thanks kirbs

Publicly Acknowledging Your Wrongdoings: The Kirbopher 2016 Edition

I met Chris Niosi over the internet in 2004. That is, as of 2016, twelve years ago for those who are counting. In 2005 I attended Otakon in Baltimore, Maryland, and got to meet Niosi in person, as well as abusive pedophile Bryon Beaubien, the living cupcake Christina Warren, and several others. Between 2004 and 2008 I had near-daily experiences with Chris Niosi through Skype calls that lasted hours upon hours. Many of our conversations are documented in the audio podcast ‘Wha-Chow’. Did you know that back in those days, you could only have around 4-5 people in a Skype call before the program wouldn’t allow any more to join? It was Chris Niosi, to my knowledge, who found out a way to hack an unlimited number of people in.

What I’m getting at is that I’ve known Kirbopher for a good long while, and I am well versed in Chris Niosi circa 2005-2010. 

The Fallout Shelter forums were where I met a lot of people back then, and among the masses Kirbopher was a star. His original run of TOME was a huge hit on he site due to Kirb’s constant inclusion of well known forum goers as guest stars or voice actors. It was a good way to earn a following and I’ll admit, the pull was strong when you were 18 and first starting to make friends online as I was. I entered a fanart contest and had my character appear in a tournament. I got to voice one of the characters. All fun and games.

Then Fireball20xl happened. The Wha-Chows happened. And suddenly every day there was a Skype call with Kirb and I began to KNOW Kirb. I saw inside his life, his mind, and I began to understand.

The people that the ‘Kirb Defenders’ have been attacking and harassing have all been right, and all these victims and witnesses of character have a RIGHT to speak up and warn others, especially if it could bring closure. If I chime in I HOPE it makes a lick of difference but there’s a reason that the saying ‘Don’t Meet Your Heroes’ exists, kids. What you see of Chris Niosi online is the tip of the iceberg that he WANTS you to see. You are only privy to the 1% that Niosi has full control of.

You will never meet someone more self-absorbed and selfish as Chris Niosi. 

It’s the long and short of it. The bagel story, the constant abuse he engaged in of various people, the horrifying petty and disgusting actions? That’s who Chris Niosi is. That’s the other 99%. A screamy, self absorbed ass who used his Aspergers as an excuse to act out while condemning those who also had autism. A jerkoff whose sole purpose in life is to get ahead.

Don’t get me wrong, with his PR stunts and his word warping he’s VERY good at putting on a mask for the public. He WAS Psyguy’s ‘best friend’ for the longest time, thus he was able to learn from the best. (Granted every day was spent with both Psy and Kirb shit talking each other to ME PERSONALLY, but I digress. The two of them fed off of each other for attention constantly). I remember he’d corner every guest star Psy had on Wha-Chow in order to coerce them into doing a voice he’d shoe-horn into his animations. Then Kirb would go and EDIT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES to include HIS work on other people’s articles (Don’t think I didn’t notice you putting your name into JonTron’s Wiki page, Kirb. You little leech you). Each step Kirb takes is to step on one person to get into the spotlight of someone higher up. 

Kirb has an interesting backstory where his education is concerned. Kirb entered college alongside four other young gentlemen, all of them going to college for art in one way or another. All of them graduated and one by one they all traveled out West save for Kirb who was the LAST to go because out of all of them, only ONE person had in no way improved despite many years of art college and that was Kirb. He went into it thinking that his style was perfect and he left, all on his parents dime, without having improved in the slightest.

(Oh, and I have to mention that it was on his parents dime because they DID pay for his tuition (along with everything else he’s ever wanted in life) during that time, because Kirb was asking people to help FUND his college efforts (the efforts he put no effort into). This spawned the joke in Spazzkid’s Street Fighter Chode of Kirb screaming “Pay for my college”.)

