do you believe that with enough self awareness and practice that an abusive person can change for the better? i want to believe it. not for my sake but the whole world's but i'm so scared to let myself believe it... sorry if you've answered this before :/
i love you, please don’t apologize !! i think this is a very important question, and im really like ?? touched you asked me this… im honestly just some dude with a blog, so my opinion really means nothing… but !! i’ll try to answer this the best way i can !!
i think i have a lot of faith in humanity, and our ability to keep changing for the better. so, i do believe that abusers can change and build healthy relationships. however, i also believe that under no circumstance should the abuser be excused for their past behavior.
no matter how much an abuser changes, the effects that they left will always be there, and you cannot ignore those effects just because they won’t happen again.
it is difficult to change who you are, but if someone tries hard to eliminate the maladaptive qualities they have and tries to substitute it with healthy behaviors, i am really proud of them, as a human. but, i think part of me will always hold them accountable for being abusive in the first place.
abuse is a choice. being abusive is a choice. choosing to belittle and undermine those you claim to love is a choice. and honestly? i can never forgive someone who could make such a devastating choice.
i hope this makes sense !! please, take care !!