tf2 headcanon

Tf2 headcanon: Imagine if…

The medigun had withdrawal effects on the mercs? Think about it. They are constantly bathing in something that makes them feel better mentally and physically. As an added bonus, Medic canonly inhales the Kritzkrieg fumes and seems to get a slight high from them. So when the mercs are suddenly not able to get the medigun fumes, could they possibly go through some form of withdrawal?

I find this a cool theory.

Mercs when they’re tired (and I mean, “haven’t slept for a few days” tired)

Scout: Slow, so so slow. His vision his blurry, his head hurts, he has no energy no matter how much Bonk! he drinks. Trying to talk to him won’t go anywhere, he’ll make a noise vaguely like a reply and walk off, even if he was in the middle of something.

Soldier: Quiet. This because he feels kinda sick, and wishes he could go to bed and sleep forever, but his vigorous routine is more important! He is not doing too well, and only half completes whatever thing he’s doing before running out of time and just moving on instead of finishing. Ask him a question and he’ll say the answer in a dreary, monotone voice.

Pyro: It’s barely noticeable unless you pay attention, but their voice drops and slows, and they walk into things more often. They hate it; they wanna play but they can’t bring themselves to. 

Demo: Even more sluggish and disorientated, if that’s even possible. Literally does nothing the whole time he’s like that. Less emotional than usual. Asking him for anything is likely to result in him doing whatever asked of him completely wrong.

Heavy: He is used to being up late, but a couple of days without sleep still affects him. He struggles to keep his eyes open, and drinks coffee, which he never does under any other circumstance. He’s still coherent, but slightly sluggish and suffering. 

Engineer: He is used to not sleeping for a week straight, but that doesn’t stop him from deteriorating. His memory is foggy, he forgets to eat, the time, where he put that thing he just put down 3 seconds ago; he’s a mess. The others - usually Medic, Heavy or Pyro - have to come in and make sure he’s looking after himself (which he usually isn’t).

Medic: Despite him being a medical professional, he is also used to not sleeping for a week straight. When he has not slept for a few days, he is grouchy, irritable and impatient. Only Engie and Heavy have the ability to talk to him without losing a few limbs and a lot of blood during this time, and usually are the ones who eventually lure him to bed, despite protest about work.

Sniper: He has drunk so much coffee it should have killed him, and all it’s done is make him shaky, and he’s still clouded and unfocused. His sniping is way off, he’s hit more walls than he’d like to admit. Any conversation will go nowhere, he doesn’t reply half the time and the other half only wins you an annoyed mumble.

Spy: Having face a lot of things throughout his life, he has never mastered dealing with a horrific lack of sleep. He can’t mask it all that well - it’s so easy to tell that he’s deprived. He sways a bit, he blacks out occasionally, and always has a headache. When slightly tired, but not that much, he’ll yell at you in frustration - when he’s been awake for a few days, however, he’s too tired for that. He’ll just growl at you then black out again for a few seconds.

My Medic Headcanon
  • Full name is Dr. Bertram Radomír Ludwig.

  • Born in 1922, making him the oldest of the mercs.

  • Second only to Spy in his knowledge of languages. He’s fully fluent in German, English, Czech, and Yiddish—the latter two from his mother—and passably fluent in French. He has academic knowledge of Latin and Greek and has picked up a bit of Russian from Heavy.

  • Has a mixed parentage. His mother was a Jewish-Czech immigrant to the town of Rottenburg, and his father, a mad scientist from an established, well-off family. She was hired on as his father’s lab assistant, eventually leading to their marriage. They’d describe it as very romantic, but Medic always thought it was weird and kind of gross.

  • An only child.

  • Went on family hiking trips to the Alps growing up, an activity he still enjoys when he has a chance.

  • Was initially raised Jewish, but this was abandoned a few years before he was Bar Mitzvah age. By 1933, his parents scrubbed as much of their family’s Jewish connections as they could. As a result, he doesn’t feel much connection to the Jewish culture or faith. So he’s non-practicing, obviously.

  • Starting in his early teens, he attended all-male boarding schools, first in Germany and then in Switzerland.

  • His mother used his attendance at Swiss schools as a ticket to escape an increasingly tense Germany and move to be near him. His father promised he’d follow eventually, but never did. Medic never forgave him for that.

