH.

Originally posted by lchyeahyeah

Rebecca Sugar is weirdly important to me, being in the animation industry, myself. Like… it’s so good, seeing her make a show about girls loving other girls after BEING PERSONALLY TOLD that gay content was inappropriate for children while I was in school. Noelle Stevenson and the crew on Lumberjanes are similar, because you get told you can’t make queer content for kids by the old guard. That it won’t sell, that it CAN’T sell in certain markets and that kids won’t get it. All I can think of is that HAD I known at 7 that girls can like girls maybe I would’ve asked Emma out after class and my life would be different. I don’t want that to keep happening to little girls and I’m so glad that people like Rebecca and Noelle exist.

@yamino and @summerlightning are like… life goals and wife goals. I’ve been following them for years and sometimes I just think how I’d want like EXACTLY their lives. Make gay webcomics with my pretty wife. That’s all I want to do. (Hey, read their comic @sisterclaire​, it’s gay af, you’ll love it.)

Hayley Kiyoko is a biracial sapphic queen and I love her and she is so nice and genuine and she gives GREAT HUGS. She sings songs about girls who like girls and they’re GOOD SONGS. Not just like campy gender-ambiguous low-budget stuff. She makes… god, her music videos. And I have met this small human and been to her concerts and the feeling of love and safety around that night was LIFE ALTERING.

Originally posted by saraquinsface

(Also, can we talk about how that’s the flag I gave her hanging up on stage behind her and how much I love her and still cry about that? See question #26 for that story.)

Kate McKinnon, see #3 for the latest in Eevachu self-discoveries. She’s just… SHE’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. She’s famous and she’s weird and she’s out there playing big roles as an openly lesbian woman. She got me through 2016, which was honestly, THE FUCKING WORST. And she helped me accept that I can be a lesbian and still succeed.

Originally posted by myloveholtzy


12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? 

Your parents are just people and one day, you’ll be better than them. You are strong, and you will find the people you are meant to be your people. You’re going to evolve and change throughout your whole life. Don’t be all tumblr witchhunt-y; people make mistakes and grow. Adults barely have any idea what they’re doing, we’ve just done it more.

13. have you come out to friends and family? 

Like occasionally? I only formally “come out” to other gays, so that we may huddle together like penguins in a storm of heternormativity.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? 

I don’t like that it’s made to seem like such a huge deal and that it’s a one time thing. Like… it’s such a pain and you have to do it over and over again and then all the straight people in the room get WEIRD ABOUT IT and you’re now the outsider and the feeling fucking SUCKS. I just don’t like that it’s a thing. The actual term is fine for what it is, since I don’t have a solutions otherwise.

15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? 

Yeah, and it sucks that people feel unsafe enough that they have to be in one.

16. any tips on coming out? 

I am literally the worst person to ask about this because I just like… don’t. lol I let people figure it out. Non-queers love testing out their “gaydar.”

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? 


18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? 

When queer people get to play queer characters and make their own queer stories and I get to sit there and cry because it’s so GENUINE AND GOOD.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? 

Well, my animation teachers would low key be like that won’t sell (see that thing I said about Rebecca Sugar in #10). But I had a gay/straight alliance in highschool, so it was fine.

20. do you practice safe sex with the same gender? 

At this point, I would probably practice any sex with the same gender. (But yes, please.)

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I don’t really like traditional butch/femme role types and I’m not into really masculine ladies. I like girls who are flexible with their gender expression like I am.

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I am a sucker for a strong independent femme in heels that would love to smash the patriarchy and then smash me.

23. how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? 

I wish there were good ones and that I had time to find them or had a senior-qualified gay to tell me where they are in Toronto. WHERE ARE THEY???

25. how does you country view the lgbtq community? 

Pictured: Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister at a pride parade.

On the surface, it’s pretty good. We also have to be careful because there are just some dirtbag conservatives waiting for us to get complacent and take away our rights. Currently, there’s a huge fucking thing about a trans right bill, so I’ve gotten to see which of my family member’s are absolute scum.

They’re here, they hate queers, but they’re usually drunk uncles.

26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?

Hi, yes, hello, haaaaave you met Flat Kate? (see question #10)

Also, Hayley Kiyoko, because like…

…BIG GAY FLAG STORY TIME. So I went to her concert in Toronto this spring and I had everyone outside the venue that I could leave messages on it for her. All of the messages were so funny and heartfelt and there were so many baby gays at the concert and my old gay heart grew 3 sizes that day because they were there with friends and their parents and I was just SO HAPPY AND PROUD.

Then I meet Hayley because bitch splurged on VIP tickets. She gives the best hugs, and she took the time with fans and she was so genuinely happy to be there. We had a great talk and I was just thanking her for being her and doing what she do. And if you know me, you know how important it is that there’s biracial representation and she like got that. And then I give her the flag, which I had drawn on because I’M THAT KID and she’s saying how she’s gonna treasure it and read all of them and I’m like dying and trying not to openly WEEP.

Then I get into the concert which is ALL SAPPHICS, so I’m like the most comfortable that I have ever been in my entire life. Then the sound guys are setting up and they PULL OUT MY FLAG. Now, everyone knew me from when I had gotten people to write messages on the BIG GAY FLAG (”COME SIGN MY BIG GAY FLAG” is what I had been screaming), so when this flag comes out all the girls around me are like, “Girl, that’s your big gay flag.” And then I ASCENDED TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 

27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? 

Don’t fucking make it about you. You aren’t the centre of the goddamn universe. No, you aren’t hearing about “gay news” too much for how many of us there are.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

I’m cagey about it. It always feels so uncomfortable when it’s non-queer people asking. Queer people asking is fine and we can have a good dialogue usually, but cishet people treat me like I’m a novelty and it’s gross sometimes.

Like… dyke is tired, I don’t have time to give you the Introduction to LGBTQ+ class.

Mock me

Originally posted by fuckyeahmingyu

Member: Mingyu

Genre: Smut

Mingyu X Reader

Anonymous asked:Hi I just wanted to say that I love your account and enjoy it a lot. Can I ask for a smut where you’re teasing mingyu Infront of the guys and he ends up taking you home to give you your punishment. Thank you so much ❣✨

“How was New York? I’m really bummed I couldn’t go.” An in bed Wonwoo said to you and the twelve guys that surrounded him. He was bed ridden, forced to stay and rest while the other boys continued with the schedule. He hated being in bed and not being with his members, if it weren’t for his acute gastritis he’d be causing chaos with his best friend, your boyfriend Mingyu who hated that his best friend wasn’t with him.

“It was super cool, I loved it, I want to go back.” Vernon spoke up.

“Yeah it’s was the best. It would’ve been better if you were there.” Jeonghan said silence seeping into the dorm. You all had so much to say but didn’t want to in fear that it seemed like you were all showing off to poor Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo look at how cool this is.” Your boyfriend Mingyu spoke up breaking the silence. He takes out the light saber the guys and him had gotten while in New York from the big Disney store bag he was holding. He had made sure to buy Wonwoo everything he had boughten himself to make sure his bestfriend felt included despite the fact he wasn’t able to go.

“It’s super cool! Did all of you guys get one?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah hyung, of course we did.” An excited Dino says taking the light saber in hand turning on the lights and noises the toy had.

“Don’t think I forgot about you Wonwoo. I got you one too!” Mingyus says voice excited and full of pride.

“You could barely get it for him.” Jun said and you recalled the trip to Times Square , where it was their mission to head to the Disney store and get the light sabers.

The store was packed and the boys made a beeline to the light sabers for there were only 13 out on the floor, one of which a kid no older than eight ended up arguing with your boyfriend to get one. But of course he wouldn’t let the boy get it, it was for his best friend so there he was repeating “no child” at the kid.

“Y/N  had to explain to the kids mother why her boyfriend wouldn’t let go of the extra light saber.” Seungkwan said giggling as he recalled you explaining why he was repeating ‘no child’ and why it was so important to him to keep the toy.

Mingyu groans as the guys start to laugh at the fact he was arguing with an eight year old in limited English over a toy.

“Guys come on. I’m the third best at English!” “No child.” You say at him. The boys around you start laughing, Mingyu’s iconic line from the trip will never die down no matter how much he hoped it would.

He smiles widely as he walks towards you, he takes ahold of your hand while the boys continue to laugh.

“You won’t be saying no child when I make you moan out my name Y/N.” He whispers in your ear and you’re taken aback.

“Mingyu..” you manage to say. He smirks at your shaky response and snakes his hand around you to pull him close to him. You can feel his prominent bulge against you and you feel yourself shake at your core. He wants to take you right then and there for mocking him, it’s taking all his self control not to do so.


“You can’t just say that to me when all the boys are around.” You whisper as the boys continue talking about how beautiful time square is and how much they love shake shack.

“Oh I can do whatever I want.” He says as peppers kisses on your neck. You sigh in pleasure but feel awkward due to the twelve boys in the room.

He directs his attention from your neck to the boys, “We’re going to head back now and get some food. Wonwoo get better hyung.” He grabs you by the arm and pulls you away before you could say anything to the boys.

“Hey!” You begin to say but are silenced by your needy boyfriend desperate to teach you a lesson.

“Mock me again and I’ll take you wherever we are, got it?”

You pout as you get dragged from the hospital Wonwoo is staying at to the dorms a couple blocks away.

“Mingyu I’m sor-”

“I asked if you got it.” He turns to look at you, his pupils a dark brown color filled with lust.

“I’m sorry-” he turns to look at you eyes rolling at your inability to listen to him. He wants to teach you to never mock him again.

“Did I ask for an apology or did I ask you whether or not you understood the fact you don’t mock me unless you want me to have you yell out my name in public.” The dominance in his voice turns your legs into puddy, he was so hot when he wanted to assert his dominance so you didn’t mind the punishment.

“Yes, I got it I won’t mock you again.” You reply but you knew that it wouldn’t be enough for him until he has you sprawled open for him.

“Good girl, now let’s hurry home so I can guarantee you will no longer do so.”

You’re seated in between his legs, his head is tossed back as he groans out in pleasure. The wetness between your legs only seems to be growing by the minute; his moans and groans only seem to be making you wetter. Your hair is caught up in between his fingers and your delighted in the fact you have him so at pleasure.

“Y/N..fuck.” He groans as your teeth slightly graze him.

You lightly kiss his tip and smile up at him admiring him; the strands of hair that stick to his sweaty forehead, his closed eyes and parted lips… wow he was so hot.

“Y/N did I say you could stop?” He says snapping you back to reality. You look up at him innocently hoping he’d finally touch you. You stand up and place your hands on his shoulders. You stare down at him as he looks at you curiously. “What do you think you’re doing, Y/N?”

“I can’t take it anymore I want you to touch me Mingyu.” You pout as you straddle him, your wet clothed heat grinding against his bulging cock he groans as he feels the contact. You grind down your hips even harder against him to feel something, anything.

“Naughty girls only get more punishment, you know that Y/N.” He grabs you by the arms and puts you down on the couch so you’re laying down underneath him.

“You think you can mock me and then do as you please you naughty girl. You want punishment you’ll get it.” He says voice deep and laced with desire and dominance.

“I’ll touch you alright.” He begins to lower himself down on you, his dark brown eyes filled with hunger. He peppers kisses in between your thighs until he’s finally at your mound and plants a kiss. He pushes your legs open and takes a long lick savoring you.

“God your so wet.” You whimper as his tongue keeps on tracing you. He sucks slightly on your clit and you can’t help but squirm.

He brings his two fingers to your dripping core and lightly runs them along you before dipping them inside you. He slowly begins to pumps his fingers in and out of you as you moan out.

“That feels so good Mingyu-ah.” You moan as his lips attach to your clit again as he fingers you. Your chest rises as your breathing becomes more erratic. You can here him lapping up your juices as his tongue traces out his name against your pussy. You find your hands sliding down your body and attaching themselves to his soft dark brown hair.

