thank you for believing in my weirdness

His Mind Created the Perfect Metaphor

Dear BBC Sherlock community,

Ever since Sherlock series 4 came out, collectively we were like “what the HELL is this?!?! This doesn’t make any sense!” BUT after many months of tossing ideas around the fandom, we have made theories that could explain the weirdness, but nothing we can all agree on. Now, this meta here may be absolute garbage to you, but I believe, in my heart of hearts, I’ve solved it. Please read it in its entirety with an open mind before you reblog it just to tell me I suck.

Thanks in advance, you da best


Here’s the short version: Sherlock actually jumped at the end of The Reichenbach Fall, just as Doyle intended him to die. Gatiss and Moffat said they are correcting something in this adaptation that no one else has gotten right before. Many of us assumed the homosexual romance was the one thing they were changing, but we were punched in the face right after The Final Problem came out.  Gatiss and Moffat are changing the sacrifice. Holmes was intended to die for his friends but Doyle needed more money and rewrote the series after “The Final Problem”. That turned Holmes’ sacrifice into a cruel joke against Watson. This is what BBC Sherlock is fixing, and we’re about to see it come to fruition.

I know many theorists despise the homosexual reading of Holmes and Watson, while many people in general despise theorists on this site. That’s fine, I don’t care how people feel about gay theories and/or TJLC and its followers.  But I’m here to tell you TJLC, at its core as a concept, was right. You may hate Moffat and Gatiss, you may think Sherlock is a piece of shit show, and that’s fine, you do you. But hear this one meta out, please. I think even the hardest skeptic can at least apprectiate the thought and logic behind this.

Keep reading

to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever

Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death. 

Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing?
Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? 
Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? 
Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good.
Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! 
Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. 
Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died?
Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. 
Alien Wiro: … 
Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. 
Alien Wiro:


Humans Are Weird: Repellent

What if Earth wasn’t the only planet with mosquitos? Mosquitos are like a scourge to aliens, drinking blood and swarming around. Not to mention the possible diseases you can contract. So most planets with mosquitos were labeled uninhabitable and forgotten about, as they are nearly impossible to completely purge from a planet. That is, until humans come and start exploring all those “uninhabitable” planets that are perfect for them.

The Sentinel was a C-class explorer star ship, one of the first to explore the Beta Quadrant. It was part of the new Inter-Human Inclusion Program to help integrate humans into alien societies and familiarize species with one another. As such the Sentinel’s crew was roughly half and half, half human and half other aliens.

Today they were exploring planet S-00202B74, an organic planet with life and an atmosphere reliant on oxygen. The human crew had taken to nick-naming the planet Soo, saying the previous name was too long. The excursion crew contained two humans, Anna and Martin, and three aliens, Ja'rin, Urt'arg, and Kyr.

Soo was a swampy planet, 92 percent water but filled with life. Less than a minute after being on the planets porous surface, Anna suddenly smacked her arm angrily. “Why did you do that?!” Kyr exclaimed. A red handprint was forming on the woman’s bicep, but she smiled smugly. “Not to worry, just got a bloodsucker is all.” She wiped her palm on her leg. Ja'rin looked up fearfully, “A what now?” Martin waved his hand, “You know, mosquitos. I figured after leaving Earth I’d never have to see one again… .” He grimaced as he thought about it.

Ja'rin frantically looked at their exposed tentacles, “Oh no, we have to go back! These things eat you alive!” Anna came up to him, “Hey relax buddy, it’ll be fine! All we need is some bug spray.”

“Some what?”

“Insect repellant. You know, this stuff,” She said as she dug a small bottle out of her back pack. She uncapped it and sprayed the contents over her clothes, arms, and legs. “Pass it here,” Martin called. He repeated the strange ablutions. The normally quiet Urt'arg watched closely with their six blue eyes. “What is that?” they snorted. Martin replied, “It’s a chemical that repels bugs, makes it so they don’t want to bite you.”

Quite quickly for an alien with tentacles and not legs, Ja'rin was at the human’s side, “Could I borrow some? Please?” Martin resisted laughing, “Sure sure, but, hmm,” he looked at Ja'rin’s purplish tentacles, “maybe don’t use it directly on your skin. You absorb stuff really easily, and this might hurt you if you absorb too much.” Ja'rin hesitated now, “Hurt me? Why would that hurt me?”

Anna piped up, “I mean, it is poison after all. I think if you just put it on your uniform you’ll be okay.” Urt'arg’s globular eyes turned yellow and they garbled, “You- You put poison, just, all over you? To keep bugs off? Are you insane!?” Anna shrugged, “Hey, it’s a common thing on Earth. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want.”

None of the aliens took the offer to use the spray, but instead grabbed special suits from the ship. Oddly they didn’t touch either human until they returned to the Sentinel and washed.

The crew made their report to the Captain, Eisa and Muir, but Kyr stayed behind. “Captain, I have a report to add to the Human Manual. When in a hostile environment, more specifically one with aggressive insects, instead of fleeing or even putting on protective gear, humans will cover their bodies in poisonous chemicals to protect themselves.” Eisa blinked, and Muir asked, “I’m sorry, but what?” Kyr nodded, “On the mission, the planet had mosquitos! Instead of turning back, they just pulled out bottles of poison, like it was normal, and covered themselves in it. I guess it worked, they didn’t get bit after that, but I can’t believe they’d do that. It seems dangerous,” Eisa-Muir stood up with a sigh, their two heads having a silent conversation and sharing a look. “Thank you for the report,” Muir said. “You are dismissed,” said Eisa.

After Kyr left, Muir thought to Eisa, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

(If anyone wants to, you can add to this. I know my writing is below par, sorry)


skam month // week two - mandag: favourite female character:                   

             sana bakkoush              

“…it’s not weird that people give up. That they stop believing in the good. But thank you so much for not giving up, Sana. Because even though it sometimes feels like it, no one’s ever alone.”