  • During WWII, his father finally divorced his mother, declaring the marriage a lost cause and starting over with a new young wife. Medic cut off all contact with his father after that.

  • Supported his mother after the divorce and finished putting himself through school by selling drugs and organs on the black market and performing back-alley surgeries. He gained a reputation for stealing kidneys from the men he slept with but still did just fine. Besides, he only took one!

  • Toward the end of WWII, Medic did his first stint of field medicine when bombing (from both sides) spilled over into Zürich, where he was living and studying at the time. He turned out to be very good at it, but before he could leave Switzerland and go work on the front, the war was over. Whoops!

  • His father is still alive, but Medic pretends he’s dead. 

After the Comic Series ends…

Give me a Sniper who can’t focus and needs a second to catch his breath, after he spots an enemy sniper reloading between shots.

Give me a Medic who refuses to stand behind anyone, in case they turn around with a gun and a crazed grin.

Give me a Pauling who apologizes almost frantically and profusely after any minor inconvenience.

Give me a Scout that jumps and dissociates at the sight of robotics or androids, and has trouble being near Engie’s mechanical arm.

Give me a Demoman who will wake up in a cold sweat, then go around knocking on everyone’s doors to make sure all are accounted for.

Give me a Spy who’s hands start to tremble and shake, whenever Scout comes back to base with even a speck of blood on his shirt, before snapping at him to go wash his shirt.

Give me a Heavy who almost collapses in a blind panic when he sees someone, anyone go down, and he’s not close enough to stop it.

Give me a Pyro that hugs his teammates a bit longer and tighter than usual.

Give me a Soldier who becomes frantic and paranoid when one of his men is late for roll call.

Give me a Zhanna who stares at her stump for hours at a time, dead silent and eyes blank before Soldier calls her over, and she’s back with her badass prosthetic on.

And give me an Engineer who can’t look his team-mates in the eye. Not even the ones at his height.

I just noticed something

When little Mun-Dee falls from the sky into a backyard in the outback, his soon-to-be adoptive father wears a moustache like the good australian he is:


But then, when we see him again in heaven through Sniper’s eyes, he doesn’t have it:


I always wondered why Sniper’s dad, being a true australian, didn’t have a moustache. Having finally noticed how he used to have one, now I think I know:

His son always had troubles being accepted because of how un-australian he looked, and when he had troubles growing a moustache like all the others, his father decided to shave so his son wouldn’t feel as much like an outcast.
Despite never accepting his professional choices, Jonathan Mundy never stopped supporting his son.

I saw several other posts about this already but….
I just want to point out that this is how the mercs live. This is their home, they share it and live in this house in the middle of the desert and spend their time there when they aren’t fighting.
They also kept the tumour bread as their pet.

And that’s it.
9 grown up men, living in a small house in the middle of the desert with their pet tumour bread monster.
And I love every single one of them. 

anonymous asked:

The merc's reactions to having an s.o. who likes to be picked up when they're hugged, please??

Thanks for the ask, anon, I really enjoyed writing this one!

Scout: He does his best to oblige, though after a long day of swinging bats around he has trouble with it. However, when he hears his S/O giggling and feels them burying their face into his neck as he holds them, it makes the effort worth it. 

Soldier: He takes it one step further, and carries his S/O everywhere. He likes picking them up, it makes him feel really close to them. And, it’s a great use for his strength, too.

Pyro: They love picking up their S/O! It always makes them feel super snug and happy, and on good days, or when they’ve been separate for a while, he might spin them around a bit. 

Demo: He’s cautious with it at first, not wanting to drop his S/O. But, after plenty of reassurance and convincing, he relaxes. His S/O isn’t going to fall, they’re very sure of themselves. After this, he finds that it takes all his will not to pick up other people he hugs.

Heavy: Due to how big he is, he finds it hard not to pick up whoever he hugs, and he is comforted knowing his S/O likes it. A lot of times, his S/O will be put down somewhere different to where they were picked up - Heavy has a habit of wandering when he’s holding someone.

Engie: It takes a couple of weeks for him to not lug them over his shoulder and run around with them, but of course he’ll oblige! Picking stuff up is second nature to him, and his S/O is not an exception. He enjoys it just as much as his S/O.