He takes his fingers out of you and uses them to spread open your folds and lick you. He pulls his mouth away to look up at you, your juices dripping down his mouth.

“I told you you couldn’t touch daddy today unless daddy told you so baby.“You feel yourself on the verge of cumming as your legs clamp shut against him.

He pulls away and tsks at you, “Not just yet baby.” He brings his fingers to your mouth and you take them licking your juices clean from them. He’s so aroused seeing you lick his fingers like that. You get him so worked up, he wants to fuck you into oblivion but he wants to see you a whimpering begging mess before he can do so.

He rises from the couch and pulls off his shirt in one swift move, your mouth practically watering at the sight of his toned and defined chest. You lean up and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, you take his lips into yours. As you do so you reach down to his crotch and begin to wrap your hand around his length. You slowly jerk him and he moans into your mouth, he’s angry that he’s turning into puddy for you. He doesn’t like that he’s letting himself be controlled by you but by god you looked so fucking good.

“Come on Mingyu you know you want me to do this.” You all but moan against his lips. He lowers his hips so you feel his cock against your thigh.

“Want daddy to fuck you baby.” He says voice deep as you continue to stroke him.

“Yes please I want you so bad daddy.” You whine. He moves his hips so he’s rubbing against your throbbing pussy, his tip touching your clit every now and then. His teasing is driving you insane,all you want to do is put him inside of you but you know that if you do he won’t fuck you and you definitely do not want that. He takes your hands in his and puts them above you and spreads your legs wider.

“You think you can get daddy weak for you baby. I’ll have you yelling my name in no time and we’ll see whose weak for who.” He pushes himself into you suddenly and you gasp at the full feeling. He picks up the pace in no time, his cock deliciously filling you up. He takes your right nipple into his mouth sucking and lightly biting it causing you to let out a loud moan. His hips are angled perfectly as well so that he’s hitting your g-spot and leaving you feeling so good you whimper his name.

“I love how you fuck me daddy. You make me feel so good.” He takes his hands from your hands above your head and sets them around your neck and lightly applies pressure so he’s choking you.

“You move your hands and daddy won’t let you cum today baby.” You nod in agreement biting your lip in pleasure. With every swift movement of his hips he seems to be burying himself deeper into you and you feel yourself about to cum. He feels that you’re about to reach your high and stops pulling himself off of you and pulling you up as well.

“Bend over baby I want to see you arch your back for daddy.” And you do as he says positioning yourself in all fours to receive whatever Mingyu will give you. He moves near you aligning himself with your entrance, moving his hand on your back and pushing your upper body down so your ass is up high and your chest and face are pressed into the bed. He slowly pushes into you filling you up slowly and deliciously. You begin to bounce against him shivering every time you go too forward and his cock seems to slip out.

“Oh my god.” You moan out as his hand lowers down to pinch and play with your clit. “Please let me cum daddy! Oh please.” You whine as he pushes against you at the same time you push against him. His other hand moves to your hair and he slightly tugs at it.

“Why should I let my baby cum? Will she mock me again if i do?”

“No daddy I promise I won’t but let me cum, I want to cum all over you please!” The pace of his fingers on your clit quickens as he leans down his lips near your ear and neck and he begins to pepper kisses.

You finally let go due to the way he’s pounding into you, the way his fingers trace on your clit and the way his lips leave a cooling sensation on your neck.

“MINGYU!” You moan out loudly as you fall apart on him. It’s euphoric and all you see is him, you tilt your head up to look at him and see his eyes shut close and his brows scrunch together. He’s close too, the way you yell his name only seemed to push him over the edge and soon he’s cumming inside you. His accelerated breathing and low pants echoing around you two. He pulls out of you and falls on the bed, sweat running down his forehead. You wipe it off and cuddle next to him, his arm instinctively wrapping around you.

It seemed as if though he missed being inside you more than he missed being apart from his best friend.

Wanted this out as a little thanks to you guys for over 400 subscribers. Thank you and I truly appreciate you guys for enjoying my work. I promise to improve and hope you enjoy.


Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three

What happens when Yoongi plays truth or dare with the jerk who splashed him on a rainy day?

Characters: Min Yoongi x Jeon JungKook | ft Kim Taehyung

Word count: 3438

Warnings: Smuttish content

A/N: this was originally on my AO3 which doesn’t exist anymore and it had only two chapters, but I’m planning on making it a mini series hopefully

Originally posted by tearsavi

It was raining. Again. The 10th, no 13th time that week.

Great! Just great! Fantastic!” Yoongi mumbled to himself.

He was trying to walk through the thick rain without an umbrella but he realized very soon that this idea didn’t have any chances of success.

And you may wonder: “Why didn’t he have this very useful object with him that day? That’s what a sane person would do, right?” Well, my darling, first of all, our dear Yoongi is not that normal, not insane per say, but peculiar for many people that have encountered him.

Keep reading

Day Three (One exception au): “Everything is the same except we had the Library AND the Campfire ;)”

Word Count:1,820

Rating:SH for Should’ve Happened! A.K.A PG!

Author’s Note: My exception is PAPPY JOE! You’ll see why. ;)

“You couldn’t watch him because you were afraid something would happen to him because you like him. You make fun of him because you like him. And you’ve never told me that either. Well, you’re right. I love him like a brother.” Riley looked off into the distance as her heart collapsed. “That’s how I love him.”

Before Maya could say anything, Riley ran off. In that moment, it was clear that her little Ray of Sunshine was lying. She kicked the ground hard. The words she spoke were true but not all at the same time! Yes, she liked Lucas and yes, she thought Riley liked him as a brother, BUT Riley also had never really spent time with a boy that wasn’t a brother, a dad, an uncle or a Farkle, so who was she to say they were like siblings? On the other hand, they acted very much a like and he did call her a blonde beauty and really showed some passion when it came to the art program being cut. BUT he was passionate about all of his friends. BUT he did have a fiery side that really got her going. BUT he didn’t like that side of himself and was striving to change, to be more like Riley… BUT- 

She jumped up and started kicking the nearest thing to her which was a tree stump. WHY WAS THIS ALL SO CONFUSING!  Why couldn’t she just speak what she was feeling?! Why couldn’t someone just tell her what to do!

Keep reading

prompt time. things I've heard this week.

1. And that was the moment I knew
2. How late is late?
3. It’s nothing McDonald’s breakfast can’t fix.
4. Tell me not to worry.
5. What are we friends now?
6. Why can’t you just be honest?
7. Good luck with this mess you’re making.
8. I don’t want to get out of bed.
9. Watch out for that one.
10. That’s what happens when you wear red.
11. Have some self-respect.
12. Please don’t wear that dress.
13. It really hurts.
14. You can always wake me up.
15. I’ll be here, in the shadows…
16. I thought you were still there
17. I’ve had this feeling for a long, long time
18. I can’t replace you.
19. Do you want that back?
20. Get wasted.
21. The cops shut down the party
22. I don’t even know what’s going on.
23. Am I getting warm?
24. I don’t want to fight about this tonight.
25. I’ll tell you why.
26. I want to be used.
27. I’d rather have my heart broken
28. Maybe you should look in the mirror
29. I feel good enough right now
30. Are you ashamed of me?
31. I don’t care for most of it.
32. But you’re all that I want
33. Don’t tell me about him.
34  I don’t want to know.
35. I don’t want to see you with her
36. How many times do I have to tell you ?
37. There’s nothing I can say anymore is there ?
38. You’re here to try and make it all better.
39. Go back to California.
40. Tell me something I don’t know
41. Please stop screaming
42. You never called
43. This feels a lot like hitting a wall
44. You think I’m insane
45. You think I’m making it up
46. I’m never going to put myself through this again .
47. Thanks for letting me in
48. I don’t like that I did that to you
49. It’ll only make you mad
50. They know your name
51. Why are they calling you?
52. Look away, look away
53. It’s all in your mind.
54. I would go with you if you calmed down.
55. It came undone
56. I would do that if you let me.
57. We know better
58. Don’t talk to me about the fucking weather.
59. Let me call you ‘baby’
60. You can call me ‘honeybun’
61. I’m losing sleep
62. I am afraid to be close to you
63 . Where should I begin?
64. I’ll be in the garden
65. Be near me
66. They’ll never get you right
67. No one could stop you
68. I only have my opinion if you want it
69. I’ve been watching you all night
70. He should be scared of you
71. Do you have a curfew?
72. You can’t help me.
73. Between me and you
74. Did you think I’d be happy?
75. The trail went cold.
76. I’ve been worried about the future
77. I didn’t want you to know
78. Follow your heart
79. The heart doesn’t lie
80. I’m watching you be torn apart.
81. It feels worse than being kicked in the ribs.
82. It’s getting in the way.
83. It’s a lot easier to just lie
84. Can you even look me in the eye ?
85. Who am I to get in your way?
86. Would it kill you to talk to me?
87. You’re just pretending it didn’t happen!
88. He’s two years old !
89. I just drove around the park
90. You’re pushing me far, far away
91. I want to hold you for longer
92. The more I think about it, the more upset I get.
93. All you had to do was give a fuck
94. I am on all fours
95. I am just a fucking man
96. I will wait
97. I know you hate me
98. She always comes back
99. Maybe if you understood me
100. Loving you isn’t a choice
101. Don’t pretend you didn’t hear
102. This is a nightmare
103. I’m the victim in all of this
104. I’m going back to the club
105. You’ll find someone, you always do
106. You have sand in your hair.
107. It all comes down to you
108. I thought this would help me
109. You’re never satisfied
110. I feel myself giving up
111. I’ll put on a show for you
112. I wish I could make you laugh.
113. Get your shit together
114. My brain isn’t here
115. Everyone I love is on drugs
116. I want to hurry home to you
117. Nothing is over til it’s over
118. You fell asleep watching TV
119. We were moving and shaking
120. I need air
121. You think that’s all it takes?
122. It gave me a rash
123. I’m stretched so thin
124. I wasn’t looking for anything
125. She’s just an unpleasant person
126. Do you actually think the world revolves around you?
127. Have fun in Mexico without me
128. Do you still want to be here?
129. I know you give a fuck.
130. That’s what he said you said.
131. I’ll come back when I can.
132. Don’t tell anyone you saw me.
133. I did it for you
134. Poor you.
135. Could you be more disinterested?
136. There’s nothing more to talk about
137. I’m not interested
138. Don’t make me block you
139. Give it time
140. I just wanted to see for myself
141. You’re different somehow
142. I give up.
143. That’s why we are going to the beach.
144. Take me with you.
145. I want to put my toes in the ocean.
146. You could give me the world, but you won’t even give me a drawer.
147. Don’t hurt yourself
148. Is it better for you?
149. Your mom never liked me
150. This is when you’re supposed to know.

I Didn’t Wake Up Like This - Sonam Kapoor on being a Female Celebrity (Buzzfeed India)

Even after becoming a movie star, it took Sonam Kapoor years to believe she looked the part. In this essay, she’s ready to bust the myth of female celebrity flawlessness.

Like every girl, I spent many nights through adolescence leaning into my bedroom mirror, wondering why my body looked nothing like it should.

Why does my belly crease? Why do my arms jiggle? Why am I not fair? Why are there dark patches under my eyes? Why am I taller than boys my age? Do stretch marks ever go away? Will this cellulite stay forever?

“Itni lambi, itni kaali,” a relative casually let slip at a family gathering. “Shaadi kaun karega?” It confirmed that my greatest insecurities were well-founded.

I didn’t know much at 15. But I knew I could never look like a Bollywood actress.

When I was 13, my family took a trip to Goa. Aishwarya Rai was there vacationing with a friend, and we spent an evening with her. I still remember that in blue jeans and a white tank top, she looked like royalty. It baffled me.

I didn’t know much at 15. But I knew I could never look like a Bollywood actress.

Two years and some surprising life decisions later, Sanjay Leela Bhansali cast me in Saawariya.