Thanks for 500 followers!! Seriously, wow! I wanted to draw something big for this special event but I think I was a little too ambitious and I’m already tired of looking at it so… here’s the unfinished cropped version.

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about all the jikook shippers saying that jikook is to distant lately????

They hug, stare lovingly all the the time, slap each others’ butts, do all the kinky things … And … one day … they don’t. And the shippers world stumble and fall. LIKE THISUU: 

Originally posted by yngissi

SO when that happens. LOOK AT THISU:

Originally posted by delightfullyfree95


Originally posted by mintsugakookies

OOOR (Holy soul stay in my body) THISU:

Originally posted by helendrv

MAYBE THISU:(That was pretty recent too)

Originally posted by caughtinjimin

DON’T Forget the “Treated you like my princess” …: 

Originally posted by blvampyre

… Now you are my beach” *SLAP THAT* THISU:

Originally posted by cheesecake18


Originally posted by gayjikookadi

AND receive their JIKOOK love LIKE THISU:

Originally posted by apgujeon

Like seriously. Even if you are in a relationship. It is weird to be all over each other all the time. It is more natural and believable if they don’t clinge to one another at times. So just chill and more JIKOOK moments will come and kill us pretty soon ^^

Thanks for the Ask~

omg hi! it’s been a year now since I made this blog and so much stuff has been going on here, from starting as an exo blog to a 100% bts blog and now a lowkey multifandom mess but mostly bts bc I’m trash ;n; and lolol the content in my blog is a mess too, you got terrible fics, awkward covers and now weird edits (?) lololol but I’m so thankful to all of you for sticking with me for so long now and omg I can’t believe I got 6k followers in a year I’m ?????? thank you all so much for making this place so incredible 💖💕💗💓💘💟💝💞

bolded: mutuals

✧: favs

♡: my faves forever & ever idk what I’d do without u

# – d:

@02gguk ✧ — @02kth ✧ — @02tae ♡ — @150625 — @1hansungie ♡ — @2xstilinskix4 — @4bts — @aceyng ♡ — @actual-woozi — @aegyongi — @agustdia — @agustrain — @agutsd — @ajahix — @allisnargent — @amazzjin — @andorcia ✧ — @angetae — @areweoutofsight — @arguingpasta — @armysyehet — @arthoseok — @asdfghyusdfskd — @ayejiminie — @babybaekxing ✧ — @badbjimin — @baepsei — @baepsve ✧ — @bangtae-mi — @bangtan-bang ✧ — @bangtan-bangbang — @bangtan-spells ✧ — @bangtanimaginesletsgo ✧ — @bangtansperfectgirl ✧ — @bangtanxme ✧ — @barefacedv — @bashfultaehyung ✧ — @bbhzyx — @bbyhyuns ✧ — @bfjoonie ♡ — @blackpinkkimjennie ✧ — @bluey-jade ✧ — @btsphan ✧ — @bwiminie ✧ — @calcyeolaytor ✧ — @captinsugarrr ✧ — @carats ✧ — @casper-rose ✧ — @chanyoel ✧ — @cheeto-puff-gem — @chimchimshi ✧ — @chimchimwae — @chimsshi ♡ — @chokemejimin ✧ — @chokemeseokjin ✧ — @choose-tae — @clarkent ✧ — @cosykims ✧ — @cuddlykimtae ✧ — @cupidtae ✧— @cuteguk ✧ — @cutiehuns — @cutiepiebts ♡ — @cyph3r ✧ — @cypt3 — @dabtae ✧ — @dailydoseofdia ✧ — @damjoons ✧ — @dear-pjm ✧ — @dearkook ✧ — @dearmyjimin — @deathbyyoongi ✧ — @deerbts — @deviltae ✧ — @dimethylhoseok ✧ — @divinesuga — @dochims — @donteatjin ✧ — @dorkytaehyung ✧ — @dreamingreality91

e – i:

@eatijn ✧ — @edenalieth — @eggixing — @elementaljimin ✧ — @ellochen — @exo-bts-trash — @extraerica — @fallenbuildings — @fantaesyy — @fhawn ✧ — @firetrck ✧ — @flakandforay — @flowerchildchim ✧ — @fluff-tae ✧ — @friedrapper ✧ — @fxvkjeon ✧ — @ghostnamjoon — @gigglybts ✧ — @gimtajoo — @goldenmaktae — @guavajeon ✧ — @h-obii ✧ — @h0bi ✧ — @helloblamebts ✧ — @highkeyhoseok — @hijoonie ✧ — @hillinaa ♡ — @hobibliophile ✧ — @hobih ✧ — @hobiichim ✧ — @hobiini ✧ — @hobismole — @hobiue ✧ — @hobixing ✧ — @hobshine — @hohbi ✧ — @holilays ✧ — @holdme-baek ✧ — @holy-yoongi — @holy-jungkook ✧ — @hoseokie-ah ✧ — @hosedok ✧ — @icrystars — @inktae ✧ — @isexoreal ✧ — @itsthegirlinthebowtie

j – n:

@j1miniepabo — @jaehyunsucks ✧ — @jamlesspyo — @jediyixing ✧ — @jengkook — @jeonaesthetic — @jeonbia ✧ — @jeoncenas ✧ — @jeondarling ✧ — @jeonnseagull ✧ — @jeonshine — @jikuties ✧— @jiminables ✧ — @jiminbeba — @jiminfully ✧ — @jimins-left-nipple — @jiminsesposa ✧ — @jimintensify — @jimolk ✧ — @jinyonce — @jiyongyu ✧ — @jjvnqks — @jm-jk — @jngkookz ✧— @johnnyseod ✧ — @jpghope ✧ — @jungblue ✧— @jungchook ✧ — @jungee ✧ — @harwang ✧ — @jungkonan ✧ — @jungkookjpeg ✧ — @jungkopie — @jungkxook ✧ — @junyixinqs — @justataehoe ✧ — @k-poppyseed @kenwayer27 ✧ — @kihyvvn ✧ — @kimtahyung ✧ — @kimvtae — @kittaee ✧ — @knv — @kstopping ✧ — @ktvh — @laysekai ✧ — @lcimtaehyungs ✧ — @lets-go-north — @lilchubchim ✧ — @lovbbh — @lovethybangtan — @majesticjihoon — @maknaevis ✧ — @midnightbts — @miiktae — @minbabies ✧ — @minsugadotcom ✧ — @mintbean ✧ — @mnanvg ♡ — @mrsimanwinchester — @mytaeddy ✧ — @namjoon — @namjoone — @namjoonsfatgf — @nauijimin — @nevermlnd — @niike

o – s:

@officerkook — @ohjiminn — @jeonesque ✧ — @ohsuga — @parkjiminbiased ✧ — @parkjiminer ✧ — @pasta–sauce — @pastelxjimin — @pavkjimin — @peppermintsuga — @petaelwriting ✧ — @plumblackjeon — @precioseok — @pretentioustrashcan ✧ — @promixing ✧ — @protectaetae ✧ — @qeutae — @qtsyoongi — @queenjunghoseok — @qynee — @relnahc — @rhainintheattic — @rosejimin — @rosykook ✧ — @rosytaes ✧ — @s-lay-ing ✧ — @safeandsoundbed ✧ — @saltyrap ♡ — @sebootypoppin ✧ — @sehunjimin ♡ — @seofawn ✧ — @seokjin-lester ♡ — @seokjinaf ✧— @sftae ✧ — @shownu-the-muscles — @silenceofthenoot — @silencesneeze — @silentaehyung — @snugglejin — @sonrisadelsol ✧ — @spillthetaetae ✧— @ssweetshine — @stopbiaswreckers ✧ — @sugajpg ✧ — @suntaes ✧ — @suzybang ✧ — @syugatae

t – z:

@tae-biscuit — @taechai ✧ — @taechubs ✧ — @taeggk ✧ — @taegonia ✧ — @taehbear ✧ — @taeinmycup ✧— @taekwonduh ✧ — @taestify — @taesynth ✧ — @taetaetown ✧ — @taeyxing ✧ — @taezan ✧ — @tallyiaboo ✧ — @teaplussuga — @the95liner ✧ — @theseturquoisewaves — @tookorean ✧ — @twinkeltao ✧ — @tyminyoongi ✧ — @unspokenhope — @vernkn ♡ — @violetnpurple ✧ — @wae-tae-wae ✧ — @war-of-hormoan ✧ — @whatsyub ✧ — @wildtaehyung — @wintercherrybomb ♡ — @winterkook ♡— @wonhopes ✧ — @wonluce — @xinqs ✧ — @yoongsins ✧ — @yahjiminie ✧ — @yixingsfurrygf ✧ — @yohosh ✧— @yoongbootae ✧ — @yoongiswriting ✧ — @yoongsbae — @yoonimoo — @yoonminnings ✧ — @yovngi — @zephyoongist

THANKS <3 let me just clarify this is a 5 month difference and I don’t know how to feel about it anyway I pretty much just figured out what I want to go for I’ve been having style issues actually but this is smth I’m ok with, idk why I couldn’t mess w different brushes or go anything above flat colors BUT I HOPE I KEEP IMPROVING WOW

yeah I’m trying smth different! they are softer but mostly bc I use alot of blur, which really smooths everything out and makes it look nice.

believe me it makes me question my morals too. everyone needs to look like a kpop boy haha

I can’t believe my self-indulgent doodles are able to insp you IT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL if anything it’s sweet & ily, thanks sm I’m still not used to being anyone’s insp & idk I’m just glad I could be that for you!

I LOVE YOU are you sure bc all I draw is bad memes ok but once you finish smth I’d love to read it, if my art was insp I bet it’s super funny haha

Commissions are still smth I have to figure out but it means alot that you’re willing to do that for me! idk I just think I should get better first before commissions, so I’ll keep holding them off until I improve a bit.

that pink sand beach in bermuda



Songs and Vamps

Originally posted by casclarenceunicorn

Word Count: 2,220

Author: Deka

Warning: Blood, violence, weapons, sexual innuendos, fluff, a litlle angst, that’s it.

Pairing: Lucifer x Soulmate!Reader

Summary: After a good morning song, the boys and Y/N went on a hunt to kill some monsters, what could go wrong?

Keep reading

game grumps ask meme.

