Tha world is such Shit i mpretty sure at this point Capitalism and Human Suffering at the hands Of Tyrants and Horrible governments and military violence is the source of my depression. Also i dont have a girlfriend but Mostly. capitalism. we can somehow connect me being single to the evils of capitalism
So I put Cas’ death scene from T&S into Gizoogle and I’m laughing so hard. And crying. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea.
Cas took a dirt nap on a Thursday.
Dat shiznit was sunny.
Beautiful California weather.
Da time leadin up was on tha fuckin’ down-low yo. His glassy eyes sat sunken up in his head, half open, his body limp on tha bed. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude made sound sometimes, or raised a hand ta rake at his wild lil’ freakadelic gown, over his chest fo’ realz. At some point durin dat night Tessa had come up in ta check his IV. Dean had lifted his wild lil’ fuckin eyes long enough ta peep her bust a nut on Cas’ hand, n’ he knew when dat dunkadelic hoe turned away dat biiiiatch was wipin her face.
“Can I lie wit him?” Dean holla’d, breakin tha rattlin sound of Cas’ breathing. Tessa nodded, still pretendin ta read something. Dean pushed tha chair back n’ pulled tha rail down. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch yo. Dude eased his dirty ass tha fuck into tha bed, pullin Cas onto his shoulder.
“Mind his head,” Tessa started yo, but dat freaky freaky biatch had ta cut her muthafuckin ass off. Dean pulled tha blanket over Cas’ lap, restin his cheek on Cas’ dry, brittle, hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Cas breathed, like waves crashing. Tessa ducked her head, touchin tha end of tha bed, her white handz blendin tha fuck into tha sheets up in tha dark.
“It won’t be too much longer,” her big-ass booty holla’d brokenly, n’ Dean didn’t say anythang yo, but folded his hand over Cas’, rubbin tha papery skin wit his cold-ass thumb. Tessa stood all up in tha end of tha bed fo’ a long-ass time, n’ dat biiiiatch wiped her eye wit her fingertips. “I’m so sorry bout dat bullshit.” Her voice was teetering, bout ta shatter n’ shit. Da professionizzle edge had long since gone.
Dean shook his head, listenin ta her footsteps disappear down tha hall.
In tha emptinizz dat followed, Dean found his crazy-ass grill open but no lyrics would come up yo. Dude stroked Cas’ thin shoulder, all tha way down ta tha sharp stab of his wild lil’ fuckin elbow yo. His fingers shook where they rested on his skin.
“It’s aiiiight,” da perved-out muthafucka holla’d ta tha stillnizz fo’ realz. Another wave broke when Cas breathed. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “It’s aiiiight. Yo ass can let go, I know - I know you’re holdin on, cuz you’re worried. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! You’re too stubborn, Cas, n’ I know you’re holdin on fo’ me yo, but I’m goin ta do tha right thang dis time. I’m not - I’m not goin ta make you wait on me again.”
Cas choked n’ Dean shifted him, n’ it seemed like suttin’ fluttered up in Cas, some recognizzle dat had been lost fo’ hours yo. Dude peeped TV ‘til morning, Cas still leanin against him, until, at last, he kicked his fuckin leg restlessly, his breathang increasin ta a impossible rate wit tha fluid dat had built up in his chest.
“It’s ok,” Dean assured his muthafuckin ass. “Yo ass know. Yo ass know I gots a straight-up boner fo’ yo thugged-out ass. Yo ass know I do, so it’s ok. It’s aiiight ta let you go now, nahmeean?”
Dude shook his head again, tryin ta clear tha tears away but they wouldn’t stop. Tessa had holla’d dat hearin was tha last thang ta bounce tha fuck out. Just keep rappin’ ta his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude could be anxious, or trippin like a muthafucka.
“Don’t be scared,” Dean blurted, “you’re bustin so good, Cas. You’re bustin so good.” Dude racked his dome fo’ something, anything, n’ suddenly he remembered Cas’ grill lookin up at his muthafuckin ass.
“So why is it yo’ straight-up song?”
Cas’ hand padded over his chin. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Dean never lost track of his wild lil’ fuckin eyes, even when Cas looked at his own hand, shy yo. Dude nudged at Dean’s grill wit his crazy-ass muthafuckin index finger, movin so his thugged-out lil’ palm was cuppin his jaw. Dean grinned against Cas’ skin, unable ta keep his smile contained. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da blue eyed pimp across from his ass was so dope, n’ da ruffneck didn’t know it yo. Dude practically shone; his thugged-out ass glittered wit suttin’ blue n’ white n’ Dean wanted ta wrap his dirty ass up in dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang like God’s grace, suttin’ like tha blue n’ chronic smudginizz of sea shells or glass bottles.