Despite being on the cusp of actually being a movie star, I didn’t believe I looked the part. I constantly worried that, if asked to dance in a backless choli, rolls of back fat would give me away as an imposter to the industry. Nobody lines up to buy tickets to see cellulite.

So I embarked on a series of unhealthy behaviours. I dieted serially; sometimes South Beach, other times Atkins. Once, in desperation, I tried a diet that had me eating pineapples all day.

I pushed myself too hard at spin classes, did power yoga for hours at a stretch, and developed an unhealthy relationship with food. Some weeks, desperate to drop a couple of kilos, I would simply not eat.

At 18, I went on a date that I thought went well. Later, the boy told our mutual friend that “Sonam is too big”. I didn’t eat for a day.

(Now, thanks to those dumbass teenage decisions, I’m stuck with acidity for life.)

I had assumed that the self-loathing goes away once you’re on billboards at Juhu Beach. I was so wrong. Far from accepting my body once I was making a living as an actress, I was shown new reasons to hate it.

I had assumed that the self-loathing goes away once you’re on billboards at Juhu Beach.

Articles surfaced online, photos zoomed into my arms and thighs, red circles drawn around the slightest hints of a blemish.

When I had a couple of movies out, Shobhaa De wrote a blog post saying that Sonam Kapoor “just doesn’t cut it in the sex appeal stakes”.

People started calling me flat-chested. I’d never been insecure about my C-cup but I got defensive about it on Koffee With Karan.

Eventually, I didn’t even need the tabloids to point out my flaws – I could look at myself on camera monitors and predict what would be criticised. I still remember the frames I hated immediately: the tight silver dress fromBewakoofiyaan, the song with Neil Nitin in Players, the swimsuit and shorts in Aisha, to name a few.

Of course, scrutiny of female bodies isn’t new, or even restricted to celebrities. I mean, raise your hand if you’ve ever been called “healthy” by a relative, or been given unsolicited advice by a friend about how to lose weight.

Raise your hand if you were told to stay out of the sun so you don’t get dark.

Raise your hand if you started hating your body after somebody else told you how.

Here’s what’s gone wrong:

We’ve been taught that women need to be flawless even when our flawlessness is wildly implausible, sexy even when our sexiness is a break from plot. We’re sprinting through Jurassic Park in heels, fighting supervillains in strapless corsets, being stranded on deserted islands for days without a hint of stubble. Real female bodies are so taboo that hair-removal-cream ads show hairless legs even before the cream is applied.

We’ve been taught that women need to be flawless even when our flawlessness is wildly implausible.

The rules of beauty are strict and it’s almost impossible to win. Anushka Sharma has been skinny-shamed, Sonakshi Sinha has been fat-shamed, Katrina Kaif has been fit-shamed. These are women who are and always have been staggeringly beautiful.

But where there’s a broken system, there’s a solution. The problem is in mainstream culture’s rigid definitions of female beauty. The solution, for me, has been in the women I know.

It’s been a decade since I entered the film industry with my awful self-esteem in tow and, thanks to the female support I’ve had throughout, that self-esteem is in a healthier place now.

I’m lucky to have had my friend and makeup artist Namrata Soni, who sees my face from hyperclose quarters and goes out of her way to make me feel good about it. When I whine about my laugh lines or dark circles, she tells me they’re natural and that’s why they’re beautiful. I have a forcep scar on the right side of my face and my lip lifts up on one side (you notice these things when you’re in front of a camera a lot). When I float the idea of getting them fixed, Namrata reminds me that they make me me.

Instead of letting me interpret my body’s quirks and changes as “flaws”, Namrata helps me celebrate them as unique markers of unique beauty.

I’m lucky to have had my sister and sometimes stylist Rhea, the hottest girl I know. When I’m beating myself up for being too lanky, for not having her curves, she shuts me down and insists I look good in everything she makes me wear. When I start complaining that I don’t look like I did when I was 21, Rhea tells me I look better now.

All the women who’ve championed me have taught me that kind, genuine support can change your friend’s or sister’s or colleague’s life.

(Think of how much better your day is when it starts with a compliment. Think of how easy it is to give that to someone else. Do it every chance you get.)

Today, at 31, I like my body because it’s healthy. I’m done celebrating thinness or flawlessness. I’ve embraced a fit lifestyle, clean eating, and the pursuit of waking up every morning feeling energised. There’s beauty in good health.

The ball is in the media’s court to celebrate fit bodies rather than thin ones, and to know the difference.

I know now that there’s nothing wrong with stretch marks, cellulite, or scars. They’re markers of our growth. There’s beauty in their realness.

And, for the record, I’m not writing this to discourage the pursuit of glamour. Anyone who knows me knows I love feeling pretty – fashion can lend power, makeup can become motivation, a fun accessory can become your source of confidence for the day.

But pursue prettiness for yourself, by your own definitions – not to meet culturally preset notions of “flawless”.

Because flawlessness is a dangerous, high-budget myth, and it’s time we shattered it.

Flawlessness is a dangerous, high-budget myth, and it’s time we shattered it.

So, for every teen girl leaning into her bedroom mirror, wondering why she doesn’t look like a celebrity: Please know that nobody wakes up like this. Not me. Not any other actress. (Not even Beyoncé. I swear.)

Here’s the real deal: Before each public appearance, I spend 90 minutes in a makeup chair. Three to six people work on my hair and makeup, while a professional touches up my nails. My eyebrows are tweezed and threaded every week. There’s concealer on parts of my body that I could never have predicted would need concealing.

I’m up at 6am every day and at the gym by 7:30. I exercise for 90 minutes and, some evenings, again before bed. It’s someone’s full-time job to decide what I can and cannot eat. There are more ingredients in my face packs than in my food. There’s a team dedicated to finding me flattering outfits.

After all that, if I’m still not “flawless” enough, there are generous servings of Photoshop.

I’ve said it before, and I will keep saying it: It takes an army, a lot of money, and an incredible amount of time to make a female celebrity look the way she does when you see her. It isn’t realistic, and it isn’t anything to aspire to.

Aspire, instead, to giving your body as much sleep as it needs. Aspire to finding a form of exercise that’s actually fun for you to do. Aspire to knowing your body and how to live well in it.

Aspire to confidence. Aspire to feeling pretty and carefree and happy, without needing to look any specific way.

And the next time you see a 13-year-old girl gazing wistfully at a blemish-free, shiny-haired Bollywood actress on a magazine cover, bust the myth of flawlessness for her.

Tell her how beautiful she is. Praise her smile or her laugh or her mind or her gait.

Don’t let her grow up believing that she’s flawed, or that there’s anything she’s lacking for looking different from a woman on a billboard. Don’t let her hold herself to a standard that’s too high, even for the women onthe billboards.

Tell her I definitely didn’t wake up like this. She won’t either. And that’s totally, completely fine.

As told to Rega Jha, by Sonam Kapoor

20 things I learned before turning 20.

1) Write everything down. Write on a journal. Try to Write your every emotion and the event that happened everyday. As day goes by, nothing seems to change, but when you look back at your life, everything has changed. Even if you were just at home and the day was uneventful, still write it down. I believe that being home alone gives you time to reflect and think more. My brain has the most thoughts when I’m just home, sitting on the couch. Your future self will thank you later.

2) Try not to hate your parents. Never forget where you came from. Never forget the things they sacrificed for you. I know life is exciting right now as you’re growing up, you’re meeting new people, and you have more freedom. But remember, you will always be their baby. As you’re busy growing up, they are growing old too. Don’t complain when you have to spend Sunday afternoons with them instead of your friends.

3) Grades does not measure intelligence. Grades, SAT scores, AP scores, and the unimaginable AP classes you took in high school does not reflect who you are. I have met so many people who are current scholars, who had high GPA in high school, but they are the most pretentious and most arrogant people I know. All of us has a unique intelligence. And I think that’s the problem with the American school system, if you don’t have high SAT scores, colleges wouldn’t even bother to look at you. Remember, Character is higher than intellect.

4) Eat whatever you want. I cannot stress this enough. I’ve met so many people who are scared to try some food because they are scared they might get addicted to it. So what? Food is amazing. There are far worse things to be addicted at,like cocaine. But not food! Eat until you can’t move anymore. Eat until you feel like throwing up. Because life is so short to limit ourselves. Have a day where you eat nothing but junk food. Eat mcdonalds even though people are saying it’s bad for you, because you have to admit, they have really good French fries. It’s okay to do that. Who cares if you’ll gain a pound for eating another cookie? Eat that cookie. Because tomorrow, everything might be gone or something might happen to you and you didn’t get to eat that cookie.

5) love. Love who you want regardless of gender or color. Do not be scared to love because of what the society might think. True love is a beautiful thing and you shouldn’t be scared to feel it. Love is the closest thing we have to magic because love really does make you a better person.

6) Speaking of love, do not force love to happen. Do not rush things. As the quiet, wallflower person in life, I’m always so observing of people. I am a very serious person when it comes to love. Whenever I see people back in ninth grade going on their FIRST dates, they’re already saying I love you on the first date and making out, I always myself, “why?” And a week later, they break up and hate each other. Whatever happened to romance..and when people also started dating and making out in middle school, I still ask myself, “why? They don’t completely love each other?” Love is so important and it shouldn’t be played like that. It’s not a game. It’s not a competition about which guy kissed more girls or which girl had more guys chasing her. I am so lucky that I waited until the very right moment and did not fall into pressure of middle school ridiculousness. I waited until a person gave me butterflies and made me get up every morning, excitedly… because reality is finally better than my dreams. Let love find you.

7) you can never go wrong with pizza. People dissapoint, Pizza is eternal.

8) Sing. Sing off key. Sing off key in the car. Sing like you’re a broadway star. Singing is good for your soul.

9) Be a role model to children. Teach the importance of love and kindness to children and not the value of money. The children are the future leaders of the world and if we want to change the world, we can do that with the children. If we teach the children to be accepting of everyone and not to be judgmental and hateful, the world will see a better place. Like Nelson Mandela said, “no one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate.”

10) I’m so tired of saying boys can’t cry. Boys can cry. Because boys are also human beings. And not just with boys, people always seem to think that crying is weak. I find people who cry more to be stronger. I find emotional people to be mentally stronger. I really do.

11) spend some time alone. I truly believe that spending alone sometimes is good for you. That way, you don’t have to rely on anybody for your happiness; you can be completely happy with just being by yourself cause at the end of the day, you only have yourself. So you should learn to enjoy laughing at your own jokes.b

12) In-N-Out is amazing.

13) Do not ever change yourself to impress anyone. If they can’t like you for who you really are, then they are not worth your time. Remain pure and don’t be like the rest. Don’t feel dumb if you don’t like what everybody is pretending to love.

14) live with no regrets. I personally do not regret anything in my life because I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that made me the person who I am today. Even though I have done some embarrassing things in the last, for example, those Facebook posts from 2 years ago, I don’t regret any them. I just laugh at them. And it’s nice to go and look back and laugh at yourself.

15) it’s okay to watch Disney movies even if you’re already 18 or even 80. If people tell you that you’re too old to watch Disney movies, forget about them. Be like Peter Pan, be young at heart, and enjoy watching princesses who sings to birds. Gosh.

16) if it is appetizing, eat it, engorge yourself with it because you will be full of the thing you love. if it uplifts you, devote time to it to keep shaping it and as it changes you will change too, because change happens through love. and if it’s important to you, do it even if other people don’t agree or give you weird looks or judge you or react poorly to you. because it’s important to you for a reason and that reason is truth enough. The opposite is true as well, if it’s unappetizing, do not eat, date, or sign up for it.

17) Friends. Spend time with the people who accept who you are and gives you stomach ache from laughing too much. If you feel the need to change yourself for those “friends” to like you, you’re spending it with the wrong people. Spend time with people who make you feel…infinite.