“Dude, just… just pity laugh, at least!”
“I don’t wanna kill anybody, I’m a pacifist. Ooops, killed six people.”
“Six is the number of Def Leppard members, almost.”
“Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke.”
“Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?”
“Remember kids, if you wanna defeat the evil power, you better fucking find the nearest sharpest sword and run as fast as you can.”
“I don’t judge you when you steal children, so I’ll thank you to show me that same courtesy.”
“Having a great time being in immeasurable pain.”
“Yes, have you ever heard of brapnel? That’s baby shrapnel.”
“Wait, mechanical bird is plane. I just realized.”
“Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.”
“I didn’t have any problem at all after I died twice.”
“Such a nice man we ripped off there.”
“I’ll never put on pants.”
“Checkers would be better with badgers.”
“She’s adorable! Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature, then ya gotta hit her with the lead pipe.”
“Stop dancing at me!”
“I have some very important masturbating to do.”
“You make me have to pee, always.”
“Whales are just Earth’s way of taking a shit.”
“I like it when Luigi’s happy. It makes me smile.”
“You know when you get high, and you start floating five feet off the ground, and gain a Spanish accent?”
“Whenever you talk about being high, it always just shows how much you’ve clearly never gotten high before.”
“Dude, what if hell was up?!”
“I will raise that chicken as if it were my own daughter… who I turned into chicken fingers.”
“‘Becky with the good hair’ sounds too much like ‘caramel corn’?”
“Even 90s rock won’t make me feel good about this!”
“This might be the drugs talking, but I love drugs.”
“That’s one boopity you shouldn’t have shmoopled.”
“Am I nude right now?”
“It’d be weird to sleep amongst your dead friends.”
“Are you here to repent for your chins?”
“Why am I not eating ice cream for every meal?”
“This taxi is bae.”
“The world is full of magic. Horrible, horrible magic.”
“Jesus is my drug.”
“I don’t know anything about memes.”
“You would say that, no matter what, me from another dimension that runs a porn ring.”
“I’m a milk-based life form.”
“I fucked a cantaloupe once.”
“Awww babe, look at us, we have our own cam girl operation.”
“Everyone who works for us gradually becomes more gay in their interactions because… we are always getting… weirdly gay with each other.”
“Shut up, ya tweezer!”
“And Half-Life 3, I don’t know anything about Half-Life 3, other than that everyone says it’s confirmed.”
“Good thing you’ve got fingers and wrists of steel, from that straight jacking.”
“I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.”
“Hi, I’m a musician with a huge penis. Do you know where I can find guitars and Magnum condoms?”
“Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.”
“Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.”
“We’ve broken several laws.”
“What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!”
“‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’”
“These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’”
“As I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.”
“When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?”
“If there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.”
“Just get abducted! We are your saviors, we’re flying in the sky- treat us as your new gods.”
“If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!”
“Water is just… air juice.”
“Uh… Doctor, could you put tits on my thumbs?”
“We hang out… we touch each other…”
“Does anyone have a paper bag I can hyperventilate into?”
“2016 is the year of the butt.”
“If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else.”
“You make another joke like that, and I’m gonna have to beat you to death with your own shoes.”
“Whoa, look at this trapezoid-headed Funyon ring!”
“I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.”
“He died as he lived: covered in mayonnaise.”
“Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.”
“What took you so long, you butt plug?!”
“Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’”
“Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.””
“As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.”
“Like I would kill a friend… without watching.”
“With your Phd and my also being here, we can solve any problem.”
“I love watching you guys suffer.”
“Man, the void of nothingness is kinda lame.”
“Sometimes you gotta take time and smell the roses. And sometimes you’re gonna be a guy jacking yourself off while you’re rubbing a girl in a video game.”
“I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian.”
“Oh my god, do we have to kill him while he’s asleep?”
“I feel dead inside, but at least I had pie.”
“This is nice. We’re all bathing in the warm glow of murder.”
“The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious.”
“Murder is a spectator sport.”
“Today’s been a day. A day full of tasty, tasty murder.”
“Man, I wish anime was human history.”
“99 red balloons… Something- something- German song.”
“If you wanna have sex you don’t have to make a little song about it, like just come right out and ask.”
“If only I could have sex with my own brain. That would be a mind-fuck.”
“I am not nature. I am nurture.”
“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they died?”
“Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.”
“Taco Bell cures diabetes.”
“Rule number one of babysitting? DON’T STEP ON THE BABY!”
“Play for my amusement, child.”
“How does a ghost enter a skeleton? And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.”
“You’re locked the closet with the dildo!”
“Yeah, I’ve been drunk on pot before. What of it?”
“You are the worst son ever.”
“Shut up, this is my moment of time shine!”
“Bro, can I be honest with you guys right now? I love defiling things.”
“I wanna touch everything with my boner, including my boner!”
“When you’re married, you can announce your boners everywhere.”
“I am enjoying my pot! Take that out of context.”
“Dude, what if you were next to a supernova when it supernovaed?”
“…and she’s like COVERED in butter.”
“I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.”
“What are the animals crossing, exactly?”
“I’m a firm believer in ‘if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly.’”
“And you know what? We’re tied right now, like brothers… only one brother is significantly smarter and more handsome than the other and has like 15 years more life experience.”
“Frick to the 30th power!”
“My eyebrows are slippery and slimy. I grease them.”
“This is literally just elementary hydrodynamics, I can’t believe you can’t grasp this.”
“Well look the important thing that I’m having fun and other people aren’t.”
“I would fuck everything on the screen including the animals and the bicycle.”
“How dare you know stuff about things. I’m gonna beat you up with my fists… that are made of stuff and things.”
“Spyyyder Loops™ cereal…. made with… spiders.”
“I’m a bottom kind of guy.”
“Can you see my labia in this fucking costume?”
“Just bros bein’ bros…”
“I never feel quite as alone as I do when I play Burger Time.”
“If you do this… I’m gonna be mildly impressed with you.”
“I don’t know how to be interesting, could you give me advice?”
“I’m kind of amazing at everything I do.”
“I would get a photo-realistic tattoo of your face on my inner thigh.”
“Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?!”
“Follow your stupid fucking dreams.”
“Everyone does crack at some point in their lives. It’s pretty much a rite of passage.”
“I wanna know where Luigi is!”
“Nothin’ wrong with that. Get clean, get clean with the lord.”
“You’re on page 2, and I’m on page…uh, furiously concentrating on not throwing up from this Nutella situation.”
“I wish you could jump inside my skin and know what I know, and feel what I feel.”
“I’m feeling fly for a caucasian man.”
“I will actually strangle you with my bare hands and feet.”
“Don’t call me “bro” in an accusatory tone!”
“This is a good yiff right here.”
“My friends! I love killing my friends.”
“Now I am the one who is bitch.”
“He died as he lived: eating chicken McNuggets.”
“Well, thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say, but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar.”
“I could tell by his briefly angry eyebrows that he’s someone we should be stabbing.”
“A blunt is a maridujuana.”
“If you can’t beat em, Shoot ‘em with a gun!”
“Getting kicked in the nuts is not an event, it’s a process.”
“My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth.”
“Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird.”
“Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum.”
“And you have ten thousand and seven hundred grams of mardujuana.”
“My style is old, nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants.”
“If you ever run into me in the wild, we’ll hug it out.”
“I think the noodles are going to kill me!”
“I’m sorry, your son is an anthropomorphic cheese melt.”
“Wait, but, also shut up.”

