thank you insects

anonymous asked:

what if jon arbukle is trans ?

There’s no possibility of Jon Arbuckle being trans, anon, because Jon Arbuckle is the combined force of 5000 demonic cockroaches who have gathered their power together to create a false human form and demonic cockroaches are neither assigned a gender at birth that they can identify away from OR known to adhere to our human concept of gender even if they do happen to look like us in the present moment anyway.

Also while Jon Arbuckle is not trans I’m like 99.9% sure Garfield is nonbinary so this entire question is insulting to him, anon. Snakes are physically manifesting inside my house, this ask has personally burned my crops and salted my fields, etc etc etc.

So, we don’t kill spiders in this household, we either leave them alone or escort them out to the front field where they can be free and happy. A few have made webs in set places (like George in the bathroom, who guards our toilet paper, and Bethany, descendant of Beth, who has a tiny web above my bed). I like my spiders.

Tonight, I’m lying here trying to write a damn story, and there’s this FLY buzzing around my room in the dark, blundering into everything and generally being an obnoxious little shit, every once in a while finding my screen just to be extra intrusive. Then suddenly it stops, and I just hear buzzing in one place. over and over.

I turned my light on and sure as shit, Bethany had it in her web and was working her hardest to silence my foe.

Good job Bethany. Thank you.

Watching Knock Knock for the first time

Oh boy… *End of Time flashbacks* yes I am having a lot of flashbacks recently, but let’s hope this episode isn’t related to the infamous four knocks in any way

(Also I kept getting typos and writing “Kock kock” and that sounds so wrong in my opinion)

(The German title is “Klopf Klopf” and that sounds pretty funny too)

SPOILER ALERT!

-Tbh I’d love to live at any of those places

-DON’T TRUST THE GUY, MY MOVIE INSTINCTS ARE TELLING ME TO NOT TRUST THE GUY

-Ah yes, thunderstorms around an old building, totally not a scary movei cliche

-People still listen to LP records?

-That turned into a dubstep remix for a short moment

-Yay, it’s Bill’s theme.

-I love Bill’s theme. It’s relaxing but not slow, and merry, and adventurous…

-SHE’S USING THE TARDIS AS BAGGAGE TRANSPORT

-”Unless we’ve regenerated, or had a big lunch…”
 Rose: “Doctor, Doctor, wake up, please, we need you!”
 Ten: “mmmmfrrghf I ate too much”

-”Regenerated?”
 Twelve: *Vietnam flashbacks*

-The subtitles said ‘draughty’ when I heard ‘drafty’; I looked it up and apparently the latter’s usually the American way of spelling.

I remember him doing that before in another reincarnation, just not sure when.

-”He’s… my… granddad…”
 omfg Bill’s embarrased, I feel like Twelve would be offended but why do I find this so funny

-”I don’t look old enough to–”
 Well maybe you’re not that old by Time Lord standards but tbh you’re over 2000, you said so yourself

1. That face.
2. That moment when someone doesn’t high-five you back.
3. Apparently Bill’s told everyone about the Doctor, or maybe they’re just all in his class.

-”Oh, come on, father, at least, please.”
 “Oh alright, grandfather.”
 PFFFFT

-He is so gonna come back here later

-”Mine went greypacking on the Great Wall of China with his boyfriend, but they got arrested for trying to steal a bit.”
 That sentence sure is a wild ride.

-”Says it gETs HIM in the zOOOne.”

-”Yeah, I wish. Can’t find a way in.”
 Climb up the wall lol

-What kind of accent is this? Scottish? Northern?

IMMA THE FRESHEST FRESHY BOI THE EIGHTIES EVAH GAVE BIRTH TO YA DAWGS

:’D

-”You proud?”

 “Thanks.”
 D’aaaaaaawwww

-”There’s no living puddles or weird robots, big fish… It’s just a new house. And people you don’t know. Not scary at all.”

-BEWARE OF THE LANDLORD

-I have a bad feeling about what will happen to Bill’s mother’s picture

That makes a lot of sense though.

-I’m not saying bad reception will guarantee a mishap, but when it does happen you won’t be able to contact emergency numbers and call for help. That sounds bad.

-”Landline? What is this, Scotland?”
 You sure are lucky the Doctor ain’t here

-ooooOOOOOOHhhHHHHhhH

-”Or maybe a massive, freaky spider.”
 I’d prefer that much, much more to a cursed doll.

-And of course they HAVE to mess with the Asian just kidding JUST KIDDING I made fun of my math class friends with a paper cockroach once

-Even my teacher jumped

-But back to the episode.

-WHOP definitely not a mouse

-Why don’t you ALL go and check

-Yay, at least they’re sticking together.

HA  told you he’d come back to investigate

-”Very interesting, lots of wood.”
 And the Sonic Screwdriver doesn’t work on wood.

-”For a man such as myself, discretion is second nature.”
 If by discretion you mean sneaking up on people and scaring the shit out of everyone

-I’m getting some Dracula vibes here

-Funny, I just looked up the actor and he played Van Helsing in a 2006 BBC adaptation of Dracula.

Thing is, he actually did that, in the past he WAS (and maybe still is) someone’s grandfather. He had to let Susan go.