18) things to worry about:




Things not to worry about:


-future (I’m trying hard with this one)

-popular opinion

-girls (or boys if you’re a girl)



19)Take time to think. Take time to read books. It is completely okay for just once in a while to throw away your responsibilities and watch tv on the couch and don’t leave the couch for 12 hours. You gotta enjoy life sometime. It shouldn’t just be all about thinking of school, future, work, or trying to impress that person. Personally write cards to the people you love. I think handwritten letters are still the best.

20) nothing in this world is permanent. So just enjoy the moment while it lasts. The people who said will never leave you might end up the people who’ll leave you next week. World is full of broken promises but you still gotta live. I think the bravest thing I ever did was continuing to live when I wanted to die. That’s why love yourself first so no one has to and just live in the moment.

Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

@monstacookieshere’s that other fic rec list I promised I would make for you because you are lovely and wonderful and gorgeous and i’m so happy we discovered each other. Happy reading. 


1.  Of Superheroes and Super Tantrums by starspangledsprocket 

After Steve makes a bad call on a mission, Tony and Bucky are de-aged into three year olds. It goes about as well as can be expected.

Super cute, super fluffy. 

2. And You Needed Someone To Show You The Way by sailorchibi

Tony knows what the team really thinks of him. It’s a delicate balance: they tolerate him because of his money and his toys, and he gets to stay on the team and fight with them. He’s okay with that. So long as he hides the fact that Steve’s and Bucky’s names are written on his skin in the most embarrassing act of one-sided love affection ever, everything will be fine.It just figures that a fantastically stupid villain, a kidnapping plot and a video camera will bring Tony’s well-kept secret out into the open.  

Heavy on the feels. Sorry. 

4. It’s Not An Epic Romance (it’s a love affair) by ErisDea

They come together at the worst possible time.

(And to be fair, the writing on his back and her unmarred skin literally promises that they will never have the romance of the century.)

There is so much threesome porn my head spun a little. But it’s also pretty fucking cute even though it’s kind of hate-fucking and competition for a while. 


5. Salami by L1av

Everyone hears stories about the idiots who have to go to the ER to get random objects removed from their asses. If someone told Bucky he’d be spending his weekend in the hospital for one of the most embarrassing occurrences of his life, he’d probably laugh in their face and tell them to go fuck off. But here he is, in the ER with eleven inches of packaged, cold salami stuck up his ass. To make matters worse, his nurse is really hot. Really hot.

Join Bucky for one of the most awkward and yet comical experiences of his life that leads to self-discovery, trust and maybe even love.

I laughed so much reading this, not as cringe-y as I thought it would be (going to the ER because you’ve got salami stuck up your ass sounds mortifying) and I honestly think more people need to read this because it’s amazing. 

6. Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (and Other Lies He Tells Himself) by betty days (sadrobots) ***

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess


7. Critical Feline Mass by Kryptaria, rayvanfox ***

Adjusting to civilian life is hard for any military veteran — especially for one ex-sniper with a cybernetic arm, a classic Harley, and friends who keep trying to ‘help.’ When Sam Wilson at the VA sends Sergeant Barnes to rent a room from the hottest guy in the DC area, Bucky thinks maybe civilian life is worth it after all. And then he finds out Captain Rogers is everything Bucky’s not: a real hero, a Medal of Honor recipient, and an all-around nice guy. Bucky doesn’t have a chance in hell with him.

Sam was a huge help to Steve Rogers when he left the military. In the spirit of ‘pay it forward,’ Steve decides to rent out his basement room to a vet in need. But when Sergeant Barnes shows up on his doorstep, he knows he’s in for a world of trouble. Barnes is exactly what Steve never knew he wanted, from his bedroom eyes to his wicked innuendos. And he’s Steve’s tenant.

A love story in twelve chapters, including two Harley-Davidsons, a guardian angel, multiple snipers, the only woman who can scare them into behaving themselves, spontaneous kittens, and one attacking sheep.

Bucky’s makeup and dressing habits actually break Steve’s brain. It’s adorable. 

8. Itsy Bitsy Yoga by wearing_tearing

Bucky teaches a Parent & Toddler Yoga class. Steve and his two year old son are his students.

The absolute cutest shit. Steve’s kid adores Bucky. 

9. The Art of Standing by eadunne2

Steve and Bucky have perfect chemistry from their very first scene, and it leaves them both wanting more. But they’ve both learned the dangers of wanting, and for people that practice good communication so regularly, they kind of suck at it.

So they’ll fuck and tease and talk dirty and even dance. They just can’t kiss

Why yes, I’d love a BDSM fic with fluff and feels. 

10. Click Here to Read Full Article by thecommodore_squid***

“You’re losing public favor at a dramatic rate.”


Fury glared. “Fortunately, I am smart enough for the both of us and have created a narrow pathway of recovery. This option has a little bit of opportunity-cost, but I’m eighty-three percent sure that it’ll be worth it and it’ll work in the long run.” Nick paused, then amended, “Eighty-two percent.”

Steve and Bucky are famous and pretend boyfriends until the moment they’re not. 

11. Lights, Camera, Action by AustinB***

Steve gets a job as costume designer under Nick Fury for Shield Studios, where he meets movie star Bucky Barnes, and it all unravels from there.

Pining. So much pining and adorableness on set. 

12. Run Your Fingers Through The Knots of My Soul by caelestys

Sometimes Bucky thinks it would be really cute to meet someone in a coffee shop, like in those silly romantic comedies Clint makes him watch. But there is a reason why meet cutes in cafes don’t happen in real life, and it’s because customers suck. And besides, love fades. But coffee? Coffee is forever.

This is a story about love and life–and coffee, which Bucky would’ve argued was probably more important than either of the first. But that was before Steve Rogers came along. 

A nice steady burn. Everything’s on fire. This is fine. 

13. Never Say I Don’t Get You Anything Nice by TheMeaningofHaste

“Buck up soldier, it’s time to get you laid for the disabled kids of America!"Steve groaned, wishing he had taken Tony up on his earlier drink offer. "There will be no getting laid,” he grumbled, his voice hushed in case someone might hear. “This is a charity dating auction, not a prostitution ring!"Peggy smirked at him through the mirror. "Don’t say that before you see who wins you,” she teased with a wink. “You might get lucky and land a fella who’s crazy about you.”

Saccharine sweetness. Seriously. I have a cavity. 


14. Hard Time Forgiving, Even Harder Forgetting by lunacanislupus_22

It takes walking down a crowded street in Brooklyn hours later to realise what the emotion is. He’s passing a small child with its mother, smacking their small hands demandingly against the glass of an icecream shop. The child’s eyes are wet with tears. He shies away from it. Particularly sensitive to the sound of children screaming. It’s only after he’s out of hearing that his head clears enough for him to realise. What he’s been feeling around Steve.


Even when Bucky doesn’t know himself, he takes care of Steve. FUCK. I’M NOT CRYING UR CRYING. 

15. Got Me Going Crazy by FawkesFlame123

“Do you have any idea what you do to me, Stevie?” Bucky growled, his voice deep and husky, straddling Steve’s hips, pushing him down onto the sofa, pinning his arms above his head. “Bucky, what is – oh,” Steve frowned, then, thankful that this was Bucky, not a lapse into the Winter Soldier, and he smiled cheekily, “no.”“God, baby doll,” Bucky growled in Steve’s ear, rolling his hips against Steve’s, so that he could feel just how hard he was for him, “you’re so perfect, fuck, gettin’ me all hot and bothered. Do you even know what you’re doin’ half the time?” Steve arched his back instinctively and melted in Bucky’s touch, in his voice, in the lips that were mouthing along his jaw, nipping lightly at firm skin, making him whine, before, “I’m not doin’ anythin’.”Bucky tightened his grip on Steve’s wrists above his head, rolling his hips again, grinding down on the blond, both of them straining in the restrictions of their clothes, “oh, yeah, then what’s caused this?”

Basically, the one in which Steve is an oblivious sweetheart and Bucky doesn’t know how to deal with that.

Ah, yes, some lovely porn. It’s stupid how much Bucky adores Steve. Fuck me up. 

16. Nothing’s as Sweet as Supersoldiers in Love by heartsdesire456

Informally titled: Bucky Barnes Loves The 21st Century Almost As Much As He Loves Steve Rogers

“Captain America’s mystery lover! That’s what everybody’s talking about.”Bucky turned around as soon as he heard ‘Captain America’, only to see Tony had on some entertainment news report and his latest photo of sleeping Steve was flashed up on the screen beside the person talking. “Hey, what’s that?” he asked, hopping over the back of the couch to land beside Stark.“Your Cap lovin’ gone viral, I guess,” Tony said, turning up the volume.“Rumors spread like wildfire with the first photo of Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, was posted to a comically named Instagram called ‘GodBlessAmerica36’.”

Bucky is that boyfriend. 

17. Super Soldier Drug Reactions and Other Engineering Failures by AgressiveWhenStartled 

Beside Natasha, Steve’s phone buzzed facedown on the table. After the last text, he’d hastily flipped the screen over and stared straight ahead like he’d been caught talking in church. Clint nudged him with his elbow. “Better check that,” he murmured. “Could be important.” Everyone at the table pretended they weren’t looking as Steve hesitantly turned his phone over, blushed so hard his ears looked like they’d been boiled, and slapped it back down again.

Covert missions. Stupid guy is stupid. Nick Fury is so done. 

18. Never Someone Else by Kellyscams

Prompt: ok. sub!bucky post catws, D/s universe where bucky is learning to be steve’s sub again. ((with clarification from prompter: Steve was Bucky’s Dom in a D/s world before the war and before the fall. PostWS Bucky is now recovering and learning to be Steve’s sub again))

KELLYSCAMS IS AMAZING OH MY GOD. Read everything they write. Everything. Set yourself on fire. It will hurt less. 

19. Redefinition by manisseta

They took their time to talk about it, both at home and at increasingly surprising places, like that time Steve had asked Bucky, “But would you want me to tie your feet as well or only your hands?” on a rooftop during a recon mission in Finland, and Nick Fury had gently scolded through the comms, “Gentlemen, surely there’s a better time to discuss that?”

I’m always a slut for Stucky nonchalantly discussing shit on missions. 

20. There is a Church Where They Whisper Your Name by bazanite

What you want and what you know to be true are battling up against each other like animals, tusks locked, breathing heavy into the twilight.

I’m not normally into Second Person but this one is perfect. 10/10. 

21. Persistence of Memory by hollimichele

It’s a nondescript sort of a Wednesday morning when the Winter Soldier walks into SHIELD headquarters, bold as brass, and announces his intention to surrender.

This is honestly one of my favorite fics and I’ve read it about 500 times. 

22. Steve Rogers Versus The Classics by thecommodore_squid

Steve narrowed his eyes. “I’m beginning to suspect I’ve been set up.” “I would never,” Natasha said, feigning shock. Steve sighed.“God fucking dammit,” he heard someone say and looked up.

An AU in which Steve is still Captain America and Bucky is the unfortunate history professor selected to help him understand those references.

Quickly becoming a favorite of mine, simply for the way this person writes Steve’s struggle with the 21st century and how some poop culture would affect him. 

23. Young Heart, Out Our Minds by junko

Bucky posts a selfie of the two of them in bed to his instagram. He hashtags it #goodmorningamerica. Sam Wilson and Pepper Potts retweet it to their twitter accounts.

Steve and Bucky acting like the young men they never got to be. 

24. Shyest by biblionerd07

SHIELD discovers that HYDRA took a DNA sample from Captain America and a DNA sample from the Winter Soldier and tried to breed a perfect supersoldier. Steve and Bucky suddenly find themselves the parents of a three-year-old boy who won’t speak.

The cutest kid fic ever. No mpreg (not that I have anything against it, it’s just nice to see an alternate version of these two meatballs having a kid that is genetically theirs) but IT’S SUPER SWEET AND ADORABLE. 

