This fucking guy. I had forgotten about this fucking guy.

First of all, “Estormo?” “Estormo the Lightning Mage?” Surely that’s an ancient Ehlnofex name of grand esteem! Fucking “Estormo.” If he had been a fire mage, he’d be, what? “Eferno?”

…Actually, “Eferno” is kind of cool. “Estormo” is NOT.

And let me try to figure this out. Ancano finds out I’m going to Old Bromjunaar to get the Staff of Magnus from Morokei, who they KNOW has awoken like the other dragon priests, raising a horde of ethereal draugr slaves and setting up magical traps all through Labyrinthian. They also know by now that I’m the Dragonborn, because of that time I ABSORBED A DRAGON’S SOUL IN THE COURTYARD OF THE COLLEGE.

I’m the Chosen One, out to claim one of the most powerful artifacts in all Tamriel from a demi-litch, and Ancano is apparently like, “Well, okay, he might survive that. But if he does, HE SHALL BE NO MATCH FOR ESTORMO!”

Look, Ancano. It’s real cute you have faith in your boyfriend like that. But he’s a dude in a black robe who shoots lightning from his hands. I thu'umed him up against a wall and face-changed him with three hits from a frost mace.

Granted, I guess Ancano’s relative sense of Thalmor “might” is fundamentally screwed up, because when I actually show up with the Staff and start shooting the Eye with it, he seems genuinely amazed that his stupid plan of “shoot ball with lightning, see what happens” is now failing.

I guess when you’re raised constantly hearing how “superior” your race is, it never occurs to you that MAYBE your stupid level 4 destruction spells are exactly as shitty as anyone else’s stupid level 4 destruction spells.

Either way, I would think Ancano would have realized that if a guy is a lightning mage who named himself Estormo, he’s got to be a fucking idiot who is DESTINED to fail hilariously.

Fucking Estormo.

“So, when I first played through Skyrim in the main story quest, I came across some Thalmor documents in the embassy near Solitude. Much to my surprise I found out that Ulfric Stormcloak was in fact a sleeper agent used by the Thalmor in order to keep Skyrim in a constant civil war to cause the Empire to be made weak by internal conflict so that the empire can never pose a true threat to the Aldmeri Dominion. I realized for the good of The Empire and Skyrim Ulfric had to die..”

http://skyrimconfessions.com