thank you for my child hood

reasons why calum would be the best daddy ever:

-looking at the baby bundled up in his arms before glancing at you and whispering in an awestruck voice “we made this”
-emailing drop dead to ask them if their clothing comes in children’s sizes
-accidentally drinking the baby formula because he thought it was a protein shake
-taking your child to the dog shelter every weekend because “babe, if we’re gonna get one this is good practice”
-letting your child colour in his tattoos whilst he’s just sitting and giggling slightly because “what? it tickles”
-walking in on you breastfeeding and pouting because he claims that “its not fair, i never get boob time anymore :-(”
-poking the baby’s cheeks and laughing at how your child is so squishy, yet he rolls his eyes whenever you do the same thing to him
-”babe, look, look, a green day onesie!”
-the baby would probably fall asleep on his chest and calum would just rub soothing circles into their back until he followed suit
-”no, trust me, the guitar is overrated, don’t pay attention to uncle luke. bass is way better bub, i swear. no listen–”
-dressing your child up as a puppy for their first halloween
-dropping the baby bottle and going “fuck–no wait i’m not allowed to swear anymore, shit–no, fuck i meant–”
-teaching your child how to play soccer and letting them score on him all the time
-”your mummy is so pretty, isn’t she bub?” “you’re still not getting laid tonight”
-”aunt mali’s gonna take you out for ice cream, okay? that way me and mummy can have some alone time”
-
insisting that his kid is way better than uncle michael’s kid
-”for fuck’s sake ashton, yes my child is getting all the nutrition they need, thank you very much”

michael  ashton  luke

dyed hair

week 1:  my dandruff is blue. my ears are blue. the hood of my hoodie is supposed to be gray but it’s blue. I’m an eiffel 65 song. My sink is probably stained…

Week 2: ah yes, this is the colour I ACTUALLY wanted, thank u. every child i pass gasps and whispers “blue”.

week 3: it is too much effort to straighten this shit every day just to show off my long blue hair…. pony tail forever now. 

week 4: “omg i can see your roots starting!!!! are you gunna redye it??” “f U CK YO U”

Week 5: my roots are an inch long. I shoot dirty glares at coworkers as they open their mouth to comment. My hair remains the correct colour except for that inch of brown.

Week 6: I stand alone in Sally’s Beauty Supply. There is a box of dye in my hands for purchase, but my wallet is empty. Did I really need that hot chocolate last week? An inch isn’t so bad….

Week 7: Regret as I spend 8 hours dying my hair and sleep with a plastic bag on my head. But at last, the Brown Hair Is Gone.
Rinse, Repeat. 

fetchmethatpitcher  asked:

I'm terrible at emojis but I'm requesting a story from your childhood and a random fact about yourself!

Lyyyssss!! Thanks friend.😄

A story from my child hood:
So when I was like four, and I really do remember this, My dad had just finished mowing the lawn, and I was playing outside. As he went in he said “Hey Matthew make sure you don’t touch the muffler on that mower it’s very hot, it’ll burn your hand.” Well I was concerned that may grandpa who was sitting nearby may not have gotten the important message too, so I brought him over and said “Hey Grandpa, the muffler is very hot so make sure you don’t touch it like this.” Visual demonstrations help some people learn better you know. For some reason the muffler had this like mesh across it, and I had this awesome circular grid pattern burned into my hand, and I got to go to the ER! What an adventure. Also I feel like I know how that evil bastard feels when he grabs that amulet at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

A random fact about me: I am currently watching The Iron Giant.

Red - Chapter 18 - Cruel Disguise

Art by the amazing starscythe <3

What if Robin Hood hadn’t been able to save his wife when she caught a deadly disease while carrying his child? What if the Evil Queen had summoned him instead of the Huntsman to hunt down Snow White?

Outlaw Queen / AU Enchanted Forest / Angst, Drama, Romance / Rated M

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 Chapter 18

I’m so sorry for taking so long to update! My life is absolutely crazy right now. 

A very special thank you to @thisisamadhouse and @onhowtobecrazy who read this through for me and told me it was not awful. Thank you darlings! This is not beta-ed, so sorry in advance. 

 

Regina did not know what had woken her. 