25. Just Hold Me by shanology

Bucky Barnes is living in Avengers Tower, and all he wants in the world is to be cuddled. He sets out to get his new friends to give him the snuggling he needs, because it’s not something he can ask of Steve yet. Steve doesn’t see it in quite the same way. Also, there are Avengers movie nights, possibly with a showing of The Covenant. Just saying.

These two idiots I stg. 

26. My Soul to Keep by hitlikehammers

They’ve had more second chances than anyone has a right to. They’ve survived the unthinkable, and emerged not only breathing, but together. So they don’t risk it; they don’t play games with fate. Every night, they lay everything out: the good, and the bad. The life-altering and the mundane. The bad haircuts and the shitty cologne. Every night before they go to bed, they make damn sure nothing’s left unsaid between them.

Just in case.

I really like this idea of complete opens with ones partner, just laying it all out on the table every night. 

27. Dream of Caramel by gwyneth rhys (gwyneth)

But none of that explains why right now Clint’s pants are literally on fire and Barnes is pitching an entire five-pound bag of pastry flour straight at Clint’s crotch with his metal arm.

Clint’s POV is what I live for. Super cute. Bucky and Steve are such oblivious idiots, but Clint and Natasha love them anyway. 

28. It’s Always Been You, Stevie by FawkesFlame123

Bucky smirked, his blue eyes light in the evening darkness, his short, dark hair lighting up whenever the streetlights fell upon them, “told ya, punk. Now, spill.” “This really isn’t the time to – “Steve, fuckin’ tell me,” Bucky demanded, cupping Steve’s face now, all humour gone, replaced by worry and fear, “what’s wrong?” “I’veneverhadsexbefore!” Steve said, all in one go and managed to slip out of Bucky’s hold, as he went slack, just staring at him. “There, are you happy?” Steve huffed, his voice was shaking, eyes wide and fearful, worried that Bucky would turn and run, “that’s what’s been botherin’ me. ‘Cause, I-I, you know what, forget it.”

What better way to end this list than with a Virgin!Steve fic? 

Hello~! I found time to finally make a stony rec list and here it is! I have read all of these and can say they are my favorites and a lot of them I have read multiple times. So I hope you enjoy these recs~


Vanilla Human Problems by manic_intent

Words: 3911 Status: COMPLETE Rating: EXPLICIT

“AU where Tony isn’t Iron Man. He’s a consultant for the avengers, so they still live in his tower, he still builds/improves their gear, but he never invented Iron Man. He’s still close to the team, and is still a genius, so as the non-superhero member, he gets kidnapped. A lot. The team becomes increasingly protective of Tony." 

And I’d Buy A Big House Where We Both Could Live by shinkonokokoro

Words: 59285 Status: COMPLETE Rating: MATURE

Missing: Tony Stark, billionaire businessman, heir to Stark Industries, reward: none

Only Steve didn’t know that when he picked up the waterlogged unconscious man from the bank of a river.

How to Lose a Super Soldier in One Easy Step by and_backagain, jibrailis

Words: 18248 Status: COMPLETE Rating: EXPLICIT

Rogers jerks backwards, shock registering on his face, and Tony thinks,welcome back to the land of the living, Cap, looks like you’re sticking around.

Or, a Pushing Daisies AU.

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My 2016, and life resolutions.

1.       Read more. Finish the books you always promised yourself you would finish. Read them, annotate, and lend them to a friend you think would enjoy them. Borrow and read your friends’ favourite books.

2.       Reveal less. Speak less, listen more. Think twice before speaking. Express yourself with the least amount of words possible. Choose your               words wisely.

3.       Discover a new passion (e.g. calligraphy, photography, poetry).

4.       Write more often. Ideally in a notebook. Journal every day, or on special occasions.

5.       Keep a gratitude journal, and read in it whenever you feel blue.

6.       Be bolder about your faith, don’t be lukewarm.

7.       Pursue a deeper, more intimate relationship with God.

8.       Dive into the Word of God, and study it.

9.       Complain less. Don’t allow yourself to complain, nor speak negatively about anything or anyone.

10.    Apologize more.

11.    Cut down any relationship that doesn’t bear good fruits. A good tree cannot bear bad fruits. Simply cut it off, no explanation needed. You’ll thank yourself later on.

12.    Keep your circle smaller, and invest in long-lasting relationships.

13.    Love others so radically they wonder why.

14.    Find a part-time job you like, and be the best at it.

15.    Complement others more often, complimenting them for who they are, and  not  for outward appearances.

16.    Truly mean what you say.

17.    Spend less time on social media. Try to deactivate at least one social media account, and don’t look back.

18.    Invite someone out for coffee, non-romantically.

19.    Light more candles.

20.    Start saving for something you really like.

21.    Keep a prayer book, and pray for someone or something new each week.

22.    Let someone know you are thinking about them, and praying for them.

23.    Spend money on valuable things, such as clothes, rather than food.

24.    Be careful with what you eat.

25.    Sleep more. Sleep earlier, and wake up earlier.

26.    Take care of your body. Your body is your instrument. It is not your own. You’ve been bought at a price. Your body is a temple.

27.    Stay pure.

28.    Watch your thoughts, and guard your heart.

29.    Fast more often. Strive to be more spiritual, and to desire things for the spirit, not the flesh.

30.    Commit wholeheartedly to the Lord, and take the next step and get baptised.

31.    Let go of your past, there’s a reason it’s there.

32.    Forgive others. You are not perfect yourself.

33.    Serve others, and stay humble.

34.    Praise God in every high and every low.

35.    Consume less coffee.

36.    Take less over the counter medication. Do something about your pain.

37.    Drink more water. Drink more tea.

38.    Don’t drink alcohol.

39.    Be more open-minded, and do not judge. But also, do not compromise on your beliefs. Respect yourself enough to say “no”.

40.    Be yourself, and stay true to yourself. You are God’s masterpiece, created and crafted in His own image.

41.    See others, including yourself, with the loving eyes of Jesus.

42.    Worry less, and pray more.

43.    Learn Arabic.

44.    Learn Hebrew.

45.    Learn sign language.

46.    Smile to strangers.

47.    Pay it forward every month.

48.    Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

49.    Go on a road trip.

50.    Travel by yourself again.

51.    Dedicate a time for others, a time for yourself, and a time for God.

52.    Discover your city, as a tourist would.

53.    Remember that ultimately, you are a tourist on this earth, and that everything here is temporary. Have a heavenly mindset.

54.    Accept compliments, and don’t question peoples’ motives.

55.    Accept love.

56.    Only allow a healthy level of stress in your life.

57.    Give things time. Trust in God’s perfect timing.

58.    Don’t lie. Always speak the truth.

59.    Memorize your favourite verses.

60.    Send handwritten letters, cards and postcards by mail.

61.    Remember your friends’ birthdays and phone numbers by heart.

62.    Volunteer more.

63.    Cut your intake of meats. Strive to eat only plant-based foods. Limit your consumption of fast-foods. Indulge yourself when you cheat.

64.    Exercise more. Walk more. Take the public transit, drive less.

65.    Embrace adulthood with open arms, and don’t look back.

66.    Enjoy every moment and live it to the fullest.

67.    Donate to local charities.

68.    Encourage local stores, rather than big corporations.

69.    Stand up for injustice, and speak up for those that cannot.

70.    As long as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone.

71.    Try new recipes.

72.    Watch less TV, consume less media; it shapes your mind.

73.    Order delivery food more often.

74.    Keep your room clean and organized. A clean room results in an organized mind.

75.    Breathe.

76.    Turn your cellphone off.

77.    Stretch more.

78.    Read daily devotionals.

79.    Read about a new country each month.

80.    Give small gifts, for no specific reason.

81.    Replace any old habit, by a good one.

82.    Don’t compromise. Call things as they are. Sin is sin. Don’t abuse God’s grace; don’t step on Christ’s blood.

83.    Watch yourself, and self-reflect.

84.    You’re human, remember that.

85.    Ask for help. There’s no shame in asking for help. It’s a sign of courage, not weakness.

86.    Enlarge your music repertoire, discover new artists.

87.    Plan ahead, and don’t procrastinate.

88.    Say “I love you” and “I miss you” more often.

89.    Don’t over think.

90.    Watch more movies.

91.    Listen to your pulse and heartbeat.

92.    Do more push-ups, gradually.

93.    Wear your favourite fragrance more often, on casual occasions too.

94.    Learn new words and use them in everyday language.

95.    Take your time.

96.    Forgive yourself.

97.    Stay down-to-earth.

98.    Attend more concerts, and more events in your city

99.    Visit a new church.

100.  Breathe. It’s all going to be just fine.

anonymous asked:

Trespasser question! I saw you reblogging spoilery stuff so I hope you're alrgiht with it but if not, please disregard and sorry for any inconvenience! Katy, my poor heart can't with what Cole says about Qun!Bull's betrayal, that there isn't any pain (and to a lesser degree, that regardless of his approval Bull betrays you even if the Chargers are alive but you didn't do his personal quest.) I'm trying to find justifications but I keep thinking that Bioware simply did him dirty because (1/2)

of their whole savage Qunari shtick they sometimes have going, but I’d love to know what are your thoughts on the matter. Your analyses of the Qun are always so on point! (2/2)

D’AW you’re the sweetest.

so lots of really articulate people have said really awesome things about this already, but hey, I like talking, I can throw in my two cents too.

hilariously i’ve not played trespasser yet due to LOTS OF REASONS that make me angry at frigging ea origin, but i’ve spoiled everything for myself outside of the main plot stuff lmao.

so the thing about bull is that he compartmentalizes. he is so frigging good at emotional detachment (of the disassociation / repression variety) because he’s had to be in his life. it was at the very least a coping mechanism he developed while on seheron. one of my favorite horrifying facts about his past is how most qunari on seheron lasted ~2 years, and he was there for ~10. like, let that sink in. most soldiers lose their minds/go tal-vashoth, die, or get brought back for reeducation/recuperation by the end of 24 months. hissrad managed seheron for 120 months (that number still seems too small – 520 weeks, 3650 days, waking up every morning not sure if that was the day he was going to die; not sure if that’d be the day someone he considered a friend, who he depended on, would lose themselves; not sure if the bartender he drank with every night was gonna end up with a knife between his ribs, and then think about how he’d deal with it once it finally happened (because it always does, nobody survives seheron, he knows that); not sure if the baker down the street will be there tomorrow to sneak him pastries to make him smile), and finally broke when a bunch of kids he probably knew were slaughtered. and even then, once he let himself feel the rage, let himself untether, he still stopped and wanted to start over. he pulled himself back enough to identify what his next steps needed to be.

hissrad survived seheron because he knew how to compartmentalize, and he knew what he needed to do to relieve the pressure building up behind his eyes. (we see this with bull after adamant – he knows what he needs to get his head screwed back on straight enough to keep going, and while you can argue that being beaten with a stick is an unhealthy coping mechanism, if it works… assumedly he had something similar when he was younger on seheron. he had to have.)

now let’s talk about the iron bull.

everybody’s talked about the emotions bull has tied up in his boys (and think about that, he doesn’t call them his men, he doesn’t call them his crew, he calls them his boys, which is such a great use of language/word choice.) i hate to rehash things, but every member of the chargers we meet is an outcast in some way (and i’d bet the whole of the company are too). all of them were rejected or had to leave their homes – and they’ve found their new place in the chargers. bull didn’t have to make a group of mercenaries out of outcasts. but they’re the people who he was drawn to and vice versa, and he finds a way how to be who he is (a qunari spy, ben-hassrath, a man who understands the darkness he sees inside of himself and is devoted to controlling it, a friend, a  lover, someone who’s almost Tal-Vashoth but not quite…) amongst them because he gets them. he understands. he is as much an outcast as he is someone loyal to the qun – by this point, the qun isn’t exactly the priority it was for him before.

the qun doesn’t forbid friendship. but at the end of the day, friendship doesn’t surpass the qun. nothing surpasses the qun. at the end of the day, a qunari’s devotion is to the qun – and the very fact that bull hesitates when given the choice between sounding the retreat and saving the dreadnaught during the demands of the qun is proof of his faltering on this ultimate rule. (i’m not sure i 100% buy the theory that the entire setup was to force bull’s hand in being brought to heel under the qun or going tal-vashoth, though it’s fun to consider as an element of the situation.) and so bull falters, and the inquisitor decides for him.