What is interesting is that these four gentlemen I spoke of all DESPISE Kirb. He’s been a black spot in their lives and a leech off their success and talents for god knows how long. One of them in particular found love in New York with a girl that Kirb was fancying and the two artists moved west and Kirb lost his damn MIND over this girl falling for his friend and rejecting him. When it came to Kirb and women, he would stop at nothing to invade every aspect of a girl’s life, stalking them and obsessing over them. I saw it with this girl, I saw it with Liz, and I saw it with tumblr user Audioerf who I remember would come into calls with complete strangers (such as me) just to hide from Kirb.

Despite these artists HATING Kirb’s guts they have always been lax on speaking out against him, as if KNOWING Kirb in person somehow gave them reason to clam up. Really, they have the bigger voices than most since they experienced Kirb’s nonsense firsthand for YEARS in college and beyond. It’s not like it would be a damning move in their animation industry to openly criticize someone like Kirb who already blacklists HIMSELF from every major studio thanks to how self centered he is. There’s very little talk I see going around about the Deviantart page dedicated to venting about Niosi’s constant bullshit in school. I see very little talk about the Niosi puppet. It exists, somewhere, a monument to mock Niosi for being such an asshole.

Kirb being a self centered and boisterous asshat has been a public thing for ages. Newgrounds was Kirb’s home for the longest time, and even THERE he earned the hatred of a very famous GRUMPY person who Kirb leeched off of for years. Who remembers the ‘Brawl Taunts’ days back on Newgrounds? Where, utilizing Rina-Chan’s horrible voice acting and garbage writing paired with Kirb’s garbage animation skills, the dynamic duo shat out video after video that constantly made the front page of Newgrounds? Tom Fulp was basically held hostage by the views that the videos garnered despite their awful quality. That, coupled with Kirb’s TOME episodes and the god awful Parody Rangers episodes getting tons of traffic thanks to Fireball20xl, Kirb was a big name on Newgrounds and his bolstering and public jerking that he engaged in earned him the ire of basically every major Newgrounds animator at the time. (Kirb would later on try to claim that he didn’t enjoy making Brawl Taunts but he certainly made THREE of them and suckled that sweet teat of popularity the whole time without a complaint).

In fact, I went and checked before writing this. Go to Newgrounds. Look up Brawl Funnies. A large group of animators got together to mock how awful Brawl Taunts was and to shit all over how much of a shitter Kirbopher is. The scene that sums up EXACTLY who Kirbopher is not exemplified better than Kirb in a hot air balloon, dumping bags of self-respect out of the basket in order to reach a cloud that says ‘popularity’. 

Listen. I understand people wanting to stand up for their heores, and if you like TOME, well then you’re free to like what you want in life. But don’t…..don’t sit there and assume that just because you LIKE this one thing that the creator can’t be a raging douchebag on top of it. You DON’T know the guy. You can’t make that type of judgement logically. And thus you have no right to try and jump down the throats of those who HAVE had the balls to speak out.

You think that Kirb owning up publicly to what he’s done, FOR ONCE validating the claims of abuse that people have kept receipts of over the years, FINALLY dropping the facade and admitting that he’s done some pretty fucked up things and treated people badly….you think that him owning up publicly to that is going to make things WORSE? That’s SQUARE ONE of how things start to get BETTER.

I was a part of Kirb’s friend group. I was a yes-man to Bryon Beaubien just like Kirb was. I watched ten girls in two years get abused, shat on, and I did and said nothing that would have stopped it. I even flirted with a girl several years my minor during and after Psy had been courting her. I said crude things, THOUGHT in a toxic way that was not even my own. I was a huge asshole and I was guilty by association and guilty thanks to inaction, just like Kirb.

But I owned up to it.

I PUT myself out there for ridicule, so that the poor girl who I wasn’t even AWARE I had hurt could hopefully find some closure. So that the brave person who called me out publicly could have the satisfaction of knowing that I took responsibility and did what I could to make things right. So that I could try and make a difference for the people I had witnessed get abused.