College!Shawn Imagine - One Night

Title: One Night (College!Shawn)

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader 

WARNINGS: suggestive content, mild swearing

Summary: Based off of a College! prompt I found once where you meet while both doing the Walk of Shame. 

A/N: I’ve got so many prompts saved I’m highkey considering creating a full on College!Shawn series or something I’m so in love with the idea of a slightly older Shawn who’s more charismatic and has grown out of his shell to become the Life of The Party (AHA!) I know that boy could be. 


“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You jolted upright. 

The too-small clock read 8:34 AM and you had to squint to see through the crusty sleep in your eyes. For a second you thought it had said PM. Dumbly, you thought maybe you were the lucky bastard who got their personal twisted version of Groundhog Day, a do-over for the mistakes you clearly made last night. For example, the shots you swore you weren’t going to do on a school night. Or, more importantly, the boy that laid asleep next to you.

Now you were here, in this dimly lit student suite, scrambling around an unfamiliar bedroom for a familiar pair of high waisted jeans.

“Where ’re you going?” You heard a gruff mumble come from beneath the sheets.

“Shit.” You swore under your breath, turning around to find the psych major you found unbelievably intelligent last night wrapped up in the sheets you slept in. 

Uhh, gotta shower. I’m late for class.“ 

He turned to the tiny clock on his bedside table, seemingly reading the minuscule thing with ease. He smiled at you as if you were kidding. When your blank stare didn’t falter, he scooted further to the edge of the bed, patting the empty spot next to him as if expecting you to crawl back and cuddle into his awaking body.

"Ten minutes more?” He grinned lazily. 

“Y'know what, I-I’m good.” You stuttered, tripping over the other sneaker you were looking for. 

You silently thanked your roommate for forcing you into spending actual money on athleisure wear. You couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to walk your shame off with heels on at 8:30 in the morning.

“You sure?” The boy was fighting off a frown. “No breakfast or anythin’?”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, no.” You nodded a little too feverishly, hands brushing through the knots in your hair in the hopes of somewhat redeeming your appearance. “Thanks for offering but I should really get going.”

“Right. Well, thanks, i guess..?” you heard him mutter before you closed his door.

You inhaled sharply, trying to gather yourself as best you can before braving the campus. 

“Sorry.” You muttered under your breath, bumping into a random student.

You kept your head down, moving as fast as your legs would go, not wanting to break out into a run in the middle of campus. That would attract way too much unecessary attention, as if your messy state wasn’t enough already.

“It’s oka—(Y/L/N)?" 

You whirled on your feet. 

Your eyes widened when you saw that it was Shawn, a music major from the grade above you. Tutored you for a history course once (surprisingly very good at History of the Arts 1). An outrageous teacher’s pet despite his Cool & Calm demeanor (sometimes volunteered as Teacher’s Assistant for your professor).

"Mendes?” You asked in disbelief, no doubt your mouth agape. You tugged down your small top in a self-conscious effort to cover up. It only made Shawn notice your outfit more. “Why are you wearing boots in 30 degree weather?”

“Guess we’re both guilty, huh?” He grinned unapologetically. 

You took in his appearance like he did you. His curls—longest you’ve ever seen it grow so far—was disheveled, his crumpled red blouse was half unbuttoned and the leather jacket he usually adorned during night outs was thrown over his shoulder. 

“Oh my god,” you mumbled into your palm to try and hide the warmth engulfing your face. “I am never asking you to tutor me again.”

“Why not? You got an A minus on that history exam ‘cause of me, remember?” he bantered.

You wondered why Shawn wasn’t the least bit embarassed. Was he accustomed to the classic Walk of Shame? Ugh, that was so not your business. “

Because,” you shrugged in false indifference. “The next time I sit next to you in that quiet library, all i’ll think about is…” you drifted off awkwardly.

“Is..?” Shawn raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips in amusement.

“Ugh, you know what I mean.” You grumbled, not entirely annoyed despite your deviantly crossed arms.

“That we both look outright fucked?” Shawn left his eyebrow propped, the amused pucker of his lip widening into another grin. The signature challenging Mendes Grin, all teeth and mischievous eyes.

“Ugh.” You muttered, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands. “Are you done bullying me? ‘Cause I’d really like to go to class now.”

“Class?” Another brow shot up. 

“Yes, class. Y'know, the place where we learn the things our parents have paid for? Or were you so shitfaced you’ve forgotten the last 15 years of your life?” You shot back, one impatient hand propped up on a jutting hip.

“Hey, i’m not judging your lifestyle choices,” Shawn held up his hands in defense, but the grin never faltered. “Besides, it’s Sunday. Unless you were so shitfaced you’ve forgotten that the weekend exists.”

“What? It’s a Monday.” Your eyes widened, ignoring the jab he took at you. “No, can’t be right. It’s a—”

You quickly fished out your phone from your back pocket. Surely enough, the screen lit up with the date and the day on the corner of your screen. 

“Sunday.” Shawn finished for you, grin more smugly if that was even possible. “Must’ve given the lucky guy a heart attack this morning, huh?”

“That’s none of your business.” You glared. 

“Well, you know what is my business?" 

"What?” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“The massive hangover I’m harboring right now, and I bet you are, too.” Shawn slung an arm around your shoulder. 

The same way he casually did when you asked him to tutor you (per your professor’s request, definitely not yours). Called you a 'newbie’ whilst doing it, then made you promise you’d bring muffins as a form of payment. Your boss at the on-campus-coffee shop you worked at gave you questioning looks the whole three weeks. 

“What do you say we go grab some muffins at the coffee shop?”

“But I was gonna shower first,” you frowned, turning over your shoulder to gaze at the direction of your dorm longingly.

“Your shower can wait, you don’t smell too bad.” Shawn smiled down at your head. You were too busy glaring at a judging stare some guy gave the two of you. He thought you were going to hiss at the guy like a cat. 