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top twenty high school au

1. Mine Now by aclosetlarryshipper (32k)

After Harry is expelled from private school, he joins a secret competition to get back at the boy who made it happen.


This is the story of how Harry finds himself pouting in Louis’ passenger seat with a raging boner on the way to seduce his ex boyfriend.

 2. Allies in Heaven, Comrades in Hell by rockinaintnowalkinthepark (265k)

A Catholic school!AU where Louis is finishing sixth form and will definitely be famous someday if Harry has something to say about it, Liam is the racist homophobe that Zayn is dreadfully in love with, and Niall teaches guitar. ~ “Louis remembers it from a few weeks before - Harry had told him that when he loves someone, he loves with every ounce of his being, and it often hurts to feel it. Louis hadn’t really understood what he’d meant until now.”

Keep reading

Broken - Bucky Barnes x Reader


Summary: Training with Bucky was part of your daily routine, until one day he unwittingly loses his mind and ends up hurting you really, really bad. Bonus: Reader has super powers! :D

Word count: 1292

Warnings: Starts with fluff, ends with suffering. Hardcore fighting, unconsciousness, blood. Might brake your heart?

A/N: There’ll be a part 2! I don’t know how many parts this will have… But there will be a part two!!


Joining the Avengers was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you. You had discovered your power in a very young age: 4 years old; Of course you didn’t understand them entirely at first, but as the time went by, you were able to control it perfectly, around the age of 8 or 10. They were normal to you. A part of you. But it didn’t stop your parents from fearing you: they raised you and then, when you were 18, they gave the house and the car to you, gave you a great amount of money and… Left. You saw them walking down the street with their suitcases until they disappeared on the horizon, never to come back. And you never saw them again or heard about them.

The Avengers took knowledge of you after the attack on New York City, back in 2012. There was a bridge falling, until it suddenly stopped, saving hundreds of people; Iron Man would never had made it back if it wasn’t for you. All that because you had the ability to control any kind of metal.

With the Avengers, you finally had friends that you could rely on and that didn’t fear you. And for the first time in years, you were not alone.

When Steve found Bucky and brought him to live with you all, your world was complete. Bucky was the best thing that happened to you after you joined the team. You two became best friends in a matter of days, being always together. It is true that when he first met you and learned about your power, he was somewhat afraid of you, but you made a promise to him that you would never control his metal arm. Ever. No matter what.

Lately you had been training together: more like him training you than with you, given the fact you were not strong enough(yet). You could move things with your mind, but your abilities ended there: you were weak, didn’t know how to fight (nor did you were good with moving at all, stumbling and falling on stuff all the time), and you were actually quite small. So Bucky decided he’d teach you how to defense yourself in combat.

The two of you had been in the (huge) training room for half an hour now and you were already out of breath.

Take it easy on me, Bucky! - you’d have shouted if you had enough air in your lungs.
- The bad guys won’t take easy on you. - he said with a grin and threw another attack on you for you to stop. You tried, but missed it and ended up on the floor. Bucky laughed and helped you get up. - Let’s do it again. Look, I’ll repeat my movement slowly. Observe. – he made his movement in slow motion – See how I’m going to throw a punch at you with my left arm?
- Yes.
- So, I go to punch you, but you stop that. As you did.
- Yes.
- But my right leg is right behind me. You stop the punch, but if don’t low your other arm immediately, I’m going to hit your ribs with my right knee. As I did before, except I only pushed you. Otherwise you would’ve broken something.
- Thanks for worrying about my inner structure.
- You’re welcome. - he giggled – Shall we try again?
- Yeah! Let’s do it.

You put yourselves in attack position again and you nodded to let him know you were ready. Bucky basically flew onto you. You stopped his punch successfully, but when it came to stopping his knee… You didn’t put much strength in your arm, so you ended up hitting yourself on your stomach, causing you to let out a loud ‘oooff’ and bend over yourself, wrapping your arms around your waist.

You’ve got to put more strength into your arm. - he said, patiently – C'mon, you’re training with me, remember?
- You better watch your mouth, boy.
Bucky giggled watching you slowly put yourself together.
- I’m no boy. Are you alright?
- I’m ok… Old man. - You looked up at him and grinned. He smiled and messed up your hair. You slapped his wrist.
- Ok. Let’s do it again.

You had to do it over and over again until you finally got it right; it only costed you a few self punches. Once you did it, he happily congratulated you and cheered up for you, holding your head against his chest and messing your hair up (again). He insisted on repeating the movement until you could do it really fast. Then, he’d take you for ice cream.
The next 8 attacks were pretty successful. But it was on his ninth attack that you managed to stop it perfectly:

- A ha! I’m getting good at this! - you gladly stated. But there was no answer.

Bucky stood in front of you, an empty and lifeless look on his eyes, though you could tell he wasn’t actually seeing the things around them. Neither was he thinking about something. He had a slight frown on his forehead, besides that, he had no expression at all. He was… Frozen. The only he was moving was his chest, going quickly up and down, heavy breathing due to the training. But as you watched him with confused and curious eyes, you observed and heard his breath getting heavier and heavier quickly. He had lost his mind.

- Bucky? - no answer – Bucky. Buck!

You called his name out in vain. He didn’t seem to be listening at all. You got worried and anxious, heart heavily pounding against your chest and starting to hurt. You were still in the exact position you stopped his attack. You swallowed thickly and blinked, moisturizing your eyes that were now feeling dry due to the lack of blinking.


You shouted and shook his arm, which you were still holding. He finally moved and looked at you with eyes full of confusion, angst, fear and rage. It was when he threw his first punches at you, hitting your torso multiple times before throwing a powerful punch under your chin with his metal arm, launching you in the air for about 4 meters[13 feet], back hitting right on the ground. Feeling nauseated, dizzy and confused, you couldn’t ratiocinate, not even to defend yourself. When you started to actually feel the excruciating pain on your torso, you felt Bucky gripping your leg and turning it, the sound of the bone cracking and flesh being stretched. A symphony of dry and wet sounds impossible to describe echoed through you. You shouted in pain and horror and tried to crawl away from him, in vain; he grabbed you and turned you to face him, kneeling on top of you.

- I WILL NOT– BE CONTROLLED– BY YOU. NEVERMORE! -Each pause followed by a punch on your face.

You were in such pain you lost all your consciousness. You might have heard Natasha and Sam yelling. You might have seem Bucky running away. You might have felt Natasha trying to help you but not knowing how, but you sure felt her tears hitting your face. The only thing you were certain about was a strong taste of metal taking your mouth accompanied by a thick feeling on your throat, until you coughed up blood all over your own face and neck. You heard more footsteps, all rapid and nervous going all directions. Or it could’ve been just a delusion. You couldn’t tell. The sounds around you slowly faded away and eventually everything was taken by complete darkness.

What did you think about it, space babes? I promise the next chapter won’t be as violent as this.
Keep an eye open for part 2! If you’d like to know when the second part is posted, feel free to drop by my ask box or message me to let me know; once I post it, I’ll gladly warn you and send you the link for it :D
In the meantime, check out my previous writings here. Come say hi to me and remember: requests are open!

desintegrer-deactivated20170225  asked:

Hi! I love your blog! I just wanted to ask, how do you effectively read a book? Reading in general is great holistically and it helps you improve your writing. But whenever I read, I always feel like I'm not gleaning anything that helps with my own work. Any advice on that? Thank you sm! xx

Yes, most writers have an opinion on this. But it’s hard finding resources that address your valid issue that don’t feel like being stuck in senior English Lit class on a warm summer day and looking out the window and seeing everyone else having fun and pointing at you. 

[please note, some of the works referenced here may contain violence and other triggers; everything is duly noted and behind a link.

The problem could lie in what you’re reading, how you’re reading or why you’re reading. I’m going to post some thoughts and some resources that hopefully will help you with your diagnosis. 

Why are you reading? When bogged down with stuff they have to read, people often react by then turning to fun and fluff to relax. Perfectly understandable. The what that’s missing for a lot of people is reading in between. Something challenging that doesn’t feel like trying to climb an 80-foot brick wall. A different genre. Lit fic for adults (though I loathe that distinction, but the publishing industry doesn’t so there it is) instead of YA or NA. If you’re 15 or older, really, there shouldn’t be a problem with reading a good modern literary gem like The Historian or The Book Thief or Isabel Allende or Orhan Pamuk. And 15 is just arbitrary. There are 13 year olds who could devour these books and get more out of it than a supposedly educated 35 year old. 

Now we get to how. Here are some tips and links for finding a way to read like a writer. 

Stephen King Himself said: “Constant reading will pull you into a place… where you can write eagerly and without self-consciousness.” Meaning you will, after reading stimulating prose, start to internalize good writing and that makes it easier for you to produce YOUR good writing. Again, what stimulates your creative senses is not likely to be the same thing that stimulates your best friend and writing buddy’s, or mine. Keep reading, you will find it. 

This is a pretty good checklist to get you started. 

Here’s an excellent list of books and stories (more on those in a minute) to read with the all important why – as in, what you as a writer can get out of reading that work. 

One of the tips I see mentioned repeatedly is to just go ahead and rip off something you just read and write it your way, or write your own story in that style. I agree. Go ahead and copy. Read a novel or a chapter or a short story and write it your own way. Fanfic Hemingway, ffs!  

Publishing does not have to be the goal for everything you write. You need to be able to write for the sheer orgasmic joy of putting words on paper. Write for yourself every now and then. You don’t need to silence just your inner editor; sometimes, you need to tell your inner lawyer to stfu, too. 

Something I’m noticing at the back of books of multiple genres in recent years is a section with questions for book clubs. You might find some good, specific questions to help you think about the Big Ideas of the book. Also, try googling interviews from the authors about the book you just read. See what they were thinking. Did you get that out of their work? If not, why do you think you saw it differently? The answer to that question might just be you, discovering your own voice.

As mentioned above: One format I think is underappreciated and not read enough for simple pleasure is the short story. A good short story can teach you economy of description, the evocation of mood and feelings, and all about beginning, middle and end. I can give this advice to all writers, without equivocation: Read short stories. 

There are free online journals, really cheap (like 99 cents) literary journals on Kindle and other services, classic stories for free at the library … Even if you never intend to write short stories, READ SHORT STORIES!!

Here are some suggestions for short stories with explanations of how they can help you as a writer. Two are available online for free, the others should be at your local library, or they will know how to get them for you. Blatant opinion: If you don’t read Alice Munro, you are missing out on life. 

And this just hit my email yesterday: Three very short stories by Syrian author Zakaria Tamer. They are crammed with violence, religion, sex and just plain WOW. His use of the absurd to showcase hypocrisy, both individually and by the state, is simply brilliant. Note how he uses structure and dialogue and voice in mere paragraphs. I also highly recommend subbing to Electric Literature for access to great reading for writers. 

So this topic can never be discussed without further props to the master, Stephen King, and his book On Writing. He has lists of books he’s read and refers to both in the back and now online

One last note for the brave and determined who get this far down:  I recently finished (in two days) John Rember’s MFA in a Box: The Why to Write a Novel. I have to say, I am still raw and hollowed out from reading it. It is a highly philosophical look at writing and being a writer, and baldly psychotherapeutic in many places, too. He’s a bit old school, even for my old ass, but noting that is one way to begin to understand a writer’s voice. 

The two chapters that resonated the most with me were Writing Violence and Writing Grief. Not at all what you are thinking, but it is definitely not a book for the squeamish or anyone afraid to look inside their own dark hearts. He discusses quite a few books from other authors, and I’m not ashamed to say I went and bought three of them (so far!) to read and digest like he did. Knowing why you are writing can help you choose what you are reading to figure out why you are reading and how that can help you. 