“I just - I wanna bust a nut on joints bout love,” his thugged-out lil’ punk-ass breathed a laugh, n’ Dean wrapped dat laugh round his wild lil’ finger like a lace ribbon. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Joints bout ludd dat schmoooove muthafucka hadn’t cared bout before yo, but now, da thug wouldn’t have holla’d anythang but dis shiznit yo. Dude wanted another smile, da thug wanted another dreamy look up in Cas’ eyes, so he’d busted along yo. Dude had wanted his ass ta fall mo’ up in love, cuz not a god damn thang was goin ta hurt no mo’ if dat happened. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had convinced his dirty ass, young, n’ fuckin wack. This pimp was goin ta make dis ghetto turn n’ stars would fall like rain.
Dean had heard it before, hadn’t he, biatch? On tha radio. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somewhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo’sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somewhere before yo, but at dat moment Cas was lookin at his ass n’ Dean had never loved his ass like da ruffneck did chillin across tha table, watchin his ass drift away, listening. Da one dat schmoooove muthafucka hummed as tha pimpin’ muthafucka traced Dean’s arm when tha fell tha fuck asleep, tha one he played ‘til he fucked up tha record.
“Remember?” dat schmoooove muthafucka hushed. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “Yo ass remember that, biatch? In dat lil crib, biatch? Yo ass know I still - I still can’t remember where I heard dat song. I just sort of knew tha lyrics though.” Cas breathed harshly again n’ again n’ again n’ Dean adjusted his sweater a lil, smoothang it down wit his thugged-out lil’ palm yo. Dude peeped his own hand n’ couldn’t brang his dirty ass ta do it again n’ again n’ again fo’ a moment.
“Wise pimps say,” his thugged-out lil’ punk-ass fuckin started, “only fools rush in…” Dude slid his hand ta Cas’ lap, closin it round Cas’ cold fingers.
“But I can’t help-” Cas jerked, gasping, hand scramblin at not a god damn thang yo. His eyes was wide n’ unseeing, n’ his hairy-ass legs twitched. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dean stared all up in tha wall, holdin his ass tightly, “I-I can’t help, fallin up in love, up in yo’ faaaaaace!”
There was a shitty sound. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sucked up in air n’ it churned up in his chest, tha noise thick n’ wet, n’ when he exhaled it hissed, like waves crashin against rocks, like tha tide slitherin back towardz tha sea.
Whenever you’re scared…
Cas stopped breathang entirely.
Dude could feel Cas’ ass beat once, n’ then tha grand pause fo’ realz. Another beat yo. Dude raised tha camera ta his wild lil’ fuckin eye, starin all up in tha view finder - . Da framed pictures on tha wall was blurrin together, spillin outta they bordaz n’ minglin on tha dull wallpaper, a watercolor mess. Cas didn’t move. Cas turned towardz tha camera, smilin - Dude had ta be brave yo. Dude had ta be brave - dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta be brave like his schmoooove ass couldn’t before yo. Dude peeped his crazy-ass grill uncurl - Dude promised he’d take care of his muthafuckin ass. Dat shiznit was like watchin flowers open up in slow motion - That’d he’d always take care of his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude took a funky-ass breath - His boy. Eyes on tha camera - His boy.
I gots a straight-up boner fo’ yo thugged-out ass.
Dean was tryin ta remember what tha fuck ta say.
“It’s ok,” his voice cracked. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “It’s aiiight - like a river flows, surely ta tha sea,” da perved-out muthafucka sang, n’ tha monitor was screaming, n’ Dean had ta rap louder so Cas could hear him, bendin his wild lil’ grill as close as his schmoooove ass could, pressin it against his cold-ass temple, hopin tha lyrics would go straight tha fuck into his muthafuckin ass. “Darlin so it goes, some thangs is meant ta be …”
Further up tha beach, bustin up now, glintin like diamonds, tha light bouncin off n’ returnin ta his wild lil’ fuckin eyes, tha glare of tha sun off of his wild lil’ freakadelic glasses, makin his ass shine, makin his thugged-out ass shine -
“So take mah hand,” da perved-out muthafucka sang, n’ his voice was fallin apart, his schmoooove ass could barely hear his dirty ass over tha wail of tha machinery, “take mah whole game too…” His fingers remained up in tha hollowz of his cheeks, thumb brushin over his fuckin lips.
