7

save him

also my commissions are open, if you’d for whatever reason be interested :’)

Every Bioware Romance Ever.

Love interest: let me tell you all about my trauma/tragic backstory/death of a loved one/slavery/addiction/ect.

Player: That’s really sad. You know what that put me in the mood for?

Love interest: What?

Player: Fucking. You specifically.

Love interest: I am down for some reason.

*Cue dramatic make out/sex scene*

mass effect dad headcanons
  • Kaidan: cheers you on at every soccer game even though you’re horrible at it “You got this, champ!” loves to barbecue and can always tell when something’s wrong “You okay, bud?” Still wears the #1 dad t-shirt you made for him when you were little.
  • Garrus: Comes off as relaxed and let’s you go to that shady party but when you get back you have (84) missed calls from Dad and he’s pacing in the living room. Doesn’t know how to cook so just orders takeout. “Well, you’re still alive so I guess I did pretty well”
  • Mordin: “Breakfast is most important meal. Triggers metabolism and gives energy!” Only showed you educational kids shows and builds your model volcano for you. Sings in the car even though ugh dad you’re embarrassing me.
  • Anderson: “I’m not your friend, I’m your father” but actually adores you more than anything in the galaxy. Took the day off work then stayed up with you all night when you got food poisoning. The day he tells you he’s proud of you is the best you’ve ever felt in your life.
  • Wrex: let's you take a sip of ryncol and laughs when you start gagging. Says "Whatever" and uses guilt as his primary tactic. Always gives you piggy back rides and weirdly specific life advice.
  • Joker: Dad jokes. Too many dad jokes. Let you watch a horror movie that gave you nightmares for weeks. "If I can do it, you can." Made sure you aced your driving exam and took you out for ice cream after.
  • Zaeed: Tries to watch his language but it usually ends up sounding like "Well sh... shucks" All your friends think he's really cool but he always asks things like "what in the shitting hell is a me-me"
  • Thane: Crazy dance!! Always knows what to say when you're upset. Remembers the small things like what toppings you like on yogurt and makes sure your favorite shirt is always clean. "I want you to be happy in life."
3

tfw your gf and bf sass you

Who's Who on Mass Effect 2
  • Shepard: Glorified galactic babysitter
  • Miranda Lawson: The equivalent of that kid who get's straight A's but never studies seriously Miranda not all of us are genetically engineered
  • Jacob Taylor: Kanye West in space
  • Mordin Solus: geneticist who somehow knows the dirt on everyone. How do you know who I'm dating Mordin? it happened five minutes ago
  • Garrus: literally your best friend in the whole fucking galaxy
  • Jack: The most Tsundere person to ever come from something other than an anime
  • Tali: A huge fucking nerd, but YOUR huge fucking nerd
  • Grunt: your actual murderous child
  • Samara: THE CODE
  • Thane: Cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure
  • Legion: the cutest robot sniper pet in the galaxy