So I told this tree I would make it Tumblr famous

And it looked at me quizzically because it didn’t know what a Tumblr was, but it knew that famous was a good thing, so it told me to keep talking.

So a while back, our landscaping crew decided that a couple of trees would be super duper lucky and get rock circles around the base of their trunks. No clue why they did it, but one day I was walking to work and noticed a few trees with circles and semi-circles around them. I always viewed them as being like rock pearl necklaces for the trees, or maybe smiley faces.

idk man, but apparently they are important because when I saw that one of the circles had been jacked up last week, the tree that owned said rock circle flipped its shit.

(this tree right here)

The first few days, it screeched about how it wanted me to fix the rocks OMG NOW BECAUSE ITS A BIG DEAL or something.

And when I told it to shove off and be patient and wait for the landscapers to do it, it got huffy.

It had over the weekend to stew on it, and by Monday, it was threatening to cut a bitch if I didn’t fix its damned rock circle.

Not even kidding.

And so I got tired of its whining and side-eyeing me 4 times a day, so today I bit the bullet and fixed the damned semi-circle, so now it looks like the tree is smiling again, which we all know its just using to hide its bitchy attitude. Yes.

And it seemed shocked I’d do this, even after it threatened me. So to mark this monumental day, I’m writing about it, and making it Tumblr famous, except not really, because who will reblog a story about a bitchy tree.

Just another day.

#2571. Every year, the smash manor hosts a battle of the bands. Featuring “The Backslash Boys”, “Flaming Fists of Punchitude,” “The Robot Masters,” “The Other Castles,” “Sense of Scale,” “TFBT (Tiny Fire Breathing Turtles),” “Time keeps Dragoning on,” “The Meta Myrmidons,” “The Game Masters,” “WAFT (Wario Amazing Fart Transcendence),” “The Rolling Rockers,” and “The Mario Brothers.”