“Gee, Shawn! Right back 'atcha.” You rolled your eyes. You kept your hand at your sides as Shawn began walking.

“Come on, tea on me.” Shawn bribed.

“Fine,” you huffed. “But not the one I work at. My boss won’t hesitate to give me weird looks.”

“Fine.” Shawn echoed, voice much more brighter than yours. 

You silently followed Shawn (not that you had much of a choice) as he steered the two of you off campus, occasionally greeting Juniors and Seniors you recognized. You were just thankful once the coffee shop finally came into view, leaving the judging and questioning stares of your fellow collegiate pals.

“Hey, (Y/L/N)?” Shawn piped up, opening the door with his free arm, not once letting go of your shoulder.

What, Mendes?”

“Do you think your lucky fella’ believed you when you said you needed to get to class on a Sunday morning?" 

"Shut up, Shawn.” you craned your neck to glare up at his much taller figure.

He snickered, tightening the casual arm around your shoulder before walking up to the barista to order your usuals.

Diabolik lovers Lunatic parade Ayato Sakamaki [Care For Vampire] ~translation★traducción~

This translation was made by @vampiretsuki

*Knock Knock*

*Opens the door*

Ayato: Chichinashi, you’re late!

Ayato: The grand Ore-sama is suffering from a stomach-ache, and even so, why did take so long!!?

Ayato: Ha! …So? Did you ask Reiji for the medicine?

Keep reading

7,000 Followers... what ???

Where do you all come from ?! I… honestly never expected to see so many people to follow my blog, I mean… Yeah, sure I got experience and people admire my work and all but… I honestly never though that I would ever reach such an high number… 

I really want to thank you for everything, the support, the comment, the way you guys treat me and… well… it’s honestly really weird to have so much positive in my life… Without this stupid blog… I would never have been able to meet @Azraeltree and fall in love with her… I would never have meet @alainaprana and experience what it truly is to be part of a loving family… I would never have started my comic neither would I never have find out how much wonderful you guys are…

I would have loved to do something a Kiriban or a livestream, but my health is pretty bad rn, I really hope that I will be able to catch up at the next mile stone… Once again thank you really much… now… I’m just gonna cry in my corner.

Fighting to Loving

Anonymous Asked: “Hey! Do you happen to have any prompts for two old friends who bicker a lot and are just discovering they have feelings for each other? You know, typical rivals to lovers trope… Plus an awkward confession, if it isn’t too much? Thank you in advance! I love your blog a lot!”

Anonymous Asked: “Prompts for enemies that have just started dating?”


1. “You two know that you guys sound like an old married couple, right?”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m neither old nor married.”

“What about me?”

“Well, you aren’t married, anyway.”

2. “You always have to be better than me, don’t you?”

“I was trying to compliment you.”

3. “Sorry, did you just say I looked… Nice?”

“What? I do actually have eyes, in spite of your best efforts.”

“For the last time, that was an accident.”

4. “I hate you.”

“Oh, you know you don’t mean that. You’d be lost without me.”

5. “I… Thank you?”

“Did that physically pain you to say?”


6. “Hey, jerk.”


“I mean… Babe?”

7. “I don’t know how to do this. I still feel like insulting you every time I see you. But I also want you to be happy.”

8. “Admit it. That was the best kiss of your life.”

“You always have to be the best, don’t you?”

9. “So, my parents don’t believe we’re dating each other.”


“They completely think it’s a prank.”

10. “It’s weird, being together. I love you, but I also want to fight you.”

“Pillow fight?”

“I think we’re more mature than that.”

“Loser makes dinner.”

“You are going DOWN.”

11. “You remember when I won that science fair?”

“You remember when you stole my idea to do it?”

“I made it better.”

12. “You remember when they used to hate each other?”

“Yeah… Now we hate everyone else. Together.”

BONUS- Confession Time (I have a long post of confession options, but I’ll throw in a few here.)

13. “Why are you being so nice to me? You hate me!”

“I don’t hate you! I… The opposite of hate you.”

14. “If you must know, I think you’re pretty… You know?”

“No, I don’t know!”

“Pretty good. To be… Around, and stuff.”

15. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“You’re drunk. You don’t mean that.”

“I do. I love you. Plus you have a good face.”

16. “I love you and all, but if you don’t stop making that noise, I’m going to throw something at you!”

“You love me?”


~I hope these help! Thanks for the ask!~

Humans are Weird. ....Movies?

So I love this band wagon and I’ve yet to see any on this so let’s delve in.

So yeah, we get into all this stuff and oh look, we’re scary as hell and super cool,
‘Space Australia.’
What if other aliens and such DIDNT have movies and video games and stuff?
Or if they did,
It wasn’t anywhere near as imaginitive?
Whatever’s in the movie/game MUST be real!
So when they see our movies,
Our games,
Galliont: *showing a new recruit around as they pass the humans recreational quarters they use for sleeping and other resting activities,
They see a large creature similar to a Thratgan,(multiple armed spider creature whom has three mouths and almost no spine it seems because can move unimaginably well) on the screen whilst Human Maria is munching on popcorn.
The new recruit screams,*
Human Maria; OH! Hi guys! *Paused the movie* What’s up?
Human Maria; Uh- *glances to movie, then back to them before laughing* Oh yeah! You guys don’t have ‘campatible space in your brains for fun imagination,’
New Recruit: what?
Galliont: I believe she is insulting us, you will get used to it,
Human Maria: I wasn’t I promise! Just….. Yeah. These are totally on our planet, *sarcasm*
New Recruit: Oh my….
Galliont: …*gulp.
They do not understand sarcasm.* Good to know, Human Maria. Thank you for your time,
Human Maria: Any time!
And one more fact goes into the ‘Humans are Badass’

‘ Shit The Squad Says ‘ Sentence Starters

Down below are 40+ sentences, taken out of context from skype chats between myself and friends. Pronouns can be changed as necessary. Some are more nsfw than others.