Medic: It’s refreshing, picking something up that isn’t a dying person or fresh corpse, and being able to hold them close and snuggle into their shoulder. He probably enjoys it more than his S/O.

Sniper: He’s awkward with any contact that isn’t professional, so it takes him a while to figure out what to do. When he gets it, he loves picking up his S/O! He struggles with it a bit, sure, but it’s nice.

Spy: He is indifferent at first, but the more his S/O asks, the more he’s tempted to oblige, just once. He does, eventually, and then again, then a couple more times… he enjoys doing it, but pretends he doesn’t. His S/O knows that he likes picking them up, though. 

MBTI Headcanon

Scout: ESFP

“The Entertainer”

  • Pros: fun-loving, gregarious, daring, original, excellent showmanship
  • Cons: unfocused, sensitive to criticism, bored easily, shallow, impatient

Soldier: ESFJ

“The Provider”

  • Pros: caring, loyal, dutiful, practical, thrives on structure, respects tradition & authority
  • Cons: obsessed with social status, defensive, needy, too selfless, inflexible, stubborn

Pyro: ENFP

“The Champion”

  • Pros: energetic, enthusiastic, knows how to relax, loving, excellent conversationalist
  • Cons: emotionally unstable, easily stressed, impractical, unfocused, fiercely independent

Demo: ISFP

“The Adventurer”

  • Pros: sensitive, observant, charming, open-minded, passionate
  • Cons: easily stressed, competitive, unpredictable, fiercely independent, emotionally guarded

Heavy: ISFJ

“The Defender”

  • Pros: supportive, loyal, hardworking, patient, observant, practical
  • Cons: emotionally repressed, taciturn, inflexible, easily overburdened & taken for granted

Engie: ISTP

“The Mechanic”

  • Pros: optimistic, level-headed, rational, laid-back, practical
  • Cons: stubborn, reserved, insensitive, very private, non-committal

Medic: ENTP

“The Visionary”

  • Pros: clever, charismatic, original, excellent brain-stormer, quick learner
  • Cons: insensitive, dismissive, unfocused, impractical, argumentative

Sniper: ISTJ

“The Inspector”

  • Pros: responsible, strong-willed, dutiful, honest, calm, rule-follower
  • Cons: insensitive, stubborn, self-deprecating, distant, inflexible, overly serious

Spy: ISTJ

“The Inspector”

  • Pros: responsible, strong-willed, dutiful, honest, calm, rule-follower
  • Cons: insensitive, stubborn, self-deprecating, distant, inflexible, overly serious

Administrator: ENTJ

“The Commander”

  • Pros: strong-willed, inspirational, tireless, cunning & strategic, confident
  • Cons: stubborn, emotionally careless, impatient, cold & ruthless, arrogant

Miss Pauling: ISFJ

“The Defender”

  • Pros: supportive, loyal, hardworking, patient, observant, practical
  • Cons: emotionally repressed, taciturn, inflexible, easily overburdened & taken for granted

Saxton Hale: ESTP

“The Entrepreneur”

  • Pros: gregarious, bold, direct, original, pragmatic
  • Cons: insensitive, impatient, impulsive, unstructured, reckless risk-seeker

Merasmus: INTP

“The Philosopher”

  • Pros: excellent abstract thinker, original, open-minded, enthusiastic, straightforward
  • Cons: absent-minded, condescending, indecisive, insensitive, extremely private

Zhanna: ESTP

“The Entrepreneur”

  • Pros: gregarious, bold, direct, original, pragmatic
  • Cons: insensitive, impatient, impulsive, unstructured, reckless risk-seeker

Redmond & Blutarch Mann: ESTJ

“The Executive”

  • Pros: organized, direct & honest, patient, dedicated, strong-willed
  • Cons: inflexible, stubborn, obsessed with social status, unable to relax, judgmental

Gray Mann: INTJ

“The Architect”

  • Pros: hardworking, determined, confident, clever, polymath
  • Cons: arrogant, judgmental, perfectionist, socially oblivious, aloof

Soldier: Instead of ‘Seven Minutes in Heaven,’ we should play 'Seven Minutes in Hell!’

Engineer:… is-…Is that wher-?

Soldier: INSTEAD OF MAKING OUT, WE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER IN THE BROOM CLOSET!