tf:let me go

The more you forget me, the deeper I slip.
Give this silence two more months and it’ll be like we never even met at all. That’s what we both want, right?
The thought of you wanting nothing to do with me still hurts just as much as it used to.
I promise I won’t call anymore.
I won’t even say your name when I’m drunk, alone in a bar.
It won’t be so bad, right?
We always go back to each other, right?

But, what if we don’t this time?

—  Maybe we weren’t supposed to work out

Ok, what the fuck?

Have you guys ever felt attacked by your main celebrity crush? Like… you’re finally starting to see other handsome actors and suddenly they come back with lots of photshoots or some new trailer and just pull you back in a “You’re not going anywhere” kind of way?

BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THOMAS IS CONSTANTLY DOING TO ME.

Back when I was starting to crush on Sebastian, all the Kong shiz happened. Now i am really trying to stick with my guy, calm, zen, flowery Keanu, where everything is peaceful and he’s a gentle guy, AND HERE HE COMES THOMAS STOMPING WITH NEW LOKI SHIZ, AND NEW PHOTOSHOOTS.

I JUST… CAN’T.CATCH.A BREAK.

YOU SHUT YOUR FACE, WILLIAM.

(via https://open.spotify.com/track/0oY4wXxt8GHvvIuZjk5Cf5)

Since you left, I’ve been holding on to a memory
Since you walked out that door, yeah
And you said I changed and you’re so damn sick of me
You’re not mine anymore, 1-2-3-4

Woah, woah
She said you need to let me go
Woah, woah
She said I died for you, you’re like my drug but I can’t get high off you
You’re not mine anymore

Ayy, I still remember what you wore on the first night
Still remember how that black dress had your curves right
Still remember smokin’ just to calm my nerves
‘Til you had to leave and grabbed your purse, I grabbed first
Uh, there’s no words, yeah, it’s just her
Body against mine, makeup on my shirt
Lipstick on my neck, whiskey on my breath
Takin’ pictures in the moment so we don’t forget, yeah

Woah, woah
She said you need to let me go
Woah, woah
She said I died for you, you’re like my drug but I can’t get high off you
You’re not mine anymore

And I can’t be myself without you
I am not well
Okay, I said that before but
I need you now, yeah

Woah, woah
She said you need to let me go
Woah, woah
She said I died for you, you’re like my drug but I can’t get high off you
You’re not mine anymore

Since you left, I’ve been holding on to a memory
Since you walked out that door
And you said I changed and you’re so damn sick of me
You’re not mine anymore

Woah, woah
She said you need to let me go
Woah, woah
She said I died for you, you’re like my drug but I can’t get high off you
You’re not mine anymore

One day you will realize that I was down for you. I would’ve done anything, given you everything you could ever ask for and doubled it.

One day you’ll see what a catch I was. You’ll see what I’m really worth and realize what you thought were just rocks that you let slip through your fingers were actually filled with diamonds.

One day you will regret that almost love we had. You’ll remember my hands on your skin, your lips and hips on mine, the late night laughter, the way my eyes would light up and the smile that inched across my teeth for you.

One day you will miss me: the one you let get away.

—  [s.bucks]
#41 // excerpt from a book I’ll never write