If you find something that is of use to you on this issue, do share! 

– mod aliya

On hate..

Due to recent events, I decided I should take the opportunity to post a little text about hate, and hateful comments.
To start off I’ll tell you I’m sixteen and I’ve gotten a lot of hate from a small age. To this day I don’t know if being called annoying and the cause if your grandpa’s death by other six year olds is bullying, but that’s around the time I remember me feeling bad about parts of me.
When I became 13 I started drawing, just because I had nothing better to do. That’s the time I also got to write an actual paper of some fanfiction, but that’s another story.
Drawing was fun for me, I was good, due to genes and I realised I could draw my oc, the person I imagined to be, the person I hoped to be when I’d grow up; even better, the ideal version of how I wanted my life and looks to be.
I got my first hate comments one day in class. I know it doesn’t sound important, but when kids your age say what you love to do is shit then you think it’s shit too, even though you’ve tried your best.
The drawing was one of my OC, and as kids claimed she looked like a total bitch. Their reaction was even worse at the sound of her story and I suddenly felt so offended that my ideal life seemed like a piece of shit to others.
Especially one of my friends, really, really hated my OC.

Until that time, I hated Justin Bieber with burning passion and i knew so many others that did too. But one day it came to me that, if he, a teenage singer, could make it through all of these hateful comments, so could I. I could make my stories, my art, everything on me better.
I strictly forbid everyone to call me Eunice, my birth name, and call me Evie instead, a name very few people called me, I wanted to be one of these people that would never shine out, not until they got their chance to. Evie is a very common name in Greece, so I felt one, mixed, an equal to the others.
Next hateful comments came from fellow artists, always my age to that point. I knew there were ones better than me, people who were so good, my art seemed like nothing compared to theirs.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt so unloved and unliked, to a point I bullied my own self, heavily.
I was incapable to think that most people liked my work.
My dad, managed to advice me that I could never be enough for everyone, that hate was everywhere and if I didn’t stop being a hater too, it wouldn’t stop.
He, my mom, my girl friends and my very best friend at the time, John, were always by my side, supporting me, and finally I could draw and write confidently again.
I still have to say a big thank you to that boy, even if at the moment, he’s my number one hater.
This summer I didn’t draw at all. Even though I’ve decided drawing and writing is my plan for my life I got very put off by some comments of a fellow, older and experienced artist.
There didn’t seem to be a perfect drawing for her, all of mine had flaws.
I opened this blog, fearing, I still couldn’t be completely liked, but all your sweet comments prove me wrong.

I still cannot draw completely now, last things I did were some loose inks for an old drawing and I seriously don’t think that being sad about my work will get me anywhere.

The point is, because I think I got off subject a bit, that hate only brings more hate. It darkens the hater’s and hated’s soul. So if anyone of my followers is reading this, please don’t leave hateful comments and please don’t let hate get to you. You’re an amazing person.
And let me tell you what: if you give hate, you’ll get hate. That’s how it works. Considering though we are human beings and constantly making mistakes, you should know, that if you hated once and regretted it at a point, it’s fine.
It’s also fine feeling sad when hate gets to you. It’s a natural reaction as we all feel that sometimes we’re not really worthy of anything by it. It’s okay not to feel okay.
But it’s not okay making someone feel like that. It’s not okay being a part of destroying someone’s self esteem, or having no respect to their well being.

Hate. Hate. Hate.
I’m sure it will always be a part of this world, this society but I’m trying to tell you here that you should see the bright side of it.
Now, I know, I never actually felt happiness about the love comments i received for my work, but I’m changing that. Also! (To the people hating furiously out there although I know my amazing followers would never do that!)How would you feel of someone made you feel shit about what you do? If your efforts were never enough for someone and all the hard work you’ve done so far, that hate leads you to the extreme reaction of abandoning everything you do? Not good. I know. So don’t hate people cause that’s what others think when they get hate for their work.
Please, for one last time, don’t let hate get to you. I mean it. There will always be someone that loves what you do, and even if it’s only one person keep holding on for that one person.
When time comes the person will become two, three, a hundred and three. Sometimes that first one, that person that would love you might not now, but you have a hundred and two people more to make happy with your work, a hundred and two more people that love you, for your work and who you are.

Nothing will get you. Nothing can get you, not unless you let it do so.

I’m here for you all… and I love you all. Id love to be that person that’d never stop supporting you if you’d let me.

The 100 Positivity Week

Okay, so today starts “The 100 Positivity Week” organized by @bobmorleyprotectionsquad​ :)

I’m not really good with edits, gifsets and stuff like that, so, I will share my personal experience for Day 1, Thursday - cast appreciation.

I wrote this on twitter, for help with some trends, but I will share it here too.

Probably some stuff, the ones who are following me since the beginning already read some stuff, but let’s do it again.

Eliza Taylor

Originally posted by offtopolis

Why do I love and support Eliza so much?

Growing up, for me, as a girl who never belonged to the standard ideal of beauty that this society and the media  try to impose us, wasn’t easy.

I’ve always had issues with my weight. I did so many diets, see so many doctors, but losing weight was a big issue. Still is.

Being pressured by my family, especially by my grandmother, to lose weight, never helped me to see myself as beautiful. I was 13 when all the things got worse. The family problems that I had didn’t helped me, and the depression that followed those problems only make everything worse.

With time, I learn that I can love myself even when I’m not the beauty standard that society (or my family) try to impose me.

Now, with 24 years old, I love myself with all my heart. Truly.

I understand that if I want to be loved by someone, I need to love myself first.

My issues with my weight don’t bother me anymore. I’m not going to try to follow a standard just because society tries to impose that to me.

We all are different. We have different bodies types, different heights, different personalities… The world is better because all the differences. 

If you ask me “Do you love yourself?” I will answer you that yes, I love myself. My self esteem improve so much since I started to accept myself.

In a world like this one, where so many girls (and boys as well) are criticized for not being a part of the standard that society try to impose us, we need to learn how to ourselves, and understand that we are perfect just the way we are.

Eliza Taylor, for me, become an inspiration, someone that I can look after if I ever start to feel that I’m not worth it, that because I’m not what society thinks I should be, I’m less than the others.

I can look after her, see her interviews, and be inspired by her. By how she loves herself and by how she encourage us to do the same.

I’m thankful for having the opportunity of having this amazing lady as lead in one of my favorite shows.

Thank you Eliza Taylor, for making me believe that I can be who I am and still fulfill my dreams.

You are amazing and I’m proud of being of your fan. [x] 

Bob Morley

Originally posted by the-ark-is-dying

Why do I love and support Bob so much?

Depression, bullying, being judge by how I look like - all of this things are something that I’ve been through on my life…

I had depression when I was 13 after having family problems, I’ve been bullied through high school (because I wasn’t “skinny enough” for my colleagues on school ) and even on university (Cyberbullying is real and that happened to me on university - because people found it funny mocking me and my group of friends online, with facebook pages, fake accounts, where they body shaming me & more people.) and because I don’t belong to the standard ideal of beauty that this society tries to impose I’ve been judge by that.

Recently, I wrote about how Eliza and her interviews helped me to accept myself as who I am.

Bob Morley inspired me to never stop fighting for my dreams, to never give up, to believe that even with a storm on my way, I will stand up and do what I want, be what I want.

His support and words about mental health are so important to me, to help me going through my problems, to see my depression has something that don’t have to stop me to fulfill my dreams.

Yes, I was very young when I had my depression, yes, I am a lot better now than I was before, but there are some things in life that you never forget and usually make you believe that you are not worth it. That happiness in life is hard to get or to happen to you.

We all deserve happiness. And Bob’s words helped me to believe in that once again.

Thank you Bob Morley, for inspire me.

Thank you Bob Morley, for speaking up about this issues.

Thank you Bob Morley for being you, I’m so proud to be your fan. [x]

I love and appreciate all the cast. 

All of them have a special place in my heart, but Eliza and Bob are the ones who helped me more, so here it is. 

My personal contribution for “The 100 Positivity Week”. 

I hope my words can help someone, the same way Eliza and Bob helped me.

Favorite Day

(My 5th Owelia story holds a piece of my soul.)

“The birds have vanished into the sky and now the last cloud drains away. We sit together, the mountain and me, until only the mountain remains.” Owen lay back as he said it, resting his head on a patch of soft grasses that surrounded them.

“Only the mountain, eh?” Amelia teased.

“…And you.” He added, looking right into her.

Her breathing stopped for a moment. Then she inhaled deeply, as if suddenly remembering how. She turned her gaze to the view of Mt. Rainier far in the distance across a long valley and an endless sky. That eternity was a safer place to look than the one she saw in Owen’s eyes.

“I can only imagine the words that Ancient Chinese poets would have used if they could have seen me coming.” Amelia joked, because that was easier than pregnant silence.

Owen chuckled, because that was easier than pressing her with his feelings. For the time being.

“Tell me a story,” he asked of her.

“About what?” she wondered.

“Tell me about your favorite day. You know, a day that if you could go back in time and do it over, you wouldn’t change a thing.”

“My favorite day…” Amelia sat in thought for a while.

Owen watched her hands play with the lupines growing among the grasses. Those flowers looked like Ancient Chinese houses, full of poetry of their own, at least when she touched them.

Amelia had a lot of days she’d do over again if she could - at least a thousand – but all differently. She didn’t much like the past. But Owen had a way of making her recall the things worth remembering.

And so Amelia remembered…

“The summer I was 13, my friend, Michelle, invited me to spend a couple of weeks at her aunt’s farm in Upstate New York. There was a festival going on a few towns away. Her aunt said no, but I convinced Michelle we should go anyway. Her aunt thought we were walking to town to see a movie and do some shopping. She told us to be back by dark. Really we walked to the highway and hitchhiked to catch a ride. The whole walk I was high. Not on drugs, but something else. It was something I’d never felt before.”

Owen looked at her thoughtfully. He wanted this.

Amelia continued, “A couple in a pick-up stopped for us, and said we could hop in the back with their kids. There was a wooden frame around the truck bed so we could stand up and hold on. The truck started moving, and my high got bigger. The wind was in my face, blowing through me, like it held my soul. I felt like I was moving toward something huge and great, like how my life could be if I imagined hard enough. The fields around us were so green, and there was a rainbow in the sky – only not just a regular one. It was a triple rainbow, spanning across the entire horizon. I’d never seen one before - or since. I didn’t even know they existed. And then all at once, everything seemed possible.”

Owen tried not to move a muscle, lest she stop talking. He wanted more of her, so much more.

And she gave him more. “The festival was sensory overload – full of color, movement, sounds, fragrances, and people. We met this boy playing carnival games. He caught my attention because somehow he won every time. He had this shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair that fell in his eyes like Kurt Kobain’s. I asked him if he wanted to get ice creams with us, and he did. Only he got a chocolate milkshake instead. He let me taste it, and all my 13-year-old self could think about was how his lips had been on the straw before mine.”

Amelia paused and glanced at Owen. His eyes widened. Maybe he was getting more than he could handle here. But he wanted everything nonetheless.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him, “the day did not end with me screwing ‘Kurt’ behind the tilt-a-whirl.”

Much to his chagrin, Owen breathed a sigh of relief.

“In fact,” she added, “After the milkshake, he was gone. And that was part of the magic of it all. Just moving from one high to the next. Without effort, without trying.

“Michelle kept nagging me about needing to be home by dark, so we made our way back to the highway and caught another ride. We rode in the back of a pick-up again, only this time we were lying in the bed, looking up at the sky. Michelle pointed out the first star and told me to make a wish. But in that moment, I had nothing to wish for. So instead I squeezed her hand and told her thanks for an amazing day. She moved her head against mine and squeezed my hand back in the twilight. And then she told me her aunt was going to kill us.”

Amelia smiled. And Owen’s heart melted into the mountain.

“Only she didn’t kill you,” he noted.