She was used to waking up suddenly, gasping for air, soaked in sweat with her heart beating erratically, and sometimes even screaming out, due to the more than usual nightmares that haunted her. 

But this time, her eyes did not snap open and her senses did not hit her all at once. 

One moment Regina was enwrapped in peaceful slumber, buzzing energy travelled about her body, and her heart, for once, was at ease. She moved a little, and slowly became more and more aware of the fact that what she was laying upon was not her mattress. Her mattress did not breathe, or snore

Regina took a deep breath – taking in the scent of pinewood and sweat that was strangely familiar – and eased herself more into the warm, delicious embrace of whatever was holding her. She hummed in agreement to the arm that held her a little tighter around the waist when she moved. It felt quite good, she felt well rested and safe, which was something she had not felt for a very long time. 

The vibrant energy made her want to sleep the morning away there, even though she was now conscious that she was on top of somebody and that both of them were stark naked.

Read more at FF.net

Preference #355: I Can't Resist Your Voice.

Masterlist
Request

Request: It’s so cute when guys talk in baby voices and so hard to resist. Can you do a pref or blurb where the boy(s) tries to get you to do what they want by acting like a child because they know you can’t resist? Thanks!

A/N: Note I put my own spin on this request.

“Y/N can you get me a drink pwease?” Luke asked in a baby voice. “Get in yourself” you replied “pwease, pretty pretty pwease” he pleaded. You rolled your eyes “fine” you said not being able to say no to his cute baby voice. You never could resist the baby voice and all the guys knew it, and definitely took advantage of the situation. You went into the kitchen and poured Luke a drink before returning to the living room and giving him his drink “here you go” you said passing him his drink “thankies” he said with a huge grin on his face. “Y/N can you make me a sandwich?” Michael asked “me too” Calum added. “I don’t work at subway get it yourself, idiots” you replied. “Pwease Y/N were hungry go make us a sammywhich pwease” Michael put on the baby voice and pouted. “Yeah pwease” Calum said with his sweet little puppy dog eyes. Damnit these guys were good. You sighed and went back into the kitchen and made Calum and Michael a sandwich before returning to the living room. They both thanked you before they tucked into their food. “Y/N can you make me a cup of tea pwease, it always tastes better when you make it” Ashton whined like a small child. You immediately got up and went and made him a cup of tea. There was no point trying to fight them anymore, you were a sucker for the baby voice and you were never going to win in these situations.

Now every time I drive, I have my own personal Luke winking at me:) Thank you so much ohemmoh:) you’re the best

Hey Taylor,
It’s me Paige. Right now I’m just having a lot of trouble finding happiness in my life. A couple years ago my parents got a divorce, & honestly it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Now, next month I am moving from the house I’ve lived in my entire life & I don’t know what to do. This is my home. How can I just leave the place my child hood took place in? All the fun times? It’ll be gone forever. I’m also a junior in high school & I honestly cannot wait for college bc I feel like I can never find friends that I can truly relate to. I’m just over all of this & I don’t know what to do so I’m hoping you can tell me something. But I also want to thank you for helping me through these times with your music. I wouldn’t be able to manage through this without you. I love you & I hope we can meet soon.
Love always,
Paige. @taylorswift

Daddy 5SOS - Missing Out (Calum)

“Hi! Do you think you could do a daddy!5SOS blurb where the kid has a big sporting event and their dad misses it and they get really mad/sad? And make one about marching band?”

A/N: I hope you enjoy these! This was fun to write – I also want to thank Heather for her help on some of these ideas! This girl is so good to me. Be sure to check out my Twitter @lukesalmightty and talk to me there. Like always, non-anon prompts are always open! xx

Calum was not old, he insisted. Sure sometimes he groaned when he stood and his daughter giggled that he made old man noises, and he’d plucked a few suspiciously gray looking hairs from his head, but he was not old. Not at all.

He was just tired because he was busy. Having a freshman girl in college would do that to anyone, he rationalized. Making sure Nebraska got settled into her dorm and had everything she needed for school was tiring. And he missed her. She was gone too much, and his house was far too quiet. Calum was lonely.