  • “I am not always talking about penis!
  • “I can’t be outed like this.”
  • “I don’t even want sex with humans, let alone a ___.”
  • “Babe, please don’t eat spoonfuls of mayo.”
  • “___, you dramatic hoe.”
  • “Get out, both of you!
  • “That would be great. A hoard of Shreks.”
  • “Who the fuck looks at a raccoon and thinks, ‘ima put my dick in it’?
  • “Child, I will glove slap you.”
  • “I slept on the floor. Not for any reason, I just slept on the floor.”
  • “Nobody cares about the Eurovision people once Eurovision is done.”
  • “I’m gonna kill them.”
  • “Space Jam has to play first.”
  • “This is my new ringtone.”
  • “I’ll fight your mom.”
  • “Completely off topic, but ——”
  • “I show love and I’m asked whether I’m dying.”
  • “Scared with jazz hands.”
  • “I accidentally punched my brother in the dick one time, and he hated me for weeks.”
  • “Thank.”
  • “My brother almost drowned me in a swimming pool once.”
  • “I can’t believe i just googled ‘lucifer lucifer’.”
  • “Thanks. I appreciate that, even if it’s not true.”
  • “Incest is cool to them, but lord forbid Dany get with Jorah.”
  • “We can commit arson together.”
  • “Why did I have to read that with my own eyes just now?
  • “There’s a dude at the bus stop getting drunk.”
  • “They don’t read rules, I guess.”
  • “He’s just an astral projection these days.”
  • “I hope the ascot chokes him.”
  • “What’s the name of those two dudes who had the weird ass hair who became hot?
  • “I meant that you are an asshole.”
  • “Fair.”
  • '”Touched my inner child’ is a loaded sentence, buddy.”
  • “And that was the day they fucked in the streets.”
  • “Death by the rainbow.”
  • “I come back from hell to this?
  • “Do you want some white condiment?”
  • “Go back to your damn tuna casserole!
  • “What the fuck is his hair?
  • “ I hate everything.”
  • “You’re always talking about penis.”
  • “___, you need to take care of our funerals.”

You heard it right!!! 😎 I can’t believe it guys, just by 4 months I got 1000+ followers 🌸THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 💖💖💖💖 I dont follow a lot of people and I also dont talk much, but I’m still glad that you follow this weird girl 😋😌 Cause then I wouldn’t hit my first (big) milestone! 😉 Hope my follow forever in the future will have plenty of blogs to recommend and just show how much I love them. If you are not mentioned it isn’t because I don’t love you ;) I love all of you and I’ll always watch (stalk) you guys 🙄👌🏽 Even though I am a blog focused on NamNam, I still love our boys~

Let us keep supporting, appreciating and love our precious pumpkins!!!📣📣🔥🔥

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Here’s a list of people I love (stalk) 🌸

My cute pumpkins: 🍇

@bebitojoonie 🍇 @gukjoon 🌸 @hixtaes 🌸 @holy-namjoon  🌸 @iparachuteonmyneverland 🍇 @jjeonguk  🌸 @joonienamjoon 🍇 @jkguks  🌸 @jjks 🌸 @jimiyoong  🌸 @jminies  🌸 @jhopehatesnakeu 🌸 @kimdaily  🌸  @lilacnamjoon 🌸 @rapmoonie 🌸 @rapmonster 🍇 @rappornster 🍇 @obsessivev  🌸 @otpinmybrain 🍇 @pocketjoon  🌸

anonymous asked:

Hi! So hapy to know you're doing something special for the Choi boys! Can I request MC deciding to give a cat to Saeyoung for his birthday?

Countdown to the Cake: 4

The Rainbow Code


You feet hurt. You’ve been strolling in the mall for almost 2 hours now, trying to find the perfect birthday gift for your fiancée, it wouldn’t be that hard if it wasn’t for the two whining messes complaining behind you.

“My back hurt.” Yes, Yoosung, we got it when you said the 9 times before.

“Ugh… I’m bored. Can we stop and get some ice cream?”

“No, not yet. Let’s stroll a little more, Saeran. Please… bare with me, guys.”

“MC, we’ve wandered around these shops before,there’s nothing here you haven’t seen before.”

“I know, but what if we passed for the right gift and I didn’t notice?”

“You know you could give him a pair of socks and he would still squeal like an idiot because it’s coming from you, right?” Saeran says, crossing his arms.

“Ugh… but I can’t give him socks, Saeran. I… he really didn’t give you any hint on what he would like?”

“Nope. And I would have noticed since he is not really subtle at hinting, that fool.” You groan in annoyance. “Just… accept you’re not finding anything here, MC.”

“What about some fancy hair products? I saw this shampoo that revitalizes color and…” Saeran shuts down and stops listening, it’s not like you cared as you keep blabbering and walking inside the cosmetic store.

He sits next to Yoosung in the bench and groans in annoyance.

“What’s wrong with her? Why she doesn’t just give up? Ugh… my brother and her are such a match in that sense.”

“But, Saeran… if you don’t like helping her, why are you here?”

“I can’t help it, she… she called the violet code.”

“The what?”

“Violet stands for ‘MC needs help’. It’s a stupidity Saeyoung created, we have these secret codes between us to make sure MC is happy, it’s… it’s so cheesy and stupid!”

“And whatever this is, you’re still following it.”

“Well, yeah! It’s simple, happy MC means happy Saeyoung, and happy couple means less problems for me to deal with. Seriously, you have no idea the hell these two fools make when they fight.”

“Oh, I do. Last time they fought, Saeyoung called me crying because MC apparently hated him and he wanted to rent a zeppelin to win her back.” Saeran rolls his eyes, yeah… he knew everything about the zeppelin ordeal.

“So you know why I follow Saeyoung stupid’s rainbow code.”

“Rainbow? Oh my God, there are 7 codes for this? You gotta tell me which are the other codes!”