“No. We told her there was a double feature that we just couldn’t resist, and she was forgiving. It was the perfect day,” Amelia concluded.

Owen silently agreed. It was perfect. She was perfect. Perfectly flawed. And he loved it. Every bit of it.

She could feel it as he looked at her. So she tried to distract him again.

“Your turn now,” she insisted, “Tell me about your favorite day.”

His eyes were on her for a long time. And then he began…

“My favorite day happened here in Seattle. I had a lot of great days growing up here, but I’ll tell you about the one I wouldn’t change. I woke up that day to the sun high in the sky. The forecast called for rain, but there were no clouds in sight. The day was full of possibilities – but it felt good to not have to hurry off to them. It felt great to just lie in bed and dream about them.”

Amelia felt great just picturing Owen lying in bed, dreaming. She loved this.

He offered more, “The phone rang, and I was surprised to hear a girl’s voice when I picked up. Only not just any girl. It was a girl I’d had a crush on for a long time. She asked me what I was doing and if I wanted to hang out. I pinched my arm. Just to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming.”

All of a sudden, Amelia wasn’t loving this quite so much anymore. Young Owen crushing on other girls wasn’t part of her dreams.  But he was patient with her story about ‘Kurt,’ and she could offer him the same.

“I picked her up in my car,” he continued, “And we drove through the city. I wanted to take her someplace special, but I didn’t want to tell her that. I wanted to experience the day with her and not scare her off or change her mind about spending time with me.

“We parked the car and started walking. I had led her there, but then I just followed her to where I knew our path would take us. There was a butterfly following her too. It was pale blue, the exact color as her eyes. But I’m not sure if she saw it.”

Awareness crept over Amelia, and her heartbeat seeped into her skin. “Maybe she saw it too,” she said breathlessly.

“Perhaps,” Owen smiled.

“What happened next?” Amelia encouraged.

“We sat together a long time, just her and me and the mountain. Telling our stories. We had the most beautiful view in Seattle, only I couldn’t stop looking at her.

Amelia’s heart was crazy now. “And how did the day end?” she asked.

Owen paused a long time before he answered, “I told her - I love her.”

Amelia’s voice was barely audible now, “And how did she respond?”

“She hasn’t yet,” he said gently, “But I’ll keep you posted.”

The wind blew through Amelia and it held her soul. She was high. As high as she’d ever been. Feelings this strong just had to be named. To not name them was to deny their existence. And there was no denying this.

“She loves you too,” she whispered with the wind.

Owen could breathe again. He breathed in her words and they filled him up. He reached out through the lupine, through poetry, and took her hand in his.

Amelia felt like she was moving toward something huge and great, like how her life could be if she imagined hard enough. And then all at once, everything seemed possible.

anonymous asked:

how courferre met + how they got together?

Oh man, anon, this is so broad, where do I even begin?  The possibilities are endless.

  1. One of my favourites will always Enjolras, Courfeyrac, and Combeferre growing up together.  Courfeyrac and Combeferre meeting on the first day of kindergarten when Combeferre is one of the kids who’s anxious and upset because he’s never really been away from his mother or father or sisters before and now he’s in this big room with strange things and where he doesn’t know anyone.  So when all the other kids are exploring the new toys, Combeferre’s kind of tucked himself away with some blocks.  And then this boisterous kid bounds over and plops himself down right next to Combeferre (so close he’s almost sitting on him because Courfeyrac has never understood the concept of personal space) and introduces himself as Hello I’m Courfeyrac I’m five years old and I can speak Spanish – can you?  No, that’s okay – and if you like you can come play dinosaurs with me there’s plastic ones over in that tub and they’re really cool but I get to be the long-neck. And Combeferre just blinks at Courfeyrac and looks at the blocks in his hands, and feels really shy so he says uncertainly “…I was going to build a space ship…”  Undeterred Courfeyrac says “Alright!  I’ll bring the dinosaurs over and we can make a space ship for them to fly in.”  He brings back a bunch of dinosaurs, plus a blonde boy who’d started playing with them in Courfeyrac’s absence, and the three of them become inseparable.  How Courf and Ferre got together?  Literally took the next 13+ years because at that point they’re so intertwined that they can’t even see that they’re friendship has really just been friendship since they were about fourteen.  Enjolras had the pleasure of watching all of this with increasing exasperation because it was so painfully obvious but no matter how many impatient hints he dropped it took until prom for them to get a clue. (They were both so jealous over the thought of the other going with someone else that they had to do something.  That something ended with them making out in the school parking lot, as witnessed by a positively horrified Enjolras.)
  2. Or they could meet in a university lecture, when the teacher mentions some social issue in passing but damn did Courfeyrac notice it and he notices that the prof is a hundred percent disgustingly wrong so up shoots his hand.  The next five minutes is him and the prof arguing back and forth on the issue, Courfeyrac getting more and more frustrated because he knows he’s right, he just can’t get the words out right.  And then the cute boy in glasses who was sitting next to him stands up, says five words which perfectly summarize Courfeyrac’s argument and completely shut down the prof.  Never has Courfeyrac seen a greater burn and there may or may not be scattered applause when he and Bespectacled Savoir sit down.  Afterwards Courfeyrac is sure to ask his knight in baggy sweaters out for drinks.  After Combeferre eventually invites Courfeyrac to this activist group that he and his best friend formed Courfeyrac knows he’s gone on this boy.  And after Combeferre goes on an excited, hour long rant about the possibilities of solar power to him at three in the morning months later Courfeyrac realizes he’s a 100%, completely in love with this boy. And after Courfeyrac interrupts the rant by kissing him and Combeferre kisses him back and they finally fall into bed together he realizes that yeah, this is gonna be a good thing.
  3. Or how about one where they meet online and originally it starts with them nerding out together over Star Trek but soon their friendship spreads.  They talk about other fandoms, about classwork, about friends, about shit that’s happening in the news (do they ever talk about that, both of them get fired up when it comes to social issues).  And it spreads not only to different subjects but across more and more social media sites and various parts of each other’s lives; they’re constantly sending messages back and forth on Twitter, or tagging reblogs for each other on Tumblr, or texting (though never Snapchat, no selfies, nothing that would reveal who they are, there’s something… special about the anonymity that both are a little scared to break).  But then one day Courfeyrac gets a text from Combeferre in the middle of class that reads “I’m in literally the most boring English class right now please save me.”  And Courf grins and texts back under his desk, “Dude, me too!? Seriously, there’s no way in hell yours is more boring than mine, mine is being taught by an actual dinosaur.”  In response he gets: “Dinosaurs are fascinating, I’ll have you know.  Mine’s droning on like Professor Binns from Harry Potter.  I’m so bored I’ve been counting the freckles on the back of the neck of the guy who sits in front of me.  I’m at 47, he has a lot.”  And Courfeyrac rubs the back of his neck self-consciously then, wondering what Combeferre would think of his freckles and texts him back… only to realize then that as soon as he hits send the phone that belongs to the guy sitting behind him vibrates and he sort of chuckles.  So Courfeyrac turns to look at the nerdy guy that he’s never really thought about before and realizes… that he doesn’t know the kid’s last name because how often do teacher’s actually call anyone by their last name, really?  The first day of class, if even?  So he asks potentially the weirdest question he’s ever asked an almost perfect stranger: “Have you been counting my freckles?”  And the guy behind him gawks and then flushes bright red and let’s his head drop onto his desk.  “Oh no, you’re Courfeyrac, aren’t you?” They’re sent to the hall for bursting out laughing in the middle of class.  
  4. Or how about them as a queerplatonic couple where they meet at a really disappointing LGBT+ event?  Where Combeferre was sat in a corner of the bar with his drink and his ereader because he’ll be damned if he goes to try to interact with them again but he’s also not going to be scared away until he’s finished his damn drink, thank you very much.  And then Courfeyrac ambles up with his drink and starts chatting with him, asking him why he’s all the way over here, to which Combeferre responds “Apparently asexual isn’t queer enough for certain people in here.  I always forget that when a person isn’t actively fucking the same gender they become heterosexual.”  And Courfeyrac just howls with laughter because thank god someone gets it, he’s been picking fights all evening because there are people in here that think that calling yourself a bisexual aromantic makes you a ~special snowflake~.  So they end up leaving and going to talk more and basically become best friends over night.  They’re not sure what to call their relationship over the next couple years because it’s not friends but Courfeyrac doesn’t do boyfriends and Combeferre doesn’t do friends with benefits but this is a commitment, this is a for life thing and they just sort of stumble across the idea of queerplatonic partners and they both know immediately that that’s what they are.
  5. Or maybe you’d prefer a high school au where Courfeyrac is genuinely, unspeakably awful at math.  He hates it and it hates him.  He once threw his math homework into the fireplace when he was thirteen.  Math retaliated by adding letters.  It’s an ongoing battle.  So he gets a tutor, another student his age named Combeferre.  Courfeyrac introduces himself and cheerfully warns the boy “Just so you know, I’ll probably hate you by the end of this” and Combeferre calmly promises that he’s tutored plenty of people in math and he’s use to it.  Sure enough, half way through the first lesson Courfeyrac closes his book, thanks Combeferre for his time, and cheerfully informs him that he does, indeed, hate him, before walking out.  Courf still goes back next week though, and this time last the entire time, but still ends it by informing Combeferre that he hates him and everything he stands for.  This continues and after every single lesson (and possibly a couple times throughout depending on the unit) Courfeyac happily informs Combeferre that he hates him. Neither are quite sure when “I hate you” started to achingly, painfully mean “I love you” but Combeferre understands that too apparently because the rest of that lesson is spent making out in the far corner of the library.
All Ages: The Limit Does Not Exist

by Jessica Perry

I grew up in New Jersey — a state with undeniable musical history. Beyond Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi, this oft-insulted landmass has acted as a cross-generational beacon of punk and hardcore glory. Perhaps it’s our shitty reputation of oil tankers, strip malls, and fist pumping. Maybe it’s the less-talked-about countrysides, farmlands, and oceanfronts. But something about this place makes it rife with songwriting opportunities aligned with values and themes typically celebrated within this music scene — loving your town, hating your town, loving your friends, hating your friends, having your heart broken, going to diners. That’s what resonated with me and what resonates with many misguided suburban teenagers.

Right now, I sit in a coffee shop in New Brunswick — a small college town from where pioneers and torch-bearers hailed — Lifetime, Thursday, Bouncing Souls, You and I, Midtown, The Gaslight Anthem, Screaming Females. Travel up US–1 and you’ll run into Newark, hometown of My Chemical Romance. Down US–1 South, you’ll hit Princeton, the hometown of my favorite band — Saves The Day. Even now, nearly 30 years old, I drive around here with giddiness as the history of the bands and scene I love surround me. Being a teenager here in the 2000s was really exciting, and it made being a music fan easy, fun, romantic, accessible.

It also made growing up and out of it harder. And I can’t say I have, will, or even want to.

I will be 30 in October — a senior citizen by Zack’s standards, and approximately eight years beyond the age where recent college graduates tout that they’re “too old” – for shows, for “the pit,” for staying out late. Punk, emo, or whatever restrictive adjectives you want to assign to my taste have steered my life’s course since I was 13. My hobbies, my friendships, my passions, my (failed) relationships, my humor, my place of residence — direct results of picking up blink–182 and MxPx records sometime in the late 90s and never really putting them down.

Honestly, I’ve been struggling with the inevitability of the first digit of my age odometer flipping from two to three. I’m worried about people I consider(ed?) peers ostracizing me for being “too old.” I’m worried about retreating because I assume people will feel that way. I’m worried that “normal” adults, whatever that means, will snicker and tell me to get a “real hobby.” I’m worried that I’ll look back when I’m 35 and wonder why the fuck I spent 20 years doing whatever this is. I’m often confronted with the tension caused by feeling like I should be feeling nostalgic and the reality that nostalgia requires one to detach his/herself from present-day enjoyment.

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