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Red - Chapter 17 “Just this Once” - Outlaw Queen Fanfiction

Art by the amazing starscythe <3

What if Robin Hood hadn’t been able to save his wife when she caught a deadly disease while carrying his child? What if the Evil Queen had summoned him instead of the Huntsman to hunt down Snow White?

Outlaw Queen / AU Enchanted Forest / Angst, Drama, Romance / Rated M

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Chapter 17 

Sorry for the long wait guys, my life is complicated. A truck-full of thank yous to lillie-grey for beta-ing this so incredibly well and giving me such amazing ideas. And also a huge thanks to outlawqueenluvr for all the help she gave me in writing some scenes <3

Regina was so angry her magic was practically spilling from her fingers as she made her way towards the thief’s chambers. She could have poofed herself there, but at that moment, her magic was slightly out of control due to the overwhelming amount of feeling she was bearing. When she finally got to his door, however, it bore the brunt of all that bottled up rage. 

It flew, it simply flew and Regina didn’t give two shits about what it actually hit, if it was him, at this point, even better. 

“Tell the Queen she can fuck herself today.” 

She had twisted the words out of that ridiculously small chamber-maid, and did not really remember what she had done to her after the revelation, Regina found she did not care in the least anyhow. All she knew was that her reality became red, and all she wanted to do was strangle the words out of the outlaw’s lips, dare him to defy her in such a way to her face. 

When she walked through the generous hole she had created in his wall, she noticed he was still in bed and with eyes half lidded and wrinkled sheets covering his limbs, which Regina found most indecent and attractive - his erection was quite noticeable, especially since he had a hand inside his trousers. He sat up, removing his hand from inside his pants, looking completely baffled at the remains of his door. 

He looked confused and alluring, and Regina cursed herself for feeling so damn attracted to him, out of pure instinct, her magic worked almost on its own, making the heavy velvet curtains fly in his direction and hit him square in the face and chest. He went down with a loud exhale, which made Regina’s chest swell with a dark kind of pleasure in hurting him somehow. 

He was quick to fight the trappings of the curtains, and their eyes finally met when she stood at the foot of his bed, looking as livid as she felt. Although the feelings were only ignited when, after a mere look at her, the suicidal man, started laughing without any apparent reason. 

“I fail to find anything funny about this situation,” she remarked in a cold tone. 

“Well you have not had a chance to look in the mirror this morning then?” he asked her amidst the laughter that Regina now began to understand the reasoning behind.

Read more at FF.net

Dustings of Truth: Chapter 8

Before there was Merida-verse, there was Little Lark, a different child, a different AU, but one I hope you enjoy all the same. I thank my wonderful readers for their patience in waiting for an update, and I sincerely hope you think it was worth it. :)  

You can scroll down or pick up from Chapter 1 here


He’s watching her, wishing he could just pay attention to America’s Funniest Home Videos and not wonder what she was drawing at the small pink and white table. She must like crayons and paint, he thinks, she has more than he’s ever seen in his life. His sister—his little sister. He’s never had a sister, and he’s not sure he wants one now, especially one who showed up out of nowhere and claimed his papa as her own. It can’t be right, can it, that one day it’s just him and his papa, but now there are three of them? No—wait, four. He can’t forget Gina.

He knows his papa never has.

But he doesn’t mind Gina being back in the picture. He’s missed her and has wished on more than one night that she would somehow poof her way into their cabin so his papa could finally get a good night’s sleep. Because he doesn’t sleep—not much, anyway. He paces, tosses and turns, grunts and groans and sighs too much. But he doesn’t smile much, at least not as much as he used to do before Gina disappeared.

Roland doesn’t mind Gina making his papa smile. But a sister? He’s not so sure about having a sister.

“Here,” Lark states, standing and carrying a large piece of paper in his direction. “This is for you.”

Roland takes the picture and looks at the drawing of five stick figures of varying heights, all standing beside what is obviously supposed to be this house.

“That’s you,” Lark explains proudly, pointing to the second shortest person on the page. “And that’s me.”

“I get it,” Roland replies, earning himself a direct stare from the woman named Tinkerbelle. “This must be your mom.”

“It is,” Lark grins, pointing to the woman with black hair and a red mouth. “That’s Henry, and that’s Daddy.”

“Whatever,” Roland mutters under his breath just before Tink snatches the picture out of his hands.

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