“Yoosung, have you found something for him?” you walk out of the store and stop in front of them.

“I did, MC. I bought these comic books I thought he would like while you were seeing those customized sweaters.” Which, thankfully… you didn’t buy.

“Oh… comic books, yeah… that’s so thoughtful and adorable, Yoosung. Ugh… you should be his fiancé instead of me…”

“I’ll pass, but… don’t feel down, MC. I’m sure you’ll think of something meaningful to both of you that expresses your feelings very well.”

“How about cat lingerie, then?”

“He already has cat lingerie…” you sigh. Saeran feels like saying something, but… nah, better pretend he didn’t hear this.  

“Okay, have you ever considered asking him directly what he wants, like you did to me?”

“I did, but… I want to think of this myself, you know? We’re getting married pretty soon, I have to be able to give him what he wants without him telling me.”

“MC… don’t you think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself? You’ve been engaged for less than a year now…”

“Don’t even try, Yoosung. She’s stubborn just like him. And…” he gets up and starts to walk “I have no patience for any of this!”

“But Saeran, the violet code…”

“Fuck the violet code, MC”

“Wait, isn’t the rainbow code a thing just between the twins?”

“Yeah, and there’s the blue code in this.”

“Which means ‘MC is spending too much time with us and learning how to hack, so she knows the codes.’” Saeran explains in total boredom.

“Yeah…I called the violet code, not Saeyoung. So you still have to help me, Saeran!”

“I’m trying to help you, but there’s nothing I can do if you can’t take my help, you know? Ugh… fuck this, I’m gonna get some ice cream.”

“Ugh… what do I do, Yoosung?”

“Right now? Tell me all the codes, I’m so curious,MC!”

Saeran goes all the way to the ice cream shop muttering. How can you and his brother be so alike? It’s almost disturbing! Too bad you’re actually likeable most of the times and now he really feels this need to help you…

He picks the flavor he wants and pays to the girl in the cashier, who… happens to look vaguely familiar. What the hell?

“Have a nice day, sir!”

“You too… Saeyoung.” The girl widens her eyes before lowering her head and chuckling.

“Guess I can’t fool you, brother.”

“I’m not sure if I really want to know, but… what the fuck, Saeyoung?”

“Well, you know those days when you just want to put on a cute dress and infiltrate into the ice cream shop in the mall where your fiancée is buying your birthday gift? It’s… one of those days.”

“So you’re spying on her.”

“I prefer ‘watching her steps attentively’, please.”

“And why are you s… watching her steps attentively?”

“Yes, Saeyoung, why are you spying on me?” holy shit! You and Yoosung are standing next to the balcony.

“Saeyoung? Who is this handsome man named Saeyoung you all keep talking about?” he does this weird high voice, and you cross your arms, glaring at him and making him sigh. “Hi, honey…”

“What are you doing, Saeyoung? I told you before how creepy it is when you do things like that!”

“I know, and I’m trying to stop, but… I couldn’t stay at home knowing you and my brother were trying to get something for me. I… don’t know, MC, I panicked, okay?”

“Why did you panic?”

“Because… it’s… it’s still hard to believe, MC. My fiancée going to the mall with my brother and my best friend to get me a birthday present, is this real? Is this… happiness real? I… can’t really stay home while something like this is happening, I can’t miss all the happiness that is surrounding my life right now, because… what if it ends?”

Yoosung looks at you and Saeran, he’s honestly shocked, he knew how much Saeyoung still struggled with his depressive thoughts from time to time, but he never really saw one of these moments in person. You and Saeran apparently did, though.

“You’re such a moron, Saeyoung.” Whoa… not the reaction he was expecting from Saeran.

“Ugh… I know. And I’m really sorry, bro. I’m sorry, Yoosung. And I’m sorry… MC.”

“I… told you more than once you don’t have to apologize so much, silly. And… I also told you it won’t end, Saeyoung. I’m here, we’re getting married in less than a month, and your brother is here too. This is just your first birthday we’re spending together, the first of many. I’ll be here for you getting older with you every year of our lives. So… don’t worry about missing moments, there are so many important ones to come.” You just feel your own tears when you see his.

“I can’t believe you two are really crying and making a scene in an ice cream shop. Can you believe it, Yoosung?”

“I can…” of course, because he’s crying too.

The four of you finally leave the shop. Saeran still can’t believe he’s the one to apologize for his friends’ weirdness. He, of all people.

He really needs a break from you two, and Yoosung needs to recompose yourself. So now it’s just the two of you sitting in the bench.

“So, uhm… thank you for what you said, MC.I… am sure you’re tired of always repeating the same stuff to me, but I appreciate it, you know, the way you appreciate me. The way you love me.”

“I do love you, don’t I?”

“Yes, you do… and that makes me realize that’s the best gift I could possibly have, and not only for my birthday.” You blush, and he giggles. You don’t really mind getting flustered if he makes him smile like this. “The idea of us being this old couple, sitting on our rocking chairs in the porch, talking about how young people have no respect and… surrounded by cats, and…”

“Wait, what?”

“What what?”

“Surrounded by cats?”

“Well, yeah… I… love cats, and  despite of what Jumin think, I would be a good owner, if you… helped me.” then it hits you, the perfect birthday gift!



“I’m calling the red code.”





“YEEEESS!” he gets up and takes your hand, hugging you. Then he lifts you up before pulling you closer for a kiss. And you two laugh.

“Whew… they’re okay. I thought we would have to call the zepellin guy again…” Yoosung whispers to Saeran. But you and Saeyoung notice their presence again pretty quickly.

“Hey, Saeran, guess what?” you ask him.


“She called the red code!” you two giggle, still hugging each other.





“SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT DOES THE RED CODE MEAN, FOR GOD’S SAKE!” Yoosung almost shouts in confusion.

“MC WANTS TO ADOPT A CAT!” you and Saeyoung say at the same time.

You can see the other days here!