The subtitles make everything better, 10/10

-I’m wearing headphones and that ASMR certainly was uncalled for

-”How do you get into the tower?”
 “You don’t.”
 (what he meant: if i ever catch one of your sorry little asses running into that fucking tower i will catch you and i will burn you fucking shitless you little shit nugget)

HARRIET JONES *flashbacking intensifies*

-He doesn’t know who the current Prime Minister is, VAMPIRE (OR SOME SORT OF OUTDATED SUPERNATURAL BEING OR ALIEN ALTHOUGH I’M LEANING TOWARDS ALIEN SINCE IT’S DOCTOR WHO) CONFIRMED

-”I take it back. you’re fine. He’s weird.”
Of course the Doctor’s fine
I mean he saves people, nothing else, haha

-DON’T GO UPSTAIRS

Yay!

-I’m about as happy as that girl there right now

-BILL TASTE IN MUSIC OMFG

look at the pouting owl

-”You’re not leaving, are you?”
 “No.”

-”We need to have a talk about your taste in music.”

-”Oh, this FREAKY SCOOBY DOO HOUSE!”

Boy who cried wolf and all, but I still think you should be concerned

-STOP KNOCKING

-*the Master is triggered from a whole another dimension*

You’ve had quite the crazy life, Doctor…

-I wonder if any of his students are making conspiracy theories, or just theories in general, about all the weird stuff he says, or does everyone pass it off as a joke?

-So did Felicity make it out or

-OH SHIT

-”I’m scared.”
 “Don’t be.”
 “Why not?”
 “It doesn’t help.”

WTF?!?!???

-Kinda reminds me of the ancient pirates stuck inside Davy Jone’s ship in PotC

-Also reminds me of that Steven Universe episode ‘Horror Club’. Although in that case it was a Gem Monster embedded in the building or something similar…

-Lemme guess, the house is alive?

-So was the music sort of Pavel’s connection to life

-”He’s released”

-RELEASED MY ASS
 IS YOUR HOUSE MADE UP OF DEAD PEOPLE
 YOU’RE FEEDING PEOPLE TO THE HOUSE AREN’T YOU

-PUSH THE BOOKCASE BILL

That was… unexpectedly cute.

Okay, slightly less cute, no offense but from afar you lot do look like cockroaches.

-”It’s not a cupboard!”
 When did he figure that out?

-”You’ve gone crazy.”
 ”Well I can’t just call them lice, can I?”

Now I’m getting Crimson Horror (Doctor Who series 7) vibes as well

-Y’know, with the crazy woman that blinded and locked up her daughter…

-Nice. Photo evidence.

HIDE!

-”Good.”
 Not what I wanted but eh I trust your judgment

Showcasing one of the trick staircases of Hogwarts

hOLY SHIT?? HE’S BEING EATEN ALIVE??!?

I feel like some character advancement has happened in the last couple of seasons, I mean, I’m not the best at figuring out personalities but I feel (again) like, say, Twelve from Series 8 would be getting really mad by now.

-”I haven’t had visitors in such a long time. My name is-”
 GROOT
 “-Eliza.”
 Oh.

I AM GROOT

-Look at me, making Groot jokes when a character just died onscreen.

-”Why would he pick up insects in the garden and bring them in to see his ill daughter?”
 Well I know I would.
 “Everyone loves insects.”
 Thank you.

-Well apart from mosquitoes, I’d still rather keep my blood and not get an itch, thank  you very much.

He ended up calling them lice after all.

WELL I WAS EXPECTING A PLOT TWIST (thanks to some Tumblr posts) BUT NOT LIKE THIS

-THAT’S A FRESH LEHH OF A TWIST

-I MEAN HALL

-I MEAN HELL

-I APPRECIATE IT BUT

-I uh

-*crouches quietly in the corner* what about the bugs

Eliza the Licebender

-Why are there fireworks?

-Oh.

And another trauma to be added to Bill’s collection!

-YAY BILL’S FRIENDS GET TO LIVE!

Take-outs! He got take-outs!

-WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING FUR ELISE

-WHO THE FUCK’S BEHIND THAT DOOR

-THERE’S GALLIFREYAN INSCRIPTIONS ON THE DOOR

-Ah, Pop Goes The Weasel. *fnaf memories* (yeah I know Scott didn’t make the song)

-It’s not really like the Doctor to keep someone locked up, and I’m seeing parallels between the old man in this episode and him… Too early?

-Soooooooo when are we gonna get to the Doctor’s suspicious basement…
 Lemme guess… the season finale?

-SHIT THE NEXT EPISODE LOOKS SCARY TOO

-WHAT IS THIS, A HORROR FEST?

Mr. Trump,

My father “knew what he signed up for” when he joined the military. He knew to serve his country with all he had. He’s taken care of our family for so many years, only 2/3 of which I’ve had the pleasure of appreciating.

Sgt. La David T. Johnson knew he signed up for the same. But he did NOT sign up to die. Nobody does. What your ignorant, bigoted, hate-spewing head believes is that all men are created to work and die for you. You are wrong, and your words toward Johnson’s family were heinous and hurtful.

He will stay in my mind and heart forever.

Thanks, you insect.