- he’d cupped his handz n’ shouted -
Da noise peaked, n’ Dean was silent, unable ta continue, tears fallin tha fuck into Cas’ afro yo. His cheek was pressed tha fuck into Dean’s shoulder, eyes starin blankly past Dean’s chest, shinin up from his colorless face, two half-moons peerin up from under his fuckin lil’ dark lashes.
I gots a straight-up boner fo’ yo thugged-out ass.
I gots a straight-up boner fo’ you -
I gots a straight-up boner fo’ -
Dean sat stone still yo. Dude wondered if tha flat-line was suttin’ da thug was just makin up yo. Dude wondered if dat shiznit was suttin’ his crazy-ass mind had just conjured cuz that’s what tha fuck you always saw up in pornos yo. Dude couldn’t remember tha last part of tha cold lil’ woo wop yo. Dude couldn’t hear anythang but tha monitor, still going, tha noise passin all up in his ass n’ everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo’sho yo. Dude didn’t move. Didn’t flinch, didn’t breathe yo. Dude simply waited there, waited fo’ some tremble dat would wake his ass up yo, but it never came.
Dude was vaguely aware of Tessa’s shadow as dat thugged-out biiiatch came tha fuck into tha room, tha doctor following. Tessa went ta tha monitor n’ read suttin’ out, lookin at her watch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turned it off n’ tha room was pitched tha fuck into silence. Dean stared all up in tha same spot on tha wall, his thugged-out arms still round Cas’ body, his cheek still leaned tha fuck into his hair.
Tessa came over ta his ass n’ put her hand on his shoulder.
Dude moved his head towardz tha sound of her voice yo, but his wild lil’ fuckin eyes didn’t move from tha wall.
Bitch squeezed her hand on his thugged-out arm
“Dean, we need you ta git up now, nahmeean?”
Dude nodded, slowly lettin go of Cas n’ lettin his ass sink tha fuck into tha pillows, tha last warmth of his body pressed tha fuck into Dean’s arms. Dean stood, Tessa helpin him, n’ once da thug was standin tha pimpin’ muthafucka turned.
Dude looked at Cas’ face, n’ he felt his body start ta fall apart.
“Oh god,” he rasped. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Tessa took his ass up in her arms, tryin ta lead his ass outta tha room yo, but Dean couldn’t move.
“Come on Dean, shhh…” Tessa attempted but Dean didn’t straight-up hear it yo. Dude was watchin dem gently roll Cas ta a mo’ stable position. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. They slipped tha IV outta his thugged-out arm n’ removed tha tape. A nurse unfolded a cold-ass lil clean white shizzle n’ fuckin started ta drape it over his muthafuckin ass.
Dude couldn’t move yo. Dude - his schmoooove ass couldn’t -
“Fuck dat shit, I gots a straight-up boner fo’ him,” da perved-out muthafucka holla’d weakly. “I gots a straight-up boner fo’ his muthafuckin ass.” Dude pushed back against Tessa, his hairy-ass legs bobbin. “Yo ass don’t - you don’t understand,” tha pimpin’ muthafucka tried again yo, but no one was listening. “That’s - that’s mah baby,” da thug whimpered, “please, that’s mah baby.”
“God, Jizzy,” Dean, wept, his knees bucklin under his muthafuckin ass. “I gots a straight-up boner fo’ his ass -”
“Tessa sunk ta tha floor wit his ass as Dean sobbed tha fuck into her shoulder, grippin her arms so hard his schmoooove ass could feel his cold-ass thumbs pop yo. Dude screamed tha fuck into her n’ dat biiiiatch wrapped her arms round his back, one hand movin ta tha back of his head. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Her cap came unpinned n’ fell tha fuck ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.
"Dean, shhh, you gotta git a hold of yo ass!” dat thugged-out biiiatch continued, n’ Dean sobbed again. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch stopped rappin’ afta dis shit.“Shh,” dat freaky freaky biatch hushed, rockin dem as tha doctor n’ nurses left. Dean heaved fo’ air, n’ every last muthafuckin thang was silent.
Da reel clicked n’ stuttered.
Cas’ shell sank ta tha bottom of tha ocean.
I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING AND LAUGHING OH MY JESUS IF YOU READ T&S PLEASE MOTHERFUCKIN READ THIS