I witnessed Kirb mock these women in his flash cartoons. I witnessed Kirb mock these girls in Skype calls. I witnessed Kirb obsess and foam at the mouth over women he was stalking. I witnessed Kirb make a mad grab at fame no matter the cost over and over and over again. Nothing makes me more furious than knowing that Kirb looked these victims in the eyes and called what he KNEW had happened to them ‘Gossip’, all to cover his tail, just for him to turn around and take the high road in a vague and non-confessional manner weeks later when the creator of Clarence was called out for sexual abuse because he knew it would make him seem more popular.

Nothing is as far greater an insult to me than for me to extend my hand to him to have us both stand tall and open ourselves up about the sordid hands we played in such abuse only to have him turn his back on me, his deeds, and the people he had hurt. 

I did my best to change my outlook on life and change myself so I could be a better person to my then-girlfriend. Now we’ve been married for over two years here in 2016. Kirb has never changed, not in twelve years. I called him out back in 2014 but it seems that it needs to be said again. There is nothing stopping you from trying to become a better person. When you are as a guilty of so many shitty things as Niosi is, I know that it seems daunting to even make an ATTEMPT. But that’s the first step, and the first step is ALWAYS the hardest. Change who you are. Admit to your transgressions, ACKNOWLEDGE your victims of abuse, own up to your bad behavior, and DO something about it.

It’s far better to face consequences than it is to live as a guilty coward.

I cannot remember who it was (and I apologize for forgetting) who made the post saying ‘Name ONE Thing Kirbopher has done that wasn’t for himself that wasn’t a PR stunt’, but oh my god. You’re absolutely right. Kirb has NEVER done anything that didn’t further his own social goals. If you “Can’t Accept” that this Chris Niosi is the TRUE Chris Niosi, then I’m sorry for how short sighted you are. I implore you to go seek out Brawl Funnies and do your own digging. Listen to old Wha-Chows where Kirb HAD to dominate every conversation and make it about him or else he’d get angry and snappy and begin insulting others or cutting them off. Actually READ what the other people who have stepped forward have to say. It’s all there. If Kirb is still a raging and unapologetic douche then I simply wish that, if he won’t change, hopefully those who blindly follow him will. 

SERIOUSLY. It’s okay to like someone’s work and still acknowledge that the creator is NOT a good person. Skyler Page sexually abused a female coworker and was kicked off Clarence, his own show, but people still watch it and sometimes even enjoy it. I adore Ren & Stimpy and it is public knowledge that John K, it’s creator, is a huge asshole. HECK, I enjoy the artwork of Andrew Dickman and he’s a sexually abusive rage monster. Will I publicly endorse the artwork from this writhing waste of space through likes and reblogs? No, he does not that deserve that. But I can still enjoy, from time to time, a piece of artwork that he creates. 

So if you love TOME, I IMPLORE you to distinguish the person from the product. I get that TOME can be something someone might like. I myself enjoyed it back in the day ten years ago. But do not throw yourself against the rocks to defend someone you know nothing about. NEVER do that. The victims that speak out are not at fault, only Kirb is. And even then, don’t let Niosi being a huge assface turn you away from something you enjoy. If him being a waste of oxygen is enough to make you give up TOME then so be it, but the victims here aren’t ASKING for you to give up TOME. They’re not asking anything. They simply want people to be informed. 

If you need any base proof of Kirb’s true character, note how he’s not at all called for his fans to NOT attack those who have come forward and how he’s not condemned the actions of those who have gone after these victims. But he SURE WILL take time to speak to the ‘little people’ that he normally ignores when they pop up to dump praise on him.

As for those who DO hate Kirb who have known him the most intimate through school and such, I DO hope you can find it in you to at least…be more public about Niosi. You know better than anyone else how much of an unapologetic leech he is. If he can’t bring himself to change, you have every bit of power in you to help get him blacklisted further and further. I know that, sometimes in the animation industry, shit talking someone can lead to you having trouble getting employed but in this instance, with Kirb, I don’t think you’ll lose ANY face. You’re only adding more testimonies to the pile. You would do far less harm than good. Your voice is important when people who share your opinion on how shitty Kirb is come under attack for that very opinion.