Its a strange feeling when all you want to do is give up and die, just let the demons completely take over and do their worst until there’s nothing by the destroyed hollow shell that used to be me.
But then i think about him. Anything about him. It can be the little details, like how he always smiles after i say no to him loving me more, when he stops what he’s doing and i see him from the corner of my eye just looking at me, when he doesn’t let a day go by without telling me he loves me at least four times, how he talks about our future together and all the plans he has for us, when i see that glimmer of hope that great little sparkle in his eyes when i say i love him and when i try to cheer him up. Its everything. From the little everyday things to the big, bright future that we are no doubt going to have. Its the thought of him today and the thought of him still loving me when I’m old and wrinkly, no matter what. Its the fact that I’m going to marry and live the rest if my life with my best friend, i mean what more could you ask for. Just the thought of him, quiets those demons down a bit. He gives me the strength and the reason to fight, he believes in me as i am and as i will be.
I’m just literally entirely in love.
There must be a god because something so great couldn’t just happen coincidentally.
His forever and always, Geni xoxo